Career Change For Lawyers Who Feel Stuck

on this episode

A lot of people feel stuck in their jobs. Trying to break out can seem difficult or impossible (spoiler alert – it’s not actually impossible).

Adam Bloom felt stuck from the very beginning, even as he was about to graduate law school, and entered the workforce as the 2008 recession was starting. The longer he stayed a lawyer, the more he felt stuck. After several attempts to leave, he finally learned how to set himself up to pivot into what he really wanted to be doing.

What you’ll learn

  • How Adam attempted to escape his legal career several times before making it out
  • The importance of of knowing your strengths so that you aren’t stuck in the wrong career wasting years of your life
  • How to overcome setbacks when you’re trying to get to your dream career
  • Why taking chances on yourself can lead to growth and career happiness

Success Stories

It was extremely valuable for me, for a lot of reasons! Just getting ready to make a shift to some sort of understanding what my strengths are, and just really how to bring those to the table and bring those to the forefront in my work and find work situations that are satisfying that hit on those strengths. I owe that largely to our coaching sessions!

Rob Abilez, Chief Compliance Officer & Corporate Counsel, United States/Canada

as I was diving into the bootcamp at Happen To Your Career, and I was really trying to think broadly, I had this moment of thinking, "Okay, should I even should I be a lawyer? What should I do?" so I worked with Happen To Your Career really started trying to dig deep and lay a foundation… it was helpful to have Lisa through the interviewing process, and all the little events like "oh, someone responded like this, how should I respond?" How should I deal with all the steps along the way? I also had a tendency to form myself into what I thought they were looking for and Lisa helped me be who I actually am in the interviews.

Rebecca Maddox, Attorney, United States/Canada

“It’s hard to find something that fits, that’s why so many people change careers. When I finally understood my strengths and how I could apply them it all made sense. It just made it easier to see what types of jobs and roles would fit me. In my new career I get to do the marketing that I love with a company I’m excited about.”

Kirby Verceles, Sales & Marketing Director

Scott has been a tremendous help in bringing focus to my business. Scott enlightened my path towards concentrating on my strengths and doing what I love. I recommend Scott Anthony Barlow to anyone who wants clarity about what they should be doing, and the next step to make your business successful.

Jody Maberry, Began Copywriting & Marketing Business, United States/Canada

Adam Bloom 00:01
And so I left there and finally was like, I want to try some different stuff. But I was applying for jobs. And by that point I've been practicing for six, seven years. And when you're that far into a legal career, nobody wants to let you try new stuff. They want to hire you for the stuff that you know how to do.

Introduction 00:20
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:44
Usually, when people find this podcast, they feel stuck in their careers. Sometimes, it even feels like being in jail.

Adam Bloom 00:52
And I remember the first day they were walking us around and they said they were giving us our offices. And they showed me my office. And I looked in there and I was like, "Oh, no, no. Something is, you know, I'm not going in there." You know, it was literally like the scene in the movie where the guy's been sent to jail, and he's walking down the long hallway carrying his blankets, right? And he has to go like, "here's your cell." That's how I felt where I was just like, great, you know, lock me in this box, why don't you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:21
That's Adam Bloom. Adam finished law school, he entered the workforce, right as the 2008 recession was starting, perfect time, right. Just like Han Solo, he had a bad feeling about it from the beginning. But with the recession starting, he figured he could stick it out until things turned around. Only they didn't. So then later on, he felt pigeonholed not just in law, but even specific areas of practice. He attempted to leave several times trying to figure out how to make his excitement for writing into a career. But he kept hitting wall after wall after wall after wall. Eventually, we got to meet him. And he learned his signature strengths. He learned how to pivot into what he really wanted to be doing. Here, let me actually read you something that you wrote, almost a year ago, not quite a year ago, just maybe 10 days, 11 days, short of a year ago, you wrote in response to "Hey, why do you want to make a career change?" And you said, "I've never enjoyed practicing law. I love writing, especially screenwriting, I would love to transition out of law." And you also...

Adam Bloom 02:33
It's true then, and it's true now.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:34
Yeah. So first of all, congratulations. Because like almost exactly a year later, guess what, you're out and your a week and a half into the new role here. And clearly, this is a much better fit. And I love the comment you made earlier about, you said something to the effect of, you know, "It feels like I have always been a quick learner. And I've always had that capacity for learning. But now that I'm actually doing something that I want to be doing, it's like taking off the ankle weights, and you can just run with it."

Adam Bloom 03:02
Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, it's an interesting bit of timing for me. And we can do the short version, or the medium version, or the long version of my legal career. But I graduated law school in 2008. So I remember I've always thought back on the first day of work that I had, where I got hired by one of the largest law firms in the world called Jones Day in New York. And I was working in their New York office right in midtown Manhattan. And, you know, my dad, who was an attorney took me shopping, and we bought a couple of suits. And I put one on and I take the train to Grand Central. And I remember running up the stairs to get out of Grand Central onto the sidewalk, like, "here we go first day", and I arrived at work, and everyone was like, "Welcome. Here's the deal, the economy is collapsing. A lot of our big clients have gone bankrupt, we don't really have any work for you. We don't know what's going to happen to the firm, you know, try to hold on for dear life." And so immediately, things kind of went sideways where the opportunities that I thought I was going to have to explore options within the legal profession, or even explore options outside of the legal profession. Because the truth is that, I remember having conversations with friends in law school where we were like, "This seems like it's going to be completely miserable. What is your exit strategy for this?"And we were talking about, "I'm going to invest in real estate. I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that." We were already plotting and scheming how we were going to get out of being lawyers before we graduated. And one of the reasons that I went to New York was because in my mind, I always thought of New York as being the place in America that had the most opportunity per square foot that it's like, "I don't know what I want to do next. I've always tried to be open minded and sort of follow my nose and take opportunities as they come. So I'm going to go to New York, I'm going to have a little money in my pocket. I'm going to know people. I'm going to meet people and something will come up." Well that doesn't really happen when you're in the midst of one of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. So everything shifted from, you know, wide open horizons and, like, Mary Tyler Moore sitting around in the middle of the street and throwing your hat in the air to like, just try not to starve to death. Can we do that? How about we can pay the rent and eat food? Let's do that. And so it became a situation where there weren't really options to do anything in terms of exploring career alternatives inside or outside of the legal profession. And I got basically forced down a path of becoming a corporate litigator, and then tried litigation a number of different areas and just never really found a place in it that felt worthwhile.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:30
What do you mean when you say felt worthwhile? What does that mean for you?

Adam Bloom 05:34
You know, it's interesting, I remember when I did orientation, my first year of law school was at University of Arizona, and then I transferred to UCLA where I graduated, but there was a speaker at orientation in Arizona, who gave this very impassioned speech about how being a lawyer was like being a samurai. And he said that one of his favorite feelings was to walk into a courtroom and know that everyone in the courtroom was against him. And he said, "And you take out your sword, and you just weighed in, you know, and you're just going to go and fight and come out with having persuaded everybody to be on your side." And I've worked in politics. And, you know, I kind of, I liked the idea of law as almost a fighting style, where it's like, "I don't want to get in a fight with fists, or knives or guns, I want to get in a fight with words and ideas." That's the kind of battle that I want to have. And that's what I want to do with my career. And I want to find, so I kind of felt like, you know, like Ronin, I was the wandering Samurai, I was looking for the fight that was worth having, you know. I can talk. I can write. I can think. I can strategize, who can I do this for that would feel satisfying would be worth my time. And I swear to you, in 12 years, I don't think I ever found it. And the truth was that the process of litigation was just not interesting to me. It was tedious and boring. And you know, mostly what I found was that the clients who could pay were mostly not worthwhile, and the clients who were worthwhile couldn't pay. And so if you want to have those two sides of feeling like your work is satisfying and having a comfortable standard of living within the legal profession, it's very, very hard. And the other thing that just fundamentally changed in the US economy, like the world just turned, was going into that 2008 recession. I saw the world one way and coming out of it, the world was just different. I mean, I was wrong. I had job offers with law firms in San Francisco, and I turned them down to go to New York, because I said "No, there's more opportunity in New York. New York will be more exciting" wrong. When that dust settled on that 2008 recession, the world revolved around San Francisco, it was Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, and Google, the Fang stocks, those were the people who were defining the future, running the economy, that's where it was at. And I had simply missed the boat. And it just fundamentally shifted the way I thought about where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. You know, as I say, I just never found a home in the legal profession that felt like that combination of the things that you talk about, that you and I have spoken about at length. People who share your values, people who treat you in a way that, you know, you want to be treated, that you enjoy working with, who you enjoy personally, at least to some degree, so that you can spend a lot of time around them, and work that feels meaningful and feels like a fit, and also allows you to support yourself in a lifestyle that meets your needs and your wants, frankly, and I just never found that combination of factors in legal profession. And increasingly felt ridiculous where, you know, as a lawyer, you're working insanely hard on very complicated issues and making just a lot less money than people who are working much less hard on less complicated things that look like a lot more fun. And at some point, I think for me, I woke up and I said, you know, "I don't want to be the lawyer. I want to be the client. I'm tired of helping other people with their stupid ideas. I want to work on my stupid ideas."

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:51
Let me jump in here. You know what's really interesting here, a lot of different things. But one in particular, that orientation that you were talking about where he's describing the role that he has, and looking at it as the Samurai, like, clearly law was right for that person, or at least it sounds like, based on how he's describing it where that was... even though you wanted to be able to, you know, have that war or have that battle, or have that fight with words and being able to do it in that way, like clearly law was not right for you. But I think what's so interesting there is it's so much about finding what is right. And, I know from chatting with you, and just to give a little bit of context here, this isn't something that happens all the time. But Adam and I got the opportunity to do a little bit of work together. Because as you were getting into writing, I know I'm jumping ahead in your story here, part of your experiments were to take on different types of writing and we got to do a couple of projects together, which were super fun, and it allowed me to get to know you and your story a whole bunch more. And one of the things I remember chatting with you about is there were a couple really significant low points in your law career. So I'm wondering if you can describe some of those to us? And then what caused you to decide to make the final decision to transition out of law in one way or another?

Adam Bloom 10:09
Yeah. I mean, as I said, you know, well, first of all, yeah, I thought, I guess to say thank you. I mean, the opportunities that we had to work together were really helpful to me and the career change, both from the perspective of having work and writing work to do that was interesting and had some money coming in. And also, frankly, was extra free education for me and your, sort of, philosophy of career change and, sort of, a philosophy of life overall. Because I think the thing that I came to grasp more and more was this sort of holistic approach to... yeah, you need a good job. But the idea that your job is over here and your life is over there is silly. The two are intertwined in a way that is, you know, completely inextricable, and so you need to think, not just your ideal job, but your ideal life, and how does one fit into the other. And so I felt like, I got a lot of free career coaching out of doing that writing work. So that was extra fun for me. But yeah, I mean, low points in my legal career, you know, I remember starting when you are in law school, the way you get kind of brought into the profession is you get a summer job, and I took a summer job and you interview for them. It's a very intense interview process. You have to do it during the school year while you're studying. And you know, they do call back interviews, you have to travel for the interviews often and, you know, it's very difficult to get one of these jobs, and then you get one. And I remember the first day they were walking us around and they said they were giving us our offices. And they showed me my office. And I looked in there and I was like, "Oh, no, no. Something is, you know, I'm not going in there." You know, it was literally like the scene in the movie where the guy's been sent to jail, and he's walking down the long hallway carrying his blankets, right? And he has to go like, "here's your cell." That's how I felt where I was just like, great, you know, lock me in this box, why don't you. So immediately, it was kind of there were pretty clear signals that this was not going to be a long term fit for me. And then, you know, as I said, I mean, the experience at Jones Day was very difficult, because we were in the middle of a recession. And the firm, you know, was sort of operated on the idea that they always have more work than they could possibly handle, which when the world is not ending is true. But when the economy is collapsing, it requires a different level of planning and management acumen, which frankly, they did not have. And I hung on there for two, almost three years. And then just one day, out of the blue, got a call from the partner who ran my practice group, and he said, you know, "We're gonna have to let you go, you're going to have to look for something else." And I, you know, I asked him "why". And he said, "Well, the truth is that the quality of your work here is just not up to our standards here at Jones Day", which was nonsense, because, you know, I had had an annual review with him, not two months earlier, where he had told me verbatim, "You're a hard worker, and you do good work." Two months later, my work is not up to snuff. So it was ridiculous. It was just a cover for the fact that they had too many lawyers and not enough work, and the economy was not repairing. And so I had to go. So they gave me that notice, right in like October or November, which is the worst time to be looking for a job because it's the holidays. So nobody's thinking about hiring, everybody's thinking about trying to survive to the end of the year, and then getting to stop for a couple of weeks. So it put me in this, you know, in this awkward spot of trying to find a new job when no one was hiring. It not... let stand... I mean, on top of the fact that it was this terrible deep recession. So I ended up at the New York City Law Department, which is basically the city's law firm. They have lawyers who represent the city in various capacities, and I was hired to defend the city and civil rights lawsuits. So it was basically people who accused the police of using excessive force or corrections officers of using excessive force, they would sue the city and I would defend those lawsuits. And truthfully, they ran the gamut. There were some suits where we were wrong. The city was wrong. The cops had had misbehave, the corrections officers misbehaved. And we would look at that and say, "Yeah, we were wrong here." And we would settle, we would pay out. And there were some cases where, you know, people would come in, and the lawsuit would say... "so and so was standing on the corner of this street, and that street minding his own business, when the police grabbed him for no reason, threw him against the wall, handcuffed and slammed his head into the hood. The handcuffs were too tight. They drove him around for two hours before they even took him to the station." Say, "Oh, my god." and I would talk to the arresting officer and say, "What happened here?" They'd say, "The guy's drug dealer. He deals drugs on that corner. You know, we've arrested him dealing drugs in that exact corner. 12 different times." So sometimes we were right. Sometimes they were right. But the reason I had taken the job was because after the experience of doing corporate litigation at Jones Day, I wanted to try and find something that felt more meaningful. And when you're studying law, the cliche almost is that there's nothing more meaningful or socially beneficial than fighting for people's civil rights. So I say great, let me try and find a way into that world. You know, if I get a job on the defense side, then maybe I can pivot and to a job on the plaintiff side. Well, what turns out to be is that a civil rights plaintiff's attorney is pretty much like any other plaintiff's attorney, they have to keep the lights on, you know, somebody's got to pay for the suits and the haircuts and the office and the Secretary and the Mercedes and the apartment and the kids private school. And in order to do that, you have to represent some people who you would probably rather not represent. Some of them deal drugs. Some of them are career criminals. Some of them are innocent people who were attacked by the police. No question, right. Who were wrongfully hurt by the police, but some of them are not. And I just looked at that and was like, "Not a fit for me. You know, this is not going to be the long term solution here." So I moved on from that. And I moved, as I mentioned, graduated from UCLA law, and, you know, had wanted to go back to California. So I moved back to California, got a job with a small law firm. Thinking I've done a big law firm. I've done a public sector law firm. Let's try a small law firm. Well, I stayed there for two years and did not have a great experience. That's the short answer there. I was very bored. I wasn't crazy about the people I was working with. I was not crazy about the work that I was doing. It was just dull all around. And so I left there and finally was like, I want to try some different stuff. But I was applying for jobs. And by that point, I've been practicing for 6, 7 years. And when you're that far into a legal career, nobody wants to let you try new stuff. They want to hire you for the stuff that you know how to do. So it's the quote that I would always mention to you, I think from True Detective that first season when it's Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey chatting about being cops. I think it's Woody Harrelson says, "You got to be careful what you get good at." That was always like the quote over the door for me of my legal career was like, "Yeah, dude, you went down this road. And now this is what you know how to do when the US economy. So bully for you, you know, you can be a corporate litigator. And that's it."

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:43
The Howling of Pigeons, for sure.

