617: I Needed a Layoff to Get Unstuck: How It Became My Career Breakthrough

Kristen Rocco 00:00

I surprised myself completely with my reaction to it because I feel like the old Kristen would have been really scared, fearful, anxious, overwhelmed, like, "Oh no, what do I do now?" But I flew. Actually the day I got laid off, the very next day, I had a family wedding in Florida that I was flying to, and so I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is great. I just got laid off, and I get to go party with all my family now. How amazing."

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:39

We've been taught that a layoff is something to fear, a career setback that leaves you scrambling for what comes next. But what if I told you that a layoff might be exactly the catalyst you need to create a career that you've wanted all along? Instead of a door closing, it's the universe kicking open the door that you've been too hesitant to walk through on your own.

Kristen Rocco 00:58

I think that it happened to me this time because, finally, my mind was open and had wanted to go in another direction, and this was like the kick in the pants to just do it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:09

That's Kristen Rocco. She'd been in PR, communications, marketing for the entirety of her career, but she was starting to feel completely burned out and no longer aligned with her role. By this time, she was pretty sick of feeling stuck. She knew deep down that a change was absolutely necessary, so we got to work with her to figure out what her next steps were. And just as she was making progress on what more fulfilling work could look like for her, she was unexpectedly laid off. Here's the interesting thing, though, because she had gotten ahead on career change work to define what she wanted, Kristen was able to look at this as an opportunity rather than a disaster. She'd already done the groundwork, and now she could fully embrace what she had built, which in this case, happened to be her very own content marketing business. In just a minute here, you're going to get to hear how Kristen got unstuck, how she figured out what she wanted to pursue next, and how she decided on her own business. Here's Kristen sharing where her career first began.

Kristen Rocco 02:10

So I started 15 years ago in PR, which is how I got my first step into this, you know, area of marketing, and I was, you know, planning and producing and helping my clients tell their stories in the press. And it was a really interesting time to start in marketing broadly and then PR, specifically, because the space was evolving in such a fast way. So when I came into PR, social media was just getting going, and so we were taking advantage of social media for business and trying to figure out how businesses could benefit from social media outreach to their potential audiences. So got, you know, my hands dirty with that. And then again, about five years later, content marketing was kind of new to the scene, and then it was like, "Oh, wow. You know, in addition to reaching out to the media with pitches and story ideas, we can actually write these stories and produce these articles for our clients, and create editorial calendars and build out, you know, all of their own media for them." So I was able to get into that kind of early on and out the gate. And so, you know, that's kind of how my career went over the first eight years. And then I decided that, you know, after I moved from New York City to Atlanta, I decided to take a break from corporate America for a while and start a new business called Love Notary, where I brought storytelling to the wedding industry and started helping engaged couples document their love stories. And so it was a really interesting business because I was able to define a new category in the wedding industry, right? There was, you know, I don't know if you're familiar with the New York Times vows section, but it was kind of like that, but bringing it to a more... to the more general market, right? Because that was kind of for fluent, elite celebrities and people to get their stories told in that way. And I just thought that it was cool to give engaged couples this legacy throughout their wedding planning process. So I did that for a couple of years full time, and then I decided again to go back into corporate America, this time really trying to focus on content marketing just because, in addition to the creativity of the storytelling, I also have a real business mindset and very strategic mindset. And so it was cool to me that I could couple the creativity with the business side of it and create these drive leads for businesses through their content marketing approaches. So that is kind of what took me through the 15 years of my career and then reached out to you all to help me think about what my next transition would be.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:20

Okay. One of the most challenging parts of a career transition is recognizing when it's time to make change. For Kristen, this realization came from a growing feeling of misalignment with her work environment, not the work itself, but the culture and structure around it. Her story shows that sometimes it's not about changing what you do, but about how and where you do it. By the way, this is something I've noticed repeatedly in high performers, they often love their actual work, but hate the environment or structure or something else about it.

