Switching Industries Without Compromising Your Career’s Trajectory

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU THOUGHT TO YOURSELF WHILE SITTING AT YOUR DESK, “IS THIS REALLY IT?”

Maybe you really enjoyed your job when you started…four years ago. But now, you stroll into work each morning disengaged and hopeless. You wonder if there’s anything else out there that will make you feel as excited as you were in the beginning.

If you’re nodding your head in agreement to the scenario above–trust me, you’re not alone. In my observation (from HR days) about 50% of people go through this exact cycle during their first, or second or even third jobs.

Because, when we’re in college and told to choose a major, we go with what we’re good at. If we like math, we choose to major in statistics or engineering. If our parents were doctors, we might go on the pre-med track. There isn’t much self-reflection or foresight that goes into selecting the path that launches our career. Especially not our dream career.

Which is why most of the time, we end up on this career cycle: excited-learning stops-feels stuck.

We end up in careers that either: (a) aren’t a good fit, or (b) don’t have a continuous learning loop.

And, then–most importantly–we don’t know how to fix it when we hit the “feeling stuck” phase. We scroll through job descriptions online, and mope to friends about how bored/unhappy/sad we are about our careers.

LAURA’S STORY: FROM FOUR PROMOTIONS TO FAKE SMILES

Laura, one of our rockstar Career Change Bootcamp Graduates and HTYC Podcast guest this week, experienced a similar career trajectory before she landed her dream career just a few weeks ago.

Growing up, Laura always knew that she was good at math. Coming from a family of engineers, she decided to follow a similar path. After college graduation, she was unsure about what she wanted her career path to be–like many early 20-somethings. So, she became an engineering consultant.

But, Laura always knew something wasn’t quite right.

A few years after she started her career, Laura went back to school again and got her Masters Degree with the sole intention of finding a career that fit her values. And, she did. She landed an awesome job as an environmental sustainability consultant at an innovative company.

For a while, it seems like she had it made.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF PRETENDING TO BE PASSIONATE AT WORK?

For me if I’m not learning I’m not engaged. I work with a lot of people who are passionate and I almost found myself having to pretend to be passionate when I wasn’t really feeling it, which was hard on me.

Fast forward eight and a half years later, and Laura found herself pasting on a fake smile each day, forcing herself to act excited about her work. She didn’t want to let down her direct reports (now 10 of them!), but her constant need to “fake happiness” was taking a toll on the rest of her life.

It took Laura three years (three whole years!) to finally come to terms with the fact that she needed to leave her job.

And, do you know why Laura sacrificed her happiness each day staying in a job she knew she didn’t like?

Because, she felt stuck.

Even though Laura had a stellar resume and an extremely strong work ethic, she felt like she wasn’t smart or experienced enough to find a new role.  On the podcast, Laura talks about the toll that “pretending to be passionate” at work had on her confidence levels.

When you are in a spot where you are unhappy and have been for awhile you lose some of your confidence of everything you’ve accomplished. From the outside someone looking at my resume would be impressed but I hated it. I wasn’t proud of anything I’d been doing because I wasn’t happy doing it.

Because, Laura’s mind kept convincing her that she wasn’t good enough; that she was going to stay in this job forever. Not only does it drain your energy to “pretend to be passionate” at work, but it actually tricks the mind into thinking that you’re not good enough for another role.

It made Laura ask that ill-fated question: “Is this really all that I have to look forward to in a career?”

GETTING YOUR CAREER CONFIDENCE STARTS WITH A LOT OF SELF-REFLECTION

When Laura first found us at Happen to Your Career, she had already taken action to start looking outside of herself for a new job by going to a career coach. Coincidentally, on her walk home from that session she found our podcast, and “binge-listened for about a week!”

At that time, Laura realized that she didn’t need to go through this process alone.

The thing that stuck was it was the first time I heard there were tools and processes to help me figure this out. I didn’t have to just look at job postings but I could do other types of work to think about what I wanted to do next.

That was in May of 2017. Seven months later, and she found her dream career!

Woah–not so fast though. Laura went through a lot of self-reflection, and dug deep to understand what that next step should be. During this process, Laura also began to get feedback, and collect “mini-wins” from her coaches, her friends, and many others to help rebuilt her identity.

At the beginning of her coaching sessions, Laura wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to do in her next role. But, as she began to complete her self-assessment projects, she couldn’t contain her excitement. Laura couldn’t stop talking about how much fun she had completing these self-assessments (her husband might have gotten a crash course or two!).  She kept this idea in the back of her mind, but still had a lot of searching to do.

Interestingly, Laura already knew what kind of culture she wanted in a company. She loved having the flexibility of wearing jeans and working from home when she wanted to. Even more importantly, she knew that the office should have a ping-pong table in it–for what it represented about the office culture.

But, from her experience in her last job Laura knew that a cultural-fit wasn’t enough. She had to find the right role, not just the right people.

That’s where she kept getting stuck. She felt naive about all the types of jobs that were out there.

FINDING THE RIGHT NEXT STEP IS NOT A CHECK-THE-BOX EXERCISE

One of the first things Laura did to understand all the job opportunities she could have was to hold informational interviews.

She scheduled dozens of interviews with people in and out of her network–which was a growing experience in itself. Laura admits that this was one of the most challenging, but rewarding, parts of her coaching experience. She’s not necessarily a self-proclaimed extrovert. But hey, why not?

Laura met with tons of people who helped her understand what she did, and didn’t want in a role. Some of those conversations could have opened the door to a job. But, while it was tempting, Laura said no when she didn’t feel it was exactly right.

Until finally one day–she found it.

TO SECURE THAT DREAM JOB, YOU HAVE TO BE AUTHENTICALLY YOU

Laura learned quickly that she loves to prepare. For her informal interviews alone, she would do research and write prep questions for almost two hours each time!

But, when she finally found the perfect job opportunity, she realized that she just had to be herself.

With the help of her career coach, Lisa Lewis, Laura practiced some mock interviews and found that her answers sounded good on paper, but “boring” during the actual interview. So, she stopped preparing as intensely as she might have, and got herself in the zone.

It’s less important that you know how to answer a million behavior questions but get yourself in a headspace to be yourself and be confident in those conversations.

Laura ended up securing her dream job. But, not only that–she has completely transformed her mindset from disengaged and hopeless to optimistic and confident. Laura is thriving in her career, as a new mom, and constantly achieving new goals (heck yes, Yosemite!).

Most importantly, Laura’s realized that she didn’t have to go through this process alone. Here’s her last piece of advice for anyone else who might be in her shoes from a few months ago:

Particularly as someone who has been successful it was hard for me to say I could not do this by myself. I’m a smart person I should be able to figure this out. As soon as I had my first career coaching experience it completely turned around my approach to find a new job. It completely gave me the power back and the tools I needed. If you know exactly what you want to do, you probably aren’t listening to this podcast, but if you don’t know there are a lot of tools, and resources, and people out there that can help you. For me that made all the difference.

Laura Morrison 00:03
It took me a few months to look for outside help. And that was the thing that I needed. I think, particularly as someone who has been successful, it's hard to admit to myself, it was hard for me to say I couldn't do it by myself. You know, I'm smart person, I should be able to figure this out. But it completely turned around my approach to finding a new job.

Introduction 00:30
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:48
This is Scott Anthony Barlow, and you are listening to Happen To Your Career, the show that helps you figure out what work fits you by exploring other stories. Now we can bring out all kinds of experts like Kathy Fettke, who helps people create space for themselves and make passive income, or people that have pretty amazing stories like Jenny, who went through our CCB program, and let go of other people's expectations to reframe her career search for a job she wanted. These are people that are just like you, only they've gone from where they are, to what they really want to be doing. And today, we get to talk to Laura Morrison, another person who was an alumni of our Career Change Bootcamp program, and take a listen to what she does right now.

Laura Morrison 01:37
Yeah, so I'm really excited on Monday, actually. I'm starting a new role in Product Management at a company called the Predictive Index. And they do behavioral assessments with the goal of hiring the right people, and in their words, inspiring them to greatness. And what I'm really excited about that is, you know, someone like myself, who wasn't engaged as an employee, means I understand that pain. And so what I'm going to be doing now is actually helping people and companies inspire their employees through different tools and understanding more about the people. And that's really exciting for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:15
As you listen to this conversation with Laura, you're gonna find that we get pretty deep into how you can find your strengths, how you can learn about new career opportunities, and even options for your career, and even build relationships so that you can land, not just a job, not just even your dream job, but really a job that truly fits at a company that you're excited about. And I think you're gonna love that. Also, see how you getting outside help can often lead to your aha moments or your big breakthroughs and what that actually takes. And then you can learn that, as it turns out, you're not alone in your career change process, and how you can take some next steps there. All of these fundamentals that you can learn about yourself, and what you want in your life can not only help you land that next job and the role that actually fits, but also help you make pretty large changes for yourself, your family, and every everyone in your life in the future. It's pretty cool. So take a listen for all that plus more. You're also going to hear about a different way that you probably have heard of to approach the interview process that is much more genuine, than all of those, all the things that you think you're supposed to do in an interview, you'll see what I mean, as you listen.

Laura Morrison 03:33
I think this is a struggle for a lot of people. But you know, in high school, you have to figure out what you're going to major in, in college. And you don't really understand what any of that means. And so, for me, I was good at math, and I had some engineers in the family. So I went into engineering. And I did fine, but it always felt a little off to me and I couldn't quite figure out why. And I couldn't figure out what else I should be doing. So I stuck with it. And so I had, you know, college degree, master's degree, a few years in the work world in engineering consulting. And the whole time never really felt like it was a good fit for me. And so, you know, my first career pivot was actually into sustainability consulting. After a few years working, I went back to grad school with the goal of pivoting, and I landed myself at a really great company that I was at for eight and a half years. And I was excited about it, because sustainability is forward looking. So it was a startup feel company, which I was looking for. And I had a lot of freedom to grow really quickly. And so for a while, that felt like a good fit, and it felt like something I could be passionate about. And then over time, it just wasn't anymore. But again, I was in the same position that I had had kind of in college and beyond where I didn't know what else to do. And so I just kind of stuck with it kind of only half thinking about what else I could be doing.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:06
So I'm super curious about, first of all, what do you feel like changed? Because I mean, you were excited about at one point.

Laura Morrison 05:15
Yeah. I think in the beginning, a new challenge is always exciting. And then I think, in that eight and a half years, I have four different roles. And the new challenges and the new role were exciting. But the length of excitement I had from just learning something new kept getting shorter and shorter. So I think that's one thing that changed. And then by the end, I didn't actually feel like I was learning that much anymore. And for me, that if I'm not learning, I'm not engaged. And I work with a lot of people who are really passionate, and I almost found myself having to pretend to be passionate, when I wasn't really feeling it. So that was pretty hard on me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:00
That's interesting. What was that, like? Clearly, it was difficult, but feeling like you had to pretend to be passionate.

Laura Morrison 06:12
Yeah, it was tough. You know, by the end of this past role, I had 10 people reporting to me, a lot of them were early in their career. And I wanted to do a good job of inspiring them. But because I wasn't inspired myself, it made me feel like I was being inauthentic to kind of hide the part of myself that wasn't engaged, that wasn't super passionate about our work anymore. And so it just, it basically zapped all my energy, where I would kind of put on this kind of extroverted, fake smile at work every day, and then come home and be unhappy.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:54
Do you remember when you started to realize that?

Laura Morrison 06:58
Oh, I hate to admit this, but it was probably three years ago. And, you know, at the time, our company was going through some management changes. And, you know, there are other life things going on, you know, I was trying to start a family. And all that combined was just exhausting. And so I think I knew that it wasn't a good fit. And I've known that for a long time. But again, without knowing what to do next, or even how to think about what to do next, I just felt really stuck.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:30
That is... I think that is one of the biggest problems that many people have, especially high achieving people that had gotten into a role similar to you where they were excited about at one point, and they have lots of responsibilities. And you know, something's changed along the way. But you don't necessarily know what to do next. What were some of the things that you considered or tried? Because you've been thinking about this for years. About making a change and doing something, but it sounds like kept coming back to that point, where not entirely sure what to do next. So what were some of the things that you considered or thought about or tried along the way?

Laura Morrison 08:18
Yeah, you know, it's, a lot of it was staying within the sustainability field. It took me probably a couple years of passive looking and talking to people to figure out that there weren't roles in that field that I was interested in. So I looked at, you know, what does it mean to do my role, but not as a consultant, but embedded within a product organization, for instance. And I talked to, you know, I would go to sustainability, networking events and talk to people in those roles, and I just wasn't getting the excitement. I think it excited me for a little bit. And then a lot of the reason that didn't work is a lot of those kind of product manufacturing companies aren't based in Boston, and I wanted to be in Boston, so it kind of took a lot opportunity off the table. And I guess the other thing I tried to do is look internally. So at my own company, we do sell, or my old company, I guess, we do sell software. And I talked to a bunch of people for a couple years about product management in the software that we sell. So that's basically the role I'm taking in a new company, but I was talking about doing it at my old company. And, you know, the team, the software team was in Germany, so and it was also having a lot of trouble. So it just never really worked out. You know, I talked about doing more marketing at my old company, and again, the marketing team was having some struggles. So it wasn't, it really wasn't gonna work out. I think maybe if I had stayed another year, I could have pivoted in my existing organization into one of those roles. But, you know, at that point I was ready to actually just kind of make the jump and leave the company.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:07
What made you feel ready to be able to make the jump? And what actually took place? Was it just the combination of all those conversations and realizing, "hey, it's not gonna happen here."? Or was it something else? What made you feel like, "hey, at that point, I was just ready to leave."

Laura Morrison 10:26
You know, I think what... I think I knew I was ready to leave for a long time. But what actually made me take the steps to leave is a little bit different. And so, you know, I was on maternity leave for seven, eight months or so. And I met a lot of working moms as part of that, and had a lot of career conversations with them. And one of them recommended to me a career coach who was based in Boston, who's an older woman who'd been working at Radcliffe for, you know, years and years, and had her own private practice. And I actually finally decided to kind of invest in career coaching. And so I had one session with this woman, and I had like a mile and a half walk home. And the thing that really stuck with me is that it was the first time I'd ever heard that there were tools and processes to help me figure this out, that I didn't have to just think about it and look at job postings, but that I could do other types of work to think about what I wanted to do next. And she said something to me about, I can't recommend a book for you, it's very personal. But find a book you want to read about career change. And that's your first bit of homework. And my reaction was, I don't like reading, really. But I love podcasts. And I had this mile and a half walk home where I was really excited. And I found your podcast. And so I listened to it on my way home. And then I kind of binge listened to it for a week, which I think the point where we talked for the first time, and all of a sudden I heard all these stories and tools about things that I could do that didn't... it was okay that I didn't know what I wanted to do. I could still take steps to figure out what I could do next.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:07
That is interesting. You know, I didn't actually realize that's how it happened. That is fantastic. And now, not that long later, you're on the podcast. And...

Laura Morrison 12:18
Yeah, one of my personal goals.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:21
Yeah, check. Before we hit record you were talking about, you built this list of national parks that you wanted to go see, and you just basically went to Yosemite. So now you've got several things checked off the list. Way to go.

Laura Morrison 12:36
It's awesome. Thank you. Feels good.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:39
Absolutely. So I have so many questions, because I think that there's so much for other people to learn too, that are in that same space or have been in that same space where they aren't sure what to do and want to know what to do next. And you were kind enough to bring us along for the ride and allow us to sit co-pilot on this journey. And it's been a bit of whirlwind. How long did it take from when you found the podcast to accepting a job offer?

Laura Morrison 13:11
Oh, boy. Okay. I think it was probably April or May that we first talked and I accepted a job offer about a month ago. So whatever that math is...

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:25
I was trying to do the calendar math, too. Is it about...

Laura Morrison 13:30
Six to nine months probably, right?

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:32
Yeah. Right in seven-ish months someplace. And what... you started listening to the podcast, had this realization that hey, there are things that I can do. And then you talked to us, and you ended up joining career change boot camp, and we started getting the opportunity to be able to help you along the way. That was just the beginning. I am curious in going through this process, what were some of the apprehensions that you had, as you said about growing and figuring out, "Hey, here's what I might want to do. And then ultimately, moving through each step."

Laura Morrison 14:23
Yeah, I think, I mean, the biggest apprehension, I think, is that what you don't realize is when you're in a spot, where you're unhappy, and you've been unhappy for a while, you lose some of your confidence about everything that you've accomplished. So, you know, from the outside, someone looking at my resume would be impressed. But I was looking at it, and I hated it. Right? I wasn't proud of anything that I had been doing, because I wasn't happy doing it. And that didn't mean I didn't understand that it, there were some impressive things on there. It just didn't feel like me. And it didn't feel impressive to me, because I didn't enjoy the process of doing it. And so I think a lot of that lack of confidence is like tied into kind of the anxiety of trying to figure it out. Right? What if there is nothing for me? What if I'm always unhappy at a job? And I think there is this whole mentality out there that that's normal to kind of be unhappy in your job. And I was trying to get to the point where I was maybe resigned to that being the case. I also think, you know, in the process, I had my daughter and I took a lot of time off. And that will, you know, maybe I want to be a stay at home mom. And I quickly realized that, kudos to everyone who does, but it's not for me, I need a lot more adult conversation, a lot more intellectual stimulation from my work. And so that was like another kind of thing I explored, I guess, job I explored, that wasn't the right fit. But there's a lot of emotion tied into all of that, right? It's not just, unfortunately, it's not just the check the box exercise...

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:10
It would be so much easier for well, as it works out.

Laura Morrison 16:12
It's so much easier. Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:15
We probably wouldn't have this podcast if it was as simple as that.

Laura Morrison 16:18
That's right. So that was a big apprehension for me. Going through the course, you know, the first few weeks are a lot about self reflection. And I love that. And actually, part of the funny story about my new job is that as I was doing strengthsfinder, in Career Change Bootcamp, I was kind of talking my husband's ear off about how I loved behavioral assessments and how I wish I could talk about them all day. And, man, I wish that was a job. And then you know, a few months later, I found basically that job, which is pretty awesome. But then, you know, you get into the part where you really have to be vulnerable. And you have to kind of go and talk to people and try to meet new people. And there was definitely a lot of apprehension around that as well.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:04
So it's, first of all, I love and I've heard variations of that story so many times, and it just makes me so happy that we get to be a part of any of those stories where in this case, you, at one point, were talking your husband's ear off about, "Hey, I just love this self assessment type thing. And it would be super cool if I could do something like this and be able to be immersed in this world all day." And then now you're going to be and absolutely love that. And I'm so proud of you for going from that end to the completely opposite end. Because that's not an easy thing to do as we're going to talk about. That said, what was most difficult as you started flipping from the internal and reflection side, which is often the way that we'll work with our students and clients, we will go through those internal side and really get the best hypothesis of what's going to be great for you. But then at some point you have to flip into, okay, how does this match up with the rest of the world? As you were going through that section, what was hardest for you?

Laura Morrison 18:25
You know, I think I had this idea of the company culture I wanted, right? I'm a casual person. I like wearing jeans to work. I like flexible hours and you know, wanted a ping pong table in my office, which is just kind of a funny indication of the type of culture I was looking for, right. And... but I didn't know what work I wanted to do, right? So it's great to have a good company culture and I had that before, but it's not enough because I wanted to work that was actually exciting to me as well. So that was the hardest part is to think about the work, but also as you and Lisa would keep pointing out as, figure out the work later, like you just have to start somewhere, start talking to people, start learning about what other people do. And I think for me a huge mental barrier, as well is that I felt really naive about what type of jobs are out there. And I felt insecure about how little I knew about what other job opportunities were out there. And so the process of having to talk to people about what they do and what it actually means, as well as continuing to listen to the podcasts where people were sharing stories about the work they do. That step in itself just really helped me understand what opportunities there were, even though some of them I dismissed pretty quickly. Yeah. Does that answer your question?

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:50
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's a common thing. And I've heard that quite a bit of feeling naive about what types of jobs are out there. And I think that, I don't think anybody knows all the types of jobs that are out there. We've got exposure to a whole bunch of them just because of the nature of the type of work that we do. But...

Laura Morrison 20:15
I've got to say, Scott, maybe you know all the jobs that are out there.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:18
Not all the jobs but...

Laura Morrison 20:19
Yeah, exactly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:22
No, it would be... that even might be easier if we did to help people in that way. But if only there was a list, that's another thing. If only there was a list, I could just go through and pick and it isn't that easy, because even if we knew all the types of jobs, there's still other elements and other variables that come into play. And it becomes this somewhat complex problem of picking out the variables that are most useful and relatable and relevant to you and how you work. And I'm curious, what was it about this process of going and talking to people because from getting to know you just a little bit through the program and having chatted a couple of times, and having had the pleasure of helping you negotiate. It seems like you benefit a lot from conversation.

Laura Morrison 21:16
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I think, you know, one of the, I'll go back to that kind of first session I had with this woman who's local to Boston, this career coach, and her approach was a bit different than yours. And I didn't love it, because she wanted me to read a book about each career option, which as I mentioned, not the best way for me to learn, it also is a big time commitment. And she wanted me to do that before I talked to anyone, because I, you know, when you talk to people, you're taking up some of their time, and you want to be knowledgeable about what you're asking. So that didn't feel great for me, of course, I could have done it. But I wasn't excited about it. But I know that I learn best by talking to people. And the opportunity to talk to all these people in different roles, added a ton of value to me, I think, one I got to see a little bit about company culture, depending on if people were willing to talk to me or not, which is kind of a funny thing. And I also will, now always talk to someone who's looking and wants to talk to me, right?

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:25
It changes that perspective, doesn't it?

Laura Morrison 22:26
It does. Yeah, and I was actually hiring someone as I was looking to be hired right in my current role. And so it put a different lens on it. But, you know, I think I was really nervous about talking to people about making sure that I had something intelligent to say or had good questions to ask. So I did a lot of preparation, which is kind of my style to over prepare, when I'm anxious about something. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:53
What type of preparation would you do or you're gonna...

Laura Morrison 22:55
Yeah, well, I'd looked at their LinkedIn profile. And I would come up with a list of questions that I wanted to talk to them about. And for people who don't know, I mean, the idea is like a 15 minute phone call, which is really not a lot of questions. But I would have probably 10 for every person I talked to, and I would try to make them personal. And I would try to make sure I knew where they went to school, what common interests we had, anything like that, that could help me relate to them. Because while I really like working with people, I have trouble with that kind of first introduction part. I get really nervous, like walking into a room and introducing myself to someone new. But if someone introduced me to that person, I'm very comfortable. So there's this kind of hurdle that I needed to get over to be able to have all those conversations where I could ask these questions. And I literally would ask questions, and sometimes they would ask about me or ask how they could help me. But most of the time, they just told me about what they did, day to day, and I think I talked to probably 20 to 25 people. And that's a lot. That's a lot of kind of time and hours to learn about what other people do. And it made me feel less naive, right, about what all the opportunities are, it made me feel much more empowered to make a decision about different types of roles that could be a good fit for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:20
What were some of the things that you learned through that portion of the process?

Laura Morrison 24:25
Yeah, I think I learned that, for me, that my network and using people I actually knew to get connected was really helpful, that the cold calling part was hard for me. And I would, so what I would do during these conversations is I would take notes, and then I would go back and read through them and highlight, kind of, the pieces that resonated with me. And one of the questions that I really liked asking was kind of, what makes you great at your job. And then when I would hear people say, things that I'm interested in, you know, can relate to people, kind of ability to make decisions quickly, without all the information. Yeah, just kind of a list of things that resonated with me, or that I was excited about and kind of highlight those. And then I would see that, you know, the product management role actually could be a really good fit for me, because all of these people are saying things that I'm good at. And that I enjoy doing, which is also, I think, something I learned through the process. Maybe not through those phone calls, specifically, but through the whole Career Change Bootcamp, is that there's a big difference between things you're good at and things you enjoy. Sometimes they're the same, but they're not always the same.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:46
Yes, very much. And we're absolutely encouraging people that center in and lean into those that happened to fall into both categories. And it sounds like... it was interesting for me, going back because you were working primarily with one of our coaches, Lisa Lewis, I would get tidbits, she would either send me an email, or you would cc me on something and get tidbits into what was going on in the different steps along the way. And I would say that it wasn't necessarily always an easy road for you.

Laura Morrison 26:31
Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:32
I'm curious what you felt like were some of the most challenging parts. And I know, we chatted just a little bit before we hit the record button here. But I'm particularly curious about what you'd mentioned to me about going into a role. And getting out of that, because I think that that is real, that's human. And to some degree, we all do that sort of thing. So tell us about that and then what worked for you.