Adam Bloom 16:45
That's right, the howling of pigeons. Yes. So I started my own legal practice as a way to say like, well, if no one will give me the opportunity to do what I want to do, then I will create it. So I started a practice where I did some corporate litigation, but I also did entertainment law, and I did start up law, was working with new startups and helping them raise money and onboard employees and, you know, form corporations, form LLCs. And, you know, that was okay, it was better. And I really liked the feeling of independence and being in control of my own destiny. And I enjoyed running my own business, but the legal practice was still legal practice. Now, the interesting thing was at the same time, a few years earlier, actually, when I was in New York, I'd started doing stand up, just as a creative outlet in my spare time. I'd always been interested in it and I just thought I'd give it a try. And, you know, it was the recession and I'd lost the job at Jones Day. And I was like, whatever. I'm at a point now where, you know, I'm willing to take some chances. Let's throw it around a little bit. So I started...

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:40
Let's do this.

Adam Bloom 17:41
Yeah, exactly. Like, literally, what is there to lose. I started doing open mics, and I loved it. I really enjoyed it. It was fun when I got laughs. It was fun when I did not get laughs. It was fun when there was three people in the audience. It was fun when there were 100 people in the audience. I just enjoyed it. And I met someone, in the course of doing that, who was also like, he had a career, he was doing open mics. And he and I were both interested in screenwriting, which was the other thing that I'd taken up. And so I moved to LA and he moved to LA. And we ended up starting a production company together that I ran alongside my legal practice for about five years. And we settled into a niche of making what we called horror content about technology. So we had videos that went viral on YouTube, we got an investment from Snap Inc, through their yellow startup accelerator program, which was a very sort of selective, prestigious program. We had some success there. And it was a lot of fun. And I learned a lot about digital content and filmmaking and running a startup and, you know, really having the experience of not just advising as an attorney, somebody else who's saying, "Look, I think I have an investor, can you help?" But being the guy who has to go out and find the investor, you know, negotiate that deal, get the documents closed, get the money in the door, and then figure out how to grow the company, which was all really fascinating. But you know, as I say, I ran that business for five years. And after five years, we'd had some success, but we hadn't really taken off in the way that I had hoped. So I decided it was time to move on and find what was next. So in terms of low points in my legal career, and trying to leave my legal career, I look at it as there were three sincere attempts that I made to get out of practicing law. It was like I was one of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, just trying to find the weak point in the fence. I think the first one was, let's see, in 2014, I left the small firm that I had joined when I moved to LA and before starting my own practice, I thought, you know, "maybe I could get out of law entirely." And I consulted a career coach who, you know, I had one session with and I told her I was interested in screenwriting and she flew into a very red faced rant about how the entertainment business was nasty and people are each other and stab each other in the back. And so whatever I do, I should make sure not to get into that business. And then she sent me on my way. And I was like, "Okay, thanks. I'll put that in a hopper and see what I can do about that."

Adam Bloom 17:41
Yeah, exactly. Super helpful. Thank you. Yeah. So that was that and, you know, but I looked at, could I get into advertising? Could I get into real estate? Could I get into, you know, just casting about for anything like, Please, could I just stop doing this lawyer nonsense and do anything else. And one of the things I ran into was, you know, I was in my mid 30s, and I've been practicing law for a few years. And so people would say, "Well, you're too senior to be junior because you're a lawyer, and you're, you know, older, but you don't have any experience in our industry. So you're too junior to be senior." So I was kind of betwixt in between, in a way where they were like, "we just kind of don't have a place for you, I'm sorry." And so I ended up settling on starting my own practice. So that was attempt number one, abortive attempt number one to get out passing law. Number two was when my startup production company, when we got the investment from snap, they really like put their arm around us and said, "We're very excited about your company, we love the content that you guys make, we're going to help you raise more money, like we're going to put you on a rocket ship and send you to the moon." So I was, like, "Great. Train is leaving the station. Finally, here we go." And what happened was, while we were in that program, the global market for digital media venture backed digital media just collapsed around us, it was almost like, you know, it was perfect. It was like the tribulations of job. As soon as we got the investment, there were a number of very high profile bankruptcies and closures that happened in digital media, there was a company called defy media that had raised 10s of millions of dollars, 70 million, I think from venture capitalists, and just one Friday, they just sent an email to all the employees and said, "The company is over. Please do not come in on Monday, we're done." And so people looked at that and said, "Okay, well, if they can't make it, then probably this idea of like putting 10s of millions of dollars into a content company that just makes content and expecting to get it back somehow, on the back end, it just doesn't work." And that was like there had been a five, six, maybe seven year trend of people making those kinds of investments. And it came to a precipitous halt, right at the moment that my partner and I were going out and saying, "Well, yeah, they didn't make it. But you should really take a look at what we make." And they were like, "Yeah, thanks. No."

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:10
I don't think I knew about that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:25
Track record of timing,

Adam Bloom 22:27
Timing. Yes. It has not escaped my attention. I think you and I have talked about it. But, you know, it felt... I mean, I didn't try to dwell on it too much, because it's a little self pitying. But, you know, I graduated law school into the great recession. And then I tried to raise money for a digital media startup, while the digital media market was going into a crater. You know, it was just like, well, what are you going to do? So... But yeah, when...

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:55
I think it's good, though. I think it's good. Because, honestly, I'm not sure that you would have made the type of transitions and this latest transition in the same way, had you not been through that.

Adam Bloom 23:08
That's right. And, you know, that's always the story of your life is like, you know, whatever happens to you for good or for ill, you have to learn from it and you have to integrate in a way and, you know, my mom always likes to say "things happen for a reason." And my thought is, "Yeah, but you have to find the reason." you know, what I mean? Like, you have to make that reason happen. You know, for example, when I got laid off from Jones Day, one of the things and when I sat down and was like, "Okay, how do I, you know, turn this into an opportunity was, well, without the pressure of feeling like I have a major, you know, Corporation looking over my shoulder, I can do whatever I want now. I'm gonna go do stand up." And that was a tremendous experience and something that I loved and, you know, an experience that I'll never forget, that I've gotten away from, but I actually hope to get back to. But, you know, it's things like that, where you have to be able to kind of alchemize those setbacks into new opportunities. And say, the fact that this did not work out has to create a new opportunity somewhere. But the timing issue is especially interesting, because I was really bound and determined that I wanted to be on time for something. And so to feel, you know, as I said, I had first approached the crypto space in 2017, 2018, and so to feel like that wave coming up underneath me in 2020 and 2021 I was like, I get it, you know, like I could be on time for this. I'm a little bit late, at least relative to, you know, people who created these technologies in the like, starting in 2010. But I said I think I'm still early enough that I could get in on this because by and large, most people, even most of my friends, like, I have a brother who's a software engineer and he barely understands anything about crypto, he's just not very interested in the space. He knows a little but he doesn't know what the way that I do. And when I would talk to him about it, he would kind of shrugged me off and be like, "I don't know." So I was like, wow, well, if, you know, if it's still taking this long to sink in, then I could be on time for this. There's an opportunity here to get in, maybe not on the ground floor but like on the first or the second floor, which is close enough, we'll take it. I just felt very keenly that as I studied the technology and learned about what under pinned all of it were, it's really... people look at it, and they're like, so which coin should I buy? How do I make money on this this week? And it's like, now you got to zoom out, pull back and understand, like, the point of this technology is not this coin or that coin, the point is that they are remaking from the ground up the architecture of the internet in a way that is going to make the entire internet world more open, more democratic, and more accessible and take a quantum leap, hopefully, towards the original vision of the internet, which was to create a digital space where any person could realize their potential to do whatever it is that you can come up with to do on the internet; to access information, to access business, to access education, to connect with other people, to learn ideas, to share ideas. I mean, if you want to live in Manhattan, you have to buy an apartment in Manhattan, right? You got to physically go. But short of that, there are so many things you can do on the internet that create opportunities for people that simply did not exist. And you can open a business in Oklahoma out of your garage and have customers all over the world. And it's not even a big deal.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:18
Or Moses Lake Washington and...

Adam Bloom 26:20
Moses Lake Washington, yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:21
All over the world.

Adam Bloom 26:22
Yeah. And you know, and to connect with them, and to do business with them, and to really take the next step forward in unlocking finance and business away from the sort of large intermediaries, like, the legacy banks who take fees, and you know, and credit card processors who insert themselves in the middle of your business deals and charge fees that they spend on CEO salaries and advertising expense accounts, and why do I have to pay for that? And you know, companies like Google and Facebook who say, "Yeah, we'll give you these products, if you give us all of your personal information. Like everything you've ever done." Well, what if I could get the product without having to give up all of my data? I mean, what if that was a thing? And that is really the promise of blockchain technology and cryptocurrency technology as I see it. And to me, that's fascinating, because I'm old enough to remember when the internet was born. And while I was playing basketball, and talking to my friends in high school on instant messenger, there were people who were literally remaking the world with this technology. And I just sort of let it go by. I wasn't interested in software engineering, I wasn't interested in web design. I didn't get it. I didn't see it. And it all happened sort of while I was focused on other things, because I was 18 or 20. But this time, I was like, I'm not... fool me once, right? Shame on you. Fool me twice, it's time to get on this. That was my attitude approaching the crypto space, was there's a lot of opportunity here and I'm going to find something for myself within this space. This is, I think, going to shape the next 20, 30 years and I want in and so what was interesting was through the process of working with you and working with Mo was really starting to zero in on, number one, this question of, "what do I want?" It's an incredibly vexing question. And I think I often think about the story that you told when we were working on or writing projects together about being an HR person, and having this experience of interviewing people and asking them, "Tell me something that you disliked that you don't want to repeat from your prior job." And they had a laundry list of 50 things that they did not want to happen again, and then saying, "Okay, now tell me something that you affirmatively positively do want from this job that will allow you to achieve your goals of taking this role." And people didn't have an answer. You know, by and large, they knew what they were running from, but they didn't know what they were running to. And I think that for me, there was some of that, it was very easy to wake up in the morning and saying, "I feel unhappy. I feel bored. I feel under compensated, underappreciated and uninterested in my work. I don't want to do this anymore." "Great. What do you want to do instead?" And I was not certain that I knew that answer. And so that is, at least for me, and I think, based on our conversations, you know, and what you've told me about your experience with other clients, I suspect that's the work for a lot of people is figuring out what do you actually want? What is your ideal life? And how does your professional work fit into that? And what does that look like everything from, you know, do you want to work from home? Or do you want to work in an office to what profession, what sector the economy? You know, do you want your own business? Do you want to work for a company? If so, what kind? You know, what size? Nailing down all those things and going through, you know, the puzzle method and then doing the career experiments to say like, "Alright, well, I like writing. Let's try writing. You know, what writing gigs can I get? I like writing. I like creativity. I like producing videos, could I do that for an ad agency?" And you know, I approached that a little bit. I was just sort of throwing it around and seeing what felt good and where people responded to me and where I could find a connection. One of the tools that I took advantage of that, you know, I think you often refer people to was that Gallup StrengthFinder test, which was a very interesting sort of experience. Because, you know, what I took from that was, number one, they said a lot of things that I think I believe to be true where they're like, "You enjoy ideas, you enjoy sort of high level creativity and strategy and writing." And I was like, "Sure, yes." You know, and... but they put... there were a couple of things. They put the word strategist around it, they put the word futurist around it, you know, I was teasing my girlfriend, I was like, "I took this test and they say, I'm a futurist. Lucky you. You know, you're dating a futurist." So I started like, Googling around where I was like, well, that sounds cool. What does a futurist do? It turns out most of the people who are, you know, futurist, like qua futurist where that is their whole title, they basically write books about what they think is going to happen in the next 30 years. Which is okay, but didn't 100% feel like exactly what I wanted to do. But it did get me focused on the fact that I do have an interest in technology, and that I do have an interest in trying to predict trends and see where things are going. And so again, when crypto bubbled up, it kind of checked that box where I was like, "I can see this, this is a high tech futuristic kind of thing that is happening right now that I could conceivably get in on." And so it did help focus me on that opportunity. And also the fact that they had called me out and said like, "You're a strategist." So just when I was looking around, like even searching on LinkedIn, or searching on Google and saying, who's hiring for what, I started throwing the word strategist into my searches, and it opened up, before I've been saying copywriter. I'm writer, I'm a copywriter, what do you need for copywriting? And so I was seeing a list of opportunities for those kinds of roles. But then when I threw strategist into it, I started seeing other roles, and that was very interesting. And the other thing I'll say, that came out of the StrengthsFinder test that I was not expecting was they have a whole section on your weaknesses. And one of the weaknesses that they highlighted for me was, "You don't place a particular emphasis on forming personal relationships or forming relationships at work." And I was like, "how dare you?" You know, but then I thought about it. And I was like, "Look, I've been a lawyer for 12 years, I haven't liked being a lawyer. Most of the people who I met at work were other lawyers. So naturally, I was not terribly excited about going out for drinks with them after work and talking about all the boring crap that we had worked on all day." So yeah, I had I realized neglected that part of just my personal development, my professional development. And I started placing a lot of emphasis, a lot of emphasis on just talking to people, just doing the thing of reaching out to people on LinkedIn, reaching out to people however I could, "Hey, what you're doing seems interesting. Can we chat for 15 minutes?" You know, people who wrote for video game companies. People who, you know, I found a job listing for a position that was called Content Strategist. And I read that and it was like, facepalm, you know, I couldn't believe it. I was like, "Yes, that's an exact description of what I should be doing. I can't believe I didn't think of that." So I applied for that job and ended up not getting it. But I reached out to the guy who ran the company, and he and I ended up chatting. And, you know, there were a lot of things like that. There was just a lot of like, connecting, activating the network, who do I know? Who do they know? What can I talk to them about? Just anything to try and build connections, and it would spark ideas. You know, eventually, what I came to was I wanted to start a company that I pitched for a few months called backer, which was a marketplace to crowdfund movies using NFT's, which is a lot of businessy cryptocurrency jargon, and I won't give the whole pitch. But basically, it was like a version of Kickstarter where you paid with cryptocurrency. And what you got was an NFT, which is a unique sort of digital receipt, a token that proves your ownership of really anything. And in this case, it was going to be a unique piece of artwork that represented an ownership share of a movie. And so I worked on that pitch for a few months and connected with a lot of new people and got a lot of interest in it. But two things became clear, number one, was that it was going to take me a while to get funded. I thought I could do it quick because crypto was very hot. But in May the crypto market collapsed and, you know, sort of had been growing very quickly and took a breath, you could say charitably. So at that point, it was like the energy, the frenetic energy that had been in that space left. And so I was like, "Okay, well, I still believe in this, but it's going to be a longer road. It's going to take more time. There's not the overabundance of hype and enthusiasm that there was before the crash."

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:26
Adam, tell me about what you get to do now.

Adam Bloom 34:29
Yeah, sure. So what I eventually came to was, I'd been trying to do backer for a few months, and it was coming along, but it was moving slower than I wanted. And I said, "I really want to find something that can start getting me and come now." And so I started looking for opportunities, like, I was just going to LinkedIn and running searches that said "blockchain strategist" and I surfaced a job listing with Coinbase that was hiring content strategists. And so I very simply just submitted my resume and two days later got an email from an HR person at the company and went through a recruitment process and got an offer and accepted and joined the company. And so what I'm doing now is I'm creating both writing content, potentially doing content and other media as well, that we're considering and sort of developing an overall strategy for the content for Coinbase, which is a cryptocurrency exchange, if people don't know, it's a place where you can buy and sell cryptocurrencies. That recently had an IPO. So they're the first crypto exchange to go public, definitely in the US, and I believe in the world. And so beyond the exchange platform, that was their sort of first big product, they're expanding into a lot of new things. And so there's a lot of messaging and content work to do around, number one, continuing to bring people into the crypto space in terms of just allowing them to understand, what is a cryptocurrency? What is a blockchain? How do you invest in this? Why would you want to? How does this all work? And what does it mean? And why should you care about it? But then number two, to start thinking, sort of in a forward looking way about, what are the things that the company is going to do next? And how do we communicate with people about those? And so there are a lot of different opportunities in terms of consumer facing content that we can create, that I'm helping sort of strategize and create. And so it's everything from, you know, help pages to other kinds of media that we're looking at, to put out, to just kind of explain to people what this technology is and how it works. I mean, I gave you the basic high level pitch about, you know, what they call web 3.0, that it's a whole new internet.

