The Ultimate Guide to Finding the Career that Fits You – Part 3


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Download the whole guide as a PDF

What You Want…

…and what you don't want!

Would you believe that I had my single biggest breakthrough about careers during a very “heated” discussion with Alyssa.

We weren’t being very nice to each other at all (ok…ok I’ll only speak for myself, I wasn’t being very nice to her!)

I was frustrated because it seemed like no matter what I did, I wasn’t making her very happy. It was like I couldn’t figure out what the solution was. In the moment, it seemed hopeless. Even during that “heated” conversation, I felt like I didn’t even know what to do next.  

I realized the entire time I hadn't been focusing on what she and I wanted, I had only been focusing on what Alyssa didn't want!

You can read about the whole thing here at “The Happiness Avoidance Problem”

This is how people often feel about their own careers, it seems hopeless and people don’t even know where to begin to go after what they want, let alone even start to figure out what they want.

In fact, many times when we ask that question of other people, they start to give us a list of what they don’t want.


Here’s how that conversation often goes:

So… what is it that you want out of your career?”

Coaching Client (Unintentionally ignores the question): Well… I don’t want to have such a rigid schedule. I can’t even get time off to make it to family events. It’s pretty ridiculous.”

People usually jump right to what they don’t want.

Why? Because it’s a lot easier to figure that part out. You have (probably even recently) had very specific things happen to you in your career or in your life that you don’t want there and you can recall these.

It’s much more difficult to buckle down and do the hard work of identifying what you want. So, virtually nobody actually does it.

Here's my friend (and the guy who helped me start HTYC) Mark Sieverkropp's thoughts about focusing on what you don't want:

“Early in my career, I was the king of this!  I had several jobs that I really disliked.  I would spend all day long listing, in my mind, the things that I hated about that job. And I vowed that my next job would not have this characteristic or that job duty.

And each time I changed jobs, I succeeded in finding a job that didn’t have the 2 or 3 things that I had told myself I did not want in a job!  

The problem was, I would quickly discover new things to dislike about the new job.   

I have since discovered that it was in understanding what I didn’t want that I got insights into what I did want…”

Here’s how we are going to make it easier.

We are going to have you break it down into smaller steps to get you there by first acknowledging that there are things you definitely don’t want, then help you use that information to identify what you actually do want.

Until you understand what you want, you will not be able to “figure out what to do.”


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Hit me back with an email about what you find! I would love to hear! (Yes, I get a lot of emails… yes, I also read every single one!)


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