Laura Morrison 27:02
Yeah, you know, I think having a program that I was following was really important to me, because I needed the homework. And I needed to check the boxes as I went through the weeks. And where I spent the most time was in this test drive method, right, is having these phone calls. And so what would happen is I'd spend, you know, two to four hours, and I'd research all these people. And I'd get introduced, and I set up phone calls. And then all of a sudden, I'd have, you know, four phone calls in one week that I was trying to juggle with you know, naptime on Fridays, and work time Monday through Thursday. And I'd have like, get it all in and get... have the conversations that take the notes up great. I send follow up emails and follow up thank you notes. And then after doing four or five of those in a few weeks, between the scheduling and the talking and the follow up, I was just tired, right? And so like, okay, I did that. I know, I'm supposed to have three more phone calls this week. But I didn't have any lined up. I didn't even know who the next people that were going to be talking to were. And so I would often then kind of have a week or two where in the back of my head, I would know I would need to do that again. But maybe I would take a break and go on vacation. I'd say that I was too busy. Or sometimes I would do some of the other homework that I felt more comfortable in. Some of the internal stuff like going back to my signature strengths or even skipping ahead to look and think about my resume. And I think you know what got me to keep going back, I think one like I said is having this course where I knew I had other things I needed to do. Knowing that I was accountable to Lisa, my coach, but I think for the first time really being accountable to myself to get this done and a lot of it was just like, alright, I don't want to do this right now. But I'm going to suck it up. And I'm going to sit down. And I'm going to spend four hours on a Saturday working on this and moving forward. And then you get another flurry of phone calls and follow ups and scheduling. Right? And then it kind of happened in many cycles like that, I would say.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:20
AAnd it kind of sounds like almost the flurry of phone calls and scheduling and everything that came along with it was almost the dose of motivation to keep going or to pull you back in to some degree. Am I reading that right? Or how did you feel about those? Because it sounds like you're...

Laura Morrison 29:40
Yeah, it's a little bit of both. I think a lot of it is, those conversations were really energizing for me. But I would still leave them being like, well, I still don't know where I'm going to work next. So I'm happy that I'm talking to all these people. I'm learning all these things, but I didn't see the end goal. And so I think I tend to be... push myself to be more extroverted than I am. And so I think there was an element of those conversations that was draining for me as well. So it's a little bit of both, but knowing that the conversations are good, made it easy to be like, okay, I took a week off, let's get some more on the calendar.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:22
Very cool. And with those conversations, and initially, as you went into those conversations, you'd said, hey, I still don't know where this is going to end up leading. And clearly that was uncomfortable for you. And there is some of that discomfort type reality that when you're going through and trying to identify what is a great situation for you, and what is a great career opportunity for you, that there... sometimes it is hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel, no matter whether you have a system and whether, you know, we've had many other people go through it before. It's still when you're in the thick of it can be challenging. So what point did you start to see that light come back?

Laura Morrison 31:11
Yeah, it's interesting, because I, you know, there were a couple people I spoke with, and their companies were interesting, and they have job openings, and they were offering to help me get my resume in the door. And I kind of said no, right, I said, you know, I'm not sure this is the wrong fit. But I'm not sure it's the right fit yet. And I don't want to apply to something I'm not super excited about. So like, I need some time, I need to figure that out. And that was hard to do as well, because I wasn't particularly happy. The idea of an end was tempting, right? An end, that could be really cool and I'm sure it would be a great opportunity, but maybe didn't hit the lifestyle choices I wanted or the day to day work that I wanted. But so I think what changed is that when I started talking to people at PI, I was not just excited about the company, or the people, but all of a sudden, the role sounded exciting, too. And I talked to a lot of people there. And they were, like everyone I talked to, was so willing to give me their time. And they're, kind of, openly tell me about what the day to day was. And I just, it was such a great group of people. I mean, I got introduced through a friend of a friend and the kind of head of marketing they're, like, easily handed me three more names of people I could talk to on the team. And that in itself was kind of an indication to me of how generous kind of the culture is. Because when you're busy, and of course, startups and everyone is busy, right, especially at a startup culture, and when they're willing to not just give you their time, but also time with their team members and other colleagues. I think that says a lot about the company. So all of those things combined, started getting me excited about a job at PI specifically, which was kind of the light at the end of the tunnel but then also of course a little stressful because if that's... after all this and I've talked to all these people, if that's the job and the company I'm excited about and I'm putting kind of some eggs in that basket that puts a lot of pressure on myself to hope that it works out.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:32
Yeah, and I remember that switch flipping there, where you sent me the email and Lisa too and said, "Okay, I found this company that I want. And now what?"

Laura Morrison 33:44
How do I get it? Exactly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:47
And what did you end up doing? Fill in that's part of the story for people because essentially at this point, as I understand it, this was your number one company at the time, where it's like hey, I like this, I want this. Let's make this happen. So what happened at that point?

Laura Morrison 34:08
Well, I think, you know, a lot of the conversation that I had with you and with Lisa was really helpful to say a couple things, you know, I think you were really helping me understand the right way to approach the conversation, how to continue to build a partnership to really actually make sure that I wasn't... like that I was actually excited about the role while building this partnership and relationships with the hiring manager there. And I think what Lisa did as well was, you know, I mentioned before that, because I wasn't super happy with the work I was doing before, it made it hard for me to feel confident in myself. And so she really helped me kind of remind me that I had a lot to bring to the table, and that I would be a good fit, not just for me, but also for the company that I could do a lot for them. And because I'm so passionate about it, that's, you know, one of the reasons that I'd be a good fit there. I mean, the PI whole thing is about engaging employees, right. And when people are engaged, they bring a lot more to the table. And so being able to be myself and show how authentically interested I was was kind of the primary thing that I focused on through the hiring process.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:30
How do you recommend, having just been through this, I think what you just described is very difficult in terms of being able to be yourself or at least be confident enough to be yourself through that hiring process and share that part because it is some level of vulnerability. Right. But, what advice would you have to other people that are getting ready to go through that or are going through that?

Laura Morrison 35:59
Yeah, you know, I think if you found a role that really does line up with what you're looking for, and something you're excited about, and the strengths you bring to the table, then it's much less important that you know how to answer a million behavioral questions. And much more important that you get yourself in a headspace to be yourself and be the competent version of yourself in those conversations. It's a lot easier to say than it is to do, right. And I think Lisa, maybe had a tip, I can't remember if it was you, Scott, or Lisa about you know, listen to a song before your interview that gets you pumped up, or I think Lisa said, watch a video of your daughter, like, just do yoga, go running in the morning, do something that calms you down, right. Or if you're a calm person that hypes you up whichever way. And I think that was really valuable advice. And I think I did a mock interview with Lisa. And I had prepared all these answers. And I've been, kind of, I like writing. So I write down a lot of things that sound great on paper. And then as soon as you try to say them, you kind of stumble over it and it doesn't come out, right. And she was pointing out to me that I would switch from myself to like the interview version of myself. And the interview version of myself is much more boring. And so just that in itself, like after that I actually kind of stopped preparing for the interview, and started thinking more about how can I be myself with these people? Like I had been on the phone calls, because I was comfortable there. So how do I go into an interview and figure out how to just be myself?

Scott Anthony Barlow 37:52
That is suitable. And I'll even distinguish, you mentioned earlier, being the confident version of yourself. And that is... that I think is a small but critical distinction too. Because we can go through, as humans, all of these head games where it's just like, I'm just not competent anymore, or I'm just not a confident person anymore, or whatever else. But I don't think that that is true. And I don't think that is helpful for any of us to be able to tell ourselves because we all have just like you pointed out a place where we can be a competent version of ourselves. And that's the both genuine plus helpful version to be. So that's interesting that you started preparing for focusing more on being yourself rather than focusing on doing the "right thing."

Laura Morrison 38:47
Yeah, definitely.

Scott Anthony Barlow 38:50
Okay, so we just covered a lot of ground here over seven months. How does that feel looking back? Does that feel like a long time? Does it feel super quick? I'm always curious about that.

Laura Morrison 39:03
You know, I think I had a goal for myself starting in January that I'd have a new job by the end of this calendar year. So that's exciting, right?

Scott Anthony Barlow 39:12
And you did it.

Laura Morrison 39:13
I did it and I set that goal. And I was like God, years a long time. So it's a little bit of both, it's in the trenches, it felt like a long time, I knew it wasn't going to be a month, right, two months. I knew that I needed to do a lot of the searching internally to figure out what I was looking for before I could find it. So I think, you know, parts of those seven months or so felt long. Usually, actually, the parts where I wasn't alone and wasn't doing much, I think, for me action and moving towards the direction speeds things up, or at least made me feel better about the time that it was taking. But now looking back on it, I mean, the difference from where I am today, versus where I was at the end of the year is incredible, not just in the fact that I have a new job. But my mentality about my career, about my potential in a career, kind of the optimism that I gained through the process, yeah, it feels very different in a very good way.

Scott Anthony Barlow 39:35
So what is... it is a completely different place. And it's been super cool for us to be able to see some of those changes along the way. But what do you feel like that is meant for you, other than some of the additional optimism that you have going into 2018 here, what do you feel like that's meant for you?

Laura Morrison 40:42
Oh, it means a lot. You know, I think, having just had a daughter, which is amazing. Of course, she's almost two now, I guess I can't say just anymore. I think for moms, in general, that you tend to shift all your focus away from yourself, and now on to this kind of little creature that you brought into the world. And it's amazing, but it's also really hard to find time for yourself, to take care of yourself. And I think for me, the career part is what I put most on hold. And again, because I didn't know what I wanted to do. But partly because I felt hard. And I was focused on something else. So now to be able to be kind of a mom when I'm home. But then the idea of going to work and being happy at work too. It's all... it's just a very different way. Yeah, it just feels very different. Right? If you're going to leave your house, leave your kid with someone else, you'd hope that you're doing something fun while you're out of the house. Right. And that's something that I really didn't have. And now, I'm really optimistic that I'll have that going forward. And I'm also optimistic that now, it won't take me three years if I am unhappy again in the future.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:06
That is, you know, when we get the opportunity to work with people, I know that that is what, initially people are very focused on, the change that's now. I think personally, having done this for a while and being able to witness a lot of changes. I think that's the most valuable part in the long run is just knowing how and having the confidence to be able to make changes for when something else in life changes. Because it will, I mean, it absolutely will. And it's going to be something, that's going to be, you know, a promotion opportunity, or it's going to be, I don't know, your boss leaves or there's going to be something there, right?

Laura Morrison 42:53
Right. Of course.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:54
And that is so cool that you feel prepared for when that happens the next time around.

Laura Morrison 43:01
Absolutely. And I think that's where some of the optimism comes from. I feel empowered to kind of be in charge of my career again.

Scott Anthony Barlow 43:10
Woohoo. I didn't have anything else to say that is what I wanted to add right then and there. That is amazing. I am so proud of you. And Lisa, so proud of you. And we've shared your story with our team already. We do that behind the scenes for every single person that ends up hitting their goals or getting the results that they wanted to, we share that around on, we use Slack for Team communication. So we have a woohoo channel. That's where your story got shared as soon as it happened. So woohoo to you too, and now you get to share in that as well. And you have just done a phenomenal job. And before we wrap it up, I'm curious for... if you're reaching way back to a year ago, where you resolved that and you made the commitment, hey, look, I want to... this is the year. I've been thinking about this for a couple of years now. And now I'm gonna do something about it. This is the year. What advice would you give to people that are in that spot that are just setting down this path to be able to make the change?

Laura Morrison 44:18
Yeah, I think, you know, it took me a few months to look for outside help. And that was the thing that I needed. I think, particularly as someone who has been successful, it's hard to admit to myself, it was hard for me to say I couldn't do it by myself. You know, I'm smart person, I should be able to figure this out. But as soon as I, you know, had my first career coaching experience, it completely turned around my approach to finding a new job. And it completely gave me the power back and the tools that I needed to do it. So I think, you know, if you know exactly what you want to do, well you're probably not listening to this podcast. But if you don't, just know that there are a lot of tools and resources and people out there who can help you. And for me, that made all the difference.

Scott Anthony Barlow 45:12
That is amazing. Well, I am so glad that it did. Thank you for letting us hang along for the ride and getting to help you at every little point, it was a ton of fun.

Laura Morrison 45:23
Yeah, thanks, Scott. And you and Lisa, and the whole team has been a pleasure to work with. And I, like I said, I've been talking to everyone about your program. And I just think the best of the work that you do and the tools that you put out.

Scott Anthony Barlow 45:36
Well, we very much appreciate that. Thank you for spreading the good word. And keep it up. Do not let us stop yet. That is phenomenal. Laura, thank you so very much. And congratulations, again, moving into your new role. That is amazing.

Laura Morrison 45:53
Thank you, Scott. I really appreciate it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 45:56
Hey, if you loved that story from Laura, well, if you're interested in the same type of change, we actually have, as of right now, we've just recently opened up Career Change Bootcamp 2.0. And we've made some massive improvements to the program. It's the same coaching program that Laura went through, as she made all of her changes. And we got the pleasure of helping her make a massive difference in her life and ultimately get to the company that she really wanted to be with, and the role that is super exciting for her. Check it out on our website, just go to happenyourcareer.com and click on career change bootcamp or drop us an email support@happentoyourcareer.com and we'll help you figure out if the program is right for you. And I really appreciate everybody going over, leaving us ratings and reviews on places like stitcher and iTunes and I'm so appreciative. This one actually comes from M Wills, "I listened to a great variety of podcasts. And Scott's HTYC is up there with shows that I hate to miss or must catch up with." And thank you so much for leaving those five stars because that helps other people, not just find the show, but ultimately get to work that they really love. We've got even more in store for you coming up next week, which we have a return guest on the podcast somebody you haven't heard from for a while, but I think you're going to love. Alright, let's see what we got coming up right here.

Mark Sieverkropp 47:28
My daughter is nine. And she comes home from school and no joke. This is the conversation we have, like, everyday, "Dad, can I take my shoes off?" "Yeah, go ahead." "Dad, can I go to the bathroom?" "Yeah." "Dad, can I get something to eat?" "Brooklyn Just do it. Like just go do it. You don't need my permission to do everything. Now if you want to go play in a busy street, please ask me first. But you don't have to ask for these things." And so I think it really is like we're trained in school and we're trained in society that there's authority figures and we have to let somebody else tell us what we can do.

Scott Anthony Barlow 47:57
All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. I will see you then. Until then. I am out. Adios.

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Is Staying at a Job You Hate Holding You Back from Happiness?

Is staying at a job you hate holding you back from happiness? What if you’ve changed careers…and the new work wasn’t quite the fit you thought it would be?

That’s what happened to Audrey Romagnoulo. She was a talented Operations Manager working in the Events and Hospitality industry in New York City. She’d given much of herself to the job and had been rewarded with increasing responsibility, perpetual “thank yous” …and an increasing distaste for her work because what she valued most didn’t align with what the company valued.

When she came to us for help, it became apparent that the genuine, highly caring, no-holds-barred person that she was (and wanted to be more often) was being hampered because of the job she was working in.

This inability to be herself for 70 hours a week became so frustrating for her that it sparked an 11-month long journey to figure out what she really wanted and fight off the mental barriers that were keeping her stuck!

So how did she go from teary days staying at a job she hated to getting paid $20,000 more with a career that allowed her to be who she is?

Take a listen to Audrey’s story and find out!

WHAT TO DO WHEN THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST YOUR CAREER CHANGE

After helping a couple thousand people make career changes, you notice a few commonalities.

We’ve realized that EVERYONE has barriers to making their change. Especially the busy, high achieving peeps that we’ve worked with. Audrey was no exception!

Audrey had 3 major barriers keeping her from making this change:

End-of-Day Energy Drain: She was working an absurd amount of hours and was drained by the time she was getting home from work and the hour commute each way.

Less Opportunities: She wanted to move to a smaller city many hours away that had less companies and less jobs.

No Job Title Experience: She had 10 years of professional experience but she had never worked in any of the professions that she was most interested in.

To get around these barriers we realized that we would have to do a few things.

  1. We set Audrey up on a schedule that allowed for her to do the work slowly with continuous effort every single week. This schedule allowed her to focus on doing the “work” for herself first thing in the day so that some of her best energy was going to herself.
  2. We realized that to be most effective she would have to avoid the “front door” (online applications) and go in the “back door” (relationships and connections) because she didn’t have the job title experience to be competitive AND because there were less opportunities in the area she want to relocate to.

We also knew that it would be critically important to make sure that Audrey’s next role was one that enabled her to be happy rather than detracted from her happiness.

This meant that she was going to have to do some experimenting to make sure that she got it right.

HOW AUDREY LEARNED THAT WORKING FOR GOOGLE ISN’T FOR EVERYBODY

Audrey began by identifying what would make an ideal opportunity for her. Next, she created a list of companies that she thought might have the types of jobs and culture that she wanted. Then, she began test driving these companies to determine whether or not these were actually a fit.

What happened next is exactly why we always have our students test out their theories of who they actually want to work for and what environment will make them happy.

One of the companies on her short list was Google, partially because she wanted a more progressive environment than where she was already working and partially because they had office locations nearby where she wanted to live.

She worked to get introductions to people inside the company through a friend of her significant other (the weak ties are always there, most people just don’t realize it). She next scheduled some informal “no agenda” conversations to begin building relationships and learning more about the organizations.

These conversations led her to take a total 180 degree turn that may have saved her several years of another job and company that was the wrong fit!

She learned that she actually valued a much more traditional office environment rather than the open concept culture of places like Google.

There were a variety of reasons but Audrey put it this way.

“I learned that if I ever had to wait for someone to finish a game of ping pong so I could get what I needed for a project, I would probably go crazy”

Not at all what she expected! But boy was she glad she did the research as she could have easily ended up in one of those environments!

She also knew that she wanted to make more money in her next role but had no idea how much money she was losing by staying where she was!

HOW STAYING AT A JOB YOU HATE COULD BE BE COSTING YOU MONEY: THE EARNINGS FORMULA

I don’t think Audrey actually believed that she could make significantly more money while at the same time changing careers AND moving to a place with much lower cost of living (and lower pay).

…At least until we showed her the data for the types of roles she was exploring. I personally spent 10 minutes pulling together data from some of our favorite resources like Glassdoor.comSalary.com, and the Bureau of Labor and Statistics and we found that it was very likely Audrey could easily increase her salary by $10,000 – $30,000 annually!

This meant that for every month she was staying in her job she was losing $833 – $2500.

Here’s an example of how that works.

It doesn’t take a PhD in Applied Mathematics to figure out that not only is this amount what you’re losing every single month you’re in your current job, but that when when this begins to add up over years it adds to significant money for most people (especially if you are staying at a job you hate!).

For Audrey it meant $100,000 difference over the next 5 years. $300,000 over the next 30 years if Audrey never got another salary increase (highly unlikely).

So, in other words, changing jobs meant losing the equivalent of a large house where Audrey lives! (Or a reasonably nice apartment in Paris.)

What most people don’t take into account is that when you’re earning more in a job that you’re much more excited about, it gives you additional momentum because you’re more likely to get additional increases in the form of higher raises or promotions.

More important than all of the money, though, is that Audrey was able to get a job that allowed her to be herself and do what she was great at.

BUT WHAT DOES IT REALLY TAKE TO MAKE A CAREER CHANGE?

You know how you always hear those success stories of what other people have done? If you’re like me (or you’re human), sometimes they can make you a little jealous or depressed.

How come it always works out so well for those other people?

Well, here’s the hidden reality behind every single one of the success stories we’ve published:

Zero of them were easy, AND none of them went perfectly.

In fact, we find that much of the time we are helping our students make it easier to change to work they love by focusing on the right things, but focusing on the right things alone doesn’t automatically make you successful.

What happens when you get rejected from a company that you thought was going to give you an offer? Or when everybody is on vacation all at the same time and you feel like throwing in the towel on your career change because you don’t feel like you’re making progress? Or when things blow up at your current job and it sucks up all your time for 2 weeks straight?

All of these happened to Audrey.

It was hard to manage those things while working so much and working crazy hours commuting from state to state. I was crying on the bus ride to work and home sometimes. On those days my most fulfilling days were the days I finished a task. Rarely was it something I was doing on my own behalf.

The imbalance become more obvious as time went on. I was having hopeful conversations and I’d get really excited. I remember talking to this one company for three months and it was all positive but all of a sudden they closed the job because they acquired another office and had two people that could do the job. It was a huge slap in the face.

Even after all of this, she would still do it over again. When you make this type of change, it’s not just about making the change for more money, you end up taking back your life and your right to be yourself and live the life you want along the way.

It doesn’t happen all at once. For Audrey, it took over 11 months. It happens in small steps day after day.

Let me know what you’re going to do today to move yourself forward in the comments below (or congratulate Audrey on her recent change). Don’t let fear force you into staying at a job you hate!

Audrey Romagnuolo 00:04
I got this job in New York marketing in a timeshare industry and hated it because it was boring. The work wasn't very engaging. And although I got to interact with traveling people and transient guests all the time, I kind of felt stupid and underutilized doing the job.

Introduction 00:30
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:54
Hey, welcome back to the Happen To Your Career podcast. I am beyond excited to be here. I know I say that all the time. But I'm especially excited for this episode. It's... quite honestly, one I've been waiting for. I think that's fair to say. I've been waiting for it for a little while ever since I met our guest today. I have had in the back of my mind that I want her on the Happen To Your Career podcast. So without further ado, welcome Audrey to Happen To Your Career. How are you feeling?

Audrey Romagnuolo 01:29
Hey, Scott, I'm feeling great.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:31
Good. Because this is going to be fun. I don't even know all the details yet. But you and I worked together, you found us. I don't even actually know if I remember the story of how you found us. And we'll get into all that. But I got the pleasure of being able to tag along for the ride as you were making your career change. And you allowed us the honor of being able to help out with that. And you've done some rather amazing things I would say. So I'm super excited to dig into all of that. We're going to get to all the things in due time here. Tell people what you do now and you're just getting ready to start your new role here.

Audrey Romagnuolo 02:14
Sure, so I am a benefits coordinator for a law firm in Boston.

Mike Bigelow 02:24
I'm an engineer who was living in Portland, Oregon, and was moving up to Seattle, Washington to support my wife's career change.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:30
This is Michael, he's made career changes before but this one was different.

Mike Bigelow 02:34
A lot of the folks I talked to using sort of my normal candles were often saying, "Hey, we'd love to have somebody like you on the team. Unfortunately, we just let three or four people just like you go because there's not enough work to go around anymore."

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:47
Listen to Michael's story later in the episode to learn how we use coaching to help them figure out what fits him and make the change to work he loves.

Mike Bigelow 02:54
You have somebody in your corner who's looking out for your best interest, they're pushing you to be the best version of yourself and to stretch and grow yourself consistently towards that best self.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:06
You have not always worked as a benefits coordinator though, and you have not always worked in HR, necessarily in any capacity. You've done a lot of different things over your career. And I want to go way back here a bit and dive into how you got to the point where you saw the need to change in the first place. So where did, first of all, where did your professional career begin? Let's give people a little bit of color here.

Audrey Romagnuolo 03:38
So I would say where it becomes relevant. I had, you know, a lot of experience in sales roles and marketing positions. I got a job in New York, which is kind of like a, just the mark on the to-do list that I had to do for no more reason than the fact that that's what my mom did. And that's what people from New Jersey did. I got this job in New York marketing in a timeshare industry and hated it. It was boring. The work wasn't very engaging. And although I got to interact with traveling people and a transient guests all the time, I kind of felt stupid and underutilized doing the job, then went back into the beauty and wellness industry where I had kind of began working straight out of college and thought, "I missed the serenity in the aroma therapy of that environment." So jumped back in and I was an entry level, guest service manager, moved, got promoted after hosting a huge event became an events manager. And then we lost three out of five people on our management team and I was afforded the opportunity to dive into payroll and employee relations and some investigations and a lot of benefits and open enrollment and just all of that world of mess, and I absolutely loved it. I fell in love with it because I was able to deal with things that mattered most to the employees. And so it was really difficult once those roles were then filled again, to let go of the tasks that now we're so much more fulfilling than, you know, event budgets and catering management and things of that nature.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:32
So, from working with you a bit, I know that there were elements that you just... were absolutely enamored with, and had a ton of fun with. But overall, eventually something changed. At some point, you stopped having as much fun. So how did that happen? What took place there? What were some of the timeline events?

Audrey Romagnuolo 05:56
You know, in hindsight, I think that this is probably a very common coming of age for a lot of professionals, where as a young person involved in any industry, you feel like, I need to take on as many new things and as many learning opportunities as possible, so that I can then apply those skills later. And kind of, you know, you're adding tools to your tool belt, for lack of better terms. And you finally get to a point where, taking on all that extra stuff, it's wonderful, but you're not getting paid any more for having volunteered yourself into your grave, and you start to feel a little bit undervalued. And it's hard to develop the courage to have those conversations with your superiors, especially when you taking on those kinds of projects. You're torn because you enjoy them. And at the same time, it's now an expectation. And if you're an overachiever, like I imagine many of your clients are, saying 'no' is really difficult, almost as difficult as saying, "Hey, I've increased my value since I started here. And I need that to be reflected."

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:09
Yeah. And I know you had some of those challenging conversations too, along the way. And some of them were particularly hard for you. And but I'm curious, what caused you to be able to get to the point where you were struggling with, even thinking about those conversations and thinking that they could be a reality, and then beginning to have some of those types of conversations, what changed during that period of time?

Audrey Romagnuolo 07:39
So I think that there were so many elements, I think one of the strongest ones was burnout. I was pushing, I was averaging 70 to 80 hour work weeks. I was, I think the breaking point for me was being offered a promotion, and not being offered a raise to go with it. It was essentially like, "Hey, you've been so awesome with this portion of your job, we'd love for you to do it for this new department we've just acquired" but, they showed me the salary, and it was pretty much exactly what I was making. And it was just like, "Okay, this is not working." On top of that, after declining the offer, which I think was one of the harder conversations.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:28
Yeah.