Scott Anthony Barlow 36:38
How does this tick the boxes or many more of those boxes for you in terms of what you wanted? Because we got to talk all the way through, like way back when you were lawyering it up during the early stages of your career, and that was not ticking very many boxes, in so many different ways. And then for each progression, and even though you felt like you missed out on different sets of timing, there were so many learnings from that, that allowed you to be able to realize pieces of what you didn't need. So how does this next evolution of that tick many more of those boxes?

Adam Bloom 37:13
Yeah, I think that, number one, I wanted to be engaged with subject matter that I felt like was interesting and exciting and fascinating and forward looking. I had never been able to do that as an attorney, it always sort of devolved into the same kind of arguments about nothing. You know, I used to say it was like the monopoly man versus Mr. Burns, and who really cares who wins, you know. This rich guy, or that rich guy. Frankly, the great innovation of corporate litigation is the best alternative to physical violence. You know, in the Middle Ages, it was like, if two rich people got in a fight, they just went and got all their serfs, and said, "Put down here your crappy plows and stop raking your dirt. I need you to go fight a war for me." Well, so what we do instead of that now was we have lawsuits. And that's great. But I don't know if it's where I need to spend my life. It feels like I'm contributing to something that is meaningful, and interesting, and fascinating, and innovative. And frankly, I mean, my jaw is just constantly on the floor, hearing some of these kids who are like half my age who were talking about quadratic voting, and talking about, you know, consensus mechanisms, and are just going at 100 miles an hour spinning up ideas for how to organize businesses, how to democratize the flow of money around the world, how to open up opportunities for artists to connect with their audiences without having to go through the sausage grinder of intermediaries, like, studios and record labels. It's fascinating, and the possibilities are literally infinite. You know, I'm just astounded by the amount of sheer intellect that is in this space. And frankly, you know, I used to joke that, like that poem, how, you know, I saw the best minds of my generation wasted something, something, I always used to think I saw the best minds of my generation making exercise app, like, "what are you all doing?" you know, it is just what they call web 2.0, this sort of App Store and Facebook and Google, it was like, at a certain point, this stuff has ceased to feel revolutionary, it has ceased to feel like it's moving us forward. And it has just become a cash grab for big corporations. And so it is very exciting to feel like there are real ideas here. I mean, ideas that I admit humbly are beyond me to come up with. I'm just excited to engage with them and to be a part of what is going on in this space. Because I really think it at least has the potential to reshape so much of the economy and especially the internet in the next 20, 30 years. So it's creative. I like the people I'm working with. And for the first time, I feel like I have people who are saying to me, you know, when I was a lawyer, it was like, you know, "You're doing a good job at this and this, but we really need to tone it down. It's too many jokes, it's too much talking, you're talking too much." I mean, I've had a litany like a murderer's row of partners at law firms tell me, "When we're in a meeting with a client, you got to stop talking so much. You know, I'm the partner." So it's like, "I get it, but I know this stuff better than you and what you're telling them is wrong." So you know, it's nice to finally be in a place where I feel like, and this is one of the things that I think you and I talked a lot about, just sort of as a career goal is where you feel like you can bring your entire self to it. You know, like, when I was doing creative stuff as a lawyer, I felt like I had to hide it. That god forbid, anyone at my firm should know that I do stand up. You know now, it's like, I have a podcast, and they're happy about it at Coinbase. They're like, "Great, you know, don't share any confidential information. And, you know, don't get us in a fight with anybody. But other than that, go have fun."

Scott Anthony Barlow 40:50
So let me ask you about that really quick here. Because I think that that is important. You and I got into some really deep discussions through some of the projects that we're working on about how, even though you might get to what you want, even though it can be wonderful, you can still feel a variety of different things. And I know that you experienced variety of different feelings, even though you were getting some of what you want, as you were experimenting in different areas, too, along the way, even before this opportunity. And I'm curious, so first question is, what does that feel like now that you can bring so much more yourself to work that you couldn't before? And then two, what has been wonderful about that, or hard about that?

Adam Bloom 41:31
Yeah, I'd say what has been wonderful about it is it really felt like going into my legal career. I felt it at the time, I felt it during the 12 years that I was trapped in it. And I feel it looking back is that I just missed my turn, you know what I mean? I just missed an exit, like, I should not have been in there. And I just couldn't get out of it. And so to be working now for a technology company and doing work that is creative, and collaborative, and really forward looking feels like what I should have been doing in the first place. I learned a lot as a lawyer, I met a lot of people, I had a lot of wonderful experiences. It's not like it was, you know, I wouldn't say it was a waste of time. But I would say it was not the best use of, you know, my efforts, like it just did not feel like what I needed to be doing with myself. And so it feels like yeah, "This is it. This is definitely, finally, the track that I should have been on in the first place." What's hard about it ism honestly, there is part of me that is like, gee, it's like I'm the dog coming out of the shelter that is waiting to get kicked. Where I'm like, "You guys really liked me, you know, like, you really are okay with me, it's really..." I just keep waiting for like the bad thing to happen. You know what I mean? Like, for a few days before I started at Coinbase, I had trouble sleeping, because I was like, you know, there's something going to happen here, you know, something is going to go wrong here, like, and just waiting to find out that similar to every law firm I ever worked for that it was all smiles and handshakes and backslaps. And then as soon as you got in the door, it was some sort of waking nightmare. And I was sort of waiting for that to happen. And it didn't. And so it took me a few days to accept, like, yeah, this could actually be a good place, this could actually be somewhere where I want to get up and go every day, you know, at least metaphorically, because we work remotely but still. And so I think there was a little bit of an adjustment that I'm probably still settling into of, number one, like you don't have to pretend to be... because lawyers, I think, in large part, get off on behaving like lawyers, you wear the suit, you stand up straight, you speak a certain way, you act a certain way, you know, you comb your hair a certain way, everybody's there because they want to be a lawyer, and even the ones who aren't there are faking it, because god forbid, they get caught out, you know, like being a weirdo. You know, it's different to be in a place where I don't have to do any of that. And then to understand like, okay, so this is a different dynamic, how do I fit into it in a way that feels honest, and so to speak true to who I am, but at the same time is like accommodating to my teammates? I mean, how do you do this in a way that is appropriate for this industry and for this company? Because it's, you know, it's a different rhythm. And it's a different environment than a law firm or, you know, a legal practice or anything like that. So there's an adjustment there. And I just tried to be very mindful of like, the etiquette and what's appropriate, and where I'm allowed to make a joke and where I really shouldn't. So yeah, that's the ongoing adjustment, but it's not, you know, catastrophic. It's just something that I need to be mindful of that like, yeah, "you can be yourself but you know, you need to get stuff done. And you need to make sure that you're making everybody else feel comfortable around you that you're not stepping on toes" so to speak. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:36
When we started working with you just under a year ago, I guess looking back on that, a lot has happened for you. You've done a really really nice job of making a lot happen for yourself. So first of all, just wanted to say that because that... I know I've told you that before but is so true, and I just feel very compelled to say that, make sure that you know that again. And then my question, even with all that, I know this was far... this transition was the furthest thing from easy for you. It was not that easy at all. So I'm curious about what were some of the hardest parts for this most recent transition for you?

Adam Bloom 45:15
Yeah. So there are two that I would highlight: number one was, well, before we started recording, we were chatting a little bit. You mentioned I'd had a job with a startup here in LA that they hired me to write content about, sort of, certain legal subject matter. And they offered me a full time job. And it was the first job that I had been offered to do anything other than be a lawyer since I worked on the presidential campaign in 2004. So like, 16 years, 17 years, you know, I got the offer. And it was funny, because my girlfriend and I had taken a weekend and just gotten a hotel room in LA, so that we had a sort of little staycation and we knew the offer was coming. So like, there was a bathtub in the room. So we had a bubble bath, and we had a bottle of champagne. And I got the offer. And I looked at the offer. And she looked at me and I was like, "This is not good." I was like, "This doesn't work." So like that was... it was a very sort of funny scene. But yeah, as you know, I mean, as you and I discussed a lot at the time, I talked to them about it and was like, "Listen, this isn't quite what I was hoping for, can we talk about this?" And ultimately, we were not able to come to an agreement, and I turned it down. And so at the time, it felt like, wow, I was obviously had some regret around that, and was that the right decision? And you know, was that a mistake? And what am I going to do now? But I think you and I talked about it. And you said very often that you find that with people who change careers successfully, somewhere along the line, they'll get a job, but turn it down because they realize it's good, but it's not ideal. And so to be honest, upon reflection, I felt sort of empowered that, like, somebody could offer me a job, not as a lawyer. And rather than have this desperate, frenzied attitude that you always had as a lawyer, especially during the recession of, "you need a job, there's a law firm offering you a job, just take the job, they'll give you money, you know, like don't interrogate it, don't go asking them for this or that. Just say yes, and move on. Sit at the desk, do the work, take the money, go home, try not to get fired." So to be able to actually come to a situation and say like, "Yeah, this is good, but it's not great. I really appreciate it, guys. But I don't think this is for me. Thanks, anyway." that in and of itself was kind of empowering. And obviously, you know, a few months later, I ended up with this offer from Coinbase, that as I've told you is just a much better fit all the way around, I didn't have to do anything related to law, which was a huge relief. I got to work on something that was much more interesting. And it was just, you know, it's a better established company. And I think all the way around was just a better fit for me. So the turning down the job offer was the first challenge I would highlight. The second one was I spent a few months trying to, as I mentioned, raise money for this startup. It was taking longer than I thought, I was living off of my savings. And I looked at my bank account, and I did a little back of the envelope math and realized that I was going to be out of money pretty soon. And so I had to start looking for something that would make money right away. And I had been applying for some part time copywriting gigs, but just wasn't landing anything, which can happen, copywriting is like that. So I actually started emailing recruiters and former legal clients and saying, you know, "I'm back open for business. If you need legal help, I'm lawyering again. I can help you." And I had some people give me a couple of assignments. So I was right back on the precipice of going back to practicing law just by pure economic necessity. And I was like, "Here we go again, man, third try and just can't get the escape velocity to get out of the atmosphere of practicing law." like I was right on the edge of the cliff, and I submitted this resume to Coinbase, at the same time that I was emailing and talking to legal recruiters and legal clients, just to try and get some work just to make some money because I needed income. And right as I thought, you know, I failed again, this will be the third time that I've tried to escape from my legal career, and it's not going to work out, again, I got the job from Coinbase, it was just that close. But that was yeah, really scary moment where I thought, "oh my god," you know, because that was always the fear was that, you know, I had gotten myself into this hole, and I was never going to be able to get out. And you know, my father had been an attorney. And I'd watched him his whole life, just sort of with the attitude that law was not quite a fit for him, but he had no choice and he was stuck in it. And he was never happy about it. And I was bound and determined that that was not going to happen to me, but it was starting to get very scary. You know, like, "my god, am I going to be able to get out of this?" And then I did. You know, and the thing that I would highlight is, I didn't know that I was going to get that job. I didn't have a personal connection at Coinbase. I was just, you know, for all the bad timing that I've had that we've talked about, yhat was just astonishingly good timing. Coinbase was on a hiring sprint, the whole economy was coming out of the pandemic, there had been this massive reshuffling of people switching jobs, lose jobs, leaving jobs. So everyone or many people were hiring for a lot of things. And in the blockchain, crypto industry, there was a huge need for people who understood both crypto and content. And, you know, I had a screening interview with the HR person. And then I had the first interview with Eleanor, my supervisor, and five minutes into the interview, she called me a unicorn. She said, "The fact that you know crypto and you know content..." she said, "You're a unicorn." And I was like, well, that's a good sign. You don't ordinarily call someone a unicorn, and then tell them that you're not gonna make them an offer. You know, right away, it was just came together. And it was, if you... I mean, I've looked back at the form that I filled out for you and for Mo when I started the career change process, and they said, "What do you want to do?" I said, "I want to be a TV writer." That's where this started. And so you know, I was not like, "I want to be a cryptocurrency content strategist", not one of those words was anywhere in my mind as a career option when I started this process, it really was, like, you know, requires a sort of, I would say, radical open mindedness, you just have to accept the fact that you don't necessarily know where this is going to go or how it's going to get there. And you know, like the Animaniacs theme song, you have to expect the unexpected, just lean into it, just let it wash over you. Because it's an adventure. And you know, it has ups and it has downs and setbacks. But if you just keep going, just stick with it and keep going, you will get there. And that was why I got here.

Scott Anthony Barlow 51:27
What I think is so interesting out of... do you remember, and just a little bit other context, we have a really amazing piece of content that Adam helped us write and put together and it took several months, we call it fondly our career changer guide. However, we had half the team up to Moses Lake Washington, and I remember being a phone call with you, because we're working on a section of this guide, right? And I remember you saying, "Look, I'm working on the section and it doesn't make sense." And it turns out that, you know, we ended up calling this section, you know, what happens when you experience setback. And so it's all about overcoming setbacks and adjusting your plan. And I remember having the conversation with you where we're talking about, you know, the strange thing that happens over and over and over and over again, almost like clockwork, is just when people are ready to throw in the towel, that means that they're so close. And strangely enough, even though you wrote about this, like you experienced the exact same thing, where you're like, you know, on the precipice, as you called it, ready to go back to law, and like, this might just not work for me. And then that's where the opportunity was actually on the horizon. And that's what we see something like that in various different ways, every single time. So just want to ask your thoughts on that, because you and I hadn't talked about that exact thing. But it's, even though you're in it, you knew about it, you helped us write about this thing. It still happened.