Kristen Rocco 05:53

Yeah, I think it was a particular event over time. In my last job, I started to feel really out of alignment with, not the role–I loved what I was doing. Of course, you can see I'm very passionate about my space, content marketing and storytelling, but the way in which we operated as a team felt very out of alignment with how I wanted to do my work. And that took a while to come to a realization that it wasn't me that didn't fit into that equation, that company didn't fit into my equation. If that makes sense. I think I took a lot of... it took me a while to depersonalize it from, you know, "Oh, this is me. I just need to find how I can fit in and get it right." Versus, like, "No, I'm never gonna get it right. You know, this isn't the right environment for me." And so that's kind of what led me to Happen To Your Career, and I did a lot more discovery around those themes while I was, you know, doing the coaching, but initially, it was because I felt very out of alignment with my role and the team, I guess. I mean, I think it was feeling demoralized on a day to day basis. I think it came down to healing. But if I were to think about it from more tactical points, I think I had a lack of control over my calendar. There were meetings, six hours a day, that, you know, people just plopped on my calendar. Or, you know, and I can't shut all responsibility, or I would need to have meetings because we had, you know, so many things to do that were all conflicting priorities that needed to be done at once, or at, you know, in relatively the same amount of time. And so we just needed to get the work done, and it caused a lot of overwhelm and, you know, locked up my calendar so that I spent the majority of my days in meetings and not having enough focus time to complete my actual work. And I think, you know, that day after day after day causes burnout, and then also not, you know, I think that culture plays into it a lot, too. And I think that the culture that was at this organization was a very challenging culture, not necessarily a culture of praise and complementary culture. And for me, I have thick skin. I worked in PR for eight years, and had to get rejections almost every single day, multiple times a day, so that wasn't the case. But, you know, everybody needs a sense that they're moving in the right direction and they're doing great things, otherwise, they're just not going to feel satisfied in their job. And this culture didn't allow for me to feel like I was recognized for my best work. And so the combination of those things made me know that I needed to make a switch.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:11

When you're stuck in a role that's draining you, it can be very difficult to imagine something better. And this, by the way, is what we call the merry go round of repetitive despair. In Kristen's case, her experience perfectly demonstrates how burnout and daily overwhelm can shut down your ability to dream and completely stop your ability to be curious about future possibilities. You get so focused on surviving each day that you just can't see beyond it. You can't imagine something beyond it. Breaking through this mental block is often the first hurdle in what we call intentional career change.

Kristen Rocco 09:45

Yeah, I think I've said this a couple times, too, in a variety of different situations. I think that my brain was so locked into a daily, just like, demoralized capacity, if that makes sense. And so seeing opportunity was challenging initially, and understanding what possibilities was challenging initially. Being curious, my coach would ask me, "What are you curious about?" And I remember thinking, "I don't know. I don't know what I'm curious about." Because I was just so focused on getting through every day and then trying to, you know, relax and power myself up for the next day that I really didn't spend enough time thinking about all of those other things, right? So those were some challenges initially, is just getting out of my own way, basically, and removing the blockers of what I was currently sludging through, because it did feel like a sludge to see that a brighter possibility on the other side of it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:04

Okay, Kristen did a great job here. Because once she began breaking free from the daily grind mentality, she started focusing on how she wanted to feel in her work, rather than just what title or role or occupation she wanted. This shift in perspective from job titles to desired experiences is often a crucial turning point in creating truly fulfilling work. It also illustrates a misconception that we see all the time. People will often come to us thinking that they need to figure out what job title they want next, but what they really need is to understand what experience they want to have.