Audrey Romagnuolo 08:28
I'm still being asked to assist with the project and not being compensated for it, which I said 'yes' to, because I was like, I've had enough of awkward conversations. I don't want any more awkward conversations. At this point, I had already known that I'd be relocating. And I was fortunate enough to have this awesome coach who was like, "Hey, take advantage of learning these new systems. And we'll work on getting you out of there." And that's kind of what we did.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:58
Yeah. And I remember a lot of those conversations that you and I had about that exact thing, because at some point along the way, even before you brought us on board to be able to help out. Then you had made the decision you were going to leave. Right? What was kind of the sticking point for you there where you had... what was the final straw, if you will? Because there were certainly some fun elements and some things that you'd really did enjoy. Do you remember what the last straw was before you said, "Look, I gotta get some help here. I made the decision to go."

Audrey Romagnuolo 09:41
Well, actually, I had worked with another counselor on three appointments prior to contacting HTYC. And, she was in the city and she was a huge advocate of the Myers Briggs Assessment, which assessments are a wonderful tool. But I think there are people of a certain mindset who are susceptible to using them, as opposed to deep sea diving into their own desires and wants. And so you're kind of allowing yourself to be placed into a box as opposed to making your own decisions. It felt very box like, and I think it was my third session with this counselor where I questioned that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:26
And I can't imagine you questioning anything after getting to know you, certainly not.

Audrey Romagnuolo 10:33
But I questioned that. And she was almost defensive. And I was like, "Wait, this is... I'm paying for this service to help me get clear. This is the Audrey show. This is not, I love Myers Briggs," you know, so I just stopped going. And then I found HTYC. I heard you speaking on somebody else's podcast. And I reached out. And none of that answered your question. So to say what my breaking point was, I was also in a relationship, a long distance relationship. And it had been a long time dealing with a long distance commute. And I was just the type of woman who was unwilling to move for love. And then finally, the conversation, another uncomfortable conversation.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:29
I'm noticing a pattern here.

Audrey Romagnuolo 11:30
Was having someone who meant so much to me, he asked me, "Why are you choosing something that makes you so unhappy over something that we could create together? That would make us both really happy?" And I didn't have an answer for that. And so I said, "Look, I'm not comfortable moving without a job. I'm gonna work with this guy, Scott, he's awesome. And he looks like you a little bit. I think it's gonna be great." And that's what we did. And then ultimately, I wound up moving anyway.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:00
Yeah. The twists and turns that happened in there. And I totally want to come back to that too. You did end up moving anyways. But it wasn't a small road to be able to get to that point. And that's super interesting that you were on this track, where you were running this as fast as you possibly can. And because you were running down that track, and because it was what was going on in your life, it was almost accidentally forcing you to say no to some other things that were really, really important. Like considering the move in that way.

Audrey Romagnuolo 12:42
Yep, absolutely. I think that was the hardest thing to come to terms with was finally coming to the decision to move without something lined up in advance. But if you know, and for anybody who's contemplating a move, if you have the means to do it, just go, I can't stress that enough, like it is the most rewarding risk you will take, you will be happier in your job search, you will enjoy the process more, and you will be able to commit to it with so much more confidence.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:19
That's super interesting. I've been, not to take us too far off track here, but I've been reading literally every single book that I can find that has a good set of research behind what makes us happy as humans. And so I'm like, I don't know, 10 or 15 books into this. And one of the things that is overwhelming within the research is that, when we make decisions, and then when we take actions on those decisions, we rarely as human beings regret it afterwards. But if we don't take that action, like in this case, it could have been, you know, choosing to never make that move or choosing to wait until you have the job or something else along those lines. You know, that's the situation where it causes regret in the end versus the other way around, versus if I'm actually taking that action. It's absurd because our brains tell us the opposite thing, actually. The other way around is much more intuitive to us. So you took this, clearly, you don't regret it. Clearly it turned out for the best, but I'm curious why you advise people to do that. Push this research aside and say like, what was your personal experience? Because you were going through a lot of questioning about whether or not that was the right decision for you.

Audrey Romagnuolo 14:48
Right. So if I may throw myself under the bus, you know, until HTYC, I never once considered lifestyle in terms of selecting a career path or a job.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:02
What do you mean by that?

Audrey Romagnuolo 15:06
How much free time I had in a day was not something that I included in my search, you know, the breakdown in that eight day course it makes you look at, you know, your health and wellness, your relationships, if you, you know, if you have spiritual elements that you wanted to include in your lifestyle, none of those things ever even came into my awareness as things to consider when looking for a job, which, you know, you learn in time is utterly ridiculous, because the truth is, your job is not what matters most. Generally speaking, it's everything else that matters more, the job is just a means to support you living the life that you'll enjoy. And, you know, share with the people that you love. So that was a huge mindset twist for me, was, I'm looking for a much bigger picture than just a vocation that I'm going to do during the week.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:06
Interesting. So then, how did that impact later then that decision? Because it wasn't just one, from what I recall, it wasn't just one and done type conversation, it was back and forth. And you made a go of it, trying to find a new job while you were at this job, your previous job, right?

Audrey Romagnuolo 16:33
Yes, I did. So during my search, and you know, doing all the cold calling, which, if you hate cold calling, don't judge yourself, just don't think about it, just get it done. But it was really hard to manage those things. While, you know, working so much and working these crazy hours and then commuting from state to state. You know, I was crying on the bus ride to work, and then sometimes crying on the way home and, at that point, my most fulfilling days were the days where I completed a task. And rarely was it something that I was doing on my own behalf. So the imbalance just became more and more obvious as time went on. And I was having some really hopeful conversations, and I was, you know, I would get really excited about... I had this conversation with this company, and then, you know, I remember speaking with one company for a span of three months, and everything was positive, positive, positive, positive, and then all of a sudden, they were like, "Oh, sorry, we closed the position, because we acquired another office, and they have two people who can do the job." It was like, just such a huge slap in the face. And I was like, I hate those people. But I moved here and wound up getting an interview with the same company for another position. So, what I would say, why I would suggest just taking the risk sooner than later is, I spent, and this is not suggesting everybody's going to fall in the same timeline. But I spent six months in New Jersey, looking for work in Massachusetts. And then I moved to Massachusetts, and finally made the decision to take the risk and come here and meet the people and be able to go to interviews and see people and things like that. And it took me the same amount of time. So imagine if I would have came here six months earlier.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:41
Potentially could have saved some of those months.

Audrey Romagnuolo 18:44
Correct.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:46
So back in, if you want a good outline for whether or not it's a good idea to quit, and when it's okay to quit, go back to Episode 203 with Mike Goodman, our community success manager, who has also quit jobs along with myself too. And we give you a really good set, a really good set of questions and outlines to be able to decide whether or not it is right for you, because it's not necessarily right for everybody. But if I remember, Audrey, we talked extensively about whether or not that would be a good decision in your case, and from what I remember, please correct me if I'm wrong, you had done a really good job saving some money. So you had given yourself some runway, and that's one of the things that put you in a good position to be able to make that possible. And then also you have done a good job eliminating, you didn't have really, really, really significant amounts of debt or living expenses or anything along those lines. So that made it possible too. And ultimately for the type person you are, I think the other thing that seemed to be really good for you is not having all of this stuff that was bringing you down and draining you that was deterring your focus from being able to make the transition. How did you feel about that after, well, I guess before and after that decision?

Audrey Romagnuolo 20:16
Actually I remember the day that I made the decision to move and it was during one of our Tuesday sessions, and I just remember kind of being like, "I can't do this anymore." like, I need to move. And I just remember divulging like, Scott, this is how much money I have in the bank. Like, this is what I've got to work with, I need to buy a car. I'm gonna anticipate and we actually just wrote a budget and just doing that math, I think you were like, "You have 13 months, like you're losing money, staying where you are." And that was it. That was all I needed was just to budget myself and realize this is totally real. And then, you know, I think that very afternoon, one of my friends reached out to me and was like, "I just quit my job, I'm going to tour across the US for three months." And I'm like, if this girl can quit her job and take a road trip, I can quit my job and look for a job. And that was that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:24
So that was a really big mindset switch, then. So tell HTYCers a little bit more about the losing money in state because I think that was a big mindset switch for you.

Audrey Romagnuolo 21:37
Yeah, so I'm a saver, I like putting money away in the bank, it feels good to look at that number increase. And one of the things I was really afraid of, one, I just didn't want to move here and be dependent on anybody. That was something that I just wasn't willing to do. So I wanted to make sure when I moved in, that I was contributing 50/50 on everything. And the thing is, I'm a crazy person. So my, you know, my partner would have been happy to support me, he would have, you know, relish in the opportunity, but I'm a psychopath. So I'm not having it. I am woman, I need to, you know, be 50/50 on everything. So that was one thing. The other piece was, I was scared of how I would feel watching my bank account just dwindle every month, as I paid my bills. I wound up finding a really awesome deal on a used car. And soon as I got the car, it was in my driveway every day, and I was just like, yep, I'm gonna quit. I'm gonna quit now, because I just wanted to pack my car and leave.

Rebecca Maddox 22:56
There was something missing in my career that I have some skills I want to sharpen, that I wanted a different connection to the work that I was doing. And I was feeling very stuck in my search.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:09
Remember Rebecca from earlier? Well, not only did you feel stuck in her career, but she had some personal struggles, too.

Rebecca Maddox 23:16
I was dealing with a long term relationship and trying to bridge the gap there. But also, I felt like I needed to be in a different setting to really hone my skills in a certain way to get experience and to have a different interaction with my work.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:30
When she signed up for coaching with HTYC she gained accountability and direction.

Rebecca Maddox 23:35
Getting the support, getting helping to focus on your goals, and what are some tangible results you can pull out of your goals is helpful. I think preparing in practicing to walk into an interview and having someone there.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:48
It help her to get clarity and take action on the career change.

Rebecca Maddox 23:53
And better clarity on what maybe what your weaknesses and strengths are, that are going into your interview so that you're holistically prepared. And to help you see the moving pieces in your search.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:07
Hey! Congratulations, Rebecca, on figuring out what you really wanted and making the change to it. If you also want to figure out what work fits you and make it happen, well, guess what? We can absolutely help. All you have to do is go to happentoyourcareer.com and click on Coaching to be able to apply. Send in your application right now. Or here's the other thing you can do, you just press pause and text MYCOACH, that's MYCOACH to 44222. Pause right now and we'll send over the application right to your phone.

Rebecca Maddox 24:40
Having someone there to could hear what you're saying but then also can see what's in between the lines to pull that out and to get your job search a boost is invaluable.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:53
If I remember, one of the exercises that we did is we went through and step by step figured out, okay, so here's how much you're earning at your current job, which at that time, we felt that you were significantly underpaid for your experience level and what you could bring to the table and essentially the rest of the market. So we said, "Okay, look, we came up with that, you will probably be making around 20-ish thousand dollars moreso if you're changing to a new company, new job, etc, etc. So what is the payback? Or what is the time period in which you can go, one, without running out of savings, and we figured out, hey, it's well over a year. But then the second thing that we figured out, too, is look for every single month that you're staying in here, you are actually losing that new potential salary. By staying in role. Versus, if in we wrote it out on digital paper, I think it was at the time might have been real paper, and we figured out, hey, that, look, if it takes you six months to be able to get a new role, then actually, that's a really good payback, cuz you're gonna make that up in X number of months too and I don't think most people are looking at it in that particular way too. And if I recall, what you said is now that you've made that change too, I think you got what, like a $20,000 increase or something, right?

Audrey Romagnuolo 26:30
Yes it is.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:32
Weird. Yeah, good for you. That's awesome.

Audrey Romagnuolo 26:35
And I did it in six months. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:37
Well, look at that.

Audrey Romagnuolo 26:39
Yeah, we basically forecasted it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:43
It's almost like we've done this before.

Audrey Romagnuolo 26:45
Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:46
Yeah. So what do you think the hardest part was? For you in particular, both throughout the, well, let's start with the entire journey.

Audrey Romagnuolo 27:00
I think just coming to the point where I was ready to make the decision, making the decision was actually relatively easy. And I think putting, you know, putting the numbers down on paper actually really helped with that. But making the decision to transition out of the wellness industry, with the understanding that I could continue growing on this ladder, and probably do so pretty rapidly. But I had no interest in it whatsoever. And so making the decision to say, "Hey, I'm gonna go entry level, in a totally different direction." I think, part of the, you know, a lot of the rewiring that was required, I had to in terms of a resume, which I know, resumes aren't so huge, but I'm taking things out of the context of your current role, and putting them in transferable context is way more valuable, especially if you're doing applications online. Nobody cares about the specifics. And so you're the only person who knows the context of what you were doing where you were, if you're not taking the effort to translate that to the industry you want to be in, you're not doing yourself any favors. So that was one thing, because I found myself removing accomplishments on my resume that weren't relevant. And you feel like, oh, but that was awesome. Like, I kicked butt on that or that was great. But it doesn't matter if it's not relevant. So get it off. Another part of the rewiring that was like, really interesting. I had a super huge, I was so embarrassed to say to an interviewer, you know, when they would say, "Why'd you move to Massachusetts?" Like to say, "Well, I moved for love" I was so embarrassed. And I wound up doing it on a phone interview with someone who was interviewing me for something I really didn't care about. And I had other conversations going on. And I just figured let me experiment and just say it, and she was like, "Oh, my God, me too. Blah, blah, blah, blah." And I was like, it's a story. So I started saying it more and more, and I will, I can guarantee that every conversation I've had since both on the phone and in person, in groups, somebody could relate to that story.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:32
Because it's human, right?

Audrey Romagnuolo 29:34
Because it's human. Yep.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:36
If I remember you were, we had many conversations about that specific thing and even other details too, where you were afraid or unsure or very uncomfortable with sharing those pieces of you essentially, which was authentically you. And I would say you are, by far, one of the most authentic people that I know in general, but for, no, very, very true, and I've told you that several times, but it was hard, it was hard one, it was put into the context of, "Hey, I'm going to go and I'm going to change my world. And I'm going to talk to all these new people. And I want it to translate into something that's going to be really good for my career. And what should I share? What shouldn't I share?" So that's so interesting, then that you found that when you were sharing more of yourself, you got a better response from that.

Audrey Romagnuolo 30:34
Yes. Huge insight there.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:40
Were there any other areas where you became more comfortable sharing more of yourself in the job search, or interview, or other part of the process?

Audrey Romagnuolo 30:51
Yeah, so it took a long time to get to this point. And it took a lot of conversations, to finally realize that if I didn't like something about a role, like when you get further along in an interview process, and what I've noticed, most of the conversations I've had have been with teams. So it hasn't been just the standard one interview, and then a callback. It's been six people, one day in two hours, or like, whatever. And somebody always winds up asking you, you know, "Is there anything about the job that you're concerned about? Is there anything about the description that you're not interested in?" Like, answer those questions, honestly, I literally had a woman at a company in Boston bring me in, and say, "I brought you in today, because I liked you so much during our phone call, but I really don't think you're gonna like this job. And I just need to know that you're jazzed about it." And she was like, "I want you to go home and really think about this." I'm thinking to myself, well, one, I've never been called to an interview for someone to be like, I don't think you're gonna like this at all.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:59
On the interview.

Audrey Romagnuolo 32:00
Maybe she's, you know, you never know what somebody on the other end of the phone intends for you. So who knows, that person could have you in mind for a totally different role. And if you're not being receptive to the opportunities that are coming in front of you, you could miss out on quite a bit. So don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Even if you feel under qualified, even if you feel like you're not a right fit, because you may sit down. And they might say, "We really... I know you applied for this, but what do you think about this?" and it could be something you totally love.

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:34
That is amazing advice right there. And totally counterintuitive, but we've seen that with literally hundreds of people that we've worked with, where when you just as you described will go into an interview, and be frank with them about, "Hey, I'm absolutely loving these parts. Here's the parts I am less excited about" especially as you get further along into the interview where you've already built a relationship. If you walk in, you know, like, hey, this, you know, your job sucks, that's totally, like, don't do that, that's not gonna be helpful to anybody. But as you get further along into that interview, and you're completely transparent with them, then that, more often than not, we've seen has created other opportunities, because so few people out there are willing to be transparent in the way that you were. And I think people connect with that.

Audrey Romagnuolo 33:26
I would also say like, if I can just, you know, bullet this one thing, the more interviews that you do that are outside of what you want, the more exposure you get to other avenues where your skills may be applicable. So I interviewed for, like, an implementation specialist role. In my role in New York, I was doing a lot of training of a lot of older generations on how to use certain tech platforms. And I wound up applying for a position that was called onboarding specialist and in my mind, I was anticipating this to be more of a human resources onboarding function. But when I had the phone interview, they were like, you know, this is more implementation. So you'll be teaching people how to use this tech of one I was like, "Whoa, I never thought in a million years I get an interview with a tech company. This is so cool." I wound up applying for like two other positions like that with different tech companies. So it's just you know, just being a little bit more receptive. I think something I really struggled with during the process was I had such a defined limited view of what my ideal was. And so I wasn't seeing the other, kind of, avenues and opportunities that were out there. And so I was missing the mark a little bit. Like, I picked this one company and I was like, that's the dream company where I wanna be.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:00
That's the goal standard, yeah.

Audrey Romagnuolo 35:03
And I wouldn't, like, see anything else. So the hardest part was sometimes just finding companies I was actually interested in based on this crazy standard that I just put on the blackboard, you know? So yeah, just being open. And, you know, by the time I moved here, I feel like working with you gave me more confidence to you know, I was volunteering for events, I was working with the Chamber of Commerce, I was giving my resume to all my friends like, just utterly and shamelessly sharing my story and I can't tell you just how many tips and little tricks and leads I got just by making fun of myself.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:46
In what way? Now I'm super curious. What's an example of that?

Audrey Romagnuolo 35:51
Oh, my God. I don't know. I'm like when we went to... I volunteered for this event called chowderfest, which is basically just like a really fun contest where a bunch of, so I'm in the New England area chowder is, like, a big deal. But I would make fun of, like, I would start talking in my New York accent and, like, really embellishing it, and I was making the judges laugh so hard. And then it's like, "Oh, my God, she was great." Like, "We know this person." "Who's that?" Like, you just... I was at the Chamber of Commerce. And those events, it's kind of like a lot of people getting together to exchange leads. And here I am this girl with no leads just looking for like, connection. And, you know, yeah, it's a blow to the pride, you feel stupid. It's okay to feel stupid, going to networking events with nothing to offer anybody is hard. It's uncomfortable. Do it anyway, because that's when you meet people who are also from New York. And they say, you know, I know somebody at this company, or I know somebody at this company, or my friends, a headhunter, and this happened over and over again. And I'm still in touch with these people. So you know, it just... it really is the gift that keeps on giving.

Scott Anthony Barlow 37:11
That is super cool. So what finally happened then to; One, I know that you had set some standards for yourself, you weren't going to take just anything out there. And as he went through these interview processes, you were looking at a completely differently than the average person, you're really trying to figure out, "Hey, is this role a fit?" And... but what finally happened at that role and company that you accepted, where you said, "Hey, this could be a good thing." How did that happen?

Audrey Romagnuolo 37:47
So I had quite a few conversations where I'll say, and maybe you can help me out here with the right verbiage, but I had, like three different companies that I interviewed with a very young sprightly type of culture with, you know, like, ping pong tables, or, yeah, like that Google inspired office space. And, I think, for whatever reason, in my head, I just thought that that's where someone like me should be pursuing work. But the truth of it is, if I were ever not knowing myself, if I were ever in a position where I had a question about a task that I needed to complete, and I had to wait for somebody to finish a ping pong game, I would lose my mind. It wasn't until walking into the office at this law firm. And, you know, the formal, respectful kind of curt way of communicating that is very straightforward. And just clear and concise. You know, that is way more my kind of style, as opposed to like, I'm not getting anything done in an office with a dog. Like, that's just, this is... you learn yourself, but none of that really made sense to me, until I went to this interview in a more formal environment and actually felt relieved that there was no googly type stuff going on. So I think a part of me felt like because I was young, that should be what I wanted.

Scott Anthony Barlow 39:25
That's so interesting, even how you're talking about it in terms of "Hey, because I'm in this category, then this should be" I think, anytime you find yourself inserting the 'this should be' or this is what you know, is some other people's definition or version of what good looks like, then that's more than likely the wrong place for you, whatever it is, and yeah, I know many people that that do enjoy that environment, but that's not for everybody. I wouldn't get anything done in that. Like if you... I know, we can't see, and everything like that. But in the back of me, I've got nothing here. There's, like, floor space and a workspace. And that's it. Because I have ADD, and I get way distracted unless I can focus on the thing at hand. So ping pong. Yeah. But I know many people that just absolutely love that environment. So you learned that that clearly wasn't for you by paying attention to what felt right. And I think kudos to you, because so many people ignore that in the first place.

Audrey Romagnuolo 40:29
Well, the other thing, I mean, I caught myself being disingenuous in interviews, where, you know, somebody would say to me, and the thing is, you know, I am, one of my signature strengths would be adaptability, so I can make pretty much anything work. But in terms of how I like to operate, there were, you know, several conversations where someone would say to me, you know, "How do you feel in the realm of ambiguity?" And I mean, you've had enough conversations with me to know that I am very clear, there's no guesswork with what I'm saying. And I prefer that kind of environment. But I would tell people, you know, that's nothing strange to me. I'm totally accustomed to it, which was true. But that's not what I wanted. So then I would leave, and I would be like, Oh, I hope they, you know, call me back. And then I would think about it a little more and be like, Oh, my God, I'm going to get sick of that in like two months if I go through with this, you know.

Scott Anthony Barlow 41:29
That's so interesting, because that is polar opposite of what you described in some of the other later interviews and later interactions, where you were saying, "Yeah, all these areas really fit really well. But there's this one area I'm less sure of, and here's what I'm really looking for." And that is, one, it takes courage to be able to put yourself out there in that way. So that's awesome that you did that. And what most people will not do throughout their entire lives. And instead of the way that we think that we have to interview, which is what you just described just a moment ago, where it's like, yeah, I'm totally comfortable with the ambiguity. Which is true, but not what you actually want. So asking for, for what you want is what I'm taking away from that. Like, when you ask for what you want, you're more, strangely, more likely to get what you want versus let somebody else.

Audrey Romagnuolo 42:23
And just also, you know, adversely being willing to say, "No, that's not something I enjoy. No, that's not something I'm interested in." Because I think ambiguity has become the new hot word. And a lot of companies and, especially, this is just my assessment based on my interviews. I have no backing for this whatsoever, except my opinion. But ambiguity is like a word that I've seen used quite frequently. And to me, that's just like a red flag of, "Wait. So do you know what you're doing? Like..."

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:56
Do you not have your...

Audrey Romagnuolo 42:58
So. I like things. I love flexibility. And I love innovation. But in terms of working, I like to know what it is I'm supposed to produce, who I'm working with on that project, how are we going to get there? Because I'm a point B person, once I know what point B is, I don't care about point A, I don't care about the past. I don't care about anything in my peripheral. I just want to get to be.

Scott Anthony Barlow 43:23
Yeah. So what advice would you give for people that are back, you know, six, eight months ago, where you were at the time, and in the role that they're not excited about, know that they want to make a change, and they're just on the cusp of wanting to move forward and find themselves and be able to do work that allows them to be much more of themselves?

Audrey Romagnuolo 43:53
I think we kind of all start at the same place, which is I don't like this. I don't want this, you know, it's not like, "Oh, I've been dreaming about this, like you're not getting there by being really happy where you are. So I think a lot of us start in the, "I don't like this place." And I think what HTYC really helps to do is... and it forces you to ask yourself questions that didn't occur to you to ask. And you're working with professionals who have not only been in your shoes, but are really good at helping other people get out of this place. So just intuitively, they know more than you do about this process, especially if it's your first go around. And why not tap into that insight? I think that what kind of made that really clear to me from the very beginning was the eight day program, the email program.

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:48
Yeah, we still have around. We've had about 15,000 people through that over at figureitout.co.

Audrey Romagnuolo 44:54
Okay, so that was like more content than I have seen offered anywhere else. And it was just so easy. And it was... but it was so much value added that, like, it was crazy. And that's just the tip of the iceberg compared to what's available.

Scott Anthony Barlow 45:18
Well, that is super kind of you to say, and it makes me happy that we get to chat after you've come full circle on this journey. And I'm so excited for you to get into your next role and have fun. And I'm so proud of you for paying attention and putting what you thought that you should be doing or what you thought you had to be doing in any given moment. And putting that aside, because it's not an easy thing to do. And then to start paying attention to yourself, which you are... I cannot wait to talk again, and another year. Just how much progress that you have made just in that one area alone. I'm just... I am just ecstatic for you. And super, super happy. So congratulations again, by the way.

Audrey Romagnuolo 46:07
Thank you, thank you so much for everything and the whole team too.

Scott Anthony Barlow 46:12
Hey, thanks so much for listening to the Happen To Your Career podcast. I really, really appreciate it. And I appreciate you. And guess what? We've got plenty more coming up next week, right here on Happen To Your Career. So take a listen to what we've got in store for you. Next week on the Happen To Your Career podcast

Dan Pink 46:32
What prompts me to go through is probably just a sense of bad reasoning saying, "oh my god, I've already sunk this much time into it. I might as well finish" or probably at another level, "wow, I really looked like an idiot if I started and didn't finish."

Scott Anthony Barlow 46:50
All that plenty more. See y'all next week. Adios. I'm out.

