577: Career Clarity: The Journey To Discovering What You Truly Want

Kristy Wenz 00:01

We were actually leaving for a sabbatical in Europe, and I knew it could be gone for seven months, so thought that this would be a great opportunity to kind of really explore things, come back and know what I wanted to do. And of course, that didn't happen. I went over there with, you know, high expectations of I'm going to have that 'aha' moment, and I'm going to come back and know exactly what I'm going to do.

Introduction 00:26

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast with Scott Anthony Barlow. We hope you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does, and make it happen. We help you define the work that is unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you feel like you were meant for more, and you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:52

Over time, you've definitely heard the word clarity come up as it relates to careers, career change, everything in between, and certainly once or twice on this podcast. The interesting thing is that most people think clarity means knowing what you want. And it does, in a way. But interestingly enough, clarity comes from the root word, which is the same root word that declares uses. So when you think about clarity, it really is about declaring what you want. In fact, declaring what's most important to you. That's what creates the knowing what you want. Now here's also an interesting thing, you can't get you to your ideal role unless you know what ideal means for you, what's most important for you. And the truth is, most people just don't know what they want or have the courage to declare what is most important. One of my favorite success stories about landing an ideal role comes from Kristy Wenz. Kristy traveled around the world thinking that she would be able to have clarity at the end of that. She was visiting wineries, tasting wine, and she learned that she loves wineries and wine. However, she still came back without clarity. We got the opportunity to help her answer the question and declare what she really wanted. And once she figured it out, things really opened up for her.

Kristy Wenz 02:16

I didn't figure it out, and I'm still here at home. Am I ever gonna get out of this place? And so it got ugly for a little bit. And it was a struggle. And it took a while for me to kind of get a hold of myself and say, "Okay, I need to do something about this, that I can do something about this."

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:33

Kristy had a very successful career in PR for about 20 years before she just kind of hit a wall. And she really found out that the work was no longer satisfying to her, and she started experiencing emotional problems, even physical problems, before she finally realized she had to move on to something that suited her better at that point in her life. Kristy does a great job of articulating her struggle to understand what she wanted, and I want you to listen, because she explains how she figured it out.

Kristy Wenz 03:04

I actually started in house marketing, you know, decades ago, and then eventually led to public relations, and I worked for a small boutique agency, and yeah, I liked it at the time–it was exciting, it was new. I learned a lot, made some fantastic connections, and ended up staying in that industry for 20 years and eventually owning my own business in that industry. So it was interesting to have my own company and be able to design that in a way that fit my lifestyle. But it wasn't satisfying enough for me, if that makes sense. I eventually kind of learned as much as I could learn, kind of, hit a wall there, and there was nowhere for me to advance anymore. I could take on new clients and new projects. So it still had diversity, but it was in an industry that, frankly, is not very exciting to me. There are some things I like about it, but it's kind of vanilla and doesn't get very exciting. And it was just there was really no upward mobility. It kind of lost its luster to me at that point. And the thing that held me to it was the flexibility that I had. I was able to work from home and work with people I wanted to work with. In terms of my own company, clients were a different story, but the flexibility is really what kept me going. I was able to work from home, be with my kids while they were young, and that just really made a huge difference in my life. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. I mean, we had some amazing vacations. We had time at home with the kids, and so it seemed to be able to kind of keep up with my career and have a role that I was content with, I wouldn't say happy with, but I was content with. And then, gosh, I really kind of started to realize that, you know, this isn't really what I wanted to do. I had an opportunity to go. I had an opportunity to go in house with a client a couple days a week. And the first year of that was so thrilling and exciting. I was creating a marketing department. They had one that was really low production, low morale, they were losing people left and right. And so I got to come in and own something and turn it around and turn it into a successful program. And that was... I loved it. I was, you know, out with people in downtown, and that was all very exciting. But again, in that same industry that I was kind of getting tired of, so I knew that I needed something more, and this gave me a little bit of that. And so I kind of wanted to start exploring. And at that time, we were actually leaving for a sabbatical in Europe, and I knew I was going to be gone for seven months, so thought this would be a great opportunity to kind of really explore things, come back and know what I wanted to do. And of course, that didn't happen. I went over there with, you know, high expectations of I'm going to have that 'aha' moment, and I'm going to come back and know exactly what I'm going to do. And I did not.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:45

Let me ask you about that, though, because we encounter a lot of people that want to take a sabbatical and feel that same way going into it. For the ones that do actually go forward, they feel that same way, like, "if I just create the time and space, then I'm going to get, you know, that 'aha' moment, or that clarity, or then I'll be able to immediately come back." But almost all of them that we talked to before and after that have done that, you know, and done that without anything else in there, kind of have the similar type experience. They don't have the clarity, or don't have the 'aha' moment if they're just going over there expecting that to take care of it. So I'm curious what your experience was, and why you thought that was that you didn't come back with that aha moment.