Kristen Rocco 11:39

Yeah, so initially, I was following the modules, you know, and going through the progression to get to the ideal career profile. And I was serious about that, right? Like it wasn't just something that I was trying to get through. I was actually putting time, attention, and detail into those questions and trying to think about what I wanted to be doing and how I wanted to approach the work. And I'll say that I didn't necessarily know at the time that I wanted to do what I'm doing now, which is consulting, but I knew how I wanted to feel, right? That was a big factor in trying to figure out the next step. And then I think what I did was I tried to think about how I wanted to feel on a day to day basis, and connect that to organizations that could help me feel that way. And so, you know, looking for organizations that publicly, I guess, had a great culture, and then privately trying to suss out whether that was true. And then, you know, really thinking when I was in interview processes, interviewing them as much as they were interviewing me to make sure that I wasn't, you know, that the culture was going to be really aligned with who I am. Again, that's what I felt out of alignment at my other job. Or maybe I never felt out of alignment with it, which is more than just not knowing what I was getting into when I joined, initially. And, you know, some things changed along the way as well. So that all kind of plays in as well. But so the, you know, thinking about how I wanted to feel, and thinking about culture fit that would be the right place for me, and then also I was like, "Maybe I want to work for a mission driven company, or something that was more connected to a bigger... something that had a little bit bigger meaning and purpose than the organization that I was in at the time." And so that's how I started, and then, you know, I think once I started answering those questions and putting more focus and energy into it, I was able to kind of identify companies and other things that way.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:05

Visualization is a powerful tool that you've probably heard–athletes use, Olympians, people at the top of their game, CEOs, in many different ways. What we don't talk about is it's also very useful for defining the career and life that you want to build by creating a detailed picture of what your ideal work day, work week, looks like. You can identify patterns. You can identify themes that point to what truly matters to you. In order to create clarity, you must declare your priorities. You can't find clarity like it's something just hiding under the couch. And Kristen's experience with this exercise helped reveal her desire for meaningful connection and empowering others. And this is exactly the kind of insight that helps you move from, "I don't really know what I want", to a very clear vision that you can act on. It's not always about the vision itself. It's about the act of going through and practicing defining the vision.

Kristen Rocco 15:05

But I also then, you know, started to... The visioning worksheet really sticks out in my brain, actually, because it was all about, you know, "What do you envision your typical day to be like?" And again, I gotta tell you, I was like, "Oh man, I haven't thought about this in so long or in this way that what is even possible, you know? When I close my eyes to imagine it, what would I even think?" But I was able to get through that and really come up with something that I thought would really fulfill me. And so, you know, I talked about in there, "I would like to have a variety of conversations with interesting people, and be able to share my insights with them, and have them share their insights with me, so that we can collaboratively bring more into the world, you know, more learnings, more opportunity into the world to help educate people and help them along on their journeys." And I said, "I wanted to work with a variety of different types of people", and I can't remember all the specifics in there, but basically, it was a lot of connecting with people. It was a lot of empowerment messaging and just inspiring people as well. And so then that helped me think a little bit more about myself, I suppose, and what my values are. And my coach helped me too, right? She, you know, looked at the visioning statement, pointed out some of the themes, yeah, she pointed out some of the themes to help reflect that to me what I was saying, like, "Oh, this to me, sounds like you, you know, want to blah, blah, blah." And so I was like, "Oh, yeah, that really does resonate. I love how you sum that up. That speaks to me." And then we talked about like, "Okay, well, what are my values?" And getting more into the personal side of things and less on the business side of things, to kind of help bridge both of them together. And so then through that process, I was able to make a lot of progress.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:22

Okay, so this is where the unexpected twist came in. Just as Kristen was making progress and defining her next steps, she got laid off. But rather than seeing this as a setback, she viewed it as the perfect opportunity to move forward with what she'd been preparing for. This mindset shift is what turned a potentially negative situation into a catalyst for positive change. And I've seen this pattern play out over and over again. What seems like a disaster is often the exact push people need to make the leap into something that they've been contemplating. Whatever it is. Whether it's building your own business, whether it is making a change to something else, whether it is leaving a set of people or relationships and finding the right people that you want to spend your time around. No matter what it is, it's what I call the second trigger that propels people into action when they reach their fed up point. The first trigger is realizing you're unhappy, but sometimes you need an external event to really make the career change happen.