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The 4 Keys to a Meaningful Career

I admit it: I listened to what everyone else that I “should” do for a “good” job, at least at the beginning.

Want to know where that got me? Into work I dragged myself through every day for over a year in a job that had no meaning…where I ultimately got fired!  

It was my first professional job right out of college. Everybody told me I should take it. After all, most people didn’t even have job offers before they graduated. Plus it paid well and provided benefits…

But my deepest truth is that I took the job because it was “available”. Just right there in front of me. And everybody and their mother congratulated me on how “lucky” I was to have a job.

So, in my infinite 22 year old wisdom, I made what I thought was the smart move and said, “Well, I don’t have any other job offers yet, and finding other jobs sounds hard, so I should probably take this one.”

I was definitely not setting myself up for long-term success and fulfillment in my work.

Looking back, I wish I’d had someone like Dan Cumberland to help me find a path to a meaningful career.

Dan is a former youth pastor whose story is similar to mine: the power of suggestion took him down a career path that never quite fit him (being a pastor), but seemed right at the time.

In his journey to get on a path that matched his personality and values and desired impact, Dan did tons of research and developed his philosophy behind fulfilling career pathing. He founded The Meaning Movement, a business and podcast where he helps folks with this kind of stuff every day.

Through his work, he created a framework that he’s dubbed The 4 Ps of Meaningful Work.

If you’re seeking work with more depth and purpose for you, let me take you deeper into his 4 “Ps”: Product, Profit, Process, and People.

1. Product

On the podcast, as he was waxing philosophical on meaning in your work, Dan said:

When we talk about work and meaning we are talking about impact, agency, and identity.

Dan Cumberland

Impact in particular is tied to the Product you’re creating, or the output you’re responsible for.

When he talks about Product, Dan referred to it both on the micro level — meaning, what are the daily deliverables you’re responsible for — and the macro level.

The macro level of Product could be the good or service that you contribute to, or Product could expand out to the purpose of that good or service in society. For example, working at a plastic bag company might not feel like it has a ton of meaning at the “goods and services” level, but might feel more meaningful if you think about how you’re creating a product that helps people hygienically and safely transport their food home to their families, keeping cross-contamination and spread of bacteria and foodborne illness at a minimum. It suddenly re-frames the Product of your work as a unique contribution to public health and safety.

We’ve had coaching clients come through our doors with certain predispositions about companies like pharmaceuticals or insurance companies and how their Product doesn’t feel like it’s in alignment with their own personal quest for meaning. However, when you look at the good actors in these industries and the companies that are making huge, longitudinal improvements in health and quality of life, it can be easy to see how your Product could be far greater than your own daily contribution.

2. Profit

Sometimes the word Profit gets a bad rap and is positioned as the opposite of meaning, as if in order to have a meaningful career, you can’t make money or turn a profit.

Yet when you think about Profit in a personally meaningful way, it becomes a way more nuanced — and far more interesting — conversation.

Profit can be defined as an advantage or benefit when the amount of revenue gained from a business activity exceeds the expenses, costs and taxes needed to sustain the activity.

In personal terms, this could mean that what you’re getting back from the company is greater (and more valuable to you) than what you’re giving them — you’re turning a profit because you’re not running on empty and feeling like you’re getting something in exchange for your work that’s of greater value to you than the time and energy you’re putting in.

To better understand your own definition of Profit, ask yourself: what are the advantages and benefits of work for me? What do I get out of it? What would make a job feel “profitable” for me, beyond the money? What can I get back from my employer that would feel well worth the time and energy I’m putting in?

Some measures of personal non-monetary Profit could be:

  • Learning a new skillset
  • Joy from fun relationships with colleagues
  • Unique access to industry or company leaders
  • Flexibility to allow me to enjoy the rest of my life
  • Great benefits (tuition benefits, fully paid insurance, healthy lunches served onsite)
  • Constant opportunities to grow and try new projects
  • Changing a market/industry/problem that’s important to me

Additionally, a great way to think about how you define Profit in terms of your monetary paycheck is an exercise from Jenny Blake, author of Pivot. Instead of tying your self esteem and worth to one specific number, give yourself a range:

  • What’s my “minimum” number, or the number I’d accept as a minimum to do work that filled me up with joy and light? Remember that sometimes the things in our lives that we consume and see as “needs” are often coping mechanisms, retail therapy, or purchases that help us numb out the pain of not living the life we feel called to by our hearts.  
  • What’s my “ideal” number, or the secret digits in the back of your head that you’re always passively scanning job ads looking for?
  • What’s my “jump for joy” number, or the one where I’d be so thrilled and overwhelmed that someone valued my contributions that much, I’d be jumping out of bed every morning ready to dive into my work?

Defining what your bottom line is can be incredibly helpful in finding and achieving it.

3. Process

Dan explains Process as the “doing” of the work.

To start exploring what kind of Processes are most meaningful for you, ask yourself: what kind of tasks or activities do you love and get lost in doing?

You can tell when you’re enjoying a Process when you find yourself in a “flow” state: you’ve been working with such focus and intensity that you look up at the clock, and two hours have gone by in the blink of an eye.  

Sometimes you can also see the tasks you love based on what you volunteer for. When you’re doing projects or activities outside of work — like a passion project, a side hustle, or a volunteer program in your church or community — what kinds of roles do you naturally gravitate towards?

In other cases, seeing yourself how others view you can be helpful in seeing your natural gifting in Processes. What kinds of things do people come to you for help with? What problems do you always jump up to help other people solve? Those answers can be great affirmation if you love having long conversations about English class homework with your niece, or if you enjoy troubleshooting issues with software system compatibility on your mom’s computer. Each of those natural gifts would point to different work (and styles of work) that would be personally meaningful to you.

4. People

To round out the 4 Ps of a meaningful career, Dan recommends getting clear on who you work with — and for.

What kind of People do you want your work to serve? Individuals, groups, communities, countries? Challenge yourself to describe a single individual you’d like to help. What is that person’s backstory? What are they like? Why do they need this kind of help?

People also refers to the people you work with: your boss, your direct coworkers, and your colleagues across the organization. What qualities would you want the leaders of your organization to embody? How would you be able to tell through their behavior if they are successfully living out their (and your) values?

Sometimes, organizations can espouse certain values, but act in ways that aren’t aligned.

For Lisa Lewis, one of the career coaches on our team, she had a particularly painful experience seeing a leader give lip service to values while acting out of alignment:

“My last consulting job was at a company that talked a lot about creating positive work-life balance. However, one particular leader on the team actively undermined that policy in pressing employees to take on projects even after they’d said they couldn’t.

“I found out that my grandfather had just died. She called me into our 1-on-1 meeting, and when I sat down with her, my eyes were already full of tears. I told her I’d just learned of a loss in the family, and she immediately responded by telling me to “take all the bereavement time I needed”.

“And then, as if she’d been possessed, she immediately switched into corporate mode discussing her project and told me that she would need my decision about whether I could start on a new project by the end of the day. I was flabbergasted and felt like my legs had been kicked out from under me. I could feel a permanent rage blackout coming on. Something inside of me said, “there has got to be a better way,” so I committed to searching for a new job that same day.”

Reflecting on the best and worst team dynamics you’ve experienced can be a helpful way to clarify what’s most important to you in terms of People. When do you feel alive and safe and thrive in a work environment? What are the times you’ve felt shut down or deflated or hamstrung in your ability and desire to contribute to the greater goals at work? Writing down the commonalities between each set of experiences reveals what your core values around culture, personalities, and individual contributions are.

WRAP UP: WHAT DOES A MEANINGFUL CAREER MEAN TO YOU?

Now that you’ve reflected on the Product, Profit, Process, and People that create a personally meaningful career experience for you, comment below and share with us: What are some of the traits of the 4 Ps for you? What came up that you weren’t expecting? What came up that validated your hunches about what you need?  

Setting Boundaries in Your Career: When and How to say NO

I HAD OUTSOURCED MY SELF-ESTEEM, VALIDATION, AND SELF-WORTH AS TO WHAT I ACCOMPLISHED, DID PEOPLE APPROVE OF ME, DID I DO A GREAT JOB.

MELODY WILDING

Do you know anybody who’s running on the vicious hamster wheel of career dissatisfaction?

It usually looks something like this: you’ve just accepted an offer for a really cool sounding job at an amazing company.

You’re getting paid more, and the work sounds pretty exciting. In short, you’re totally pumped.

You start out, full of hope, dreams, unicorns and puppy dogs that never pee on the carpet. You really want to make a good impression and set yourself up for future success and opportunities, so you work really hard.

It starts with you putting in a couple extra hours — you want to impress the boss, and definitely don’t want to arrive at work after she does (or leave before she does, either). So you make a habit of showing up early.

Or maybe the boss asked if you had the bandwidth to take on one more teeny project on your plate. It really doesn’t seem like it should take more than about 3-4 hours a week, so you figure you can squeeze out those hours somehow, so you say Yes and start the next project.

Or perhaps you were in a big meeting with a person who leads the department, and he called you “kid” or “honey” in front of the team. Or in private. Or in an email. And while the hair on the back of your neck stood up, you stayed silent. Because he’s the boss. Right?

And then, as weeks go by, you start to notice that what you thought was your Dream Come True job is actually starting to feel like your nightmare.

You’re tired. You’re not thrilled to get out of bed in the morning anymore. You’ve stopped setting boundaries. You’re resigned to complaining to all your friends, and mentally decide that this job must be like all the others. Until you start looking at job ads, that is, and start seeing some seductive or tantalizing new job postings. “This sounds kind of like what I’ve done, but with a twist. This could be the jolt of adrenaline that my career needs to feel revved up again…”

And then you’re on the hamster wheel of job dissatisfaction, where all jobs end up being terrible and you give up on hope, dreams, unicorns and house trained puppy dogs.

Sounds pretty terrible, doesn’t it?

Before you head down the toilet bowl of despair, I want to tell you the first thing I know to be true: it doesn’t have to be this way.   

But the most important thing that I know to be true is: the difference between satisfaction and dissatisfaction in career is often as simple as setting better boundaries to protect yourself.

Boundaries in work can be confusing — because sometimes the idea of setting boundaries sounds like something your parents would lecture you about before you’d go out on a date in high school.

“Remember: no means no, Scottie! Don’t do anything you don’t want to do! Make good choices!!!”

But setting boundaries are a fancy word to say: I have rules I use to teach others how to treat me.

When you have “flexible” boundaries (which usually means boundaries that you don’t enforce…so not real boundaries), there are some clear emotional warning signs that will let you know when they’ve been violated.

Have you noticed any of these in your work life?

(1) RESENTMENT: DEFINED AS TO FEEL BITTER OR INDIGNANT BECAUSE YOU FEEL YOU HAVE BEEN FORCED TO ACCEPT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE.

If you’re wondering if you’re experiencing resentment, read this story to see if any parts of it resonate with you:

Amy was pumped to get the chance to try something new and start writing marketing materials for her boss. She was excited about being offered the experience that without stopping to talk about the effect that adding another project to her plate would have on her stress and time management, she raised her hand and said Yes to write weekly blog posts for her company.

Only a few weeks in, she was feeling overwhelmed by how much she was learning, and started feeling exhausted by completing all her prior job tasks as well as expending 10 hours a week to do the new blog posts. Because she didn’t want to let anyone down, she started compromising on her other values to get it done, canceling after-work plans with friends and missing workouts. She hadn’t realized that by agreeing to take on something new (and wanting to show her enthusiasm), she ended up overstepping her boundary on the total number of hours she was willing to work, and soon started to become bitter about the project.

Despite being annoyed that the work was taking so much time, instead of talking to her boss to re-negotiate her workload, she started directing that anger at herself, being frustrated that she didn’t pick up the new skill fast enough and wasn’t good enough at writing strong copy quickly. But she reached a breaking point, and Amy talked to her boss about the issue. Rather than helping her change her projects around to solve it, her boss held her to her original commitment to complete the work, wasn’t flexible, and asked her how she could get more creative to make it all work.

If any of Amy’s story feels familiar to you, you’ve experienced workplace resentment.

Resentment is tricky because it often shows up when you’ve ceded away your personal power by agreeing to (or not agreeing to) something that you wanted. This can often happen when you accidentally traded what you wanted in the short term for what matters most in the long term.

However, that often means that resentment is something that you can partially or fully reverse with setting stronger boundaries with your boss or coworkers upfront.

(2) GUILT: DEFINED AS A FEELING OF WORRY OR UNHAPPINESS CAUSED BY KNOWING OR THINKING THAT YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING BAD OR WRONG.

Guilt can show up in your work life when you’ve overcommitted yourself, under-delivered on a project, or perceiving that through your contribution (or lack of contribution), you’ve let someone down.

Note that guilt isn’t the same as shame. As Dr. Brene Brown aptly points out in her most recent TED Talk discussing her research on shame:

“Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior.

Shame is, ‘I am bad.’

Guilt is, ‘I did something bad.’”

“Guilt: I’m sorry. I made a mistake.

Shame: I’m sorry. I am a mistake.”

“Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders…Guilt is inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we’ve done, or failed to do, up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s adaptive.”

That idea — holding up your behavior against who you wanted to be in that moment — is exactly where you can see where a boundary was missing or broken or needed to help you be at your best. From seeing how you wish things had played out instead, you can visualize new opportunities to say “no” to the extra task, or negotiate for a longer deadline, or request help.   

(3) ANGER: DEFINED AS A STRONG FEELING OF ANNOYANCE, DISPLEASURE, OR HOSTILITY THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO HURT SOMEONE OR BE UNPLEASANT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING UNFAIR OR UNKIND THAT HAS HAPPENED

Anger will often manifest itself in this way: Rebecca was working at a job that would look like anybody else’s dream job fighting to protect minority rights on Capitol Hill. She was in a meeting with her supervisor and most of her colleagues when the tone of the meeting’s conversation started to shift to be a bit more informal. Her supervisor might have thought he was making jokes and breaking the ice, but he attempted to do it by making repeated comments about her appearance in front of the whole team, including referring to her as a “girl” and as “sweetheart.” She was trapped in a public venue with this person who wielded a lot of power, and felt she had no recourse to protect or defend herself from his sexist, inappropriate comments. Despite trying to redirect the conversation unsuccessfully, he continued with his misogynistic comments and she started fuming, shut down her contributions in the meeting, and had a firey rage burning inside of her by the end of the meeting.  

If you’re angry, the chances are good that you’re sensing or experiencing an injustice. It could be something like having been looked over for a promotion or new project, or seeing people (including yourself) being treated in a way that’s out of alignment with your values.

Anger can be an incredibly motivational emotion to use as momentum to make a change, so it’s a great place to start with setting a new boundary, whether directly and explicitly with your boss or colleagues, or indirectly through your behavior.

Tell us in the comments: have you noticed any of these “red flag” emotions in your work that are a signal it’s time to draw new or different boundaries in your life? What kind of tools and techniques did you learn from the podcast episode? How do you need to teach people to treat you?

WANT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WORK FITS YOU BEST AND SEE THE TOOLS THAT 15,000 OTHER PEOPLE HAVE USED TO START FINDING WORK THAT FITS? SIGN UP FOR OUR 8-DAY MINI COURSE BELOW!

Learn more about Melody at MelodyWilding.com

Follow Melody on Twitter here.

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Career Confidence with Maxie McCoy

Been dreaming and scheming about making that career change…but not feeling confident enough to make it happen?

If so, you’re not alone.

Everyone tells you that you need to have the confidence to just “go for it” and “be you”! As if it was as easy as miraculously spotting a $100 bill on the sidewalk and picking it up.

After all, there are all these messages about simply “being” confident, self-assured, yourself, fearless, etc. all over Twitter…and really everywhere.

That’s great as a reminder if you already have that level of confidence!

But, the problem is nobody tells you how to get from being at the level of confidence you have right now to being so bold and brave that you trust yourself to “just do it” and “put yourself out there.”

My friend Maxie McCoy and I will show you this method to help you grow more confidence, starting exactly where you are today.

Maxie says that the #1 biggest misconception about confidence is that you need it before you take action. I think she’s right. Take a listen to my conversation with her as she breaks down what people don’t tell you about confidence AND how to do something about it right now!

I know: when we see people who have made huge, epic changes in their lives, they always seem so confident and self-assured. We have episodes of our podcast with former students and clients where they sound like certifiable badasses: Mike Bigelow networked like a boss to get a big raise and custom designed compensation package as he moved in the Pacific Northwest. Tanya Malcolm-Revell had a job created for her at her dream wellness company as an American ex-pat living in London.

They both sound like they must have been completely confident and comfortable in putting themselves out there, asking for what they wanted. And by the end of putting in all the hard work, creating strategic relationships, and re-branding themselves so hiring managers jumped with glee, I’m pretty sure they were a heck of a lot more confident.  

But having spoken to each of them personally along the way, I can tell you that even the most confident, self-assured individuals on the outside have at least a tiny bit of self-doubt on the inside — especially at the beginning.

In observable results, boosted confidence tends to be the product of taking action, rather than the cause.

Maxie’s philosophy matches many other performance coaches for ambitious professionals. For example, when it comes to developing confidence, Strategic Coach founder Dan Sullivan talks about his framework of the 4Cs. He says that in order to get Confidence and Competence, you must start with Courage and Commitment.

Confidence is a product of committing to courageously take un-confident action over and over again.

And action doesn’t come from feeling completely ready and comfortable and 100% prepared. It comes from noticing the excuses you’re making, not letting yourself get away with them anymore, and going for it.

One of the steps in being able to build that sense of self-belief is knowing you don’t have to be comfortable in order to believe, you don’t have to believe in yourself to make that uncomfortable decision or conversation. Taking that uncomfortable step forward will build you believing in yourself.

Maxie McCoy

When you’re considering any big, bold change in your career, making it happen is going to require some guts. On the podcast today, Maxie walks you through a step-by-step system to start developing your confidence.

STEP 1: IDENTIFY WHAT YOU WANT

First things first, get really clear with yourself on the answer to the question: “What do you want?”

Give yourself permission to dream here. If you don’t really want something, it will come as no surprise that you won’t put in a whole lot of effort to cultivate the confidence you’d need to get it.  

So ask yourself: if money was no object, you had unlimited time, and anything was possible, how would you want to contribute to the world?

What would be most meaningful, exciting, motivating for you to look back in a year and say you were able to accomplish?

STEP 2: IDENTIFY ALL THE THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS YOU HAVE AROUND THAT CAREER DESIRE THAT MIGHT BE IMPACTING YOUR CONFIDENCE

Listen up: as soon as you create an idea of what you’d like to do in your career, pay careful attention to the thoughts inside your head. Often times, they won’t be immediately supportive or 100% on board with your idea. But rather than try to ignore them and pretend they aren’t there, pay extra special attention during this stage.  What kind of messages are your thoughts sending you? What beliefs are you unconsciously scanning for data to support?

Write down each and every thought, belief, worry, or idea, so you can get them out of your head and on paper where you have some psychological space to evaluate them. Look at each thought and decide which ones you’d like to put back IN your head. What are the stories you want to be telling yourself?

STEP 3: PREPARE YOUR ARSENAL OF SELF-DOUBT DEFEATING WEAPONS SO YOU CAN LEAVE LOW SELF CONFIDENCE IN YOUR PAST.

Once you’ve identified what you want and the thought patterns you need in order to get it, you’ll also need to remind yourself that you’re awesome.

Stay with me here!

How often in your life do you stop and acknowledge your strengths, gifts and accomplishments? If someone asked you to list the top 10 accomplishments of your life right now, how easy would that be for you?

If you can’t immediately recall the data points that show that you’ve tackled tough challenges in the past, walking through a reflective exercise might be super helpful. 

Some great questions to reflect on are:

  • What are the the things I’m most proud of accomplishing in my life?
  • What experiences in my past prove that I’ve successfully survived challenges or setbacks?
  • What did the biggest disappointments or mistakes in my life teach me, and how did they positively shape the person I am today?

Each of these questions challenges you to frame (or re-frame) your abilities in terms of your grit, perseverance, and historical performance. These traits are critically important to your future performance and successes — and feel darn good to get to reflect on.

Another way to reinforce that you’re awesome, incredibly capable, and an awesome problem solver is to seek out that validation externally.

Who are the people who believe in you and relentlessly cheer you on?

I’ve heard these individuals referred to as your “CEOs,” or Chief Encouragement Officers.

Consciously choosing the people who you allow to influence your life — and ensuring you overindex on supporters — is critically important when you’re cultivating courage, because as Jim Rohn famously said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

So focus on surrounding yourself with positive, thoughtful, excited people who help you show up as your best self.

If doing this part of the reflection helps point out that you need more uplifters in your life, you can use our podcast episodes to rent-a-friend for 45 minutes of knowledge bombs, positivity and inspiration every Monday.

A final thing to do to reinforce the new good thoughts is to develop a mantra. Maxie and I talked about this a lot in the podcast episode, and each shared a couple examples of ours.

If you’re new to the world of positive self-talk, a mantra is a short and powerful phrase you can repeat over and over again in your mind that helps you focus on the task at hand without the distractions of self-doubt filling up your mind. I think about a mantra like a worry stone or a security blanket for the brain.

Mine is “You can do this,” which my daughter MacKenzie has picked up and uses to psych herself up before the school play.

Two of Maxie’s mantras are: “Big magic requires big discomfort” and “Trust it, trust it, trust it.”

A former Navy Seal and founder of SEALFIT, Mark Divine’s mantra that allows him to do feats like hold a plank pushup for 5 minutes is: “Looking good, feeling good, I should be in Hollywood.”

What’s an empowering mantra you can use to re-wire your brain to be 100% committed to your success?

STEP 4: EVALUATE THE WORST CASE SCENARIO, AND CREATE A GAME PLAN TO DEAL WITH IT

The last piece in the confidence puzzle is allowing your fears to play out.

I know this seems counterintuitive, but trust me on this. Take a moment to articulate: what is the worst case scenario if you go after your dream?

Write down the specific harms that could come to you in taking this risk. Don’t let the fears swirl around inside you as uncomfortable feelings — make them real and tangible potential results of taking action.

Now that you’ve got a fairly uncomfortable picture painted in front of you, we can face the reality that the likelihood of your Worst Case Scenario coming true is rather low. Low, but perhaps not completely impossible.

So the true last step of the confidence boost process is: If everything you’re afraid of all came true, and it all happened exactly as you imagine, how would you handle it? What would you do?

A simple question with incredibly empowering answers. Writing it out helps your brain see the problem clearly and process it accurately. And usually, this is the part where you realize: “Oh, I would survive if this happened. Maybe have a bruised ego or be out some money, but I could find a path to the other side.”

The truth of confidence is that when you’re courageous and committed to action, you get incredibly scrappy because of your grit, and you find a path forward. It may not look anything like you’d planned, but you’ll find a way.

Download the worksheet now to walk through this exercise to start boosting your confidence right now!

Let us know in the comments: do you think you have low confidence? After you’ve walked through this process and used our worksheet, how do you feel equipped differently to get out there, take action, and start developing more confidence and self-belief?

Resources Mentioned:

maxiemccoy.com

office.com/dreamjob

https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/5-powerful-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html

https://zenhabits.net/25-killer-actions-to-boost-your-self-confidence/

 

Scott Barlow: This is Happen to Your Career. We help you stop doing work that doesn’t fit you, figure out what does, and make it happen. Whether you are looking to do your own thing or find your dream job you have come to the right place. I’m Scott Barlow.

Scott Barlow: I’m here with my guest, who I’m so excited to bring on today. I’m going to dive deep into her story because she has a really interesting one and we will spend a big chunk of time discussing something I’ve really wanted to on the show for a long time, which is all about self-confidence. We’ll get into that. Welcome to Happen To Your Career Maxie McCoy. How are you?

Maxie McCoy:  I’m wonderful thank you for having me today. I can’t wait for the conversation we are going to have.

Scott Barlow: We are going to do this, we are diving right in. All of the things for all of the people. I told you before we hit the go button that you have an interesting story and I want to start with that. But before that how do you describe what you do now?

Maxie McCoy: I answer based on what I am on this earth to do right now. Pure and simple I’m obsessed with giving people the tools they need to believe in themselves. I think self-belief and confidence opens up a gate to move our lives forward. I write and I speak and that takes different forms. Anytime I say that to somebody in a cab or lift line they say that is very kindergarten of you. It works.

Scott Barlow: How kindergarten of you.

Maxie McCoy: Yeah, thanks guys.

Scott Barlow: That makes me more curious. Where does that start for you? Let’s go way back.

Maxie McCoy: I’m going to go back to obsessing over watching Oprah from the second I had a television on. You will appreciate, I would watch and watch, I love her, and I’d pitch stories to try and get on the show. I don’t know what I came up with as a young kid but I was always obsessed with broadcast and writing to her and putting stories out into the world. She is the reason I got my first email address. I’d write stories and they shifted to submitting via email. My first email was because I pulled my big sister aside and told her I need an email so I could write Oprah. We will find the ridiculous things I wrote one day. It has been in my DNA to be able to use my voice, and my natural inclination of being comfortable in front of groups, and conveying messages, and being naturally passionate. It became a journey of figuring out where you focus that so it’s true to me and being the highest value and intent to help other people.

Scott Barlow: I’m curious, I’ve gotten to know you a little. I think I know what you mean, but everyone else is getting to know you now. When you say “of the highest intent to help other people,” what do you mean?

