The Power Of Actually Understanding Your Strengths (And Leveraging Them)

on this episode

A ton of people have taken strengths assessments, and have a good idea of what their top strengths are, but many people never dig deep enough to really understand them, or even how to leverage them.

Judith also felt this way, even after taking several assessments. But after working with a coach, she finally learned to really understand her strengths, as well as how to leverage them in her career search.

what you’ll learn

  • How to understand your Clifton Strengths assessment results
  • The importance of declaring your goals upfront
  • How to adapt the “5 Whys” method to dig deeper into your strengths
  • Ways you can leverage your strengths in your own career search
  • How to prioritize what you do based on your strengths results

Success Stories

I’ve been offered the job! It was great having the opportunity to speak with you prior to my interview. It enabled me to highlight my strengths as part of the conversation and I was able to be clear about my enthusiasm for opportunities to be proactive versus reactive. I also highlighted my desire to provide positive individual experiences. Our discussion not only assisted me in the interview but it also helped to increase my confidence!

Bree Hunter, Project Officer, Australia

“It’s hard to find something that fits, that’s why so many people change careers. When I finally understood my strengths and how I could apply them it all made sense. It just made it easier to see what types of jobs and roles would fit me. In my new career I get to do the marketing that I love with a company I’m excited about.”

Kirby Verceles, Sales & Marketing Director

All the stars aligned and I ended up finding the right thing at the right place at the right time, and it was you guys! Everything that you said was speaking to me and the things that you had done in the job that you had transitioned out of and into. Also how finding work that you love is your passion for people! Honestly, it was you Scott, I mean, the way that you talked about it, how passionate you were, I was like, there's no way he's gonna put out a faulty product. So I'm gonna try it, you know… I recommend you to all my friends, you know, even if they don't realize that they're looking for a new job, I'm like this is the first step, let's do this! Even if you maybe don't move out of this career. This is going to help!

Maggie Romanovich, Director of Learning and Development, United States/Canada

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 00:01
I seem much better now how my five or seven Clifton Strengths tied together and the ones that I had felt were really not that much of a big deal, I can see better how they now fit in into.

Introduction 00:15
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what it does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:39
If you've listened to the show for any length of time, you know, we spend a fair amount of time talking about signature strengths. But figuring out your signature strengths can actually be really difficult if you try and do it by yourself. Small secret that maybe isn't really a secret is that sometimes, a lot of times, your signature strengths aren't always obvious to you. This is because to you, it's just what you do. It's what you're able to do. It's what comes easy to you, you're embedded in it, and you think that because it's easy for you, it just isn't a big deal for everyone else. For example, you know, think of that time that you got praise from boss or coworker for all the work that you did on a particular project and you shrugged it off as no big deal. It's probably happened a lot. What you saw as normal, others could see as a special set of talents. This is just a clue, just a set of clues to begin figuring out your signature strengths. We use something called the “5 Whys” method as one way to boil down to what the strengths are. Now, this actually comes from our career change bootcamp program. It also is a popular problem solving method that's used in things like Kaizen methodology or way back when to total quality management from the late 70s and early 80s in manufacturing, but it also strangely enough works really well here too. And I wanted to share this with you specifically, I want to share a one on one coaching session that I recently did with one of our career change bootcamp students on this very topic.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 02:26
My name is Judith Ní Bhreasláin, I'm based in London in England. And I've worked for the last 20 years in financial services.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:32
Okay, Judith had been a listener of the podcast for a while, and then joined our CCB program back in September. And as you worked through the program, she soon came across the area where we begin to identify signature strengths. She did this as mentioned, talked to 35 people to get feedback on her strengths, but she felt like there was something missing. That's when she reached out to see if she can get additional resources. And you get to hear what happened as a result.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 03:00
So I signed up for CCB in early September, and I had been reading some books and listening to your podcasts before that for a while. And I decided that what I was trying to do in terms of change career and look for a new role would be much, much easier in a more structured environment and with some coaching so that's what kind of led me to sign up for CCB. I raced through the first module, which is kind of setting yourself up for success, and then I got to the strength module, which had been, where I had to do the Clifton strengths survey. I saw what my five tips and strengths were and particularly agreed with some of them. So I adopted two more, which I felt were appropriate. And I like all the few items, I think 35 people asking for feedback on my strengths, and we're no real surprises in what I got back. And so things like one organized and structured and I'm tenacious, I get things done, I get into languages, etc. But there were no major surprises there. But it was still very much. I felt that I was being told these are your skills rather than your signature strengths from how I don't just adhere to description of signature strengths. I'm also very much a person who likes to make sure I'm doing things the right way. And then I'm going to get the right answer. So that's part of my personality.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:04
I've gathered that.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 04:07
You'd mentioned the "5 Whys" on some podcasts and also and I think, in some activities, for module two on strength, but I couldn't find an example. So that's how I got in touch with you guys and said, to be really good to have some examples. So that I could get deeper down from what I think are my skills to really understand my signature strengths. And I've done some work and I have done some of the "5 Whys", but I was getting kind of get convoluted answers. And I was getting to the stage where I was thinking to myself, well, the reason why you like languages is because your country was occupied by another country. So that was not very productive in terms of actually moving forward and having that I can talk about in about myself in interview, etc. But that's really where I am and as I know what my skills are, but I'm not clear, I'm not sure that I've really got to the to the nitty gritty of my signature strengths. That I’ve explored deep enough.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:54
Okay, that sounds fantastic. Here's what I'm hearing out of that. One, is you've got a really very solid amount of feedback in a variety of different forms either from other people, co workers, etc. and also from, you mentioned the Clifton strengths assessment. And it sounds like on the assessment, in particular, that some of those you agreed with very well and some of those disagreed with. So I think we can dig a little bit into that. I'm curious about that more so than anything else. But then additionally, you have gone through a variety of different exercises and just don't feel like you've really gotten too, I'm going to call it the bottom of it, for lack of a better phrase. Is that fair?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 05:41
That's right.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:42
Cool. So I think what might be really helpful to help you get to the bottom of it, is two things, we can go through the "5 Whys", but I think we'll go through and we'll do that in a slightly different form. So the "5 Whys" being that exercise that we did mail back and forth about getting to the root cause. And I think there's really many different ways that we can get to, what is the root? What is the bottom? What is the signature strength in this case? However, I think that will use the "5 Whys" if it's most appropriate, someplace along the line. And I want to try some other ways, too, depending on what we find that you need as we're continuing our conversation. Is that fair

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 06:23
Yeah, that sounds great.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:24
Okay, so do you recall your strengths from Gallup?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 06:32
Yes, I have some here in front of me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:33
Fantastic. What are those? When was this off?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 06:36
In order for the first five, there's harmony, inputs, consistency, communication and focus. And I've adopted discipline and learner as well on top of those.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:47
So harmony, input, consistency, communication, and focus?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 06:52
Yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:53
Okay. What were the two that you've adopted, learner and what?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 06:57
Discipline.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:58
Learner and discipline. Okay. I suspect just based on the interactions that you and I have had via email and then what your coaches shared with me too that learners probably in your top 10 easily. I think there's no doubt about that.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 07:18
Yeah, I loved learning new things, but not just almost to, I mean, it’s an extent, yes, but I learned almost anything. And I love the learning process. It's not just the thing at the end that whatever the skills that I learned at the end of this.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:27
Yeah, that makes sense. The two that you have seen less evidence or that you disagreed with, as you put it, what were those?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 07:36
So there was communication. I mean, I'm fine with communication. I can get up, I can talk in front of people, etc. But there were some of the verbiage around communication was that I really enjoyed telling stories. And I wouldn't say this is particularly the case and the more I started to develop my desire to read more tales, I have to tell the sentence today, few activities delight you as much as evoking images in your listeners minds that bring forth laughter and tears. And I don't see myself as somebody who's the center of attention, telling a story or telling jokes, etc, that the people then react to.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:07
How do you see yourself as it revolves around communication?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 08:11
I'm probably more of a talker than listener, which is something I'm trying to fix of it. And I liked being in small groups. So the conversation is, you know, it can flow from one person to another person. So it's not always me doing the talking.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:23
But definitely more of a talker than a listener is your natural modality, natural tendency.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 08:28
Yeah, I have to… like I have to bite my tongue sometimes and go let the other people speak.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:31
Okay. This is gonna work well because I'm more of a listener than a talker. So we're gonna get along just fine, Judith. The other one, besides communication, which one was that?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 08:44
The consistency.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:45
The consistency, okay.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 08:46
People tell us to… tell them to the consistency are keenly aware if you treat people the same. And there was a second part of that I did agree with crave stable routines and clear rules and procedures. And I like putting in place rules and procedures for people to follow. I'm possibly less of a rule follower myself unless I agreed through.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:03
Okay. Tell me about that. Give me an… in fact, what would be really helpful here is give me an example where that's been the case where it's like, “Eh, I'm not so much of a rule follower on that particular area. But here's another area where I did agree with. Let’s route through a different examples here, just so we're on the same page first.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 09:23
Okay, I have to carefully don't get arrested here first, for speeding. I'm very strict about myself in terms of not speeding in within cities and towns, because people are crossing the road, etc. Whereas on the Norway and Germany, for example, doesn't have a speed limit on some roadways. And I think that's a very sensible rule. But I'm living in Britain at the moment and there is a speed limit. And sometimes I go over the speed limit. So I think, well there's nobody else on the road. It's not a busy roadway. So the speed limits is a silly speed limit. But there is an example.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:54
Okay. All right. Fantastic. Do you find that that is pretty consistent across all areas of your life, in terms of how you selectively decide about the rules for lack of a better phrase?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 10:10
Yeah, probably I'm just thinking about things like boarding planes and I mean, samples are coming to mind. Yes. If I agree with the rule, then I will follow it. I disagree with the rule and it's not gonna hurt somebody else, then I might not necessarily follow it to the latter.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:22
Okay. Were there any pieces of the communication or consistency definition that you did agree with?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 10:30
Yeah. Good, few. I mean, it did a highlighting exercise. I went through the yellow highlighter.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:34
That’s what I was gonna ask next but I figured the answer was probably yes. Based on you like to do things right, which I suspect ties into a few of these pieces in terms of your signature strengths.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 10:45
Things like I’m, one on one conversations are natural part of my day. I regularly establish rules or processes to handle recurring activities on the political establishment practice schedule and follow us on, I persevere. And my training was very rigorous, I set standard operating procedures. So that's inconsistency. So they wouldn't apply. And favor everybody using reliable step by step procedures. That's on the consistency side, other lot less on the communication side, there were just a few things. So forthcoming nature, which is true, I'm open and honest, I'm not afraid to share. And particularly in the workplace, I am not the kind of person who holds on to all the information in case when I tell somebody else I lose my job. I'm really not afraid I'd rather share all the information I have. And that means I'm not no longer required, well, something else will come along and I'll find something else. So I enable others to share their thoughts and feelings with me. I would say that's true. I mean, particularly more junior members of staff often come to me and want, you know, with help around political issues or how to deal with somebody. So, that's something that is true. And I can keep a discussion or small talk moving. I don't enjoy it, but I can do it. And I could occasionally search for the right words to make my point where I would have thought that applies to nearly everybody, but that would be true.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:59
I would say no, it does not apply to nearly everybody. However, it definitely applies to you, which is what we're talking about right now.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 12:08
And that was it. That was really kind of I didn't find anything else.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:11
Okay, that's a great level setting for me here and gives us a great place to start. So, here's what I'm thinking about, one other quick question one the discipline part. Why did you pick that up? You must have resonated with that. But what about discipline?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 12:28
Yeah, so I did the same highlighting I found a description of discipline online and printed it out, just the same highlighting exercise, I'm loads of them up that were applied to me. So I like my world to be ordered and planned. I instinctively impose structure on my world, I set up routines, I focus on timelines and deadlines. I break long term projects into a series of specific plans and work through each plan diligently. And I want to feel in control. I'm impatient with errors. And see, I'm productive despite life many distractions. I recognize that mistakes might depress me, I've got a few examples with us. And I enjoy helping other people to add order to their lives. So some of the feedback I got was from one or two people in particular, was that when they're doing something with me, they just don't worry at all about what's required or where they need to be. They just know, I’ll make sure that they get to the right place at the right time and that everything that we're going to do there will be organized.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:19
Okay, let's start with that part right there. So those people know that it's gonna be done, it's gonna be organized, it's gonna be good, it’s gonna be great end result when they're working with you. Right?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 13:30
Yep.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:31
Okay, that particular area that sounds like something that you got feedback on multiple times. Is that fair?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 13:39
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Something that I can't stop organizing and I've been doing it since I was four or five.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:43
Okay, fantastic. Give me an example of that, I can't stop organizing. Where's something that seems a little bit on the outliers or seems a little bit on the extreme side, but you cannot can’t help it. Where has that come up in your either current role or past roles?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 14:01
So I'm not just working at the moment, I've taken some time off. But, one of two of the things I've done during that time was, organize our wedding and make my wedding dress. And then as soon as that was finished, we decide extension projects that we've increased the size of the house, and I run that project and I had for both I think on the house extension project, I had excel and project plans, and I made my husband come and sit down and project meetings etc. and I had issues and risk log for the builder. So all of the skills I've used in previous program and project management roles, I used, you know, those same skills and through these two more personal projects.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:34
It makes me so happy that you did that for your wedding and your house extension. That's great.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 14:40
I kind of couldn't have not done it, actually not have had an excel plan, they just… it have to be that way.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:47
I think that in that particular case, that was definitely you leaning hard into some of those skills. But what did that do for you? When you kind of begin to tear that apart or tease that apart, what did you get out of the deal? This is, I know that's a weird question, but go with me for just a second.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 15:04
No, I understand. Yeah. Think about know where you're coming from. But what I got was that I always knew what was supposed to be happening on a particular day. I also had the things, let's say I'm just… random example. And we're part of the project including getting a new bathroom. And we had a guy come in to fit the bathroom on a certain day. And if I had just had in the project plan, fit the bathroom on the first of October, but not had all the tasks into choose the shower, choose the tile, etc. in a good few weeks and a month in advance, and then the bathroom tissue would have turned up, I mean, wouldn't have had all the things necessary for him to do his job. So it meant that at any point in time, I knew what needed to be done that day. And also where there were problems. So if we didn't get everything done on a particular day, I knew that we don't have to spend you work late at night to try and make sure we got me caught up on the things that we're at something or we have to shift the priorities around or delay the fitter or, you know, to take action to remediate any delays. In a nutshell, I knew what the situation was and where we had problems and where we were on track.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:58
Okay, what did knowing the situation and where you have problems at whether or not you're on track, what did that do for you? Be selfish here for a second.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 16:09
Maybe feel more in control, made me feel that we were more likely to succeed by the date, our target date, that they're the two main things.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:16
Why was it so important for you to succeed by the target date?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 16:20
I don't like to fail. So when I set myself a target, I don't like to not meet that target.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:25
Where do you think that comes from for you? I don't think anybody loves to fail. Like most people don't love to fail. However, there's probably some places that have had an impact on that being a driver for you.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 16:38
I mean, I’m always good at school. You know, but I worked hard but not very hard. So, success kind of came naturally. And then I suppose, as I got kind of higher up in school, as I advanced through the years, there were subjects that I found a bit more difficult. And I remember failing an exam when I was 12. But it's just a small exam. But I remember thinking, oh my god, I'm never gonna do that again. You know, I always going to succeed. Is that the kind of thing you're thinking of?

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:00
Yeah, there's not necessarily any right answers here. Let's keep pushing on that for just a second here. And see if we can make some really useful things out of that. So when you've had that type of experience, or those other types of experience where you have failed and you're thinking, I'm not ever going to do that again, and instead, are driven to succeed. Give me some specific examples where you're particularly proud of that you have driven it to success even though it was hard.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 17:32
thing that comes to mind when I was 16, I think I did an audition for the Irish Youth Orchestra, I play the violin. I didn't know the Irish doctrine, I didn't get played. And I practiced an awful lot more and the following year, and I did an audition again, then I got a place. So I worked hard to succeed the second time when I had failed the first time.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:49
What kept you going there?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 17:50
So determination. I really want to be part of the orchestra. Some of my friends were in the orchestra. I guess there's a little bit of me at the time thinking, “I'm not good enough, but I'm going to make myself good enough. I can do this.” I mean, I'm usually quite good at being able to motivate myself. You know if I have a setback in almost anything. Okay, well, I've just had a setback. There's no point in emoting about it and, you know, being depressed about it. Get up and do whatever the action is necessary to come off that setback and try and succeed the next time.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:17
So it sounds like part of the way that you look at success is not at individual failures along the way. It's whether or not you accomplish the thing that's important to you at the time. How close is that to how you really think about it? And then what would you change from that statement?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 18:34
That's pretty close to, I’m just thinking that my wedding dress that I made, by the way, that's a stupid idea. And I don't recommend anybody does it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:39
I love that you did that, by the way.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 18:41
It’s very stressful.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:42
It sounds stressful.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 18:43
Yeah. And my wedding dress was finished about five minutes before I put it on, on the day of my wedding. And so my aunt actually did the last few stitches. But I had decided I wanted to do this wedding dress. I realized about two or three months before the wedding that I… just was idea. It wasn't gonna be ready on that side to side unless I stopped work. And it was very important to me to do side to side, to stop work at that point and devote myself to the wedding dress. So I looked at all the different possible options, I can go and buy a dress, but it's not going to be what I want. And I can stop work and do it. I can make myself an easier dress, I suppose, that would be another option. And I thought no, what I wanted to do, what the target I set for myself is this I've had, let's call them setbacks, you know, haven't gotten where I want it to be by now. I'm going to take the course of action that's needed or that I feel that’s needed to make sure I do the thing that I had to do.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:27
Okay. So here's what I'm hearing out of that. And by the way, we just did part of the “5 Whys” as well, we just asked slightly different questions that don't feel like why because sometimes you get stuck when it's just like, “well, why? why? why?” Instead, we're looking at it from a few different angles here. And one of the things that I'm hearing in all of these examples that you just gave me is that it's actually not just one strength popping up here, as you are achieving some of these different pieces if we start to pull them apart, and that's what we've been doing by asking these questions, then it's actually multiple strengths, or strengths themes, as Gallup would call them, if were using their terminology, that are coming together at any given point in time, allowing you to accomplish what you want or what is particularly important to you. Let me see if I can provide a little color on what I mean by that. So let's take your wedding dress example, right? So I think it's probably a fair assessment that, first of all, most people in the world would not have embarked on that in the first place, right?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 20:42
Correct.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:43
Okay, so that’s thing number one. And then when you did, you really did leverage, I think both of those pieces of consistency as well as discipline in being able to push through, and at the same time you were definitely leveraging your learner strength. And also, I think one of the things that has a tendency to drive you as well is this harmony, peace. Harmony is like taking a chaotic situation and taking all the steps and restoring it to whatever you consider to be normal or harmony. If you want to like, take all of Gallup's definitions and really reduce it down to a couple of simplistic words. So, all of those pieces were working at the exact same time in that scenario for your wedding dress. And all of those layered hand in hand actually allowed you to get the thing finished. I think there's a very small portion of people in the world, very small percentage of people in the world that would have been able to do that, that are not already, like, you know, if you make wedding dresses for a living or something like that. Like that's one thing. However, people who don't do that are pretty unlikely to be able to make happen what you made happen. And part of the way that you made it happen was not just one particular area, it was leaning into all of your strengths, which allowed you to fully leverage some of the past experiences and skills that you've had as well. So we can keep going on with this. But it is starting to make sense in terms of all this layer together. So I think, you know, when we talk about signature strengths for you, it's these pieces in tandem. It's these pieces in combination with each other. It's not just one of these strengths themes that Gallup provides on an assessment, right? It's not just one piece of feedback that you got from reaching out to friends and co-workers and people that know you well, and not as well and so on and so forth. It's really, for you how these layer together over the top, in a very unique combination that allow you to do things that quite frankly, are very unique in the world and we’ve just talked about several, I mean, how many people do you think in the world in this day and age can make their own wedding dress, especially something this is extensive, is what you wanted, and was important to you. I’m gonna guess, like, “.00000” like, I don't know, very, very little right?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 23:22
Lots of zeros.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:22
Lots of zeros. So on one hand, you should absolutely be proud of that. And on the other hand, I think that really gives us a big window into how you're leveraging these strengths together. Same thing for the trial with the violin. Again, this is something that selectively is very important to you. And I'm picking up that theme there too. And I think that that's a really big part of it. And I think that, as a general statement, true for most people. And when I say as a general statement, I'm talking about something has to be semi important to you to take extreme action against it in one way or another.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 24:02
Yeah. Like I'm not interested in running, for example, I'm never going to go and spend loads of time learning how to run or buying the right shoes or any of that kind of thing. It’s the only thing I want to learn about it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:10
And that basic part is true for most people in some way to some degree. However, I think it's really amplified with you, in particular, and we see it come out, in very selective ways. You are willing to take more action than the average person against that. And I think part of where that pops up that's leveraging that consistency and discipline themes, as well as the harmony themes. I think harmony is kind of almost what gets you over the edge, it’s what causes you to have that desire to be in control to some degree, especially as it interacts with the discipline.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 24:50
Yeah, I never thought of that. Okay.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:52
So those two are working in tandem together and it almost amplifies your need for that. So when we get to the bottom of, ‘why is that?’ I think that creates something that's very positive in your life, not always. Sometimes you see the shadow side of that and it puts you in pretty stressful situations because you have a need to take this situation and bring it to order in one way or another, right? And that creates stress for you. But the positive side, what you're getting out of that or how you're benefiting out of that is that's something you have a deep desire for.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 25:23
Okay, yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:24
So, and I think it probably does a few other things for you. And that's where we could pick up on the why’s part. Because if we want to jump 17 steps ahead here, like part of what you're going to be doing is taking these strengths and beginning to look at, in the real world, where can I lean into these more so than what I even have in the past? So the more that you understand what you need, and how some of these, you know, just from a little bit of a selfish side, how these are benefiting you, the more that you can begin to decide how do I find this and target these places in the real world where it's also benefiting mutually, you know, wherever I'm working or wherever I'm putting my time and effort into. Does that make sense?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 26:06
Yeah, and I can see for example you said a few minutes ago, that I'm willing to take more action than the average person to get something done, something that's important to be done. And I can see plenty of times in roles, in previous roles in the workplace, where I've done that, whether it be to, you know, I taught myself Spanish so that I can be more effective in one of my roles. You know, I'll work longer hours if necessary, I'll talk to people I might not be comfortable talking to because I think they could help my team or whatever it is. I can think of a number of examples where I've done that. So would you say that one of my signature strengths is I'm willing to take more action than the average person or so here I am doing my perfectionist, I need the right answer.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:42
Yes. Let’s try and quantify these. I think that's a part of it. I don't necessarily think that that is causal. I think the result is that you take more action than the average person. But I think the real reason you take more action than the average person is these different pieces and parts in combination with each other. Because you have harmony and you are a learner and you're able to do things like go learn Spanish, because that's going to make you more effective. And ultimately, it's going to impact bringing things to order that are important to you. So if we're looking at signature strengths, I think we're looking at these pieces and parts and in tandem, and the combination of them really is your signature strength that allows you to make unique contributions. Does that make sense? I don't know if I'm directly answering your question. I'm not directly answering your question.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 27:37
No, and I don't think it doesn't make sense. You're not directly answer the question, I suppose. And what I'm looking for is my personality. What I'm looking for is a list of my five signature strengths or six or whatever the number is, and I don't feel up. So we're saying now there's my signature strength or one of my signature strengths is the way I might Clifton strengths is harmony, focus, discipline, learner, etc, how they interact with each other. But I guess, I don’t see that that's specific enough to be.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:00
Let's see if we can take a crack at it and make it more specific in some of your own verbiage. Everybody's different. Some people lean hard on if we're just using Clifton strengths forbid, which just gives us language to be able to talk about it. It's really most important that you understand it. However, this gives us a place to start in terms of language to talk about it. So let's keep going with Clifton strengths. And for some people, they really lean hard into just a couple areas over and over and over again. You, I think part of something that's unique about you is you lean really hard into a large number of these and each thing that we've talked about that is potentially difficult for you or is something that you have overcome or whatever else hasn't just been one or two of these. It's kind of been all of them in one way or another. And I think that that needs to be represented here when we talk about your signature strengths in one way or another. So, let's take a crack at just defining these. I'm gonna look at my notes and talk at the same time. And then you tell me which parts I'm getting wrong. And we'll kind of move through it in a little bit of a messy fashion together to get some definition that feels good to you. Does that sound good?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 28:31
Okay. That sounds great.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:29
Okay. Let's see here. We've got the harmony, input, consistency, communication, focus, learner and discipline. We've got… let’s think about this almost, I don't use this all the time, but let's think about this almost as an equation for just a second, an equation for what creates a compelling work or compelling situation to you. So, thing number one is it has to be important to you. Whether it's work, whether it's, I mean, you literally moved on from your job, because your wedding dress was really important to you. And that is awesome. It's also a good indicator that if that's not there, the rest doesn't matter as much.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 30:18
Yes, I would agree with that. Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:19
Okay. So what makes that important? Or what makes something important to you? Or how would you quantify that? Let's do that messily here imperfectly.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 30:30
Yeah. What makes something important to me? I guess I have to be learning, which comes back to the learner. So in my last rule, I got quite bored some of the time, because I was doing the same repetitive stuff. And it's also stuff I used to do maybe 10 or 15 years ago, or even longer ago. So it was a real slightly more junior than roles previous to that. So I wasn't learning. I wasn't politically challenged on that side. And so I didn't enjoy the role.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:53
Okay. So for you, it's not just about learning. It has to be challenging you enough. It has to be the right level of challenge, right? Okay. What else? Anything else that makes it fall into the important category for you?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 31:08
Nothing's coming to mind at the moment.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:10
What makes you feel personally vested into it? Because that's one of the themes that I'm seeing again and again, you will take pretty extreme actions, especially leveraging your learning strengths in order to, you know, accomplish a goal or…

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 31:25
Yeah. I’ll say something. And if I say I'll do something I'll do it. So I told everybody I want to make my… I was going to make my wedding dress.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:32
So therefore, you have to.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 31:34
So that I would turn up in something that I haven't made. Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:37
Why is that so important to you?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 31:38
It’s probably pride. If I hadn't succeeded in making it, I would have felt that I'd let myself down. Probably that I looked, that I tried to take on too much, that I failed at that particular goal. Beaten a little bit. I don’t mean beaten in the sense that I would have been, you know, depressed for six months or anything but I would have felt something got the better of me. No, that’s not allowed.

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:00
Not allowed

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 32:01
I guess I feel, I don't want to sound big headed or anything. But if I set my mind to do something, I can do it. I don't mean I can go out and suddenly become a famous sports person or anything like that. But if I set myself a goal, even if it's a really hard goal, of course I can do it. I just need to just keep the focus and do it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:18
For you, there's something I didn't ask before, have you declared or set the goals and found later that even though you may have finished it like, what, this really wasn't actually that important to me or I should not have done this in retrospect, or by the time you get to the end of it, you are attached to it and your perception of level of importance matches, I don't know the work that went into it. I may understand how you think about that or if you've had that experience where they've been mismatched at the end.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 32:52
I suppose, I mean, looking back at the wedding dress again, I didn't realize how much work it would be. When I stopped work, I literally worked 70 hour weeks for the next two months to get my dress done. And I just, yeah. And I pulled in some help from my side, my aunt told me and I asked advice in various places and I was like, I found a few things online to help but it was more than a full time job. And for the eight weeks or seven to eight weeks. So if I had known enough, maybe I wouldn't have made the decision to make the dress, maybe I wouldn't have made it, maybe I would have just said no it's actually too big enough.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:26
Because that typically what happens for… after you declare something to be important? And then you, like, learning Spanish I suppose there's not as clear of in-line for Spanish. So, maybe that example.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 33:41
Yeah, and I love languages and I speak a few languages. So learning another one is relatively easy. But what's gonna take time you just have to, I just have to put the time in and work on it. And with the language you don't get to the point where now influence and yesterday wasn’t, it’s a process. So it's slightly different. Just trying to think about work situations which are different, obviously, in a work situation. It's not the case of me saying, “I'm going to achieve this.” It's usually the organization's goals are this and my part of the goal is to achieve this. And it's something that, yes, I've taken on, but it's also been assigned to me by my client or my manager. So it's kind of less clear. I mean, to be honest, I think this is probably the biggest thing I've ever taken on my life. I would say that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:18
Okay, so for you, then there's several different pieces, excuse me, that make it incredibly important. It either has to be embedded into something else that you've already declared as important like a, you know, job or role that you're already working in. Where it is a piece of the work, if you will, or it has to have that learning and the right level of challenge involved in it. And then additionally, I think that there's some element here of that pride piece. I think that's involved and we can come back to that here in a minute. Okay, so we've got to have this important piece. And then additionally, once you get into it, it's almost like once you get into whatever it is, whatever the project is, whatever the goal is, whatever the thing is that we're trying to make happen, then it really is this combination of almost the pair of consistency and discipline, I would say. I think the…think about the learner piece is that's like, creating a foundation underneath. It's almost like feeding all of these other strengths as long as that challenge is there, and as long as you get to learn in some of the ways that are most important to you, as long as we have something important that you're working on, then that allows… It's that foundation underneath that sort of, like, feeds the other pieces here. Once you start, then your discipline and consistency begin to really kick into play and almost at the top layered over the top of everything else is that harmony. So the harmony is wanting to take this situation which may be chaos, maybe not in perfect order and bring it to order. And the discipline and the consistency are part of what keeps you going into doing that. The input side of it, I heard it crop up many different ways. Even to where you're saying, “Hey, I got a little bit of help from the outside. I sought out feedback here.” You've mentioned those types of phrases as we've been going along four or five times. They're cursory though they're on the outside. That's not necessarily what is driving it, but it helps you push it over the finish line in one way or another. So I would say it's more of a tendency, but it's kind of an underlying tendency if you want to think about it that way.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 35:35
Yeah, I would agree. When I read the inputs and description, I felt “yes kind of applies” that wasn’t the phases, the purpose didn't jump out at me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 37:08
When I think also that it's less tangible for you in how you work. So it's there, but it's not the reason everything works. I think the real reason everything works if we want to focus on creating the definition for signature strengths purposes, I think it really is that you can't help but to be ordered in planned and trying to bring things back to feeling like you're in control that causes you to be incredibly productive to allow things to be in order. And I think that your communication piece is almost a natural byproduct. I think part of the reason you've kind of disagreed with communication is I think that in some ways you have some of the natural tendencies there but it's been a, you've needed to develop that over time and you've had been forced into situations or you're a part of situations that require you to gain a lot experience in that area. So it becomes a strength based on it being a product of your environment and other areas. So your discipline and consistency and harmony have caused communication to move up in your strengths. Does that make any kind of sense? There's also natural tendencies there but I think that also explains why, when you look at that, it's not like oh my goodness, this is me.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 38:33
Yeah. I didn't get a tool for the communication. I'm possibly if I'd been in another role, I would have probably been in situations where I had to give talks or whatever. I wouldn't… the communication might not have come as good so highly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 38:45
Yeah, absolutely. But you have been in a variety of different situations where it required you to get better at communication. So it leaned into some of your learning pieces, in one way or another. And naturally, communication has over time, become a strength where some of the other ones might be built in more from both nature and nurture. Okay, so back to signature strength definition here. So I really think that it's about this desire to be like we'd say signature strength number one, I think it's really this desire to be ordered and planned or be in control. I think everybody wants to be in control to some degree, however, you have an extreme need for it that is driving a lot of these pieces here. And I think that that's control slash harmony.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 39:34
Okay. And you would stay like us. So one of my signature strengths is the desire to be ordered and planned and be in control.

Scott Anthony Barlow 39:40
At least this is a rough draft. Yeah. I mean, looking at the other pieces that really are tangibly, but I think it's about in those areas, you know, desire to be ordered and planned and in control in the areas that are most important to you.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 39:55
Yeah. I mean, that certainly fits, I mean, I've been calling it just I've been saying I'm organized, I’m good at putting structure and chaos planning etc. It’s just a different way, I guess.

Scott Anthony Barlow 40:06
I think it is more than that and I think that, you know, most of society is not gonna understand that little tidbit that we just talked about, the desire to be ordered and planned and controlled for those areas that are most important to you. And we're operating on a definition of important that allows you to use your learning has the right level of challenge, you know, has some measure of pride associated with it or it’s embedded into other things that are important to you as well. But I think all of those are contiguous, all of those pieces must be there. So in my mind, they need to be a part of the definition. And we may not have the perfect verbiage, necessarily, however, that's exactly where I would start because all those little pieces are really driving the day to day or, you know, actions that you take over time to move something across the finish line. And so I'd say that, that would be one of your signature strengths if we're mashing a couple of those together. And I think the other one has to do with learning separately, because that's really creating that foundation, creating that bedrock for you to enable all of these other pieces. In my mind, I've been putting that off because I'm trying to figure out how to quantify that for you or help you quantify that. But let's see if we can get through that piece of it together here in the next couple of minutes or so too.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 41:26
I mean, one of the things I've come up with since I started working in this is that, I love new situations and learning, and I actually actively look for opportunities to push myself out of my comfort zone. So, and if I look back at past roles, I would tend to have… I was asked to go to Milan and to run a major program that had been failing. And I didn't know the nitty gritty, the detail of all the different projects, but I had the organizational skills, the, you know, I wanted to go and learn about the different projects. I wasn't fazed by the fact that I didn't know any of that detail. So I had the challenge of learning, the environment initially and also the challenge of language as I learn Italian. And that gave me… that satisfied my learning, I suppose. And then I was able to use my consistency, harmony and discipline to actually push things forward again over the line. Stopping one situation like I guess where and I enjoyed it in another role, I went into it. Once again, I didn't know the technical topic, but I was using my program management, my organization skills. And then I learned the topics that I would be more effective at my role. So yeah, the learning thing, I enjoy doing that, I don't necessarily want to squint and run the same kind of program as I did before, because then it wouldn't be at my learning piece.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:28
There's a lot of people that fall into the learning category. And there tends to be a lot of different reasons why or what people are getting out of the learning. So I think our answers are there. So let's ask just a couple of questions. Let's see if we can unpack that. If you were not having the doing or application along with the learning because every single example that I've heard so far has some measure of using what you've learned extensively, and even maybe even graduating beyond what the initial learning objective might have been. If that application piece was not there, do you feel you'd still get the same joy out of learning?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 43:11
Yes. An example: I decided I went to Italy when I was 21. And I decided within minutes of arriving in the country that the language was beautiful and I was going to learn it. So I just learned it because I thought it was amazing. But I didn't need it. I didn't use it for years. And I loved the learning process. So I love the language but also I got a major kick out of every time I was able to say another thing or learn to more complex from a more structured, I enjoy that process.

Scott Anthony Barlow 43:34
When you say, “You know, I got a major kick out of when I was able to say another thing.” Tell me about that. What do you mean by that?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 43:41
So let's say for example, when I learned the past tense and suddenly I failed to start talking about the past tense more fluently. And that gave me a feeling, oh I'm getting better and a sense of satisfaction. And I didn't do exams for a while, but then I decided to put myself forward first Tuesday's exams. And shortly after I started work, I was a way of measuring my improvement. I didn't need the qualifications, but for me, it was a way of proving to myself that I was getting better.

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:05
Okay, so if you didn't have the means to see that you were either getting better or learning, would that still feel the same? Like if you were just going through and learning about Italian but not necessarily having that same level of practice or not necessarily having some of those checkpoints or milestones along the way, would that still be just as enjoyable to you?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 44:33
Probably not quite. I like getting a qualification or knowing that I've got to a certain level, which is often achieved by passing an exam. So, I mean, yes, I enjoy the learning, but I really enjoy ticking that box. Now I've achieved that level and I can start working on the next level, as opposed to I think I'm not good, but I'm not quite sure.

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:52
Okay. All right. So for you, it's about the progress not specifically about the learning then. So just as an example, for differentiation. I've coached many people before where they might fall into the other side of the category where they're learning about a particular topic. And for them, it's more about the joy comes in the entertainment of learning, not necessarily the progress that can come from the output of learning. Does that make any kind of sense in terms of differentiation?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 45:24
Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 45:25
Okay. So I think for you, though, it is maybe you're getting joy out of the act of learning it but that other side of it being able to, you know, check the boxes as you said or take some of the exams or accomplish the next thing, part of it is the progression or the progress that happens along with the learning and tandem for you, that is really what is making it most beneficial for you. Okay, alright, so then. So it's not just about learning, it's also about learning something that's important to you, where you can show progress to yourself, too, because it's not necessarily about, sometimes it's about outputs for other people as well. And I think that's where it'll start to engage other areas more frequently, like your consistency, like your, you know, discipline. But initially, you know, learning those things that are important to you where you can, that show that progression. It seems small, but I think that that's something that's really important because think about, think about, like, future roles. If you are just exposed to being… to learning things that are not important to you, but required in one way or another, that's not gonna be a good fit, or vice versa. If your goal is to learn without progression, that's not gonna feel as good to you either.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 46:48
Yeah. Progression doesn't need to be an exam, it can be other ways of. For example, in Spanish, I didn't do exam but when I first ran a conference call in Spanish then that was a mark of progress, for example.

Scott Anthony Barlow 46:59
Yes, absolutely. But you have to see that progression. Otherwise, it doesn't feel the same to you.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 47:05
Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 47:06
Okay. So we're hitting on things that are really, they seem small, but they're actually really big for you. And you have these pieces that we've talked about here, not just for learning, but for the other areas too that are really deep level needs and giving you a lot of satisfaction in one way or another. So I think it's gonna be really important for you that you're focused on these smaller pieces in your next role, like the opportunity to learn with progression as an example or like the ability to make sure that you're lined up, first of all with a situation working on stuff or with an organization or with people that you feel is important to you and falls into that category and is that the right level of challenge and allows you to, here's something else we didn't talk about, but that progression, I think is common to a lot of these different areas of your strengths, allows you to, for lack of a better word, level up over time where you're not working on the same exact thing over and over again, because I think what I'm hearing from you is that, you know, once you learn it, once you apply it, once you meet that progression, if you're continuing to do that same thing over and over again, for a long period of time, that's no longer going to feel challenging. And then it's going to feel, even if the other pieces are there, it's not going to be good for an extensive period of time.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 48:31
No, it's hard to feel bored.

Scott Anthony Barlow 48:33
Yeah, absolutely. Does that make sense how we're starting to then take these tiny pieces and apply them back in the form of what you're actually looking for. So we've got really basic definite, really basic definitions for some of your signature strengths. And I think you can continue to hone and wordsmith those, in terms of what feels right. But these subtleties that we're talking about are the and how these overlap are really the most important pieces for you. Because if you're missing them out of your work, it's going to be misaligned or it's going to feel misaligned. You're going to be like, I don't know why this feels misaligned.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 49:08
Yeah, and this isn’t the right role for me and I need to leave. Okay, now this has been really, really useful and I'm allowed to think about now. It’s just good.