Kristy Wenz 06:31

That's a good question. I don't know why I didn't come back with that. I mean, the experience is definitely amazing. I wouldn't trade it for the world. It was, you know, it was difficult being in foreign places with small kids, and as a family, the four of us were always together all the time. Really didn't have any breaks from each other. So it was a really intense kind of experiment as a family. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. We met just amazing people. Had so many fantastic experiences learning about different cultures and histories, and so we had a lot of amazing things out of it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:59

Intense is the wrong word, by the way. We use the same word when we have traveled with our kids in the past four... Yes, it's amazing and also intense.

Kristy Wenz 07:12

Right. Yeah. And moments you wouldn't trade for the world, and then others you're like, "Why are we doing this? Are we insane?" It was nuts. But, you know, it's almost like hitting pause on life for a minute. We kind of got to take a break from all of our responsibilities and schools and activities and things like that, and we really just got to hit pause and be together. So that part was amazing. I expect that I would have more time to kind of dive into my inner workings and figure out exactly what I wanted to do, and do some major thought work, and what areas I really wanted to come back and what I liked. And I did do some of that, you know, I kind of was able to pull out of myself things I knew needed to be a part of my career. Like I knew I wanted to write, I knew I wanted to communicate with people. I knew I wanted to somehow be involved in food and wine and travel if I could, because I love how it brings people together. So I knew that needed to be a part of it. I didn't know what it looked like at all. And so when I came back and I found myself doing my same things again, back at my same job, back at, you know, our same routines, that's when it really kind of hit me that, you know, that I didn't have that 'aha' moment. I'm still, I'm back to where I left, and I don't want to be here. And at that point it kind of, it turned ugly for me, you know, to be honest. I was not in a good space. It was, you know, I had some depression, I had some resentments and anger. And, you know, it all stemmed from the fact that I didn't figure it out, and I'm still here, and how am I ever going to get out of this place? And so it got ugly for a little bit, and it was a struggle, and it took a while for me to kind of get a hold of myself and say, "Okay, I need to do something about this, that I can do something about this." And I would have starts and stops, and I go get some books and read about things I could do, and then I would start to do some things and get sidetracked, and then just be like, "Oh, it's just a waste of my time, anyway. I've got too much going on." And, you know, it's easy to distract yourself. And so I found myself getting involved in things that weren't fulfilling but kept me busy. And so for the next, I would say, until this spring, really, I have lots of starts and stops. And then I hit the point this spring where I just decided, "Time's up. I've got to do something, and I'm the only one that can make it happen. Certainly, people around me can support me, and I can find resources to help me, but I need to take that step and stay committed to it." And I did. It's been fantastic since.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:41

Do you remember, if anything, was there one or a series of things that caused you to eventually have that realization that, "Hey, nobody else in the world is going to do this for me, and I need to do it and stick with it", like, what finally happened that caused you to have that? I'm going to call that an 'aha' moment too, but maybe it actually..

Kristy Wenz 10:00

Right. Yeah. It was probably more of, you know, somebody beating me over the head moment before I actually, like, realized what was happening. I had gotten so stressed to the point it had started to affect my physical health of having back pain and neck pain and, you know, all kinds of random pains. And so then started worrying that I was sick, and it, you know, went through this whole cycle, and it was stress. It was just really stressed. And so it really kind of took, like said, it took a hammer over the head of my body to just had to say, "Stop", and for me to step back and say, "Nope, I need to address it, or I'm going to end up sick and miserable." And I really didn't want that. So it was a combination of that. And then I was doing some dabbling into some part time work, and that wasn't going where I wanted it to go. And I just had this moment where I was on a trip, I was doing things I liked, I was traveling, I was working in food and wine, but something still wasn't right. And I was on one of the trips, and I almost just started crying as I was walking down the street, and that's completely unlike me. And I thought, you know, "It's time. Like everything is just lining up. This isn't working. I need to actually sit down and make a decision." And my husband, I took a weekend away in March, I think it was, and talked about things, and we had been saving up and kind of getting ourselves in line for me to be able to take some time and do some research and really figure this out. And so we decided it was time to do it. And it so happened, and this was kind of a weird coincidental thing.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:31

It always is.