Adam Bloom 53:00
You know, I think that it reminds me of the the Mark Twain quote, and I'm paraphrasing, but "it's much easier to give advice than it is to take it", the reality is that, you know, to understand that you're going to go through a journey, and it's going to have ups and downs does not release you from the obligation to go through those ups and downs. And it was very interesting for me, especially writing that career change guide, because I thought of it in the framework of a screenplay and just a basic sort of narrative arc, where you do have what they call the "all is lost" moment. Where it's like, I can't go backwards. But I don't see a way to go forwards. And I'm just stuck here. And in movies, this is often where like characters will sort of contemplate just dying, where it's like, "I can't take it anymore, can this just be over?" So you know, that was what I always thought about was just that moment of coming to the point where you absolutely don't see a way to go home, but you don't see a way to reach your destination. And knowing that that can happen, as I say, doesn't release you from the obligation to go through it. You just have to accept like, yeah, that's not going to be a fun moment. But you're going to have to go through it. And I think that especially one thing that I learned running my startup, the production company, was we had so many challenges as all startups do. And I would get frustrated, I would get upset, and I would, you know, lose sleep in whatever I did, but it came down to one question which was "Okay, well, do you want to quit or do you want to keep going?" And that fundamentally is the choice. Now, even when I was calling up former legal clients and legal recruiters and saying, you know, tail between my legs, I need some legal work. I was still doing the work, reaching out to people, submitting resumes, you know, moving my feet, just like keep moving forward. You're a hockey player. So you'll appreciate this. I played a little hockey when I was 14, and I was not built for it. I was, like, as I am now, very tall, very skinny, better suited to basketball but I wanted to play hockey. And I remember we did this exercise that was supposed to be training for what it feels like to get body checked where they lined everybody up next to the boards and then they had you skate past the row of like 20 or 30 kids and everybody just got to check you, you know. And the only piece of advice they gave you was just keep your feet moving. That was it. And they just sent you and they called it the gauntlet and they just sent you down the road and kid after kid just like slammed you into the boards, and, you know, two thirds, three quarters of them were bigger than I was. And I was just getting worked. And I was like falling down off my feet. And they're like, pushing you down. It was, you know, I remember that. I mean, 30 years, 25 years later, that was a rough exercise. But that's like, you know, at some point, that's the advice is like, just keep moving your feet, there is no way to go through this that will allow you to do it without getting hit, you're going to get hit, you just have to keep moving your feet. And it's like the same thing I say, you know, I have a son, Ezra, who's about to turn seven. And you know, when I would chat with other parents when, especially when he was younger, and he was just starting to run around and go on the playground and stuff, and we were talking about like, "Well, what do you do when they fall? What do you do if they're going to hurt themselves?" And I would say, you know, "You can't teach them not to fall. You can only teach them how to fall." And that, you can read as much or as little into that as you want, but that's my adorable metaphor. It's like, look, the bad things are going to happen. But if you can just get up and keep going, you will get where you're going. But you, you know, it's on you. Like, the choice fundamentally every time is, do you want to quit? Or do you want to keep going?" and it's your choice, and you have to own it. If you give up, that's a valid choice. You can give up. It's hard. It's completely valid to say, "This is not for me, I give up. I'm just going to go back." But that's your choice. Otherwise, you have to absorb the fact that like, yeah, there were difficult moments, there were confusing moments and frustrating moments and very scary moments where the bank account is going down, and there's no money coming in. And I'm not figuring out the career change. And I don't even know necessarily what I'm looking for. And I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. But I just decided to keep going. It's just that simple. Yeah, that's what I take from it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 56:49
That is amazing. I so appreciate you taking the time, and coming on and sharing your story. And I've told you this several times over along the way as you and I have gotten to have chats, but I just... this is super fun for me. I've been looking forward to this conversation for the podcast for a long time for your story. And I'm so glad that we get to have it.

Adam Bloom 57:12
Thanks, great work. Well, I have the unfair advantage that you and I have spent many hours talking through this stuff for our writing projects. So I've done like probably seven or eight dry runs, we could release, you know, an album of, you know, eight hours of our conversations about career change.

Scott Anthony Barlow 57:28
Oh my goodness, yeah.

Adam Bloom 57:29
Listen, I'm happy to do it. I'm very grateful for the help. And you know, it's been a pleasure to get to know you and to, you know, to have the opportunity to, sort of, become a part of your business and your life. I love what you guys do. It's made a tremendous difference in my life. And I was happy to contribute what I could to the content that we made together. And yeah, man, I mean, I'm just looking forward to keeping in touch. So I'm happy to do this. I hope it was helpful to people. And I think it's going to be a very exciting next few years for both of us. So I'm looking forward to it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 58:02
Hey, many of the stories that you've heard on the podcast are from listeners that have decided that they wanted to take action and taking the first step of having a conversation with our team to try and figure out how we can help. And if you want to implement what you have heard, and you want to completely change your life and your career, then let's figure out how we can help. So here's what I would suggest, just open your phone right now and open your email app. And I'm going to give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com, just email me and put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And then when you do that, I'll introduce you to the right person on our team. And you can have a conversation with us, we'll try and understand your goals and what you want to accomplish in your career no matter where you're at. And we can figure out the very best way that we can help you and your situation. So open up right now and send me an email with 'Conversation' in the subject line scott@happentoyourcareer.com.

Andy Molinsky 59:15
This point my career I'm a professor, I teach for parts of the year students, undergraduates and graduate students, MBA students. I increasingly, over the past five to seven years, have started to do a lot of consulting and executive education and keynote speaking. I also do a lot of writing, a lot of non academic writing. I do some academic writing, but I do a lot now of non academic writing. In other words, writing for general audiences. I write for Inc.com, Psychology Today, Harvard Business Review, LinkedIn, and then I, you know, I've written a couple of books. I picked my kid at school a lot. So I suppose I have a part time bus driving job.

Scott Anthony Barlow 59:58
In my conversation with Andy, get to learn the five psychological roadblocks that keep you in your comfort zone and stunt your experiential growth. This is super, super cool. And then how to distinguish between which of your goals are worth following through the discomfort because there's always discomfort in some capacity anytime it's associated with things that you want in your life. And then what are the steps to take to get out of your comfort zone to be able to actually achieve those goals? Because as it turns out, none of the rest of it matters unless you can act upon it. So you know that we like to get you outside your comfort zone here, and turns out, well, Andy Molinsky is a great source of how to do that, he wrote a book and I loved his new book, actually, it's called "Reach: A New Strategy to Help You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Rise to the Challenge, and Build Confidence". All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

How To Land Your Ideal Role When You Feel Unqualified

on this episode

Do job qualifications always matter?

The simple answer is not always. Many times the listed job qualifications are there to automatically filter out candidates so the employer doesn’t have to, and fear of applying for a role without meeting every qualification stops many people from ever going after what they truly want. 

Cheri found herself in a job that was immediately not what she thought it would be and while she was searching for a new role, she initially bypassed the roles she really wanted because she didn’t feel qualified. Fast forward – Cheri talks about what she did in order to land the role she wanted anyway.

What you’ll learn

  • How to not settle or sacrifice what you want and need for a job that “looks good”
  • How your fear of negotiation may actually be beneficial
  • Why it’s important to go for a role you want even if you don’t feel fully qualified
  • How to move on and let go of roles that aren’t a fit
  • Why it’s imperative to know what is important to you when looking at roles

Success Stories

Cheri Thom 00:01

So I switched jobs. And that job was great, but then we moved. So I switched jobs again. And the job that I took, what I was told during the interview isn't what the job ended up being. And I was really, really unhappy.

Introduction 00:22

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:47

After going through all the work that it takes to get a job, you realize, almost on day one, that it's nowhere close to what you expected it was going to be. In fact, it's far worse than that. It's the opposite of what you expected is going to be. Well, if you were in that situation, you'd probably start looking for a new role, right? Well, that's what happened to Cheri. You heard her voice in the introduction. She realized early on that her new role was not totally what she expected it to be. She became super unhappy, and started searching for a new job within a month. She applied to a ton of roles but kept hitting the dead end. But here's the thing, if we fast forward, spoiler alert, we'll see that she made it to one of those roles that when she saw it in the job description, she originally didn't feel qualified for it.

Cheri Thom 01:41

I wanted to be a product owner. I have found that I really like that idea of, kind of, being a subject matter expert and, kind of, owning a process or product. And I hadn't been looking for that when I was looking for jobs because I didn't feel like I was qualified for it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:58

One thing we see all the time that's really unfortunate is so many people limit themselves to roles that they feel like they check all the boxes for every single bullet point on the entire job description. I see this all the time. You find the listing, you immediately scroll down to all the job requirements, you mentally check off everything as you go. But then you find there are one or two qualifications that you don't have, you sigh and then you hit the back button to check on the next listing. No good, right? A lot of times, the people that get hired in those situations don't have all the qualifications, it happens so frequently, I can't tell you how much, you know, coming from my HR days and recruiting days. And certainly, we see that all the time here at Happen To Your Career as we're helping people. But I want you to take a listen to Cheri's story because this is one of those situations. She navigated through all the mental and real challenges that come up along the way. So you'll hear her describe that. But to really make sense of it, you need to learn a little bit about where she started. Here's Cheri telling a little bit about where her career path began.

Cheri Thom 03:15

When I was in college, I went to school to be a software developer[a][b]. And, I don't know, it's probably my last year of school. And I'm like, okay, so I can't sit in a cube and write code all the time, because that was my vision of what a developer did. So I didn't. And I started working in healthcare in software development, but I was a business analyst, or actually, I was a software product analyst. So I was responsible for the analysis of solutions and the testing and the support. And I loved it. And it was really a perfect fit, because it was, you know, the technological side of things, but also, kind of, you know, the business side, the personal side, the social side of it. So I did that for 12 years[c]. And then the company I was working for just went through a lot of change. And it wasn't the same place that it had been. So I switched jobs. And that job was great, but then we moved. So I switched jobs again. And the job that I took what I was told during the interview isn't what the job ended up being. So whether that was me not having a full understanding of what to expect, or there was deceit in the interview, I don't know. But it wasn't what I was expecting. And I was really, really unhappy, really unhappy. So I was there for, oh gosh, I probably started looking for jobs within a month of starting. But doing it, you know, going on Indeed, or FlexJobs, or any number of other tools looking for jobs, and I just was not getting any hits, like, no emails, no interviews, nothing. And that went on for a little over a year[d]. And then I decided I need to do something different because I needed to get out of that job. So that's what I contacted you guys and it started by talking with Phillip. And I remember I started crying on the phone with him because during that interview I felt like I'd been lied to, like, to start my new job. So I said that, "I don't trust myself. I don't trust myself to make the right decision, you know, going forward. Like, I don't know if that's what I want to do." He then said to me, "Well, you can't help that you weren't given the full picture, like, you can't hold yourself accountable to that. So it's not that you don't trust yourself, it's just, you know, you just need to change the way you're doing things." So that was great. So then I started working with Jennifer, and she's fantastic. And we worked on my Ideal Career Profile, and we worked on my strengths, and all of the things after that, and that's kind of how it started.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:34

That is so cool. And it also makes me wonder, what were some of the pieces of that role that were so different for you? Because it was clearly, in every interaction you and I have ever had, in any way, it seemed that it was a clear misfit. And it was a clear, I don't know, a bait and switch is the wrong word. Because that's not really what it means. But it was completely different compared to what you believe was going to be versus what it actually was by a longshot, not by riding it. So help me understand what were some of those pieces, what's a couple examples that were so different?

Cheri Thom 06:09

So I had been a business analyst for quite a long time prior to starting there. And you know, I spent time with the customers, I worked with them to figure out what they wanted to do with their tools to make their jobs more efficient, or add functionality or whatever it was. So when going into this role, that was what I expected. And that's kind of what I told them what it was going to be. So they were taking all of these existing tools and condensing them because they needed just a more streamlined process. Well, that is what they were doing. But that wasn't what I was doing. I spent most of my time reading documentation, I had some interaction with users, but minimal at best. And I mean, I told you that the reason I didn't want to be a developer is because I didn't want to sit in a cube and write code. And so that's what this was, you know, like, I was missing the entire social aspect of why I got into business analysis in the first place. So that was a huge mess. I didn't like their management style. But I don't know that I would have known that during the interview. I think that's just something you kind of learned, well, maybe not. I guess as you work with different managers, you, kind of, learn what styles you like and don't like, but I didn't like the management style. And I mean, those were two, I guess really substantial things for me. Those are such a huge part of the role that you're in to be unhappy with those two things makes it hard.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:33

I don't know if I ever told you this before. But I can definitely identify with the not wanting to sit in a cubicle and write code. So I actually changed majors, I think it was like 9 or 10 times through college. But the most substantial portion of time I was in one major before I changed, I was in computer science. So I was, like, getting deep into C sharp and C++ and, I don't know, name a programming language at that particular time. And I love to some of what you could make, but I hate it, just despised sitting and writing code for hours and hours and hours. And it's, like, well, this is what you do. So I can fully appreciate what you're talking about. And I have friends that just love doing that. They get so much out of doing that. And that is not me at all.

Cheri Thom 08:21

And I love the challenge of it. Like, it's not like walking this challenge to it. And that's the part about it that I loved. But I just needed to have more interaction with people than what my vision and the developer was.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:33

That makes a ton of sense. Okay, so you've got to this point, where shortly after you were in the role, you realized that it was not a great fit, and it was different than what you perceived it was going to be. What made you decide to start doing something about it right away? Because it sounded like you started taking action pretty early on, in one way or another. What caused you, what led up to, you know, during that first month or two months, what caused you to say, "Oh, I have to do something about this."?

Cheri Thom 09:04

I'm a firm believer in that, "if you're going to complain about something, you need to do something to change it." And so I was complaining everyday. I literally cried every single day, I was miserable. And it was impacting, not only my work life, but my personal life. Like, you know, I was snarky with my husband and with my son. And if that's not fair to them, I mean, they had nothing to do with it. So I knew something needed to change. I gave it. I feel like I should have given more than a month before I started looking, like, just to get into the, kind of, the meat of the job. But I'm really glad that I didn't because, I mean, I was there for over two years[e] and it didn't get better. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:43

You knew early on. So that's interesting. But I think what you said there is I feel like I should have given it more time when it was pretty clear, I'm sure from a intuitive level and maybe other evidence that you had in front of you that, that wasn't the case, but I think so many people feel that it's, like, "Well, I should just weigh it out. I should just give it some time. I should just..." but there's only so much time. So I think what you did is right, because you know, two years, that's a substantial chunk of time here on Earth, right?

Cheri Thom 10:15

Yeah. And I think that with, you know, any new job, there's a learning curve. And sometimes those first, you know, weeks, months are more challenging, maybe, then what is going to be longer term simply because you don't know the business or you don't know exactly what you're going to be doing. And you're meeting all those new people. And so I think that's why I feel like I should have given it more time before I started looking, though, again, I'm glad I didn't.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:41

I'm glad you didn't too. But, you know what, that raises such a good point, though. Because if it's about purely the learning curve, then what you said is very true, there's going to be a learning curve anytime you're in a new situation. However, the issues that you were experiencing, that didn't line up, it doesn't sound like, had much to do with the learning curve, it sounded like it had to do with other areas. So I think that's a really great lesson to be able to pull out of that for everyone. When you get into that new situation, if it has to do with the learning curve, if it has to do with something else that is going to make it more of a challenge, or more overwhelming, or more something at the beginning, then that's okay. And those are great things. However, if it doesn't fit into those categories, then you can ignore that. That's cool that you didn't.

Cheri Thom 11:28

Solid point.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:30

Well, you made it. And you did it. So kudos to you. I just get to come in here and have a conversation with you afterwards and say, "Oh, yeah, here's what you did. Good job." Well, so, once you started working through this, and once you began to realize, "No, clearly this is wrong for me. I must make this change." What was the most difficult piece for you? Or what challenges did you experience along the way?

Cheri Thom 11:58

I started hunting for jobs on all the normal things, I guess, you know, Indeed, and LinkedIn, and FlexJobs, and Dice and all of the different places. And I had what I thought was a really good resume. And, you know, I'd submit it with my cover letter, and I would just hear nothing. I applied for, oh my god, it felt like hundreds of jobs. I don't know if it actually was, but it felt like a lot. And I heard nothing. Like, not a peep for over a year[f], which was really, really devastating. It was hard to continue to be motivated to find something new when I was not getting any interviews. And I think that was probably the most challenging part of the beginning.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:36

Interesting. So what did you find helped with that for you personally?

Cheri Thom 12:41

Well, when I started working with you guys, I was talking with Jennifer and she said that I needed to kind of cater my resume to every job that I was applying for. And I had never done that before. So it was going in and, you know, picking the keywords out of the job description and sticking them in my resume, because so many companies are using the applicant tracking systems now. I think that one was huge for me, but then also making sure that I was applying for the right things, things that, you know, or things that I was going to want to be doing. I think for a long time I was applying for anything that fit within the realm of possibility, because I wanted out. And that obviously wasn't probably going to work out in my favor for the long term. But yeah, so those are the things I think were, kind of, key takeaways for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:28

But I think it can be fascinating, because most people don't have the privilege of sitting on the other side where those applications are coming in and seeing large amounts of applications. And one of the things that would happen is you could see the people that felt a little desperate, and the people who are applying for a wide variety of things. Sometimes because you might have, you know, one organization that is a head organization, but has a lot of sub organizations, and you saw people that were applying to different roles in different sub organizations, or you'd have people that are applying to a variety of things in the same organization, too. And just never crosses most people's minds. And it probably didn't until, you know, I saw it, as well, that, that might not come off particularly well. But there's all these little tiny cues that people on the other end respond to whether they know they are consciously or whether they are doing it unconsciously, and those are so difficult to watch for. So that's super cool that you were able to take that and work with Jennifer to be able to identify what was going to create the right situation. And one of the things I heard from you, before we hit the record button, was that you said, you know, "Now that I've been here for four weeks or so, one of my co-workers, colleagues had said it really feels like you fit in here. You've only been here, you know, you've only been here how many weeks? Like, I can't believe it because it really feels like you fit in here." And I think that's one of the examples of a massive difference when you have done your homework, you've identified a great fit, and then you're showing up, that can create a different feeling coming in, too. So here's my question for you, what were the pieces when you look back, and, you know, this took you about 12 months or so in total to make this change, once you started really actively working with us on it. What were those pieces looking backwards that really led up to this particular opportunity?