Scott Anthony Barlow 49:19
Okay. So, just to kind of round it out here, initial reactions or takeaways, what's one thing that was reaffirmed for you, and then I'll ask, you know, what was one thing that was a new way to think about it for you? So we can capture these.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 49:31
I seem much better now how my five or seven Clifton strengths tied together and the ones that I had felt were really not that much of a big deal, I can see better how they now fit in into me as a person and to my strengths and where they come from. And that was a kind of a new thing. Reaffirm, I guess I had kind of started the "5 Whys" or it's not always why can be false or why or whatever, as well. And I had started asking myself those questions that I had got some of the way but I just hadn't gone far enough. So it's been… and I can see now still got a lot of work to do. I need to do the same with some of my other with some of my other skills and get to the bottom of those.

Scott Anthony Barlow 50:06
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that there are these desires that drive you and I am using the word desires because it's definitely something that is deep rooted that you want. And I mean, we could even go further and say, “Hey, how did you acquire these desires, you know, along the way?” And we could go into the clinical side of it. But I'm not sure that that, unless, you really want to explore that, you know, with somebody else later, I don't think that that matters as much. I think what's important here is that you know that you get a lot out of being incredibly organized. And you get a lot out of feeling more in control where you can for those areas that are really incredibly important to you for other reasons. And I think the more that you can work with that, rather than against that is gonna change your quality of life over time. Because yes, sometimes those things are gonna cause stress but also the other side to like you not feeling in control or not having pieces in place to allow that feeling of control to satisfy that desire, then that's also gonna cause stress if it's one to the other way.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 51:15
Yeah. If I don't have a project plan, then yeah, if I let myself get into a situation where I don't have a project plan and for whatever reason, it doesn't happen very often. But then yes, I start to feel stressed.

Scott Anthony Barlow 51:23
Yeah, exactly. So the more that you can recognize those pieces and just call it for what it is like, look, I need this, I get a lot out of this I benefit tremendously when it is this particular way and find those ways that interact with those strengths and ultimately, those desires that are driving a few of these strengths here, then that's gonna continue to refine your quality of life, especially as you continue to change roles or organizations or whatever over time or make future equivalent of whatever would be the way you address for the next project. Oh, there'll be, like, something else.

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 51:57
Never again. There’ll be something, yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 52:00
But yeah, absolutely. That's, I think, really, really great takeaways, anything else that I can do for you to help make this tangible and useful for what we've covered so far?

Judith Ní Bhreasláin 52:12
No, I don't think so. I think this has been really useful for me and as I say, I have a lot of thinking to do and I'm work now to use the kind of conversations we've had and use the techniques that we've used with me and and see how I can apply them some of the other things I've got on my list of skills.

Thomas Williams 52:29
For me, having that knowledge and having that understanding is that I just had to focus on doing something every single day. So, for the hardest part for me was the identity piece, because I never had practice or experience doing anything else. It was gaining confidence doing something new that I've never explored nor been complimented for.

Scott Anthony Barlow 52:50
All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player, so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

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The Importance Of Asking For Help: Career Change Advice From A High Performer

on this episode

We’ve all experienced setbacks in life, but it’s about how we react to them that makes the difference between reaching our goals or letting them fall by the wayside.

When it comes to career change, many people, including High Performers, are bound to stumble on a few things before ultimately reaching their new career.

Is your career change going nowhere fast?

It was for our guest, Sarah Hawkins. That is, until she asked for help (when she knew that she needed it!).

what you’ll learn

  • How to negotiate – even if you’ve never done it before and it scares you to death
  • The keys to overcoming your mental (and physical) challenges to make a career transition
  • The importance of figuring out what’s holding you back so you can work around it

Success Stories

I had listened to the Happen To Your Career podcast for several years before reaching out to Scott about getting career coaching. I'd been in my role for nearly 10 years, wanted to stay, but felt like it was time to renegotiate. What I expected/hoped for was maybe a 10% raise MAX, as I was already near the top of my salary range for the area. Scott pushed me to ask for more, helped me feel confident I was worth that ask, and coached me through how that will probably go, what to say, when and how to say it, what not to say, etc. I walked into my boss's office prepared and he knew it. As my request went higher up the chain, they knew it as well. My preparations and HTYC's great coaching paid off, in a few week's turn around time I was given a 20% raise, and renegotiated job duties which will help me enjoy my job even more! I highly recommend both their podcast and coaching services, Scott and his team are the real deal!

Justin, Engineer

Thank you for guiding me through the negotiation process of asking for a raise. Even in this economy you convinced me to follow through. I also appreciate your thoughts on what I should include in my portfolio; it made the difference in the value added that I was able to present to my supervisor.

Ken Russell, Career Placement Coordinator, United States/Canada

I stumbled across HTYC through an article and it gave me hope again. After a Strengths Finder review session with your career coach and the Figure Out What Fits course, I've finally admitted to myself what I really want to do, what I really want out of life, and have made a decision.

Kevin Long, UX Programmer, United States/Canada

Sarah Hawkins 00:01
I was called myself a dabbler. I like to do things for a little while but then when it started to get too in depth and too and you know where you'd have to be like an expert, I just lost interest or it just wasn't worth that extra step to become an expert.

Introduction 00:24
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:49
As you're listening to my voice right now, that means that you have experienced some kind of setback in life, maybe many setbacks. And what I've learned is that it's not really about the setbacks, it's about how we react to those setbacks, that makes the difference between either reaching our goals, or letting them slip away. Now, when it comes to career change, even high performers are bound to stumble across a few obstacles before ultimately reaching their new career. In fact, I would say, that high performers even will encounter more obstacles, because they're often reaching higher. Turns out, this is exactly what happened to Sarah Hawkins.

Sarah Hawkins 01:30
So I guess I just never found anything that I liked enough to stay with it for a really long period of time. So I tended to kind of just bounce around to different things, usually falling into the office management, administrative type stuff, just because I'm really good at juggling a lot of things. And I learned really quickly. And so I tend to just do well in that kind of environment, because I'm able to help with just pretty much anything they need. But it just wasn't very satisfying, I guess, because there's just not a lot of growth in that, at least not in my path. You know, because you just kind of jump around, I did a real estate appraisal for a while. And stick either, you know, it was kind of like I did all my classes to get my credential. And it was kind of like, "do I really want to do this for the rest of my...? No, I don't." So I stopped that kind of thing. And so I felt like I kept having all these false starts, which made me feel like I wasn't really building much of a resume to where I kind of had to keep starting entry level places. So I was eventually being supportive roles to people just coming out of college, I'm in my mid 30s. And it was really disheartening because I knew I was capable of so much more.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:37
Absolutely.

Sarah Hawkins 02:38
But I just didn't never feel like I could reach higher because I didn't have the "experience" kind of a thing. And that's where I think this course really helped me get my mind around the idea that you have traits and talents and experience that can translate across sectors and across job descriptions and all that kind of stuff. You don't necessarily have to have the same job description for 15 years to have it apply to a new position, if that makes sense.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:06
Yeah, that makes a ton of sense. And I want to back up for just a second because the backstory is that you've gone through our career change bootcamp program. And that's what you're referring to in the course. But for everybody else here, how did you find us? How did you encounter HTYC in the first place? I'm curious.

Sarah Hawkins 03:24
I'm very anti social media, I just don't do it, not something that I'm good at and keeping up with and all that kind of thing. But I finally got a LinkedIn account because I was starting to look for work, and reading all the articles and all that. And one of my contacts, I believe, posted one of your articles, talking about strengths. And I downloaded your little handbook thing on strengths and kind of a real quick, abbreviated version. And then there was an option to sign up for a webinar. So I did that and really liked what I heard in terms of finding my strengths and doing something that I love, which I kind of had expected, that just wasn't going to be an option for me because I didn't know what that was. So I kind of just expected that I was just gonna flounder around in my career for the rest of my life. So it was really settling, I guess, you know, where I'm just kind of going like, "I don't really want to" but I guess is how I kind of expected the rest of my career life to go. So it was really inspiring to think that that's not necessarily how it has to be. So I signed up for the bootcamp and been a roller coaster ride ever since.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:25
I want to definitely talk about that. But I must super curious too, because you've kind of gone through this sort of mental switch thinking that, okay, it's got to be one or the other almost in terms of like, I just don't think that I'm going to find the stuff that I enjoy and it's going to be able to have any kind of amount of pay, and all of that stuff that so many of us think, actually, I just got a phone call just a little bit earlier today where I was talking to a guy, and he said, "Look, I want to make $200,000 a year. And I also want to have flexibility to be able to go and take my daughter to school" he's got young kids and he's like, "I don't see how I can do both." So he was almost thinking about in terms of, hey, I'm gonna have to choose between these two things, and that they cannot, absolutely under no circumstances, can be an option to do both. And we talked about amp solutions. And I don't know, consider multiple different alternatives. So super curious about your situation too and that, you know, where do you think that came from for you? Like, where do you think that you initially thought that "look, this is not ever going to be a possibility."?

Sarah Hawkins 05:32
I think maybe because I had just tried so many different things, trying to find my niche, trying to find my thing, you know, that I was made to do, and I just never found it. And I just felt like I've been looking for so long and trying for so long. And I've never been able to find it. So it must not be a possibility for me. That must be the unicorn in the woods. It's never gonna be found Bigfoot or whatever. Some people have something that they just are naturally, like, my sister knew she wanted to be a teacher when she was five. I mean, her whole life that's all she wanted to be. And I never had that. And I looked and I tried, and I tried. And I always looked at it as a fault of mine, that maybe I was a little too ADD. I couldn't commit. I couldn't stick with anything, kind of attitude in my mind that it was my fault I couldn't find my thing. Which I don't know if you're wanting to get into this yet but that's one of the things in the course, that was just mind blowingly liberating for me, it was the term multipotentialite. Because you had a webcast on with Emily Wapnick.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:36
Emily Wapnick. Yeah. And she's been on the podcast a couple of times, too, recently.

Sarah Hawkins 06:39
I listened to that. And I was just like, oh, I mean, I was literally running through the house, telling my husband, "I know what I am." That was just so liberating for me not to be fighting that all the time, because I felt like I was always fighting and sorry, for the multipotentialite is just somebody that likes to do a lot of different things, and they're good at a lot of different things. And they don't just have one little niche. And I guess I'd never heard of it in a positive frame before and just like...

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:11
That was sound negative, right? Like, I know I just have that association, it's, "oh, it's bad to be a dabbler."

Sarah Hawkins 07:17
You just can't commit to anything, you can't stick with it. And so soon as it's not fun, or whatever you bolt, and that's not what I wanted. But at the same time, I'm the type that when I'm not mentally engaged, I just die inside. I mean, like my whole soul just withers up if I'm not like mentally challenged and engaged and excited about something. And so I could only stick with something for so long before I could feel the deadening start. And so I realized that, well, it's because I need to be doing different things, the way I'm wired. And so whether I'm doing that on a personal side to kind of help with, if I'm sticking with a career, then do different things on my own, or try to do different things within a role to try to feed that need for newness and challenge and you know, all that kind of stuff so that I don't get the deadening. And it was just really a liberating thing for me to embrace it instead of fight against it. And just like when she said some of the superpowers of, I think I listened to her TED Talk. And she had said, one of the superpowers of a multipotentialite is rapid learning, super adaptable, and there was another one where they can merge ideas. And I am definitely a rapid learner. I'm definitely super adaptable. But I never necessarily looked at those as strengths. And I never looked at that as a benefit to being the way I was. So just kind of having that all tied together was just, I mean, really, I was on cloud nine for like days, just kept telling my husband, "I know what I am" I was like, you have no idea. I mean, it was just something that I mean, it was never really spoken other than I would just say I'm a dabbler, I don't, you know, but to have it verbalized by someone else and explained and treated positively, was just a huge leap for me in thinking about what's possible in the future.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:08
That's so interesting. And a little bit of backstory for everybody listening too, within career change bootcamp, we have guest instructors come on about once a month-ish or so. And we've had Emily Wapnick, who's also been on the podcast come and do a session specifically for that group that's gone through a career change bootcamp. And that's what Sarah is referring to, when, there's one of the pieces that happens to be in there. But I feel like that's a big part of what we do and when we're working with people is really just, actually, almost everything that we do is just people align who they actually are with their work and understanding the ways to do that, because that's a lot of what I just heard you say is, "hey, wait, this is actually a good thing that I am this way." And there is... and are ways to be able to use that to your advantage.

Sarah Hawkins 09:59
Yeah, and embracing it will make me happier and more fulfilled if I embrace it instead of trying to fight it. And I think that's what I've been doing my whole life is trying to fight it. And that's something that needed to be disciplined out of me, kind of a thought process. And I was just never very successful at doing that. So yeah, just really, I'll be happier if I can just embrace who I was created to be. And that's a good thing.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:24
That is so cool. And I feel like eventually get to have that mental switch that you're talking about where they flip over and start thinking about what they do or who they are, or some of the things that they offer as a positive and start going with the grain rather than against the grain. That's why the easiest way to describe it. But that is something that we, in a variety of different ways, it doesn't always happen the same way. It's not watching the Emily Wapnick video, necessarily, or whatever else it might be but that is our personal goal is to have everybody have that moment.

Sarah Hawkins 10:55
Right. And I think you guys provide so many different ways to make that happen, or to at least facilitate that happening. I do think it does take somebody willing to do the inner reflection and the work. And it's not something where you're just going to sign up, and then somebody from Happen To Your Career is going to tell you what your perfect job is. And you know what I'm saying, it's not something that you guys necessarily provide as much as you guys facilitate. And so the person that is wanting the answers needs to do the work to figure it out. And it's a lot of self reflection, it's a lot of self honesty, it's a lot of looking at things the way you may be having in the past, and being willing to be open to what is your inner self really truly saying to you, and not just what you hear everybody else saying it should be. And I just think that's an important component. And I think you guys are really good at facilitating that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:03
What caused you to want to make this last, most recent change?

Sarah Hawkins 12:08
Well, I have had some really horrendous health problems. It's been the last 20 years but the last 10 to 12 have been exceptionally difficult, resulting in me needing to leave the workforce because I couldn't walk anymore and it was in tons of pain and bedridden for at least a year, probably closer to two. And it was a really bad, I mean pretty much praying to die kind of scenario. And so I had eventually come to the realization that I will never work again, you know, I can't even walk and I'm in so much pain. It's not like a wheelchair would help, I thought about that. And so, my husband had his own business. And so miraculously, I found a solution to my health problems. And it's a long recovery process but I've already made so many leaps and bounds back to life that I felt being called to go back to work. And so I had been helping my husband probably the last year or two in his business, but it's not anything I'm really interested in, it was just a way to help contribute to the family. But I was kind of at a place where it's time to go back to work, out of the house, which was very scary, because I had to leave under the conditions of, I can't physically do this anymore, which was really hard for me, because I always take a lot of pride in my ability to pretty much handle what anybody needs to have to gradually be saying, "No, I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that" until eventually, I had to come home and lay in bed all day, for a year or two, was a really, really difficult thing mentally for me and emotionally. And so it was extremely daunting to try to think about trying to get back into the workforce but it also gave me an opportunity to think about what do I want to do, because I kind of had this unique time where I'm not needing to report to another job, really, I mean, I'm working with my husband but there's a lot of flexibility in that. And so I had the opportunity to really just kind of try to figure it out because when I started trying to look for a job, gosh, it was so disheartening, it was just so hard to get your resume in anywhere. And my resume I knew was too vague, but it was because I didn't know what I wanted to do. And so I just threw everything I've ever done on there, to see if it appealed to somebody that could then approach me with an opportunity that maybe I would want, you know, because I didn't know what I wanted. And so it was really hard to tailor a resume. And so I started looking around trying to find services that could help me figure out what I wanted to do. And you know, I was reading all these articles on LinkedIn, and Glassdoor and everywhere else just trying to figure out, what do I ever want to do? You know, because the idea of going back to just being an admin was just so, I just didn't want to do it. It was just like, I told my husband, "I know I need to, I just don't want to at all" you know, and it's that's not any way you want to start a new job, just something that you just are doing just to make ends meet, and you don't want to do it. So that's kind of what started me on the path of finding you guys was I was searching, you know, I'd contacted a few resume writer people and just said, "I'm looking for somebody that can help me figure out what it is that I shouldn't be doing. I'm capable of doing a lot, but I just don't know what the right thing is. And I need help." And most of them were like, "Oh, well, once you know what you want to do, we can help you tailor your resume." So I was kind of stuck. I didn't know where to turn, which was why it was so awesome when I found you guys, because I was like, "Oh, this is what I need. I know this is what I need. And I don't know how they're going to get me there. But I believe that they will." And so that's kind of what prompted the career change was getting back into the market after being out. I think I've been gone for four years from outside employment. And you know, prior to that I was seriously struggling. So work in general has a kind of a painful connotation for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:18
I didn't realize the whole story. That is... it's amazing, actually.

Sarah Hawkins 16:21
It was definitely daunting, definitely scary. That's what I would tell everybody when they're like, "you're looking for a job" and I'm like, "yeah, I'm terrified. But I feel like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. So I'm gonna do it and just trust that it's gonna work out." So that's kind of how I got here.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:37
When you got into the bootcamp then, you started going through and really trying to figure out what it was that you wanted to be doing. What was the hardest part of that process?

Sarah Hawkins 16:45
I think I still had some limitations in my mind just because of my physical issues that are on their way to being better, but aren't quite better yet. So I knew I was capable of certain things but I wasn't necessarily confident in my ability to do what maybe I felt like I really wanted to do. So I did the work of going through to figure out my strengths, which was awesome. But it was hard. There was a lot of times that when I first looked at one of the tasks, I would just go "oh, I don't know" you know, I don't know. And so I really had to dig deep I guess, and really just sit with it for a while and think about it. And when I was going to the grocery store, thinking about it, when I was working thinking about it, so that I could kind of really force myself to answer the question as if I was in like a classroom or something and the teacher was waiting for an answer. I've got to come up with something. And so I would start and then before I know it, their thing would be full or it would be multiple pages, you know, where I was like, "oh, wow, I had a lot more in there than I thought" I think you had to stopped when you're as unhealthy as I was, and as sick as I was, you stop dreaming, number one, and you stop hoping for your future, number two. So for a really long time, I have stopped dreaming about a future or dreaming about what I wanted to do, or even just like traveling or anything like that, you just can't allow yourself to go there. Because where you are, you just feel like that will never happen. So it's just disappointment in store if you dream, so you just kind of shut it off. And so it was a really hard thing for me to start it up again, and start thinking about like, "Okay, if I could do anything, what would it be?" Because that's not been an option for me, and probably 20 plus years, if I could do anything, because in my mind, I'm like, "Well, I can't do anything." So I have to temper it with what I'm physically able to do. And so that was really hard for me, I think, kind of getting out of that mindset of, there's a lot of limitations on me. And realizing that okay, not as many as there used to be and it won't always be this way anymore. You know, my kind of getting my hope back for my future.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:58
That's a massive, like most people it takes like 15 years sometimes to go through that type of mindset shift, I'm going to call it, for lack of a better phrase right now.

Sarah Hawkins 19:07
Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:08
That's huge.

Sarah Hawkins 19:09
Yeah, it was for me. I mean, it really made a big difference. And I really learned a lot about myself in terms of, I always knew I wanted to help people like that was something I knew was always something I liked. But it wasn't until I really looked down at all my jobs, and all my projects, and all that kind of stuff, where we have to write down what was kind of the thing I loved about each of those, that I saw the theme. Wow, I really like helping people. It's really important to me, because that's the thing I loved about everything I've ever done, but I didn't ever really make that connection before. And so for me, my dream was always back when I was healthier, but my dream was always that when I retire, I would love to go do disaster relief, like hands on helping people at their worst time. But that's a very physical thing. And so I had kind of written that off as well, uh, well. And so I think when I was talking to Lisa, who's one of the bootcamp coaches, I had called her because it was the time to figure out what kind of companies you wanted to approach. And I had no clue. So I knew what my strengths were now, which was great, but I still had no clue what I wanted, or what would be a good fit for me. And I mean, I had like pages of possible careers that I was like, I don't know, I mean, maybe this would work, maybe this would work, you know. And so I think she called it my runaway train of a mind of just being like, well, there's this, I mean, they were all over the place. Part of that multipotentialite thing, you know, where it was just like, well, I could be a writer, or I could be a logistics operator, or, you know, it was just like all over the place. And so she kind of helped me zero. And I actually said out loud, which I didn't expect, but I said, "well, my dream job would be disaster relief, or something like that with nonprofit." And she was like, "Okay, hold on. Then why are you looking at all these other things?" And I said, "Well, I can't do that. I can't do disaster relief, I'm physically not able." But then she kind of helped me steer me in the right direction of, "okay, but then there's other things you can get into, that can still fulfill that part of you, maybe in the nonprofit world that you can be making a really big positive difference in people's lives, that isn't as physical, maybe look in those areas." And so that's what I did. That's how I got this job, you know, I've never even really considered nonprofit before, it just was never even anything in my radar.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:31
Super, super cool. And one of the things that I know behind the scenes too, is that not only did you go through the interview process and going from deciding that, “Hey, nonprofit, for me, could be an option.” But then you ended up getting the job and negotiating for the first time, is what I understood. Is that right?

Sarah Hawkins 21:52
Yes, I've never ever in my life negotiated a salary, a position, anything, I was always of the mind, which part of it and I don't necessarily know where it comes from other than maybe my health problems. I mean, those started probably in fourth grade. And I had a hip replacement in my freshman year of college. And so there's just been a lot of things that just, I think kind of whittled away my competence. And so generally when I would get a job, I was just so grateful that they picked me, that I didn't want to rock the boat. I didn't want to look ungrateful, I didn't want to look greedy. I mean, a lot of the things that are typical, but I just never, ever would dream of negotiating. And so you guys kind of gave me the confidence that it's okay and you can go about it the right way, that there aren't bad feelings, and I definitely stressed about it ahead of time, but I did it because I felt like I needed to push myself in that way and try. And if it didn't work out, then that probably wasn't the organization for me anyway. And so I did, and they were very receptive and did what they could. And we ended up kind of restructuring the job title. And...

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:03
They really manage it well.

Sarah Hawkins 23:05
Yes, that was the job.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:07
You are a manager but we're tweaking some stuff so that you can set it up, so that you can get increase a little bit later on, right?

Sarah Hawkins 23:16
Yeah. So the job I was interviewing for was operations manager. And so when the salary came in low, I came back and just said, "Well, this is what I was hoping for" I, you know, kind of did your script and said, you know, "what can we do to bring this up, you know, to get closer to what I'm, you know, looking for?" And so they said, "Well, honestly, not much." And there was a variety of reasons for that. But they said, "Well, let us talk about it and see what we can do." And so they called me back and said, "Well, you know, they bumped it up slightly, this opening salary" but then they said, "what we would do is actually demote your title." At first, you're kind of like, "ah, what?"

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:50
Wait, hold on. No, no.

Sarah Hawkins 23:52
Like, "I'm sorry." Negotiated. But they said, "we'll demote your title. And then in a year, that opens you up, puts you on a path that you can then get a promotion to operations manager" which they would be able to give me a larger bump in salary with a promotion, than they would be able to do within the same role as like either a starting salary or a raise.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:16
Based on their infrastructure and their board of directors and everything else like that. Hey, by the way, when you quick piece of advice, because I know from doing this a lot that based on how you've gone into it, you might even be able to do that earlier than a year, when you get a chance, go back into the career change bootcamp, go login and search for one of the bonuses that comes with it, which is get a raise guide, and it'll guide you through the process, potentially even do that earlier. Or go outside of the boundaries for what the "policies" or pay bounds or everything else like that is too. So small tidbit.

Sarah Hawkins 24:55
Yeah. Thank you. That'd be great.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:57
Yeah.

Sarah Hawkins 24:58
That worked out. I'm happy. I felt like they were willing to work with me. And they're excited about having me come on board. And that was a scary thing for me too but I was thinking, well, “I don't know, if I just barely edged out someone else. I mean, I have no idea. And then if I'm being difficult, are they gonna then just go with their number two?” And so that was something that was really difficult, really hard for me to just kind of trust that I can handle this, and I can do it in such a way that I don't appear difficult. And...

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:27
A roller coaster that you end up going through the end, you're like, "Yes, I want this job, cuz it's awesome. I don't want it to go away. Like what if I... what if they're gonna...?" Yeah.

Sarah Hawkins 25:37
When I talked to Lisa, on our negotiation call, she was like, "so how are you feeling?" And I said, "honestly, I just, I had really hoped that there would just be one piece of this that wasn't so hard." You know, I didn't have to sit there and negotiate or I didn't have to, you know, because it was just something I really didn't want to do. So it was just kind of it really took the excitement of the roll out of it for me that I was going to have to negotiate, you know, because I was like, hey, I got an offer. But then I was like, oh, they're gonna make me negotiate. I was like, you know, it was really, a roller coaster is a perfect way to put it. I was happy, and then I was devastated, and that I was scared. And I mean, it was just all over the place. But I put my...

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:14
But you've just done it.

Sarah Hawkins 26:16
Yeah. Anyway... So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:18
That is so...

Sarah Hawkins 26:19
And now I've done it. So next time, it won't be so scary.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:22
Exactly. Now you can do it for the whole rest of your life, as it turns. Hey, congratulations, again, by the way, like that is just super, super cool. I knew part of the story but I don't know the whole thing. And that is just what you've done is, actually a lot of the things that you've done, are things that most people won't do over their entire life. So I think that's something to be proud of, personally.

Sarah Hawkins 26:43
Thank you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:44
Yeah, well, I just got to say thank you so much for letting us play a small part in it, and for letting us push you a little bit. And clearly, it's turned out really, really well for you. And thanks for making the time to be able to come on and share your story with other people too, because I think that there's so much that other people will take from this and our listeners, because they're facing those same types of problems, the same exact things that you have. So it just means a lot. I appreciate it.

Sarah Hawkins 27:11
Oh, thank you so much for having me. I was happy to do it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:13
If you've listened to the show for any length of time, you know we spend a fair amount of time talking about signature strengths. But figuring out your signature strengths can actually be really difficult if you try and do it by yourself. Small secret, but maybe isn't really a secret, is that sometimes, a lot of times, your signature strengths aren't always obvious to you. This is because to you, it's just what you do. It's what you're able to do. It's what comes easy to you, you're embedded in it. And you think that because it's easy for you, it just isn't a big deal for everyone else. For example, you know, think of that time that you got praise from boss or coworker for all the work that you did on a particular project and you shrugged it off as "no big deal". It's probably happened a lot. What you saw, as normal, others could see as a special set of talents. This is just a clue, just a set of clues to begin figuring out your signature strikes. All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

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Goal Setting: How Scott & Alyssa Have Learned To Set Impactful Goals

on this episode

Every single year my wife Alyssa and I sit down to pencil out our goals for the next year. But this year we sat in a hot tub in Austin Texas. 

Ok let me explain. We’ve done goal setting for over 13 years now, but funny thing…we’ve hit almost all of our goals. That sounds like a good thing right? Well it felt like a good thing, until recently. we started realizing that maybe we’re thinking way too small. Maybe we could be making a much larger impact for ourselves, our clients, our team members and our family and friends. 

Now for the last few years in a row we’ve shared on the podcast exactly what we’ve learned from setting goals as a couple for over a decade. Check out episode 386 if you’re interested in seeing the progression. 

This year we decided we wanted some outside help to break through our own mental limitations that we suspected we were placing on ourselves. 

Now I don’t consider myself as someone who thinks small and I acknowledge that we’ve done many things that our friends tell us seem impossible, but I had no idea just how small I was thinking. That is until we went to attend the One Thing Goal Setting conference in Austin Texas. If you’re not familiar with “The One Thing”, it’s a book by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. I met Jay when he came on the podcast back in 2017. He now co-owns a company by the same name with a long time friend Geoff Woods.   

Success Stories

Alyssa Barlow 00:02
And I think in the past, I've always felt like, "Oh, we have to have financial goals, and we have to have health goals. And we have to have spiritual goals. And we have to have goals for the kids. And we have to have the goal for this and the goal for that." And this year, I really felt like I was able to narrow that focus and just think, one, what's the one thing I want to change this year?

Introduction 00:28
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:52
Every single year, my wife, Alyssa, and I sit down to pencil out our goals for the next year. But this year, we sat in the hot tub in Austin, Texas. Okay, let me explain. We've done goal setting now for about 13 years. But funny thing, we've hit almost all of our goals. This sounds like a good thing, well, it felt like a good thing until very recently. We started realizing maybe we were thinking way too small. Maybe we could be making a larger impact for ourselves, our clients, our team members, our family or friends. And now, for the last few years in a row, we've actually shared on the podcast exactly what we've learned from setting goals as a couple for at this point over a decade. Check out episode 386 if you're interested in seeing the progression in last year's. This year though, we decided we wanted some outside help to break through our own mental limitations that we suspected we were placing on ourselves. Now I don't really consider myself as someone who thinks small. And I acknowledge also that we've done many things that our friends tell us seem impossible, but I really had no idea just how small I was thinking. That is until we went to attend 'The One Thing' goal setting conference in Austin, Texas. By the way, if you're not familiar with 'The One Thing', it's a book by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. And I met Jay when he came on the podcast back in 2017. He now co-owns a company by the same name, 'The One Thing', with a longtime friend Jeff Woods. Today, I bring on a special guest, back on the podcast, my wife, and also our CFO of our company Happen To Your Career, Alyssa Barlow. Welcome back to the podcast.

Alyssa Barlow 02:47
Thank you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:48
Okay, I'm excited to do this again. Last year, we went through "What were some of the top three things that we've learned from a goal setting for many years. And what worked really well, as a couple? And what hasn't worked over the last few years?" This year, we have a different objective, though. This year, we want to talk about a few different things. We're going to cover what changed about how we've thought about goal setting for this year, and then maybe also over the years. And then we're going to share our three biggest takeaways from this year, going to Austin Texas, doing goal setting with a... not by yourself anymore, but we're actually, you know, getting help with that. And then, what was most beneficial about getting way out of the ordinary to be able to set goals? So I am super curious, I have my own thoughts here. But for you, when you think about this year, in particular, what do you feel like has changed about how you view setting goals?

Alyssa Barlow 03:59
I think traditionally, I am not the big thinker in the relationship. And so it's a little more difficult for me to think about things in a big way. I traditionally like the linear steps to getting to the things we're thinking about. But like you said, after reaching our goals for year after year, I kind of started wondering like, well, if we're hitting all these goals, sometimes hitting them, you know, three, six months into the year and then having to come up with new things that we want to strive for, that maybe we weren't setting them big enough in the first place that maybe we could achieve more if we started looking bigger earlier.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:44
Now, hold on. So you said achieve more and I think that both you and I would probably describe ourselves as achievers, right. Can I ask you about that, like, what that means for you as an achiever? How do you think about that?

Alyssa Barlow 05:01
Well, I mean, I like to check the boxes. I love to make to-do lists and checkboxes off. I think you're right, like, I definitely am an achiever. It feels good to be able to check boxes and say it's done. But when you're checking all the boxes, and it's done early, it's a great feeling but then it made me start wondering if maybe there could be more boxes to check or bigger boxes to check.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:25
I think that's definitely something I resonate with, too, I enjoy hitting the goal. I mean, I also enjoy the process. And I've learned to enjoy the process over the years. I haven't always enjoyed the process, honestly. But the checking that box and wanting to check that box definitely feels very, very good. You know, I think that for me this year, one of the biggest things that changed in how I view goal setting is that if we're setting far larger goals, far, far, far larger goals, we've chosen to set some really, really, really aggressive goals. And this year, we're looking much, much further ahead to, you know, we looked at 20 plus years ahead in the future. And I would say that's one thing that was different for me. We've done that sometime, looked far ahead, but we haven't done that every single year with every goal. So that was one major difference for me. But I think the challenge there that I experienced is this idea of being okay if we don't entirely hit the goal. And what I mean by that is that if we're setting our goals large enough, and if especially if we're setting them across multiple years, really, I mean, everything that we set this year, supports our longer term goals, and is very meaningful to us or very emotionally connected to it, you know, for example, you know, I really very, very much want to be around not just for our grandkids, but I very much want to be around and still be in a high quality of health for... to be able to see their kids, and you know, have this goal where, particularly for our grandkids, I want to be there to like run up the stairs with them, and I want to be there to, like actively play with them and have it just be no big deal because I'm in really, really great quality of health. And, you know, on a smaller scale this year, there's things that I can do to support that goal, but the challenge for me is really trying to be okay with... if we've got these really, really aggressive goals. Because for me, that means that I am setting up to live well past 100, in fact, I've set my goal, I really want to burst through 120 and be able to live till 140. And I think we're reaching a time in which that's very possible. And that sounds really aggressive for so many different reasons. And regardless about how you feel about that, I think that the challenge here is whether we're talking about health, or whether we're talking about, like, you know, a monetary goal. I'm still reconciling with being okay with not reaching the year to year goals, because we've checked so many boxes in so many past years, and it feels so good. And I think that we're shortchanging ourselves. So I'm curious, how do you feel about that? Like, you and I had a conversation about... I don't think you were totally okay with it either, but share with me what you feel about that?

Alyssa Barlow 08:47
I think the what... in this particular framework that we use this year to set goals, I think what was helpful to me was that the end goal didn't necessarily have a time date attached to it. 'The One Thing' framework for goal setting, your largest goal that you set, they call it a someday goal. So I mean, you may have in mind, you want that in 10 years, 20 years, 40 years, but it doesn't necessarily have a specific end date attached to it. It's someday. Someday you're achieving for that. And then you work backwards from there, which helps me because I am that linear thinker, I want the boxes to check along the path. I want to know how I'm working towards it. So for me to think way someday in the future, I could think and dream about things that I want to see someday in the future, and then back them down to what that could look like in 10 years, 5 years, 1 year, and what do I need to do this year in order to start moving towards that. I think for me, that was the big thing. It was a movement towards that not necessarily completing it. It was just the movement forward.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:59
And I think that's a really great point. Because if you learn to focus on the movement, like, that does so many things, first of all, like, it allows us to be able to spread far larger goals across many, many years. But also, I mean, the cliche, enjoy the journey, right? If we're focused on the movement, that really is synonymous with the journey in so many different ways. And I think that that is a... how shall I say it, I think that that is something that... as I become more and more okay with it, and I still don't know that I'm completely okay with it, I think I am still reconciling with that in many different ways. However, as I become more and more okay with that, it allows being able to be content with where I am, while simultaneously striving to improve and go after the, you know, the impacts and the things that I want, and we want, it allows for them to coexist. And that's something that... geez, especially if you go back, I don't know, 7, 8, 9, 10 years ago, that's been a huge struggle for me. It felt like those can't coexist in so many different ways. So let's talk about takeaways, then, your biggest takeaways. What was your third biggest takeaway, we'll say?

Alyssa Barlow 11:27
I think that along those same lines because I'm an achiever, traditionally, in the past it's been difficult for me to quote unquote "fail", I guess, at things. And so when you're setting huge goals way out in the future, it can be daunting to think that you might fail on that goal, but like we were just talking about, it's more about the movement or the journey forward. I don't know if it was my third biggest takeaway or not, but a large takeaway that I had coming out of the weekend, just being around so many other people, one, hearing the other people have that fear as well, that fear of failure, and that it's really daunting to do that. But I think the takeaway from that was that, in order to... it's almost a cultural thing, like, there were so many people they're talking about that it was like, "Oh, that's like a cultural thing. I thought it was a me thing that I was just afraid to fail." So for me, the impact was how can we change our children, so that they don't also have that cultural feeling of failure of not wanting to journey forward, because they're afraid they can't make it to the end.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:38
That topic right there. Like, we had a lot of tears, overall. Like, this was a highly emotional opportunity in time, I would say, for us, because the things that we were focused on mattered and what you said right there about, it's not just wanting to change this pattern of how we view this for us, but recognizing that, one, if we don't change it for us, it's gonna be difficult to change it for our kids. And we really both, I think, feel very strongly that we want our kids to be able to have a growth mindset as they grow up, not look at failure in the exact same way that we do, and we want to be able to impact that. And, you know, that was definitely one of my takeaways, too, you mentioned, you know, setting our sights higher, and some of what is associated with that, like, I kept finding, as we were focused on, you know, "What do we want to accomplish in this area? What do we want to accomplish with our finances someday? What do we want to accomplish with our business, Happen To Your Career, someday? What do we want to accomplish with our important relationships, like, your and my relationship someday?" As we were going through those, I kept finding that what I would write down was probably less tool for 10 or 20 years in the future, where we wanted to target. And then after I would write it down and start working backwards, realize this is actually more like, three years or five years. And it's like, wow, I kept bumping into that limitation that I didn't realize I was placing on myself where I just couldn't even imagine in some of those areas, what extraordinary could look like? And that's another thing that I took away too. What would extraordinary look like? You know, we use... here at Happen To Your Career, we use the terminology, "what would ideal look like?" all the time and variations of that question, but for some reason, extraordinary, just felt different to me, maybe because it was just a new work, maybe it was word semantics. However, you know, that felt different to me and really evaluating like, what would just, kind of, beyond, you know, my wildest dreams in each respective area? What would that look like? What could that feel like? What could that be? What are the possibilities? And that was a huge takeaway for me, just evaluating that and practicing that at a larger scale. And I recognize this was my second takeaway, like, what extraordinary looks like is really something that you have to practice? It's harder than it seems to sit down and really evaluate what that could be and what it could look like. What was another one of your takeaways?

Alyssa Barlow 15:45
I think, another one of my takeaways, which also kind of leads into the next question about getting away to do this, but because I have traditionally struggled with thinking bigger in the past, being surrounded by a community of people who were doing the same thing, obviously, we weren't all setting the same goals. However, everyone in the room was setting big goals, 20 year goals, 30 year goals, 40 year goals. Someday, in the future, when you don't even know you're gonna reach it, and these are big, big goals, and then all of a sudden becomes... I don't want to say easier, but it allows you to think differently when you're in an entire room or community of people who are also thinking in that same way.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:37
Yeah, I can definitely agree with that. And it was... I don't even want to put it. You talked about the community, it felt like it almost was okay to do that. I think when I have a conversation with people on the street sometimes or just like, just meet people, I don't know, here in Moses, Lake Washington, Moses Lake is a pretty rural community, I would say it's a fairly conservative community. Like many times, I find myself explaining what a podcast is to people that I meet here, you know, in and about and around town, like, obviously, you all know what a podcast is. However, there's a lot of people in Moses Lake that don't really know, right, so if that gives you any sense of, you know, kind of the general vibe of the community that we live in, and we love it for so many different reasons. However, I would say that, you know, growth mindset is not popular in Moses Lake in many different ways. That said, though, being in that community of people, it felt like it made it okay to release what really wanted and sort of gave permission, for lack of a better phrase, to be able to go bigger than what was thought possible. And that was really, really cool, that felt really, really special. You know, my other takeaway, my biggest takeaway was that focus on someday. You mentioned it earlier, I mentioned it earlier, but that was my biggest takeaway. Instead of really placing emphasis on the number of years, I think the idea of someday focusing on, "What do I want to achieve 'someday'? What do I want to do? Who I want to be 'someday'?" releases a lot of the qualifications that we place on ourselves. Because, as I think about, you know what I really want, a lot of times, I am not even realizing that I'm saying, "Well, I can only do that if this happens" or "I don't know if that's really possible because of these other things." And instead, 'someday' releases a lot of the pressures that I don't even know that I'm putting on myself. So, especially, what usually is attached to like, if I'm focusing on specifically 10 years out, or 20 years out, or 30 years out. So starting with, "What do I want someday? Who do I want to impact someday? How do I want to be someday?" is just so much more powerful, and it saved a lot of time and effort, I guess I would say. What about you, what was your last takeaway?