Kristy Wenz 11:32

Yeah, exactly. I had reached out to you in 2015, I remember, and did some initial work on what you want in your career. And since then been signed up to the emails, but I believe they were going into my spam or I hadn't seen them in a long time. And honestly, after that weekend away with my husband, it popped into my inbox again, and it was the bootcamp email that it was the last day to sign up for bootcamp. And I was like, there we go. And talk to my husband, and he's, you know, "Absolutely do it. Just sign up" and that was it. So there were a lot of things that led into it, but it was that email just showing up that day, right after we had had that conversation, that it was just like, "Okay, this is time. I'm on the right path."

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:13

Well, I think what is amazing about that though, Kristy, is it was not a small or, yeah, it was not a small series of events that led up to you being, like, how do I even say it, did creating the right time and space for you to be open to owning it in a completely different way than what you had before, and looking at it through a different lens than what you had before. And, in all honesty, like, it looks different for everybody in terms of, like, the journey to get to that point, but you've done a phenomenal job in getting to that point. And clearly it was not always easy, and many times it was rough to even get to the point where you were ready to look at things differently.

Kristy Wenz 12:57

Exactly. Yeah, it's a mind shift. I mean, you really have to be ready to kind of change the way you think about things in a lot of respects. And that's not easy to do, definitely not easy to do.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:09

What do you think was the hardest part for you to have that mind shift, or what do you think was the element that was the most impactful, but maybe difficult for you in terms of what that mind shift actually looked like for you?

Kristy Wenz 13:26

I think the hardest part was convincing myself that I could do it, you know, and that I was smart enough to do it, and that I was capable enough to do it, because I had been doing the same thing for so long, I had this doubt that I would be taken seriously in a different industry, or kind of, because it really was an industry shift for me. So I was very scared about being taken seriously. And are they just going to think I am just some nut that just wants to do this just because, and I have no experience, and it didn't... That was the biggest shift, I think, in my mind that I had to, and going through the program, it really helped me to kind of outline all the accomplishments and all the things that I have done, and look at them in different ways that they don't just, I think, it was in the... I don't know which step it was, but where you have to list out all the things you've done, and then it wasn't just about stating your responsibility, but as a result of that responsibility, what came from that, what successes did you create, what impact did you have? Once I started to draw all that out, it was really kind of able to see, well, I could apply that to all these other different industries as well. It's not just this industry, and I actually have done a lot of things, and once I started to put it all down, it really kind of helped me to see that, yeah, I do have value, and can bring value to a new company in a new industry, that I have ideas and intelligence and thoughts, and I can apply it all somewhere else. But I think it was just getting over that fear of doing something different and doing something out of my routine, and that's something I had normally done or even thought about doing. So getting over that fear was probably the biggest shift I had to make. And, you know, I remember going through it, when we had to write what's going to be the thing that derails you through this process, I knew it was going to be fear. At some point that was going to get me, and it did. There was probably a good three or four week period where I really just kind of avoided the program altogether. It was like, "Nope, I don't know what's going to happen." And just kind of started to go in that stop mode again. And had a call with my coach, and after I hung up the call, it was like, I just felt that energy and excitement again. It was like, "Nope, I got to keep moving." Like, I just have to keep the momentum going. It's when I slow down that the fears can start taking over my thoughts. I just have to keep going. And I did. And it was shortly after that, everything else manifested– the job offer and all this stuff, and it all came together very quickly after that. But again, those starts and stops and the fear can just really start to get into the thoughts and into the mindset when you're not moving forward, when you're slowed down, it's easy for that to kind of take over and fill you with the self doubt again.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:06

What you just said, I don't know if people, as they hear that, will realize how meaningful and impactful that actually is. And I just want to take a moment and repeat it because that's one of the things as we delve into the science behind this stuff that causes people to propel themselves forward and actually do things that they previously thought were impossible. And one of the things that you just said was it was continuously moving forward and rolling forward that allowed you to move past the fear. And we talk a lot behind the scenes on our talent team about how do we help people build momentum, and how do we get rid of all the things that stop them from building that momentum. Because momentum is the surest way to allow you to move past fear, but it is also, when it stops, the surest way to allow those fears to creep back in. And it sounds so simple, and certainly there's more to it than just that, but it's one big element that we've seen as people feel like they're moving forward and are actually taking steps forward, even if it's small, and creating that moment then all of a sudden, yeah, not all of a sudden, but it gets you there.