Cheri Thom 15:29

I mean, as I said, going in, I felt like I couldn't trust myself. And I didn't know what I wanted to do. Like, I have been happy in my previous role, but the previous-previous role, but I got to the point where I just didn't know if that was what I wanted to do, because the experience I was having was so bad. So working with Jennifer, and we did the exercise where, you know, you write down all of your previous jobs, and what you liked about them, what you didn't like about them. And there was a lot of similarities between the jobs and what I liked and what I didn't like. So knowing that was really helpful. Also, we went through and figured out what my strengths were, and how they show up both positively and negatively, which has helped me in all of my life, not just work related. But from that, you know, there was a lot of takeaways, like, I learned that I wanted to... Jennifer said, I want to be an advocate. So I wanted to advocate for people. So whether that meant, you know, just pulling from on the software side, like being the person who was going to stick up for my customers, or whether it meant something else. But I wanted to be an advocate, and 100% that's true. Like, I never had put that together prior to working with her. But absolutely. And I wanted to be a product owner, I have found that I really like that idea of, kind of, being a subject matter expert and, kind of, owning a process or product. And I hadn't been looking for that when I was looking for jobs because I didn't feel like I was qualified for it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:55

Tell me about that for just a second. So when you say, "I didn't feel like I was qualified for it" what was it about those types of opportunities or roles where maybe you feel, like, "Hey, I couldn't go after this."?

Cheri Thom 17:09

Because I felt like it was something you needed to grow into in an organization, not that you could just come in and inherently do. I felt like you would start as a business analyst or developer or whatever, and then, kind of, grow into that role once you had learned enough about the business and both of those tools in order to be a product owner. I think differently now. I think it's a skill set. I don't think that you necessarily have that skill set because you've been a business analyst or a developer and grow into it. I think it's a different skill set altogether. And it's just something I think that I've always enjoyed doing. So, you know, it's one of my strengths.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:44

Yeah, so I heard you say that, "My strengths have helped me in all areas of life, not necessarily just work", what's an example of that?

Cheri Thom 17:51

I'm an achiever. I like to check things off my list. And my son is not at all. And so recognizing about myself, why things he does irritates me has helped tremendously. So when I'm trying to get him to do something around my house, I try not to be, like, letting my achiever take over and getting him to, kind of, work the way I want him to work. That's been a huge one. Also, being a learner. Learner is my number one. I've taken the Strengths 2.0 thing twice and learner came up both times. But knowing that about myself, and I think I have a lot of learner in the job that I did, but also knowing that about myself made me realize that I could do things outside of the job that I was in, if it wasn't going to have that to, kind of, feed that part of my soul.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:38

What's an example of that, where you've now recognized that, "Hey, here's a part I might not get from work, or here's the part that I need since I'm a learner."? Because it is a little bit different for each person who might consider themselves a learner might have learning as a strength. So what's an example of that for you?

Cheri Thom 18:55

I always like to be, it's not... I mean, like, a learner, what I took away was, kind of, the learner and the teacher or the teacher, I guess. I'm not so much the teacher, I don't feel like that's a strength of mine, but very much the learner aspects. So in my previous job, I don't know if I wasn't getting any more, but I always want more. So I decided to do yoga teacher training. So for a year, I decided to be a yoga teacher[g]. So now I have that. I read a ton of personal development books, because I like learning, like, how the brain works and how your mind functions and things like that. So those are the things that I do to, kind of, feed that learner part of me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:34

That's awesome. So what were some of the other events then? If we keep going along this thread, what were some of the other events that led to you getting this opportunity?

Cheri Thom 19:42

I'm going to tell you a story. This was back in October, I had applied for this job[h] with a company and it was perfect. I had three interviews so I had an interview with HR for about half an hour and then I had another interview with the hiring manager and it all seemed fantastic. And it was something I really wanted to do. Well, I had my third interview, which was supposed to have been the final interview. And the first question they asked me was, "Where are you located?" And I said, "I'm in Central Wisconsin." I said, "Isn't the position remote?" And they said, "Only through COVID." And I said, "Oh." And I said, "Well, that's not gonna really work out for me. So, I appreciate your time. I thank you so much for, you know, talking with me." And that was the end of it. And I was absolutely devastated because it just felt like such a perfect fit. And someone who I had met through 'Happen To Your Career'' had reached out to me earlier in the fall, just to ask me about being a business analyst and to learn more about it. And he had messaged me on LinkedIn, and asked me how it was going. And I told him the story. And I told him I was feeling devastated. And I just haven't had the motivation to look for jobs to make a change. And he said, "I feel like these have... these things have their way of self filtering." And that was huge for me. It just kind of changed my attitude towards the whole thing. And I was like, you know what, he's right. This obviously wasn't the right fit. And it helped me, kind of, change my perspective, and just go back to what I needed to do to find the right position. So I'm so grateful to him for just, you know, those little words of wisdom so that I can, you know, get back on track. And then shortly after I started interviewing with my current company, so.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:24

You know, it's so funny after doing this for, I guess, approaching a decade now, so many stories are like that, where it gets to the absolute hardest part, where it just feels like you want to give up the entire process. You're usually so close at that point. And we keep seeing that over and over and over again. And at first, I thought it was just a fluke. And now I realize that we have literally not had any person that we have ever worked with, where they haven't experienced some version of that, where they hit, we call it "hitting the wall" at this point. And there's a couple different types of walls that people hit throughout the process. But you almost have to hit a wall in some way or another, to be able to continue on throughout the process. And the really interesting part, too, is that that is... I now recognize that that's a sign that people are so close, in one way or another. And it's really interesting that hey, as soon as you got back on the horse, it was just, like, right there in front of you.

Cheri Thom 22:29

Yep. That's actually what happened.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:31

I love that. That's a great story. I appreciate you sharing that. And when you think about this entire transition, this entire change, and all of the events that have transpired over, not just last year, but the last two years for you, what advice would you give to someone who is way back start or maybe someone who is in the middle of the transition? And if we go back to that point in time, where you realize, "Oh, no, like, I am clearly the wrong fit, wrong fit company, wrong fit position. Don't know exactly how it happened, but I'm here. I've got to do something about this." you know, what advice would you give that person in that place?

Cheri Thom 23:09

Advice that I received a long time ago that I think has helped me through this is to "make sure that I'm running towards something not running away from something". So you know, knowing what I'm working for, knowing what my goal is, I think has been huge, because there was a job opportunity that came up probably shortly after I started this. And, you know, I had done my Ideal Career Profile, I knew what I wanted to do and what I was working towards, and this opportunity came up. And as much as I wanted to say 'yes', because I wanted out of my current situation, that would have been me running away, because it was not in line with what I wanted to do going forward. So I think making sure, you know, what you're running towards.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:51

It's interesting. And I think that's fascinating, too, and I think particularly powerful coming from you. Because that happened a short while after you started this transition. And, you know, once we started working with you, it still took almost 12 months[i], right? And what I heard from you, or at least I think I heard from you, is that it ended up turning out even better versus just taking another position, and moving along. So why is that?

Cheri Thom 24:17

I feel like that position, and obviously, I didn't take the job so I don't know. But I feel like it would have been very much what I was trying to leave. And that's not what I wanted. I didn't just want the same job at a different company. I wanted a different job. I wanted something where I felt, like, the work I was doing was meaningful and where I could have accountability and mastery and, you know, all the things we need to be happy and where I can work with a great team and work on things that I was passionate about. And that just wouldn't have been it. So I'm really glad, I mean, as hard as it was, that was probably one of the hardest things I've done, was turning down my job because I was so unhappy where I was but I'm so glad that I did and I'm so glad that I had done that Ideal Career Profile. So I knew that wasn't what I wanted.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:02

Do you feel like you might have taken it had you not intentionally identified some of those pieces?

Cheri Thom 25:06

100%.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:08

So Ideal Career Profile for everyone listening, just a little bit of backstory, it's a tool that we created. It's a very simple tool. But the point of it is exactly what you said, Cheri, where we want everyone to be intentionally identifying what you're running towards, as you said, rather than accidentally accepting something that isn't really what you actually want. But that's hard work, to put it mildly, to identify exactly what you want. And what is really so interesting, and you and I were chatting about this a little bit before we started, I went back and I looked at your Ideal Career Profile, and you got so much of what you had intentionally up for a year ago, identified. It always seems like craziness every single time. But it's not. I mean, there's a method to the madness. And it's not magic that it works out that way. It's hard work mostly. But, what are some examples of that? Those pieces that, you know, way back when you said, "Hey, these are something that I really adamantly want. So much so that I will turn down another job offer that doesn't have that's sitting right in front of me in order to pursue what I actually do want." What's a couple examples of those things that you were looking for?

Cheri Thom 26:23

I wanted to work for a company that did good, or put good out into the world. That was something that was really important to me, for one reason or another, I don't know why. But something that made a positive impact on the world and the people of the world. That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to work with a team of great people. And I really do. My team is fantastic. I wanted to have autonomy and mastery, which I mentioned. So as a product owner, I will eventually be, kind of, a subject matter expert in different areas of the business and my bosses are huge on, they let you work the way you want to work as long as you get the work done. Those are all things that were really important to me, and I'm sure they were in my Ideal Career Profile. So one time we're working with Jennifer, as a group, we decided to make vision boards. And I don't have it up anymore, but it was hanging up right next to my desk for a long time. And all of those things are on it. And I still have it. It's sitting in my hallway right now, actually. But I was looking at it the other day thinking yeah, that's exactly. I mean, it was really impactful. I would not leave because that's exactly what I got, is what I put on that board.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:26

Is that funny looking backwards? It's like, "Oh, yeah, there's that, and that, and that. Oh, yeah, I have all those things now."

Cheri Thom 27:34

Yeah, strange.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:35

Yeah, that is so very, very cool. One other thing that I wanted to ask you about, actually, I have two other things that I wanted to ask you about. One of those is we were chatting briefly about the negotiation process. And you got to a point during that process where it was uncomfortable enough for you that you felt like you wanted to just say, "I'm just going to take the offer." Is that fair to say?

Cheri Thom 28:03

Yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:04

What allowed you to move beyond that? Because you did something that was really, really hard, hard for almost everybody in the world in many different ways to be able to... after working for many, many months to get this opportunity that was now in front of you, that was exactly what you wanted in so many different ways, and they're saying, "Oh, here's what we think that we want to offer you." And they were even surprised that you wanted to negotiate in the first place, if I remember correctly, right?

Cheri Thom 28:35

Right. Yes. They had called me with the offer. And I knew it was coming because they had called me... so this is early in a week, but on Friday[j], the recruiter had called me and said, "Assuming all goes well with your very last interview" I had seven interviews, "Assuming all goes well, you're going to get an offer early next week." I was literally jumping up and down in my living room. My family thought I was crazy. So I started to look at, you know, what I needed as far as salary goes and as far as benefits goes, and he had, kind of, given me a heads up with a salary, what the offer was going to be. So I wrote down what I was currently making, I looked at, you know, all of the benefits and what those were going to cost and vacation and all of the things that go along with the benefits package. And what they were offering was not quite what I needed. So he called back the following week to do the official offer and as I learned in the videos and in the documentation, I said, "Can I have a few days to think about it?" So I took those couple of days and made sure that, you know, I had everything written down. I watched the videos again because I was going to negotiate and I was terrified to do it because I'd never done it before. I watched the videos again. I did all the worksheets that come along with it and I had everything in front of me. I literally wrote a script for what I was going to call him back so that I could read it because I was so nervous. So I pulled up my script, when I was ready to call him back I had a post it with all my numbers on it, and I called him back and I said, you know, whatever my script said, I don't remember. And he said, "Oh, we just assumed you were going to take the offer as is." And I'm like, "Oh, okay." And he said, "I need to go because I have a meeting in two minutes, but I'll call you back." So, oh my god, I'm like, so nervous at this point. Then he called me back. And we went through the numbers that I had come up with. And I did have an error in my math, you know, came down on my... ask a little bit, and he said, "Okay, I need to go back to this person, and this person. And I'll get back to you." He said, "We already came up $5,000 for your salary. So I don't know if this is going to... what's going to happen here." I'm like, okay, and that's the point where I was like, okay, maybe I should just take it as is and not worry about this, because I really wanted this job. Like this was exactly what I wanted. So I think he called me back the next day or two days later, and he said, "Okay, we can't do what you've requested. But we met in the middle." And I was more than happy with that. So it was terrifying.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:01

But you did it.

Cheri Thom 31:02

I did it. Yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:04

So having gone through that for the first time, and so here's what's so fascinating to me, that you and I had talked about, you're actually a really great negotiator. You had just never negotiated salary before. That's the one thing that you had never negotiated before. But in all other areas of life, you negotiate all the time, and it's no big deal. So what advice would you give to someone who is going through salary negotiation for their first time?

Cheri Thom 31:28

Know why you're asking for what you're asking for, you know, have numbers laid out in front of you, if you're nervous, have a script. I think that level of preparation made it a little bit easier for me, just knowing that I had that there, should I need to read it. And stick to your guns, you know, don't sacrifice... if there's a certain salary you need, don't sacrifice what you need, because you feel like it's the right fit, because I think down the road, you're gonna end up regretting that and you're gonna end up resenting the job, potentially. So just stick with your guns.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:58

That's amazing. Very, very cool. And congratulations, again, you've done some really great work. And I know I said, I've told you that a couple of times, however, I mean it. And it was not just in one area, it was all across the board for this transition. So that's one of the reasons why I love your story. And also, yeah, absolutely. My pleasure. Anything else that you want to say? It's open mic time here.

Cheri Thom 32:24

I wrote down a few things. But I feel like I've covered them all. Like, I wanted to tell the story about the self filtering, because that was a huge turning point for me, just that little bit of change in attitude on when I hit the wall, and the Ideal Career Profile, and working with Jennifer on that was actually really big for me, too, just because I didn't really know what my strengths were before working with her, like, I knew what I was good at and I knew what I like to do, but I'd never actually realized that your strengths can be negative. But having worked on that, I definitely know that I see it in myself how some of my strengths are given away, like, they just become my default. And, when I talked about turning down, not the right fit, which was really hard. But I think it's important, because you need to do that in order to get to the right fit.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:17

Hey, many of the stories that you've heard on the podcast are from listeners that have decided that they wanted to take action and are taking the first step of having a conversation with our team to try and figure out how we can help. And if you want to implement what you have heard, and you want to completely change your life and your career, then let's figure out how we can help. So here's what I would suggest, just open your phone right now and open your email app. And I'm going to give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com, just email me and put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And then when you do that, I'll introduce you to the right person on our team. And you can have a conversation with us, we'll try and understand your goals and what you want to accomplish in your career no matter where you're at. And we can figure out the very best way that we can help you and your situation. So open up right now and send me an email with 'Conversation' in the subject line scott@happentoyourcareer.com.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:25

The biggest showstopper of career progression isn't your circumstances. No. It's getting stuck in the trap of indecision and inaction. Only, it doesn't feel like that. Here's an audio guide to learn how to move beyond overthinking in your career.