Alyssa Barlow 19:27
I think the last takeaway for me was the part of goal setting. Most people think about setting your financial goals for the year or, you know, much more a health goal or something that's very specific, I guess, very measurable, very action oriented, you know, you can write down specific actions to go with it. But I think like Scott was saying with that word, extraordinary and someday, words like that are not measurable and actionable words. They're much more, I don't know what the right word is...

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:09
They're softer, they're more intangible for sure.

Alyssa Barlow 20:12
Yeah. So thinking about it in that way, allowed me to think about myself, actually. And one of the exercises they had us do was to try and define core values. And that was very difficult for me. Super hard for me to think about what my core values were. But when I finally got to a place where I identified some choices for my core values, and so 100% sure if I have all of them yet, but it allowed me to think about goals around that, as well, not just the super easy, actionable exercise goals, or monetary goals. And one of them for me was parenting, actually. So being able to think about, how can I set a goal around being a better parent? That was huge for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:02
I think that, you know, just like you mentioned, for your values, I think there's something that I saw for you is that, you know, I don't think you'd ever really considered parenting to be something that you value so highly, at all, in many different ways. And I think that gave you the ability to look at it differently. And I think that was really fascinating to be able to see that in action. And I think that allowed you to be able to set goals around it since it is something that is important to you, highly important to you, in a completely different way. And something that I wanted to, I don't know that you and I have discussed this fully since we got back, however, I'm curious about, what are your thoughts about getting away to do this? Because we've, in past years, you know, we might have taken part of a day, and we might have, you know, got a babysitter for the kids or had you're... taking them over to your mom's or any number of other things. And then we would go and set goals, we might go to Starbucks, might go someplace else, but this might be the first time where we've ever taken five days and gone away. Now, in fairness, this is also... this time of year is in conjunction with our anniversary, we've now been together for 22 years, and married for 17. And, you know, both of those anniversary dates happened in November. So there was another reason for us to get away. But I'm curious, from your perspective, Alyssa, what made it beneficial to get away? If it was beneficial. How do you think about that?

Alyssa Barlow 22:51
I definitely think it was beneficial. Yes. Especially since we were looking at goal setting from a different mindset in a different place this year. I think it was really, I think that was really helpful that we were in a totally different mindset in a totally different place in order to think about it in a new way. I think the other thing about getting away, that was nice, in the past, like Scott said, we've done, you know, just like a half a day here or maybe a full day even, I guess maybe one time we did an overnight. But having... being somewhere where we were away and had to travel home actually gave a little bit of time to decompress after the goal setting. So it wasn't just like, "Okay, go go go, we have to write all these goals down, we have to figure out how we're going to do all of this, make sure you got when it's all going to be done by, and now we have to go pick up the kids." It was... we actually had time to talk about things and especially when, you know, we were using a new framework this year, that was totally different for us, we were thinking in a totally different way, we needed that time and space to be able to talk to each other about it, sit on it, go back to it, talk about it again and then be able to actually, you know, formalize something out of it. So the time for that was huge, I feel like. And other thing, 'The One Thing' talks about the goal setting, specifically, they call it "your bunker". So creating a bunker room where there's no distractions, there's no, you know, you're not thinking about the dishes, you're not thinking about the laundry, you're not thinking about picking up the kids, I think that for me was big. I didn't have to think about, "Okay, we have to be back to pick them up at a certain time." Or, you know, are we burdening somebody else because they're keeping them. I mean, this was all pre arranged, everything was set up, we were gone, we knew exactly when we would be home, so I think for me just creating that space around not having to stress about, "Okay, we're running out of time or we're not going to get this finished or we're not going to have time to talk about it later." just having that space to do that in.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:02
That's really interesting. That's the same thing when we were talking about recording this. We each wrote down some different answers to these questions. I didn't see your answers, you didn't see mine but that's the same thing that I wrote down, too, that creating that space was so huge, I think that really made it, because not only did it create the space for... to not have to worry about all the things that normally just would distract us, but I think the other thing is, we really needed to spread it across multiple days. And, you know, as you're listening to this, maybe you don't need that same thing, I don't really know, but for us, that was absolutely huge. I think that's really what made it for us. And we have, sort of, spread it across multiple days in the past. And the way that we've done that in past years would be that we'd meet, initially, during November, we might meet another time to kind of reassess, and then we would finalize our goals on January 1st. And this year, I definitely enjoyed it so much better. I thought it was so much more effective for us, personally, because not only did it create the space in the way that you described it, Alyssa, but also I think, for both of us, it gave us the space to fight through the mental blocks and mental barriers that came up that I did not expect to that level at all, like, maybe I should have, but I did not at all. And also, I think being away out of town in a totally literally separate space, in a separate state in our case, it sort of forced us into a situation in which, like, we have to figure this out. Because I think day one, both you and I felt like, "Oh my goodness, like this is... we're barely into this, like we're barely... how are we going to pull this together in another day or two, in a way that is useful for the whole rest of the year and beyond?" And it definitely felt, at that point in time, like, wow, we're not making any kind of progress whatsoever. And as it turns out, you know, being able to just ask the questions that we were asking at the time, "What is extraordinary look like? You know, what do we actually want in each one of these areas? And what would that look like if we went beyond that in allowing to sit with those questions?" I mean, I know fundamentally, like that's a good thing to be able to do is provide space to consider, like, we do that all the time with clients. I didn't realize how much of an impact that would be for us, and it was a reminder of just how big of ideal that can be. Because the answers usually don't come right away, but it's the act of considering the questions and fighting through all the barriers that stop us from answering those questions that really, really are maybe even, in some cases, harder than accomplishing some of those goals themselves. That was really revealing and a great reminder to me. Here's what I would ask, it's a last question for you Alyssa. You know, what advice would you give... What advice would you give to someone who is just getting started with goal setting or just getting started as a couple with goal setting? What advice would you give to those people?

Alyssa Barlow 28:34
Definitely, no matter where you're at in a goal setting journey, where you've been doing it in the past, or whether you're just thinking, you know, "now's the time, I need to start setting some goals." find your community, find other people, you know, who are like minded, who are thinking in the same way as you, or even other people who have done it before because they can give you insights into the steps to move forward. Or you know, if you've been doing it for a while, how to change your thinking a little bit. That's how we, you know, I say stumbled upon this conference, really, because we had been planning a trip anyway for anniversary. And then it just, it was the right time, and the right place. Scott got the email about it. And I was like, "Oh, yeah, I think we do need to do something different this year. And let's just go for it." So finding that community, finding those people, finding ways to talk to other people about it. I really think that we had thought, you know, "Oh, we're doing so good. We're writing all these goals down every year and we're achieving our goals and we're doing so awesome" But then, you know, at some point, you realize there's more out there and you got to find a community to help you continue getting that more that's out there.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:49
That's awesome. I checkmark next to all of that for me too. And the only thing that I would add to that would be that, as your... we've been doing this in various capacities for now 13 years. And when we started, it was far different. I think we were arguing about it, is probably that's... that looks very different from now, I think, we were definitely not on the same page, we didn't feel it was okay to want different things, I think we felt like, and, you know what, we were talking about this the other day, like, at the beginning, it really felt like we had to want the same things. And we had to just like, force that together so that we could, you know, feel unified and work on it. And I don't think we were totally okay with that, we can... some things we're gonna accomplish together, and some things we are... we want just being different people. And my advice to you would be, if you're doing this with a partner, then, you know, allow for it to be okay that you're doing it imperfectly. It's more important to practice it and get someplace. Someplace in terms of, being able to go through any kind of goal setting process, whatever that looks like for you. And just practice being able to declare to each other what is important to you, you know, even if the first year, that goal never gets hit, even if the first year, you know, it is just that type of conversation. If that's where you're starting, I think that's okay. I think it really, really is. It has to be imperfect, because it doesn't lead to everything else until you go through those types of conversations. And then for those people that, you know, for those people who have been, maybe you've been goal setting for many years, I would challenge you to think, "What could someday look like for you? What could ideal look like for you? What could extraordinary look like for you? And how could that be, you know, more than what you have limited yourself to in so many different ways?" because the one thing that I have found over and over again, is that, you know, as you do more, and you become a different person, and you are achieving more, the really wonderful thing is that you get to share that with other people, you get to share that with your family, you get to share that with your friends, you get to share that with the people that you work with and impact on a daily basis. It isn't just about you, even if some of those goals are set for you, and allowing you to improve in areas that are important to you, it impacts so many other people in the world. So my advice to you would definitely be, look much larger outside yourself. Alyssa, any final parting thoughts?

Alyssa Barlow 32:53
I think the only other piece of advice that I would give, and this is a new piece of advice for me, too, I guess this probably could have gotten in the takeaways as well, but, you don't have to have a goal in every area of your life or, you know, trying to work towards 18 goals this year. I mean, if you even only have one goal, and that was the big thing, you know, obviously it's called 'The One Thing', but, you know, we left the conference with them saying at the end, "One, what's one thing that would change your whole year?" And I think in the past, I've always felt like, "Oh, we have to have financial goals, and we have to have health goals, and we have to have spiritual goals, and we have to have goals for the kids, and we have to have the goal for this and the goal for that." And this year, I really felt like I was able to narrow that focus and just think, "One, what's the one thing I want to change this year?"

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:53
Yeah, I love that. I love that. And that, I didn't mention it earlier either but that was a huge takeaway for me, too, because I think I have forced it. And honestly, some of those are more important than others. Like when you start to prioritize and rank and I mean, again, sometimes I feel like I'm relearning that particular lesson because we literally do that all the time with our clients, we do that all the time for, you know, the people that we serve. And it's true, unless you are focused on less than... it's not going to lead to more in many different ways. And a lot of the times that can really be like, "Hey, what is the one thing that is going to be impacting everything else?" And that's it. That's your lead. Hey, Alyssa, thank you very, very much for making the time. And I know that we've done this the last couple of years but I really really appreciate the opportunity to just sit down with you and talk about this. Like I really legitimately enjoy this and being able to share it with other people. And I know you and I have had many conversations but even a couple of the questions here, we hadn't talked about in the same way. So I really appreciate that very much.

Alyssa Barlow 35:18
Thank you for having me. And it's always a joy to share.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:23
Hey, I would also encourage you, as you're listening to this, to definitely, for sure, think bigger. But I'd also invite you, too, at the same time, you know, if you have goals that are important to you around your career, or you want to set goals that are important to you around your career, and you want that to be the thing this upcoming year, as you go into 2022, and you wanna really want to get ahead on that, drop me an email personally, scott@happentoyourcareer.com and just go ahead and put 'Goals 2022' in the subject line. And what we'll do is either my team or I, we will get that email, we will introduce you to our team, probably Cindy on our team, or Phillip and we'll have a conversation with you and learn about your situation, what you want to accomplish, what you know about what you want to accomplish, what you have yet to figure out, and figure out the very, very best way that we can support you in doing that, and help you make it happen for this year, this upcoming year. So again, just drop me an email scott@happentoyourcareer.com put 'Goals 2022' in the subject line, and then we'll make sure that you're well taken care of. I'm so looking forward to supporting you for anything that is really, really, really up there, really, really important to you in this upcoming year. Hey, appreciate your listening. And if there's anything else you need, you know where to find us. Until next week, we'll talk to you later. I am out.

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Career Change For Lawyers Who Feel Stuck

on this episode

A lot of people feel stuck in their jobs. Trying to break out can seem difficult or impossible (spoiler alert – it’s not actually impossible).

Adam Bloom felt stuck from the very beginning, even as he was about to graduate law school, and entered the workforce as the 2008 recession was starting. The longer he stayed a lawyer, the more he felt stuck. After several attempts to leave, he finally learned how to set himself up to pivot into what he really wanted to be doing.

What you’ll learn

  • How Adam attempted to escape his legal career several times before making it out
  • The importance of of knowing your strengths so that you aren’t stuck in the wrong career wasting years of your life
  • How to overcome setbacks when you’re trying to get to your dream career
  • Why taking chances on yourself can lead to growth and career happiness

Success Stories

It was extremely valuable for me, for a lot of reasons! Just getting ready to make a shift to some sort of understanding what my strengths are, and just really how to bring those to the table and bring those to the forefront in my work and find work situations that are satisfying that hit on those strengths. I owe that largely to our coaching sessions!

Rob Abilez, Chief Compliance Officer & Corporate Counsel, United States/Canada

as I was diving into the bootcamp at Happen To Your Career, and I was really trying to think broadly, I had this moment of thinking, "Okay, should I even should I be a lawyer? What should I do?" so I worked with Happen To Your Career really started trying to dig deep and lay a foundation… it was helpful to have Lisa through the interviewing process, and all the little events like "oh, someone responded like this, how should I respond?" How should I deal with all the steps along the way? I also had a tendency to form myself into what I thought they were looking for and Lisa helped me be who I actually am in the interviews.

Rebecca Maddox, Attorney, United States/Canada

“It’s hard to find something that fits, that’s why so many people change careers. When I finally understood my strengths and how I could apply them it all made sense. It just made it easier to see what types of jobs and roles would fit me. In my new career I get to do the marketing that I love with a company I’m excited about.”

Kirby Verceles, Sales & Marketing Director

Scott has been a tremendous help in bringing focus to my business. Scott enlightened my path towards concentrating on my strengths and doing what I love. I recommend Scott Anthony Barlow to anyone who wants clarity about what they should be doing, and the next step to make your business successful.

Jody Maberry, Began Copywriting & Marketing Business, United States/Canada

Adam Bloom 00:01
And so I left there and finally was like, I want to try some different stuff. But I was applying for jobs. And by that point I've been practicing for six, seven years. And when you're that far into a legal career, nobody wants to let you try new stuff. They want to hire you for the stuff that you know how to do.

Introduction 00:20
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:44
Usually, when people find this podcast, they feel stuck in their careers. Sometimes, it even feels like being in jail.

Adam Bloom 00:52
And I remember the first day they were walking us around and they said they were giving us our offices. And they showed me my office. And I looked in there and I was like, "Oh, no, no. Something is, you know, I'm not going in there." You know, it was literally like the scene in the movie where the guy's been sent to jail, and he's walking down the long hallway carrying his blankets, right? And he has to go like, "here's your cell." That's how I felt where I was just like, great, you know, lock me in this box, why don't you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:21
That's Adam Bloom. Adam finished law school, he entered the workforce, right as the 2008 recession was starting, perfect time, right. Just like Han Solo, he had a bad feeling about it from the beginning. But with the recession starting, he figured he could stick it out until things turned around. Only they didn't. So then later on, he felt pigeonholed not just in law, but even specific areas of practice. He attempted to leave several times trying to figure out how to make his excitement for writing into a career. But he kept hitting wall after wall after wall after wall. Eventually, we got to meet him. And he learned his signature strengths. He learned how to pivot into what he really wanted to be doing. Here, let me actually read you something that you wrote, almost a year ago, not quite a year ago, just maybe 10 days, 11 days, short of a year ago, you wrote in response to "Hey, why do you want to make a career change?" And you said, "I've never enjoyed practicing law. I love writing, especially screenwriting, I would love to transition out of law." And you also...

Adam Bloom 02:33
It's true then, and it's true now.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:34
Yeah. So first of all, congratulations. Because like almost exactly a year later, guess what, you're out and your a week and a half into the new role here. And clearly, this is a much better fit. And I love the comment you made earlier about, you said something to the effect of, you know, "It feels like I have always been a quick learner. And I've always had that capacity for learning. But now that I'm actually doing something that I want to be doing, it's like taking off the ankle weights, and you can just run with it."

Adam Bloom 03:02
Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, it's an interesting bit of timing for me. And we can do the short version, or the medium version, or the long version of my legal career. But I graduated law school in 2008. So I remember I've always thought back on the first day of work that I had, where I got hired by one of the largest law firms in the world called Jones Day in New York. And I was working in their New York office right in midtown Manhattan. And, you know, my dad, who was an attorney took me shopping, and we bought a couple of suits. And I put one on and I take the train to Grand Central. And I remember running up the stairs to get out of Grand Central onto the sidewalk, like, "here we go first day", and I arrived at work, and everyone was like, "Welcome. Here's the deal, the economy is collapsing. A lot of our big clients have gone bankrupt, we don't really have any work for you. We don't know what's going to happen to the firm, you know, try to hold on for dear life." And so immediately, things kind of went sideways where the opportunities that I thought I was going to have to explore options within the legal profession, or even explore options outside of the legal profession. Because the truth is that, I remember having conversations with friends in law school where we were like, "This seems like it's going to be completely miserable. What is your exit strategy for this?"And we were talking about, "I'm going to invest in real estate. I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that." We were already plotting and scheming how we were going to get out of being lawyers before we graduated. And one of the reasons that I went to New York was because in my mind, I always thought of New York as being the place in America that had the most opportunity per square foot that it's like, "I don't know what I want to do next. I've always tried to be open minded and sort of follow my nose and take opportunities as they come. So I'm going to go to New York, I'm going to have a little money in my pocket. I'm going to know people. I'm going to meet people and something will come up." Well that doesn't really happen when you're in the midst of one of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. So everything shifted from, you know, wide open horizons and, like, Mary Tyler Moore sitting around in the middle of the street and throwing your hat in the air to like, just try not to starve to death. Can we do that? How about we can pay the rent and eat food? Let's do that. And so it became a situation where there weren't really options to do anything in terms of exploring career alternatives inside or outside of the legal profession. And I got basically forced down a path of becoming a corporate litigator, and then tried litigation a number of different areas and just never really found a place in it that felt worthwhile.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:30
What do you mean when you say felt worthwhile? What does that mean for you?

Adam Bloom 05:34
You know, it's interesting, I remember when I did orientation, my first year of law school was at University of Arizona, and then I transferred to UCLA where I graduated, but there was a speaker at orientation in Arizona, who gave this very impassioned speech about how being a lawyer was like being a samurai. And he said that one of his favorite feelings was to walk into a courtroom and know that everyone in the courtroom was against him. And he said, "And you take out your sword, and you just weighed in, you know, and you're just going to go and fight and come out with having persuaded everybody to be on your side." And I've worked in politics. And, you know, I kind of, I liked the idea of law as almost a fighting style, where it's like, "I don't want to get in a fight with fists, or knives or guns, I want to get in a fight with words and ideas." That's the kind of battle that I want to have. And that's what I want to do with my career. And I want to find, so I kind of felt like, you know, like Ronin, I was the wandering Samurai, I was looking for the fight that was worth having, you know. I can talk. I can write. I can think. I can strategize, who can I do this for that would feel satisfying would be worth my time. And I swear to you, in 12 years, I don't think I ever found it. And the truth was that the process of litigation was just not interesting to me. It was tedious and boring. And you know, mostly what I found was that the clients who could pay were mostly not worthwhile, and the clients who were worthwhile couldn't pay. And so if you want to have those two sides of feeling like your work is satisfying and having a comfortable standard of living within the legal profession, it's very, very hard. And the other thing that just fundamentally changed in the US economy, like the world just turned, was going into that 2008 recession. I saw the world one way and coming out of it, the world was just different. I mean, I was wrong. I had job offers with law firms in San Francisco, and I turned them down to go to New York, because I said "No, there's more opportunity in New York. New York will be more exciting" wrong. When that dust settled on that 2008 recession, the world revolved around San Francisco, it was Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, and Google, the Fang stocks, those were the people who were defining the future, running the economy, that's where it was at. And I had simply missed the boat. And it just fundamentally shifted the way I thought about where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. You know, as I say, I just never found a home in the legal profession that felt like that combination of the things that you talk about, that you and I have spoken about at length. People who share your values, people who treat you in a way that, you know, you want to be treated, that you enjoy working with, who you enjoy personally, at least to some degree, so that you can spend a lot of time around them, and work that feels meaningful and feels like a fit, and also allows you to support yourself in a lifestyle that meets your needs and your wants, frankly, and I just never found that combination of factors in legal profession. And increasingly felt ridiculous where, you know, as a lawyer, you're working insanely hard on very complicated issues and making just a lot less money than people who are working much less hard on less complicated things that look like a lot more fun. And at some point, I think for me, I woke up and I said, you know, "I don't want to be the lawyer. I want to be the client. I'm tired of helping other people with their stupid ideas. I want to work on my stupid ideas."

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:51
Let me jump in here. You know what's really interesting here, a lot of different things. But one in particular, that orientation that you were talking about where he's describing the role that he has, and looking at it as the Samurai, like, clearly law was right for that person, or at least it sounds like, based on how he's describing it where that was... even though you wanted to be able to, you know, have that war or have that battle, or have that fight with words and being able to do it in that way, like clearly law was not right for you. But I think what's so interesting there is it's so much about finding what is right. And, I know from chatting with you, and just to give a little bit of context here, this isn't something that happens all the time. But Adam and I got the opportunity to do a little bit of work together. Because as you were getting into writing, I know I'm jumping ahead in your story here, part of your experiments were to take on different types of writing and we got to do a couple of projects together, which were super fun, and it allowed me to get to know you and your story a whole bunch more. And one of the things I remember chatting with you about is there were a couple really significant low points in your law career. So I'm wondering if you can describe some of those to us? And then what caused you to decide to make the final decision to transition out of law in one way or another?

Adam Bloom 10:09
Yeah. I mean, as I said, you know, well, first of all, yeah, I thought, I guess to say thank you. I mean, the opportunities that we had to work together were really helpful to me and the career change, both from the perspective of having work and writing work to do that was interesting and had some money coming in. And also, frankly, was extra free education for me and your, sort of, philosophy of career change and, sort of, a philosophy of life overall. Because I think the thing that I came to grasp more and more was this sort of holistic approach to... yeah, you need a good job. But the idea that your job is over here and your life is over there is silly. The two are intertwined in a way that is, you know, completely inextricable, and so you need to think, not just your ideal job, but your ideal life, and how does one fit into the other. And so I felt like, I got a lot of free career coaching out of doing that writing work. So that was extra fun for me. But yeah, I mean, low points in my legal career, you know, I remember starting when you are in law school, the way you get kind of brought into the profession is you get a summer job, and I took a summer job and you interview for them. It's a very intense interview process. You have to do it during the school year while you're studying. And you know, they do call back interviews, you have to travel for the interviews often and, you know, it's very difficult to get one of these jobs, and then you get one. And I remember the first day they were walking us around and they said they were giving us our offices. And they showed me my office. And I looked in there and I was like, "Oh, no, no. Something is, you know, I'm not going in there." You know, it was literally like the scene in the movie where the guy's been sent to jail, and he's walking down the long hallway carrying his blankets, right? And he has to go like, "here's your cell." That's how I felt where I was just like, great, you know, lock me in this box, why don't you. So immediately, it was kind of there were pretty clear signals that this was not going to be a long term fit for me. And then, you know, as I said, I mean, the experience at Jones Day was very difficult, because we were in the middle of a recession. And the firm, you know, was sort of operated on the idea that they always have more work than they could possibly handle, which when the world is not ending is true. But when the economy is collapsing, it requires a different level of planning and management acumen, which frankly, they did not have. And I hung on there for two, almost three years. And then just one day, out of the blue, got a call from the partner who ran my practice group, and he said, you know, "We're gonna have to let you go, you're going to have to look for something else." And I, you know, I asked him "why". And he said, "Well, the truth is that the quality of your work here is just not up to our standards here at Jones Day", which was nonsense, because, you know, I had had an annual review with him, not two months earlier, where he had told me verbatim, "You're a hard worker, and you do good work." Two months later, my work is not up to snuff. So it was ridiculous. It was just a cover for the fact that they had too many lawyers and not enough work, and the economy was not repairing. And so I had to go. So they gave me that notice, right in like October or November, which is the worst time to be looking for a job because it's the holidays. So nobody's thinking about hiring, everybody's thinking about trying to survive to the end of the year, and then getting to stop for a couple of weeks. So it put me in this, you know, in this awkward spot of trying to find a new job when no one was hiring. It not... let stand... I mean, on top of the fact that it was this terrible deep recession. So I ended up at the New York City Law Department, which is basically the city's law firm. They have lawyers who represent the city in various capacities, and I was hired to defend the city and civil rights lawsuits. So it was basically people who accused the police of using excessive force or corrections officers of using excessive force, they would sue the city and I would defend those lawsuits. And truthfully, they ran the gamut. There were some suits where we were wrong. The city was wrong. The cops had had misbehave, the corrections officers misbehaved. And we would look at that and say, "Yeah, we were wrong here." And we would settle, we would pay out. And there were some cases where, you know, people would come in, and the lawsuit would say... "so and so was standing on the corner of this street, and that street minding his own business, when the police grabbed him for no reason, threw him against the wall, handcuffed and slammed his head into the hood. The handcuffs were too tight. They drove him around for two hours before they even took him to the station." Say, "Oh, my god." and I would talk to the arresting officer and say, "What happened here?" They'd say, "The guy's drug dealer. He deals drugs on that corner. You know, we've arrested him dealing drugs in that exact corner. 12 different times." So sometimes we were right. Sometimes they were right. But the reason I had taken the job was because after the experience of doing corporate litigation at Jones Day, I wanted to try and find something that felt more meaningful. And when you're studying law, the cliche almost is that there's nothing more meaningful or socially beneficial than fighting for people's civil rights. So I say great, let me try and find a way into that world. You know, if I get a job on the defense side, then maybe I can pivot and to a job on the plaintiff side. Well, what turns out to be is that a civil rights plaintiff's attorney is pretty much like any other plaintiff's attorney, they have to keep the lights on, you know, somebody's got to pay for the suits and the haircuts and the office and the Secretary and the Mercedes and the apartment and the kids private school. And in order to do that, you have to represent some people who you would probably rather not represent. Some of them deal drugs. Some of them are career criminals. Some of them are innocent people who were attacked by the police. No question, right. Who were wrongfully hurt by the police, but some of them are not. And I just looked at that and was like, "Not a fit for me. You know, this is not going to be the long term solution here." So I moved on from that. And I moved, as I mentioned, graduated from UCLA law, and, you know, had wanted to go back to California. So I moved back to California, got a job with a small law firm. Thinking I've done a big law firm. I've done a public sector law firm. Let's try a small law firm. Well, I stayed there for two years and did not have a great experience. That's the short answer there. I was very bored. I wasn't crazy about the people I was working with. I was not crazy about the work that I was doing. It was just dull all around. And so I left there and finally was like, I want to try some different stuff. But I was applying for jobs. And by that point, I've been practicing for 6, 7 years. And when you're that far into a legal career, nobody wants to let you try new stuff. They want to hire you for the stuff that you know how to do. So it's the quote that I would always mention to you, I think from True Detective that first season when it's Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey chatting about being cops. I think it's Woody Harrelson says, "You got to be careful what you get good at." That was always like the quote over the door for me of my legal career was like, "Yeah, dude, you went down this road. And now this is what you know how to do when the US economy. So bully for you, you know, you can be a corporate litigator. And that's it."

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:43
The Howling of Pigeons, for sure.

Adam Bloom 16:45
That's right, the howling of pigeons. Yes. So I started my own legal practice as a way to say like, well, if no one will give me the opportunity to do what I want to do, then I will create it. So I started a practice where I did some corporate litigation, but I also did entertainment law, and I did start up law, was working with new startups and helping them raise money and onboard employees and, you know, form corporations, form LLCs. And, you know, that was okay, it was better. And I really liked the feeling of independence and being in control of my own destiny. And I enjoyed running my own business, but the legal practice was still legal practice. Now, the interesting thing was at the same time, a few years earlier, actually, when I was in New York, I'd started doing stand up, just as a creative outlet in my spare time. I'd always been interested in it and I just thought I'd give it a try. And, you know, it was the recession and I'd lost the job at Jones Day. And I was like, whatever. I'm at a point now where, you know, I'm willing to take some chances. Let's throw it around a little bit. So I started...

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:40
Let's do this.

Adam Bloom 17:41
Yeah, exactly. Like, literally, what is there to lose. I started doing open mics, and I loved it. I really enjoyed it. It was fun when I got laughs. It was fun when I did not get laughs. It was fun when there was three people in the audience. It was fun when there were 100 people in the audience. I just enjoyed it. And I met someone, in the course of doing that, who was also like, he had a career, he was doing open mics. And he and I were both interested in screenwriting, which was the other thing that I'd taken up. And so I moved to LA and he moved to LA. And we ended up starting a production company together that I ran alongside my legal practice for about five years. And we settled into a niche of making what we called horror content about technology. So we had videos that went viral on YouTube, we got an investment from Snap Inc, through their yellow startup accelerator program, which was a very sort of selective, prestigious program. We had some success there. And it was a lot of fun. And I learned a lot about digital content and filmmaking and running a startup and, you know, really having the experience of not just advising as an attorney, somebody else who's saying, "Look, I think I have an investor, can you help?" But being the guy who has to go out and find the investor, you know, negotiate that deal, get the documents closed, get the money in the door, and then figure out how to grow the company, which was all really fascinating. But you know, as I say, I ran that business for five years. And after five years, we'd had some success, but we hadn't really taken off in the way that I had hoped. So I decided it was time to move on and find what was next. So in terms of low points in my legal career, and trying to leave my legal career, I look at it as there were three sincere attempts that I made to get out of practicing law. It was like I was one of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, just trying to find the weak point in the fence. I think the first one was, let's see, in 2014, I left the small firm that I had joined when I moved to LA and before starting my own practice, I thought, you know, "maybe I could get out of law entirely." And I consulted a career coach who, you know, I had one session with and I told her I was interested in screenwriting and she flew into a very red faced rant about how the entertainment business was nasty and people are each other and stab each other in the back. And so whatever I do, I should make sure not to get into that business. And then she sent me on my way. And I was like, "Okay, thanks. I'll put that in a hopper and see what I can do about that."

Adam Bloom 17:41
Yeah, exactly. Super helpful. Thank you. Yeah. So that was that and, you know, but I looked at, could I get into advertising? Could I get into real estate? Could I get into, you know, just casting about for anything like, Please, could I just stop doing this lawyer nonsense and do anything else. And one of the things I ran into was, you know, I was in my mid 30s, and I've been practicing law for a few years. And so people would say, "Well, you're too senior to be junior because you're a lawyer, and you're, you know, older, but you don't have any experience in our industry. So you're too junior to be senior." So I was kind of betwixt in between, in a way where they were like, "we just kind of don't have a place for you, I'm sorry." And so I ended up settling on starting my own practice. So that was attempt number one, abortive attempt number one to get out passing law. Number two was when my startup production company, when we got the investment from snap, they really like put their arm around us and said, "We're very excited about your company, we love the content that you guys make, we're going to help you raise more money, like we're going to put you on a rocket ship and send you to the moon." So I was, like, "Great. Train is leaving the station. Finally, here we go." And what happened was, while we were in that program, the global market for digital media venture backed digital media just collapsed around us, it was almost like, you know, it was perfect. It was like the tribulations of job. As soon as we got the investment, there were a number of very high profile bankruptcies and closures that happened in digital media, there was a company called defy media that had raised 10s of millions of dollars, 70 million, I think from venture capitalists, and just one Friday, they just sent an email to all the employees and said, "The company is over. Please do not come in on Monday, we're done." And so people looked at that and said, "Okay, well, if they can't make it, then probably this idea of like putting 10s of millions of dollars into a content company that just makes content and expecting to get it back somehow, on the back end, it just doesn't work." And that was like there had been a five, six, maybe seven year trend of people making those kinds of investments. And it came to a precipitous halt, right at the moment that my partner and I were going out and saying, "Well, yeah, they didn't make it. But you should really take a look at what we make." And they were like, "Yeah, thanks. No."

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:10
I don't think I knew about that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:25
Track record of timing,

Adam Bloom 22:27
Timing. Yes. It has not escaped my attention. I think you and I have talked about it. But, you know, it felt... I mean, I didn't try to dwell on it too much, because it's a little self pitying. But, you know, I graduated law school into the great recession. And then I tried to raise money for a digital media startup, while the digital media market was going into a crater. You know, it was just like, well, what are you going to do? So... But yeah, when...

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:55
I think it's good, though. I think it's good. Because, honestly, I'm not sure that you would have made the type of transitions and this latest transition in the same way, had you not been through that.

Adam Bloom 23:08
That's right. And, you know, that's always the story of your life is like, you know, whatever happens to you for good or for ill, you have to learn from it and you have to integrate in a way and, you know, my mom always likes to say "things happen for a reason." And my thought is, "Yeah, but you have to find the reason." you know, what I mean? Like, you have to make that reason happen. You know, for example, when I got laid off from Jones Day, one of the things and when I sat down and was like, "Okay, how do I, you know, turn this into an opportunity was, well, without the pressure of feeling like I have a major, you know, Corporation looking over my shoulder, I can do whatever I want now. I'm gonna go do stand up." And that was a tremendous experience and something that I loved and, you know, an experience that I'll never forget, that I've gotten away from, but I actually hope to get back to. But, you know, it's things like that, where you have to be able to kind of alchemize those setbacks into new opportunities. And say, the fact that this did not work out has to create a new opportunity somewhere. But the timing issue is especially interesting, because I was really bound and determined that I wanted to be on time for something. And so to feel, you know, as I said, I had first approached the crypto space in 2017, 2018, and so to feel like that wave coming up underneath me in 2020 and 2021 I was like, I get it, you know, like I could be on time for this. I'm a little bit late, at least relative to, you know, people who created these technologies in the like, starting in 2010. But I said I think I'm still early enough that I could get in on this because by and large, most people, even most of my friends, like, I have a brother who's a software engineer and he barely understands anything about crypto, he's just not very interested in the space. He knows a little but he doesn't know what the way that I do. And when I would talk to him about it, he would kind of shrugged me off and be like, "I don't know." So I was like, wow, well, if, you know, if it's still taking this long to sink in, then I could be on time for this. There's an opportunity here to get in, maybe not on the ground floor but like on the first or the second floor, which is close enough, we'll take it. I just felt very keenly that as I studied the technology and learned about what under pinned all of it were, it's really... people look at it, and they're like, so which coin should I buy? How do I make money on this this week? And it's like, now you got to zoom out, pull back and understand, like, the point of this technology is not this coin or that coin, the point is that they are remaking from the ground up the architecture of the internet in a way that is going to make the entire internet world more open, more democratic, and more accessible and take a quantum leap, hopefully, towards the original vision of the internet, which was to create a digital space where any person could realize their potential to do whatever it is that you can come up with to do on the internet; to access information, to access business, to access education, to connect with other people, to learn ideas, to share ideas. I mean, if you want to live in Manhattan, you have to buy an apartment in Manhattan, right? You got to physically go. But short of that, there are so many things you can do on the internet that create opportunities for people that simply did not exist. And you can open a business in Oklahoma out of your garage and have customers all over the world. And it's not even a big deal.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:18
Or Moses Lake Washington and...

Adam Bloom 26:20
Moses Lake Washington, yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:21
All over the world.

Adam Bloom 26:22
Yeah. And you know, and to connect with them, and to do business with them, and to really take the next step forward in unlocking finance and business away from the sort of large intermediaries, like, the legacy banks who take fees, and you know, and credit card processors who insert themselves in the middle of your business deals and charge fees that they spend on CEO salaries and advertising expense accounts, and why do I have to pay for that? And you know, companies like Google and Facebook who say, "Yeah, we'll give you these products, if you give us all of your personal information. Like everything you've ever done." Well, what if I could get the product without having to give up all of my data? I mean, what if that was a thing? And that is really the promise of blockchain technology and cryptocurrency technology as I see it. And to me, that's fascinating, because I'm old enough to remember when the internet was born. And while I was playing basketball, and talking to my friends in high school on instant messenger, there were people who were literally remaking the world with this technology. And I just sort of let it go by. I wasn't interested in software engineering, I wasn't interested in web design. I didn't get it. I didn't see it. And it all happened sort of while I was focused on other things, because I was 18 or 20. But this time, I was like, I'm not... fool me once, right? Shame on you. Fool me twice, it's time to get on this. That was my attitude approaching the crypto space, was there's a lot of opportunity here and I'm going to find something for myself within this space. This is, I think, going to shape the next 20, 30 years and I want in and so what was interesting was through the process of working with you and working with Mo was really starting to zero in on, number one, this question of, "what do I want?" It's an incredibly vexing question. And I think I often think about the story that you told when we were working on or writing projects together about being an HR person, and having this experience of interviewing people and asking them, "Tell me something that you disliked that you don't want to repeat from your prior job." And they had a laundry list of 50 things that they did not want to happen again, and then saying, "Okay, now tell me something that you affirmatively positively do want from this job that will allow you to achieve your goals of taking this role." And people didn't have an answer. You know, by and large, they knew what they were running from, but they didn't know what they were running to. And I think that for me, there was some of that, it was very easy to wake up in the morning and saying, "I feel unhappy. I feel bored. I feel under compensated, underappreciated and uninterested in my work. I don't want to do this anymore." "Great. What do you want to do instead?" And I was not certain that I knew that answer. And so that is, at least for me, and I think, based on our conversations, you know, and what you've told me about your experience with other clients, I suspect that's the work for a lot of people is figuring out what do you actually want? What is your ideal life? And how does your professional work fit into that? And what does that look like everything from, you know, do you want to work from home? Or do you want to work in an office to what profession, what sector the economy? You know, do you want your own business? Do you want to work for a company? If so, what kind? You know, what size? Nailing down all those things and going through, you know, the puzzle method and then doing the career experiments to say like, "Alright, well, I like writing. Let's try writing. You know, what writing gigs can I get? I like writing. I like creativity. I like producing videos, could I do that for an ad agency?" And you know, I approached that a little bit. I was just sort of throwing it around and seeing what felt good and where people responded to me and where I could find a connection. One of the tools that I took advantage of that, you know, I think you often refer people to was that Gallup StrengthFinder test, which was a very interesting sort of experience. Because, you know, what I took from that was, number one, they said a lot of things that I think I believe to be true where they're like, "You enjoy ideas, you enjoy sort of high level creativity and strategy and writing." And I was like, "Sure, yes." You know, and... but they put... there were a couple of things. They put the word strategist around it, they put the word futurist around it, you know, I was teasing my girlfriend, I was like, "I took this test and they say, I'm a futurist. Lucky you. You know, you're dating a futurist." So I started like, Googling around where I was like, well, that sounds cool. What does a futurist do? It turns out most of the people who are, you know, futurist, like qua futurist where that is their whole title, they basically write books about what they think is going to happen in the next 30 years. Which is okay, but didn't 100% feel like exactly what I wanted to do. But it did get me focused on the fact that I do have an interest in technology, and that I do have an interest in trying to predict trends and see where things are going. And so again, when crypto bubbled up, it kind of checked that box where I was like, "I can see this, this is a high tech futuristic kind of thing that is happening right now that I could conceivably get in on." And so it did help focus me on that opportunity. And also the fact that they had called me out and said like, "You're a strategist." So just when I was looking around, like even searching on LinkedIn, or searching on Google and saying, who's hiring for what, I started throwing the word strategist into my searches, and it opened up, before I've been saying copywriter. I'm writer, I'm a copywriter, what do you need for copywriting? And so I was seeing a list of opportunities for those kinds of roles. But then when I threw strategist into it, I started seeing other roles, and that was very interesting. And the other thing I'll say, that came out of the StrengthsFinder test that I was not expecting was they have a whole section on your weaknesses. And one of the weaknesses that they highlighted for me was, "You don't place a particular emphasis on forming personal relationships or forming relationships at work." And I was like, "how dare you?" You know, but then I thought about it. And I was like, "Look, I've been a lawyer for 12 years, I haven't liked being a lawyer. Most of the people who I met at work were other lawyers. So naturally, I was not terribly excited about going out for drinks with them after work and talking about all the boring crap that we had worked on all day." So yeah, I had I realized neglected that part of just my personal development, my professional development. And I started placing a lot of emphasis, a lot of emphasis on just talking to people, just doing the thing of reaching out to people on LinkedIn, reaching out to people however I could, "Hey, what you're doing seems interesting. Can we chat for 15 minutes?" You know, people who wrote for video game companies. People who, you know, I found a job listing for a position that was called Content Strategist. And I read that and it was like, facepalm, you know, I couldn't believe it. I was like, "Yes, that's an exact description of what I should be doing. I can't believe I didn't think of that." So I applied for that job and ended up not getting it. But I reached out to the guy who ran the company, and he and I ended up chatting. And, you know, there were a lot of things like that. There was just a lot of like, connecting, activating the network, who do I know? Who do they know? What can I talk to them about? Just anything to try and build connections, and it would spark ideas. You know, eventually, what I came to was I wanted to start a company that I pitched for a few months called backer, which was a marketplace to crowdfund movies using NFT's, which is a lot of businessy cryptocurrency jargon, and I won't give the whole pitch. But basically, it was like a version of Kickstarter where you paid with cryptocurrency. And what you got was an NFT, which is a unique sort of digital receipt, a token that proves your ownership of really anything. And in this case, it was going to be a unique piece of artwork that represented an ownership share of a movie. And so I worked on that pitch for a few months and connected with a lot of new people and got a lot of interest in it. But two things became clear, number one, was that it was going to take me a while to get funded. I thought I could do it quick because crypto was very hot. But in May the crypto market collapsed and, you know, sort of had been growing very quickly and took a breath, you could say charitably. So at that point, it was like the energy, the frenetic energy that had been in that space left. And so I was like, "Okay, well, I still believe in this, but it's going to be a longer road. It's going to take more time. There's not the overabundance of hype and enthusiasm that there was before the crash."