Maxie McCoy: I mean being able to hold up a mirror so other people can see what I see. That they have everything they need to do what they want to do whether it’s a job transition, launching their own business, taking the next step in their life that might seem scary at the time. For me it’s holding up the mirror so they can see their own potential and ability and believe in that to take that action. That is what I mean.

Scott Barlow: Interesting, I love that. I’m curious where do you think all these things come from for you? You talked about being comfortable in front of groups, were you born with that and grew up with it? Where does it start?

Maxie McCoy: What is interesting about that question, at the time, it started young, there are so many stories of me always, and it looked negative at the time, people telling me I was too loud and I talked to much. Whether it was just wanting to be in front of people started early and then I was able to funnel those into skills. I started theater and wanted to be on the speech and debate team. As you get older, and then into sports broadcasting, and we’ll get into the story. It was the refinement of taking what was natural to me, that I got a lot of crap for growing up, whether from friends or people around you or neighbors trying to put their thumb on your fire to be more normal. I’ve never been a “normal” person. I fit this into the framework of talking to people in believing in themselves.

Those differences that make us unique from a young age, that we try to fit into someone else’s molds, society or Instagram’s molds. Are the exact things, and I’m sure you have a similar story. Often those who have started showcasing their talents for the good of other people have these stories of things that made us different and thanks to a mentor or community or own development started showing as not something we should change but something to be bold enough to take forward. For me that was being able to have a message and be comfortable with groups, be writing, and be a cheerleader for people. The frustration for a long time was how do you make a business out of that, what does it mean? Slowly but surely it has turned into this. I’m very grateful.

Scott Barlow: That is so interesting. We call that whole concept of the negative side of things that are innately you, the anti-strengths. Which is the perceived downside. We had to make up a term because I couldn’t find a term.

Maxie McCoy: Like the shadows to your strengths.

Scott Barlow: What some other people will perceive as the down side. What we perceive as the down side to the stuff ingrained in us and the stuff we are good at. There are always two sides.

Maxie McCoy: There are. When you talk about strengths my biggest is woo - winning others over. It’s amazing as a tool in my business but the shadow to woo is the people you are the most comfortable with, you recharge with. You aren’t as on. For me I’ve had to realize how to taper that so a whole bunch of strangers weren’t getting the best of me and the people closest getting Maxie recharging. I agree. It looks a lot of different ways over the course of our lives.

Scott Barlow: I don’t think people think about that. For you it sounds like it came out that people were putting their thumb on you trying to make you more normal.

Maxie McCoy: Putting their thumb on my fire.

Scott Barlow: That is kind of the progression everyone goes through to some degree. No one is normal truly.

Maxie McCoy: No one is normal. We are only as normal as we let other voices allow us to be.

Scott Barlow: Knowing that and as you are trying to find a way out from other people’s thumbs for your fire when did you move into you first professional gig? Let’s start there.

Maxie McCoy: All of this started to evolve. I played volleyball in college and grew up in Texas, the biggest football fan and obsessed with sports. I was part of a sports family and an athlete. In college my holy grail of an experience was being able to intern at ESPN. That is all wanted. If you know anything about this internship, it's some ridiculous number like 30,000 people apply and 72 kids get it. I just made those numbers up, but it is something like that. I won’t forget being like holy cow. I knew I wanted to eventually end up there. I wanted to be in communications and PR in college. I went in knowing I was going to be a journalism major. I love communication more than anything.

I ended up having no idea how to end up at ESPN when the numbers are against me with no contacts. My junior year I decided nothing is going to stop me. I joined a few associations where I knew they gave you the manual of people that worked in various companies and contact information. That was part of joining. For one of them I took a highlighter to the directory, The Association of Women in Sports Media. I highlighted every woman that worked for ESPN and cold emailed them. The only one to respond was the highest ranked woman there at the time, Rosa Gatti. She took a chance on me, took a phone call and circulated my resume and said she would help me, and the rest is my door to run through. I got an internship at ESPN. I’ll never forget that interview or experience. I was in the communications department and looked around me and I thought this is amazing on Facebook and to tell people this is my first big internship coming toward the end of college. I had small jobs before that. This was a big name and ego boost.

It just become a conversation of looking around and feeling the emptiness. This coolness wore off and now what do I do with this. Someone in internal communications pulled me aside. They have an entire internal television show and programming that goes to all 7000 employees around the world. He said I had a face and voice and energy for camera work. We did that and I loved that. I started putting in all my other experiences to various internships and doing stuff with NFL films, and freelance stuff for ESPN while still in college. My first big opportunity out of college, once I had real experience, like got on camera and landed at Fox Sports SW in Dallas my hometown covering high school football. That is the end all be all of southern sports. The segment was three minutes every week. Nothing, but such a big deal to me. I was in a top five market. It was massive entrance into the world in something.  I’m doing it. My big star of a goal is to host SportsCenter on ESPN one day. It was a great first beginning.

Scott Barlow: That is super cool. In a lot of ways, it also begs the question what happened next? You did all this. First of all, let’s acknowledge you took the time to cold email an entire list of people after identifying where you could get their contact information in the first place. Which is huge, very few people will take the time to do that.

Maxie McCoy: My God I’m the scrappiest. If I want to find you I will find you. My dad always said, and I still tell people this, and think this, the worst they can say is no.

Scott Barlow: Exactly.

Maxie McCoy: So after that, after the on air gig at Fox I was there contractually through the season and dabbling and learning to edit. There are a lot of big time broadcasters with a lot of advice. I looked around and knew if I wanted to move up and got instruction and advice I needed to make my reps and mistakes in a smaller market. I started the dance of talking to small markets and interviewing for morning shows and news shows with small viewership so I could get this under my belt. As I was doing that none of it felt right. A lot of things were happening. Was it the fact I didn’t want to read sports scores off a teleprompter my entire life? Probably. Was it that I had a big shiny goal of ending up in Bristol, Connecticut where ESPN headquarters are one day? I know what Bristol looks like and it’s not that exciting. Probably. Is it because when I look at small markets I think of where did these people end up that started their jobs here? Not anywhere I want to be.

The people I want to be went and were experts in something other than being a broadcaster. Truly. You look at Savannah Guthrie and she is phenomenal and the host of the today show and a phenomenal lawyer in Arizona first and then made her way over. It started to matriculate for me. Digital is changing the face of everything we do. I didn’t have a language for it at the time but it felt like a total meltdown in my soul. Hindsight is 20/20. I know all the things going on for me at the time. Serendipitously, there is a lot of serendipity and grace in my story, I had a trip booked to San Francisco, some really strong mentors and best friends from college are out here. I was doing these interviews and not wanting to take small gigs in small towns. I don't know what I’m doing with my life, it was an early onset quarter life crisis at the time.

I had an opportunity to take a job out here with a mentor of mine who was running a nonprofit that had a sports component to it. That was nothing in my plan. I’m very goal oriented and a futuristic person, it wasn’t in my plan, but something felt right. Coming to the city felt right and working in an intense situation with someone with an absolutely amazing amount of business experience felt right. I made the decision to leave Dallas and move to San Francisco and embark on a very different journey. It still had the sports piece. Maybe this is what I’m looking for, something with meaning rather than just a lot of hair and makeup and being in front of the camera, which was what it was feeling like. It wasn’t aligned with what I was here to do.

Scott Barlow: Let me ask you about that. Because that is a struggle so many people that are listening to this now are wrangling with. How did you start to identify, partially you were taking a chance and relying on gut feeling, but how did you identify that is what you needed to take a chance on?

Maxie McCoy: I think at that point in time it was a matter of feeling so lost. I wasn’t sure what to do. It was an opportunity that felt right. I did that. However when you fast forward in the story I have much clearer advice. Taking that role, I got nine months in and it wasn’t it. Again I was looking and thinking it’s not it either. I’m not passionate about kids. Literacy is not my thing. It has sports but that was ancillary. Is sports what I’m here to do? I decided almost in a place of being on my knees and not knowing and being in discomfort, not knowing who to talk to. Job boards meant nothing to me because I had no idea what I was doing.

I got really clear with myself. You are going to peel back the onion on the things that are core to you. In the same way I knew how to step foot on that college campus at 18 and sign up for journalism, writing has always been my first love. I’m miserable in my work so how do I go back to my first love to something I love to do and is creative and fuels me? What do I want to write about? I looked back on the years of having so many friends wanting my advice in areas such as careers and what to do with their lives, which was ironic because I had no idea what I was doing with mine. I’ve always been an achiever. I hid it a little. I’m the one everyone called and sent their resume too or wanted to know how to connect or best write an email. It was a natural inclination and magnetism I had on those areas. Not with just friends but younger teammates, people in the sports department.

I signed up for a writing class working with a nonfiction agent and you had to come in with an idea. I’m going to dedicate my Tuesday nights to this and write about what fires me up. The importance of mentors and sponsors. What Rosa had done for me at ESPN, and what someone did to get me that first job in San Francisco. Down to how I got the Fox opportunity because someone was a mentor and believed in me and was willing to hand my stuff over. Everything came from a relationship and somebody put their political capital out. I saw how that moved me forward in those relationships I built. I started writing about it.

I was writing a book proposal about the importance of mentors and sponsors with millennial women and their careers. I interviewed high profile leaders and one of my classmates brought in the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle, the businesses section, and on the front were two founders of the company Levo, the number one destination for millennials in their careers. I contacted them and that ended up being the rocket ship that launched my career. They were building a business around the same principles as my book proposal. The book proposal was just something I wanted to write about, that was the class. I started writing for them and getting to know their product. Over the course of twelve weeks I was able to create my position with them. I was like the fifth or sixth employee. I spent the next three years building out the global communities in 30 cities throughout the world and building the curriculum that went with it. I had the role of a lifetime and one that propelled me. The biggest reason I am where I am today. It was the most magical, star lining, grace of an experience. All of that came from really stepping back into roots and asking tough questions of what is it and what do I do when all else is going wrong. What do I really care about and putting the focus back there. It opened up the opportunity that changed everything.

Scott Barlow: That is so interesting you threw a one-liner out there saying it came from reflection and doing the hard work. Just putting the focus back there. There is so much buried there, saying put the focus back there. I’m hearing that you identified what was important, like writing, and said how do I embed this in my life. I think a lot of people struggle with that. First, it’s hard to identify what is important but then how do I get it into my life. You took a class on it right?

Maxie McCoy: What I think is interesting is when we are in tough moments that make us feel like we are in the middle of career crisis and that we are screwing up or wrong, lost or however we describe it, those blow ups are what allow the magic to show up if you are looking. It’s really being able to not make a disaster of your life when it feels like one but treating it as a guardrail and bumpers and big blinking neon signs that force you to look elsewhere. Reframe the negative and say if all of this is going wrong, and it doesn’t have to be a career, but something that lights us up again and allows us to create, to have an outlet. You never know where it will go. It doesn’t have to be for money at the beginning. Mine wasn’t, I just needed creativity again and passion. It led to this insane opportunity and experience.

Scott Barlow: Let’s acknowledge serendipity for a second, I haven’t had any good discussions on that for a while and you said it would come back around. I thought I wrote it down, it was so good, but I didn’t. You said you have to take what is important to you and embed it into your life and intentionally decide it is going to happen. Is serendipity all that serendipitous?

Maxie McCoy: This is how I think about this. You are going to appreciate this, I got shirts printed that say #universe on them because I’m so obsessed with universe moments and how they communicate to me and show up in my life in really meaningful ways. A universe moment is serendipity. It is a meaningful coincidence that isn’t a coincidence. I sometimes call it grace. It means you are taking chances, putting the work in, your nose is to the grindstone and it allows something in hindsight that is amazing. I was two seconds from never signing up for the writing class. I didn’t think I would have the balls to not work on Tuesday nights, because I was working that much. I was scared to tell the person I was working for that Tuesday nights were off the grid because I had 3 hours in a class. I was that on demand working style.

It was a financial investment having just moved to San Francisco and getting used to what life looked like. Not that I couldn’t do it or it was irresponsible but was it the right place to put my money? This is hard and conversations I don’t want to have, budgeting I don’t want to do. I woke up one morning and thought no, I am signing up for this, and it feels right. Less than 6 weeks later someone is putting something in front of me I never would have seen, I don’t read the chronicle. I never would have known about these girls starting this business until it is what it is now. That to me is, me taking the risk, showing up every Tuesday, writing about what was important, and allowing the serendipity to show up.

Scott Barlow: I remember what you said. It’s the paying attention part of it after taking actions like that that allows it to show up.

Maxie McCoy: It's lifting your head up and paying attention to our lives to the things that energize us, people, and connections. It is stepping away from the crap to take it all in. That is a whole other wellness and stillness topic. It’s important.

Scott Barlow: That leads us down a different road. It took a confidence moment to be able to say, and tell my boss I can’t be available on Tuesday nights and I am going to decide and have confidence to put my money here and invest in myself. So many of us struggle with that. I’d love to delve into confidence because a lot of times that is the core that stops us from acting and the fears and then how do we do something about that. I’d love to get there. All the answers, people, things. Go.

Maxie McCoy: There are so many. The confidence piece, it depends on where you are in your journey, this deep sense of self-belief. It doesn’t just show up. It’s the small actions that breed self-efficacy. Stepping into the unknown is big. Being able to get more comfortable to know you did it this time because you did it last time and you lived. There were times where having this conversation of saying Tuesday nights I am not available was like the biggest toughest conversation I had to have. Fast forward three years and I’m saying I’m getting rid of everything that I love, moving to Bali for a year, and launching my own business. That took a higher sense of self-belief than that conversation three and a half years before it. However, they all matter just as much.

When you’re willing to tiptoe into that level of discomfort, which is required for anything we want to do, I know it sounds cliché but the magic absolutely happens outside of your comfort zone. It doesn’t matter if you are starting your own business, negotiating and asking for more, asking for flexibility, starting a blog and putting writing into the world, that requires an appetite for discomfort we all like to shy away from. As you do something that makes you uncomfortable as soon as you tiptoe there you realize I made it through that, I lived, and I’m super happy about the outcome. It starts to build this wheel of I can do this.

The discomfort you have an appetite for gets bigger. What you were willing to do know as opposed to four years ago are game changing. That one was just as important. One of the steps in being able to build that sense of self-belief is knowing you don’t have to be comfortable in order to believe, you don’t have to believe in yourself to make that uncomfortable decision or conversation. Taking that uncomfortable step forward will build you believing in yourself.

Scott Barlow: That almost seems like a catch 22, in order to get more comfortable and build confidence you have to be uncomfortable and have no confidence in a particular area. No one goes in like it’s no big deal.

Maxie McCoy: It’s always a big deal. The small discomforts that become big discomforts are wonderful reflections of where you have moved your life to but they all matter. Anyone who doesn’t feel confident enough to make this hard decision. Here is another piece of the puzzle. People and your community are one of the most important things you can have and fuel yourself with. Tony Robbins says this and I’m obsessed, “Our success is a direct reflection of the expectation of our friend group, peer group.” When you look at the people around you if they are expecting you to stay small and do what everyone else is doing and not take the risks that is where we stay. If you surround yourself with people that believe you are going to be President of the U.S., that you are going to launch that business, that you are the best podcaster on the planet, what starts to happen is eventually your expectations will match theirs. They help fill the void. When you are really unwilling to step into that discomfort or you are scared, their opinions of how awesome you are and their support will propel you into that. Let’s not underestimate the importance of sticky notes with inspiration of how you can do this. With some of the hardest decisions you have to do some of the simplest tactical things to remind yourself that you can step into it no matter how uncomfortable.

Scott Barlow: Let’s pause for a second and get real tactical for a moment and compare notes. Sticky notes are one and ones with quotes. What are some of the tactical ways you use to remind yourself?

Maxie McCoy: They are small reminders. Sticky notes is a real thing. When I was making a decision to go out on my own and move on from my position at Levo I could not believe this decision I had to make and how scared I was and the tough conversations. I bathed my desk and laptop with cheesy quotes like “big magic requires big discomfort”, the cliché things. To be able to talk myself out of fear because all that fear is just your mind going haywire. That brings me to another piece, mantras are massive. Truly so much of this is controlling our thoughts and not believing all of them and monitoring your thoughts to develop confidence.

Scott Barlow: Explain that when you say monitor your thoughts.

Maxie McCoy: Paying attention to the thoughts happening in your head whether it's going crazy saying you are making the worst decision, that you don’t have what it takes. You are going to go broke. Paying attention to those thoughts and immediately shutting them down. I say mantras. One I say if I’m worried about the future I repeat trust it, trust it, trust it. Finding sentences you can repeat when your brain is sending fear driven thoughts. That is one, a big one.

Scott Barlow: Very cool. I’m trying to think, it might have changed a lot over the years. I use mantras too. One I’m thinking of that sounds silly but works, is “you can do this.” I realized a funny thing the other day. I evidently say this a lot because my daughter, who is eight, was going into a play and she was saying “you can do this”. Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize I do that that often.

Maxie McCoy: That makes my entire heart swell. You bring up an important point. Some of the most tactical things, whether we call them cliché, or duh, they make a big difference. Success leaves a trail and clues. You talk to anyone who has consistently pushed their life to be bigger requires a level of discomfort and tactical things that seem simple when built into a lifestyle make a difference. One of my favorites that is helpful to people transitioning into things they have never done - worst case scenarios have been a massive gift for me. Not that I’m obsessed with tragedy. When you sit down and look at a situation and think of the worst case scenario and write it all down in the most detail and get comfortable with it. What you often find is it is not the actual worst case. You could completely handle it and you just have to do x,y, z. When you are ready for that and can handle it you can make the decision. What I have found that worst case scenario, 9 out of 10 times is never going to happen. If it does, you figure it out. You find a way. It happened for me once. It was all fine. While I was in it I was coming up with solutions.

Scott Barlow: That is fantastic. I’ve done that same thing. For me it helps me dissipate the fear. It doesn’t take it away but ratchets it down. You are truly a delight. That is the first word that pops into my mind. You are delightful.

Maxie McCoy: I so appreciate that. I have been through the experience so many people are in. It’s a journey and constant process of figuring it out. When you can look at yourself and realize you have everything you need to do it, it changes in a beautiful way.

Scott Barlow: Maxie this has been phenomenal. I appreciate you making the time. A couple questions. One where can they get more Maxie? And what are you working on right now and what are you excited about? Tell us a little of all of that.

Maxie McCoy: Well they all go together and I appreciate that you asked me. Everything with me can be found on my site maxiemccoy.com. All of my handles are @maxiemccoy, Facebook and Twitter, it’s all there. One of the things I do on my site that I’m passionate about and people can look at it is having a community. I mentioned it in the aspect of how people can mirror back our own success. We monthly have a theme. I’m obsessed with building out curriculum and worksheets and webinars dedicated to a theme if you want to go beyond my weekly writings and videos.

I have so many exciting things happening right now for my business. You and I were just talking about how we are both just a year plus out from going out on our own. I have partnered with Microsoft on this amazing campaign on how to land your dream job. So many people are looking for that opportunity that allows them to put a lot of intentionality back into their lives because our careers are the cornerstone of so much of what we do. Especially this day and age. I got to talk to people about self-reflection and belief and the things you can do to look inward and have the tools to showcase that. We used all my Maxie tips in the job search with resumes and Skype, pulling on my broadcast experience. We worked with Moo, an amazing digital design and print company that did all my cards and thank yous. I was a lover of them well before this. We created templates for resumes that are beautiful and functional. None of us want to deal with a resume so we can use these templates to showcase who we really are that is beautiful and a good physical manifestation of who we are. That is at office.com/dreamjob. That is the big thing I’m working on now and am so excited and passionate about.

Scott Barlow: That is super cool. I didn’t tell you this last time but I’m so excited you are doing that. Last time around when those templates got put in everyone used those as a standard and Microsoft made a good attempt but it wasn’t the best. I’m excited you are improving those.

Maxie McCoy: We are upping the game. They are all in Word, we upped the game. We got smart people involved.

Scott Barlow: No one is bias here but I agree.

Maxie McCoy: To help and put pointers in and be the best reflection of who we are.

Scott Barlow: This is so cool. Thank you so much again. I do appreciate you making the time Maxie. It’s been a pleasure.

Maxie McCoy: Scott, thank you.

 












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Decluttering your Life with Angela Wagner

When you think of yoga, you might think of something relaxing, gentle, and filled with ease. Yet, as I learned from today’s podcast guest Angela Wagner, founder of Dallas YogaSport, the Power Yoga practice of the Baptiste school is the kind of intense sweat session that Type A motivated and ambitious professionals are attracted to.

(People just like our clients here at HTYC!)

They’re attracted to the Baptiste Power Yoga style of practice because it causes you to be so intensely engaged in the movement and the flow that you can lose track of time — and at the end of it, you feel completely exhausted and also energized. You surrender to the movement. Through that commitment, you experience both a workout and self-care.

Doesn’t that level of engagement sound rad? That same deep engagement can create deep, rich satisfaction with your work.

In order to get to that level of depth in your yoga practice (or in your life), you have to be willing to surrender the baggage that you brought into the yoga studio with you: the stress from your day, the worries about what’s for dinner, the questions about whether you’re getting a promotion. All of it has to melt away to allow you to get to the depth of presence and exertion that’s possible.

And it’s true in life, too: to become true masters of our craft, we have to let go of the buzzing of thought baggage and find work that allows us to settle in. It’s hard to do — but for the people who are willing to try it, the rewards of a de-cluttered mind and path are incredibly worth it.

If the idea of Marie Kondo-ing your brain sounds intriguing to you, keep reading.

This is a great place where the “how you do anything is how you do everything” principle can apply, and you can see how tendencies that show up in one part of your life will often bleed over into other arenas.

Pick a topic you’re feeling a lot of anxiety or discomfort around when you think about it. Whatever tends to send your brain spinning into a panic or stress is a great place to start.

What kinds of things drive you up the wall crazy?

For perfectionists, it can be having something out of order, not serving its purpose, or not fully being able to master a skill. (Maybe you’re striving to be a PivotTables master, but not there yet.)

For people who love to serve others, it can be someone in your life who isn’t asking for help but you can see needs it.

For individuals who value peace and harmony in their lives, it can be disagreements, relationship friction, or others’ feuds that weigh on your mind.

If you are the kind of person who tends to be overly accommodating and compromising, it could be resentment about having surrendered your personal power to help make someone else’s life easier. (The “I don’t know what possessed me to help pitch in on that deadline and cancel my sister’s birthday party” kind of nagging mental clutter thought.)

Or if you tend to be a people pleaser, your frustration probably has the word “should” in it, like “I should call my mom more often,” or “I should bring my lunch to work every day.”

Now take a moment to ask yourself: what items drive you nuts? What thoughts, beliefs or stories are distracting you, adding stress, or not increasing the joy in your life right now?  

If we treat these irritations and frustrations the same way we’d treat clutter at home, Angela (or Marie Kondo, for that matter) wouldn’t want you to have this mess laying out in the open in your living room, walking past it and feeling irritated about it every single day.

Instead of blindly walking past it or pretending it isn’t there, if it was a pile of trash in your home, you’d take care of it and throw it out!

You can apply the same principle to a mental cleaning: it’s time to take care of the thing that’s bugging you, rather than letting it sit and fester and take up precious mental energy.

So question number one to ask yourself is why is that pile of mental junk there? Why do you care? What makes that important to you? What’s keeping that thought at the forefront of your brain, rather than being something you’ve already taken care of?

Writing down your ideas and reflections about this can reveal potential hidden conflicts between your values, and help you see why you’ve been stuck in mental clutter.

For example, if you’ve been struggling with feeling like you can’t master Excel and spreadsheets, ask yourself why you care and what makes that so important to you. Is it because you actually want to, and you’re not creating the time? Or is it because you feel like it’s a skill that would help advance your career, but not something you actually have any internal drive or interest in learning?

Now, ask yourself: what’s most important right now? And, what do I need to stop so I can focus on what’s most important?

Having your brain hyperfocused on learning Excel like a dog hyperfocused on gnawing  a bone is often a symptom of a bigger priorities issue. Maybe what’s most important is doing work that you love, and you thought Excel was going to be something that you’d love, but it’s actually just a way to appease your boss.

Or maybe what’s most important right now isn’t learning a new skill, it’s honing the ones you’ve already learned.

Or perhaps mastering Excel IS the most important thing right now, and other things in life are getting in the way (stupid administrative reports, too many meetings, etc). By identifying what matters most, you know how to take action to remove mental clutter from your brain and let you get back into the focus zone you love.

The more you apply this process, the deeper you’ll be able to drop into the flow of your own life.

Tell us in the comments below: what’s a piece of mental clutter that’s been causing you stress? Why is the clutter there, and how can you focus on what’s most important so you can keep moving and get back into flow in your own life?

ABOUT ANGELA:

Angela Wagner is a mom, wife, entrepreneur, Life & Wellness Coach, Certified Yoga Teacher, and podcaster. She founded her successful power yoga studio, YogaSport, in 2004, and in 2010 launched the Spark program – a guided program that helps busy people create time, stress less, and enjoy life more.  In her coaching work, she teaches women to go from overwhelm and exhaustion to freedom, joy, and inspiration. Take the first step towards clarity with her free 7 Day Challenge:  7 Simple Steps To Make Your Life Sparkle So You Can Stress Less And Do More at www.angelawagnercoaching.com and listen to her Spark podcast on iTunes here.