Kristy Wenz 17:18

Right. Yeah, one way or there. It may not be a straight road, but it's certainly going to move you. When I read something somewhere at some point in all my research, and it was something about, you know, you can't catch the wind until you hoist the sail. And that just stuck with me, like, I've got to have my sail up so that I can catch it. And if I have to, no matter how small the step, I have to keep doing things every day, whether it's just updating my LinkedIn or contacting somebody that I worked with a long time ago that I can reach out to and connect with again, and just all those little steps, just even if it was just one thing a day to be able to kind of just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving. And there are days that was hard. There were days, you know, you were faced with rejection, and it made me want to go backwards, like, you know, somebody would say, "No, I don't want to talk to you about that." And you can't take it personally, but it's hard not to. And so those types of things are in there too. So if it's hard, you need to say, "Okay, no, but this other one works, and so I'm just going to keep moving." It's not a straight line, and it's not easy, and you do face those rejections and those moments that don't make you feel good. But I was a big believer in celebrating every little, small victory no matter how small it was. Even if it was just calling someone I was scared to call, like, that was a celebration, because I picked up the phone and I did it. So I made sure to kind of reward myself along the way for the little steps too, because it just it made a difference and kind of reinforced the positive things that I was doing.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:48

What did you do to reward yourself? Give me a couple examples of what you would do, big or small, to reward yourself. Because I think that's important. A lot of people don't think about that being a vital part of the process.

Kristy Wenz 19:01

Oh, exactly. Typically, it would involve opening a good bottle of wine. Usually the ones that we'd reserve for special occasions. It would be like, "This is a special occasion. I'm going to do it." Going for a massage, going to a spa, just little things I could do that way, even just getting outside for a walk in the middle of the day just to, you know, if it was sunny outside, and just go be in the sun. So anythings that I would enjoy that would make me happy, that I normally wouldn't take the time to do, because I'd be so obsessed on trying to find what I wanted to do, or getting lost in it, and just kind of taking a few moments to allow myself to do something I really like and enjoy the moment. So it was a lot of a combination, a lot of different things, but I would say, the most most common was digging into our wine cellar from our trip to Europe and all the bottles that we had saved, and that was a lot of fun to kind of go through along the way as well.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:48

Well, I am a fan of that type of celebration. Similarly.

Kristy Wenz 19:55

Yep. And I think my husband enjoyed it. He was along for the ride. He wasn't planning about opening those bottles.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:01

Another bottle? Well, okay.

Kristy Wenz 20:05

Every success is worth it. Definitely worth it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:09

Oh, that's fantastic. So I'm curious, through this entire journey, I would love to talk to you about as you started getting into really, well, let's back up for a second. You came back from your sabbatical knowing a few of the elements that you wanted to carry forward with you into your next role. And I think it's important distinction here because just like you said earlier, like you stayed a long period of time because you didn't want to give up that flexibility. But when we work with people, we think about it through a different mindset, we're thinking about it as, how do we carry forward the things that we want to keep with us, like that flexibility, and then how do we bring into it those other things that were missing in one way or another after we identified with them. So you came back identifying a couple of those pieces, and then did some great work to identify the other pieces that you need too. But then, once you had identified that, what did you do in order to begin to experiment with where you could create this type of career, or where you would belong?

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:11

What was one of those conversations that stood out in your mind, that you had along the way through the social Goldilocks type experimentation that was particularly helpful? And I'm going to ask you what made it so helpful?