Kristen Rocco 18:21

At the beginning of the year, in January, my first session with Phillip, he said to me, like, he's like, "As you reflect back on the year, or, you know, 2022, what would you tell yourself, you know, at the start of all of this, that you wish you would have known?" You know, something to that effect. And I said, "I would have quit my job", or something like that. So I think I spoke this layoff into existence, to be honest. But yes. I worked in a technology company, and I think, you know, kind of February was a time where there, and still there's a lot of volatility, and there's a lot of speculation on what's going to happen. And so, you know, my company did lay off some people, and I was part of that. It was the first time I had been laid off in my career. And I surprised myself completely with my reaction to it, because I feel like the old Kristen would have been really scared, fearful, anxious, overwhelmed, like, "Oh no, what do I do now?" But I flew. Actually, the day I got laid off, the very next day, I had a family wedding in Florida that I was flying to. And so I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is great. I just got laid off, and I get to go party with all my family now. How amazing." And so it was just a choice that I made to not live in that, like, quote, what I consider or how I can relate it to, like, "playing small". I'm going to embrace this, and I've done a lot of work over the last eight months to push myself and know myself better, to go into the right next fit for me, so I'm going to make a choice to not do things the old Kristen way and celebrate this that it's my, you know, it's just that push forward to the next best version of myself. And so I took the weekend dancing away at the wedding and then came back here.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:49

Rather than dwelling on the layoff and playing the victim, Kristen immediately translated her self discovery work into action, and this is exactly what separates happy high achievers from everyone else. Her quick pivot to building her own business shows the importance of being prepared mentally for a change, even if the timing isn't what she expected. Think about it, if Kristen hadn't already done the groundwork to understand what she wanted, she might have desperately jumped at the first job opportunity that came along, regardless of fit.

Kristen Rocco 21:17

And I guess five days later, when I got back, I started creating my consulting website and putting together, you know, not necessarily business plan, but my thought processes on how I was going to go to market with a new content marketing consulting business, which kind of comes full circle around why I now call myself a storytelling entrepreneur. Because I have weaved in and out of corporate America, but I started the Love Notary business, which is storytelling in the wedding industry. And now I'm doing my own business again, this time focused on content marketing support for businesses. And so I'm just really excited about this next chapter. But yeah, it all kind of led to an unexpected conclusion, because I didn't obviously, I wouldn't have thought that I was going to be laid off. I thought I would make the transition myself, but it was honestly probably the kick in the pants I needed. Because I don't know... I was still very scared to quit myself without having complete confidence and what the next step looked like for me. And now I didn't have a choice. I had to get this website stood up, put thought process into how he's going to deliver services to my clients, and get the word out. And I'll say that I launched my business about a month after I was laid off, and after that, I was fortunate enough to real and great and I can't be more grateful for the people who showed up for me and my network, but I got a lot of referrals, and I now have a couple of clients that I'm working with full time. So I'm really excited about it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:04

Okay, if you're listening to this podcast and listen to more than one episode, I'm sure you already know that mindset dramatically impacts our ability to navigate transitions. In Kristen's case, her shift from scarcity to abundance thinking enabled her to see possibilities rather than problems, which, turns out, was crucial for a successful pivot here.

Kristen Rocco 23:24

I want to say, like going back to my strengths, like, I'm an achiever. I'm going to do all the work, and I'm going to put in all the activities, and so what first had to happen for me to be able to do what I did was a mindset shift. And so I know, you know, we talked about it in terms of a choice that I made to be optimistic, to know that there were possibilities out there, to not let overwhelm and fear get in my way. And that was a really important shift for me. I really had previously, you know, kind of operated out of a scarcity mindset, and I was able to finally make an adjustment to an abundance mindset. And so that was really important for me, but my achiever mode and my ability to just keep pushing and excelling, got me to this place where, "Okay, I now have no work to return to tomorrow, so I have to guide what I'm going to do." And I said to myself, "I could submit resumes every day, or I could try to get new business and submit proposals as frequently as I could, right? As much as I could generate interest." And so I chose to count on myself and go all in on me this time around, and not leave the decision making in the hands of a recruiter or a hiring manager, but rely on the fact that I've been doing this for 15 years and I know what I'm talking about, and I deliver great value to all of my clients I've had previously all the organizations I've been in, and do it for myself. And so that's what I chose this time around, to submit proposals.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:33