Phillip Migyanko 34:44

Is this career change important to you? Is getting out of that job that is not fulfilling anymore actually important to you? Is finding work that fills you up actually important to you? Then how quickly are you looking to make that change?

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:59

That's Phillip Migyanko. He's our Director of Client Success here at HTYC. He's the one that talks to every single person who reaches out to schedule a conversation, who needs help, he's one of the first people that you talk to. Every week, he talks with someone, actually, let's be honest, multiple people who begin to overthink their options. The hardest thing for us to see is people who are waiting too long, they end up staying in limbo, and don't make a decision to be able to move forward with their career and ultimately with their life. It's super hard for us because we know what's possible on the other side. But it is something that happens all the time. And then people will call us, like, one or two or three years later, sometimes even more than that, and say, "Hey, okay. I am finally ready to move forward." As it turns out, Phillip recently had a conversation with one of our coaches, Sharissa Sebastian, that we recorded about this very topic. So we've decided to share this conversation with you today. The biggest of which is we'd love to be able to spare you some pain by overthinking because it turns out that all of us on the team are recovering over thinkers. All that and plenty more next week[k] right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

[a][03:16] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[b]Hey @judie@happentoyourcareer.com let's revisit what we mean by "evergreen" content and what we want to remove. I don't think I did a great job explaining it to you. Let's stop tagging Josh for now, thanks!

_Reassigned to Judie Azarcon_

[c][03:50] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[d][04:38] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[e][09:40] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[f][12:21] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[g][19:16] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[h][19:44] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[i][24:02] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[j][28:41] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[k][36:21] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

When Your Role No Longer Fits: How To Uncover Your Strengths To Make A Dramatic Change

on this episode

Have you ever had a role that had one focus and then morphed into something else over time? The role fits your resume and past experience, but when you realize that it doesn’t really fit you and your strengths any longer, what do you do? 

In less than 2 years, Nick’s customer service role began to change to be more of a sales role – which did not fit him. He explains how he went from uncovering his strengths, to making connections and having conversations to learn what roles could fit him, and finally landing a role that actually plays to his strengths.

What you’ll learn

  • What you can do when your role no longer fits you
  • How to change to completely different career, without starting all over again
  • The importance of informational interviews to find out what the possible ideal roles are for you
  • How identifying your strengths and wants, can give you clarity and control

Success Stories

“It’s hard to find something that fits, that’s why so many people change careers. When I finally understood my strengths and how I could apply them it all made sense. It just made it easier to see what types of jobs and roles would fit me. In my new career I get to do the marketing that I love with a company I’m excited about.”

Kirby Verceles, Sales & Marketing Director

I’ve been offered the job! It was great having the opportunity to speak with you prior to my interview. It enabled me to highlight my strengths as part of the conversation and I was able to be clear about my enthusiasm for opportunities to be proactive versus reactive. I also highlighted my desire to provide positive individual experiences. Our discussion not only assisted me in the interview but it also helped to increase my confidence!

Bree Hunter, Project Officer, Australia

All the stars aligned and I ended up finding the right thing at the right place at the right time, and it was you guys! Everything that you said was speaking to me and the things that you had done in the job that you had transitioned out of and into. Also how finding work that you love is your passion for people! Honestly, it was you Scott, I mean, the way that you talked about it, how passionate you were, I was like, there's no way he's gonna put out a faulty product. So I'm gonna try it, you know… I recommend you to all my friends, you know, even if they don't realize that they're looking for a new job, I'm like this is the first step, let's do this! Even if you maybe don't move out of this career. This is going to help!

Maggie Romanovich, Director of Learning and Development, United States/Canada

Scott has been a tremendous help in bringing focus to my business. Scott enlightened my path towards concentrating on my strengths and doing what I love. I recommend Scott Anthony Barlow to anyone who wants clarity about what they should be doing, and the next step to make your business successful.

Jody Maberry, Began Copywriting & Marketing Business, United States/Canada

Nick Neves 00:01

I've kind of honed in on accounting and really matched up with a lot of my strengths. You know, I like the structure, I like working with numbers, all that stuff, you know, I like routine. So going off of that, I trust in my strengths and saying, "Okay, I think this is a good place to start" and kind of pursue that. That was a main role that I was really looking at. As I went along, I realized I had to do a slight pivot.

Introduction 00:26

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:50

A long time ago, I used to work for Target. And I did Human Resource Management and Leadership for Target. And it was a pretty wonderful opportunity. I loved the company, they took great care of me, much of the leadership training that I got and have to this day, came from Target putting time and money and effort into me. So I'm forever appreciative of that. Also, at the same time, I was working for them. And they decided that they wanted to move their HR that supported stores more and more and more into the stores and more into the standard retail environment. Now, that was exactly the right decision for them. But it really wasn't that great for me, to be honest. And that's something that I have seen over and over and over again, where people go through, they get a job, it's amazing opportunity. And then the company changes or evolves into something else. And it's no longer amazing. It's not even awesome. It's the opposite of that. That happens.

Nick Neves 02:10

I was in a job working in customer success, which for those who don't know, it's kind of like customer support, with like a little bit of sales mixed in. And I was doing this job, it was kind of morphing more into a sales role. There's a lot of pressure to kind of move into, like a sales type role, which is just not for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:28

That's Nick. In less than two years[a], his Customer Success role began to change to, well, being almost all a sales role. And as it began to uncover his strengths and define what he really wanted in life, he knew that he had to make a change. But how do you move from a role that's no longer ideal to one that actually uses your strengths? Alright, well, spoiler alert, Nick does a really nice job of this. And as you heard in the introduction, he actually transitions to accounting. And I want you to listen for how that took place, how that actually happened. But let's start out with Nick explaining here, how he went from uncovering the strengths to making connections and having conversations to learn what roles could fit him and finally, landing in a role that does play to his strengths.

Nick Neves 03:18

I was in a job working in customer success, which for those who don't know, it's kind of like customer support, with like a little bit of sales mixed in. And I was doing this job, it was kind of morphing more into a sales role. There's a lot of pressure to kind of move into, like a sales type role, which is just not for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:35

Why is that? I'm super curious.

Nick Neves 03:37

My own personality, I don't think, you know, I'm more of an introverted kind of behind the scenes, analytical thinker. I like doing more the operational stuff versus, you know, just hammering phones all day, filling your day with talking to people, you know, I didn't want the success of my job to be determined by things that just I didn't want to do, or I wasn't come for with with. That's why I, you know, this isn't sustainable for me. And there was a, you know, a couple other things too, with just the way the company was, the culture, you know, there's a multitude of different reasons, but that was the biggest reason for me, it just did not feel like the right fit. Even it was confirmed with meetings with my manager, kind of yearly reviews and things like that. She's like, "You're a great team player, people love you on the team, but like really need you to be more, you know, like this person" and compared me to like our top salesperson, I'm like, I will never be like that person ever. So I was like, if they want me to be this type of person, then they hire the wrong person. And that I was okay with that. Because at first when I was doing the job, I was... my confidence took it and I definitely, that resonated with, you know, a lot of your previous podcast guests, I heard you talk about that. And I was like, I totally understand, you know, where they're coming from, where you think you're just not doing a good job and all that. And you realize, okay, it's really, you know, this isn't working out and I could totally excel with doing something that's more of a natural fit. So that's where I started, I was in customer success, and then ultimately led me to working in finance so I can kind of get into the transition of that because I know it's kind of complete one.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:01

Well, let me ask you first about that stage where you were in this customer success type role, and clearly it was outside of your, not just comfort zone, but also, in many ways, it is requiring you to be a ton of who you are not and also didn't want to be. But I think as you mentioned, so many people will be in that situation, and they will say, "I should be able to do this or I..." they end up beating up on themselves in one way or another.

Nick Neves 05:31

Exactly.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:32

And impacts confidence. So what allowed you to get to the point where you realize that you were okay with it, because I also heard you say, "Hey, I was okay with that at some point." But what took place for you to get to that point where you realize, look, it's just a wrong fit.

Nick Neves 05:45

Yeah, that's a great, you know, great question. And just, you know, put myself back into that scenario, right. And that's exactly how I felt first, I was in the job for maybe two to three years[b], first year, I've definitely beat myself up, you know, thinking I'm not doing a good job here. You know, that feeling continued. But I think the turning point was when I started really sitting down and putting in the time and effort to figure out what why this wasn't a good fit. You know, I took, initially, before I found Happen To Your Career, I took, you know, the Myers Briggs test, which was super helpful. Pairing that with the personality test, the strength test that you guys do as well. And then, you know, I ultimately stumbled upon you guys. And in some of the eight day mini course, and all that stuff that was... that free exercise, kind of, put everything into perspective for me. It made me realize, like, you know, there are strengths and weaknesses to a person. And sometimes it's just a square peg in a round hole, right. And that just slowly, it wasn't like an overnight thing, right? It definitely took some weeks to kind of figure that out. And then, you know, as I continued with the job, like I said, you know, had those meetings with my manager, was telling me, "Why you become this person?" I knew I wasn't going to become that person. So that's when it really clicked for me. And I was just like, "Okay, I should be able to do a different job. And even further along, through the career change bootcamp program, you know, you always have a little bit of doubt here and there as you're going through, right, especially at the beginning, but as I did the interviewing process of other people, in other roles, departments that I was interested in, and I would ask them, like, what does a successful person look like in this role, what personality traits fit a type of person in this role that confirms to me that I am moving in the right direction and looking for the right jobs, and I can be successful and build my confidence back up.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:23

Let me ask you about that just for a little bit of background for everyone else, you know, one of the things that we'll often do is help people design many experiments, where you sometimes are having conversations, and I think that's probably the part that you're referring to, where you're looking at a variety of different roles and trying to confirm that those might be potentially a direction for you. So what were some of those roles that you were looking at, that you were talking to people about at the time? Just curious

Nick Neves 07:51

It started off very broadly, but then eventually got a little more itch. I actually connected with someone else who is in the program, actually, and he worked in accounting previously. And turns out, we had a lot of the same strengths. So I was like, he'd probably be a great person to talk to, get a perspective on, you know, using the job, he has the same strengths, would it be a good fit for me, I kind of honed in on accounting, and really matched up with a lot of my strengths. And I like the structure. I like working with numbers, all that stuff, you know, I like routine. So going off of that I trust in my strengths and saying, "Okay, I think this is a good place to start" and kind of pursued that. That was a main rule that I was really looking at, as I went along, I realized I had to do a slight pivot where, you know, accounting, it's tough to get into if you don't have the degree and all that stuff. So I was kind of hitting roadblocks there. But I was able to find a way to kind of get my foot in the door, almost like a stepping stone into accounting, which is the role man now[c], which is called order operations. It's got a lot of different names in different companies that basically you're the middleman between sales and accounting and finance. So it was great, you know, fit my background working in sales and customer support. But I'm kind of moving away to a different side of the house that I want to move into. You know, so our long winded question probably went off topic there twice.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:03

This is great, because a couple things that aren't always obvious when we talk about these types of transitions, because you've done a great job making this type of pivot. And I think so many people would not even realize that it's possible to make that severe of a change, I'm gonna call that severe for just a second, severe in the best possible way. If your sounds sometimes like a negative word, but I mean, in a really, really positive way that different that almost 180 type of a change. And one of the ways that you have found to do that is by heavily leveraging, not just your strengths, but also your past experiences too. And I think that gets so undervalued as a portion of this process, because I think so many people hear these types of podcasts or they recognize the need to do something different. And then think, well, I need to make this 190 type of change. I'm going to be a scuba diver or something like that. Like it's gonna be that drastic change in one way or another and that tendency is to say, "Okay, I'm going to, like, magic it to happen." And that's not how it works in reality. And in reality, it happens much more like you have done where we are heavily leveraging those things that you're bringing to the table. In this case, you had some amazing experiences in both sales, even though that's not what you wanted to do forever, but also customer success. And also a lot of the pieces that come along with that the skill sets that come along with that, too. And so, one really nice job into. What were you gonna say?

Nick Neves 10:34

Thank you. No, I was just gonna say before I forget, that really reminds me of and I didn't really realize it at the time, like you said, you're making that big change, and you're like, I don't even know if I have the transferable skills, or all that. Number one, I help talking to people to figure out what are the transferable skills, you know. The interview is huge, it was so helpful, just to get a sense of everything, you know, to actually talk to people in the jobs, it makes you realize, okay, you know, if you're just looking at job descriptions all day, you know, it gets kind of just monotonous. And you can kind of hit a wall there. So for me, it was... I was really able to figure out, "Okay, I don't have the accounting background, but I definitely have transferable skills, work with Excel a ton, and I've done process improvements, which is big in that field in my job, that's what I enjoyed doing that. So once you started talking to people, you realize, okay, this is a little more doable than I thought and Mo was beyond helpful in helping me kind of reshape my resume, reshape my cover letters, all that. And I actually ended up getting a lot of... Yeah, sorry, my coach Mo, he, you know, I ended up getting a lot of compliments from people, even if I didn't end up getting the job, they were like, you know, your resume looks like an accounting resume, I'm surprised you haven't had an experience in that field. So that was just a good confirmation there that, you know, I was doing it the right way. And, you know, it ultimately worked out.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:49

That is awesome. I want to dig into a few of those pieces here for just a minute because it did ultimately work out when we're talking about like nine plus months[d] or so of work, to make it ultimately work out. And, you know, you mentioned some of those conversations that you were having very often, you know, when we think about making a change, depending on what people decide, they need is what is most valuable to them, you know what their goal is, and making this change that can often dictate whether you focus on roles first, or whether you focus on organizations or environments first. For you, it was much more about roles. And so you started having some of those conversations. But I'm curious, can you describe a couple of those conversations and what those actually looked like, what led up to them, how you got to chat with a couple of those people and what even talked about during some of those conversations?

Nick Neves 12:39

Going back, I definitely remember struggling with the roles versus organizations debacle. And I thought, well, maybe I could do both, I can look for roles within industries that are interesting to me, you know, I was looking, I'm a big sports fan, you know, I love golf. So there's a couple, you know, golf manufacturing companies and sports manufacturing companies around Boston, I was looking at those. And I ultimately decided that, for me, I think the role was just more important just because maybe it was the nature of the job itself, like with accounting and finance are, kind of, just you're doing accounting and finance in the back office, and it's kind of just that, right? I think if someone was moving into, like, customer success, or something else like that, where you're, kind of, on the front lines of the industry, you might look for companies and put an emphasis on that. So I think it really depends on the role. So for me through conversations with people, it didn't really seem like it was that different industry to industry, I didn't want to move to, like, a massive company. But in terms of, like, the industry, I was like, I'm kind of industry agnostic at this point. I kind of started there, figured that out. And like I said, talking to other people through the informational interviews, you know, kind of opened that up, and even also doing some meetings with Phillip, one of the other coaches, even though he wasn't my assigned coach, he set up what I think were called accountability groups at the time. I don't know if you guys are calling him from different now. But being able to talk to him and other people who were going through the career change process on the call, we were able to bounce ideas back and forth when I would explain to them hey, I'm kind of struggling with this. Do I go with companies roles? Do I focus on industry? So they were able to kind of help me talk through that, ultimately decided that, you know, roles was kind of the way to go for me. So that was another helpful thing too, is to have, not only my coach Mo, but also just the community itself is very helpful.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:26

That's amazing. It makes me really happy for so many different reasons. I think it's probably useful to acknowledge here that this progression, I'm going to call it a progression, is always so much easier when you're looking backwards. You and I were chatting at the very beginning of our conversation, I think before we even hit the record button about how you were trying to get yourself back into the mindset of what life was like, you know, a year ago[e] at this time when you were starting to really think about making this change and starting to really move on that. But it's been a year since that point in time and it was definitely no small amount of work and one of the things that I heard you say earlier was, "Hey, I had a conversation with another person who was working with HTYC. And they had a past background in accounting. And that's what led to me affirming that this could be something that I take a really close look at. And then that led to other conversations that you had where you were taking tidbits away for different types of roles, which led to the next thing, which led to the next thing, which led to the next thing. And ultimately, only then after nine months[f] of breadcrumbs, if you want to call it that, following each of those little bit breadcrumbs led to the actual opportunity. So the question that I wanted to ask you there is, that's a lot of different pieces to be able to make this happen for yourself, and you've done a great job with that. But what were some of the hardest parts of that process for you?