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:26
Adam, tell me about what you get to do now.

Adam Bloom 34:29
Yeah, sure. So what I eventually came to was, I'd been trying to do backer for a few months, and it was coming along, but it was moving slower than I wanted. And I said, "I really want to find something that can start getting me and come now." And so I started looking for opportunities, like, I was just going to LinkedIn and running searches that said "blockchain strategist" and I surfaced a job listing with Coinbase that was hiring content strategists. And so I very simply just submitted my resume and two days later got an email from an HR person at the company and went through a recruitment process and got an offer and accepted and joined the company. And so what I'm doing now is I'm creating both writing content, potentially doing content and other media as well, that we're considering and sort of developing an overall strategy for the content for Coinbase, which is a cryptocurrency exchange, if people don't know, it's a place where you can buy and sell cryptocurrencies. That recently had an IPO. So they're the first crypto exchange to go public, definitely in the US, and I believe in the world. And so beyond the exchange platform, that was their sort of first big product, they're expanding into a lot of new things. And so there's a lot of messaging and content work to do around, number one, continuing to bring people into the crypto space in terms of just allowing them to understand, what is a cryptocurrency? What is a blockchain? How do you invest in this? Why would you want to? How does this all work? And what does it mean? And why should you care about it? But then number two, to start thinking, sort of in a forward looking way about, what are the things that the company is going to do next? And how do we communicate with people about those? And so there are a lot of different opportunities in terms of consumer facing content that we can create, that I'm helping sort of strategize and create. And so it's everything from, you know, help pages to other kinds of media that we're looking at, to put out, to just kind of explain to people what this technology is and how it works. I mean, I gave you the basic high level pitch about, you know, what they call web 3.0, that it's a whole new internet.

Scott Anthony Barlow 36:38
How does this tick the boxes or many more of those boxes for you in terms of what you wanted? Because we got to talk all the way through, like way back when you were lawyering it up during the early stages of your career, and that was not ticking very many boxes, in so many different ways. And then for each progression, and even though you felt like you missed out on different sets of timing, there were so many learnings from that, that allowed you to be able to realize pieces of what you didn't need. So how does this next evolution of that tick many more of those boxes?

Adam Bloom 37:13
Yeah, I think that, number one, I wanted to be engaged with subject matter that I felt like was interesting and exciting and fascinating and forward looking. I had never been able to do that as an attorney, it always sort of devolved into the same kind of arguments about nothing. You know, I used to say it was like the monopoly man versus Mr. Burns, and who really cares who wins, you know. This rich guy, or that rich guy. Frankly, the great innovation of corporate litigation is the best alternative to physical violence. You know, in the Middle Ages, it was like, if two rich people got in a fight, they just went and got all their serfs, and said, "Put down here your crappy plows and stop raking your dirt. I need you to go fight a war for me." Well, so what we do instead of that now was we have lawsuits. And that's great. But I don't know if it's where I need to spend my life. It feels like I'm contributing to something that is meaningful, and interesting, and fascinating, and innovative. And frankly, I mean, my jaw is just constantly on the floor, hearing some of these kids who are like half my age who were talking about quadratic voting, and talking about, you know, consensus mechanisms, and are just going at 100 miles an hour spinning up ideas for how to organize businesses, how to democratize the flow of money around the world, how to open up opportunities for artists to connect with their audiences without having to go through the sausage grinder of intermediaries, like, studios and record labels. It's fascinating, and the possibilities are literally infinite. You know, I'm just astounded by the amount of sheer intellect that is in this space. And frankly, you know, I used to joke that, like that poem, how, you know, I saw the best minds of my generation wasted something, something, I always used to think I saw the best minds of my generation making exercise app, like, "what are you all doing?" you know, it is just what they call web 2.0, this sort of App Store and Facebook and Google, it was like, at a certain point, this stuff has ceased to feel revolutionary, it has ceased to feel like it's moving us forward. And it has just become a cash grab for big corporations. And so it is very exciting to feel like there are real ideas here. I mean, ideas that I admit humbly are beyond me to come up with. I'm just excited to engage with them and to be a part of what is going on in this space. Because I really think it at least has the potential to reshape so much of the economy and especially the internet in the next 20, 30 years. So it's creative. I like the people I'm working with. And for the first time, I feel like I have people who are saying to me, you know, when I was a lawyer, it was like, you know, "You're doing a good job at this and this, but we really need to tone it down. It's too many jokes, it's too much talking, you're talking too much." I mean, I've had a litany like a murderer's row of partners at law firms tell me, "When we're in a meeting with a client, you got to stop talking so much. You know, I'm the partner." So it's like, "I get it, but I know this stuff better than you and what you're telling them is wrong." So you know, it's nice to finally be in a place where I feel like, and this is one of the things that I think you and I talked a lot about, just sort of as a career goal is where you feel like you can bring your entire self to it. You know, like, when I was doing creative stuff as a lawyer, I felt like I had to hide it. That god forbid, anyone at my firm should know that I do stand up. You know now, it's like, I have a podcast, and they're happy about it at Coinbase. They're like, "Great, you know, don't share any confidential information. And, you know, don't get us in a fight with anybody. But other than that, go have fun."

Scott Anthony Barlow 40:50
So let me ask you about that really quick here. Because I think that that is important. You and I got into some really deep discussions through some of the projects that we're working on about how, even though you might get to what you want, even though it can be wonderful, you can still feel a variety of different things. And I know that you experienced variety of different feelings, even though you were getting some of what you want, as you were experimenting in different areas, too, along the way, even before this opportunity. And I'm curious, so first question is, what does that feel like now that you can bring so much more yourself to work that you couldn't before? And then two, what has been wonderful about that, or hard about that?

Adam Bloom 41:31
Yeah, I'd say what has been wonderful about it is it really felt like going into my legal career. I felt it at the time, I felt it during the 12 years that I was trapped in it. And I feel it looking back is that I just missed my turn, you know what I mean? I just missed an exit, like, I should not have been in there. And I just couldn't get out of it. And so to be working now for a technology company and doing work that is creative, and collaborative, and really forward looking feels like what I should have been doing in the first place. I learned a lot as a lawyer, I met a lot of people, I had a lot of wonderful experiences. It's not like it was, you know, I wouldn't say it was a waste of time. But I would say it was not the best use of, you know, my efforts, like it just did not feel like what I needed to be doing with myself. And so it feels like yeah, "This is it. This is definitely, finally, the track that I should have been on in the first place." What's hard about it ism honestly, there is part of me that is like, gee, it's like I'm the dog coming out of the shelter that is waiting to get kicked. Where I'm like, "You guys really liked me, you know, like, you really are okay with me, it's really..." I just keep waiting for like the bad thing to happen. You know what I mean? Like, for a few days before I started at Coinbase, I had trouble sleeping, because I was like, you know, there's something going to happen here, you know, something is going to go wrong here, like, and just waiting to find out that similar to every law firm I ever worked for that it was all smiles and handshakes and backslaps. And then as soon as you got in the door, it was some sort of waking nightmare. And I was sort of waiting for that to happen. And it didn't. And so it took me a few days to accept, like, yeah, this could actually be a good place, this could actually be somewhere where I want to get up and go every day, you know, at least metaphorically, because we work remotely but still. And so I think there was a little bit of an adjustment that I'm probably still settling into of, number one, like you don't have to pretend to be... because lawyers, I think, in large part, get off on behaving like lawyers, you wear the suit, you stand up straight, you speak a certain way, you act a certain way, you know, you comb your hair a certain way, everybody's there because they want to be a lawyer, and even the ones who aren't there are faking it, because god forbid, they get caught out, you know, like being a weirdo. You know, it's different to be in a place where I don't have to do any of that. And then to understand like, okay, so this is a different dynamic, how do I fit into it in a way that feels honest, and so to speak true to who I am, but at the same time is like accommodating to my teammates? I mean, how do you do this in a way that is appropriate for this industry and for this company? Because it's, you know, it's a different rhythm. And it's a different environment than a law firm or, you know, a legal practice or anything like that. So there's an adjustment there. And I just tried to be very mindful of like, the etiquette and what's appropriate, and where I'm allowed to make a joke and where I really shouldn't. So yeah, that's the ongoing adjustment, but it's not, you know, catastrophic. It's just something that I need to be mindful of that like, yeah, "you can be yourself but you know, you need to get stuff done. And you need to make sure that you're making everybody else feel comfortable around you that you're not stepping on toes" so to speak. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:36
When we started working with you just under a year ago, I guess looking back on that, a lot has happened for you. You've done a really really nice job of making a lot happen for yourself. So first of all, just wanted to say that because that... I know I've told you that before but is so true, and I just feel very compelled to say that, make sure that you know that again. And then my question, even with all that, I know this was far... this transition was the furthest thing from easy for you. It was not that easy at all. So I'm curious about what were some of the hardest parts for this most recent transition for you?

Adam Bloom 45:15
Yeah. So there are two that I would highlight: number one was, well, before we started recording, we were chatting a little bit. You mentioned I'd had a job with a startup here in LA that they hired me to write content about, sort of, certain legal subject matter. And they offered me a full time job. And it was the first job that I had been offered to do anything other than be a lawyer since I worked on the presidential campaign in 2004. So like, 16 years, 17 years, you know, I got the offer. And it was funny, because my girlfriend and I had taken a weekend and just gotten a hotel room in LA, so that we had a sort of little staycation and we knew the offer was coming. So like, there was a bathtub in the room. So we had a bubble bath, and we had a bottle of champagne. And I got the offer. And I looked at the offer. And she looked at me and I was like, "This is not good." I was like, "This doesn't work." So like that was... it was a very sort of funny scene. But yeah, as you know, I mean, as you and I discussed a lot at the time, I talked to them about it and was like, "Listen, this isn't quite what I was hoping for, can we talk about this?" And ultimately, we were not able to come to an agreement, and I turned it down. And so at the time, it felt like, wow, I was obviously had some regret around that, and was that the right decision? And you know, was that a mistake? And what am I going to do now? But I think you and I talked about it. And you said very often that you find that with people who change careers successfully, somewhere along the line, they'll get a job, but turn it down because they realize it's good, but it's not ideal. And so to be honest, upon reflection, I felt sort of empowered that, like, somebody could offer me a job, not as a lawyer. And rather than have this desperate, frenzied attitude that you always had as a lawyer, especially during the recession of, "you need a job, there's a law firm offering you a job, just take the job, they'll give you money, you know, like don't interrogate it, don't go asking them for this or that. Just say yes, and move on. Sit at the desk, do the work, take the money, go home, try not to get fired." So to be able to actually come to a situation and say like, "Yeah, this is good, but it's not great. I really appreciate it, guys. But I don't think this is for me. Thanks, anyway." that in and of itself was kind of empowering. And obviously, you know, a few months later, I ended up with this offer from Coinbase, that as I've told you is just a much better fit all the way around, I didn't have to do anything related to law, which was a huge relief. I got to work on something that was much more interesting. And it was just, you know, it's a better established company. And I think all the way around was just a better fit for me. So the turning down the job offer was the first challenge I would highlight. The second one was I spent a few months trying to, as I mentioned, raise money for this startup. It was taking longer than I thought, I was living off of my savings. And I looked at my bank account, and I did a little back of the envelope math and realized that I was going to be out of money pretty soon. And so I had to start looking for something that would make money right away. And I had been applying for some part time copywriting gigs, but just wasn't landing anything, which can happen, copywriting is like that. So I actually started emailing recruiters and former legal clients and saying, you know, "I'm back open for business. If you need legal help, I'm lawyering again. I can help you." And I had some people give me a couple of assignments. So I was right back on the precipice of going back to practicing law just by pure economic necessity. And I was like, "Here we go again, man, third try and just can't get the escape velocity to get out of the atmosphere of practicing law." like I was right on the edge of the cliff, and I submitted this resume to Coinbase, at the same time that I was emailing and talking to legal recruiters and legal clients, just to try and get some work just to make some money because I needed income. And right as I thought, you know, I failed again, this will be the third time that I've tried to escape from my legal career, and it's not going to work out, again, I got the job from Coinbase, it was just that close. But that was yeah, really scary moment where I thought, "oh my god," you know, because that was always the fear was that, you know, I had gotten myself into this hole, and I was never going to be able to get out. And you know, my father had been an attorney. And I'd watched him his whole life, just sort of with the attitude that law was not quite a fit for him, but he had no choice and he was stuck in it. And he was never happy about it. And I was bound and determined that that was not going to happen to me, but it was starting to get very scary. You know, like, "my god, am I going to be able to get out of this?" And then I did. You know, and the thing that I would highlight is, I didn't know that I was going to get that job. I didn't have a personal connection at Coinbase. I was just, you know, for all the bad timing that I've had that we've talked about, yhat was just astonishingly good timing. Coinbase was on a hiring sprint, the whole economy was coming out of the pandemic, there had been this massive reshuffling of people switching jobs, lose jobs, leaving jobs. So everyone or many people were hiring for a lot of things. And in the blockchain, crypto industry, there was a huge need for people who understood both crypto and content. And, you know, I had a screening interview with the HR person. And then I had the first interview with Eleanor, my supervisor, and five minutes into the interview, she called me a unicorn. She said, "The fact that you know crypto and you know content..." she said, "You're a unicorn." And I was like, well, that's a good sign. You don't ordinarily call someone a unicorn, and then tell them that you're not gonna make them an offer. You know, right away, it was just came together. And it was, if you... I mean, I've looked back at the form that I filled out for you and for Mo when I started the career change process, and they said, "What do you want to do?" I said, "I want to be a TV writer." That's where this started. And so you know, I was not like, "I want to be a cryptocurrency content strategist", not one of those words was anywhere in my mind as a career option when I started this process, it really was, like, you know, requires a sort of, I would say, radical open mindedness, you just have to accept the fact that you don't necessarily know where this is going to go or how it's going to get there. And you know, like the Animaniacs theme song, you have to expect the unexpected, just lean into it, just let it wash over you. Because it's an adventure. And you know, it has ups and it has downs and setbacks. But if you just keep going, just stick with it and keep going, you will get there. And that was why I got here.

Scott Anthony Barlow 51:27
What I think is so interesting out of... do you remember, and just a little bit other context, we have a really amazing piece of content that Adam helped us write and put together and it took several months, we call it fondly our career changer guide. However, we had half the team up to Moses Lake Washington, and I remember being a phone call with you, because we're working on a section of this guide, right? And I remember you saying, "Look, I'm working on the section and it doesn't make sense." And it turns out that, you know, we ended up calling this section, you know, what happens when you experience setback. And so it's all about overcoming setbacks and adjusting your plan. And I remember having the conversation with you where we're talking about, you know, the strange thing that happens over and over and over and over again, almost like clockwork, is just when people are ready to throw in the towel, that means that they're so close. And strangely enough, even though you wrote about this, like you experienced the exact same thing, where you're like, you know, on the precipice, as you called it, ready to go back to law, and like, this might just not work for me. And then that's where the opportunity was actually on the horizon. And that's what we see something like that in various different ways, every single time. So just want to ask your thoughts on that, because you and I hadn't talked about that exact thing. But it's, even though you're in it, you knew about it, you helped us write about this thing. It still happened.

Adam Bloom 53:00
You know, I think that it reminds me of the the Mark Twain quote, and I'm paraphrasing, but "it's much easier to give advice than it is to take it", the reality is that, you know, to understand that you're going to go through a journey, and it's going to have ups and downs does not release you from the obligation to go through those ups and downs. And it was very interesting for me, especially writing that career change guide, because I thought of it in the framework of a screenplay and just a basic sort of narrative arc, where you do have what they call the "all is lost" moment. Where it's like, I can't go backwards. But I don't see a way to go forwards. And I'm just stuck here. And in movies, this is often where like characters will sort of contemplate just dying, where it's like, "I can't take it anymore, can this just be over?" So you know, that was what I always thought about was just that moment of coming to the point where you absolutely don't see a way to go home, but you don't see a way to reach your destination. And knowing that that can happen, as I say, doesn't release you from the obligation to go through it. You just have to accept like, yeah, that's not going to be a fun moment. But you're going to have to go through it. And I think that especially one thing that I learned running my startup, the production company, was we had so many challenges as all startups do. And I would get frustrated, I would get upset, and I would, you know, lose sleep in whatever I did, but it came down to one question which was "Okay, well, do you want to quit or do you want to keep going?" And that fundamentally is the choice. Now, even when I was calling up former legal clients and legal recruiters and saying, you know, tail between my legs, I need some legal work. I was still doing the work, reaching out to people, submitting resumes, you know, moving my feet, just like keep moving forward. You're a hockey player. So you'll appreciate this. I played a little hockey when I was 14, and I was not built for it. I was, like, as I am now, very tall, very skinny, better suited to basketball but I wanted to play hockey. And I remember we did this exercise that was supposed to be training for what it feels like to get body checked where they lined everybody up next to the boards and then they had you skate past the row of like 20 or 30 kids and everybody just got to check you, you know. And the only piece of advice they gave you was just keep your feet moving. That was it. And they just sent you and they called it the gauntlet and they just sent you down the road and kid after kid just like slammed you into the boards, and, you know, two thirds, three quarters of them were bigger than I was. And I was just getting worked. And I was like falling down off my feet. And they're like, pushing you down. It was, you know, I remember that. I mean, 30 years, 25 years later, that was a rough exercise. But that's like, you know, at some point, that's the advice is like, just keep moving your feet, there is no way to go through this that will allow you to do it without getting hit, you're going to get hit, you just have to keep moving your feet. And it's like the same thing I say, you know, I have a son, Ezra, who's about to turn seven. And you know, when I would chat with other parents when, especially when he was younger, and he was just starting to run around and go on the playground and stuff, and we were talking about like, "Well, what do you do when they fall? What do you do if they're going to hurt themselves?" And I would say, you know, "You can't teach them not to fall. You can only teach them how to fall." And that, you can read as much or as little into that as you want, but that's my adorable metaphor. It's like, look, the bad things are going to happen. But if you can just get up and keep going, you will get where you're going. But you, you know, it's on you. Like, the choice fundamentally every time is, do you want to quit? Or do you want to keep going?" and it's your choice, and you have to own it. If you give up, that's a valid choice. You can give up. It's hard. It's completely valid to say, "This is not for me, I give up. I'm just going to go back." But that's your choice. Otherwise, you have to absorb the fact that like, yeah, there were difficult moments, there were confusing moments and frustrating moments and very scary moments where the bank account is going down, and there's no money coming in. And I'm not figuring out the career change. And I don't even know necessarily what I'm looking for. And I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. But I just decided to keep going. It's just that simple. Yeah, that's what I take from it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 56:49
That is amazing. I so appreciate you taking the time, and coming on and sharing your story. And I've told you this several times over along the way as you and I have gotten to have chats, but I just... this is super fun for me. I've been looking forward to this conversation for the podcast for a long time for your story. And I'm so glad that we get to have it.

Adam Bloom 57:12
Thanks, great work. Well, I have the unfair advantage that you and I have spent many hours talking through this stuff for our writing projects. So I've done like probably seven or eight dry runs, we could release, you know, an album of, you know, eight hours of our conversations about career change.

Scott Anthony Barlow 57:28
Oh my goodness, yeah.

Adam Bloom 57:29
Listen, I'm happy to do it. I'm very grateful for the help. And you know, it's been a pleasure to get to know you and to, you know, to have the opportunity to, sort of, become a part of your business and your life. I love what you guys do. It's made a tremendous difference in my life. And I was happy to contribute what I could to the content that we made together. And yeah, man, I mean, I'm just looking forward to keeping in touch. So I'm happy to do this. I hope it was helpful to people. And I think it's going to be a very exciting next few years for both of us. So I'm looking forward to it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 58:02
Hey, many of the stories that you've heard on the podcast are from listeners that have decided that they wanted to take action and taking the first step of having a conversation with our team to try and figure out how we can help. And if you want to implement what you have heard, and you want to completely change your life and your career, then let's figure out how we can help. So here's what I would suggest, just open your phone right now and open your email app. And I'm going to give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com, just email me and put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And then when you do that, I'll introduce you to the right person on our team. And you can have a conversation with us, we'll try and understand your goals and what you want to accomplish in your career no matter where you're at. And we can figure out the very best way that we can help you and your situation. So open up right now and send me an email with 'Conversation' in the subject line scott@happentoyourcareer.com.

Andy Molinsky 59:15
This point my career I'm a professor, I teach for parts of the year students, undergraduates and graduate students, MBA students. I increasingly, over the past five to seven years, have started to do a lot of consulting and executive education and keynote speaking. I also do a lot of writing, a lot of non academic writing. I do some academic writing, but I do a lot now of non academic writing. In other words, writing for general audiences. I write for Inc.com, Psychology Today, Harvard Business Review, LinkedIn, and then I, you know, I've written a couple of books. I picked my kid at school a lot. So I suppose I have a part time bus driving job.

Scott Anthony Barlow 59:58
In my conversation with Andy, get to learn the five psychological roadblocks that keep you in your comfort zone and stunt your experiential growth. This is super, super cool. And then how to distinguish between which of your goals are worth following through the discomfort because there's always discomfort in some capacity anytime it's associated with things that you want in your life. And then what are the steps to take to get out of your comfort zone to be able to actually achieve those goals? Because as it turns out, none of the rest of it matters unless you can act upon it. So you know that we like to get you outside your comfort zone here, and turns out, well, Andy Molinsky is a great source of how to do that, he wrote a book and I loved his new book, actually, it's called "Reach: A New Strategy to Help You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Rise to the Challenge, and Build Confidence". All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

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Free Up 30 Hours A Month To Focus On Your Priorities: The Magic of Automation

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It takes a large amount of time to do a career pivot – and even more time to make the bigger changes that we discuss often on this podcast. Even though you end up with a role that fits you and delivers what you really want in your life, it can be difficult to find the time to make it happen. But you’ll never “find” enough time – you have to create the time.

HTYC’s own Scott Barlow and Phillip Migyanko discuss specific tactics that you can use to create 30+ hours a month to focus on your highest priorities

what you’ll learn

  • How to set up your environment to save you time
  • Removing time for things that need to be done (but aren’t adding value to your life)
  • Tips on effectively prepping your meals to save you time (and give you healthy options)
  • Adding back time that is being taken away in the form of obstacles or distractions
  • How you can have a manicured lawn without ever mowing (only half-joking!)
  • Creating systems for things that we do all the time
  • The importance of time limiting during your career change

Success Stories

when I went through Career Change Bootcamp and starting to work through all of this – deep diving into what I wanted to do, my strengths and ideal career profile but then this opportunity presented itself! I went “wow, this checks almost all my boxes on the ideal career profile and seems to be a really great match.” You've heard this so many times from people you talk with – The journey is not what you think it's gonna be. You think it might be a straight line from A to B, but it's like a jagged curvy line that can go all over the place. Follow where things are leading and be open, because you just never know what's gonna be around that next corner. I'm so excited. I am the chief philanthropy officer at the Community Foundation of Western Nevada. And that's really kind of a dream job.

Karen Senger, Chief Philanthropy Officer, United States/Canada

"When I started I was afraid of making the wrong decision! My career was incredibly important to me and I didn't want to screw it up or waste time making a move I wouldn't enjoy! Scott helped me learn what my strengths are and what is most important to me… but more important than that I learned about what I can't stop doing that I have to have in my work to make me happy"

Rhushi Bhadkamkar, Senior Consultant, United States/Canada

I have worked my entire career in behemoth companies (Hershey, Kraft, Pepsi), but I never felt like my creativity could really be stretched. I was often told I have great ideas but there was no way they would happen. So I found myself really discouraged and wanting a more challenging, creative career. And to top it off, I’m making almost $40,000 more a year. I certainly don’t expect that kind of increase every time I make a career move, but I knew my skill value and what I bring to the table. I held my own and negotiated. Now my salary is on par with my male colleagues.

Julie Laughter , Senior Manager, Sustainability

Phillip Migyanko 00:01
Where all this comes down to is the intentionality of things. So there are times where we've got the same thing. We have things that go in certain places. I've got meal prep time. But I think one of the biggest things that we do, really, for our clients that are going through this actual career change is what we're thinking about is, how much time are they actually spending reaching out?

Introduction 00:23
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:47
One of the biggest things that we hear again, and again, and again, as we have conversations with people all over the world, not just here in the US, but every place across the globe, is the issue of time. Time, because it takes a large amount of time to do just a normal career pivot, normal career change, let alone for the types of career changes that we've discussed on this podcast again, and again, and again, where you're really maximizing for what you want out of life, what you want out of your career, and want to be able to, you know, grow and show up in the ways that you want to, that's a different type of career change. And as it turns out, that also has a tendency to take more time. And the reason this becomes a question is because, where are you going to get all this time? Where is that going to come from? And that is... that's real, it's a real challenge. So we thought, well, hey, this is something we are helping people reconcile with every single day. So why not do a podcast episode about it? We do this for ourselves, when I say ourselves, I'm talking about our entire team. And we also do this for our clients across the globe. So I have with me today, our Director of Client Success, Phillip Migyanko. You've heard him on the podcast many times before, but he's back today to discuss, how do you not save time, although we're gonna talk about that too. But how do you even create time in some ways for yourself to be able to divert towards career change, or anything else that might be even more important in your life too. Phillip, welcome back to Happen To Your Career.

Phillip Migyanko 02:23
Nice to be here, Scott, and super excited to be diving into it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:26
One of the things that we're going to do here, our goal is to talk about enough different items that collectively, if you applied them all, you don't have to apply them all, even if you do get just one thing from this episode. But collectively, we're going to give you enough different items where potentially if you did apply them all, you could save 30 plus hours per month that you can then divert to focus on your priorities, your priorities, being family, friends, priorities being career change, which is certainly what we've had most of our questions on. But that is our goal today. So no small task, right? It's definitely not an easy thing to do, but well worth it. So I'm realizing there's a lot of people that could probably benefit from this in multiple ways. We're going to talk about some of the things that we've personally done in the past to save large amounts of time. And then we're also going to talk about, specifically, and Phillip, I think you have some of these ideas already. We're chatting about this yesterday, long before we hit the record button about some of the best ways that we've helped our clients save time as they're going through their career change, too. So yeah.

Phillip Migyanko 03:30
You know, it's such a big thing, because I think you're right, Scott. One of the biggest things that we talk to people about when we begin working with them, or even before that process is essentially how do you save time, because we all know that this career change process essentially takes takes time to do and it's not, like, there's going to be magically, like, 30 hours gonna, like, come to your front door, like an Amazon box. It's more like we got to find those in places. And usually that comes to about, you know, saying no to some things, or one of the biggest things is I think it's setting up your environment to save time. And one of the things I always recommend for my first time clients is reading a wonderful book called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear because he talks about really setting up your environment to do so. But you know, for example, I've got a client who I'm working with right now, and we'll call her "Leah", and right now she takes her coaching calls in her bedroom, where her desk also happens to be. So we're doing our coaching calls, she's sitting at her desk, I can see her bed right behind her. And what we found after working together, after months and months is that, really, she's just thinking about work all the time because when she goes to bed, her beds right there, when she gets up, her desk is right there and it's all because it's physically in the same room. So she would be getting up at 6:30am getting right to her desk and start working. Then, like, working, taking some breaks here or there and really not stop working till 9 or 10pm. And obviously, this meant that she was just not giving herself a break and really never disconnecting. And I don't know about you but I've talked to a lot of people like that, especially during times where a lot more people are working remotely. And more and more people are and very much that it lengthened out her process in getting things done. Because from a mental bandwidth standpoint, she was just focusing on work all the time. So we, for me and Leah, we stopped, we looked, we're like, "Okay, how can we figure out how to basically set up your environment, so you're not thinking about work all the time?" Now, she lived in one bedroom apartment, it's not like we can move the desks to another spot, and it'd be a good fix for her. So instead, we literally took her physical laptop every single day. And at 6pm, which is the time that we agreed on that work with stop, we had calendar reminder, we had like her master schedule, we had things that were set up in her life where she knew 6pm was the time that she was stopping, including having conversations with her boss and all of her co workers and setting up her work to do so. But she would take her laptop, physically put it underneath her TV, that was also the spot that we agreed on that it would be out of sight, out of mind and put it there. And what we found over time is that it not only actually saved her, really, time, but that mental bandwidth that I was talking about earlier, and this also translates into getting things done faster. But what can happen for a lot of folks is we accidentally or unintentionally set up our environment that doesn't help us really save those big pieces of time. And ultimately, it makes us take so much longer than it needs to in the whole career change process. And that's what we really found working together. I know you found the same thing, Scott, when, like, setting up your environment, or really those time saving aspects.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:42
Yeah, I was thinking about it. We, my wife and I, and ourselves as a family, we spent a lot of effort and energy trying to set up our environment in a way that really allows us to accomplish what we want to or to spend time in the way we want to. So I love that you're calling this out as an entire category to itself. And so I mean, we do, I'll give you just two really super quick examples of ways that we do that. You know, one way is, this is gonna sound ridiculous, but we have a lot of hockey gear. I'll say that.

Phillip Migyanko 07:12
Oh, yeah, I've seen it. There's a ton of hockey gear.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:14
Yeah. So when we have the team up here last time, Phillip, you and Kathy went and played hockey with us, we're kind of...

Phillip Migyanko 07:20
It was flat on my face, guys. It was flat on my face.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:23
So we're pretty big ice hockey family, let's be honest. And so therefore we have a lot of gear, like, we just have tons of it and it would entirely take over our garage. But more importantly than that, like, there's time associated with every time we're, like, in the car, out of the car, all the things. Plus, hockey gear smells terrible. It smells terrible. So what this meant is that, you know, when my son started playing hockey early on, is that everything was just devoted to, like, the shifting around of hockey gear. And at some point very quickly, it became a thing. And it's like, oh, my goodness, why are we spending the time like moving the hockey gear from one place to the next is just terrible. So what we did, is we actually set up drying racks in the garage that work with everything else. And then in the summer, when there's less hockey gear around those drying racks shifts to lifejacket racks, they're basically sitting there for us to use the paddle boards that we have also stored in the garage. So taking a little bit of time to... and we literally custom built some stuff in there that allowed us to put the bags on the rack, everything to dry, and it just ended up saving us small amounts of time, like less than five minutes per day. But over the years, that adds up that five minutes, then you know, turns into an hour over the course of roughly a little more than a week. And then that hour turns into many hours. So just... we have no desire to spend time and effort putting away hockey gear and just moving it around.

Phillip Migyanko 08:49
That's a good point too. Because I mean, you're like removing a lot of those things that don't need to be done and really aren't adding things to your life overall. And I think that's a really interesting concept. Because, you know, we always think about adding time, but it's really about removing those things, too.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:03
Yeah. And that's a great point. And that really is the next category on its own, too. So we've got five categories we're going to give you today. Phillip, you mentioned the first one, which is setting up your environment to be able to save time. And then the second one is, what you said, removing time for things that maybe need to be done, but just, you know, aren't the actual tasks or whatever, are not adding that much value to your life, like putting away hockey gear, like I just think it's necessary, but I just don't really care to spend my time that way. So the third category is adding back time that's being taken away in the form of obstacles or distractions. The fourth category is adding systems to things that you might do all the time and the fifth category, it's a bonus category. And we're going to give you some ways where as you're making your career change, you can actually save time during the career change itself. So we'll give you examples on all of these but the next one that you mentioned, where we're talking about removing time for things that need to be done but maybe aren't adding damage value to your life from doing the task itself. So a couple quick examples. And I know Phillip, you have a bunch of these too. We were chatting about these yesterday and I bet we have more that we don't even know about. Like, we wanted to have this conversation yesterday but didn't have time for the whole recording. So one example is lawn mowing for me. I mowed the lawn as a kid. I had the makings of a lawn mowing business way back when. I do not care to mow another lawn if I don't have to in my entire rest of my life. However, you know, the homeowners association that we live in freaks out if our lawn is a foot long, so it must be done. And, you know, what we... At first, we thought, "Well, okay, how are we going to do this?" Because most lawn services charge like 60 to 80 bucks for the size and type of lawn we have. And I don't really want to spend, you know, 60-80 bucks and this was quite a while ago. But what we started doing is we started having a neighborhood kid mow our lawn for 20 bucks per time. And you know, that ended up being a total cost of $400. And save me about 25 hours worth of time every single year, especially during the summer months when that lawn is growing frantically. So now, we've actually transitioned it over. My son, I don't know if I've ever talked about this on the podcast, Phillip, have I told you this before, like when each of my kids turned 12, I'm helping them start a business?

Phillip Migyanko 11:17
Yep. And I think McKenzie opened up a cupcake.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:20
Yes.

Phillip Migyanko 11:20
That I want to be an investor in but that's another subject for another time.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:23
Yeah. So my son, who just recently turned 12, decided he wanted to start a lawn mowing business. So he's mowing our lawn. He's renting our lawn mower from us, which I wanted it to be a real business and have real business learning. So yes, he's renting our lawn mower from us. And then the way that that happens is he mows our lawn. So now at this point, he's doing that. And there's the additional bonus of we're spending time in a way that I want to and I don't have to mow the lawn. Right? Fantastic. All the way around. Phillip, I know that yesterday, you mentioned that meal prep is one of these things that saves you a ton of time. So I'm curious about that.

Phillip Migyanko 12:00
Yeah, so meal prep is such a big one. And we all know it. And sometimes it's one of those big things that we need to do. But one of the biggest things that we do is at the beginning of every week, we're always thinking about always the next week or sometimes two weeks ahead where we're kind of deciding which meals do we want to be having, make sure they're prepped and ready to go for dinners. That we have really busy days, you just want to have things ready to go by the time to make things but also that they're healthy, that they're nutritious, all those types of things. So what we do is we'll get all of our groceries on Saturday or even earlier in the day Sunday. And then we spend about two or three hours on Sunday, some upfront time planning both of our lunches, but also all of our dinners for the whole week. And that just saves so much time because really we're just rotating between 10 different meals, we're getting through the less decision fatigue about, which thing do we have to eat this week. And what's that look like for lunch this week. And I always have a problem because sometimes I forget to eat lunch because I'm just like helping and talk to people so much. So having things ready to go on Sunday for the whole week, it's been super helpful for us, and essentially putting a little bit more time early in the week to save time later on. So we can spend time just like talking or being together and have your dinner for ready to go. But Scott, you guys use an app and you have somebody who makes those kind of meal preps for you, right?

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:11
Yeah, we've turned this to an entire system.

Phillip Migyanko 13:13
I'm super curious about that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:15
I know, I said that we talked about systems later. Here's one small tidbit of an example of how we've done that. So we use a service called eMeals in the habit in the form of an app. And the way that this is structured is they actually will, based on what your dietary needs are, like, whether you want to eat paleo, or you want to eat keto, or you want to eat comfort food, like, you can choose just about anything that's on there. We subscribed many years ago when they only have like two meal plan options. But now they have many, many, many, and they're really very, very, very good too. So you can make all of those choices. And then what happens is when the next week rolls up, you can just click the button and say, "I want to eat that. I want to eat that one. I want to eat that." and then, this is the really fun part, it will transfer all of the information that in the form of list items that you need to purchase over to whatever other app of your choice. So whether that is like Safeway or Kroger or Walmart or, you know, insert your service here that might deliver your groceries or allow you to do pickup, it just transfers all that information over there. It's integrated together. And then with the click of a button, it sends it over to, you know, Walmart or Trader Joe's or wherever it is, and boom, it's there. Now, you can press the order button in the other app, and then it can show up at your doorstep or you can go pick it up. So we go and pick it up once a week. So the extra advanced portion of this is if you don't love the meal prep portion, you could have somebody else do it too. So that's something that we've been experimenting with over the last couple of years and that's worked out quite well. What we've settled on is that works really well for us for lunches and breakfast. We still prefer to make all of our own dinners. That's just something that we'd love to do. But the whole system around it just has it show up so we can go to the grocery store, pick it up, take a total of 10 minutes to do that, and it's exactly what we wanted without all the time spent planning. So that in itself estimate, I was talking to my wife about this the other day, it now happens... it used to take about, let's say, 105 minutes or that translate to about 91 hours per year creating a menu and then go into the store and shopping and everything and that was on the low side. Now, it takes less than 35 minutes a week for everything to happen in total. And it costs less than $30, by the way, per month. So yeah, there's another example here. So what about this third category here, adding back time that's being taken away in the form of obstacles or distractions. This I think might be possibly the most valuable one. Realize sometimes I didn't realize in many cases and still to this day I'm pretty relentless about tracking how I'm spending my time and setting up feedback loops so that I can understand how I'm spending my time in ways that are accidental so that I can edit it out versus just do that year after year after year. So this first one, get ready for it, it's going to make you cringe.

Phillip Migyanko 16:06
Oh it made me cringe when I thought.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:08
Oh my goodness, yeah. Okay, so it is canceling Netflix. I know. But here's what I found, we actually, and we do still have Disney plus if that makes anybody feel bad. I don't know.