Running your own business comes with a, shall we say, unique set of uncertainties. I know this firsthand, not just from building Happen To Your Career, this is actually my fourth business, we've since started another one too. And Kristen got to learn a bit of this firsthand too. Kristen explains how she manages the inherent unpredictability of entrepreneurship by structuring her time and maintaining a positive mindset. Now these skills, of course, they're valuable for anyone navigating a career change, not just for people who want to own businesses. But what I love about Kristen's approach is that she's not just hoping things will work out. She's creating systems to ensure that they do, that's transferable everywhere. She's declaring her priorities and structuring her entire life around them. This is what happy high achievers do differently than anyone else. This is the part that allows them to be more happy more often.

Kristen Rocco 26:27

Yeah, that's a good point too, because when you are your own, you know, operating your own business, there is a lot of uncertainty, naturally, with this path. You know, I don't have the consistency of a paycheck every two weeks. These contracts will eventually come to an end, and I will be looking for new clients again. And I did need that shift in my mindset to be able to do this effectively because otherwise, you know, I could get way too knee deep or waist deep or shoulder deep into being scared of not getting new clients, to let that affect my work product with my current clients, right? Or, you know, however, that could manifest within my business and what I'm doing on a day to day basis. And so, but now I, you know, have everything sort of calendared out in terms of how I'm going to approach my time on a week to week basis. I have, you know, give a number of client hours that I need to fulfill weekly. And then I segment out, okay, you know, these are the couple of hours every week I'm putting towards new business, and I'm going to work on that, you know, this time this week. And I know I just can kind of feel it in my gut that things will work out. And even if they don't work out on my timeline, that laying those seeds always grows flowers. And so it's a matter of being patient and just continuing to plant the seeds or put one foot in front of the other to do the work that you know is going to produce the outcome that you want. So that's kind of where I am right now in terms of my mindset and approaching all of my responsibilities with, you know, as being a business owner.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:32

But here's a final question. What advice does Kristen have for anyone who is currently feeling stuck in their career?

Kristen Rocco 28:41

I think that the word... There's two words that come to mind for me when you ask me that question. The first word is stuck. I totally know how this person feels. They feel stuck in their current situation and unsure about how to get out of their situation. And then the other thing that's coming up for me is, recognizing that feeling is important, but also knowing that you can unstuck yourself by doing the work. And the work looks a lot like, you know, what we do in the program. But there's also another... There's another way that I look at this, and I've learned this through coaching as well. That’s the how, right? So, like, "How do I get to the next step? How do I find the job? How do I reach out to that recruiter?" You know, whatever the 'how' is, the 'how' isn't as important as the 'who', which is, I know what you coach through the program, right? And which is, it's all about reaching out to people to learn more and find out more about what they do, and making you know, expanding your network and making connections with people, so you can start evaluating these things. But the reward really is in the 'who', because that's how the 'how' comes. And so, you know, these people have... I just recommend that people think about, not about the process of the 'how', but who can they meet that is going to open their eyes up to what the possibility is. And so I think that my advice is focused on meeting people, asking a lot of questions, and building your connections, because it's the 'who' that's going to help you get from where you are today to where you want to go in the future.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:41

Hey, if you want support helping build the life that you actually want to and figuring out how work fits within that for you, that's what we do. It's what we do here every day. We can help you figure out what extraordinary looks like, not just what society tells you it should be. So, if you're feeling stuck in your current role, or you have a great situation, but you want to be able to be prepared for the future, and you're thinking way ahead, either way, we're here to help. Email me, Scott@happentoyourcareer.com, put 'Conversation' in the subject line. I'll connect you with the right people on our team who can help with your exact situation. Again, Scott@happentoyourcareer.com, drop me an email.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:18

Here's what's coming up right here on Happen To Your Career next week.

Speaker 3 31:21

I just didn't have the autonomy that I know I needed, in retrospect, to thrive. So after a year in, I said, "That's it." They were shocked, but I was not, because I was actually, between you and I, was miserable because I wasn't enjoying it. I was busy. But for me, the work was not... it wasn't meaningful.