Nick Neves 15:52

I would say what definitely helped me was the whole structure of it, you know, having the modules to go through, you kind of had a look ahead, you knew what to expect, I mean, not totally knew what to expect in terms of the program and what you were going to be working on. So I really liked the structure. So I'd recommend people if you like having that structure, it definitely helps. But the parts where I, you know, it sounds like it was a seamless transition, right. And now I'm here a year later[g] whom I have a new job. But I'd say that, you know, the hardest parts were, you know, like we discussed before, grappling with the... where do I even focus on, do I focus on roles, or focus on industries? Do I focus on companies like, you know, some people might be looking to move and they just don't care about location, that throws a whole nother wrench into everything. So I think the way you guys do it, we're, you know, kind of talked about building that frame, right, and putting the pieces of puzzle together. Another thing too, that was really helpful was building out your kind of life profile, if you will. So you kind of put like parameters around what you're looking for, to make everything kind of less daunting, right. So you kind of have indicators or parameters, you know, of what you want to look for. So you're not casting such a wide net, that you're overwhelmed. So that, at first, it was overwhelming, but it was able to kind of hone in from there. And then, you know, I think a little bit further down the road once, you know, I started interviewing and all of that, that's, you know, you deal with rejection a lot, too. You know, you don't always get, you know, you don't always get... you feel like you found a really good fit. And you made a really good case of why you should, you know, why you're able to make this change and why you fit in the know, you know, you might not have the traditional background and you do everything you can and you might not get the job. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:31

Were there an example of where that happened for you?

Nick Neves 17:33

Yeah, a couple thoughts, you know, there was kind of some entry level accounting jobs where, you know, I was able to network my way into those jobs. So way more effective, I think, than just going on job boards, right. So I was like, I already have and in here[h]. And that person, whether they're just being polite, or whatever, maybe they think you're a great fit, and they pass along your resume, you know, I worked with my coach Mo, super helpful in helping me build my resume, tailor it to each and every job that I was doing, tailoring my interview prep and my cover letters and all that stuff. That's all super prepared, and very confident that I would at least get a call back, you know, for a lot of the jobs, right? A lot of them I did, which, looking back, it's like, well, you're moving into a totally new field where you don't have accounting degrees and all that stuff. So you know, I get it, but I'm...

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:22

Well, I think that there's another element there too. I would argue that that actually worked out so much better for you. Even the rejection sucks, like that is a... where you ended up, at least from the outside looking in, appears to be a far better match than starting in, you know, beginning accounting, because you bring a lot more to the table, you have so much more experience and skill sets than just starting from the beginning. So...

Nick Neves 18:48

Yeah, absolutely.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:49

That actually is allowing the process to work even though it doesn't always feel good in the moment.

Nick Neves 18:54

Yeah, and I think at the time, I don't even know the job and now was a job. So, you know, I was really just searching for kind of those entry level accounting jobs, like, maybe I'll have to take a pay cut, I really don't want to. There's other kind of entry level accounting jobs that a lot of people were frequently recommending, you know, accounts payable, accounts receivable, just stuff like that. And I was like, I would be willing to kind of grind it out and do those jobs. But it's part of my life profile, if you will, was that I wanted to be making the same amount of money or more, which is kind of, you know, if you're going to put in the effort to go through this whole career change process, you want to be able to have that kind of same salary. So especially in Boston, where things are pricey. Sorry, I'm losing my train of thought here. But yeah, I didn't even know that was a job. Through my conversations with people, I found out that, hey, this could be a good fit to kind of make that transition. So again, like talking to people and networking, even though it can be uncomfortable at times, people were way friendlier than I was expecting even just random people on one day and I was stalking so many people on LinkedIn, sending so many messages, and a lot of people did respond were super helpful, you know, I'd never met them before. We want to jump on the phone and, you know, being able to do all that while working remotely was definitely helpful. But yeah, definitely recommend reaching out to people as much as you can, if you're going through the process.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:09

What did you find was very effective for you personally, which might not be effective for everybody. But in your situation, what did you find was really effective as you were reaching out to people and having those conversations, particularly in the conversations themselves, what advice would you give people that worked well for you?

Nick Neves 20:31

Yeah, I would say, at first, it's... especially when you're finding companies, whether there are open jobs that you want to apply to, your like, you're very excited to try and get your foot in the door and apply those right away, right. And I did a bad job of this at first where I was reaching out to people saying, like, "Hey, I saw there's an open job here, I'm interested in it. Would love to kind of learn more about it." That just reeks of like, hey, like, get this job for me, right. But when I was reaching out to people, and this was another testament to Mo, he was really kind of nudged me in the right direction here, where he was saying, you know, treat him more as like, I want to learn about your experience, and really just have a conversation. That people are more willing to open up and talk about that than just help a random person who's trying to use them and wants to just get a job. I think eventually, the conversation ultimately kind of leads that way, which is nice. But it shouldn't start that way, especially in the beginning, when I really was just doing informational interviews, just to learn about different jobs, you, kind of, you're building your network as you go anyway. So you can always go back to those people to see openings, it makes it a little easier to reach out and apply to those jobs.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:34

That's so interesting, the point that you made about if you are just pursuing a job, often that is a turn off, where if you are genuinely interested in the other person to learn about it, then that very often leads to opportunities. The hard part about that, though, I think, for so many people is you can't fake that. Like when you get into that conversation, like everyone has a bowl, you know, we've got like bs meters that are going to go off like crazy, it's like, "This dude just wants a job like, I'm done with this."

Nick Neves 22:08

Yeah, I think that you're right, that is a tough thing to kind of fake. For me, I was just enjoying the process, and really just enjoying talking to people and everyone had a different perspective on things. And I always learned something from every conversation that I had. So for me, I was excited to talk these people, and great if I could steer it in the direction I want to go in all the better. But you know, I think at the very least you still learn some things that you can pick up along the way. So it's, kind of, that was able to help me kind of get in that mindset.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:36

Very cool. Okay, so let me ask you this, if you had to go back and make this change again, is there anything that you would do differently in the process for yourself?

Nick Neves 22:49

Oh, that's a good question. I'm not totally sure. Maybe at the time when I was, kind of, looking for different roles, different opportunities, like maybe I left some different jobs or roles that are on the table, that could have been a really good fit, I kind of you know, I wanted to become laser focused on one role. And that's just me personally. So I was like, okay, accounting looks good, it may not be perfect, but I think it matches a lot of the skill sets and strengths that I have, it matches my life profile, like I just checked all the boxes, like, I'm just gonna go with it and look for this job. Like some people, maybe you can look at multiple different roles or job fields at once. So maybe I left something that was a really good fit. And maybe I just didn't see it. But I remember having this conversation with my coach, too, at the time where I was worried about missing something. And eventually, you just got to move forward with something, right? You can't just have paralysis by analysis, which is definitely something that I suffer from at times. So I had to realize that and that's another opportunity where my coach helped me out, you know, maybe that's a regret. But also, I wouldn't get too bogged down by that stuff, because that could really stonewall your efforts to move forward.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:58

What do you feel like are and now that we're on the other end of this, and you have different perspective, because a year ago[i], at this time, we had talked about you were in probably far less healthy place mentally, because the role and what was expected of you was such a not great fit, such opposite of alignment in some very specific ways. But now that you are in a better fit, what would you describe as the differences for people?

Nick Neves 24:31

The biggest difference is, if this job really matches, you know, what I'm looking for in a working environment. You know, I don't want to be inundated with meetings all day and you know, having to be on all the time socially. Like I said, I'm more of an introverted person. So for me kind of being heads down in your work, doing kind of all the behind the scenes work is really what I preferred. So that's a big change and being able to, you know, the things that I felt like I was good at just wasn't being recognized my own job. Like I said, I was doing some process improvements and things like that just to kind of boost efficiency and all that. And there was like an operational side of the job. And then it was a client facing side of the job. And I really gravitated towards the operational side and felt like I did a good job of improving that part of the job and all that, but that wasn't being recognized as vital to the job or bringing success to it. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:21

It sounds like the emphasis was on the client facing side that the... and that's really what that organization or that set of people needed in one way or another.

Nick Neves 25:29

Exactly. And now I'm able to kind of focus on those strengths with my new job. I didn't know all this stuff at the time, but definitely taking the strengths tests and all that stuff really helped me... 'cuz you think you really know what you're good at, and maybe what you don't like and all that. But taking the strength test through you guys really helped me put everything into perspective and put it into words. And, you know, one thing that I really enjoyed about the process was you take the strength test, and then you go through and kind of highlight things that stands out to you. So that's really what helped me hone in on accounting in the first place is highlighting some of the words like reliability, routine, all these different things that stood out to me, like, you know, I enjoy that aspect of the job. And I feel like I'd be good at it. That was very helpful. Because again, that's also kind of a daunting thing, too, is like, okay, now I have this strength stats, but it's like not spitting out a job for me, right, I gotta go ahead and kind of match that to what to look for. So that process was super helpful too.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:21

You know, what's really interesting, though, is a year later, you can now easily articulate what it is that you need. And I think that's such a cool thing, because you're going to be able to continue to build on that for the rest of your life. Where, you know, I asked you and just off the cuff at the beginning of this, you're like, "Well, you know, here's what I wasn't getting, here's now what I need, I needed this routine, I am more of an introvert and I need ABCD and E" and you can just rattle that off now. And I think that that is a testament, that doesn't just happen through the process. Yes, we have that built into our particular process for career change. However, it takes a lot of work from you, and understanding about yourself to be able to get to the point where now your later, it's just like, "Oh, yeah! Obviously, here's what I need: boom, boom, boom, boom, boom." So that's super cool, because I know what goes into that. But I think out there that you made the point of is, you first have to be able to do that and be able to recognize it in a way that you can articulate it to other people or the outside world. Otherwise, the opportunities that come much later on just simply don't happen. If you don't get to step one, you don't get step seven.

Nick Neves 27:29

Yeah, for sure. It wasn't like you said, it wasn't an overnight thing. It definitely took some practice on my part, some kind of discipline to put in the time and work to figure all this stuff out. Determine, you know, be able to articulate it the way where I can now, and again, Mo is super helpful going through almost like roleplay, if you will, where you can kind of talk through what's so bad at it at first, but put into practice with his help. And, you know, with the structured strength tests, and you know, profiles and modules that you guys have, it was just helpful to, kind of, help me frame it for myself, too. So I would say, it was a combination of everything really, that was able to get me to where I'm at.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:09

Well, I am so glad to hear it. And, you know, before we finish up here, is there any other parting words of either wisdom or advice that you'd like to share with someone who is finding themselves back in that situation that you were in a year ago? Or like, okay, clearly, I need to make a change. Clearly, this is not a great fit. But what the heck do I do about it from here? What would you tell that person who's in that place right now?

Nick Neves 28:37

Yeah, I would say, you know, thinking back to about a year ago[j], when I was very unhappy in my job and everything, you know, you have to make a change, but you're not really sure what direction to move in. And maybe you do have a sense of what direction you want to move in. But it's just not really sure how to get there. For me, like I said, I really like the structure of everything. So that was super helpful, but it's not so structured, where it's like, you know, someone likes to kind of do things at their own pace and all that, I think it's very flexible. And I know you guys would get to work with people's different styles and customizing things, the way people work. So that's great. So that was, you know, a big thing for me. And even if I think this would be really helpful for someone who's looking to make even more of a drastic change, like, if you're looking to make some, you know, if you're looking to move into a very niche job, that it's difficult to kind of get into that role, because I know talking with some other people on the program, they were looking for, like very niche specific jobs in certain industries. That's one, you know, a coach would be super helpful. And it was... even still, helpful for me who was just still in the corporate world, kind of, you know, making a pivot, but nothing like super drastic. So I would say no matter what boat you're in, really, I think having the help and guidance is helpful, right? Have the community to fall back on, bounce ideas off of people. All that is just, it was all very helpful in the end. So I would say those are the kind of big takeaways for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:59

Nick, thank you for taking the time and making the time, I really appreciate it. And I told you at the beginning of this, but super fun for me to get to have this conversation with you. I know you did all this work, and you know, and Mo was keeping me posted. But I still didn't get to hear the whole story, necessarily. So I appreciate you coming and sharing it, not just with me, but with everybody else too.

Nick Neves 30:20

More thank you and everyone else, Mo, Phillip, everyone who I worked with. Thanks for giving me opportunity to share my perspective and story. I know, the podcast was huge for me for, you know, getting the... first off, discovered you guys, but also kind of getting motivated. So hopefully, if I could share my story and help other people, that'd be an honor. Thanks again.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:41

Hey, many of the stories that you've heard on the podcast are from listeners that have decided that they wanted to take action and taking the first step of having a conversation with our team to try and figure out how we can help. And if you want to implement what you have heard, and you want to completely change your life and your career, then let's figure out how we can help. So here's what I would suggest, just open your phone right now and open your email app. And I'm going to give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com, just email me and put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And then when you do that, I'll introduce you to the right person on our team. And you can have a conversation with us, we'll try and understand your goals and what you want to accomplish in your career no matter where you're at. And we can figure out the very best way that we can help you and your situation. So open up right now and send me an email with 'Conversation' in the subject line scott@happentoyourcareer.com.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:52

People make career changes all the time. That's a normal thing. Unfortunately, many of those career changes are not great moves. In reality, what we find when we meet up with so many people after they've made a career change is that they're just running from portion of their past job, whether it's a bad boss, a toxic environment, trying to raise their salary, trying to lower the amount of stress and responsibility, when instead, they should be figuring out what they really actually want. And then run towards that. So what happens if you've had that situation? What happens if you have made a career change only to realize that your previous career actually fit you much better? Technology and culture can advance or it can change quickly. How do you pivot back to your previous career path after some time has passed? And make it even better?

Louie Rankin 32:53

After I really put my mind to "Okay, what do I want to do, you know, for the next several years[k], if not till the end of my career and that's, you know, what I really enjoyed?" I just needed to, kind of, get out of my mindset that I was for so many years, and I think actually stepping out of the role in a three union and then coming back, I have kind of a new outlook on things.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:11

That's Louie. He went to college for medical imaging, he spent years then afterwards working in the 3D imaging. And, as you might imagine, he felt like he was the one who like needed a career change. But once he made that change, he quickly realized that his health and his family life were being very negatively affected. Listen, as he shares why he changed careers, from medical imaging into IT and the struggles that he faced when he made that change. And most importantly, take a listen further in the episode to how he pivoted back into the pieces he loved most from his previous career, ultimately leading him to much more happiness more often in both career and the other areas of his life. All that and plenty more next week[l] right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically. Even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

[a][02:30] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[b][05:54] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[c][08:44] inaudible @kathy@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Kathy Wilkes_

[d][11:58] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[e][14:49] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[f][15:31] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[g][16:16] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[h][17:47] inaudible @kathy@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Kathy Wilkes_

[i][24:05] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[j][28:40] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[k][32:57] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[l][34:03] @joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

Stuck in a Career You’re Unhappy With? Fear Of Taking Risks Could Be Keeping You There

on this episode

Many people are afraid to take risks because it’s easier to stay where they feel safe and comfortable. We like to think of this as “comfortably unhappy.” It’s the kind of unhappy that you can live in because it feels stable and safe.