Phillip Migyanko 16:20
Yeah. Because there's, you know, you can put shows you're watching. So cancel any of the subscription services. But yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:26
Yeah. But by canceling Netflix, what I would do, and I love Netflix, I'll be the first to say they have an amazing service. They have wonderful movies, they've done a really nice job, I think, of produced, like, changing their business model to now where they're producing a lot of movies as well and series and everything else that goes along with it. But I also have noticed that just experimenting with it saves me about 35 hours per year at a minimum and that's probably a low estimate based on what I found. Because what happens is I would find an episode of something and then I couldn't stop watching it, could not control myself. Yes, I know we talked about lots of things, like, where I think people are assuming there's tons of discipline there. I have zero discipline when it comes to an amazing series. So I'll just literally binge watch when I'm supposed to be working. Like, that is a real thing that has happened. So I've realized that that is not, you know, a year later when I think about that, it's like oh yeah, I didn't actually want to spend my time that way. I just felt like I couldn't spend my time any other way after I saw that first episode. So that's one way.

Phillip Migyanko 17:28
But, you know, it's interesting. That's like me when I'm, like, trying not to eat a chocolate bar so I just don't bring any chocolate into my house because I'm like, if I have a chocolate bar, I'm gonna eat the whole thing at one time. So my decision it's, kind of, discipline is when I'm going through the store, I just don't pick up any chocolate and it's kind of the same thing also with my phone, too. I noticed for me and, you know, one of the other tactics that I were talking about before we were hitting record here was just removing all the notifications from my phone, my computer, iPad, all those types of things because I don't really necessarily want it to be in control of my attention. It's more of, anything that pings me is like I'm being distracted and it removes me from the task that I'm looking to do and it's really easy, you go... if you've got an iPhone, you go into your settings app, you just turn off all notifications except for the apps that you want on and, really, for me too, it's such the social media apps, especially games, all of these things they are designed to have you plug into your phone and the biggest way they do that is notifying "oh hey, here's a new thing for you" "oh hey someone on your photos like something" or "oh this new, new thing" and so you just have to, yeah, we're gonna make that noise a "ooh" thing that's going to be an... But more importantly, it's just removing all of those like little distractions especially notifications on your phone because this little black box that now we carry with us all the time just becomes an Uber distraction piece for whatever is out on the internet and you can really make sure that it's working for you instead of you working for it. And, for me, specifically, that means yeah, no games. I got it. They are all off my phone.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:57
And I think you could probably argue that maybe part of, maybe this is also an example of setting up your environment, too, not having chocolate. And I know that's less of a time saving thing, well, I guess it depends on how long it takes. But certainly, the email notification where it is saving and conserving your attention so therefore you are more productive in spending your time in the way that you want to, that is absolutely also an example of setting up your environment but it is minimizing those obstacles and distractions too. You know, something else that... and I know Phillip, you know this and now Kathy, who's on our team, jokes about this all the time because she now is obsessive over this one thing I cannot stand, and I know that sounds insane but it adds up. I cannot stand making, you know, five clicks where I could possibly have just done one click or a keystrokes or here's the example, if my computer is processing faster, and I don't have to wait on it, that is more time that is not consumed if with individual tasks, which means that my tasks that are spent on my computer or phone get shorter. So what I've learned is that, for me, personally, this is not right for everyone. But for me personally, I spend a fair amount of time on the computer. So keystrokes count, and if I'm waiting on the computer to process, then that means that it literally takes longer. And that's something that quite frankly, I can't stand. So my life is infinitely better when I buy the fastest processing laptop, or the fastest processing computer. And for me, that typically cost me about $1,000 more per computer. But I get it back very, very quickly, because I spend a fair amount of time on the computer. And I'm not waiting and more importantly, I'm not frustrated, too, at the every single computer usage. It's now a pleasure to use my computer instead of be mad at technology. So there's another one. And I know that there's a lot of apps out there that can help with that, too. One of the things that we use on our team is this email app that syncs up with Google or Gmail, and it's called Superhuman, and they literally have reduced the keystrokes and clicks that it takes in order to operate that and they've cut it in half. So it takes... where it used to take three or four mouse clicks to process email for one type of email plus all the keystrokes, now you can do that with less, you can actually use the entire email system without the mouse at all, which is so much faster than switching back and forth. Yes, I know that's super nerdy. And I love it.

Phillip Migyanko 21:31
This is not a paid advertisement for Superhuman at all. But I mean, if Superhuman is listening, we will definitely take that. But more importantly, there's so many benefits of the Superhuman app, it really helps just more really schedule the emails for a later period of time, you're less than clicking and clicking back through and overall and it really allows you just to focus on the most important pieces of email because I definitely get lost in just the mountains of emails. And as, you know, as many of them come in, and some of them just aren't important. And I know a lot of my clients or a lot of the people that I talked to is they have like email inboxes that are like a thousand plus, they go, "I just need to go unsubscribe that thing, cleaned it out." But instead, "I'm just gonna give a whole new another email. So then I'm just gonna leave that to one of the site and get this new one. And Superhuman is definitely helpful and the email processing and kind of cleaning all that stuff out.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:19
Just makes it easier. Here's another one, this is gonna also sound very, very nerdy. Phillip, you have been to my house, and you've seen my garage. And most people think that it's super organized and everything because it literally has a place for everything. And then also we've built out places for future things, too, even containers that don't have anything in it. But they have a label for when they will have something in it down the road. Yes, that is the level of intensity that is put into the garage. But one of the things that we were finding is that even though we had drastically reduced the amount of consumption that we had made as a family, we were still finding that we were having lots and lots of items in places for things, or I should say lots and lots of items that needed to go to Goodwill, and we didn't have a place for it. So we were actually spending lots of time and energy. And again, I know this sounds absurd, but we were spending more time and energy than what I wanted to be spending trying to figure out what to do with this stuff. So when I had redone the garage and redesigned it, built a staging area for items to go to Goodwill, or to be able to donate to different charities. So it's super easy to get to. Now, it's right outside the door. So it's not an obstacle. And it takes less time to be able to, when we need one to donate something, I can go and I can just put it in this basket. And then when we make a run to, you know, Goodwill or get a place where we can donate that, then it's right there. It's easy. It doesn't take additional time. Most importantly, it's not capturing my attention. But this is something that we found we were doing all the time. Another thing, Phillip, I don't know if you do this, but Amazon has a wonderful, wonderful return system at this point if you have prime. So we can just take it down to the UPS Store, which we already... We send all our business items, we ship through UPS and the UPS Store and we have an account down there anyway. But you can just show them your Amazon app, they'll scan it, and you don't even have to put it back in the box. So if we're returning something from Amazon, then we can just basically take it in and toss it on the counter and say, "Here you go." And they'll take care of everything else for it. So this makes it easier for us to be able to shop at amazon, which of course, they've done a really nice job with. They want us to continue to shop at Amazon. But they're meeting some of our needs and it ends up saving us time versus ordering from other places. Now if something doesn't work, it's so much easier for us to just take it back, it fits in and we have this little staging area for returns that go to places, too, so they don't stack up in our house. Okay, so what are the... now I've given you totally nerdy items. What do you find that you're doing, Phillip, that is out of the normal, we'll call it, that ends up saving you time?

Phillip Migyanko 25:00
That's such a good question. I think one of the, you know, we talked about meal prep, that's such a big one. I think what all this comes down to is the intentionality of things. So there is times where we've got the same thing. We have things that go in certain places, I've got meal prep time, but I think one of the biggest things that I do, and I think one of the things that we do, really, for our clients that are going through this actual career change is what we're thinking about is, how much time are they actually spending reaching out? I did the same thing when I was in my career search. But you might have heard one of our clients on this very podcast, Vicky, who I was working with. And for her, she spent a lot of time in the research phase. And specifically during that reach out phase, there can be lots of lots of places where it can be very time consuming, because so many people like to do the research part. And you don't really want to reach out to somebody if you don't know something about them. And then people get all those thoughts in their head, like, "Okay, well, I have to know what school they went to, the city they live in, the name of their dog, what's all those things before I talk to him just in case those things might come up." And I find, yes, so many people spend a lot of time in there. So one of the things that I do that's personal in my life, but one things I help really focused clients on is we really take those available hours for things that are kind of outside, and we go, okay, so for clients, they might have seven hours, they might have 10, they might have one, whatever that number might be, we look and we go, "Alright, here's the available hours that you have to work on this career change work" and we go okay, so we know in the reach out phase, there's really four big components, sourcing, i.e., finding the people who you're going to reach out to, researching, finding out the unique things kind of about them, and then be able to do the talking points for them. And that's where people tend to spend the most time. And then writing the email actually to them, number three. And number four is actually sending the email to them and doing any of those like and sillery types of things. I have clients who do loom videos, that's a service where you can record a free video that's just about a minute long, and makes it a little bit more personal. A couple other things there. But so many people spend so much time in that second part, that research phase. So what we do is we go "Okay, all that available hours, how can we time block and essentially time limit, which is a little bit counterintuitive to a saving time, but time limit all of those aspects of those four parts of reaching out." So what I do with my clients are, we go, okay, and especially in Vicky and her case, we said, we found that she was spending hours and hours, like five plus hours a week in the research phase. And I said, "Vicky, all right, we now only have two. So we have to find the unique aspects of each person in that two hour time, so we can send out those emails. Because email sent out is better than no email sent out." So allows us to really make sure that we're limiting our time to focus on the best places, and ultimately, again, come back and save more of that mental bandwidth for us. Because if we're spending too much time in the wrong areas and not getting results, it's really not getting us any place. So it's a really good aspect from the time learning aspect. Because we're always trying to figure out where we can best utilize and spend our time and remove the obstacles that might potentially get in the way.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:01
Time limiting is, I think one of the most effective strategies and tools that you can have, not just for your career change, although it works particularly well for your career change, or any other area where it's new for you or you have perfectionist tendencies, or you care a whole lot about because those are the areas where we have a tendency to spend inordinate amounts of time rather than just doing it and doing the 80% good enough version and then moving on even though the 80% good enough version might be just as effective in most cases. So thank you for pointing that out. The other other thing I would say here, if you're in the midst of making a career change, pick out just one of the strategies, one of the strategies to save you time elsewhere so that you can make more time for your career change or utilize that strategy that we just talked about in saying "Look, I'm going to time limit myself, I'm going to spend... I'm gonna allow myself 90 minutes in total to be able to spend on this task. At the end of it, I'm going to consider it done." And, you know, just pick out one of these so that you can, instead, utilize that time that you now get back in one way or another to be able to focus on what's a priority for you, in this case, your career change. And here's the other thing too. If you are wanting more of this, these are things that we do for our clients every single day. This is just a tidbit. This is just a small amount of the strategies that we personally use or we personally use with our clients and, you know, we can absolutely help, it's what we are here to do. It's what we love to do. It's what we do every day. So, you know, reach out to us. Phillip is one of the people that gets to have so many of the conversations with people who are trying to decide if we are the right people to help them through their career or... and we're trying to decide what is the very best way that we can support them. So do this, just email me directly scott@happentoyourcareer.com, just send me an email, put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And what will happen is that either myself or our team will get back to you. And we'll go ahead and set up a time to chat. And that way we can understand your situation, ask you some questions and figure out the very best way that we can support you for the type of career change that you want to make. And Phillip is, like I said, one of those people that you may very well talk to, and he's really, really great at it. Phillip, what advice would you give to somebody who's in that situation where they're trying to figure out what is the right type of help to get during this career change, regardless of whether we're helping or, you know, they're trying to do something for themselves?

Phillip Migyanko 30:38
Yeah, I'd say the biggest thing there, that's a really great question. Because it can be really different for everybody. And really, the biggest thing, or the advice I'd give to somebody who is sitting in those shoes right now is, the best thing you can do is raise your hand and ask for help and to continue moving forward. Because I usually say this to a lot of people in those calls is that there's lots of people in the world who sit and stay in their same spot and wish they would have done something. And we all know people like that, and then they end up retiring, and then it's not good. And then the difference between those people and the people who send that email to Scott and jump on a call with me or somebody on our team is that they raise their hand, and ask for help, and decided to do something about it. The biggest piece of advice is raise your hand, ask for help. We have a whole team of people here, there's tons and tons of people out there looking for help and wanting to give help. So you're not in this alone.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:26
You heard it here first. So Phillip has talked to many, many, many hundreds of people over the last couple of years. And I think that that's great advice well served. If there's anything that we can do for you or anything else that you want to hear on the Happen To Your Career podcast, don't hesitate to let us know. Otherwise, drop me an email scott@happentoyourcareer.com, and we'll be thrilled to pieces to set you up with Phillip or someone else on our team. And guess what, we have so much more coming up for you right here on Happen To Your Career next time. See what's in store.

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:04
What if, after going through all the work that it takes to get a job, you realize, almost on day one, that it's nowhere close to what you expected it was going to be. In fact, it's far worse than that. It's the opposite of what you expected is going to be. Well, if you were in that situation, you'd probably start looking for a new role, right? Well, that's what happened to Cheri. You heard her voice in the introduction. She realized early on that her new role was not totally what she expected it to be. She became super unhappy, and started searching for a new job within a month. She applied to a ton of roles but kept hitting the dead end. But here's the thing, if we fast forward, spoiler alert, we'll see that she made it to one of those roles that when she saw it in the job description, she originally didn't feel qualified for it.

Cheri Thom 33:00
I wanted to be a product owner. I have found that I really like that idea of, kind of, being a subject matter expert and, kind of, owning a process or product. And I hadn't been looking for that when I was looking for jobs because I didn't feel like I was qualified for it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:17
One thing we see all the time that's really unfortunate is so many people limit themselves to roles that they feel like they check all the boxes for every single bullet point on the entire job description. I see this all the time. You find the listing, you immediately scroll down to all the job requirements, you mentally check off everything as you go. But then you find there one or two qualifications that you don't have, you sigh and then you hit the back button to check on the next listing. No good, right? A lot of times, the people that get hired in those situations don't have all the qualifications, it happens so frequently, I can't tell you how much, you know, coming from my HR days and recruiting days. And certainly, we see that all the time here at Happen To Your Career as we're helping people. But I want you to take a listen to Cheri's story because this is one of those situations. She navigated through all the mental and real challenges that come up along the way. So you'll hear her describe that. All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

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Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

Intentional Happiness: The Importance Of Being True To Yourself

on this episode

It can sometimes seem like many people just get lucky in life – somehow they get the things that everyone wants.

But it’s not really luck. It just so happens that the science of happiness works whether you are intentional or not. 

However, to get the best results in your life and career, you must be intentional in your actions. But how do you figure out where to start?

What you’ll learn

  • The difference between internal happiness and external happiness
  • What led Jen to figuring out what was most important in her life
  • The benefits of being intentional in your life
  • The biggest restrictions to following your purpose
  • How to be true to your whole self in your career

Want to hear more from Jenn? Look for her new book Beyond Happiness in October, 2021.

Success Stories

I think one of the reasons the podcast has been so helpful to me is because you talk to people in different roles, and all of a sudden I have exposure to people in different roles. Talking about why they got there and what they like about it.

Laura Morrison, Senior Product Manager, United States/Canada

If you're ready to make the change, if you're willing to give yourself the time that you deserve to figure out what's right for you. If you're willing to take that time, I think Happen To Your Career, and the Figure Out What Fits course, can be great for a lot of people, if you're feeling stuck, and you don't have to bridge that gap to where you are. I think this is a great, great course to really break everything down and give you what you need.

Nicole Mathessen, Art Director, United States/Canada

Jenn Lim 00:11
For me, sort of selfishly, was when I was down and out. And, like, I was 28, 29 and like a whole trifecta happened to me. I got laid off from my job, 911 happened, like...

Introduction 00:33
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:57
I am a total nerd when it comes to anything that has to do with the science around happiness, psychology, and I just absolutely love it. And that's one of the reasons why I was so excited to have our next guest on the show. But the other reason was, because well, I had been a fan of her work for... going on 10 years now.

Jenn Lim 01:25
So it was a selfish, sort of, like, inward look of, well, what is meaningful? So before I got to the organizational stage, I had to do that hard reflection within myself. And then understanding that "oh, purpose" and this was the terminology that is now versus then. But what was it for you? Like, how can I make these big decisions of, where I work, where I live, who I go out with, you know, like, and not have to, like, have a whole conundrum every single time. I realized it was like, Okay, what is the most important thing to me?

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:00
That's Jenn Lim. She's the author of a brand new book called 'Beyond Happiness'. She learned how to identify what was really important to her after she had been laid off from her job, her dad was diagnosed with cancer. All of that was happening at the same time as 911 was occurring and all the global events that followed. Well, after looking internally and doing much research, Jen learned how to be much more intentional and leverage the science in psychology behind happiness. This led to her working as a consultant with Tony Hsieh, the former CEO at Zappos, and later the two of them co founded the company Delivering Happiness. Take a listen to Jen's story, but basically pay attention later on in the episode because she talks about what actually works as it relates to career happiness.

Jenn Lim 02:58
Just, kind of, paint this picture of this journey of like, and, I don't know if you read the book, or just seen the book, or whatever, but one of the things that we talked about is the highs and lows of life, and heartbeats of our life. So for me, sort of selfishly, was when I was down and out. And, like, I was 28, 29 and like a whole trifecta happened to me. I got laid off from my job, 911 happened, my father got colon cancer diagnosed with colon cancer. So all this was like, "wait, what the... what is going on?" Like, I was making good money, you know, that calm days, right? Flying high. I was like, oh, even though I majored in Asian American Studies, I'm able to tell my mom and dad, "Don't worry, I got it." And of course, everything fell. So for me, that was a huge sort of awakening point of "Wait, what is this matter again?" So super existential questions that I think, COVID actually, in the last, you know, 2020 of last one and a half years brought back to our lives. So at that moment, I just wouldn't look inward, because all the things that I thought were important, which was, at that time, you know, I was like, in school and all that money, internal status was like, "I need to make that happen." And then I got it. And then it was like, "Wait, it's gone. And I still feel nothing more meaningful than before." So it was a selfish, sort of, like, inward look of, well, what is meaningful? So before I got to the organizational stage, I had to do that hard reflection within myself. And then understanding that "oh, purpose" and this was the terminology that is now versus then. But what was it for you? Like, how can I make these big decisions of where I work, where I live, who I go out with, you know, like, and not have to, like, have a whole conundrum every single time. I realized it was like, "Okay, what is the most important thing to me?" So that's how it all started. And so this is pre my days at Zappos, pre Delivering Happiness and then through that time for him was more organizations and leaders, and when I say leaders, I mean at every level, like, we're all leaders, right? So when leaders get that sort of lightbulb in their own way, then that's when actual change happens. So that was my inspiration, just like figure out my own life and see what that means. And I was like, "Oh, wait, this can actually be scaled to organizations and teams. And we can actually make this world a happier place" you know, like, all those collegiate type of thoughts and mentality became real to me from a scientific basis, there's the positive psychology and all that, but that's kind of the trajectory of what I've seen, of what actually makes change happen in the world.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:38
That is really interesting. And I told you earlier that I've been aware of your work for over 10 years, around 10 years or so now. But I don't think I was aware of, you know, what took place in, sort of like, early career and everything like that for you until I was prepping for our conversation. And now what I'm really curious about when you were going through all that for yourself, and you're sort of having this inward look, do you remember what any of those realizations were for you? Or you said just a moment to go, "Hey, I had to figure out what were the priorities for me. Or what was most important for me." Do you remember where you... any of the pieces that you arrived at at that time?

Jenn Lim 06:14
Yes, sure. It's, like, probably because I had to write this freaking book. And they have to... the way, what are those...?

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:22
Now you're prepared for this conversation. The thing you had to write a book.

Jenn Lim 06:27
Oh, yes. Not the easiest way to go back into having reflections and memories. But there was two things: it was the inward one and the outward one. So the inward one was very, like, existential like, "Wait, what the frick am I doing right now? Like, why does this even matter? And what matters to me?" That turn point, like, that turning point for me was when I saw all these people suffering, you know, like, with the layoffs, with the 911, with my dad, you know, getting diagnosed with cancer, it's almost like, "wait, that's kind of crazy, because I've been spending all this time trying to work, work, work, and make myself established. I have a status for myself, but I'd actually rather be spending time with the people I love" So that turning point was very significant, because then I knew I was making decisions on, number one, the people I love and care about, including humanity in the world. So that was a big one. And then so that was inward. Like what my own purpose is, it's for serving people but being true to myself, number one. Being the authentic self is realizing this is how I'm going to make decisions. And then there was the external side, which is, "What am I going to do with this, sort of, aha moment of like, yeah, I want to be true to myself so what am I do with it?" And then it's the realization, I can connect that to other people, like, what is it that I was brought here for, what I'm passionate about, or purposeful for. And then at that moment, it was like, "Well, I don't necessarily need to be in corporate America or corporate world anymore, I want to actually want to understand how this new realization comes out in the work I do, whether it's passion stuff with art, or you know, creativity, or within the business realm, which has a lot of creativity too." So that's when I realized that's the extension of, number one, I had to be true to what was going on inside, get my values straight, get my priorities straight, make my decision making and cloud, like, all this craziness in my head, sink into groundedness, and then extend that to others. Because I realized that was my number one value as people, how do I have those relationships with others?

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:40
You know, what's really interesting to me is, I heard you say something earlier, too, about, you know, as you had some of these realizations, and then you started doing other different types of work, you started seeing that some of the science actually supported what you had sort of realized for yourself too, as well. And I think that's been a bit of a conundrum for me over the years. If we go back, you know, 20 plus years ago or so, that was... I very much felt that I worked for a number of organizations, well, I'm really glad for the experiences, you know, some of these were considered to be great organizations from people standpoint, and yet being in them and around them, it still felt very non human, and like, I couldn't be myself at work. And then later on, I had a similar experience where, as I started understanding what the research and science says, it's like, "Oh, no, no. I wasn't totally way off pace." So I'm curious, what's behind that for you as you were going along on that journey, as you started work with Zappos and other organizations later on, what did that trajectory look like for you? And what became apparent?

Jenn Lim 09:42
Yeah, as you were sharing your story, I feel like we're totally living parallel tracks. Because here I was going in my whole, like, "wait, what is this all mean?" I thought I had it figured out for myself. And then I came across this whole body of research and the science, like, "wait, there's happiness science in positive psychology", like, this was huge and new. And this was when I started, like, collaborating with Tony at Zappos and all that stuff and implementing that in an organizational level. But that was that moment of like, *ting*, like, "Wait, I don't have to do all the research. I don't have to make myself a guinea pig of everything. I actually can learn from this body of work." So the top things that came from that, sort of, awakening was there's actually scientific lovers that actually focus on not what's wrong with us, per se, but actually what's right with them, and to be honest with those wrong with us, but I should be recognizing that, "Okay, these are the things that can help me get up in that level." So senses of autonomy or control, sense of progress, growing, developing, learning, a sense of connectedness, a huge one, especially right now, when we're on demand and all that, like, "who am I connected to" and I would like to do that in my workspace, ideally, not just at home. And then ultimately having that higher purpose, and that word is being used a lot these days. But really, what am I doing beyond myself was that connection to this greater thing called the world and the universe. So when I came across that, I was just, like, what, like, those are the levers that are scientifically proven. And it became a tool, you know, like being able to say, "Oh, these are the things that I can remind myself on a daily basis, like, what are the things that I can have more control of?" So that's like a personal decision not to go back to the corporate world, but to actually do crazy passionate things and start my own company, co-founded something with Tony, you know, all those things. And then, like, you know, the progress stuff, like, how do I feel like I'm developing in life as a person, not just a worker or employee, making sure my connections are meaningful that how's the weather or you know, who won, you know, the baseball game today, I mean, those are super important. But there's layers within that, that get us really deeply grounded with each other. And of course, that higher purpose that we all hear so much about, but having the ability to feel it on a day to day basis was what that journey became of when I was, like, "Wow, this is happening. This is already existing in the world. How do I connect myself to that?" So that became like, "The Hero's Journey", if you're familiar with Joseph Campbell's work.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:20
Yes. Absolutely. Well, and it also leads to another question that I was really interested in asking you. And from your perspective, you know, you're talking about purpose, which is over the last 10 years becomes sort of a buzzword, like engagement, and all of the others that have followed. What do you feel like, are some of the biggest or what have you seen are some of the biggest things that stop people from feeling that sense of purpose, that sense of connection to purpose? What are some of those biggest restrictors if you will?

Jenn Lim 12:52
Yeah, I think, I mean, this is a little too basic in the sense, like, as human beings were resistant to change, and then I'm a huge, like, fan of science and nature. And so I geek out on all that stuff and how systems happen in the world with animals. So, like, a Darwin thing is, it's not the smartest or strongest that survive, it's those that are most able to adapt. I'm paraphrasing here. Because he has a whole body of work, but so that, I think, is where that, sort of, natural selection in some ways, like, the animals and the eco systems and the bio systems that survive or those that adapt. And we are not, as humans, equipped for that naturally, whereas nature animals are usually more equipped, but either that or they not. So I think that's the biggest barrier within ourselves, like, we're so... when we get into our comfort zone of what works, it's so hard to change it because like, why would we want to move away from something that feel safe, and this goes again, back to the prehistoric ages, like we just want to survive, like, our brain works that way. So that we're, when we're primal, I just want to survive. I'm just hitting this, you know, mid cortex versus my prefrontal because I don't want my prefrontal to make decisions because I'm just in this, you know, freeze mode of life. So I think it goes back physiologically, it goes back, I don't want to be eaten by a lion. But these days, there's not many lions going on, at least where I live, I don't know where you're living.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:25
You know, it's pretty crazy out here in Central Washington. To be clear, I also don't want to be eaten alive.

Jenn Lim 14:31
There's different types of lions out there. But basically, that really primal desire to protect yourselves is there but that's why I think we're at a different stage now. We're more elevated and we have the luxury of being able to talk about these things that even my parents didn't have, they were trying to, you know, put food on the table, you know, and I'd love to hear about yours, ancestors as well. It's like now we have the luxury of, like, thinking about these more bigger elevating things that can transcend this survival mechanism, because this sense of purpose that we know that we were born into, it was in us when we came out of our mom's womb, whether or not we tap into that, because there's so much resistance out there is our choice, it's hard as hell, but it's our choice to go back into it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:19
You know, thinking about that, and it being your choice... I have, well, it sort of makes me think about a few other things too, at the same time. And, one of the other pieces, I know that, you know, even though you're doing organizational work, right before we got on here, really hit the recording button, we were talking a little bit about how it can't be driven 100% from the organization side to show up and be able to just expect that the organization is going to 100% allow you to just be yourself at work, it has to be driven from both sides in many different ways, which means there has to be work done from the individual, as well as the organization in order to create a, I'm going to call it a situation, that allows people to show up and be their whole selves at work, which is something both you and I geek out about. So I'm curious, how do we distinguish between what are some of the pieces that we really need to do for ourselves versus what organizations can do?

Jenn Lim 16:21
I love these questions. I'm really glad that we're talking again, after all these years of, like, you following this, because it's such a current pressing question to answer, especially right now. Sort to me, like, that asshole that says, gotta read my book, because I don't want to be that person.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:39
The book is great, though. It's worth a read. I will say, I read it, and I enjoyed it immensely.

Jenn Lim 16:45
Thank you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:45
Break down for us. What are some of the lines?

Jenn Lim 16:48
Before the asshole, like, the main saying, like, oh, as I say in my book, that's the line that's like, hard for me to say because, but basically, the separation between what's internal and external. So I kind of touched upon this before. So I'm calling what we are in right now the adaptive age. Like this is Darwinian, this is like, basically, we've gone through all these eras of generations of being farmers, and then industrialists, and then technologists, and then now I feel like we're in the adaptive age. So what that means for me is like, let's control we can within and embrace and adapt to what we can control. So that to me is the separation between inner and outer of organizations. So the inner is like, and as I referenced in the book, a lot about purpose and values. And I go through all these exercises of understanding what really is you can, like, basically guess those will evolve over time, but at least putting a stake in your ground, on our ground, in everyone's ground and say, "Hey, I've done a bit of work" and understanding what that is. So I can draw that line and said, "This is what means everything to me."

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:51
I'm super curious, give me an example of one or two of those exercises that you're referring to.

Jenn Lim 17:55
Yeah, so one of them, first one is the Happiness Heartbeats one, like as you can imagine, like on a heartbeat monitor, the metaphor for that is that, "that's life." And even though we're, you know, my company is called Delivering Happiness, this book is called "Beyond Happiness", it's knowing that those highs and lows will come. And so as an exercise, it's really simple, it's basically storytelling your own life, and identify those highs and lows in your life from childhood. And it's really important to include the whole thing, and I actually encourage people to not just think about work, I think about life, because it's pretty much time we spent on earth.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:30
It's mutually dependent on...

Jenn Lim 18:33
Right, or integration. Yes. So when you map those things out, just think top highs, top high moments, three on each side, and then three low moments, and then go to each of those moments and ask yourself, you know, "what values were there not there?" "what people were there or not there?" asking those questions, just kind of dissect it, knowing the highs are as just as important as your lows in determining what that's sustainable happiness is, that's what truthfulness is all about. So that's an exercise that we really encourage, like, one of the first things to do is like, let's just, you know, before we talk about anything else, go into your life, your own journey. And that reflection is really cool. And then the other one is what I call "the wheel of wholeness". So if you can imagine a whole bunch of like pieces in the pie, one of the things that in organizations that I work with, that don't have yet but are working there is to understand not just the employee lifecycle, like "oh, I'm gonna, like, recruit, and then train" and then they're gonna leave. It's more about the holistic life cycle. So the wheel of wholeness is about these puzzle pieces, or these pie pieces that are important to every individual. So it's not just about how they are as employees, but as human being. So the pie pieces are about not just like, "are you feeling gratified or satisfied with your work? it's like, "where are you financially? Are you feeling sound?" Because that affects your psychological state and whether or not you're productive work. If you're freaking out about, "I'm not getting enough", then you're not going to be as productive, kind of thing. And then the other pieces are, "Where are you mentally? Where are you emotionally? Where are you relationally, with people in and outside of work? And where are you spiritually or purposefully?" that kind of thing. So that expands it in a way that we're looking at employees as human beings, knowing that psychological state will affect anytime they move into the work state. So those are a couple exercises that we like to do just because it gives you a snapshot. And then once you check in again, you know what to dial up, dial down, and things to work on.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:37
I appreciate you sharing those in detail. That's super helpful. I also recognize that I diverted you from the original question that I asked as well, which was, you know, where, and we can go back to it as well, because you were on a really good trend line there. You were starting to tell me a little bit more about where is that line in terms of how can we think about like, what does the company responsible for or organization responsible for versus what am I responsible for? So I'm curious, any other thoughts that you have on that, too?

Jenn Lim 21:04
Yeah. So I think this we've come to a place like people talk about future work all the time. And it's kind of like, what does that mean? So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:13
Thank you for saying that out loud. Yes.

Jenn Lim 21:16
Okay, like that sounds like...

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:18
Like engagement or something at this point. Yeah.

Jenn Lim 21:21
Anyhow, that matters to me. But I really feel like this whole concept of this future of work of AI technology and displacement, and re, you know, re skilling and all that, it just got totally ushered in, in quick form in 2020, without us knowing it, and the future work. So basically, those decisions need to be made of who's responsible for what and what I say in the book, I call it not just accountability, but co owned accountability with each other. And what I mean by that, and I know, accountability sounds like, "Ugh, what is it?" It's another one of those words, everyone's sick of hearing it. But I'm thinking about accountability in villages. You remember back in the day, like when we're all in villages, no one was designated certain teams or certain roles, we were all accountable for each other, because we want to survive, fast forward to how dolphins operate, or orcas operate. They're all accountable for their roles. Because one dolphin is a swimmer underneath and like, get all the fish up, so everyone else can eat. And those things are ingrained in a natural way. So what I mean by co owned accountability is whatever position you're in, it's just so important. This is where the twist comes in, too, like to have these conversations, to have that sense of like, "wait, what am I bringing to the table? What are you bringing to the table? And how are we going to work on this together?" Because even organizations that say from the get go, like, "we're gonna give you an amazing employee engagement, and all these perks and all that stuff" at the end of the day is really who you work for, and who you work with. It's like your team, that you really need to have that really honest, transparent communication with. So in some ways, it depends on the team and the organization you work with. But what's really helpful to the conversations in terms that line, the question that you're originally asking, when you come to the table, knowing that this is my, this is who I am, my purpose, my values, and if this engagement or this team is not honoring that, why would I continue to do that? I mean, it's easier said than done for certain times and people but that's kind of where I draw the line, like in terms of, do I want to live in a life of integrity and being true to my authentic self?

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:34
One of the pieces of really simple logic that I always go back to is if you don't know what those are for yourself, it's difficult to ask for them, it's really difficult to have those types of conversations that you're talking about, if I don't understand what I stand for, if I don't understand what I value the most is really difficult for me to articulate that to someone else. You know, another really interesting thing and I'm curious your opinion on this too. But we've found, and I'll give you a little bit of preface or context, a lot of the work that we will do is we'll help people make career changes often what people consider to be the type of sort of unicorn career changes where they're transitioning to a role or organization or situation that does allow them to be so much more of themselves but part of the magic behind that is that they first have to understand what it is that they want. Now here's the here's the part that's really interesting to me, is that I find that in many many many situations where people think it's impossible to create a situation where you can be more of yourself and people look at that and go, "Yeah, that organizations not going to do that" or like, "that boss is never going to say yes to that." But so many of those situations, if you know what it is that you stand for, you know what aligns with your purpose, if you know what you are aligns with what you value, then when you can articulate it and do ask for what you want, you can usually find some resolution that is in alignment. Yeah. So I'm curious, what's been your experience on that?

Jenn Lim 25:07
First of all, I love what you all do. I love what your organization does towards...

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:11
Thank you.

Jenn Lim 25:11
Feel like we're, you know, we're cut from the same cloth basically, in terms of what we're trying to strive for, because you know, who wants to wake up unhappy and sleep unhappy? Because this is our time. And being the best we can. So love that. And you're totally right, it's not easy. And it's not to say that the work that we are talking about is easy at all. But the question is, is it worth the effort if it means waking up every morning, and being able to feel and say, "Look, I don't have to turn on the news, or I don't have to, like go on my feed and I have to see what's going on the world. I am grounded within because I know my purpose and values." And I know that's easy to say. But like, that's why these exercises that I introduce are talked about in the book are so important, because at least it's a line in the sand of understanding that. But yeah, of course, it's not easy to implement. But one of the things I would say, having been on both sides of the table of hiring, and trying to be hired, when someone comes to the table with that sense of who they are, what they believe in, if I put my employer hat on, I'd be like, "this person is who I need, like that sense of like, that's resistance to the chaos around us." That's a sense of like, "no matter what's gonna happen, I'm resilient", you know, I'm already grinding myself. So no matter what, like with your company, if I agree or aligned with your purpose or values as a company, I'm all in because I already know that within me. So from both sides, you can kind of see it's, kind of like, it lights up and it becomes a gauge, you know, coming to an interview is not like, "Oh, I hope I can impress this person. It's just like..." And other person, if I was that employer, I'd be like, "Oh, shit, like, I want to learn from you, too." Like, that's the kind of engagement I think people, your audience, would probably be amazing in changing how we work in life and how we show up.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:08
Well, I think you made such a great point, too, like, when you're grounded in yourself, and all of those ways that you had mentioned, when you're in that interview type situation or that type of conversation. It's not about "oh, my goodness, how can I impress this person so that I get hired" instead, it becomes much more of a real partnership type of conversation has been my experience. But it doesn't happen without that work. And it doesn't happen without that understanding. You can't just like fake that conversation.

Jenn Lim 27:34
Right, exactly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:36
Not well, at least.

Jenn Lim 27:37
Not well. And it shows, I mean, you know, and then some people are naturally more introverted and all that. But, I think that if that other person, like if that person that's looking to interview you or interviewing you doesn't see your authenticity, and how genuine you're being about things that matter, then it's kind of like, well, you've benefited from that, because you automatically know this is not going to be a good fit anyway. Because who wants to show up to that every day at work. So it is a very, like exchange a partnership, as you said, of people and personalities, and what it means to be heard and be able to do therefore good work and progress and be connected and feel both ends are being, like, are benefiting from that social contract, but in a work relationship.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:25
So I have two more questions. Let's be honest, I really have like 72 more questions, but we only have time for maybe two more so. So...

Jenn Lim 28:36
If you want to call me at midnight, Scott, we can talk then.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:39
Fair enough. Careful what you wish for. You might get that midnight call. The hardest of the hitting questions first. How often these days do you do spontaneous dance parties? Like I've been seeing that on various forms of your bio for like 10 years. So how often does that happen nowadays?

Jenn Lim 28:57
Well, right now if you're down to do one.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:00
Oh, we can... I wish I would have, like, thought to like queue up some music or something. I'm looking around, the same, we can just do it without music like...

Jenn Lim 29:07
Yep, we can. Silent dance party.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:10
Silent dance party.

Jenn Lim 29:12
I tried to get, well, I don't try because it's spontaneous. But it happens. Once a day, ideally more.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:20
Ideally more. That's fantastic. So here's my other actual question, too, well, you know, I'll preface this a little bit too. We have many people in various leadership roles in all kinds of organizations listening, and our audience. And also, many of these same people are thinking about their career and their life for themselves. So I would love to ask, you know, what advice would you give them on two different fronts? Thinking about someone who is potentially going to make a career change and wanting to find the type of situation where they can be much more of themselves at work and then simultaneously, on the other side of that, too, where they are potentially having an impact on an organization to allow that and enable that and make that a part of reality.

Jenn Lim 30:08
Yeah, I love that question. Because I think most of the world is going through right now.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:14
It has various stages of that.

Jenn Lim 30:15
Yeah. So it's like, kind of, one on his way out, and people aren't showing up to work saying, like, "No, I don't think I need that anymore." So it's really interesting, because the conundrum is you would have thought that everyone's like, chomping at the bit to get a job again, but people are like, "Wait, I don't think so. Like, that doesn't fit my needs of raising my child, or like, the work hours are not good." You know, there's an interesting play going on between who, like, where the scale is between corporate and basically being human being and wanting to work. So I think two things come to mind. One of them is, as you're thinking about these career shifts, not to sound like a broken record, purpose or values, just do those exercises really quick and, like, root yourself in that. It's actually really eye opening. Most people think they know, though, but when they do the exercise, they're like, "Oh, wait, I didn't prioritize that, right?" And then the next thing is, as you're entertaining these different kinds of scenarios, there's two questions I would ask in these scenarios, like, "What's in it for me? What's in it for all?" And when you're able to answer both of those questions, then you have a very clear answer to, wait, because if your purpose values is grounded, then you understand "Okay, this is what's in it for me. And then by answering what's in it for all, then that answers more of that purpose", you know, that 'we thing' instead of the 'me thing' of, what does it serve other people? What does it serve customers? What does it serve society? All that stuff. So when you have those two questions in mind as you go through these changes, and it lights you up, because "Oh, wow, it actually serves my purpose and serves like I want to do something great for society and community. But it also serves me too, because I know I need XY and Z things because that's what I believe in." So that's sort of a simple, like, kind of, mental model to think through and doing this shifts. The other thing I would remind, and it's also a big part of like, why I wrote the book. I use this metaphor about greenhouses. And we, you know, it's kind of like when you're in plane, I don't know, when's the last time you were in plane, but you know, and...

