We’ve observed over the years that Top Performers ask for help completely differently than other people. They do it in a way that causes their boss to love them, friends to always want to help, and colleagues to enjoy lending a hand.

What is this massive difference in how Top Performers ask for help?

The secret is they make it ridiculously easy for other people to help them. They do all the work and the heavy lifting. They make it hard to say “no, I can't help you” 

As I've studied this phenomenon I've pulled out the specific pieces to create a formula that High Performers use that makes obtaining help easier anytime they need it..

I call this the High Performer Help Formula that includes five simple parts to include in your request for help to make it MUCH more effective..

The High Performer Help Formula That Makes it Hard to Refuse

Here's the broken down steps!

  1.     Share the area that you need help with.
  2.     Share specifically where you are getting stuck
  3.     Share what you’ve already tried
  4.     Share the other options you’re considering as a solution
  5.     Share what action you’d like the person to take

Here’s an example: Let’s say you're struggling with asking your boss to adjust your schedule.


The average person would probably send you an email saying something like: “Hey I’ve been trying to get my boss to allow me to come in late and it’s not working. Do you have any advice?”

That type of request basically guarantees that anyone trying to help you is going to have to ask you a billion questions to give useful advice OR you just aren’t going to get the support that they need. Either way it isn’t a great thing.


Here’s how High Performers ask for help


I’m trying to figure out the best way to approach my boss about getting permission to come into the office 30 minutes later than normal every Wednesday morning. I’ve developed a plan that ensures I can still get all of my work completed, but I’m not sure how to approach my boss with the request. Recently, I mentioned my difficulty in getting to work on time on Wednesdays—hoping she would offer flexibility. She didn’t. I’ve thought about emailing her to describe why I need this time or setting a meeting on the calendar to discuss work flexibility. Can you share your opinion on the most effective way to get my boss to approve my late arrivals on Wednesdays?


Note the difference in how much easier it is for someone to provide a useful response with the second request as opposed to the first one.


High Performers realize that they have to take ownership over how they ask to make it easier to get the result they need.


We’ve created a resource video that you can share with anyone you want to teach them how to ask for help. Let's make it easier to help each other!