Kristy Wenz 21:10

Good question. I kind of went down a couple different paths. At the time I was writing a monthly article for wine travelers. And so I was already kind of connected with them, and I knew that they were, you know, had a lot of things in the works, a lot of plans, and the more I would talk to them, the more I would kind of give feedback and engage with the CEO and we have a lot of great conversations. So that door was already open. However, I did not envision anything happening there other than I was just contributing articles, which I enjoyed doing. And I didn't even know if they would have any available positions, because it is a startup. It is a, you know, at the very beginning stages of being kind of the company that it is. And so I wasn't even sure what opportunities were there, if there were any, and if I would even be considered for that. So that one started more as a kind of a subconscious Goldilocks experiment, I guess. I started doing some of that with him, and then I also started doing it with some of my clients, my existing clients, and talking with them about different roles in their organizations, and talking with other people that are in communications in the industry I was currently in, and just really, kind of feeling people out and getting a sense of what's out there. I also connected with some people that really have been mentors over my career and kind of my cheerleaders, and talk with them about, you know, what are some ideas you have that maybe I haven't thought of, because there's just things out there that you don't even know exist, or maybe already have been in your consciousness. So how can you think about them if you don't know? And so in talking to other people that, you know, they would give me ideas and that I could consider. And from that, I started to pull out the ones I would get excited about, or the pieces of each of these roles that I found rewarding, or that I knew I would enjoy. And then a picture started to kind of take shape, for the first time in my life, of exactly what I wanted to do. You know, I always told my kids, "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up", but, you know, I still don't know. But going through this, I really was able to kind of create that vision of who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do, and when I would think about it, the excitement I would feel, I mean, it was just tangible. And so I knew I was on the right path, and a lot of it had to do with just kind of testing the waters and talking to lots of different people, and kind of just working through this whole process of exactly down to the minutiae of, "Do I want to commute? You know, how many hours a week do I want in the office? Is it important that I manage people? Or, you know, how am I going to work with...?" And that was actually one of the biggest concerns for me, is, can I work for someone? Being as I've had my own company for such a long time. Right? Exactly, like, am I going to be able to be an employee? Or, you know, how is that going to be to have that kind of a relationship again? So that was interesting, kind of testing all of that out. And it just really, it was a matter of going in and is this, you know, chair too big. Is this chair too, like, what's the fit for me. And, you know, I was able to really kind of define everything after that process.

Kristy Wenz 24:24

I think probably the one that had the most impact on me was with one mentor in particular, and she was a former client, and the one that I had actually gone and worked in house for a few days a week, and she had been my superior in that role, and I just really respect her. I mean, her whole career path, she has really created for herself and continually created positions for herself to get her where she is. And she is, you know, a huge champion of supporting people along the way. If you don't like your job, she wants to help you find something that you will like. So she really always had a positive, kind of inspirational effect on me. And we went to lunch one day, and I told her I had started this process, and I had no idea where it was going to go and what it was going to look like. And she just really reinforced for me, she's like, "Well, here's all the things I think you're good at. Which ones do you like?" And so we really kind of talked about that. And she just started naming all these different roles and companies, and she's like, "Have you thought about this? Or, how about that?" And so she really kind of opens my eyes to more possibilities that I hadn't even dreamed of, like, "I never thought about that." And, you know, she said, "Why don't you talk to this person?" And so she really kind of opened the door for me to see that there's a lot out there that I hadn't even given thought and just what those possibilities looked like. And she really... and she kind of pushed the momentum angle too, you know, she was like, "You know, what's your timing?" And I thought, "I don't know. We've kind of set aside a year for me to explore." And she just looked me straight in the eyes, and she said, "You do not take a year." She's like, "You don't wait that long. Just keep going. We need to do this now." I'm like, "Okay, I'll do it. I'll listen to you." And she was just, "Don't wait. Trust me, just don't wait." She's like, "You've got the momentum, go." Okay. So I left that lunch... Exactly. And I left so energized after that lunch. I think that was probably one of the most inspiring conversations that I had. Just that, "Don't wait, and here's all the things you can look at. The world's your oyster. Just go. There's a lot of opportunities out there." And she was a cheerleader through the entire process. And if I get stuck, I'd send her. And she was very open about that too. You know, "If you get stuck, shoot me a note and I'll push you." She's like, "Whatever you need, I'm here." And so that really helps. And that validation too, that what I was doing was that I wasn't crazy, that I'd get stuck, that everybody gets stuck, and that you need people in your corner to cheer you on. And it was a great conversation.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:52

That's amazing. And it becomes evident as to why that was such a helpful conversation, too, in terms of... as well as all of the challenges. And then on top of that, being able to understand some of those different places that you could be a fit. Because that's one of the things that you said you struggled with earlier, is trying to say what you do and what you have done, some of the things that you're great at and have experience in can translate into other areas. And we get so many people coming to us and asking for that exact same thing. But what people don't realize is that so much more of it that nearly every one of us realizes is actually translatable.