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:12
I just got back from a month-long trip. So we took a bunch of different planes. So...

Jenn Lim 32:15
Oh, awesome. So you remember that routine of COVID. So you know, the oxygen masks that fall like that whole thing. We're so used to hearing that, like, put yours on first before putting on any walls, but we don't really practice that in life. So the greenhouse metaphor is basically, moreso, wanting to help, you know, we've tried to grow and nurture other greenhouses, but sometimes we forget to tender. So I think that's a big thing about considering these shifts is to have those two things in coexistence, making sure that you tend your own greenhouse, knowing that you want to grow and nurture others as well. And it could be anyone like me, your friends, your family, your kids, you know, all of the above global society, whatever it is, change the world, all these things fit in this society in the realm of the other greenhouse, just make sure you're tending your own as you're doing that for others.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:04
I very, very much appreciate that. And the book that you so kindly wrote in preparation for this interview is "Beyond Happiness". And I really enjoyed it immensely. And I want to hear something that struck me, I actually copied and pasted and wrote it down. And I thought it was really, really great. You had written someplace in there, I can't remember what chapter it was in. But "when life gives us lemons, companies in survival mode, just pass out the lemons until they run out. And if they're thinking slightly longer term, they'll actually build a lemonade stand, but if they're adapting and thriving, they'll use the seeds to plant more lemon trees, so everyone can have a stand of their own." And I just thought that was so useful as, not just a way to think about part of what you're talking about in the book, but just as a mantra for how this whole set of topics that we've been discussing works. So I really appreciate that. And I will probably quote that in the future someplace else, 'cause I love it. Thank you for the conversation. I really appreciate it. I, selfishly, you have been on a mental list of mine of people who, you know, 10 years ago, I'm like, "I'm would love to get to know her. She seems fantastic." And I will say that you are just as delightful to talked to as I had hoped, and maybe even more so 10 years ago. So I appreciate it.

Jenn Lim 34:20
Thank you. Maybe it takes that 10 year incubation for it to happen, but...

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:24
You know, that could be. But I'll take it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:29
Hey, many of the stories that you've heard on the podcast are from listeners that have decided that they wanted to take action and taking the first step of having a conversation with our team to try and figure out how we can help. And if you want to implement what you have heard, and you want to completely change your life and your career, then let's figure out how we can help. So here's what I would suggest, just open your phone right now and open your email app. And I'm going to give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com, just email me and put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And then when you do that, I'll introduce you to the right person on our team. And you can have a conversation with us, we'll try and understand your goals and what you want to accomplish in your career no matter where you're at. And we can figure out the very best way that we can help you and your situation. So open up right now and send me an email with 'Conversation' in the subject line scott@happentoyourcareer.com.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:41
One of the biggest things that we hear again, and again, and again, as we have conversations with people all over the world, not just here in the US, but every place across the globe is the issue of time. Time, because it takes a large amount of time to do just a normal career pivot, normal career change, let alone for the types of career changes that we've discussed on this podcast again, and again, and again, where you're really maximizing for what you want out of life, what you want out of your career, and want to be able to, you know, grow and show up in the ways that you want to, that's a different type of career change. And as it turns out, that also has a tendency to take more time. And the reason this becomes a question is because, where are you going to get all this time? Where is that going to come from? And that is... that's real, it's a real challenge. So we thought, well, hey, this is something we are helping people reconcile with every single day. So why not do a podcast episode about it? We do this for ourselves, when I say ourselves, I'm talking about our entire team. And we also do this for our clients across the globe. So I have with me today, our Director of Client Success, Phillip Migyanko. You've heard him on the podcast many times before, but he's back today to discuss, how do you not save time, although we're gonna talk about that too. But how do you even create time in some ways for yourself to be able to divert towards career change, or anything else that might be even more important in your life too. All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

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When Your Role No Longer Fits: How To Uncover Your Strengths To Make A Dramatic Change

on this episode

Have you ever had a role that had one focus and then morphed into something else over time? The role fits your resume and past experience, but when you realize that it doesn’t really fit you and your strengths any longer, what do you do? 

In less than 2 years, Nick’s customer service role began to change to be more of a sales role – which did not fit him. He explains how he went from uncovering his strengths, to making connections and having conversations to learn what roles could fit him, and finally landing a role that actually plays to his strengths.

What you’ll learn

  • What you can do when your role no longer fits you
  • How to change to completely different career, without starting all over again
  • The importance of informational interviews to find out what the possible ideal roles are for you
  • How identifying your strengths and wants, can give you clarity and control

Success Stories

“It’s hard to find something that fits, that’s why so many people change careers. When I finally understood my strengths and how I could apply them it all made sense. It just made it easier to see what types of jobs and roles would fit me. In my new career I get to do the marketing that I love with a company I’m excited about.”

Kirby Verceles, Sales & Marketing Director

I’ve been offered the job! It was great having the opportunity to speak with you prior to my interview. It enabled me to highlight my strengths as part of the conversation and I was able to be clear about my enthusiasm for opportunities to be proactive versus reactive. I also highlighted my desire to provide positive individual experiences. Our discussion not only assisted me in the interview but it also helped to increase my confidence!

Bree Hunter, Project Officer, Australia

All the stars aligned and I ended up finding the right thing at the right place at the right time, and it was you guys! Everything that you said was speaking to me and the things that you had done in the job that you had transitioned out of and into. Also how finding work that you love is your passion for people! Honestly, it was you Scott, I mean, the way that you talked about it, how passionate you were, I was like, there's no way he's gonna put out a faulty product. So I'm gonna try it, you know… I recommend you to all my friends, you know, even if they don't realize that they're looking for a new job, I'm like this is the first step, let's do this! Even if you maybe don't move out of this career. This is going to help!

Maggie Romanovich, Director of Learning and Development, United States/Canada

Scott has been a tremendous help in bringing focus to my business. Scott enlightened my path towards concentrating on my strengths and doing what I love. I recommend Scott Anthony Barlow to anyone who wants clarity about what they should be doing, and the next step to make your business successful.

Jody Maberry, Began Copywriting & Marketing Business, United States/Canada

Nick Neves 00:01

I've kind of honed in on accounting and really matched up with a lot of my strengths. You know, I like the structure, I like working with numbers, all that stuff, you know, I like routine. So going off of that, I trust in my strengths and saying, "Okay, I think this is a good place to start" and kind of pursue that. That was a main role that I was really looking at. As I went along, I realized I had to do a slight pivot.

Introduction 00:26

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:50

A long time ago, I used to work for Target. And I did Human Resource Management and Leadership for Target. And it was a pretty wonderful opportunity. I loved the company, they took great care of me, much of the leadership training that I got and have to this day, came from Target putting time and money and effort into me. So I'm forever appreciative of that. Also, at the same time, I was working for them. And they decided that they wanted to move their HR that supported stores more and more and more into the stores and more into the standard retail environment. Now, that was exactly the right decision for them. But it really wasn't that great for me, to be honest. And that's something that I have seen over and over and over again, where people go through, they get a job, it's amazing opportunity. And then the company changes or evolves into something else. And it's no longer amazing. It's not even awesome. It's the opposite of that. That happens.

Nick Neves 02:10

I was in a job working in customer success, which for those who don't know, it's kind of like customer support, with like a little bit of sales mixed in. And I was doing this job, it was kind of morphing more into a sales role. There's a lot of pressure to kind of move into, like a sales type role, which is just not for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:28

That's Nick. In less than two years[a], his Customer Success role began to change to, well, being almost all a sales role. And as it began to uncover his strengths and define what he really wanted in life, he knew that he had to make a change. But how do you move from a role that's no longer ideal to one that actually uses your strengths? Alright, well, spoiler alert, Nick does a really nice job of this. And as you heard in the introduction, he actually transitions to accounting. And I want you to listen for how that took place, how that actually happened. But let's start out with Nick explaining here, how he went from uncovering the strengths to making connections and having conversations to learn what roles could fit him and finally, landing in a role that does play to his strengths.

Nick Neves 03:18

I was in a job working in customer success, which for those who don't know, it's kind of like customer support, with like a little bit of sales mixed in. And I was doing this job, it was kind of morphing more into a sales role. There's a lot of pressure to kind of move into, like a sales type role, which is just not for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:35

Why is that? I'm super curious.

Nick Neves 03:37

My own personality, I don't think, you know, I'm more of an introverted kind of behind the scenes, analytical thinker. I like doing more the operational stuff versus, you know, just hammering phones all day, filling your day with talking to people, you know, I didn't want the success of my job to be determined by things that just I didn't want to do, or I wasn't come for with with. That's why I, you know, this isn't sustainable for me. And there was a, you know, a couple other things too, with just the way the company was, the culture, you know, there's a multitude of different reasons, but that was the biggest reason for me, it just did not feel like the right fit. Even it was confirmed with meetings with my manager, kind of yearly reviews and things like that. She's like, "You're a great team player, people love you on the team, but like really need you to be more, you know, like this person" and compared me to like our top salesperson, I'm like, I will never be like that person ever. So I was like, if they want me to be this type of person, then they hire the wrong person. And that I was okay with that. Because at first when I was doing the job, I was... my confidence took it and I definitely, that resonated with, you know, a lot of your previous podcast guests, I heard you talk about that. And I was like, I totally understand, you know, where they're coming from, where you think you're just not doing a good job and all that. And you realize, okay, it's really, you know, this isn't working out and I could totally excel with doing something that's more of a natural fit. So that's where I started, I was in customer success, and then ultimately led me to working in finance so I can kind of get into the transition of that because I know it's kind of complete one.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:01

Well, let me ask you first about that stage where you were in this customer success type role, and clearly it was outside of your, not just comfort zone, but also, in many ways, it is requiring you to be a ton of who you are not and also didn't want to be. But I think as you mentioned, so many people will be in that situation, and they will say, "I should be able to do this or I..." they end up beating up on themselves in one way or another.

Nick Neves 05:31

Exactly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:32

And impacts confidence. So what allowed you to get to the point where you realize that you were okay with it, because I also heard you say, "Hey, I was okay with that at some point." But what took place for you to get to that point where you realize, look, it's just a wrong fit.

Nick Neves 05:45

Yeah, that's a great, you know, great question. And just, you know, put myself back into that scenario, right. And that's exactly how I felt first, I was in the job for maybe two to three years[b], first year, I've definitely beat myself up, you know, thinking I'm not doing a good job here. You know, that feeling continued. But I think the turning point was when I started really sitting down and putting in the time and effort to figure out what why this wasn't a good fit. You know, I took, initially, before I found Happen To Your Career, I took, you know, the Myers Briggs test, which was super helpful. Pairing that with the personality test, the strength test that you guys do as well. And then, you know, I ultimately stumbled upon you guys. And in some of the eight day mini course, and all that stuff that was... that free exercise, kind of, put everything into perspective for me. It made me realize, like, you know, there are strengths and weaknesses to a person. And sometimes it's just a square peg in a round hole, right. And that just slowly, it wasn't like an overnight thing, right? It definitely took some weeks to kind of figure that out. And then, you know, as I continued with the job, like I said, you know, had those meetings with my manager, was telling me, "Why you become this person?" I knew I wasn't going to become that person. So that's when it really clicked for me. And I was just like, "Okay, I should be able to do a different job. And even further along, through the career change bootcamp program, you know, you always have a little bit of doubt here and there as you're going through, right, especially at the beginning, but as I did the interviewing process of other people, in other roles, departments that I was interested in, and I would ask them, like, what does a successful person look like in this role, what personality traits fit a type of person in this role that confirms to me that I am moving in the right direction and looking for the right jobs, and I can be successful and build my confidence back up.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:23

Let me ask you about that just for a little bit of background for everyone else, you know, one of the things that we'll often do is help people design many experiments, where you sometimes are having conversations, and I think that's probably the part that you're referring to, where you're looking at a variety of different roles and trying to confirm that those might be potentially a direction for you. So what were some of those roles that you were looking at, that you were talking to people about at the time? Just curious

Nick Neves 07:51

It started off very broadly, but then eventually got a little more itch. I actually connected with someone else who is in the program, actually, and he worked in accounting previously. And turns out, we had a lot of the same strengths. So I was like, he'd probably be a great person to talk to, get a perspective on, you know, using the job, he has the same strengths, would it be a good fit for me, I kind of honed in on accounting, and really matched up with a lot of my strengths. And I like the structure. I like working with numbers, all that stuff, you know, I like routine. So going off of that I trust in my strengths and saying, "Okay, I think this is a good place to start" and kind of pursued that. That was a main rule that I was really looking at, as I went along, I realized I had to do a slight pivot where, you know, accounting, it's tough to get into if you don't have the degree and all that stuff. So I was kind of hitting roadblocks there. But I was able to find a way to kind of get my foot in the door, almost like a stepping stone into accounting, which is the role man now[c], which is called order operations. It's got a lot of different names in different companies that basically you're the middleman between sales and accounting and finance. So it was great, you know, fit my background working in sales and customer support. But I'm kind of moving away to a different side of the house that I want to move into. You know, so our long winded question probably went off topic there twice.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:03

This is great, because a couple things that aren't always obvious when we talk about these types of transitions, because you've done a great job making this type of pivot. And I think so many people would not even realize that it's possible to make that severe of a change, I'm gonna call that severe for just a second, severe in the best possible way. If your sounds sometimes like a negative word, but I mean, in a really, really positive way that different that almost 180 type of a change. And one of the ways that you have found to do that is by heavily leveraging, not just your strengths, but also your past experiences too. And I think that gets so undervalued as a portion of this process, because I think so many people hear these types of podcasts or they recognize the need to do something different. And then think, well, I need to make this 190 type of change. I'm going to be a scuba diver or something like that. Like it's gonna be that drastic change in one way or another and that tendency is to say, "Okay, I'm going to, like, magic it to happen." And that's not how it works in reality. And in reality, it happens much more like you have done where we are heavily leveraging those things that you're bringing to the table. In this case, you had some amazing experiences in both sales, even though that's not what you wanted to do forever, but also customer success. And also a lot of the pieces that come along with that the skill sets that come along with that, too. And so, one really nice job into. What were you gonna say?

Nick Neves 10:34

Thank you. No, I was just gonna say before I forget, that really reminds me of and I didn't really realize it at the time, like you said, you're making that big change, and you're like, I don't even know if I have the transferable skills, or all that. Number one, I help talking to people to figure out what are the transferable skills, you know. The interview is huge, it was so helpful, just to get a sense of everything, you know, to actually talk to people in the jobs, it makes you realize, okay, you know, if you're just looking at job descriptions all day, you know, it gets kind of just monotonous. And you can kind of hit a wall there. So for me, it was... I was really able to figure out, "Okay, I don't have the accounting background, but I definitely have transferable skills, work with Excel a ton, and I've done process improvements, which is big in that field in my job, that's what I enjoyed doing that. So once you started talking to people, you realize, okay, this is a little more doable than I thought and Mo was beyond helpful in helping me kind of reshape my resume, reshape my cover letters, all that. And I actually ended up getting a lot of... Yeah, sorry, my coach Mo, he, you know, I ended up getting a lot of compliments from people, even if I didn't end up getting the job, they were like, you know, your resume looks like an accounting resume, I'm surprised you haven't had an experience in that field. So that was just a good confirmation there that, you know, I was doing it the right way. And, you know, it ultimately worked out.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:49

That is awesome. I want to dig into a few of those pieces here for just a minute because it did ultimately work out when we're talking about like nine plus months[d] or so of work, to make it ultimately work out. And, you know, you mentioned some of those conversations that you were having very often, you know, when we think about making a change, depending on what people decide, they need is what is most valuable to them, you know what their goal is, and making this change that can often dictate whether you focus on roles first, or whether you focus on organizations or environments first. For you, it was much more about roles. And so you started having some of those conversations. But I'm curious, can you describe a couple of those conversations and what those actually looked like, what led up to them, how you got to chat with a couple of those people and what even talked about during some of those conversations?

Nick Neves 12:39

Going back, I definitely remember struggling with the roles versus organizations debacle. And I thought, well, maybe I could do both, I can look for roles within industries that are interesting to me, you know, I was looking, I'm a big sports fan, you know, I love golf. So there's a couple, you know, golf manufacturing companies and sports manufacturing companies around Boston, I was looking at those. And I ultimately decided that, for me, I think the role was just more important just because maybe it was the nature of the job itself, like with accounting and finance are, kind of, just you're doing accounting and finance in the back office, and it's kind of just that, right? I think if someone was moving into, like, customer success, or something else like that, where you're, kind of, on the front lines of the industry, you might look for companies and put an emphasis on that. So I think it really depends on the role. So for me through conversations with people, it didn't really seem like it was that different industry to industry, I didn't want to move to, like, a massive company. But in terms of, like, the industry, I was like, I'm kind of industry agnostic at this point. I kind of started there, figured that out. And like I said, talking to other people through the informational interviews, you know, kind of opened that up, and even also doing some meetings with Phillip, one of the other coaches, even though he wasn't my assigned coach, he set up what I think were called accountability groups at the time. I don't know if you guys are calling him from different now. But being able to talk to him and other people who were going through the career change process on the call, we were able to bounce ideas back and forth when I would explain to them hey, I'm kind of struggling with this. Do I go with companies roles? Do I focus on industry? So they were able to kind of help me talk through that, ultimately decided that, you know, roles was kind of the way to go for me. So that was another helpful thing too, is to have, not only my coach Mo, but also just the community itself is very helpful.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:26

That's amazing. It makes me really happy for so many different reasons. I think it's probably useful to acknowledge here that this progression, I'm going to call it a progression, is always so much easier when you're looking backwards. You and I were chatting at the very beginning of our conversation, I think before we even hit the record button about how you were trying to get yourself back into the mindset of what life was like, you know, a year ago[e] at this time when you were starting to really think about making this change and starting to really move on that. But it's been a year since that point in time and it was definitely no small amount of work and one of the things that I heard you say earlier was, "Hey, I had a conversation with another person who was working with HTYC. And they had a past background in accounting. And that's what led to me affirming that this could be something that I take a really close look at. And then that led to other conversations that you had where you were taking tidbits away for different types of roles, which led to the next thing, which led to the next thing, which led to the next thing. And ultimately, only then after nine months[f] of breadcrumbs, if you want to call it that, following each of those little bit breadcrumbs led to the actual opportunity. So the question that I wanted to ask you there is, that's a lot of different pieces to be able to make this happen for yourself, and you've done a great job with that. But what were some of the hardest parts of that process for you?

Nick Neves 15:52

I would say what definitely helped me was the whole structure of it, you know, having the modules to go through, you kind of had a look ahead, you knew what to expect, I mean, not totally knew what to expect in terms of the program and what you were going to be working on. So I really liked the structure. So I'd recommend people if you like having that structure, it definitely helps. But the parts where I, you know, it sounds like it was a seamless transition, right. And now I'm here a year later[g] whom I have a new job. But I'd say that, you know, the hardest parts were, you know, like we discussed before, grappling with the... where do I even focus on, do I focus on roles, or focus on industries? Do I focus on companies like, you know, some people might be looking to move and they just don't care about location, that throws a whole nother wrench into everything. So I think the way you guys do it, we're, you know, kind of talked about building that frame, right, and putting the pieces of puzzle together. Another thing too, that was really helpful was building out your kind of life profile, if you will. So you kind of put like parameters around what you're looking for, to make everything kind of less daunting, right. So you kind of have indicators or parameters, you know, of what you want to look for. So you're not casting such a wide net, that you're overwhelmed. So that, at first, it was overwhelming, but it was able to kind of hone in from there. And then, you know, I think a little bit further down the road once, you know, I started interviewing and all of that, that's, you know, you deal with rejection a lot, too. You know, you don't always get, you know, you don't always get... you feel like you found a really good fit. And you made a really good case of why you should, you know, why you're able to make this change and why you fit in the know, you know, you might not have the traditional background and you do everything you can and you might not get the job. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:31

Were there an example of where that happened for you?

Nick Neves 17:33

Yeah, a couple thoughts, you know, there was kind of some entry level accounting jobs where, you know, I was able to network my way into those jobs. So way more effective, I think, than just going on job boards, right. So I was like, I already have and in here[h]. And that person, whether they're just being polite, or whatever, maybe they think you're a great fit, and they pass along your resume, you know, I worked with my coach Mo, super helpful in helping me build my resume, tailor it to each and every job that I was doing, tailoring my interview prep and my cover letters and all that stuff. That's all super prepared, and very confident that I would at least get a call back, you know, for a lot of the jobs, right? A lot of them I did, which, looking back, it's like, well, you're moving into a totally new field where you don't have accounting degrees and all that stuff. So you know, I get it, but I'm...

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:22

Well, I think that there's another element there too. I would argue that that actually worked out so much better for you. Even the rejection sucks, like that is a... where you ended up, at least from the outside looking in, appears to be a far better match than starting in, you know, beginning accounting, because you bring a lot more to the table, you have so much more experience and skill sets than just starting from the beginning. So...

Nick Neves 18:48

Yeah, absolutely.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:49

That actually is allowing the process to work even though it doesn't always feel good in the moment.

Nick Neves 18:54

Yeah, and I think at the time, I don't even know the job and now was a job. So, you know, I was really just searching for kind of those entry level accounting jobs, like, maybe I'll have to take a pay cut, I really don't want to. There's other kind of entry level accounting jobs that a lot of people were frequently recommending, you know, accounts payable, accounts receivable, just stuff like that. And I was like, I would be willing to kind of grind it out and do those jobs. But it's part of my life profile, if you will, was that I wanted to be making the same amount of money or more, which is kind of, you know, if you're going to put in the effort to go through this whole career change process, you want to be able to have that kind of same salary. So especially in Boston, where things are pricey. Sorry, I'm losing my train of thought here. But yeah, I didn't even know that was a job. Through my conversations with people, I found out that, hey, this could be a good fit to kind of make that transition. So again, like talking to people and networking, even though it can be uncomfortable at times, people were way friendlier than I was expecting even just random people on one day and I was stalking so many people on LinkedIn, sending so many messages, and a lot of people did respond were super helpful, you know, I'd never met them before. We want to jump on the phone and, you know, being able to do all that while working remotely was definitely helpful. But yeah, definitely recommend reaching out to people as much as you can, if you're going through the process.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:09

What did you find was very effective for you personally, which might not be effective for everybody. But in your situation, what did you find was really effective as you were reaching out to people and having those conversations, particularly in the conversations themselves, what advice would you give people that worked well for you?

Nick Neves 20:31

Yeah, I would say, at first, it's... especially when you're finding companies, whether there are open jobs that you want to apply to, your like, you're very excited to try and get your foot in the door and apply those right away, right. And I did a bad job of this at first where I was reaching out to people saying, like, "Hey, I saw there's an open job here, I'm interested in it. Would love to kind of learn more about it." That just reeks of like, hey, like, get this job for me, right. But when I was reaching out to people, and this was another testament to Mo, he was really kind of nudged me in the right direction here, where he was saying, you know, treat him more as like, I want to learn about your experience, and really just have a conversation. That people are more willing to open up and talk about that than just help a random person who's trying to use them and wants to just get a job. I think eventually, the conversation ultimately kind of leads that way, which is nice. But it shouldn't start that way, especially in the beginning, when I really was just doing informational interviews, just to learn about different jobs, you, kind of, you're building your network as you go anyway. So you can always go back to those people to see openings, it makes it a little easier to reach out and apply to those jobs.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:34

That's so interesting, the point that you made about if you are just pursuing a job, often that is a turn off, where if you are genuinely interested in the other person to learn about it, then that very often leads to opportunities. The hard part about that, though, I think, for so many people is you can't fake that. Like when you get into that conversation, like everyone has a bowl, you know, we've got like bs meters that are going to go off like crazy, it's like, "This dude just wants a job like, I'm done with this."

Nick Neves 22:08

Yeah, I think that you're right, that is a tough thing to kind of fake. For me, I was just enjoying the process, and really just enjoying talking to people and everyone had a different perspective on things. And I always learned something from every conversation that I had. So for me, I was excited to talk these people, and great if I could steer it in the direction I want to go in all the better. But you know, I think at the very least you still learn some things that you can pick up along the way. So it's, kind of, that was able to help me kind of get in that mindset.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:36

Very cool. Okay, so let me ask you this, if you had to go back and make this change again, is there anything that you would do differently in the process for yourself?

Nick Neves 22:49

Oh, that's a good question. I'm not totally sure. Maybe at the time when I was, kind of, looking for different roles, different opportunities, like maybe I left some different jobs or roles that are on the table, that could have been a really good fit, I kind of you know, I wanted to become laser focused on one role. And that's just me personally. So I was like, okay, accounting looks good, it may not be perfect, but I think it matches a lot of the skill sets and strengths that I have, it matches my life profile, like I just checked all the boxes, like, I'm just gonna go with it and look for this job. Like some people, maybe you can look at multiple different roles or job fields at once. So maybe I left something that was a really good fit. And maybe I just didn't see it. But I remember having this conversation with my coach, too, at the time where I was worried about missing something. And eventually, you just got to move forward with something, right? You can't just have paralysis by analysis, which is definitely something that I suffer from at times. So I had to realize that and that's another opportunity where my coach helped me out, you know, maybe that's a regret. But also, I wouldn't get too bogged down by that stuff, because that could really stonewall your efforts to move forward.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:58

What do you feel like are and now that we're on the other end of this, and you have different perspective, because a year ago[i], at this time, we had talked about you were in probably far less healthy place mentally, because the role and what was expected of you was such a not great fit, such opposite of alignment in some very specific ways. But now that you are in a better fit, what would you describe as the differences for people?

Nick Neves 24:31

The biggest difference is, if this job really matches, you know, what I'm looking for in a working environment. You know, I don't want to be inundated with meetings all day and you know, having to be on all the time socially. Like I said, I'm more of an introverted person. So for me kind of being heads down in your work, doing kind of all the behind the scenes work is really what I preferred. So that's a big change and being able to, you know, the things that I felt like I was good at just wasn't being recognized my own job. Like I said, I was doing some process improvements and things like that just to kind of boost efficiency and all that. And there was like an operational side of the job. And then it was a client facing side of the job. And I really gravitated towards the operational side and felt like I did a good job of improving that part of the job and all that, but that wasn't being recognized as vital to the job or bringing success to it. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:21

It sounds like the emphasis was on the client facing side that the... and that's really what that organization or that set of people needed in one way or another.

Nick Neves 25:29

Exactly. And now I'm able to kind of focus on those strengths with my new job. I didn't know all this stuff at the time, but definitely taking the strengths tests and all that stuff really helped me... 'cuz you think you really know what you're good at, and maybe what you don't like and all that. But taking the strength test through you guys really helped me put everything into perspective and put it into words. And, you know, one thing that I really enjoyed about the process was you take the strength test, and then you go through and kind of highlight things that stands out to you. So that's really what helped me hone in on accounting in the first place is highlighting some of the words like reliability, routine, all these different things that stood out to me, like, you know, I enjoy that aspect of the job. And I feel like I'd be good at it. That was very helpful. Because again, that's also kind of a daunting thing, too, is like, okay, now I have this strength stats, but it's like not spitting out a job for me, right, I gotta go ahead and kind of match that to what to look for. So that process was super helpful too.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:21

You know, what's really interesting, though, is a year later, you can now easily articulate what it is that you need. And I think that's such a cool thing, because you're going to be able to continue to build on that for the rest of your life. Where, you know, I asked you and just off the cuff at the beginning of this, you're like, "Well, you know, here's what I wasn't getting, here's now what I need, I needed this routine, I am more of an introvert and I need ABCD and E" and you can just rattle that off now. And I think that that is a testament, that doesn't just happen through the process. Yes, we have that built into our particular process for career change. However, it takes a lot of work from you, and understanding about yourself to be able to get to the point where now your later, it's just like, "Oh, yeah! Obviously, here's what I need: boom, boom, boom, boom, boom." So that's super cool, because I know what goes into that. But I think out there that you made the point of is, you first have to be able to do that and be able to recognize it in a way that you can articulate it to other people or the outside world. Otherwise, the opportunities that come much later on just simply don't happen. If you don't get to step one, you don't get step seven.

Nick Neves 27:29

Yeah, for sure. It wasn't like you said, it wasn't an overnight thing. It definitely took some practice on my part, some kind of discipline to put in the time and work to figure all this stuff out. Determine, you know, be able to articulate it the way where I can now, and again, Mo is super helpful going through almost like roleplay, if you will, where you can kind of talk through what's so bad at it at first, but put into practice with his help. And, you know, with the structured strength tests, and you know, profiles and modules that you guys have, it was just helpful to, kind of, help me frame it for myself, too. So I would say, it was a combination of everything really, that was able to get me to where I'm at.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:09

Well, I am so glad to hear it. And, you know, before we finish up here, is there any other parting words of either wisdom or advice that you'd like to share with someone who is finding themselves back in that situation that you were in a year ago? Or like, okay, clearly, I need to make a change. Clearly, this is not a great fit. But what the heck do I do about it from here? What would you tell that person who's in that place right now?

Nick Neves 28:37

Yeah, I would say, you know, thinking back to about a year ago[j], when I was very unhappy in my job and everything, you know, you have to make a change, but you're not really sure what direction to move in. And maybe you do have a sense of what direction you want to move in. But it's just not really sure how to get there. For me, like I said, I really like the structure of everything. So that was super helpful, but it's not so structured, where it's like, you know, someone likes to kind of do things at their own pace and all that, I think it's very flexible. And I know you guys would get to work with people's different styles and customizing things, the way people work. So that's great. So that was, you know, a big thing for me. And even if I think this would be really helpful for someone who's looking to make even more of a drastic change, like, if you're looking to make some, you know, if you're looking to move into a very niche job, that it's difficult to kind of get into that role, because I know talking with some other people on the program, they were looking for, like very niche specific jobs in certain industries. That's one, you know, a coach would be super helpful. And it was... even still, helpful for me who was just still in the corporate world, kind of, you know, making a pivot, but nothing like super drastic. So I would say no matter what boat you're in, really, I think having the help and guidance is helpful, right? Have the community to fall back on, bounce ideas off of people. All that is just, it was all very helpful in the end. So I would say those are the kind of big takeaways for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:59

Nick, thank you for taking the time and making the time, I really appreciate it. And I told you at the beginning of this, but super fun for me to get to have this conversation with you. I know you did all this work, and you know, and Mo was keeping me posted. But I still didn't get to hear the whole story, necessarily. So I appreciate you coming and sharing it, not just with me, but with everybody else too.

Nick Neves 30:20

More thank you and everyone else, Mo, Phillip, everyone who I worked with. Thanks for giving me opportunity to share my perspective and story. I know, the podcast was huge for me for, you know, getting the... first off, discovered you guys, but also kind of getting motivated. So hopefully, if I could share my story and help other people, that'd be an honor. Thanks again.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:41

Hey, many of the stories that you've heard on the podcast are from listeners that have decided that they wanted to take action and taking the first step of having a conversation with our team to try and figure out how we can help. And if you want to implement what you have heard, and you want to completely change your life and your career, then let's figure out how we can help. So here's what I would suggest, just open your phone right now and open your email app. And I'm going to give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com, just email me and put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And then when you do that, I'll introduce you to the right person on our team. And you can have a conversation with us, we'll try and understand your goals and what you want to accomplish in your career no matter where you're at. And we can figure out the very best way that we can help you and your situation. So open up right now and send me an email with 'Conversation' in the subject line scott@happentoyourcareer.com.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:52

People make career changes all the time. That's a normal thing. Unfortunately, many of those career changes are not great moves. In reality, what we find when we meet up with so many people after they've made a career change is that they're just running from portion of their past job, whether it's a bad boss, a toxic environment, trying to raise their salary, trying to lower the amount of stress and responsibility, when instead, they should be figuring out what they really actually want. And then run towards that. So what happens if you've had that situation? What happens if you have made a career change only to realize that your previous career actually fit you much better? Technology and culture can advance or it can change quickly. How do you pivot back to your previous career path after some time has passed? And make it even better?

Louie Rankin 32:53

After I really put my mind to "Okay, what do I want to do, you know, for the next several years[k], if not till the end of my career and that's, you know, what I really enjoyed?" I just needed to, kind of, get out of my mindset that I was for so many years, and I think actually stepping out of the role in a three union and then coming back, I have kind of a new outlook on things.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:11

That's Louie. He went to college for medical imaging, he spent years then afterwards working in the 3D imaging. And, as you might imagine, he felt like he was the one who like needed a career change. But once he made that change, he quickly realized that his health and his family life were being very negatively affected. Listen, as he shares why he changed careers, from medical imaging into IT and the struggles that he faced when he made that change. And most importantly, take a listen further in the episode to how he pivoted back into the pieces he loved most from his previous career, ultimately leading him to much more happiness more often in both career and the other areas of his life. All that and plenty more next week[l] right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically. Even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

[a][02:30] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[b][05:54] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

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[c][08:44] inaudible @kathy@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Kathy Wilkes_

[d][11:58] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[e][14:49] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[f][15:31] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[g][16:16] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[h][17:47] inaudible @kathy@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Kathy Wilkes_

[i][24:05] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[j][28:40] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[k][32:57] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

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[l][34:03] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

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Ready for Career Happiness?

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Negotiating Career Happiness: Getting The Raise You Want Without Changing Companies

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You know the value you bring to your organization, and you really want to be paid more than what you’re currently making.

But the real question is, how do you go about asking for it? How do you even begin? And how do you do that in a way that is going to actually get you what you want?

Justin is a technical engineer who found himself in this position. He was able to stay with the company he loved and negotiated the raise… more than the amount that he thought he would actually get.

What you’ll learn

  • The sleazy tactic you should avoid when negotiating (plus it’s more work)
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  • The importance of understanding what you really want and how that ties into your role and compensation
  • How to push past your comfort zone to ask for the right compensation

Success Stories

I greatly appreciate your help in bringing this along because I wouldn't have had the confidence to negotiate and to be where I am today without the help of a lot of other people. You played a really significant role in it. I'm not going to be that everyday person that hates my job, I'm going to stretch and I'm going to aspire to be better and I'm not going to make that everyday salary. Thank you Scott for putting this out there for all the people that are trying to do a little bit better and trying to go a little bit farther. This is awesome. I love this. This thing that you do, the whole HTYC thing, from the paperwork all the way down to the podcast and just helping people understand that there is success out there and it is attainable but you've got to work for it.

Jerrad Shivers, Market Manager, United States/Canada

I have worked my entire career in behemoth companies (Hershey, Kraft, Pepsi), but I never felt like my creativity could really be stretched. I was often told I have great ideas but there was no way they would happen. So I found myself really discouraged and wanting a more challenging, creative career. And to top it off, I’m making almost $40,000 more a year. I certainly don’t expect that kind of increase every time I make a career move, but I knew my skill value and what I bring to the table. I held my own and negotiated. Now my salary is on par with my male colleagues.

Julie Laughter , Senior Manager, Sustainability

I was able to negotiate a higher salary, accepted the offer and I can not be happier! You truly helped make this process as painless as possible! I would (and will) recommend your services to anyone and everyone looking for a new job (or current job pay raise).

Kevin Larsen, Manager of Maintenance, United States/Canada

Justin 00:01
About four years in, I essentially like went to my boss and kind of like, with no coaching or anything like with my tail kind of between my legs, like just kind of like, I think I've done a good job. And you know, and I think I got like 2 or 3% raise on top of what I normally get, which was great, you know, but it still wasn't really this big event where it was like you're changing jobs and a 20% raise or 30%, or whatever.

Introduction 00:38
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:03
Here's something you may have experienced before. You know, you bring value to your organization. You also know, you'd really like to be paid much more than what you're currently making. But the real question is, how do you go about asking for it? How do you begin? How do you do it in a way that is actually going to allow you to get what you want?

Justin 01:25
Overall, I think it'll ultimately turn into about a 20% raise over the next few years. So salary wise, it was about a 12% raise. And then, you know, my other forms of compensation will roll in over the next few years. And that'll be another, you know, 8 or 9%. So it's really well worth the effort.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:47
That's Justin. He's a technical engineer, who came to us for help, when he really wanted to negotiate a raise with his company, he'd been approached by recruiters with other companies, but really just wanted to stay with the same organization he was at. He didn't want to make a transition. It's just that, he knew that if he went someplace else, he could make so much more. So this was, as you might imagine, quite a predicament. So you're going to hear Justin, he's going to tell us a little bit about his career trajectory. But I want you to listen for what he did to be able to stay with the company that he really wanted to be at, and make the amount of money that he wanted to have, which, and he did by negotiating his salary, renegotiatinghis salary, right, he got a raise. Actually, it also happened to be more than the amount that he thought he even wanted.

Justin 02:38
So I have been with the company I've worked at for almost 10 years. And I've changed jobs twice before that, you know, so I work somewhere for two years. And then I worked somewhere for about four years, and now I've been here for 10 years. And normally, those events where you have the large pay increase are, when you have two companies that are sort of fighting over you, you know, that's when you see these big 10, 20% pay increases. And after 10 years, I kind of felt like, hey, like, this is really time for me to look into this, but I don't really want to change jobs, I'm pretty happy where I'm at. But I know, you know, if I went and found another job, I might get a pay increase. And I had already done that once at my current job about four years in, I essentially like went to my boss and kind of like, with no coaching or anything like with my tail kind of between my legs, like just kind of like, I think I've done a good job. And you know, and I think I got like 2 or 3% raise on top of what I normally get, which was great, you know, but it still wasn't really this big event where it was like you're changing jobs and a 20% raise or 30%, or whatever. And I was contacted by a recruiter about another local job a few months before, I contacted you guys. And we kind of went down the path of talking about the job, and talking about, you know, the pay and the benefits. And I guess for a little bit more backstory, like I have a pretty good pay and compensation package for where I live. Like it's normally recruiters will come talk to me and then I'll tell them, "What it would take to get me to leave?" And they're like, "Oh, we can't touch that." So it's not like, you know, I was underpaid going into this broad process. Just that there are a whole lot of people in the area that do what I do and I knew that I could probably make more if I had another job offer. So while talking to the recruiter, I was like, well, I'll go interview, I'll go down this route. But in the back of my head, I was like, I don't really want this job, like, I really just want a job offer so I can go in and renegotiate with my current job, and that kind of led me down the path of all the things you think about, like, is this the right way to do this? Like, are they going to look at me different? What if they just say, "Okay, thank you. Like, you know, we're not going to renegotiate." Then I have to say, "Oh, well, I was just kidding anyway."

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:42
Sorry, April Fool's.

Justin 05:44
So that kind of prompted me to contact you guys, you know, and I think I kicked it off with just an email, you know, because I listened to the podcast before. And it's like, hey, like, here's my situation. Like, I have a recruiter that's talking to me, you know, the job is interesting, I wouldn't be upset if I ended up doing it, you know, after 10 years would be nice for a change. But at the same time, I'm pretty comfortable where I'm at, really, I just want a good reason to renegotiate. Then we kind of went through all the ways we can handle that and ended up not pursuing the recruiter more. And...

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:25
Let me ask you about that part. I think, as I remember, some of the email exchanges you had with myself and our team. And one of the things that you were, I'll say, hesitant about is most of the time, you know, with the exception of this one recruiter, most of the time, you had gotten the response of, "wow, we can't even touch that" what you said earlier, right. And it seemed like that colored a little bit of whether or not this type of renegotiation was even possible. So tell me a little bit about how that went in your head? And what were some of your thoughts about that?