RESOURCES:

Marie Kondo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Marie Kondo, Spark Joy

YogaSportDallas.com

Remote Workers and Travel with Adda Birnir

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO FINDING AND DOING REMOTE WORK

The number of people that have come to us recently to have us help them find remote work that they can do from home or at least on their terms is huge!

Even right before I started writing this guide, I was on a coaching call where I was helping one of our Career Change Bootcamp students negotiate working remotely into her job offer. (BTW she sent me a note afterwards saying Negotiations had gone well!) #Woohoo

I think that it’s pretty safe to say that many of us want more flexibility in our life and work!

For this reason we brought Adda Birnir, the CEO of SkillCrush.com, to discuss remote work on the Happen to Your Career podcast. Not only does her company work entirely remotely but also they teach people (especially women) to code (which is one profession that is incredibly flexible) She’s a champion of remote work, diversity in tech, and getting women back into the workforce on their own terms.

You might be thinking, “An all-remote team? A place to work where I can be location independent? Surely that can’t be real.”

But we’ve been running a location independent team and business ever since the beginning of Happen to Your Career. Right now, we have team members living in Washington, New York, North Carolina, California, Ohio, and even Bali.  And earlier this year, my family and I worked from Portugal and then from France for 6 weeks. It was a huge challenge…and it was awesome!

Some people might look at that and be insanely jealous and say: “That must be nice FOR THEM. That could never happen for me. I’m not even totally sure where to find remote work.

After helping thousands of people get that fits the lifestyle they want to live, we’ve seen 3 common ways our students get remote or much more flexible work.

  1. Make your current job much more flexible
  2. Change to a company that allows (and values) working remotely
  3. Get “mad skills” that allow you to work remotely (for this one definitely listen to the podcast as Adda goes deep into some ways to do this)

Click here for the guide
MAKE YOUR CURRENT JOB MORE FLEXIBLE

I’ve had so many people ask me how to do this that I have literally had this coaching conversation hundreds of times!

Here are the simple (but not easy) steps to ask your current boss for more flexibility in your job.

Here’s a clip from my appearance on “The Suitcase Entrepreneur” describing exactly how to negotiate telecommuting

1.  You must be a high performer.

If you’re not already, it won’t matter what you ask isn’t going to work. Conversely your boss must view you as a high performer too.

Remember this doesn’t just mean you do your job well, it means that you get results + you make your boss’s life easier + they like you and want to support you!

When you’re invaluable to your boss, it becomes very possible to negotiate for things like work time, salary, telecommuting, and flexibility.

If you have any doubt that this is the case then follow the steps in our “Ultimate Guide to Negotiating a Raise” before you ask for more flexibility.

2.  What’s in it for them?

If you want my personal guarantee that it WON’T work, go in and say something like;

“My spouse and I have talked it over, we need more flexibility in our life so that we can adopt some kittens, travel the world and honestly, I just work better after I’ve slept in until 9am”

Your boss will be surprised, but neither of you will be pleased with the outcome.

Instead consider what will actually work build a case with what actually is useful to your company or better yet, your boss!

Here’s a list of some examples from actual proposals that are good for you AND your boss

“I’ve learned that on the couple times I’ve worked from home, I get almost twice as much project work done. Seriously I measured it, about 1 hour for what takes me 1.75 hours at the office”

“I plan on using the extra time that I would have been commuting to work on the Conversions project so I can take that off of your plate”

I make my clients write out specifically how it benefits your employer and your boss (and your team) before ever asking.

3.  Ask for a trial

If nobody else at your work is working from home right now, then it’s unlikely that your boss is going to be all smiles and giggles at the prospect of going from zero to having you only available by laptop because you’re in Fiji. (plus the wifi is terrible in Fiji)

Instead, consider asking for a trial period first.

Here’s how that might sound

“Could we try me telecommuting from home for 2 days a week. After 1 month we can review if it’s working and whether the results are what we thought. If it’s great and I’m getting more work done we can keep going, if not we can simply end the trial or adjust down.”

The psychology of “asking for a trial” is that if you ask for something permanent your boss will perceive risk. Instead when you give your boss the control to reverse the decision if it’s not working and putting specific limitations on the decision, then it removes that risk.

My experience with doing this myself is that if you do step number 4 well then rarely does your boss decide cut off your flexibility fun!

4.  Kick Ass at your Job (More than you usually do)

Be more productive than you’ve ever been. Make your boss believe this is possibly the best decision they’ve ever made.

I personally when i’ve done this myself have kept time logs so that I could show metrics (in hours) of exactly how much more output I was making vs. being in the office.

When your time to review your progress comes around go ahead and pat yourself on the back because you’ve successfully negotiated flexible work!

Sometimes your company just won’t go for it, or maybe you just don’t like your company that much. If that’s the case you should plan on making a change.

FIND ORGANIZATIONS THAT ALLOW REMOTE WORK

Here’s the very first question that comes up when we suggest this as an option nearly every time

“How do I know what companies allow me to work remotely or have flexibility?

The cool thing here is there is no shortage of ways to find out

My absolute favorite way is to look for companies that are already posting jobs that allow you to work from home or work remotely. You can even download our complete list of remote and flexible work resources and websites.

Once you’ve found a company that you’re interested in begin your own list of “Target Companies”.

If you’ve read anything on Happen to Your Career at all before, you know that we believe that it won’t be just one element that makes you happy in your work, meaning that you will need to learn first what your ideal company actually looks like before “getting married” to them just because they offer remote work.

You can be working remotely (good!) but still be hating life and your job (not as good ? ).

Answer a few of these questions for yourself first before adding them as a company that you’re really interested in working with.

  • Does this company value the same things I value (based on what you can tell right now from your research)
  • Am I excited about what the company does OR what type of work I might get to do?
  • Does this company have opportunities that leverage my strengths?

If you’re struggling to answer these questions for yourself, let alone for companies you’re considering, use our “Figure out what Career Fits you” 8 day email course to get started or check out HTYC coaching for even more help to make it much easier.

ACQUIRE THE “TYPES OF SKILLS” THAT ALLOW YOU TO WORK REMOTELY

There are some skillsets that make “remote work” much more available to you than others.

First of all think about it, for most remote work it’s going to require technology to allow it to happen in the first place. This doesn’t require you to be tech junkie, but it does mean you must know your way around a computer and be able to problem solve when the web cam or your microphone all of a sudden no longer works. (and it will, trust me!)

On top of that there are some skills and professions that are much more “socially accepted” for remote work (or more companies that allow for remote work need these skillsets)

Here’s a list of some examples of types of positions that are regularly posted

  • Copy writer
  • Editors
  • Graphic Designers
  • UX (User Experience) Designers
  • Developers
  • Account Executive (in charge of a region or sales territory)
  • Software Engineer
  • Traffic Growth Manager
  • Motion Designer

Note that most of these have something to do with technology OR they require skills that are portable

We’ve found that there are usually 3 roads to acquiring these skills or experience that are relatively quick

  1. Take on projects in your existing job that will force you to develop skillsets and apply them. For example in my HR job, I volunteered to create a local website for internal communication and internal job postings. I had no idea what I was doing but it forced me to learn AND gave me real skills that have been useful ever since.

In nearly 100% of cases we’ve found there are already existing opportunities in your current role to leverage skill development, yes it might mean that you have to work a little more to do it but stop and think about what you’re doing if you take on new schooling or training, which often you will be paying for instead of getting paid to do.

  1. Take a program or a class. This can mean a specific degree through a university but honestly those are usually far more expensive for what you get and the time you’re putting into them. At $30,000+ on average it’s often not a good return on your time and money investment.

Instead look for specific courses that teach you a particular skillset

Here’s two examples:

Schoolofmotion.com –  This is an online school for Motion Designers run by my friend Joey Korenman and his team. Joey’s training is regarded as some of the best in the biz and is over $100,000 less costly than some other alternatives for motion design (like the type that you see in Pixar Movies)

SkillCrush.com – This is Adda’s company that we mentioned above (listen to the podcast audio or read the transcript here if you haven’t already) they teach digital skillsets like coding in an online format for far cheaper than the computer science degree that I went part of the way through in college.

These are only two examples of many, but first learn what skillsets you’d actually enjoy be talking to people that are using them right now, then you can research which programs may be the best fit for you.

  1. Just start doing the work. This is the trial and error method.

It can range from helping out a friend who needs that kind of work done to test out whether you like it at all while learning what you can on free youtube videos, all the way to freelancing on a place like Fiverr.com or even starting your own side business.

Always consider your “opportunity cost”

If you say “yes” to one opportunity, like taking a course or taking on freelance work, that means by default you are saying “no” to other things you’re doing with that time and money. Keep in mind 100% of these ways we’ve suggested are going to cost you either time or money to acquire skills.

The rule of thumb that we use for our students is: if you’re paying more money then you should be spending less of your time to acquire them. (which is why Universities are often – but not always, a less desirable investment for particular skill sets)

BONUS: EVEN MORE IDEAS TO MAKE THE CHANGE TO REMOTE WORK

How else could I find work that pays me enough and allows me to work remotely? I could…

  • Interview people I know who are working remotely to find out how they did it and how they make money and what they enjoy/don’t enjoy about their jobs
  • Propose a shift in my current job to my boss of evolving into being a part-time or full-time Work from home position
  • Do research into the highest paying jobs and see what elements of those might be able to be done remotely
  • Do I need fully remote work, or just more flexibility? See about getting a webcam or VPN setup from work so I can work from home on days with doctors’ appointments
  • Define “pays enough” by creating a range of minimum, target, and ideal salaries so I can start to narrow in on possibilities
  • Read case studies on businesses that have remote-only workforces, and send a note to a contact at those organizations asking them for their perspective on how it’s been
  • Look at roles and industries that are actually improved when the employee is remote or able to travel easily: sales, coding, coaching, training, event planning…
  • Start a location-independent side business now at my current job, with the intent to scale it. (Dropshipping, coaching, online information products, online stores, etc.)
  • Take a class online about what you need to know to become a digital nomad
  • Get coaching from a career coach on how to find these jobs and apply for them so I can be a stand-out candidate and increase my probability of securing the job
  • Join location independent employee Facebook or LinkedIn groups
  • Take a course at SkillCrush.com on learning coding skills

What Brene Brown and The Art of Charm Have in Common

So, true story: almost everyone on my team here at Happen to Your Career is an introvert. (Myself included!)

Which is kind of surprising for a company that teaches people all about how to use relationship-building and presentation skills to create new opportunities in your professional life, right?

Well, contrary to popular belief, we introverts don’t have to be completely socially anxious and hiding ourselves away in a closet somewhere. (Most of the time.)

Case in point: this week’s podcast episode with AJ Harbinger, from The Art of Charm, he reveals that despite being a social skills coach for top performers, he’s also an introvert.

So what’s his secret weapon for making conversation as enjoyable and fulfilling as possible? It’s the same skillset that Brene Brown identified in her famous TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability.

“A LOT OF US HAVE THIS CONFUSION OR MISCONCEPTION AROUND CONNECTION. WE FEEL OR ASSUME THAT CONNECTION HAPPENS THROUGH COMMONALITIES, SHARED INTERESTS. IN REALITY IT HAPPENS THROUGH SHARING EMOTIONS BECAUSE THEY ARE UNIVERSAL. VULNERABILITY LEADS TO CONNECTION.” 

AJ HARBINGER

AJ learned about using vulnerability to create connection and relationships the hard way — through a lot of painful life lessons learned from doing things wrong:

“I’M INTROVERTED. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE THESE TOOLS AND SKILLS OF EXTROVERTS. IT’S ENERGETICALLY DRAINING FOR ME TO GO INTO A LOUD CRAZY SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT AND TALK TO A LOT OF PEOPLE….MY CAREER STALLED OUT IN GRADUATE SCHOOL BECAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE EFFECTIVE SOCIAL SKILLS. I HELD BACK NOT SHARING IDEAS. OVER TIME THAT LED TO MY BOSS AND LABORATORY MATES THINKING I WAS ARROGANT AND DISINTERESTED. WHEN YOU HAVE THAT SITUATION WHERE YOU ARE FEELING AND ACTING ONE WAY BUT THE PEOPLE YOU INTERACT WITH ARE GETTING A DIFFERENT SENSE OF WHO YOU ARE IT CAN LEAD TO A LOT OF FRUSTRATION AND HEARTACHE.”

AJ HARBINGER

Download our worksheet to mastering conversational closeness called Learning the Art of Vulnerable Connection.

Click here to download

AJ breaks down the building blocks of connection into a simple analytical process so that anybody can create a meaningful conversation with a total stranger.

His process streamlines conversational confusion and creates conversation starters broken down into these three clear steps:

1. ARE QUESTIONS AND SMILES ALL IT REALLY TAKES TO BE INTERESTING?

We all know that someone interested in you through nonverbal communication, body language, being present, and having great energy but what does that actually mean?

Counterintuitively, if you showcase parts of your personality that include being challenging, not being totally agreeable and boring, you become more “real” and more intriguing to someone else.

This means that taking a genuine interest in the other person and asking them questions, listening for the emotions and deeper-level answers. Focus on asking “how” and “why questions.

I personally use the emotion indicators as my signal to go deeper.

For example: I met this photographer in a coffee shop the other day. He told me every year he takes 12 teenage kids plus to a different country in Africa to build houses for people that need them.

We started out by talking about what he did for work, but when he started telling me about this his tone changed, his voice changed, he had a smile on his face as he was talking and he was leaning forward as he was talking to me about it.

All those signs were indicators that was the subject I wanted to find out more about… plus I was genuinely interested in what he was telling me!

Listen with your eyes and your ears, so you’re staying present to all the nuance of their communication.

Remember, to be interesting, be interested.

2. WAIT… SO I SHOULDN’T TELL THEM I LIKE THEIR SHIRT?

Once they’re interested, show genuine interest back and reward their interest with a compliment about their personality or character or even something they clearly value and care about.

What this looks like:

Remember my coffee shop photographer friend from above? When he began sharing his “building houses in Africa” story I was impressed. So I told him that.

He had a cool camera (Canon 7D for photography buffs) and I could have given him a compliment on that. But it’s more meaningful and creates a different experience if I focus on personality, character or what he values.

Compliments about superficial parts of them will come off as…superficial. Dig deep about something you find beautiful in their heart or soul that you’ve picked up on from the conversation.

For a conversational cheat sheet in this part, you can ask a question, listen to the answer, and then respond with a statement. Note that you actually do not want to respond with another question! After an average of two questions, they’ll start being interested in you and asking a question in return to fulfill the norm of reciprocity.

3. ONCE THEY’RE INTERESTED NOW YOU CAN SHARE YOUR STORY

Finally, once you’ve developed a rapport and back-and-forth, share your own narrative. Build a connection with them by picking an emotion they’ve mentioned that resonates with one of your life lessons, and share that lesson.

For a template on exactly how to do that AND  to map out your own narrative so you’re prepared to share it:Download our worksheet to mastering conversational closeness called Learning the Art of Vulnerable Connection.

HOW TO START HAVING VULNERABLE CONVERSATIONS RIGHT NOW

Creating connection is the first stop to relationships and it takes practice and for most people trial and error to truly master this.

If you want an even deeper understanding listen to the entire episode above or download on iTunes or Stitcher.

Click here to download

Not Hiring? How to Apply Anyway (and Get an Interview)

Writing like a Pro in the business world seems like a huge undertaking that is easier said than done.

Luckily, we have Danny H. Rubin as our guest today.

Danny Rubin is “THE writing guy.” Danny has studied communications since college and has worked as a TV News Reporter and Consultant and has come back around to what he loves most, which is writing. He uses his greatest strength to teach practical writing instruction for the business world. From writing to apply for jobs to writing to start a business from scratch, Danny offers his writing advice as the writing expert in the business world.

One of the key takeaways from the episode is viewing the job search as an expectations game where employers are going to expect you to do X, but you’re going to learn how to do Y.

Why, you ask? Well, while everyone else is doing X, you’re going to put that little bit of extra effort it takes to do Y. This is your opportunity to do something another way to stand out from the crowd of job-seekers.

All Y is, is a change in the way that you think about what you’re writing. We have all been so conditioned to write a resume and cover letter the same way. So, a hiring manager is going to expect that same template from every candidate.

But, Danny is here to walk you through a process that will show you how to go about writing those pieces in a smarter, more strategic way.

You will see more results when you know how to be interesting when describing yourself in your stories. Your writing should highlight details of your experience that will enhance your overall platform.

Listen to the podcast to learn more about the power of telling YOUR story of success in your cover letter. Danny will help you learn how to write to command attention, prove your ability, and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN
  • The importance of brevity – Why keeping your writing short and concise is imperative in business communications
  • The importance of writing differently and how to stand out in your writing to get noticed and open doors
  • How to write a powerful Linkedin Profile
  • Cover letter tips and storytelling tips that will make your pieces of writing stand out
  • How to apply for a job when a company isn’t even hiring
RELEVANT LINKS AND RESOURCES

Check out Danny’s work at: dannyrubin.comFollow Danny on Facebook Connect with Danny on Linkedin Follow Danny on Twitter: @DannyHRubin

GET IN TOUCH WITH US!

Email:  Scott@happentoyourcareer.com Twitter: @htycbiz and @scottabarlow Follow us on FacebookCome join us over on Facebook in our Work You Love OneStop group!

LOVE THE SHOW? SUBSCRIBE TO THE HAPPEN TO YOUR CAREER PODCAST:

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LEAVE US A REVIEW AND HELP US TO REACH MORE FOLKS JUST LIKE YOU AND HELP THEM “HAPPEN” TO THEIR CAREERS! WANT HELP FINDING THE WORK THAT FITS YOU?

If you’re just starting your journey in making a switch from a job that no longer aligns with your goals, check out our FREE 8-day course to “Figure Out What you Really Want for Your Career!”

For helping finding YOUR signature strengths, enroll in our FREE 8-day video course at figureitout.co!

Danny Rubin 0:02
People want to know if you want to work for a company in the worst way, but they don't have any jobs posted or jobs relevant to you but you want them to know you exist. How do you start that conversation so they pay attention at all?

Introduction 0:22
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what it does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change. Keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Joshua Rivers 00:46
What if you can get access to career opportunities simply by using your words, or stand out against the millions of people on LinkedIn so that companies contact you instead of trying to chase job postings. It's more than just possible. It's a realistically learnable skill for anyone who is willing to put in the effort. Now, once you learn the skill, you'll have a competitive advantage for the rest of your life and for the rest of your career. Well, today we're sharing a training that Scott did with Danny Rubin a while back, specifically for career change boot camp students. Danny Rubin teaches distinct and unique writing to open doors to your ideal company. Now, let's jump right into this training that Scott did with Danny Rubin.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:42
Hey there, everybody. Hey, career change boot camp. I am really excited to be able to do this today for a whole bunch of different reasons. First of all, myself and our guest instructor, been trying to put this together for a little while. And I think that we've got a pretty exciting presentation for you today because I know what's coming here. And I want to, even before we get started here, just take a second here and introduce our guest instructor that we've got on here. He's an author, he's a speaker, he spends a lot of his time working with professionals. At the same time, he's also working as the Vice President of Rubin Communications Group, and that's a full service PR firm. So he's got a lot of different things going, which I know a whole bunch of you know something about, and he's gonna be able to take us through a couple really incredibly useful pieces today, I'll tell you about those in just a second, but welcome, Danny. How are you? Danny Rubin, welcome to...

Danny Rubin 02:57
Yeah, I'm great. Thanks for having me on.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:02
Perfect. So we've got a really interesting setup today because we are doing this live, we've got some people in the audience, but at the same time, we also are going to air this for the podcast too. So this is, like a two in one.

Danny Rubin 03:20
That's fantastic. I'm all about efficiency and taking one thing in best.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:27
Okay, perfect, then we're speaking the same language here. Hey, before we even get into, you know, what you're going to teach us today. And I'm really excited about that, because we're gonna get deep into LinkedIn profile summaries. How to write an amazing and captivating LinkedIn profile summary? But also, how to email an employer about job opportunities even when they don't have something open and available? So those are going to be incredibly useful, but I wanted to talk a little bit about your story because you've got an interesting one, as well. Can we do that first?

Danny Rubin 03:59
Absolutely, where do you wanna start?

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:01
I'm curious because you are the writing guy, you and I have had that conversation and I use the writing guy. And I think that everybody also, as soon as they see this come to view you in that exact same way, especially as it pertains to careers. And I'm curious where that all started for you?

Danny Rubin 04:21
Well, for me to be the writing guy, "has been a journey." I've always enjoyed writing even as a kid, I knew it was sort of something that was in me. And I've been working in communications since college for about, for 10 years now in different capacities, doing... I was a TV news reporter, and I worked as a TV news consultant. And now I work in public relations. But I always stayed true to what I enjoyed, which was writing skills and communications. But in the last few years, I began to recognize that my greatest strength, my greatest value is to teach practical writing instruction for the business world and when I came to understand that, that was sort of my thing, my niche, my area of expertise, I've been just drilling down exclusively on that topic to become known, where in Virginia where I'm at, and also nationally that I am the writing expert for the business world, whether it's applying for jobs or writing to grow in your business or to grow a business you're trying to start from scratch. They're writing challenges all over the place. And I want to become known as that person. And so I welcome the opportunities to teach these skills in really practical ways, like we're gonna do today to solidify what I am and also just to do what I enjoy and what I think offers people the most value that I could provide.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:52
Very cool. And by the way, I gotta say, if you haven't visited Danny's website, go on over to dannyhrubin.com he's got a massive amount of incredibly useful information over there. And I know I've told you that in the past, Danny, after looking at your website and like, oh my goodness, you've got... he's got a huge amount of stuff on there. And everything that I've read is like, oh, there's nuggets in that, there's nuggets in that. So go over to dannyhrubin.com check it out. And you have a newsletter called the template, if I recall correctly, too. And that's powerful, the same type of stuff.

Danny Rubin 06:26
Well, Scott, I wanted to say, you know, my blog has a ton of content and that... all that content is the secret sauce, because I created my blog about four years ago, a little over four years ago, and I used it as just kind of this white wall. I just threw stuff up against because I wrote just, you know, I was starting with this premise of providing sort of job advice, communication advice, and sort of life skills to young professionals. That was a very unclear, it wasn't formed very well, there wasn't a lot of shape to it. By writing a ton, I came to understand what the audience values most. So when you're looking through my blog, and you see all these writing guides, my blog didn't begin that way, I've actually removed a lot of the content from the very beginning because this is not relevant anymore or as focused as I am now. But only by writing a lot every single week writing something new, something new, something new, putting it out there online, testing it, getting feedback, watching closely my traffic, that's when I came in to understand what the most and what I was frankly best at. And so it was just really concerted effort and a process, very organic. When people say, you know, and we'll talk a second about this book I put together and people say, "how do you think to write a book of email guides? How do you think to do that?" And I say, the answer is not like I woke up in the middle of the night and said, "I know what I'm supposed to do. It was very natural process where the answer was sort of revealed to me in time because I work so hard at my own skills" and to your students, I would say, "the way you uncover what you love the most and where the work you want to do the most is by working like crazy on your own skill set. Because in that space, when it's just you in the work, that's when the 'aha' moment reveals itself."

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:18
Right on and I absolutely love that for a lot of different reasons. But I am really excited because we get to benefit today because of all of that work that you've done, and you've removed all the stuff that doesn't work. And now we get to just focus on the fact that are left over after, you know, carving away the diamond. So...

Danny Rubin 08:36
That's right, I've done the heavy lifting and I deliver people to the strategies that work and because they're tried and true, and because a lot of what I rely on are what we call soft skills or interpersonal skills, ways to treat people, ways people want to be treated, and how you respect relationships and how in doing so, you open doors.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:59
Cool. Okay, so a lot of, actually a whole bunch of the folks that are going to listen to this, they're in a job that they might not be that excited about. Maybe it pays particularly well, maybe they used to love it, maybe it's a great job, but just not that fulfilling for them. They're looking to make a career change. And by the way, any of you that are here live on this, go ahead and drop in any questions as it comes up, as it comes along because Danny's gonna get deep into teaching us some of these pieces here in a minute. But just to kind of set the stage, as we get into this, and I just want to hand you the keys to the car and let you drive with this thing, Danny, because I'm really excited to get into this too and even I'll probably learn something as well. So where do we start here?

Danny Rubin 09:46
Okay, well, let me share my screen quickly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:48
Perfect.

Danny Rubin 09:49
And then I will take you to my PowerPoint. Alright, so just I... Scott, can you see this, okay?

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:02
I can. We got it. Perfect.