Kristy Wenz 27:35

Right. Yeah. Oh, exactly. And that actually just reminded me of... One of the other big things that really kind of helped propel me forward was the... At one point, we had to go and ask people in our life– colleagues, and family, and friends, and people that have managed us and that we've managed and different people to give five characteristics of what they think our strengths are. Which is a difficult thing to do to call and ask people these questions, and it's kind of embarrassing, and you feel a little, you know, like, "Oh, listen, I just hope they say nice things about me", but it was one of those things like, "Nope, just going to do it, just going to ask and see what happens." And then collecting the list of the responses and looking at it was really interesting, and eye opening. The amount of crossover, and it was from people in all areas of my life, from people that I work for, people that worked for me, you know, my family, people that I just acquaintances or had done projects for, volunteer work, the similarities that came out in all of their responses really were eye opening and things I hadn't thought of, like, things I didn't think about myself like, "Oh, really? Okay, that's an interesting." You know, like everybody talked about how approachable I am, that's, you know, came across in every single response. And I just thought there are things I wouldn't have thought on my own. It's hard to think about your positive, you know, "I know I'm a hard worker. I know I am on time and I get jobs." You know, you can think those things, but going beyond that, it's hard sometimes to think that way about yourself. So it was really interesting to see the responses. And that helped to guide to where, "Okay, where are my strengths and my passion is going to collide?" And so it was just a really interesting, I don't know, kind of path to go down and see. And it was a great way to kind of look back. And when I would get stuck to go back and look at that like, "Okay, you know, that's right. These are people in my life, think these awesome things. I can do this." And that was really encouraging part of the process, I think. As hard as it was to ask for those things, it was a really great part of the process.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:40

Well, very cool. So share with people what it is that you're getting the opportunity to do now.

Kristy Wenz 29:48

Absolutely. I am officially the chief communications officer with wine traveler.com and it's sort of a hybrid of roles. It kind of involves operations as well as kind of the Chief of Staff and Goal, and obviously the communications piece. So it's really kind of a self created role that I designed with the CEO of the company. And it's been fantastic so far. Things are going really well. I'm very excited and happy, thoroughly happy, for the first time in my career, perhaps in my life.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:20

Wow. Well, that is no small effort on your part. I know that we got to take along for the ride and participate on the journey, but let me first of all just say congratulations. Because I don't think you and I have actually talked since it has happened, other than over email.

Kristy Wenz 30:38

Exactly. The official. After I rang the bell, got to ring that awesome bell. Pretty awesome. Yay.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:44

Why was this such an exciting role for you? What about it really lined up with what you wanted? Because you did some amazing work identifying what would create an ideal career for you. But this lines up in so many different ways. So what are some of those ways?

Kristy Wenz 30:58

Oh, there's so many. I mean, it really kind of picks all my buckets. I love travel, I love wine, I like history and culture. So I knew that had to be a partner. I wanted that to be a part of whatever I did. I also needed something that was going to be flexible and allow me to work remotely, kind of on my own hours. I put in a lot of time, but it's at my schedule, which is wonderful, especially as a mom. So that was a huge piece for me. And this really allows me to do all of that. I get to write, I get to be a manager, I get to, you know, jump in with ideas. I have a seat at the table, and work with a dynamic group of people that are really amazing, and that was important to me as well, just working with like minded people, people with similar values and kind of had the same goals and missions that I did, and really everything fell into line. And I honestly did not think it was possible even six months ago.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:51

I know. That's so phenomenal. But it wasn't like prior to six months ago, and even before that, you know, this was far, far from a reality. But here's the question that I have for you. You know, since you went through such a range here of going from, "hey, I'm in the mind space where I'm not sure if I'm ever going to find this flexibility again. So I don't think I can do anything different", all the way to completely flipping it and going, "I'm going to decide what I actually want in my life, and then I'm going to go and get it", which is the polar opposite end of that. What advice would you give to other people that are maybe closer to that fear type space where they're like, "I'm not sure if I've got a great, you know, I've got... it's not what I want necessarily, but it's a good thing going for myself." What advice would you give them to move past that so that they can experience what you've experienced with being able to decide what you're going to do and go and get it?