Justin 07:02
Yeah, well, it's interesting, because, you know, I work at a company that is pretty healthy financially, like they could afford to pay me whatever they wanted to pay me essentially. And so that's where I kind of came up with the thought of, okay, well, I would be hard to replace in this area, it wouldn't be impossible, but it takes them a while to find somebody and also bring them up to speed with you know, nearly a decade's experience and knowledge and everything. That's pretty valuable in any industry, especially in an industry, like, where the turnaround seems to be a lot, you know, most tech jobs, you see people, you know, I've looked at resumes, and people move around a lot, like, two to three years is like max, people ever stay somewhere.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:59
You feel like a dinosaur if you stay three and a half years.

Justin 08:02
Right, that's what it seems like. And which is crazy to me, because, you know, it seems like just the first year is just trying to figure out how the heck everything works. And then the second year is just trying to implement that. And then after that, you can finally start to really contribute. But you know, my background is both hardware and software, and like, really, really low level like firmware, which not a whole lot of people do all of those. So normally, you have to have a hardware guy who designs things, and then you have to have the software or the firmware guy who sort of makes the pins, do what they're supposed to do. And those two people have to work really closely to make things happen. And to have one person that sort of understands both worlds really well and can kind of leverage little tricks on one side that the other side might not see, you know, that's, that's really valuable if you need it. It's not something that every company needs, but if you're developing, you know, there's really like high tech products, then that's definitely like something that's worth, you know, keeping that person around.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:23
Absolutely. And it seems like there were a couple elements here that created a lot of value for the organization. And I almost look at this every time we are helping someone negotiate in any situation, we're looking at what are the value creators or what are the assets here? What are the things that the organization would not want to give up? And whether someone's just starting a new role or whether they've been in a role. And in your case, I think, you know, what stood out to me as we initially talked to you was that you already had a great relationship with your boss and your boss's boss and even your boss's boss's boss. And those were already in existence and solid, you already had a track record of performance. In your case, it was longer than most, because you'd been with the company for a while. But you know, that's something else that has to be there for this to work. It's almost like a prerequisite for everything else to happen afterwards. And you did such a great job with those two pieces, that I knew that for you, it would be very possible to have these types of conversations that would lead to some of your goals with changing your salary without having to go and as you said, you know, go get the other job.

Justin 10:37
Yeah, so my long term goal is to retire early. So hopefully, in you know, six or eight years, old saved enough money to just sort of draw, you know, what they call a 4% role and live a life where I'm not sort of chained to my desk, and I can work if I want to work and not work if I don't want to work. But just being the, I'm sort of a third of the way down this path, I've got a little bit of money saved up, one of the terms that people use is F you money. So it's sort of the, it's different for everybody. But you know, for me right now, you know, I have enough money to where if they just fired me today, I could probably be okay for two or three years. And, you know, that's not really what I want to do. But having that sort of in my back pocket really helped I feel like because I'm not fearful of losing my job. Like, if I lost my job, I know, I would be okay, I would you know, I would find another job. At some point, even if it took me a year, like I would be financially okay. And that was really powerful, because I feel like a lot of people sort of put a lot of weight on their job. And if they don't have good savings, then they take the wrong attitude, I guess, with their employer, they're very thankful to have their employer there. And they're not really looking at it from the opposite end of like, my employer should be really thankful for having me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:14
I think it's so hard to think about it that way for many people, but two things that you, maybe three things actually that you called out, I think are really almost critical in this type of situation. One thing that I can't agree with more that people don't really think about or spend a lot of time talking about is that if you have done a great job, saving any kind of emergency money, whether you call it F you money or anything else, and you have any kind of cash, that causes you to make different decisions, it causes you to take, well, I wouldn't even call what you I mean, there is some risk to what you did, no doubt. However, it causes you to be able to make different decisions and assess risk differently, which I think is something that because you had done such a great job, putting, you know, putting money away and taking care of yourself financially caused you to be able to make different types of decisions and look at things differently. But the other piece, too, is you did a really great job with being able to take an otherwise great situation, qnd recognize that there is opportunity to do something different and begin to even question that and having that mindset that you mentioned, where it's like, "Hey, they're lucky to have me in this case." I think that's really very, very helpful to begin to question what might happen differently. So nice job on one hand, and then two, I know we're gonna get in talk about like, what actually happened, but I think those are two pieces that allowed everything else to happen, that are undervalued when people look at this.

Justin 14:07
Yeah. And like I said, like, probably about four or five years ago, I went in and asked for a raise, I mean, that my heart was pounding. I was nervous. And, you know, this was much different because I was prepared. And I was prepared for anything. Like if they were, you know, if I didn't get the response I wanted, or if they just said, "You know what, you know, we don't think you were doing as well as you thought you were doing. Like you're fired." I was prepared for any of that. And I guess not removing the fear of failing was the really key and all this. Just because, you know, it wasn't really the case where if I did fail, then well, you know, I'd lose my house and my car, you know, my kids wouldn't be able to go to college. And you know, it would be a little setback. But, you know, I knew I was prepared and ready for anything.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:11
And this is so interesting, because I think that in most of these cases where we've worked with people, and then on one end or the other, or in cases where I've gone and done this myself, or members of our team have gone and done this, and we're in the firsthand, you know, sitting in the chair, it's so rare that that is going to happen, what you just described, about, "Hey, I'm gonna go in and ask. And they're just gonna say no, and on top of no, they're going to remove opportunities for me, like my job." Like that is something that just rarely rarely happens. And you'd have to, after really, really ask in an offensive way, or for something terrible to be going on at the organization at the same time or in your boss's life for it to result in that it's just so unlikely. That's it. Still possible in that tiny little bit of possibility.

Justin 16:06
But people, like I know people who, you know what I've mentioned, I'm going to, you know, ask for a raise or whatever, oh, like, why would you ever try to rock the boat? And, you know, just human psychologies is interesting because if you're not prepared for that emergency, then it always feels like it is just depending you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:33
So that's really interesting. It sounds like as you were having conversations about that, you got some responses, like, "oh, my goodness, why would you rock the boat?" Did you get any other types of responses as you were talking with others about your plans to ask for a raise or renegotiate?

Justin 16:50
Yeah, I mean, I had gotten responses all over. I mean, I hadn't really spread the word a whole lot. But you know, working, I mentioned it to another guy I work with, and, you know, he was pretty confident I would get a raise, maybe not necessarily, you know, what I was asking for which we didn't really talk numbers exactly. But you know, kind of like, the first time I went in, he was like, yeah, you could probably get like another 2 or 3%, you know, on top of what you normally get, which is kind of the way to appease someone and make them go away, raise, you know, like, okay, here you go.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:29
Thanks for asking, don't talk to me about it anymore.

Justin 17:31
But it definitely was interesting to kind of evaluate how everybody looked at the job market, and how people respond to just trying to determine their market value like that was interesting to me. Especially, you know, in the Midwest, so relatively to the whole US, you know, my salaries looks like it's like, I'm way under paid, but in the Midwest, their cost of living is so low, like, it's actually, you know, pretty top tier.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:09
For that particular area. Well, and I think the great news that you and I spoke about along the way is that it's no law, even if you live in the Midwest, or you live in, say, I live in Moses, Lake Washington, where cost of living is very, very, very exceptionally low in many different ways. And even if you live in one of those two places, then you are no longer required to work from one of those two places, which opens up the possibilities and opens up who employers are competing against for talent, essentially, in many different ways.

Justin 18:49
That was really kind of key in the proposal. And, you know, what we came up with was that was really focusing on the fact that, hey, like, companies and on the west coast, are hiring people from all over the world because everybody's working at home right now. And that's, you know, that seems to be the way the markets moving just in general. You know, even after things kind of get back to normal and quarantines and COVID isn't really a big concern anymore, hopefully later on this year, then a lot of people are still going to be able to work remote, and that's a win-win for everybody.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:55
Absolutely.

Justin 19:08
As this the job market.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:11
So as you think back to the beginning of this process, what were some of the biggest questions that you had, or concerns that you had going into this process where you were trying to think about, like, how do I even do this? How do I approach this? Especially in a different way than what you had done four or five years ago, where you got the poultry, you know, here's a... let me throw you a bone type raised, 2 or 3%.

Justin 20:01
Right. I think the biggest struggle I had was trying to decide whether I should go have another job offer in hand or not. Because I felt like I was really good negotiator. But only if I was holding all the chips. And the only way I could picture myself as holding all the chips is if I had this other offer in my hand, and I was like, hey, look, like I can leave today and go bank this at this other company. It took a lot of coaching, you know, as you know, for me to kind of realize, wait a minute, like, I'm already holding the chips, I just have to know how to use them. And I have to convince myself that, you know, I couldn't go get this somewhere else, even without an offer in hand. Which, you know, in the long run, I think we're a lot better than if I actually were to get a job offer. Like, I feel like we did the right thing, just because, you know, we talked a lot about going into the negotiation as a partnership with your boss. And that was really beneficial. Because if I were to just run in and say, you know, "Look, this company down the streets gonna pay me 15% more, you know, give me more than that, or I'm going to leave." It's a very standoffish, you know, attitude that both parties are taking, you know, your boss feels cornered and then you might get looked at differently. I don't know, there was a lot that even though that's sort of the way the market normally handles it, it just didn't feel right to me. So I really like the approach of going in and saying, you know, like, "Look, here's what I could make. And you and I both know, I'm qualified for all these jobs. And here's what I want. So, you know, how can we make this happen together? So I don't have to go look for another job. And I don't have to come in here with the job offer to wave in your face and threaten you with." Like, I think everybody appreciated that approach more.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:22
I think the... as you're sharing, hey, here's some of the questions, biggest questions that I had, one thing that stood out to me, when we started interacting with you, and trying to understand some of your goals, and what you might be asking for throughout the process of negotiating and an increase would tie into your long term goals. And the ways that you wanted to do it, the biggest thing that stood out to me is, you're really uncomfortable with this idea that you mentioned of going and getting the job only to negotiate an increase, like that seemed out of your normal integrity, like the way that you live everything the rest of your life, like that was just like totally implicitly outside it. And that seemed like the only reason you were considering it, is it what it felt like you had to do. Is that a fair assessment?

Justin 23:14
Yeah, I think it depends a lot on your organization. The last company I worked for, I definitely felt like, you know, they made me counter offers for me to stay. And then I ended up not staying. Because I did feel like hey, like, they're trying to get me to stay right now. But, you know, they're gonna push me out as soon as they can, or I'm going to be looked at differently. And, you know, I think it depends a lot on just the dynamics of the organization and how they treat people. I don't necessarily feel like that would be the case where I am right now, just because it's a bigger company and finances, and people are sort of more removed. You know, the previous company I was with was a smaller company. So, you know, if the CEO is agreeing to a raise, that's like, $1 out of his pocket, so it's more directly... they're more directly seeing the hit of finances on them personally.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:25
Justin, when you think about this process, and you think about the work that you did to be able to make this happen for yourself and with this organization. What were some of the first things that you remember doing as we went through the process with you?

Justin 24:47
Well, the biggest thing was, you being so convincing, that I could go get another job somewhere else. And then going and looking and seeing what other jobs are available. You told me to spend like an hour, I probably spent like 10 or 12 hours over the course of a couple of weeks. But you know, it was nice, because in the process of looking for other jobs, and which it's hard to find job postings that actually list salaries, right. And, you know, just by default, most of the jobs don't list a salary. But just the ones that did list the salary publicly, you know, I was able to find a dozen jobs that paid, you know, significantly more than what I made now that we're remote, and also things that would be, you know, that would be interesting for me to do. Maybe not necessarily, you know, you always take a gamble when you change companies, because you don't really know the health of the company. And you know, whether it's going to be around, you know, in 10 years, or 2 years, or 3 years, you know, which was what I was trying to avoid by not changing jobs is it's like, I know, I'm at a job where I've been there almost a decade, I could be there for another decade, easily if I wanted to, but just convincing myself that these jobs are out there, and I could go get them right now, that was really probably the biggest step. Because once I got that mindset, that, hey, like, I could go get one of these jobs today. Or, you know, it takes a little while to go through the interview process and everything, but you know, these jobs are available. That was kind of when the game changed. And then you kept pushing me, you know, cuz I think I came out with what I was going to ask for. It was, you know, I think about 15% or so more than what I made, and you kind of kept pushing me up, but I think we finally landed on about 20% more, because you kept kind of nudging me to say, "hey, ask for more, like you can get it." So that was definitely eye opening, I guess.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:26
Was that an uncomfortable part of the process for you?

Justin 27:29
A little bit, yeah. Because you, you know, you always... you want to ask a number that doesn't seem crazy. And you want to ask a number that, you know, one is beneficial to you. Because that's ultimately why you're asking for a raise is because this is how I'm compensated for the job I do. But two, you don't want to ask a number that's so high that they just kind of laugh at you, and kind of dismiss it as whatever, like, that's impossible. But I think the way, we kind of structured the ask and the documentation and everything to go with it really, really helped kind of drive that home. But it definitely was like, uncomfortable trying to decide what to ask for. It's easy when you have an offer in hand from another company, you say, "Hey, look like they're offering me 10% more, you know, you can either match that or you can go more" like it's not really in your hands, you're just saying, this is what I could get with this other job offer. Like not having that offer in my hands, like definitely made it uncomfortable.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:48
What helped you be able to move through the process? Let's just for really helping bring everybody else into this process really quick. If we were divided this into steps, step one for you really was about let's figure out what your assets are, right? And we talked a little bit about that earlier, but you did... you have such a great relationship with everyone who has a vested interest with you there already. You have this track record of success. And on top of all of this, you have a variety of experiences and skill sets that just are a very unique combination. And I think lots of people have these but don't necessarily realize it. But in your particular case, you acknowledge that like you get sort of the software and hardware side and everything in between that makes them jive together. But then step two for you was really about, okay, what is the strategy for how we go about asking, and it really made sense for you to not involve other jobs in the process because I was outside of your integrity and do so in a way that was very much inside of your integrity, and figure out what's the game plan and strategy for how we're going to do that and I think you and I had decided that it would be a series of conversations where you approach it from, "hey, I could go and do this. I could go and get another job. But I respect you too much to be able to make that." Like, go and do that and waste everybody's time when my goal is to stay here in the first place. Right?

Justin 30:17
Yeah. You know, which is the truth, you know, that's basically just, that just boils down to, you know, figuring out how to word that in a way that gets their attention the same way you having another job offer would anyway, because... so I'm trying to think the most powerful thing in this whole process, I think, was when we sort of decided what to do is, so my steps to kind of backtrack a little bit. So I came up with a, you know, a proposal for compensation, and then you kind of ripped it all up and said, "Hey, like, move this around and change this and do all this with you know" and so after a few iterations of back and forth with you, you know, we had a pretty decent multi page proposal in hand. And then the fact that I simply called my boss and said, "Hey, like, I have something that's really, really important to me to talk to you about. And, you know, I'd like to do that in person sometime in the next, you know, three or four days. You have time on, you know, Thursday or Friday?" I think it was a Thursday, ultimately. But I called him on Monday, but I didn't tell him anything else, you know, and then and he didn't really pry, but setting the conversation up like that, I feel like was really powerful. Because I feel like it flipped who was nervous.

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:05
He did.

Justin 32:06
Right. Because normally, I would go in and say, "Hey, can I, you know, I'd like a raise. I've done a really good job." And I'd be the one whose heart was pounding and who was nervous. And when I went in on Thursday and met with my boss, you know, I was, you know, slightly nervous, leading into it. But, you know, not nearly as nervous as I was before. I could tell, you know, he was just waiting for me to hand in my resignation. And I could see the look of relief on his face, when all I did was ask for 20% raise, you know, which was like, amazing, because, you wouldn't say that they'd be like, 20%, like, whatever. But, you know, just for him to sort of sit back. And I know that, you know, he also talked to his boss, and they sort of already knew something was up, and we were meeting, you know, for an important reason. But for them to sit there and think, "okay, well, like he's probably handing in his resignation, or he has another job offer for a few days" it kind of puts them in that mindset of "oh, like, this is what it really could be like if he did leave." Framing the conversation where I was not the nervous one, really, like, I feel like that was probably the most important thing out of this whole process.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:44
I think that's really interesting and powerful, and without getting into every element of the psychology that we use with that particular strategy, which is not right for every single person under the sun. But I think it really, really was very effective here because it did, it put them in that emotional state where they had to consider, one, that it's a possibility that something you know, something could be disrupted here. And then they run through all the things in their mind about what that could be. Now, the unfortunate part is, you don't really get to control any of the thoughts that go through their head. And in this case, you know, that was actually helpful to the process, I would never recommend inflicting pain on people for manipulative purposes. But it allowed you to be transparent with what was going on here in all the ways that you could leading up to it while still being helpful to the process both for them and for you. Consequently, it also initiated them to start planning "well, what could we do in the background without you even having to ask?" So overall, I think it was really very, very good. The other thing is it did that might not be obvious here is it opens them up when you come and say, "Hey, I want to approach this as a partnership. I really want us to figure out together, like how we could make this possible? How could we get me towards this 20%? What would it take?" And asking those types of questions now, they're open to it in a completely different way than what they might have been if you just showed up randomly on a normal Tuesday and said, "Hey, so we're gonna talk to you about raise, that'd be cool." Completely, completely different. Anything else that as you think about this process for what worked really effectively for you, or what helped make it easier for you, that stood out for you.

Justin 35:46
Another one of the things was, it's gonna be different for everybody. But for me, in particular, I could pretty easily traced back some ideas and things that we've implemented over the past few years, and actually put $1 figure on some of those. Not necessarily to say like, "Hey, like, look, I saved the company $1 million. Therefore, I want you to pay me 900,000 of that" you know, but for me to actually look at it, and say, like, "whoa, like, this idea actually did save the company a million dollars, and this other idea, you know, save the company and other $500,000." Like, it definitely made it easier for me to sort of convince me of my worth in the process, because these were all ideas that I'm pretty confident if I wasn't working there, that nobody else would have necessarily came up with them. Maybe a few of them. But I mean, for the most part, these are sort of things that they handed me to work on, they're like, "Okay, well, here's how we think you should do it." And then as I got into it, I was like, well, wait a minute, if we do it like this, we can, you know, save $1 or whatever. And, you know, that really helped. And I was able to put that in the proposal as well and say, "Hey, like XYZ idea, you know, save the company, this amount of money." And it really did help me to kind of justify, to say, "Hey, look, your ROI is fantastic, no matter how you slice it, you know."

Scott Anthony Barlow 37:30
It's unequivocal. What's interesting is, so many people are in that position, and just don't even realize it. What as I'm listening to, you recount this story here, what's really standing out maybe even more than it ever has before, even though this is something of like me and my team have done a lot is that most of what made this work on the side for your employer, or on the side for you is about psychology, it's those things that got you to realize how much you were actually worth, it's those things that got your employer to be open to talking about this in a different way than they might have. It's all of those little psychological pieces rather than the proposal. And the proposal, you did a great job in the proposal. When we ended it, it was still like what I would say far from perfect, it was a really good proposal, but it's still far from perfect, we get to spend, I don't know, 20 or 50 more hours on it, to really get that tiny last little bits into perfection, right. But really, those didn't actually matter. It was much more about those other pieces of the process.

Justin 38:36
Yeah, like you mentioned earlier, you know, being able to word things in the sense that made my boss feel like, we were going to work on this problem together, versus just saying, "give me this or I'm leaving" you know, that saying, you know, give me this raise, or I'm going to leave is where, you know, it puts everybody in a standoffish mode. And that's not really the best place for everybody to be at, but being able to word it as, you know, look, like, "I'm qualified for all these other jobs, and I could go get them today. But I don't want to like I want to say here, you know, here's what I'd like to get paid in order, you know, for me to stop looking at all these other job offers and jobs that are available. You know, here's what I want in order for me to continue with my career here and sort of stop focusing on other opportunities. And how can we make that happen together?" Like that was really powerful. Because like you said earlier, like it puts them in problem solving mode, and it sort of takes the threat away. Which is you know, you never want people to feel like they're cornered and they need to do this or else because that just not a great way to approach anything in life.

Scott Anthony Barlow 40:07
It doesn't always feel very good either, if you do. In the situations where I have done that in the past, and even if the result has been good, it doesn't feel good in the end too.

Justin 40:18
Exactly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 40:19
Justin, what... as you think about this for someone else who's in a similar situation to you, where they've got, you know, a pretty decent track record of performance, and they have a great relationship with their boss or the other people who have a vested interest in their success, what advice would you give them if they're interested in renegotiating their compensation, whether it be salary or anything else? You and I had also even talked about something we didn't spend a lot of time talking about here, but like how to work in things like additional time off and other pieces of your total comp package, too. But what advice would you give that person who is thinking about that now?

Justin 41:01
The biggest advice, I would say, is to look at how hard it is for your employer to replace you. And if that's the sort of situation where it's going to be really, really hard for them to find somebody that can, you know, put on all the all the hats and take on the roles that you take on, then, you know, step two would be looking at other jobs and sort of learning about what's available on the market. Because, you know, the market ultimately kind of dictates what everyone is worth. But at the same time, you know, if you're at an organization, and they just really love you, and, you know, they really, really want you to stay, just be prepared, when you ask. Like put all this information together, actually write it down, instead of just sort of going in and asking for a raise, actually write it down. Even if you don't present it, write it down so you can organize your thoughts. And that way, when you do actually go in and ask, you can actually sort of be in a position of preparation. And, you know, like we already mentioned several times, you know, ask in a way that makes it a problem to solve, not necessarily a threat, but the problem that you and your boss can work on together. So maybe they can't give you a raise instantly, or maybe they can't give you the more time off instantly, or whatever it is you're seeking. But at least they know that this is something that's important to you. So down the road, you know, if that becomes an option then, they know that something that you would want.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:58
I think that's great advice, it puts you in a different position. Even if it doesn't happen right away for you, it puts you in a completely different position than what you were in before, which then that creates building blocks or stair steps or foundation to be able to have other conversations, which is amazing. And, you know, for you it happened quicker. You and I before we started recording here we were just talking about, it happened quicker than what we thought it would. You and I had a conversation that hey, this normally might be like 6 to 12 month process, and how long did it take you from beginning to end? Tell me a little bit about, you know, if we're looking back on this process, what were the results and the timelines that you got out of this?

Justin 43:49
Right. So I pitched it to my boss first and then actually immediately pitched it to my boss's boss, because he already kind of already knew what was going on or at least knew something was up. And so so I pitched it twice. The first time was better. Back to back as always, like, oh, he already did this. And then after that, they both took it to, you know, people above them. And then the next day, I talked to my boss and he basically said, you know, hey, like we had conversation with, you know, my boss's boss's boss, and it was positive. But you know, we kind of want to have more information about how you came up with this number that you're asking for. And so I kind of had the weekend to put together, you know, not really another proposal but just some data, putting together all the job offers that I'd, or not the job offers, for job postings that I've seen, and their salary ranges and links to all of those, and then kind of calculating an average of that and then saying, "Okay, well, the benefits where I work are a little better. So we're not going to quite ask for this number, we're going to ask for a little bit less." So it was a very calculated, you know, way of saying, "Hey, this is what I'm asking for. And this is exactly why I'm asking for it. You know, it's not just a number I pulled out of the hat. But here's the math of how I got there." So we had that... I had that conversation with my boss, I think the next Monday or Tuesday, and then on, I think it was that Thursday, maybe it was Friday. So ultimately, it was a week turned around. And then they, you know, he sat me down. And it was pretty close to what I asked for. I mean, it was basically what I asked for just in a different form, you know, part of it was salary, and then and then the other part was some stock options that take a few years to best. So it won't necessarily be, you know, an instant, sort of raise. But I know that over the course of the next few years, I'll get to where I asked for. But yeah, and then the other part I wanted to mention was, and maybe this is speculative on my end, I feel like it really like highlights to them that I'm not afraid to ask for what I'm worth. And so maybe down the road, you know, if it does come to the point where, okay, three or four more years from now, you know, it's time to ask for a little bit more of a raise, you know, maybe I won't need to even do that. Maybe they'll just know, "Hey, like we better... we need to make sure this guy's happy because he'll make a 12 page proposal. And we'll have to go through all this again."

Scott Anthony Barlow 47:20
It changes how people treat you. So this is... we talk a lot on the podcast about drawing boundaries and setting boundaries and expectations, and almost training the people that you work with, on how to treat you. And you know, what is within and outside your boundaries. And this is another example of drawing those boundaries, like having difficult conversation to be able to help people understand and train them on how to treat you.

Justin 47:46
Yeah, definitely.

Scott Anthony Barlow 47:49
You did such a great job. I just want to, one, say, I know I sent you a text that said "Congratulations", or maybe as an email, but again, now being able to chat, congratulations again, you did fantastic working through what is and can be pretty uncomfortable set of actions.

Justin 48:08
Well, thank you. Yeah. And I mean, I don't think I really could have done it without your coaching everything. So thank you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 48:17
You're very welcome. And with our last last minute or so here, is there anything else that you would like to say? Open mic time.

Justin 48:25
Open mic time. The biggest thing that you could really, that I took away from this process was knowing that you don't need another job offer to actually sort of have leverage, like leverage could be anything at any time. And even the word leverage is kind of used as a negative. I feel like in sometimes, you know, it's not really that you're being greedy, you're just asking for what you're worth. Because ultimately, you know, you're probably working at your job to make money. You know, hopefully you like what you do at the same time. But, you know, hopefully you're also getting paid what you're worth at the same time because, you know, that's why people work. So not being afraid to ask for a raise or do your homework and asking for what you're worth. I mean, that was my biggest takeaway from this whole process. Like I mentioned earlier, like, I wouldn't be super comfortable if I had another job offer and I was like, hey, like walk in the door. And here's my other offer. Like if you want me to stay, like, you better beat that. But that doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel right.

Scott Anthony Barlow 49:01
It's easier, but sometimes the right way to do it is not that easy way, in many different cases is what I've found over life. Justin, may we share either the percentages or amounts that you got for increase?

Justin 50:17
Yeah. Overall, I think it'll ultimately turn into about a 20% raise over the next few years. I've got my calculator in my hand right now.

Scott Anthony Barlow 50:32
Go for it.

Justin 0:33
So, salary wise, it was about a 12% raise. And then, you know, my other forms of compensation will roll in over the next few years. And that'll be another, you know, 8 or 9%. So it was really well worth the effort.

Scott Anthony Barlow 50:55
Roughly, how much time do you think you put into the process?

Justin 51:00
Oh, my goodness.

Scott Anthony Barlow 51:01
Just estimate. Gross estimate, curious.

Justin 51:07
Probably 60 to 70 hours, you know, over the course of a month or two. So it was a lot of, you know, weekends, I would spend a few hours in the morning, in the afternoon, you know, and I even, you know, I kind of sat my kids down, and because they were like, what are you working on? Like, why are you always have this word document open? And you're typing in it, and your, you know...

Scott Anthony Barlow 51:34
What are you doing, dad?

Justin 51:35
Yeah. So I mean, hopefully, it was a learning process for them too. Because I was like, Well, like, you know, I have a job. I feel like I could get a raise if I asked for one. So I'm trying to put together a way to ask for that, you know, of course, they're very young, so they don't necessarily see the, you know, they can't really relate to that problem directly. But maybe one day, there'll be like, "Yeah, I remember my dad, asking for a raise and doing that."

Scott Anthony Barlow 52:08
I think that will benefit them so much, though not to get too far down that path. But I really believe and have seen a lot of evidence that because they have seen you do it. And because they have seen it be possible that many of the obstacles that both you and I have faced when going and asking for increases or negotiating increases, it might not be there in the same way for them, because they understand that it's possible on a different level. So that's pretty awesome that you did that and took the time to share it with them too. Good. You get total dad points.

Justin 52:45
Yeah. That's the next generation, hopefully, it'll be better.

Scott Anthony Barlow 52:52
Most of our episodes on Happen To Your Career, often showcase stories of people that have identified and found and take the steps to get to work that they are absolutely enamored with, that matches their strengths, and is really what they want in their lives. And if that's something that you're ready to begin taking steps towards, that is awesome, you can actually get on the phone with us and our team. And we can have a conversation to find the very best way that we can help. It's super informal. And we try to understand what your goals are, where you want to go, and what specifically you need our help with. And then we figure out the very best type of help for you, whatever that looks like and sometimes even customize that type of help. And then we make happen. Really easy way to schedule a conversation with our team is just go to scheduleaconversation.com that's scheduleaconversation.com, and find a time that works best for you, will ask you a few questions as well. And then we'll get you on the phone to figure out how we can get you going to work that you really want to be doing that fits your strengths that you love, and you're enamored with. Hey, I can't wait to hear from you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 54:16
I worked in HR leadership for many years long before HTYC was even ever thought of. And I grew to hate the term employee engagement. Why? Well, partially because it's a buzzword and became a buzzword over the last 20 plus years. However, there's another really large reason. So many organizations talk about it, but not really doing anything of serious impact to help their employees actually be happier and more fulfilled at their work. And the crazy thing is that you don't actually have to wait. As it turns out, most people don't even realize that there are things that you can do. So you're not waiting in your organization to drive employee engagement and actually allow you to be more fulfilled. So what is it that you can do to take ownership of your role in a way that actually matters, and allows you to be more happy more often in your career?

Rachel Cooke 55:17
And I think that there's absolutely a role that companies need to play in helping their teams craft that. But I also think we are all very much empowered to shape shift our own employee experiences, I think companies works really well is when you have both the enterprise and the individual employees all steering in the same direction.

Scott Anthony Barlow 55:38
That's Rachel Cooke. She's the founder of Lead Above Noise and also the host of Macmillan's Quick and Dirty Tips, modern mentor podcast. Today, Rachel's going to share how you can take control to deliver your best work and thrive without waiting on your company. All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically. Even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

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Surprising Career Change Advice From 6 People Who Made the Switch

on this episode

Making a huge life change such as shifting careers can seem like an intimidating task.

It’s more than just handing in your resignation and then immediately moving onto something better. Sometimes it means letting go of a job that pays well and going through a trial and error process. 

But we’ve also learned that despite the risks, the journey allows you to discover what you really want to do and what you value in a job, so you know what to go after. 

In this episode, you’ll hear from 6 people who’ve successfully made career changes. More importantly they will all answer the question: 

What advice would you give to a professional or exec who’s ready to make a career change? 

From taking the time off to prioritize your health and well-being to asking for help when needed, to removing unnecessary pressure from yourself – they share incredible insights based on their own experiences that helped them secure the role they desire.

what you’ll learn

  • Why it’s important to determine what you want before going after it.
  • How taking care of your health and wellness translates to effectiveness and efficiency.
  • Why you should not see asking for help as a weakness, but a strength.
  • Why you shouldn’t settle for a “good” job.
  • How to reach out for support when you need to make a change.

Success Stories

as I was diving into the bootcamp at Happen To Your Career, and I was really trying to think broadly, I had this moment of thinking, "Okay, should I even should I be a lawyer? What should I do?" so I worked with Happen To Your Career really started trying to dig deep and lay a foundation… it was helpful to have Lisa through the interviewing process, and all the little events like "oh, someone responded like this, how should I respond?" How should I deal with all the steps along the way? I also had a tendency to form myself into what I thought they were looking for and Lisa helped me be who I actually am in the interviews.

Rebecca Maddox, Attorney, United States/Canada

The transition was so much easier than the last and so much more gratifying because of all that I learned with HTYC

Michal Balass, Social Science Research Analyst, United States/Canada

I think one of the reasons the podcast has been so helpful to me is because you talk to people in different roles, and all of a sudden I have exposure to people in different roles. Talking about why they got there and what they like about it.

Laura Morrison, Senior Product Manager, United States/Canada

I just remember from that visioning exercise, being able to say no to something, even if it's a great opportunity or a great experience. It shows that as we moved through these journeys, whether it's life or even business that we… we have to stay true to what we're really searching for and wanting to create.

Matthew Toy, Yoga Instructor, United States/Canada

Matt Toy 00:01

You allocate time to all the things that keep the machine going, that keep, you know, gas in the tank, essentially.

Laura Morrison 00:08

Particularly as someone who has been successful, it's hard to admit to myself, it was hard for me to say I couldn't do it by myself.

Introduction 00:20

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what it does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:44

Welcome to the Happen To Your Career podcast. I'm Scott Anthony Barlow. This is the show where we share stories of how high achievers find career happiness and meaning. Our team, every single day, we get tons of questions about everything you can imagine to do with careers. What should I do differently on my applications to get the interviews that I want? How do I narrow down the list of stuff that I'm interested in to make into a career? How do I translate my skills into something that would be amazing for a job or career opportunity? And here's the thing, we absolutely love that we get all these questions. It's the reason why we do what we do. We'd love to be able to help. And at the same time, what we've learned is that most of the time when we get these questions, they're just barely scratching the surface of what you need to know, to make really big career changes, to design a career in a life that you love. And many of the things that you want if you're listening to this show right now. So we thought, okay, well, we asked many of our students, and our podcast guests, what advice would you give other people that want to make a really big career change to meaningful work? And we do that, at the end of many of our episodes, we do that when people go through our programs and our bootcamps, and they've made a huge change. And here's the thing, these are people that have been there, they've done that, they've made the journey. And we thought it would be really incredibly valuable to take the advice that each of these people have given when they're on the other side. And they know all the things that you need to do and how to do them and what they experienced and what worked and what didn't work. So in this particular episode, we've taken that advice from six different people, most of them students of ours, and we share the things that you wouldn't even think to ask about what it really takes to make a big career change.

Louise McNee 02:46

We all put the pressure on ourselves, I think in a lot of situations, there's not other people putting the pressure on us.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:51

That's Louise McNee, by the way, she made a move to a completely different industry, in this case, broadcasting that she had never worked in before and move to a role that she absolutely loves.

Louise McNee 03:02

You have to take the pressure off yourself. And you have to think about not just the role, but the people, you've got to think about everything because I remember when I did the, you know, what does your ideal day look like? I felt like I was being a bit spoiled by saying certain things. You know, I want to be able to, you know, wake up whatever time in the morning, I want to wake up and I want to be able to have a cup of tea in bed before I go to work, and really get down into those details because I find that it's not those details as such is not going to make you figure out what's going on, that you find a pattern in what you actually really need in your day to get, you know, through the day in the most positive, fulfilled way. So you know, it's like take the pressure off, really get down into the detail. And one of the things to me was kind of realizing that potentially, which is so different from where I was, one of me, I come from making career everything.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:04

Yes.

Louise McNee 04:05

I've now realized that for me, career can't be everything.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:09

Louise's experience is interesting, because it's not that different from what many of us experience. We're adding pressure to ourselves that doesn't even need to be there. It's making it harder for us to make a real change in our lives. And then on top of that, many of us feel indulgent or she called it spoiled, if we really proclaim what we actually want. Now the thing that we've learned is if you never acknowledge what you really want, and you never asked for what you want, then you never actually get to what you want. Rebecca Maddox had a really similar experience.

Rebecca Maddox 04:42

I say you owe it to yourself. Just give it some time, give it... see what you think.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:48

By the way, Rebecca, was a burned out attorney who was also tired of life and the whole game that was being played in Washington DC and she made a pretty huge change to a completely different organization, across the country that truly met her needs.

Rebecca Maddox 05:02

Go look into, like, see what your options are. Reach out to someone, talk to friend, and say, "hey can you even get paid does this sort of thing? I think it's interesting.” And maybe meet up for coffee, because a five minute conversation or even 15 minute conversation, saying, “Hi, I think what you do is amazing. I'm really curious when you do your job.” I would say it's worth it. It's no pressure. And if it works out, that's how most people find their jobs anyways. And if you're in that moment and thinking, "Geez, I'm so entrenched in where I am, like, moving to a different opportunity is kind of a joke." I would say, "Maybe you're right, there's a good chance that you're probably wrong, unless you're an extremely niche field." Because skills are transferable. And if you're in that moment, where you're realizing this is something that's really hitting me hard and hitting, like impacting those around me, right, like, it's when it goes beyond just you and starts impacting those around you, like you may be having that impact on those around you, and realize that, if there are those people in your life who say, get your job, and you stick to it. And that's the one thing that you do, that's not the world we live in. It's more a game of rather than, like, plant your roots and see how deep they go, you feel a little bit more like a game of chutes and ladders. So it's just a matter of where you shift. And ultimately, like if people are telling you, you got the dream, but it's something doesn't feel right. That's fine. Trust that. And if people are angry, they'll come around. Especially if you're like, you know this wrong, you're going to make yourself happy, it's going to make everyone else happy. And we've looked into it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:56

There's a particularly funny thing about the way meaningful careers work. What's the dream, I'm using air quotes, for one person is the next person's nightmare. And just staying in your job or role because it seems like a good job won't actually make that feeling go away. Maybe you've already had that realization, though, and you decide you're going to make a change, whether it's a new career for you, or maybe it's even starting your own thing. How do you decide where to spend your time and what's going to be valuable for your time?

Matt Toy 07:27

The more that you can double down on your health and your wellness, the better. That will go back to effectiveness and efficiency of how you run your business. And also just the decisions that you make.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:38

That's Matt Toy. And in his case, he was starting his own thing. It was a yoga studio, specifically for men. But he found that he was faced with the same thing that everybody does, when they're making a big change like this. We all only have 24 hours in a day. So how you use that time becomes even more important when you're already busy. And now you're adding even more by trying to make a career change or start something new on top of it all.

Matt Toy 08:07

So what I loved about your course was the whole master schedule. So really looking down and saying what's my schedule look like on a day to day, weekly, monthly, maybe even yearly basis and really figuring out okay, where am I losing time? Or where am I not being effective? Or where am I just sitting by myself thinking and analyzing and judging and blah, blah, blah. So that was really helpful to look at it and be like, "Okay, cool. When I am going to be taking action and growing a business, am I still going to go to the gym? Am I still going to practice yoga? Am I still going to eat well?" You know, you allocate time to all the things that keep the machine going, that keep, you know, gas in the tank, essentially, because the downfall or the pitfall that I've seen, especially for younger people, you know, 20s, 30s is that they get all hyped up, they get an idea and they go full fledged, right. Whether or not it's the right idea doesn't matter, but they go full fledge, burn themselves out, just not losing those core principles while you build a business because it's going to be challenging when you build a business, there's going to be lots of unknowns, right. And that puts you in a lot of times an emotional state that's like a little bit frantic.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:19

Something else that Matt mentioned, is one thing that we see that's difficult for nearly everyone, for some reason, most of us think that we can do this thing all by ourselves, but honestly, these types of changes really rarely happen without the support of other people in this world.

Laura Morrison 09:38

Yeah, I think you know, it took me a few months to look for outside help. And that was the thing that I needed.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:46

Okay, you might remember Laura Morrison, she was back on episode 213 of the podcast. She was working in sustainability. She had a great job, but she'd pretty much topped out on growth with the organization and she had an 18 month old baby and knew that she may needed to make a change, but she was getting pretty stuck.