Danny Rubin 10:04
Okay, let me just open up the slideshow from the beginning. So just like, you know, I call this "how to write like a pro in the business world." Because what I'm going to teach you are skills that not only help you in the sort of job application process and positioning yourself but also once you're in a job, these skills are transferable and they are lifetime. They are lifelong skills that will make you a stronger communicator. I just want to show people very quickly just to give them a quick background on me what my website looks like. This is my site, dannyhrubin.com and that's me on Twitter. Very quick aside, the reason why it's Danny H Rubin is because, if you've ever seen the movie Groundhog Day, which most of us have, it's classic, the person who wrote that, his name is Danny Rubin. That so, he had the domain Danny Rubin. So I had to take the H and add it in there so I could have my own space and there's my homepage and you see my blog in the menu, and it's just a ton of stuff that I hope you'll check out writing guides and networking tips and the like. This is the book that I've put together. It's called "Wait, How Do I Write This Email?" and it's a giant reference guide of 100 plus templates for networking the job search and LinkedIn. I published the book about a year ago, it's now used in high schools, several high schools across the country, colleges, and even the Pentagon, which is exciting. They use it in communications courses for senior level military because they like my guides for editing and brevity. And that's what the military is all about, getting to the point. So I'm really excited and honored that it's used in such a forum. And just to give people a little bit of understanding the entire thing is just nuts and bolts, how to write different situations, how to structure emails, asking about jobs, like we're going to do today. In fact, we're gonna do the one, on page 114, and just a few minutes, of how to apply even if the company has no openings, but I'm showing you just top to bottom subject line body of the message, how to close it out, how to stand out every single time. And if the everybody else is writing it the generic way, you're going to write it a different way. And that's going to help you to get noticed, and open doors. So we're going to talk about, how to write a powerful LinkedIn profile summary and we're going to talk about how to apply for a job, even if the company isn't hiring. Okay, two really important writing challenges. And before we do that, I want to just show you a picture, for me, this is where it all began. Just to give you a quick background on where these ideas have come from, for me, this is me and my first job, out of college, I was a TV news reporter for the CBS affiliate CBS TV station here in Norfolk, Virginia. And I ultimately didn't stay in that career path. The job didn't sort of speak to me as I thought it might when I got started, which is, you know, a huge lesson and the game is just you never know until you try it. But even though I don't work in TV news today, the skills that I gained, I use every single day, on the job and in the writing skills and communication skills that I offer, one of which is the importance of brevity. And, and also a natural curiosity and other people both skills I will touch on and he's writing guides, because people need to know the information quickly. No one has time to read five paragraphs or watch a 10 minute news story. They need it fast, they're on the go. And that skill I've always kept close to me, and it informs what we're going to do now, which is to discuss the LinkedIn profile summary. We all know what the LinkedIn profile summary is, you know, the opening paragraph on LinkedIn where they allow you to describe yourself, and I've noticed that people just do not know what to do in that space because LinkedIn provides really no guidance. It's, you know, one sentence people, but one sentence, they'll put nothing, they'll put five paragraphs, they'll put bullet points about their job, they'll put it in the third person and talk about themselves. like as if they're their own publicist. There's just a huge array of ways that people write about themselves. And so I felt like I needed to put together a comprehensive guide to say this is the best way to shine in that opening paragraph and entice people to continue to read your entire LinkedIn profile and get to know you. So it's a really quick paragraph, a 32nd read, in which you describe yourself. And here are the three steps and I'm gonna show you each step and this is coming right out of my book. I just took the template from the book and put it in the slides. It's three steps: "Who are you?" "What do you do?" And, "how does your passion help others?" You'll see I talked about this in both lessons, always looking at the other, focusing on other people. The value add to others, giving others the spotlight, giving others the time of day. That is a move that is refreshing and makes people want to talk to you more because you're interested in them, not just interested in yourself. So instead one, we say, "Who are you?" In a nutshell, what's your identity? Free and it's opening line, in a clear voice, you're going to tell LinkedIn users what you're about as it relates to others in terms of the problem that you're solving. And even if you don't love the job you have right now, which is probably why you're in this course, you still need to put out a sense of positivity, you obviously can't go on LinkedIn and say, "I hate my job and I need a new one." Because you're going to have people checking you out, recruiters or other employers and you have to show that the work you do, you at least understand the value add to others and you're going to make them want to get to know you more. So you have to still project a sense of positivity, which I assume, you know, Scott also would instruct you to not look like doom and gloom out there, but that, you know, brighter days are ahead. So here's step one, the person I've given you a fictitious person named Lamar works in information technology for a hospital system. So the opening line is everyday I protect sensitive information on thousands of people, from hackers and cyber attacks. So that's the work he does and how his work improves the lives of other people. So he's saying, you know, this is what I do in my job, and this is why it's important. This is the problem that I solve, or the solution that I create, you know, I'm protecting people, and that's who he is in one line. Okay. Now in step two, we're going to say, "what do you do?" This is where you can get into the work with a sort of Meteor paragraph, where you're going to say this is the type of work that I do, this is the nature of it, using specific details, like specialties in areas of expertise, because the reality is recruiters will be searching on LinkedIn for specific key terms, you know, types of skills relevant to the job. And you really want to have specific language inside your profile summary so you can get picked up in searches. And you're not just putting generic blah, blah, blah, about you're a dedicated, passionate, hard worker, because nobody's searching for that and it won't help you. And it also doesn't make you very interesting because you have a unique set of skills and experiences that no one else can match. So let me show you what does step two could look like for Lamar. He says, "as an Information Security Analyst at Acme hospital system in Sacramento, I manage the day to day flow of information into and out of five hospitals and two emergency centers. With a focus on database management, there's this specific skill somebody could search for. My job insures critical computer systems, medical files, and patient history remain active and never fail. My team and I stay updated on the latest trends and information security to not only keep Acme hospital system safe, but also on the cutting edge." So he's giving more detail here, he's putting his title and where he works, he's also quantifying, five hospitals, two emergency centers, really letting the reader understand the size and scope of the job. So they know exactly how many buildings he's having to deal with, using specific language, database management, managing computer systems, medical files, patient history, and also saying that he sort of stays up to date on the industry, which is also a great thing to say, as you're looking for work to say that you're sort of a student of your industry, you study your craft, you're up on the latest trends, which makes you position well for the next opportunity. And then in step three, we rounded out with what I say is a closer sentence. Basically, what I want you to think about is putting in one line, you know, why you get up every day and do the work you do. And even though I know you want to transition to something else, you have to project positivity and you have to show you are selfless and understand your value to others. So you're going to say, "how you hope to use your passion to make an impact?" And if you're watching this, maybe you're finishing up a college program and you're going back in the job market, you can say, the work that you hope to do if you're not employed or if you're unemployed watching this, then you will again say, this is the work that I hope to do. But in Lamar's case, he says, "a hospital never sleeps, and the same goes for IT. If everything runs smoothly and nothing suffers a glitch, then I know I did my job." And so I say in a vast ocean of profiles, Lamar has a bio you will remember. And that's the goal here to be unforgettable. And what he does in addition to putting out a nice neat paragraph is it's inviting. It's in the first person, it shows what he's interested in beyond just the blah, blah, blah bullet points of the job, it shows, you know, why he has an interest in the work. And it makes him approachable. So if an employer wanted to reach out, if they feel like they kind of already know him, because he let in on his sort of his character, his personality, his interest level, and so we kind of feel like we've met him, even before we would pick up the phone or reach out for a conversation. So that is the LinkedIn profile summary before we move to the next one, I would stop and Scott, see if you have any thoughts or comments.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:33
You know I, really love what you're talking about for a couple of different reasons. First of all, that it isn't what everybody else is doing.

Danny Rubin 20:43
Right.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:44
So that's thing number one, because that's all you have to do often to stand out, is just simply not do what everybody else is doing. The second thing I really liked about that is that it is, very particular and is going to help you passively on LinkedIn, because, is really only going to help either actively or passively. So actively if you're seeking out somebody else or something else on LinkedIn, but passively as what's on there is going to allow people to either find you, come to you, whatever else. Now, one quick point or comment or maybe even a question for you, Danny, is we... when a lot of people, at least half of people into our career change boot camp program, they may not know exactly what they want to be doing. So I'm curious if you have any advice on that. I've got my own thoughts too. But I'm curious, if you have any advice on how to handle LinkedIn when you're not entirely sure what you want to be doing yet?

Danny Rubin 21:40
I guess we need to determine a starting point because and I've actually be curious to know what you think on this too, but that's an interesting challenge. Usually I work with people and they kind of have an idea of like the industry sector or like the type of work generally they hope to do. So I do have a template in my book, if you're a college student or a recent grad, how you set up that profile summary to say, "this is the work I've been interested in and some of the hands on work that I've done. And this is the impact I hope to make once I sort of get going." So I sort of play to that. I haven't accounted for somebody who has no idea like at all what they want to do, I would always try to push them to say, "can you pick a space where you want to operate?" I don't need to know exactly the job, but is it engineering? Is it marketing? And if you give me that much to go on, then I would say, "show me in that profile summary, what you've done relevant in that space, and then how you hope to make an impact with those skills to make others better, without having too much more of a specific path than that." That's my best answer. I'm curious actually, what you would say.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:52
Well, I think that there's a couple of different and I think you make a really relevant point. I believe there's a couple of different ways that you can go because you could totally write it off and say, "I'm just going to ignore LinkedIn until, it's not going to be a tactic, if you will, it's not going to be an approach for me. Until, I've got a better understanding." So that's one option, right? So option two, I would say exactly what you had just talked about, you can say, "okay, maybe I don't know everything at this point. But I'm gonna put down potentially the most likely area, or most of what I do know. And then that way, at a minimum, I can have people seeking me out too." So...

Danny Rubin 23:32
Yeah, look, and I think option two is the better option. Because to not be on LinkedIn, you just remove a lot of opportunity. And, obviously, so many opportunities come through relationships, meeting people, networking, who knows who and they're going to pass you along. And LinkedIn is just one more channel where those opportunities can happen. And also, you have to understand that recruiters are on there, go into that search bar and treating it like Google and they're looking for people with certain skill sets, in certain parts of the country, and if your profile, and one thing I talk about a lot is like a resume skill section, I've worked with people, they'll come to me with the resume and their skill section will say things somebody wrote passion for success was one of his skills. And I said, that's not a skill. I actually don't even know what that is, what passion for success is, but it's not a skill, I said. And actually this young man, his resume was full of things like natural leadership skills, outstanding communication skills. That is what his skill section said. I said, "he wanted to work in construction, in the construction industry." He already had a job in it. I said, "well, do you have any like skills, actual technical expertise on equipment, software?" He's like, "Oh, yeah, I have a lot of that." So we proceeded, I wish I had the slide I'd show you. We completely transformed that skill section. And it was just like, I know how to use this software program. This software program, I use this excavator, this like he was rattling on, we use very specific language, like the name of the software. It was so detail heavy and rich in skills that he sends a much better chance being found if someone's saying like, there's a very common tool and construction on AutoCAD. So he had that, like someone could be saying, "who knows how to use AutoCAD? Let me start there." And if it's not on his resume, he's gonna lose out. So being so specific when you can, it makes all the difference.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:29
So, love it. Yeah, so those would be my thoughts. Let's, I'm excited to go on to the next one.

Danny Rubin 25:36
All right. So this email is so critical. It is the most popular blog post on my website. I put it in my book too, because it just matters so much. It's been viewed probably 200,000 times, all over the world, because people want to know if you want to work for a company in the worst way, but they don't have any jobs posted or jobs relevant to you, but you want them to know you exist. How do you start that conversation, so they pay attention at all? And I see this attempted and failed so much at our own PR firm, we have recent graduates or people with some work experience who write us. And they always do this incorrectly. And it makes me not want to write them back. And it's so easy to encourage a reply, and I'm going to show you how. And here's the big idea, you got to give the love before you can get the love. And that's the same in every networking scenario, or anytime you're trying to promote yourself or your business, you give the love before you get the love. You give them the time and attention. That's what makes them want to get to know you. And I'm going to show you how easy that is but how few people understand the power of that strategy in the job search and in the business world. Okay, let me show you, I took sort of took it piece by piece with the email. So each slides gonna be a portion of the email and what it should look like. I told you, I go soup to nuts, subject line, body, closing, everything and examples along the way of what it always could look like. So in this case, it could be a recent graduate from the blank school or let's say that in this case, a fundraising specialist interested in career opportunities. Very clear upfront, what you're asking for. This is one thing that I believe the Pentagon likes about what I do is that I always encourage people to put their main point at the top right away, show what you're asking for so they're not searching around. In the military, it's actually called they say, "BLUF or Bottom Line Up Front" and I know that because I live in a big military town and I see people use that around here. BLUF. So always be clear with what you're asking for. So, my name is first and last name. And I have actually a chart in my book about whether it should be Mr. or Ms. or if it's first name, and I say, it's your age relative to their age. And the younger you are, the more often you need to use Mr. or Ms. that's my approach. It's a very sort of tricky topic. But I believe that's the most appropriate way to do it. And I say, "my name is first and last name. And I'm a recent graduate from blank school" or we say in this case, "as people are probably already working in this class, a fundraising specialist who has experience with small to medium sized nonprofits. I hope you're doing well." Okay, that's your intro. Now, you say what you're asking about, "I realize you don't have a job posting for a, in this case, a development associate. But I would still like to make introductions and explore ways I can help your team on for instance, upcoming engagements with nonprofits." So we're putting right at the top what we are asking about not at the bottom, that people leave it off entirely, and I'm like, "what are you even trying to get me to do?" So very clear right at the top. Now, this is where the magic happens, you know, so to speak. This is where you can turn heads and win fans. This part right here. I checked out the name of the company, the website and respect the work you do in particular. And here I just gave two examples that are made up, but I want to show you exactly why I did it, and why it looks the way it does. The 10k walk to support research on brain cancer, and the capital campaign to aid the river cleanup. The two projects were well orchestrated and is clear your team knows how to deliver results. I want you to understand the power of what you're looking at. If you go to the company's website, go to their blog section, recent news, press releases find something they've done recently that they've shared, which means they're proud of it. It's like a parent putting their kids art on the fridge. Okay, same idea. They're proud of their work. And if you say back to them that I was reading on your website, and I was really interested in this project or that project, and you link to it, you given it a reason why you were impressed by it. It shows you really taking the time to get to know them, and you're not just running by throwing your resume in their face, sending the same email of 50 companies. It's so easy to delete that email because it's impersonal. This one is so authentic, because it's like, yeah, I really do love what you're doing. And you're giving them a compliment. And you're linking to these posts to prove you actually did your homework, and didn't just say, "wow, what a great website, you're doing such cool stuff." You got to get away from sounding vague. Because even if you mean it, it sounds impersonal. And it sounds like you don't mean it. And this is a way to prove that you mean it. And the number of people who have written my PR firm over the last year or so, I've been here three years, I'd say out of 100 emails like this. I don't even know if one person did this. Maybe one. We're not accustomed to do it. We think all they should know about is how awesome we are. And it's a complete mistake. You need to give the love before you get the love as we just discussed. So really look hard at what I'm showing you here and understand the power of giving them the spotlight. Now, that we did that, and we've validated them, now you have to validate yourself. So here's the sort of the model that I provided for the past blank years I've worked with, in this case, nonprofits in Minneapolis on a variety of initiatives. For example, I fundraise for the big nonprofit association and little nonprofit association being very clear about no dropping names of companies, names of projects, being specific with the language, and then sharing links to your work. Another thing that people almost never do, they'll say, "I'm an experienced such and such, I have great experience" and they don't show me anything they've done. Now, how am I supposed to believe you're as good as you claim to be? This is why if you don't have a portfolio or blog, you got to make a place on the internet to put your stuff so you can link people back to your work so they can see tangibly how good you are. If you don't give them the proof, why would they ever believe you and give you the time of day. So I say a great number is three. If you have three, whatever it is, if it's a portfolio of your art that you've designed, if it's a project, that you completed that so there's a blog about it, if there's a news story about what your team did. Anything, just show me examples of where you're coming from, what you can do, because if you don't, I don't have the proof. And I don't want to take the time to meet you, because you haven't made me feel compelled to do so. So let me just jump back, "you do a great job giving them the love, you do a great job showing off your own skill set through hands on real life examples and you wrap it up. I've attached my resume to this email. Please let me know if I can provide more information. Thanks so much your first name your email signature." So I hope that this model helps you understand because this idea, this should follow you your entire life. If you're in a job, you love your job, you don't want to leave it. Scott got you to the perfect job and you love it, you want to build on that job and you want to form new relationships, you do the same thing again, you're sitting down for a big meeting, look them up beforehand. When you have to discuss your own ability always say, "am I being practical enough? Am I being hands on enough? Can they visualize? Can they fully understand what I can do? If not, I need to edit. And if I don't have the examples readily available, I need to make them readily available because otherwise no one would believe me." So these skills are so critical to the business world, they matter in the job application process. They matter in job interviews, when you're going to sit down with the employer and be able to talk knowledgeably about what they do. And then when you're out there doing the work, the same strategies apply. This is how you treat people, how you make them feel special, and in turn, they're gonna want to work with you. So I'll stop there, and I'll turn it back to Scott for your thoughts.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:54
I was making some notes as we went along, and I'd say that, first of all, this is something that I personally use all the time and I hit CP, I mean, okay, so we're recording live for the podcast right now. I get, jeez, at this point, we get people every single day pitching us to be on the podcast.

Danny Rubin 34:17
Exactly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:17
Literally every single day, and most often what comes through is, "hey, I'm awesome. Can I set myself as a next guest for the podcast?"

Danny Rubin 34:27
Right. You know, what? And to that point, Scott, because when I first published the book last fall, I did it, I pitched myself on several podcasts and I would listen to episodes, I would pull out a nugget from an episode that stood out to me and I would say it in my email, I listened to episode, I listened to number and the name of it. And I sort of quoted back to them what they said and why I valued it. And I would tell you out of 10 emails, I probably got her back from like eight of them. And they didn't know me from anybody. But I did such a good job showing them the love that they wrote back quickly and I got on the show, so that strategy, I've used it in other avenues. So it's not just related to the job search, it's just a lifetime skill, you understand it. So many people just think that all they need to be concerned about is themselves. And that's just the wrong way to look at it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:16
But I think the other thing that so many people miss too, is, I know that when I'm using this, I am looking for something that I can genuinely connect with them on. And it can and should be used as a tactic. But I think it's so much more powerful when it's something that you're genuinely interested in. Because I know if it's verbal, then the words that come out of my mouth and my body language are gonna be different. But if it's written, then the way that I even think about it to put it down on the page comes across differently too. So it comes across as genuine versus...

Danny Rubin 35:50
Yeah. It's just, we can sense immediately if something is real or fake. We know it, we can feel it and these strategies are so easy to implement, you know, I'm not asking you to spend hours and hours or code a website, it's just go to their site, read up on what they're doing. And the thing that shocks me is, if you want to work for a company, why would you walk in there or write them without really any knowledge of what they do? If you want to work there so bad, why would you want to take the time to get to know them? It could be your life, it could be your every day, and what you do all the time. So to walk in there with no knowledge, or to like, this happened to me recently, we had a young man come in here for an interview, and I said, "have you checked out our website?" It's always a test. I always ask that as a test. And then I cringe because they know what they're gonna say, which is like, "you know, I haven't done it yet." But he said, "you know, I meant to, I really meant to and I'm gonna check out your website after the interview." And I said, "well, that's just a dead end answer because you need to tell already. I want to have a discussion with you about the work we do. I don't want it to be like, I sit here with a list of questions like, I'm checking off a list. I want to have a discussion with you about PR. I want to talk about our projects, I want to talk about what you've done, I want to have a dialogue here. As if you worked here, and we were sitting around having a strategy session don't come in with no knowledge of what we've done because it's a non starter for me, you know, I don't want to just be like, asking you boring interview questions. I want to have a discussion, and because you might work here." And so that's where the mindset you got to be in, you got to be ready to talk shop with them and get on their level.

Scott Anthony Barlow 36:00
So we've got a question from Cindy. Cindy says, "hey, examples of my work are mostly proprietary. I work in accounting and project management. What do you suggest as examples that I could use on the email to a new company?

Danny Rubin 37:46
Okay, what I would say then is, "are there examples of what your company has accomplished that you were a part of? Is your company sharing information on its website about, you know, a big project they completed or a new client abroad on or a big partnership just undertook or a big advantage just put on?" And if you had a role in that, that's what I would say, if you've ever written like a blog about your topic or ever been quoted on someone else's article about the topic, share that. I just need to see examples of how good you are. And if you don't have examples, and you have to create the examples, you know, if you can't share anything proprietary on your job, I understand that. But you need to find a space to even if it's a personal blog to put your thoughts down about the work you do, just so... because honestly, I don't care what business you're in, you don't have to be like a digital strategist to have, if you have a website, it shows me that you understand 101 other skills related to the business today. And even if you're in finance you think you never have to do it, it just shows me a level of understanding about how the world works, that you've taken the time to create your own space to share your own stuff. Because every company has to do that today. And it would just show me a lot. Even if you're coming from a space that doesn't necessarily say you must, you know, have a blog. I think it just speaks volumes about how hard you work, how dedicated you are to sharing your information and creating a brand for yourself.

Scott Anthony Barlow 39:20
But here's a couple of interesting things that I was thinking about, as you're talking about that, Danny. It is such a low bar right now. First of all, I agree with you that yes, it tells you so much about the other person on a variety of different levels. But it is such a low bar right now because there still are so many people that are not doing those things.

Danny Rubin 39:43
Yes, exactly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 39:44
Then it causes you to stand out. We're talking about standing out earlier, right. So a couple of easy ways to be able to do that even if you don't want to take the time to go create a WordPress website. There are a number of tools and resources out there like aboutme.com or about.me or whatever it is, right? Maybe it's aboutme.com. One of those...

Danny Rubin 40:07
I know what you're talking about.

Scott Anthony Barlow 40:08
Or branded.me or visual CV. Actually, I just talk to them very recently, just talk to their founder, because I was really impressed with their product, they had reached out to me. But one of the things that it does is it allows you to take your resume or CV and then create a website for it. And that might sound like a small thing, but it's better than having no portfolio. It's another place that you can link that up, cause yourself to stand out and then show examples even in a resume or CV format that happens to be on the web. Levo spelled leveo.com they have a place where you can put together a profile pretty easily too. So all of those are really great resources that make it ridiculously easy. And within 5 to 10 minutes, you can add something.

Danny Rubin 40:57
Now one more is called portfolium. They allow you to make your own online portfolio in minutes that's on their platform. So that's also another easy way. And you're so right about, it's an expectations game. And everything I talked about is the employer is going to expect you to do X, and you're going to do Y, and everyone else is still going to do X. And the Y doesn't take that much more effort, it's just changing how we think about what we're doing. Because we get so conditioned to write a resume the same way, write a cover letter the same way. And so the employer expects, what he or she is going to find. And your opportunity is to do it another way to stand out and go about it in a smarter, more strategic way that's going to make them pop up and say, hold on, who is this person, this person is much more interesting, because you know how to describe yourself, tell your stories, and rely on the details of your experience that will enhance your overall platform. So it's a total expectations game and it's to the benefit of people in your class because they're going to stand out and others are just going to get lumped in.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:06
Great question, Cindy.

Danny Rubin 42:08
Yeah, it is.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:09
Very good. We just covered off a ton of stuff.

Danny Rubin 42:14
Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:14
Do you have any, more? Speaking of expectations.

Danny Rubin 42:19
Yeah, I always want to over deliver, right.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:23
I figured. I would, I saw a point three on there. So I want to make sure that if you got more that we give you...

Danny Rubin 42:31
Oh, no, it was the only thing left was just a reminder about my book is on Amazon. I did have a third point actually, we can just talk about it for a minute that I thought we had time but I removed it, which is talk about managing expectations, the power of telling a story of success in your cover letter, and I don't have the visuals right now to show you but I will just say that, it's so easy to start a cover letter like we've always done it with, "Hi, my name is blank. And I think it'd be a perfect fit for the blank job." But one thing I learned in TV news is the power of a story. That's what makes people pay attention, lean in on their seat and say, "wait, what's going on? There's a challenge. There's an issue. There's an obstacle. How does it end? Did the person overcome it?" It's the same thing as like watching a movie. So your life has those moments. It's an exercise in environment, because I'll ask people, "you know, in the last six months, can you think of a situation on the job or in a class, an internship where you face a challenge and had to overcome that challenge?" And people always raise their hand immediately. They have a story right away, and they're always great. And I say that story defines you because that story demonstrates all the soft skills the employer wants to hire. It shows your dedication, your perseverance. Let me give you a quick story. I always love telling this one because it's so instructive on what could happen when you learn to tell your stories and not rehash your resume and your cover letter. So I was working with a young woman in Maryland, who maybe I told you this before Scott, I'm not sure. But she worked for, she was a HR, a temporary HR position at a chicken plant. A really a national brand called Perdue. We've all heard of Perdue. It was huge plant in the eastern shore of Maryland. She was a temp, wanted a full time job, could not find one. Sending out a resume, no answers, no answers couldn't get a lit. And I was looking at her resume as I was coaching, doing like one on one coaching with her and her resume it said, the bullet points said, update company cell phone records. That's what it said. And I said, what does... a very flat, right? Like this is just sort of like, "what I do if it was a job description?" Very boring. But that's what we're trying to do. And I said, "Well, what does that bullet point means? She said, "well, actually, they had me update the phone records for a thousand employees. Many of them wouldn't answer my email. So I had to go find them on foot on our campus, or call them and it took three months to track everybody down." So huge task. I mean, like really onerous. A thousand people, at the end of it, she received a thank you letter from the Chief Information Officer of Perdue, and she received a raise. So I said, "Wow, all you told me on your resume was you update cellphone records, like look how much it's beneath the surface? This is a great story." She said, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I never thought of it that way." I said, "You're allowed to tell your story in your cover letter. It's a dynamic story. And that's a great space to show all the soft skills that employers want to hire because it contains what, perseverance, work ethic, determination, dedication, all that stuff, all that stuff they want to hire." So she wrote that story as the lead to her cover letter. The opening paragraph, the opening line was something to the effect of I had to find a thousand people and didn't know where to start. That was the opening line to her cover letter. It wasn't, "Hi, my name is..." because again, it's managing expectations. And the story was great beginning, middle, end, it told the issue, told us you work through it, and it told the conclusion. And then in that next section, she said, "Hi, my name is..." once I have your attention, and I've proven my ability through a story. So we worked on that cover letter, she sent it off, I went off, kind of went my own merry way. I checked in maybe six weeks later, to see how she was doing. She had received three calls from employers, two job offers, and was already moving to Washington DC to start a job as an HR person at a law firm. And if that doesn't say everything to me, on the power of stories to command attention, prove ability and leave a lasting impression on the reader, you know, she was... it's the same person, the same life, but we don't think we're allowed to share our stories. And the reality is if you don't share your stories, and you did all that hard work, then what was it all for? You have to use those moments where you overcame obstacles to drive you to that next phase. And I want to take that idea and spread it everywhere because if we can become a nation of storytellers, especially for job seekers, we're going to get those opportunities faster than the competition. It's just the way it goes. Because everyone else is just using bland language. I'm a natural leader, I have a passion for success, whatever that means. And you're like, no, let me tell you what I did when I have a thousand people to find and I didn't know what the heck to do. And it's like, who wouldn't want to hire that? And I bet you, she was hired over more qualified people. That's Washington DC. It's a competitive place. It's a law firm, but I bet you that story, elevated her because it made her someone who they could trust would get in there day one and just get to work.