Kristy Wenz 32:53

Oh, good question. I would say to, you know, again, celebrate those small steps. And because every door is an opportunity, every exchange is an opportunity, you know. And I look at it this and I still think about it too. There's a chance that the role I'm in now could end up not working. And that was kind of scary, too, but the process works, so I know I can do it again. And I don't want to think of anything as the end, you know, it's always a journey, it's always a process. And if this isn't the end, that's okay, still it's an experience on my journey that's going to change me and shape me and open new doors that I didn't even think were possible. So I think just really understanding that, you know, there's things out there that you don't even know are possible, until you start to take those steps. Because I seriously could not have envisioned this six months ago. You know, we had an exercise of, you know, create your perfect day. And I couldn't have envisioned this. I mean, I had ideas but I, you know, there's no way I could have made this up at that time in my head. But each small step, just really, it introduced me to another person, that introduced me to another person, or gave me an experience where I was able to say, "Oh, wow, I really enjoyed that." Or, you know, "I like doing this", and so that's interesting. And just kind of learning something from every experience, every encounter, every exchange, and looking at it, and just, you know, seeing what works and what fits, and kind of, I guess, being a serious learner along the way, it was really helpful just to remember that this is a journey, and it's not an end, You know, it's our lives, just keep moving forward. You know, I look back and I look at all the things that I've done, I couldn't have imagined any of them, really. And so just remembering that it's not a road to an end. It's just all part of the journey. I think is helpful. And I would say, just ask. Just do it. That was so counterintuitive to my own thinking at the time. I never would have just asked. You know, I can't ask for what I want. Why would I do that? If it's not available to me, why would I ask for something that's not available? And my coach just said, "Just ask. Why not just ask? What are you going to do if you don't ask?" And that kind of hit me, like, you know, "If I don't ask, it's not going to go anywhere. And if I do ask, and it doesn't go anywhere, it's still the same spot. So it's, you know, it's not going to hurt." And so it was a very big change for me to just ask, and it's been incredible. I mean, I did just ask, and it works. And there are times I ask and I get a counter response, but it's a response that you can engage with then and, you know, it starts a conversation. So it's never a bad thing to just ask. You know, hearing 'no' isn't an awful end of the road thing. It's an opportunity for conversation. It's a chance to ask questions, you know, a chance to turn it in a different direction, whatever it may be. So I think, just ask, and don't be afraid to ask. It's scary. It's terrifying because nobody likes rejection. But you know, to just be able to say it out loud and ask for what you want and not be afraid, I think, you know, once you do it a couple times, it gets a lot easier. But it's something everybody, I think, you know, if you just do it, just ask, and I think it'll it opens just so many different doors.

Scott Anthony Barlow 36:16

Most of the episodes you've heard on Happen To Your Career showcase stories of people that have taken the steps to identify and land careers that they are absolutely enamored with, that match their strengths, and are really what they want in their lives. If that's something that you're ready to begin taking steps towards, that's awesome. And we want to figure out how we can help. So here's what I would suggest. Take the next five seconds to open up your email app and email me directly. I'm gonna give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com. Just email me and put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And when you do that, I'll introduce you to someone on our team who can have a super informal conversation with and we'll figure out the very best type of help for you, whatever that looks like. And the very best way that we can support you to make it happen. So send me an email right now with 'Conversation' in the subject line.

Scott Anthony Barlow 37:09

Here's a sneak peek into what we have coming up in store for you next week.

Speaker 3 37:14

I think it's scary because the stakes are higher. Like, I was more invested. I finally found something that was fueling my passion, got me excited every day, and so to leave it was scary.

Scott Anthony Barlow 37:26

Making a career change is not a happily ever after. Even though sometimes it can look that way, going from an unenjoyable draining career to finding your ideal role can feel like the happy ending of your favorite RomCom. What they usually don't show in the movies, and what we don't often get to cover in the podcast, is the work that comes after. Learning to thrive in your ideal career often includes continually pivoting and experimenting so that you make sure that you're optimizing it in a way that aligns with your vision.

Scott Anthony Barlow 37:58

All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep and you get it automatically. Even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week, adios. I'm out.