Laura Morrison 10:04

I think, particularly as someone who has been successful, it's hard to admit to myself, it was hard for me to say I couldn't do it by myself. You know, I'm smart person, I should be able to figure this out. But as soon as I, you know, had my first career coaching experience, it completely turned around my approach to finding a new job. And it completely gave me the power back and the tools that I needed to do it. So I think, you know, if you know exactly what you want to do, well, you're probably not listening to this podcast. But if you don't, just know that there are a lot of tools and resources and people out there who can help you. And for me, that made all the difference.

Michal Balass 10:48

Be kind to yourself, be patient to yourself, and that things do always work out.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:55

That's Michal Balass, her journey took over a year to make her career change. But here's the thing, if she would have rushed it, though, she might not have found the role that she's in now, or even started a side business in photography along the way.

Michal Balass 11:12

Keep on having conversations, don't have conversations, because you're looking for another job, have conversations with people who are doing things that are interesting, because you're interested in it. And that's going to open a whole world to you that you don't know about because you're not having conversations. And I want to say that I'm a very introverted person, when I walk into a party, I'm not the center of it, and never was, but I can have these conversations now. And I am still connecting. And, you know, even now, where I'm very happy with my current position, and I'm not looking to do anything necessarily, in terms of leaving or anything of that nature, I'm still having conversations, I'm having conversations with other people at universities, I'm having conversations with people outside of my department learning about interesting things, because I don't know what circumstance is going to change, which is going to spark another move or another desire for a career change. And I think that's really important. The important part of having conversations is about that it enlightens you about the possibilities. And when you hear about somebody who's doing something that is so fantastically interesting to you, very inspiring, it keeps me going, it keeps me growing as a professional.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:41

Michal kept doing the really hard things. And in her case, this meant having conversations and building relationships with others, even though this was incredibly difficult for her at first. But she later learned that she actually enjoyed this. But there were many times where she had to do those things that she didn't want to do to get where she wanted to go. Now, Dave Stachowiak, has found the exact same thing.

Dave Stachowiak 13:07

I said, "You know what? I'm not sure how this all gonna work long term. Yes, I'm struggling this week, or this month with putting my time and effort into this. But I said I was gonna do this. And so I'm going to keep doing it." And I love the quote, from... I forget which NBA player it was from. One of the NBA players said, "Being a professional is about doing the things you love to do on the days you don't feel like doing it." And that to me resonates because that's been my whole career, there's been days I've shown up for everything that I don't want to do what I need to do that day, or what I've committed to do to someone that day, or to my clients or to my organization. And so while it was frustrating at times, that also was not something that was... that I hadn't navigated before. And I said, "I'm gonna keep doing this and just see what happens." And it's also helpful and this is where what your listeners here are doing, Scott, is listening to other perspectives and listening other people out there and listening to people say things like, "If you do anything that is meaningful in the world, it's going to take time, it's not going to be an overnight success. And nor should it be." In fact, today that's, you know, it's just part of the journey. And it's very much adapted and grown.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:25

Hey, I hope you have enjoyed this episode. It's chock-full of advice from people that have been there, done that, got the teaser, all the things that you probably wouldn't have thought would be so incredibly important. And if I didn't do this day after day and hadn't made any of these changes myself, I probably went to realize that either. So we've actually taken all of this advice, everything and put it on to a blog post that can be even more useful and we put a little extra into, so you can go over to happentoyourcareer.com and find all of this advice, the transcript for this episode. And even more to get you started in your journey, all the things that you didn't even know, you didn't know would be critical for your career change.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:08

Most of our episodes on Happen To Your Career often showcase stories of people that have identified and found and take the steps to get to work that they are absolutely enamored with, that matches their strengths, and is really what they want in their lives. And if that's something that you're ready to begin taking steps towards, that is awesome, you can actually get on the phone with us and our team. And we can have a conversation to find the very best way that we can help. It's super informal. And we try to understand what your goals are, where you want to go, and what specifically you need our help with. And then we figure out the very best type of help for you, whatever that looks like, and sometimes even customize that type of help. And then we make happen. Really easy way to schedule a conversation with our team is just go to scheduleaconversation.com, that scheduleaconversation.com and find a time that works best for you, we'll ask you a few questions, as well. And then we'll get you on the phone to figure out how we can get you going to work that you really want to be doing that fits your strengths, that you love, and you're enamored with. Hey, I can't wait to hear from you.

Mike Bigelow 16:29

My name is Mike Bigelow, and I'm an engineer who was living in Portland, Oregon, and was moving up to Seattle, Washington to support my wife's career change. And kind of move back home. My folks are still up here as well. As we're speaking now I am sitting in my new apartment having unpacked and most of it in a gap week between when I left my old job, when I'm starting my new job. So yeah, right here. And now it's pretty cool.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:55

Having unpacked most of it, that in itself is a success.

Mike Bigelow 16:59

No kidding man, no kidding.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:02

We got the pleasure of helping Mike make his career change. And in this episode, you're going to hear exactly what the differences are between local versus remote job searching, because we get so many questions about that. And Mike did a really fantastic job with this, not just in his most recent change, but over the life of his career. And also how to maximize your time in both situations, which is incredibly valuable, and then how career coaching can take you from being a good job candidate to a great candidate by offering the path that you want to grow along. And Mike did something really particularly well in identifying what his big value ads were from his past job experiences. And then he gives some really great examples in how you can apply them to nearly any industry. We get pretty deep into how creating a conversational environment during informational interviews and what we call the test drive method opens so many more doors than walking into the conversation, expecting a job offer or traditional job search methods. So all that and plenty more next week[18:10][a] right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until, next week[18:30][b]. Adios. I'm out.

[a]@joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[b]@joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

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How To Define And Focus On Essentialism For Your Life With Greg McKeown

on this episode

We live in a golden age of information and productivity. Never in human history have ordinary people had such easy access to more information, or more tools to get work done, instantly, from anywhere, by themselves. Which is great! But, as we all know, can be overwhelming. Our poor human brains can get over-filled, or distracted. Checking email, checking social, checking the news, checking the market. And sometimes, in the midst of all this information overload, we lose track of what’s really important. 

If you’ve been listening to our podcast, you’ve heard me talk a lot about figuring out what you want. What’s really important to you? How do you filter out the noise of all the outside demands — other people, social media, the news — and really drill down to determine what you want for yourself? Getting to that answer of what you want is the key to achieving clarity about your career change goals. Once you have that clarity, you can go out and achieve what you want. 

I’m speaking with Greg McKeown this week. His bestselling book, “Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less,” is about exactly how to answer this question of what you want — what is essential to your life? Greg is a blogger with millions of monthly readers and, as I mentioned, a bestselling author. He’s written a lot on his concept of essentialism, which I think is a great framing concept for career change. Because, when we talk about career change, what we’re really talking about is figuring out what is most important to you — what is essential — and how do you go about getting it? He and I had a great conversation about exactly that.

What you’ll learn

  • How Greg learned (painfully) why he needed to focus on the essentials in his life.
  • Greg’s philosophy of Essentialism, discovering your best life by doing less.
  • Why figuring out what is essential to your life is important.
  • How Essentialism can help you identify what you want and drive your career change forward.

Success Stories

I convinced myself for many years, that I was very lucky to have that job, and I would be crazy to leave it. I convinced myself that the team needed me even though I was miserable. And ultimately, it took me getting physically sick to realize I needed to leave! One of the biggest things that I learned out of the signature coaching was on designing my life. And this is another thing that I had really never, it had, I don't know, if it had never occurred to me. I just never believed it was possible until now.

Michael Fagone, Mortgage Loan Officer and Finance Executive, United States/Canada

The way you guys have it laid out it just, it makes it easier to move through the process, because the steps are laid out such a way that it's clear. It's that extra support to help you move through the process that helps you move through the program.

Kristy Wenz, Chief Communications Officer, United States/Canada

Thank you both for inspiring me to always ask, "Why NOT me?" and stick to my values for what I want for my life. I couldn't be happier and more excited for this new life!

Lisa Schulter, Special Projects Manager, United States/Canada

I wanted to thank you because you have helped me land a job that is more fulfilling in every way than a job I thought I could have had before I met you. The work you did and the techniques you taught me literally changed my life.

Eric Murphy, Science Teacher, United States/Canada

Greg McKeown 00:01

Have you ever found yourself stretched too thin at work or at home? Have you ever found yourself being busy but not necessarily productive? Have you ever found yourself be, where your day is being hijacked by other people's agenda for you, whether that's through email or whether it's on social media, where people are hijacking you with their opinions and you feel distracted and pulled into that or just by the news, the incessant, you know, addictive news cycle that's trying to get you to focus on it over any other thing? If you can say, yes, to any of the above, then what's happening is whether you meant to or not, you're falling into the way of the non essentialist. And what I'm arguing is the way out is the way of the essentialist.

Introduction 00:55

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:19

You've probably already heard that, you need to say 'no' to more things. And we've all heard about drawing boundaries and that if we're too busy, well, guess what? It's just our own fault. All we need to do is say, 'yes' to less things, which sounds easy in theory, and it's nice to write down. And it's great to read about on a blog post. However, it's much harder to do in practice, in reality.

Greg McKeown 01:43

All of a sudden, as COVID hit the, you know, like a quarter of the US population, almost literally overnight, had been asked to believe something like involuntary essentialism. Not unkindly, we were told, go to your room, and don't come out again until you've had a good thing about it. Like, it's a global teenager, we went and have had to think. And I think there's not almost not anybody who hasn't asked whether they said it in exactly these words or not. But the spirit of it is, what's essential now? All the things I could focus on, what should I focus on? All these things I no longer control which things even matter.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:31

That's Greg McKeown. He's a huge advocate for pursuing less. What he refers to as "essentialism". His writing has appeared in places like New York Times, Fast Company, Fortune, Huffington Post, Inc. Magazine, lots of other places. And he's among the most popular bloggers in places like the Harvard Business Review and LinkedIn influencer scripts, averaging over a million views a month. Oh, also, he's the author of "Essentialism" which I read a while back and thought, hey, I have to get Greg on the podcast. So many months later, he's here to discuss the disciplined pursuit of less and where the idea of essentialism actually began.

Greg McKeown 03:12

One of the key inflection points for me happened when I got an email from a colleague at the time it said, "Look, Friday between 1 and 2pm will be a very bad time for your wife to have a baby because I need you to be at such and such a meeting." And my wife was expecting, otherwise that's an even stranger email to receive. There we are Wednesday, where we are Friday, and our daughter has been born in the middle of the night. And we are, you know, I'm instead of being totally focused on this central moment, I am feeling torn. How can I keep everybody happy? How can I do both? And so to my shame, I go to the meeting. And afterwards I remember I called saying, "look, the client will respect you for the choice you just made." And I'm not sure the look on their faces invokes that sort of confidence, or that I was really in any mental shape to be able to contribute well to that meeting, but regardless, it is clear I made a fool's bargain that I violated something more important, something essential, but something less important. And what I learned from that was this, if you don't prioritize your life, someone else will. This gave impetus in hindsight to get on with researching, studying, understanding, interviewing, "why do we do what we do?" And I have found that many people fall into a trap and people listening to this can test it themselves. Have you ever found yourself stretched too thin at work or at home? Have you ever found yourself being busy but not necessarily productive? Have you ever found yourself be, where your day is being hijacked by other people's agenda for you, whether that's through email or whether it's on social media, where people are hijacking you with their opinions and you feel distracted and pulled into that or just by the news, the incessant, you know, addictive news cycle that's trying to get you to focus on it over any other thing? If you can say, yes, to any of the above, then what's happening is whether you meant to or not, you're falling into the way of the non essentialist. And what I'm arguing is the way out is the way of the essentialist.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:26

So let me ask you this. This is something that as I'm hearing you talk, I am wondering because I'm thinking about some of my own experience as well, as I'm hearing you tell your story. And part of the way I found reason to pay attention to the essential more so than anything else was through a set of, what I consider to be extreme experiences much, much like you, I would probably call what happened with, you know, you're at the client meeting, and your wife and new baby are in the hospital. Yeah, I'd say that's more on the extreme side, not necessarily extreme in the form of like, life or death or anything like that, but definitely more on the extreme side. And I myself had several different experiences back to back that began to cause me to pay attention to the essential where, you know, my, I guess mine did actually fall into the life or death, I didn't realize that till now. But my son, I was at work, and my son ended up, after going to the doctor, my wife and had taken him to the doctor earlier in the day, got a prescription, got two prescriptions actually, and gave him the one prescription he started turning blue, and wife called me and she called me again and called me again and I didn't pick up the phone until I realized that it's the three ring signal and, I don't know how it works in your family, but in my family, if my wife calls three times like it's an emergency, so I eventually pick up the phone. I had that same sort of decision to make as you were initially I actually decided to stay at work at first because the situation I was in, there was a ton of resources put into it. It just happened to be this really big meeting, all these people had flown in, I was in charge of the whole thing. And at first I decided to stay and then finally, I came to my senses and left, but it could have been too late for all intents and purposes. And you know, he was blue, he is on the way to hospital. And fortunately, the other prescription happened to be a steroid, which ended up saving his life. So that was kind of my moment of like, there's really no reason not to pay attention to the essential, could miss out on almost everything. I appreciate what you teach to many, many different levels. But all that said, here's my question, those were longest preface ever to this question.

Greg McKeown 07:42

No, that was an important story.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:43

Do people have to go through something as extreme as what you or I went through in order to wake up to this idea? Or is there hope to get out of that busyness and run around and stretched too thin and all the things, all the pieces that we just described, and do it differently without having to have the type of learning that you or I did?

Greg McKeown 08:08

The answer is, definitely yes. It can be done. And it's the best scenario to take, is to choose to become an essentialist before you have to be a voluntary essentialist. It's a cheaper way to get a great bargain in life. Because you don't have to pay this huge price for the lesson. You can just implement it while things are good. But even if it takes some external event to create the wake up call, that's the next best scenario and tying this back to what we just talked about a moment ago, all of a sudden, as COVID hit the, like a quarter of the US population almost literally overnight, has been asked to relive something like involuntary essentialism, you know, not unkindly, we were told, "go to your room, and don't come out again until you've had a good think about it." Like this is a global teenager, we went and had to think. And I think there's not almost not anybody who hasn't asked whether they said it in exactly these words or not. But the spirit of it is, well, what's essential now? All the things I could focus on, what should I focus on? All these things I no longer control, which things even matter? Of all the changes that have taken place, I mean, is there anybody who hasn't had to reprioritize? Everybody's had to reprioritize in some way, whether they lost a job or whether other people in their company have left or whether they're now working from home and that changes dynamics and time that's available, the more distracted at home potentially, because they have children and then navigating all of the strain of that. I mean, everybody whether they wanted to or not, has been confronted with a prioritization challenge. Now, a true essentialist is better positioned and prepared for this moment. They have less to change, they're more relaxed with the idea of constraints and the benefit of constraints, why boundaries are helpful, why trade offs are to be celebrated and embraced. They have a mindset and a skill set that lends itself at this moment. But even if you didn't, and you're suddenly discovering in this moment, the need for greater focus, the need for greater discernment, you can still benefit a lot from this moment. Now, discovering this language of this approach to life.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:40

It's so interesting thinking about it from that perspective. And first of all, let's not just gloss over that, that was one of the funnier ways to describe the global teenager that has to go to the room that I've heard in the scheme of things to describe some of the byproducts of COVID. And in some ways, I guess you could say that is the one of the silver linings and I don't want to make light of some of the harsher impacts of COVID or anything along those lines, but I have been almost sort of, I'm not even sure the right way to say it, Greg, guiltily questioning myself in some ways about why I haven't had to make very many adjustments as it relates to COVID. And I think what you mentioned rings true a little bit for me, because I feel like I've sort of been operating in this mode in many different ways for a really long time, not just from an essentialism point of view, but from many other point of views, like work from home for five plus years, and all those sorts of things as well. But I think that for me, it makes a really important point that when you're talking about essentialism, and the ideas behind it, which I think that you described so eloquently, I would equate it with lifestyle change, rather than just a way to think about something or just a way to think about it differently. Does that make sense?

Greg McKeown 12:04

Yes, I think it is about a lifestyle change, ultimately. I think it starts with a mindset where you say "look, only a few things are really essential and most of it beyond those essential things should be questioned or eliminated." There are few things if you can discover them and invest in them, they will pay tremendous dividends over the long run. And so once you get that mindset, an essentialist believes that almost everything is non essential and a non essentialist believes that almost everything is essential. So as you get the mindset of the essentialist as you shift the mindset, then you start seeing the world through a new lens and you used to put on these new glasses or, well actually the way I feel like it's you taking off glasses you're taking off this barrier to seeing things clearly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:54

Why the subtle difference? Explain that for me, when you say, taking off versus putting on glasses. Tell me why it was different?

Greg McKeown 13:01

Because I think that non essentialism is this false perception, you know, those sort of joke glasses that you can wear sometimes that magnify everything way too big, you know, once you put them on you, you're almost you're basically blind. I think non essentialism is like that, that you've got to remove the distortion so that you can just see things clearly, essentialism is just how things are. I mean, I didn't make them this way. It just turns out if you see things as they are, a few things really matter and lots of things don't. And if you pretend that everything's equally valuable, then you'll go through life a certain way, and that certain way will be, okay, try and do as much stuff as you can, fit in as much stuff and respond to as many emails as you can and say yes to everything and compare yourself with everyone and compete with everything. Because your job is just to do as much of this stuff as you can. If you believe that only a few things matter, but they are so valuable if you find them, then suddenly you automatically start moving from the mindset to the skill set. What is the skillset look like? It's three skills, it's explore what's essential, eliminate what's not and it's execute the things that matter most, by building a system to do it. You start to do those three things automatically, naturally, spontaneously, once the mind sets in place. Why? Well, if you suddenly discovered that you aren't in a coal mine, as you've always believed, but you really in a diamond mind, think of how you'd automatically change your behavior. Suddenly, you'd be all in the business of searching, you'd be in the business of carefully chipping away, looking, you'd be getting researchers that could help you find the disproportionately valuable items, instead of just mass, get it all out. And that's the same in life. Once you see things clearly, you start to explore naturally. And then of course, you want to cut out the non essential because you recognize it now as total dross is just not, it doesn't even matter. Many of the things that appear important through the lens of non essentialism are not important even one week later, they don't matter at all. It seemed... sometimes urgently important. But one week later, you couldn't even care less. So it just shows what a con non essentialism can be. So you of course, you want to start getting rid of the stuff that doesn't matter, you want to stop fretting about the things that don't matter. And then finally, you want to build a system that means that even when you sort of forget this perspective, it still happens automatically. So you want execution to be as easy and natural as possible, on the going. Those are the three skills. And I say they fall in naturally the mindset.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:48

So let me ask you about particularly the idea of exploring, first of all, one of the things that I've observed is that whether it's called essentialism or by any other name, that I've heard people talk about this idea. One of the first things that I think people have a tendency to misunderstand about this and I've heard you mentioned this in a variety have different places. It's not the idea of saying no to everything, absolutely everything. And I think that's one of the falsities falsehoods, it's one of the things that people get wrong. So it is saying 'no' to almost everything but it does not equivocally mean saying no to everything. And one of the places where I've heard you talk about that most recently, we just mentioned your new podcast. But on your first episode, when you were chatting with your wife, and you were talking about this idea of exploration versus saying no to everything, so help me understand where the line is drawn, because I think that can be confusing because it seems almost in conflict sometimes.

Greg McKeown 16:48

Yes, I mean, the the key to essentialism is in the title, right? It's, "what is essential" you don't say no for the sake of it reactively any more than you should be saying yes, for the sake of it reactively, essentialism is arguing. You will say no to things because life is trade off, every choice is a trade off. Now you can go through life unaware of that, blinded by non essentialism so that you think you can just say yes to everything or you can become aware that you can't do that, that's a con that that's a, you've been sold a bill of goods. And now you say, well, every yes is a no to many things. And now the question becomes, how thoughtful are you in which things you say yes to, and making sure that you say yes to things that you have a high confidence, really matter. You invest carefully, thoughtfully, like Warren Buffett, where he's saying, "look, life is a series of punch card with 20 punches available." He thought that's how he would make a good investment, is to think like that. So it means that you don't mess around saying yes to any old thing. You say yes only to the things you have a high confidence of. Now you can do exploration before that, you can try things out, you can learn about anything, but you don't invest big on everything around you. He's talked about how like, really, their investment strategy borders on lethargy. That is they're constantly looking and exploring, but they don't say yes, until they've got something that's such a no brainer. It's like an obvious business that they totally understand that has really great long term value, then they invest big and hold it for the long run, don't tell the managers how to do what they're doing because the whole point is that that it's already well managed. And that's it. That's the whole strategy. The most successful investor in history is a total, you know, surest essentialist in his understanding of the world. And it is now just a statement of fact that 90% of his fortune can be traced back to 10 investment decisions. We can do the same thing in the investment decisions of our own lives. Just don't go big until you go, yeah, I've done a bit of quiet exploration, I've looked forwardly, I'm looking at lots of different things but I'm going big on the things I am sure about, you feel completely right about.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:18

I love that idea of perpetual exploration. But then investing big in the areas that you are sure about, right about. Let's be honest, one of the reasons I loved the idea behind essentialism, I think everyone can get on board with it, because it's so easy to understand. Have you found that? And actually, one of the things I was wondering as I read the book way back when because I'm in the process of writing a book as well, and thinking through all these sorts of things, but the simplicity of the idea, I think, causes people to latch on to it even easier, and be able to apply it in their own lives. I'm curious what you found, as you see people latch on to this idea versus where they struggle with it.

Greg McKeown 20:01

I think the people when they hear essentialism, want it from the first moment, it's, presented to them. If they... suddenly, they recognize that life has had two paths. And they just didn't know that was a second path.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:16

Well, those crazy glasses that you were wearing not that long ago, all of a sudden, and now often there's no going back.

Greg McKeown 20:21

Yes, I think that is right. I had a great conversation recently. Maybe we'll put it on the podcast at some point, but with a couple. And the husband Jerry, is, you know, he's an eye surgeon, he was completely overwhelmed. His wife said that he would sit with his head and his hands and sort of moan, I can't do it all. I cannot do it all. And then he would stand up and say, "but I have to", and that's how he proceeded in life. And this had some predictable effects. He wasn't taking any time to invest in himself. So when he started to get this terrible skin rash that could have threatened his whole career, he didn't even have enough space or sense of control over his own time to go to the doctor's. And so this is threatening his career, but he still doesn't have time. And then they're on this road trip together for a couple of days. And they read essentialism end to end. And as they're reading, the way that Jerry tells that, he says, he's like, "look, I just didn't know that was a different way to do life. I didn't know that." So he's going down this path believing this is it, this is the only way and my job is just to try and make the best of it. And suddenly he wakes up, there's a different way and he just... he completely reverses his approach to life. He emails everyone in his, you know, medical office and says, well, we've got to change this. Any client that could be served by someone else on the team needs to be served by them. Previously, if he'd ever worked with a patient, he always worked with that patient, you know, he just would gather and never let go. He would look for people he could refer to other eye doctors that might even be a better fit. Everybody understood this, they were very supportive, quick to do it. And they understood why he needed to make the change. He even renegotiated with his church where he was on the elbows board. And he said, "look, I've got to make some transitions." And so he counsels together and steps down from that board so that he can have enough health to be able to make a contribution. And they found that a little stranger because no one had done that before. So there wasn't a good protocol for being able to have this conversation. But nevertheless, it got his life into proper balance. And both he and his wife in different words have said to me, look, essentialism didn't change his life, it saved his life. Because the stress was already so high, but then when an additional stress was added later when one of his colleagues retired early like a 30 day warning, he suddenly had all of these extra patients everyone coming out and they think it would have finished them off literally because of the other health issues he was dealing with. So essentialism is a different path, path that, you know, it's a path of less is, path less traveled. But it doesn't make it a path we ought not to travel.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:22

I definitely think you should put that on the podcast for whatever my opinion is worth. The only reason I say that is because although Arianna Huffington is great, I think more people will relate to that story that you just shared and hearing it come from those people themselves, I think could be really powerful to help spread this message.

Greg McKeown 23:43

Yes, I think that well, we're going to launch an episode and then maybe we'll do more as a sort of secondary episode and around the subject of intervention. You know, what does it look like when you're doing it live with somebody?

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:58

Yes. That'd be fantastic.

Greg McKeown 24:00

Yeah, I think that there's a hunger for it because I concur with you that there's different ways of looking at this subject. You can talk about it, you can talk about with people that have figured out some of it in their own life that can be helpful. But I also think people are hungry for really how to break this down for me. I mean, in fact, if your game right now, we should do like a miniature conversation about that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:23

Let's do it.

Greg McKeown 24:24

I mean, let's just start with, you don't overthink this. What's something that's essentially in your life that you're under investing in?

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:29

That I'm under investing in right now. Let's see, probably...

Greg McKeown 24:33

You've already had the thought. What's the first thought?

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:35

Oh, yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. So my time with my daughter as it relates to helping her build her first business.

Greg McKeown 24:43

How old is your daughter?

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:44

She's 12.

Greg McKeown 24:45

Do you have other children?

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:46

I have two other children.

Greg McKeown 24:47

This is the... where does she fit in the...?

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:49

She is the oldest of the three.

Greg McKeown 24:52

What's the business she wants to start?

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:54

She wants to start a cupcake business, a bit selling cupcakes, making them and ultimately doing bakery designs. It's something she is exploring and experimenting with.

Greg McKeown 25:03

When did she come to you with the idea or did you go to her with it?

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:07

We have been talking to my family for years about, when you turn 12, then I will help you start your first business. And we will spend time going through that process and helping you understand a different way to be able to earn money. So this has been something we've been talking about for years. However, it's only been recently where she has decided this is the thing I want to explore and put my time into.

Greg McKeown 25:35

Voluntary. She's only just 12. So she's been expecting this and thinking about this, but now she's 12. When did she turn 12?

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:43

Six, five months ago, which is why I feel like I am under investing in it.

Greg McKeown 25:50

Right. How much time in hours have you spent in the last five to six months on this with her?

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:57

15.

Greg McKeown 25:57

So you've average kind of an hour a week. Is that right? An hour a week on this with her?

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:02

Probably. It's more been in a few chunks and my intention was to spend an hour a week. We now have it on the calendar. Beginning literally next week, however, I am feeling very strongly that this is something that both she wants to do as well as I want to support her in. And I have not made the time.

Greg McKeown 26:24

This 15 hours is it's kind of curious to me though, because we can one to two times do you mean like, is it really as much as 15 hours? And how would that, you certainly spent a whole day with her talking about her business?

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:38

Good question. We have spent three different time periods. One was probably about three hours-ish, right around three hours, if I recall. Another was two hours. And then another one, I actually don't remember how long it was, separate time periods. And then we've had a number of other more casual conversations that were not scheduled not on the calendar, not pre planned.

Greg McKeown 27:05

Sounds more like 10 hours.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:08

That's possibly fair.

Greg McKeown 27:09

Which is fine. I just trying to get to the details of it. We can understand the practical cool things if you spent how much time per week going forward, would you feel satisfied?

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:22

That is a great question. I love questions like this. How much time would I feel satis... How much time a week would I need to spend in order to feel satisfied? That's how I'm interpreting the question. I think if I spent one hour a week with her each week, focused every week, I think that that would create a couple purposes for me. One, it would be an additional intentional way that I get to spend with just my daughter, it would allow me to focus time and energy into helping her with something that she is interested in exploring. It would allow... well, a few other purposes as well. But I think that, yeah, an hour a week would... I would feel very good about that.

Greg McKeown 28:04

Why does this matters so much to you?

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:06

That's a great question. One of the biggest reasons it matters so much to me as I want my kids to be able to have seen a number of ways to not just earn money, but really add value and contribution to the world. And I don't want the lack of exposure to be a limiter to how they get to contribute to the world. And instead, I want them to be able to have the type of mentality where they decide what they want, and how they want to go about it and are able to make that happen, for lack of a better phrase.

Greg McKeown 28:48

You want them to have freedom. And a different way of saying it is you don't want them to be stuck.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:54

That's part of it. Even more so, I would say that I want them to, well, yeah, maybe part of it is stuck. I guess you could call it, not... making sure that they're not stuck. But I would say, I'm looking for the right word here. More of it is, I really want each of my kids to be able to leave the house at whatever point that that happens, you know, with the understanding that they have a far greater potential than what they might realize this very second to contribute good to the world. And I want them to understand and have had enough life experience prior to them leaving and going to do their own things with the idea that they can uniquely contribute. And if they want something, if they are interested in something, if they have a high desire, if something becomes essential for them, that there's no reason that they shouldn't pursue it.

Greg McKeown 29:55

It's more to do with them feeling able to discern and then pursue their essential mission in life.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:03

Yeah, I think you could make that argument, which is interesting, and I've got a question about that for you later. But let's keep going.

Greg McKeown 30:09

I see this sense that you want them to be able to feel empowered, you want them to be able to know that they can shape the world around them not just take it as it is, not just live whatever role they're told to live or given to live, that they can go out there and proactively do something about it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:27

Absolutely.

Greg McKeown 30:28

And just one more time, like now that we've identified that, why does that matter so much to you?

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:33

Well, I think part of it, unequivocally, comes from how I was raised and some of the great, I'm going to call them attributes that my dad had, being able to figure anything out has served me very, very well. But also the other side of it is I didn't have exposure to it. So, I guess people, either not just running businesses, not just being able to put this kind of contribution in the world, but also being able to decide that they wanted to do something and be able to make it happen on a grand scale, on a larger scale.

Greg McKeown 31:12

You said two things there. One was aspirational. And one, I felt like came out to those pain. So one was, I want to be a great dad, I had a great dad, I had somebody who was a father. So there's something in just, I want to do at least as well as he did. And then the second part is to do with, you know, even despite being there for me and good for me, I didn't get this exposure. And so there's a, I think, a sense of, if I had had exposure to this kind of experience, if I've been taught and mentored earlier, I could have lived a different kind of life because I had a different sense of option coming into life.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:53

Yeah, I think both of those are a big part of it. And I would call both of those somewhat this partially selfish side because of what I experienced. Some of that is imposing it on my children to some degree. And then the other side of that really is much more aspirational as you said in terms of my hopes and dreams for my children.

Greg McKeown 32:14

Well, it's you're learning from your experience and you want to make sure you didn't.. you don't do any, you don't give less than you were given, but that you add to it and give them more of an opportunity, more of a sense of power in the world to affect change and to make an impact.

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:36

Yeah, absolutely. And interestingly enough, I think that, although it... I found it makes for good conversation when I say that, my 12 year old starting a business and that is interesting in some capacities, but it came, we're not really doing it because it sounds good, it came about very organically, partially because my kids were seeing myself build this business for the last eight years. And I realized as we were having conversations about it, that they really didn't understand what it took to be able to make this happen. They really didn't understand how it could be possible. They saw the benefits of it, but not necessarily the nitty gritty how to make something like this, not to say that they have to go and run businesses of any kind as they progress in life, but how to make things that are important to them happen.

Greg McKeown 33:34

Yes, you recognize that the data supports this that people that, you know, children that are exposed have an entrepreneurial experience while they're young are far more likely to be entrepreneurs later in life. They simply know by experience that it is an option. And for people that haven't had entrepreneurial experiences early in their life, it's not that they can't become an entrepreneur, of course they can. But this just simply less likely. They just don't think of it as being a real option. They know logically it is but they don't feel emotionally. If you haven't experienced when the risk is low when the child is young, then they have nothing to lose. It's an asymmetric risk want you to take, no downside possibly really great upside. So this is all under the banner of why does this matter so much?

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:21

Absolutely.

Greg McKeown 34:22

So now let's get to the make it happen.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:25

This is so much fun Greg, I'm glad we're going down this route.

Greg McKeown 34:27

I'm glad too. I'm enjoying it. When you first told me that this was the area, the way you said it was particularly, you said, you know when they turn 12 I'm going to, and then there was a pause, help them to start a business. And there was something in the way you said it that grabbed my attention because it was so general. I know just that kind of intent. I've got, I've definitely done that in my own life. And the problem is that there's no teeth to it yet. The intent is powerful, the intent is important thing in life for sure it is. But until you say when you turn 12, I will be available an hour a week one on one to talk about and help you get this business going and I will work for year for that hour, or whatever the commitment is, it's not real. It's just... we were really expecting the 12 year old to be able to show the level of initiative. That's beyond the initiative we're showing in the early days. Sometimes that happens, but it's, you know, it's a bit of a far reach. So of course you already at this tipping point, you've said that you've... but I want to get this a little more concrete. So you say it's on the calendar, when is it on the calendar for you?

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:38

4:30 on Mondays. I'm not literally checking my calendar to make sure that I marked it recurring.

Greg McKeown 35:47

Yeah, good. Is it recurring?

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:49

I hope so.

Greg McKeown 35:50

Show me. Tell me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:51

It is recurring. However, I'm so glad that I did because it is not actually scheduled as a full hour. Ah, whoo.

Greg McKeown 36:00

So you're gonna schedule it for now, we make one little adjust.

Scott Anthony Barlow 36:04

We are doing that. Thank you, Greg. At this point, you have literally changed my life and possibly my...

Greg McKeown 36:09

I love that because these small changes really are how change happens.

Scott Anthony Barlow 36:13

Agreed.

Greg McKeown 36:14

At the big general intense overrated, that overwhelming and they just don't really happen. So here we go, you've got 4:30. Now, who knows about that time? Does everybody in your home know about that commitment?

Scott Anthony Barlow 36:27

Good question. I think, let's see McKenzie most definitely does, that's my 12 year old. She and I had a second conversation about it this afternoon, as well as yesterday. Alyssa, my wife, knows about it. The other kids do not though. And I think it would be worthwhile to declare that this time is to be spent this way for both of us.

Greg McKeown 36:52

And declaring exactly the right idea because what you wanted, you're trying to make any sort of change, right, the science is there. You want awareness, excuse me, you want to have it be measurable, so that is okay, 4:30. It's now measurable. You want it to be repeatable, where you know that it's every week so it's repeatable, but the middle one that I think is a little less well done is this observable and I want to make this more observable for you. So that would be, for example, my commitment is to leave my office, which by the way, is in five minutes. So I'm giving full warning now. And I will go outside. And I will announce to my family what time it is. And that's the way for me to make it observable as to whether I am following through on this or not. It's a fun way for me to do it, but it really keeps me honest. I mean, right now is a literal example of this because really, we could talk for quite a while longer. So there's, it would be easier to continue or at least it would be normal to continue. But because I have now a record of having walked out that door and announced it day after day. I'm going to do it again today. It's a reason to do the thing that really matters. So that would be one suggestion I have for you is specifically that at 4:30 on Mondays you stand outside, wherever you're going to meet, and you don't just call your daughter and you say to everybody, it's entrepreneurial hour, whatever it is, you're going to call these on hour...

Scott Anthony Barlow 38:19

It's gonna have a name, don't you worry.

Greg McKeown 38:22

And so everybody knows this is what's happening. Of course, it will build for people anticipation for when they turn 12. So you're going to, you know, all this routine and culture in place to make it easier for you to do it and harder for you not to do it as it goes on. But it also becomes this moment of, well, instead of, how do I do it at 4:30? Well, we'll start at five, it's only an hour. Well, if it's only an hour, I guess it could be done it, you know, Tuesday, whatever. I think when you name it, you want to name it 4:30 at Monday entrepreneurial club, or something. So that you build into it, this non negotiable place in your life. And I think from this conversation, I actually suspect this is sufficient. There are many other things you could do to increase the chances of execution, if it were necessary, you could say, well, we're not going to start with an hour, you could say, I'm going to start with one minute, but we'll do it at 4:30 for one minute, until we have got that habit in place. You know, there's all sorts of things. But I think that your intent is already aligned. It's already been talked about for years, you know why you're doing it, it's already, in fact, already was put on the calendar. So you're really just looking for the final pieces to be in place to make this consistent. Maybe one thing I think you could add, is that you say, Okay, if we do it every week for X amount of weeks, then I get this prize, or we get this benefit, or you have something totally fun, completely frivolous just has to be enjoyable, so that you're incentivized to not miss one week, right? You know, you've got five, six months into this, you've got six months left, you're not going to miss a week and that to me what we just did, is a miniature essential intervention. Maybe that's too strong of a word for it. But it's just... this is what essentialism looks like. It doesn't have to be overwhelming. But it definitely needs to be what matters. Why does it matter? What's the concrete specific change you want to make? Let's reinforce that change once we've named it so that the system will support execution rather than, well, it only happens with a lot of effort. This is the ideal, and that's essentialism.

Scott Anthony Barlow 40:42

I love it. I love it because it's showing not telling. I appreciate both the opportunity to work on something that I feel is important. Well, at the same time as getting to have this conversation, I have so many more questions that we just don't have time for right now. However, I wanted to ask, where can people go? Where can people go if they want to find the podcast which is out now? I think five, six episodes in.

Greg McKeown 41:09

It's just been out for just 10 days, just launched for at the same time just to give people some options of what to look at. And we're just still learning, as I said about what we're doing. People should just go to essentialism.com. They can sign up for the newsletter there, they're going to learn everything else about it. They can sign up, you know, to anywhere that people listen to podcasts. It's available everywhere, and subscribe so you can be part of the journey, and part of this sort of mass intervention that we're trying to do.

Scott Anthony Barlow 41:40

If this is not your first episode of the Happen To Your Career podcast, you've probably heard somebody on here that their first step to work that they absolutely love, that fits their strengths, and they're excited about was going through our free eight day mini course, to figure out what fits you. And we've had now well over 30,000 people have that as their beginning step to identifying what they want in their lives. And you can do the exact same thing. And if you're interested in that, it has some really amazing questions to get you started in becoming clear on what you want and what you need in your career. And it's a great way to kick it off and determine what is most important for you, moving forward. You can learn what you're great at so you can stop wasting time in your job and start working in your career, even identify some of the internal blockages that are keeping you from fulfilling work, and wealth and career success. And begin narrowing down what you should be doing for work that's fulfilling to you. All you have to do is go to figureitout.co that's figureitout.co and get started today, enter your email an voila, will send you the very first lesson. Head on over there, figureitout.co or you can text happen to 44222 that's happen to 44222.

Scott Anthony Barlow 43:18

Over the years, we've shown you a lot of career changes that most people would consider impossible. We know from being on the inside of these, that it can be really challenging to think about, how on earth someone would make this career change from one drastically different occupation to another or how they might go and get what most people would consider to be a... impossible dream job, and many, many other things between. So that's one of the reasons why we take great pains to show you how it works from the inside. For example, how does someone go from identifying a list of organizations that they might want to work for, and getting an opportunity with their number one company on that list?

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 44:09

I work with Wanderlust and if you're not familiar with them, Wanderlust started as a yoga studio, but now has branched out and produces festivals and events throughout the world.

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:21

That's Tanya Malcolm-Revell.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 44:24

I got myself into a position where I am now a part of the production team involved in bringing Wanderlust into Europe and presently into London, into the United Kingdom.

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:36

Tanya's story is super interesting because she was trying to find her ideal opportunity in a completely different country. She's from the US, but her husband and her work relocating to London. The way she found her opportunity is even more interesting, especially since she ended up working with her number one organization that she had said "hey, this is where I want to work." So listen close throughout this conversation, as she shares exactly how she did it. All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically. Even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week, adios. I'm out.

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