Scott Anthony Barlow 47:58
This is perfect on so many different levels. And it's also a great place to be able to pull all this, all of these things together. Because everything, yeah, everything has really had this theme of standing out. And the interesting thing about standing out is you don't have to do everything to be able to stand out. You don't have to go way above and beyond, all you have to do is a little bit differently or a little bit more. And that's what I hear you saying, in all of these cases, hey, let's just shift the way we're doing it.

Danny Rubin 48:34
I'm not a design guy. I'm never going to tell somebody like turn your resume into a cereal box or something wacky like that, because that's not my thing. And I think a lot of times, you're missing the mark, because obviously if you want to be like a graphic designer, okay, maybe, but I'd still rather know about a time in your graphic design experience where you had like, five projects to finish in like 12 hours and you just like cranked it out. Like that's the stuff that I want to know and when I put down your application, I'm going to say I just read 20 applications, they were all boring except one. And that one is the person I want to meet. And because you knew how to describe your ability better than the next person, and that's just the name of the game. So, in the book, I have some templates on how to do that. And I also have an outline for like each part of it. Because also in that cover letter, we do the same approach as I showed you in that email, applying for jobs. We again show that we research the company and value what they do. So you do a great job telling a story and you do a great job showing the love and at the end, like that's the best you could ever hope to do in that space in one page or less. That's it, you've done the best job possible, sort of putting yourself out there and saying someone else had a match where my head's at on this because no one will.

Scott Anthony Barlow 49:57
That is absolutely fantastic. I want to make sure that people know where they can connect up with you. We've already mentioned the blog, dannyhrubin.

Danny Rubin 50:06
Yeah, that's right. That's why I say it so you don't forget it. And then I tell you a story about that a little bit.

Scott Anthony Barlow 50:11
Exactly. Yeah, I know what you're doing though.

Danny Rubin 50:14
It's all about the story. Yeah. dannyhruben, let me... I can open up my slides again, one sec to show that set page, dannyhruben and my Twitter is DannyHRubin as well. Yeah. And I'd love to hear from you. You can tweet me or contact me through my website. I'm happy to answer questions. And again, the book is called "Wait, How Do I Write This Email?" and about a year into the game and I'm really getting it out there now. I'm going to have it more deeply into the high school system in the coming year. And also some retail stores which I'm excited about. So it's happening and for anybody who's written their own book and self published, I think you should, this is a source of pride to get the book into cool places without the traditional path. Which again, is sort of, you make your own way in this world. And you'll do it as job seekers. And I'm doing it as an author.

Scott Anthony Barlow 51:07
Very cool. Go get the book, you can get it on Amazon. "Wait, How Do I Write This Email?" Absolutely love it. Thank you so much for making the time, Danny. I really appreciate it.

Danny Rubin 51:20
You're very welcome. Thank you for having me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 51:23
All right, all, Hey, this has been another session for career change boot camp, which were, like I said, recording at the same time for the podcast. Go over there. Check out Danny stuff. I've been to his website a number of times. I'm continuously impressed. Every time I've taken just a couple minutes and clicked around. I'm like, "Oh, this is really good, too." "Oh, this is good, too. How does he keep doing that?" I think that you'll find the exact same thing. And apparently he's told us the secrets. He just eliminates all the stuff that's less than good. So...

Danny Rubin 51:54
That's why I keep removing old posts that aren't relevant and just giving you the stuff that counts.

Scott Anthony Barlow 51:59
Absolutely love it. All right. We will see y'all later. Appreciate it next time. Adios. Thanks, Danny.

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Why You Should Trust Your Gut Intuition When It Comes to Your Career with Jason Bollman

Wherever you are in your life, do you ever find yourself asking:

Why does this not feel right?

At times we may even think:

“What am I doing?
This should be everything that I want. It should be hitting all the right things and for some reason, it just doesn’t feel right.”

Whether it is about your current financial situation, your relationship, or your job, sometimes we have these feelings that we just can’t shake.

Those feelings we don’t know how to describe exactly.

It’s that feeling at the pit of your stomach that puts a little doubt in your mind when you set out to do something you weren’t really too sure about to begin with.

And sometimes, it’s that utter and complete feeling of self-assurance that comes out of nowhere when you’re about to make one of the biggest decisions of your life — like marriage, buying a new house, or your career change.

Those feelings? That’s your gut intuition trying to tell you something. Trusting your gut intuition is important!

The definition of intuition is the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

It’s safe to say that the decisions we make in life are usually made with our head or our heart.

But, a lot of the time with specific big life decisions, our heads will use all the logic it can to persuade us to stay in the safe zone when it comes to finalizing those big career decisions.

Many people find themselves torn when it comes to their career change.

They know and feel deep down inside that something isn’t right and they struggle with taking a chance to actually make a change in their career.

Why do we fight what we know to be true in our core?

We see how others reach their goals and we think we must follow in their footsteps to reach the same success.

But, the truth is: we don’t.

Success is defined by our own definitions and the way we reach our career milestones and life goals is up to us.

LISTENING TO AND TRUSTING YOUR GUT INTUITION

One way to breakthrough the traditional path of success that we’ve built up in our heads to be the only path of success is to listen to that little voice in the back of our head telling us where we need to be to successfully reach our own career goals (whatever they may look like).

Here’s how we can learn to listen to our gut intuition and trust ourselves enough to reach our career success.

There were other instances in my personal life where following my gut, instead of my head really paid off.

Jason Bollman
CREATE A SPACE TO REFLECT

Career change requires a lot of your time, energy, and effort.

It doesn’t do you any good if you are in a constant battle between deciding to listen to your head or your heart.

Getting in the habit of creating your own space to reflect on your life and career goals and how you reach them is something you should make a top priority.

Make time to go for a run, read a book, network, or just find some time you can set aside for yourself to sit, relax, think, and reflect.

Creating a space without an agenda or to-do list to just be present to listen to your gut intuition about your career choices is the first step to find the answers you’re looking for.

I journaled — tried to figure out what is wrong.

This looks right on paper, but it just doesn’t feel right when I wake up in the morning.

Jason Bollman
PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE AND TAKE ACTION

What is something you can do that will move you one step closer to where you want to be?

When you find that one thing you can do to bring you closer to your career goals, you can begin to put that commitment into action.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

If you decide that you want to dip your toe into a new field by volunteering for an organization to either get a feel for their organization’s culture or if it is a position that you are thinking of switching to, make it happen.

Dedicate a set amount of time to your commitment and get a feel for what your life would look like if you made the career switch.

Trusting the work that you did by listening to your heart deserves a good try.

So, listen to your gut and take action.

Trusting your gut intuition will give you the opportunity to intentionally put yourself in a situation that you can enjoy.

By listening to your instincts, you give yourself a chance to grow your career.

If you’re not quite ready to hand over all of your logic to the decisions made by your heart, we’ve got the resources to help you keep moving forward with your career change.

Check out our career coaching.  We have world-class career coaches that will ask you challenging questions, keep you accountable, encourage you to take a step back and reevaluate, and offer you a different perspective.

Read more about it here or visit our Career Coaching resource for a more personalized one-on-one career adviser.

Scott Barlow: Welcome back to Happen to Your Career. I am incredibly, ridiculously, ecstatic to be here with our guest today because he has done some amazing things with his life and journey and career very recently. What is even more fun is our team has been able to participate. He has allowed us to share in it. He has a great story. Welcome to Happen to Your Career Jason, how are you?

Jason Bollman: Doing great Scott. Glad to be here.

Scott Barlow: We are going to get to your story and changes and progression but before we do that help people understand what you get to do now.

Jason Bollman: I have just started a new role where I oversee the offerings our company puts together in how we sell our products to our clients and how the team delivers that. As part of the offerings I’m putting together there is a big focus on training. I have a couple training developers under me putting together e-learning, training guides, and training our consultants. I run that portion of the business.

Scott Barlow: That is super cool. I have had hands in all that before. It can be a lot of fun.

Jason Bollman: I’m very excited about it.

Scott Barlow: You haven’t always been doing that. This is a recent change. I’ve talked to Lisa and she’s shared some of your story. You worked with Lisa Lewis. For those of you who don’t know her you can hear her story on episode 147. Way before that you have had quite the career. Where does this start for you way back? What did the beginnings of your career look like?

Jason Bollman: I went to school for civil engineering. A little ways from working with a software company that I’m at today. During college I did a co-op program where I worked a semester then went to school for a semester. There were a lot of engineering points I liked but it didn’t get all of me. I would get involved in campus ministry and a fraternity on campus. I was being really active on campus. I realized engineering wasn’t all of me. I did volunteering after graduating and settled on a teaching program in Omaha, Nebraska. I taught for two years while working on a master’s degree. I taught middle school math. I enjoyed it but realized that teaching wasn’t for me either.

Scott Barlow: I didn’t realize you had a detour in Omaha. I’ve spent some time there. I almost moved there. There is a lot of cool things I didn’t know until I visited.

Jason Bollman: My wife and I really enjoyed our time there and considered settling in permanently but it was a little bit further from family than we’d like. We moved a little closer to home. Omaha was a great experience.

Scott Barlow: Very cool. You went there and you were teaching and determined that maybe this isn’t the right thing for me. What happened from there?

Jason Bollman: Fortunately coming from a teaching position I had a summer buffer to figure out what was next. I did some reflection to determine what would be a good fit for my engineering and teaching background and found technical consulting getting into a software space working with clients and it is technical. It had everything I wanted. Once I got into the company I started at a help desk. Not many people were willing to put me in a consulting role with my background. I started at a help desk, learned the software and showed my abilities and was able to move to consulting. Eventually I managed I team of consultants.

Scott Barlow: Back up for a second. I think you just glossed over a bunch of stuff that took place for those to happen. You didn’t walk in and start at the help desk then boom let’s get this guy to manage a team. I’m guessing that wasn’t the case. I’m curious what happened in between there that took you from one spot to another?

Jason Bollman: Absolutely. In coming into the help desk position I knew I didn’t want to be a support analyst for a career. I wanted a more client facing role. It played out, because I was eager to learn. I was on the software that focused on multi-family division and was figuring out how the reports worked and financial worked. Let me look at the development piece. It was a constant hunger going above and beyond what was expected. It helped me give a resume to the consulting team that showed I wasn’t just doing the status quo. It helped make the transition.

Scott Barlow: Interesting. I’m curious going from teaching into making that initial move, was that a difficult decision for you or was it obvious? I’m partially curious because we are in the middle of the summer and we get so many teachers that find the podcast because they are in summer and have time to reflect. We also find that a lot of teachers don’t make the move even though they feel like they should. What was that like for you and why did you decide to do it?

Jason Bollman: During the teaching program I was part of it become apparent I love kids. I think I did well as a teacher but it become apparent I didn’t have what it takes to do it full time. I struggled with the parents. I was looking to get more into the complexity of problem solving and troubleshooting. The lesson plans were consistent each year. It hit on a number of key pieces that were helpful but not the whole package. There was a lot of frustration and I was struggling to make things happen and get the analytical pieces of me that I had in engineering. I lost that in education.

Scott Barlow: That makes sense to me. Lisa has shared bits of you story. You strike me as the type of guy that can sink your teeth into difficult or complex problems.

Jason Bollman: Absolutely I love the details. Let me dive in and see things from top to bottom.

Scott Barlow: That makes sense. You aren’t getting all of that in the teaching role and you make the move to the help desk and are taking some great steps that cause you to move through the ranks pretty quickly. What happened from there?

Jason Bollman: Working as a consultant I was doing a lot of projects on my own. Running my portion of the business without a lot of checking in. I was mentoring the younger consultants and taking the portions of the software I knew so they could do the portions of the training I was doing. There was an opportunity when a manger left the company. I had expressed a desire to take on more and had proven I was doing all right in my current role. They gave me a shot managing a group of consultants.

Scott Barlow: Very cool. They brought you on board and you are managing a team of consultants which sounds awesome and from the outside looks like a great job. So what happened for you to say it isn’t right anymore?

Jason Bollman: You have it right there. It looked from the outside the ideal position. Working with clients, doing deep diving things, being a leader which has always interested me, managing a team. It seemed it would all be good. I was on the road traveling to visit a client and wondered what I was doing. It should be all that I want hitting all the right things but it doesn’t feel right. I struggled with that for a while before asking for help and pursuing a career coach. I talked to family and friends, prayed, journaled trying to figure out what was wrong. It looks right on paper but doesn’t feel right when I wake up in the morning.

Scott Barlow: What do you feel like after going through all that and you know deep down something isn’t right. What did you determine wasn’t right or was misaligned?

Jason Bollman: Great question. In part, it didn’t come out until later, but realizing there is an entrepreneurial bug in me and desire to run my own business someday. Lisa helped me uncover that. It was part of why I was struggling to pinpoint. My dad was successful working in business as an employee moving to an executive level. I thought that was the way to go. He enjoyed it. Not until after working with Lisa did I realize I have a desire to branch out and do my own thing someday. The environment, the leadership team I was part of wasn’t as fruitful as I’d hoped. I enjoyed who I managed but my upline was not one that I gelled with as much as I’d like. I didn’t feel I was on part of a team. It was a desire to branch out on my own and not being in the right environment.

Scott Barlow: Interesting. That makes a ton of sense. The bosses and leaders you are working with, whether you feel supported in whatever it looks like, if it’s not lining up, it’s one of the biggest things that have a huge impact on your level of happiness, based on research. First of all kudos for doing something about it. What was the period of time where you said I’m doing journaling and talking and I need to do something to change this? What happened?

Jason Bollman: Great question. In part it was one of my close friends. He hired a business coach. He is in the process of launching his own professional speaking, career coaching type of company and hired a coach. And talked about how beneficial it was and having an accountability partner to keep you moving in the right direction. It was partly that and my wife and closer friends getting sick of me asking the same questions. I need some professional help instead of just complaining and brainstorming with my wife.

Scott Barlow: Part of it was you seeing other people and your wife giving you the boot to stop complaining.

Jason Bollman: Absolutely, I love you but we have to stop talking about this.

Scott Barlow: Totally understand that. Been there. Alyssa will tell you.

Scott Barlow: That is interesting because I didn’t know that part of the story. It makes complete sense. As you started embarking on this journey what did you go through to get to the point. You’ve made this shift in roles. I would say it’s not the easiest thing to do. There are two things going on if I understand. You’ve made a shift to a role that is much better in alignment for now but also you still have this desire to do something on your own on the side. Am I seeing that right?

Jason Bollman: Absolutely. This is a great role currently. It is allowing me to develop skills to branch out on my own. I know this is a shorter term game knowing I’ll move on to something on my own. It’s a good gig along the way.

Scott Barlow: To be honest that is why I’m interested in talking to you. That is real world for how some of these things happen. I think many of us want to know how to get to the point where we have four million dollars and spend our days doing whatever we want. I think most people don’t realize the things that happen in between there. That is an opportunity to still enjoy yourself or intentionally put yourself in a situation where you continue to grow. I respect what you are doing and how you are thinking about it because few people do that. Help me understand what led up to this? You and Lisa had been working on this for a while. What happened? What was hard and what was easier?

Jason Bollman: It was a rollercoaster working with Lisa. It ebbed and flowed. She identified pretty early about the entrepreneurial bug. I dismissed it. It’s not for me but for others. We discussed the roles I had. We talked about moving from project management to managing product. Building the software instead of just implementing it. Went down that route, did research, applied for jobs, networked, and talked to a bunch of people. At one point my homework was to connect with a certain number of people in product management. I talked to a couple people and realized it still wasn’t right. It feels like my current job. Still not what I’m looking for. We had to back pedal and try the focusing questions again. What do you want? What do you want your life to look like in 20 - 30 years? In 30 years I’d love to have the four million dollars and work when I want and do what I want. How do I start taking steps to that? We went down the route looking for a different type of job, company, and environment. And having to backpedal when it didn’t feel right.

Scott Barlow: What was that like being in that? The steps forward, testing if it’s right, and then as you called it, backpedaling, and coming back. What was the most difficult part of that?

Jason Bollman: The hardest part for me was to sit with the topics and get deep into why I wanted to make the change. Lisa was good about asking the questions with our coaching calls. I’d have three questions I could put together easily but she’d ask for four and it was hard and five which was really hard and then six or seven. The six or seven clarifying questions really got past the surface level to decide why I wanted to pursue certain things and why I wanted my own business in the future. It’s uncomfortable to get down to those questions in your life.

Scott Barlow: It’s interesting and I love how you are putting it. It helps people understand how this really works. I think we all know logically there will be steps forward and back as you are tackling this. It’s hard while you are in it. It’s how it actually works. You go out and you have this hypothesis about yourself and you test it. You talk to people and in your case you realized it isn’t the thing at all and you come back. It feels like a step backwards but it isn’t because it allows you to move forward in a different area or get closer to the answer. So many people get derailed because it feels they are going backwards. What caused you to keep going and not being discouraged? Or did Lisa have to drag you?

Jason Bollman: There is a little kick in the butt from her. She helped me realize that following my gut or intuition has really helped me out. That intuition that brought me to coaching. There were other instances in my personal life like relationships with my wife where following my gut instead of my head paid off. Being an engineer by default I’m analytical and don’t like to follow my gut. It was a kick in the pants and also her helping me understand what my gut is saying. Put your head out of it for a minute and let’s sit with it.

Scott Barlow: Super interesting. That is actually to be honest, the reason we didn’t move to Omaha, Nebraska. We had an opportunity to move there with the company I was with. My wife and I had been talking about this and actively planning to move there because that was where they were located. We visited and loved it but then we were talking in the kitchen one day and realized we were ignoring that gut feeling. At the same time we a realized our plan was to move to Omaha to get experience so we could move back to Moses Lake, Washington. We looked at each other and said why are we doing this? We were doing the same thing you were describing. We were “logic”-ing the crap out of it with our head and ignoring our heart. It’s interesting you bring it up. For people just starting to pay attention what advice would you give them to push off some of that stuff? Our head overtakes and we ignore the gut feeling. How have you done it?

Jason Bollman: You have to create space in your life to sit with it. It started with me journaling for the first 15 minutes of my morning. No agenda, just whatever was on my mind. Getting in the habit of being reflective, sitting and asking what I’m feeling. No lists or questions. Just where am I? One thing I did while working with Lisa was using some of my paid time off. One day a week for two and a half months, 8 - 10 days where I took a day off, switched it up, and created space to go for a run, read, and do some networking, to have time to sit and think and reflect. That was most helpful. Creating a space with no agenda or to do list. Just sitting and listening to your gut.

Scott Barlow: That is invaluable advice. It is also something some people may have heard before. Creating space. What prompted you to actually do it and take action? I think so many of us think about it, planning on using the time for other things. How did you prioritize it high enough in your life? It’s clearly paid off but I don’t think when we are on the other end it’s very easy to see the pay off. If I do this it will lead to insights and millions of cash. Whatever comes with it? What did you do?

Jason Bollman: The morning journaling. I read the Miracle Morning and hearing his story, taking care of his lifesaver, visualizations, and affirmations. Hearing all those things made it seem I could get up 15 -20 minutes earlier and do those things. Why not. That was the first seed to start me. Moving to taking the time off, which is big step. I had put together a list of what I needed to make a change. Lisa is helping me see I can branch out in my own thing. Where do I want to go with this? With my analytical mind I made a list of all the things I could do. I could do a side business and jump out a plane with the parachute on the way down. I could take a part-time job to have some income. I could move to a different company with a different role. Ultimately taking some time off to have space was the best option.

Scott Barlow: Two things I take away. One it’s the smaller changes earlier on that enable you to move down the path to get to the bigger changes. Journaling allowed you to see the benefits of the time and space and reflecting. Being able to put multiple options in front of yourself to decide and what is the best fit. It allowed you to look at it holistically rather than be in perpetual what ifs. I could quit my job but then I’m scared for different reasons. Looking at it with different options allows you to evaluate differently. Ultimately get to a better position. Is that what you experienced?

Jason Bollman: Absolutely. You touched on starting small. I can get up earlier and journal. Five minutes becomes fifteen and it becomes finding a career coach which leads to writing everything down. I have a bad habit hearing people say you have to create space and take all this time off and jumping right to this. But what’s something you can start just five minutes a day and go from there. It builds on itself.

Scott Barlow: I love that. For someone on the other side of this just starting to have the same feelings you did that something is wrong, not totally sure what it is yet but they are no longer ignoring the gut feeling. What would you advise them to do having just done it in the last 6 months?

Jason Bollman: Yes I’ve been working with Lisa in January so, six months.

Scott Barlow: Super cool. What advice would you have?

Jason Bollman: Great question. If you can just take some time. Take time this weekend to sit and reflect and ask why doesn’t it feel right? What am I committed to doing about it? For me it was journaling. It helped get things moving. Maybe for someone else, it could be I don’t feel great physically and need to start exercising. It looks different for every person. I’d challenge you to find some time, whether its fifteen minutes or a half hour to sit and think about if I could just change one place where would I start.

Scott Barlow: I love that. If I could just change one place where would I start? It happens that way for every person. It happened that way for me and Alyssa. Eight to ten years ago we were in a ton of debt and it was a huge issue. We fought all the time and bad stuff happened. For us it was just the tiny start to pay it off slowly which led to all kinds of other crazy life changes. It starts with one thing. Journaling, asking a question, whatever it might be. Super sage advice. I very much appreciate you taking the time and coming on the show. Before we leave I have one or two more questions. I appreciate this it’s been awesome.

As you thought about this and making the change what parts of it were unexpected for you? Especially more recently the last three months or so. What weren’t you thinking about or what things were unexpected?

Jason Bollman: Ultimately the role I am in now is a little of my own creation. There had been someone managing the offerings. There were individuals that worked on training development but not one single team working in the same way as I’m trying to get us to work. Creating a position out of nowhere. I was surprised how easy it was after I suggested it that they said yes. I thought I’d have to do an elaborate presentation. It was as simple as saying there is synergy here and my skill set and I’d like to talk more about it and they said let’s make it happen.

Scott Barlow: Super cool. I’m curious what do you think was in place at that point already so that it was well received and allowed creating something new? A new position. Not every situation will flow like that. Seeing this multiple times behind the scenes, I suspect that you probably already created the time and place. What do you think they were?

Jason Bollman: I had started being transparent with my leadership team that I was working with a career coach realizing this wasn’t the right fit. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go but was pursuing other opportunities. I would keep the team informed of what was going on, while I am here I am fully committed. Being open and honest and coming from a place of value that I want the team to be successful but I won’t be my best version if I stay in this role. Laying ground work, following my gut, having scary conversations. I felt it was right and it made the sell at the end much easier because I had been open and honest coming from a place of value.

Scott Barlow: I didn’t realize that was part of it. I’ve done a lot of that same thing. Probably as people hear you talk about it and how you shared it openly it probably scares the crap out of most of them. And it scared you and me but when you do things other people wouldn’t do and put yourself out there you earn the opportunity to develop trust others wouldn’t have and at the same time getting results that other people wouldn’t get which is crazy. What then took place in between there? Was it just you decided I see this opportunity I’m going to talk to them about it or was there more?

Jason Bollman: It fell into place. I had seen the opportunity and the portions I enjoyed and not having a fully formed thought. A different part of the organization was going through a re-organization, realigning to build the company for growth. We had acquisitions. I was in my manager’s office when he told me about it and a light bulb went off. Everything I’ve been thinking of this would be a perfect time to pitch it. I’ve been thinking about this and I htink it fits well with the re-organization that’s happening. He said it sounds great let’s talk to the vice president and get his insight. He was more excited than my boss. It had been marinating and I’d been thinking about it. It just came up. I’d been practicing following my gut so I put it out there.

Scott Barlow: Now I bet you are glad you did.

Jason Bollman: Absolutely.

Scott Barlow: That is amazing. Congratulations again by the way. I had only been able to tell you that over e-mail. I want to tell you face to face, or as close as we can, everyone else will hear it on audio. That is absolutely amazing. Jason thanks again for taking the time and making the time. This has been awesome.

Jason Bollman: Absolutely. This has been great Scott. I appreciate it.

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