But the problem is that if you aren’t willing to get uncomfortable, you could be cheating yourself out of career happiness. That’s right – you have to get out of your comfort zone in order to make big things happen!

Stephanie was plagued with an aversion to risk and was comfortably unhappy in her role. Once she finally saw the writing on the wall, she decided to face her fears and embrace the unknown to find her ideal role.

What you’ll learn

  • What caused Stephanie to want to make a change in the first place
  • Why being afraid of taking risks can actually hold you back
  • How working through the “5 Whys” reveals your values
  • Why it’s important to figure out what you want (even when you’re not naturally introspective)
  • The importance of getting out of your comfort zone sooner rather than later

Success Stories

My brain always goes 'Well, what's the worst that could happen?' And that was another one of the exercises from Figure Out What Fits and once you realize what the worst that can happen is, it's not really that bad. In the big scheme of things, it might knock it back for a minute or two, but it's not not a biggie. They have not found it to happen yet. So I've just been pleasantly surprised every step of the way.

Mark Sinclair, Photograher, Australia

The hardest part was getting overfitting myself into a job board. Because after about a decade of following job boards and what careers were trending in on the uprise, you really get in this holding pattern of not acknowledging what you want. It was you and your podcast and your CCB program. So, more background, I went through your CCB program a year ago. But, I finished it less than a year ago. And some of the tools are you have us design this ideal career profile. And so, you make us acknowledge all of these different aspects and put it together in one sheet. And so, it really visually lays it out that you can combine them.

Allison Curbow, Career Solutions Coach, United States/Canada

I convinced myself for many years, that I was very lucky to have that job, and I would be crazy to leave it. I convinced myself that the team needed me even though I was miserable. And ultimately, it took me getting physically sick to realize I needed to leave! One of the biggest things that I learned out of the signature coaching was on designing my life. And this is another thing that I had really never, it had, I don't know, if it had never occurred to me. I just never believed it was possible until now.

Michael Fagone, Mortgage Loan Officer and Finance Executive, United States/Canada

All the stars aligned and I ended up finding the right thing at the right place at the right time, and it was you guys! Everything that you said was speaking to me and the things that you had done in the job that you had transitioned out of and into. Also how finding work that you love is your passion for people! Honestly, it was you Scott, I mean, the way that you talked about it, how passionate you were, I was like, there's no way he's gonna put out a faulty product. So I'm gonna try it, you know… I recommend you to all my friends, you know, even if they don't realize that they're looking for a new job, I'm like this is the first step, let's do this! Even if you maybe don't move out of this career. This is going to help!

Maggie Romanovich, Director of Learning and Development, United States/Canada

Stephanie Bilbrey 00:00

I would say that it started with when I engaged a career coach. And it very quickly became life coaching . And the thing that rose to the top most quickly as my initial mountain to climb was my aversion to risk.

Introduction 00:33

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:57

Why does making a career change feel risky to so many people? I mean, I get it, if you're in an organization where the pay is great, or the benefits are awesome, or you have the flexibility that you want to continue to have, or maybe even the people are absolutely wonderful, and you're afraid of losing all of that. But here's the thing, even if you're not really happy with the job, and not really happy with the situation, then what goes through so many of our heads is, is it worth taking the risk on a new career and possibly losing all the good parts? Have you ever considered why it feels risky to you? Now, I would argue two things. One, that after doing this many, many years, not just the podcast, but helping thousands of people through career change, we don't typically see that people are losing all the good parts, that we see that that rarely rarely ever happens. And instead, I would argue that the far larger risk is the risk of doing nothing and staying for more years of your life in a situation that's no longer good for you.

Stephanie Bilbrey 02:08

I don't like interpersonal conflict. I don't know who does but I'm like, risk, it's my kryptonite. But man did it get me out of my comfort zone, did it challenge me, did it keep me on my toes, that got me in a better space to be broader in the way that I was thinking and just more welcoming of discomfort.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:31

That's Stephanie. She worked for years in community college environment, and was plagued by an aversion to risk. I think it's pretty safe to say she was comfortably unhappy in her role. Now once she finally saw the writing on the wall, she decided to face her fears and embrace the unknown to find her ideal role. Now here's the really crazy thing. If we fast forward to what happened at the end of her change, she ended up surpassing her own expectations by a longshot in terms of salary and what was possible, for her and her happiness in her career. Now, I want you to listen for that. But let's start out as Stephanie shares right here right now, what caused her to want to make a change in the first place.

Stephanie Bilbrey 03:19

I will say that I feel like I've been toying with my career for like, a decade. But looking at the work that I've been doing in the last couple of months or past year[a] previously, in that last decade, I wasn't bringing intentionality and reflection and risk. I was taking these kind of like small hopeful fingers crossed kind of pivots. And but then questioning like, is this the right company? Is this the right role? And then later, you know, that like imposter syndrome comes up, is it me? Is that what's wrong? It's actually listening to the podcast that you did with Dan Pink. And he said something to the effect of many people go their lives half asleep. Is that... Am I quoting that right? Something like that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:00

It was something similar to that. Yes.

Stephanie Bilbrey 04:02

So that actually really hit home with me because my husband and I, about seven years ago, had[b] been toying with the idea of moving across the country and going out west just up ending our lives. And in my sign off letter to the organization, I was working out at the time, I feel like I've been on autopilot. I've been checking boxes that my elders told me to check. So not really taking risks and listening to my heart. So that was my first kind of like, something's got to change. But I kind of leaned on moving across the country to be the, like, thing that opens everything and changes my career. And so, needless to say, that was not the solution. I'm so glad that I did it. It was amazing. I've actually moved back to the east coast since that initial. But, you know, so I kind of, like, shook up the industry that I was working in. I started working in higher education. I started digging heavier into a different industry. But turns out that wasn't the solution either. So one of my favorite quotes is, "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got." So it became evident that I was ready to move back across the country to be closer to family. I said, I have got to do right by my career. So that was probably the end of 2019[c], when I started listening to the podcast, and then listening to the podcast, became hiring a career coach who was actually a life coach. She was amazing. And so that foundational work began. And then I did at the bootcamp, probably about like, six months[d] after coaching.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:36

Wow. So this is... anyways, as you said, been a journey a decade in the making, but especially in the last three years[e] is what I'm hearing. And now you've been in a variety of different areas, you said, higher education, you've been in event planning, you've been in even the marketing side of events, if I remember correctly too, right. And also dipped into, like training and content development, those types of pieces as well. So you've been in a lot of areas, but it sounded like it wasn't as much about the area for you, it wasn't as much about, in some ways, the exact occupation for you, it's more about other pieces. So you know, as you were thinking about making this change back in back in 2019. And you're really starting to take some steps, then, what were some of the pieces that, at that point in time, you were feeling like you were either missing or wanting to change? What was the reason for the change?

Stephanie Bilbrey 06:37

I, you know, some people, they have a calling. And that's not the case for everyone. And I've listened to enough of these podcasts. And it's okay if you don't have a calling, it's okay.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:47

It is okay. It'll be.

Stephanie Bilbrey 06:49

You know, I made peace with that. But it's like I had these fits and starts of, I'm passionate about this. And then like a year or two or three later[f], I'm like, I hate this. You know, I had a very specific moment where I was working, moving away toward event planning over several years. But I had to lean back into it when I moved across the country, because I had to get a bridge job. And I remember this woman coming into the office and she was a client. It was a big conference Convention Center. And she came in devastated. The event is going on. And she said, "We agreed on white napkins. In ballroom A, there are white. In ballroom F, there are ivory." I mean, she looked like the world was ending. And I was like, I can't do this anymore. This is not what I want. So where's that spark? And you know, marketing wasn't doing it for me. And I even started like a local networking organization for marketing, because I was like, this is it. This is cutting edge. And I was like, man, I really like these people. But this isn't doing it for me either. So I think really what it comes down to is just, I wanted to feel engaged with the work I was doing and wanting to be excited about it, even if it's not a calling.

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:06

Calling such an interesting word. I have had lots... I've had probably, I don't know, 500 or so conversations where people are like, "Hey, what you do is a calling." And I don't even know if I identify with that word, to be quite honest. I can absolutely see how people get that. However, I really don't necessarily identify with that word. And I think that the reason I'm bringing that up is because it doesn't have to be something that you feel like is a calling. But it does have to hit all the buttons per se for you to feel fulfilled, rewarded, engaged. And maybe it's doesn't even matter that much about what word you identify with, but where you're feeling something towards it emotionally. And that is an ongoing, that is something that is on an ongoing basis. And often, we've seen that that lines up with, not just the work itself, but also the environment and the type and way that you're making an impact. And you can see that impact, because I think the story that you told is really interesting one because I have met some people in the world where they would describe that napkin situation. And they would say, you know what, this event mattered so much to that person that I felt very compelled to make sure that they had the white napkins as opposed to the ivory ones because I can see how I'm helping. But it's also totally okay, that that's not how you want to help and you don't get that type of fulfillment from that. Everybody has to find their own brand of fulfillment in many different ways.

Stephanie Bilbrey 09:34

There's an event planners out there, it is okay if that is very important to you. Absolutely. It just there... it is simply misalignment on my part.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:42

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, though. Like I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. And that is in many ways the challenge in this journey. So as you started going through and as you began trying to identify, hey, what would create a great next step for me? What will create an ideal next step for me? What did that beginning of the really look like for you? Where did you start? How did that work for you?

Stephanie Bilbrey 10:04

I would say that it started with when I engaged a career coach, it very quickly became life coaching. The thing that rose to the top most quickly as my initial mountain to climb was my aversion to risk.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:24

In what way? When you think of version to risk, I think there's lots of people that say that, but what does that mean for you?

Stephanie Bilbrey 10:29

I would say Foundation, like primarily financial risk, never leaping from one job without having another one secured, those kind of conventions. And then I just think you fear of the unknown is a risk. And, you know, a career change brings so many complicated emotions, and I was that I don't like that space very much. So much of that imposter syndrome. And what if I fail? That became very evident to me right away, that is your first area that you got to work on sister, is this work is hard, you know, listen to the podcast and knowing the challenge that lies ahead. Like, you've got to kind of get into a discomfort zone.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:13

I think that when you say, get into a discomfort zone, that is...

Stephanie Bilbrey 11:20

Sounds terrible to describe.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:22

It does sound kind of terrible. Doesn't it? Like, probably everybody who's listening to this right now has seen those images, where it's like, hey, you've got two circles that are on there, like, comfort zone in one circle is like everything you want completely outside of that. Everybody's probably seen some element of that. But why do you say that? Why was that such a big thing for you? What role did that play in this process? Can you think of a time where did you start getting outside your comfort zone beyond the risk?

Stephanie Bilbrey 11:52

Yeah, well, a couple things. You know, first of all, it just goes back to, "if you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got." And so by taking this kind of like incremental safe approach to career change, like just career nudges, was not yielding me the vision of engaged work. No, I didn't say calling. So you know, for me, I know this sounds strange, because it sounds so nice. But meditation and reflection, going back to what we were previously talking about, getting deeper into my why. So much of the bootcamp work resonated with me, you know, because it was your first response, you need to go deeper, you need to ask yourself, is it three why's, five why's? I can't remember.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:39

There's a problem solving methodology that has an exercise where it is five why's. And generally five why's is deep enough. And it goes something along the lines of, and I think this is what you're alluding to Stephanie is you're saying, "Well, okay, well, why am I at work? Well, because I need to earn money. But why do I need to earn?" Keep going to layer and layer and layer deeper. Or it's, "Hey, why do I feel that I want fulfilment?" And then going to the next level. "Well, because I feel like I'm missing something. Well, why do I feel like I'm missing something?" And just keeping going layer and layer until you get to what's called root cause. But now that our base caught up, why was that so interesting for you?

Stephanie Bilbrey 13:17

Because that's really where the meat was, where my values were, where the answers were, you know, I'll give you an example. And I think this is your eight day mini course, I love to the question, "If you had the opportunity to teach something, what would you teach?" And one of my answers was, I love branding. I love creating a whole world for, you know, a company and a look and a feel and a tone, especially, you know, a lot around communications, because that really is a major kind of pillar in my skills and my interest. But through asking why and digging deeper, I realized that there was more to that for me in that it was organizational culture, it was company branding, that I really was digging into and latching on to, that was a thread for me. So that led me down that path of not only is culture important to me, in wherever my career goes, company culture and good work life balance, and, you know, throw out those buzzwords, but I need to be in it, I need to help direct it in some way. Doesn't mean that like, I am the director of culture for company X. But it was through those kinds of exercises that I was able to pull out that thread. And if I hadn't been meditating, as part of that, creating that kind of, it doesn't sound uncomfortable when I say it, because it's like meditating is really nice. But for me and digging deeper and taking time to myself, also, that's a whole other thing that I'm sure, you know, many career searchers can understand and empathize with is just like the time to do this and to justify nothing. You just sit here and you think can be really hard. So another way that I was adding disruption to my life, adding discomfort is taking on hard conversations at work that I would have normally run away from screaming, for example, I don't like interpersonal conflict. I don't know who does but I'm like, risk, it's my kryptonite. But man did it get me out of my comfort zone, did it challenge me, did it keep me on my toes, does that directly relate to my career, you know, kind of work and the results that I got? No, but it got me in a better space to be broader in the way that I was thinking and just more welcoming of discomfort.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:40

That's really interesting. So one of the pieces and parts that I had picked up as you were going through making this change, just in tidbits of communication, I can't remember whether it's from a conversation or from an email. But it really seemed like this was an inching along process for you, and not in a bad way at all, in a great way. And when I say an inch long process, it seems like each of these little pieces, like taking the time, not just the meditation itself, but taking the time, the practice of taking the time to meditate and do something that normally wouldn't have or get outside your comfort zone with some of these conflict type conversations, each of these paved little tiny inch spaces to be able to get to the next step and the next inch. And that was really, really interesting to me, because I think you did such a great job of going one inch at a time consistently, even though it probably didn't always feel that way.

Stephanie Bilbrey 16:37

It felt like 17,000 inches at the same time.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:43

So here's my question with that, then, when you were beginning to recognize some of these themes, or threads that you mentioned earlier, and you started getting into the experimentation phase of the process, what we call the experimentation phase of the process, what did that look like for you?

Stephanie Bilbrey 17:00

It looked like one way was just reaching out to former colleagues, friends, one of the exercises that I loved within bootcamp was just getting feedback on your strengths from a variety of people. That was one way that I approached it. Another way was, honestly, dropping in words that really were resonating with me on LinkedIn, and seeing the web of connections that were there. So for me culture was a word. So I would find individuals on LinkedIn, some of them were second and third, you know, like weak ties, some of them were not. And then I just hit the phone hard trying to make those connections and asking good questions. 15, 20 minutes, that's all you got. So trying to understand what made them successful in their career, what they love about what they're doing, and culture. And I was talking to a lot of different people to just get as many perspectives about how one could interact with and be in support of culture.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:06

What are couple examples of those? Like, different... I know, we have a tendency to say, hey, it's less important about the job title, because that's drastically different from organization. But what were some of these people responsible for or doing or how were they interacted with culture? What's a couple examples of that?

Stephanie Bilbrey 18:20

Yeah, absolutely. Training, organizational development and change management. So that's those are kind of more like corporate buzzwords, they're pro size certified, which, you know, sounds intimidating. But then I also went down that, like, do I need a certification route, and some of them were internal communicators. So really responsible, obviously, this tend to be larger organizations that need that kind of role. And some of them were, I would say, more traditional kind of HR folks that took on more of the well being, you know, well, being champion, did those kinds of things.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:51

Interesting. So that is such a span. And it can be. And I think that that's true for every time that at least we're interacting with people through a career change process, that they start to discover, like this can be a big thing. Now, the other thing that we often see happen, and I don't know how much this did or didn't happen in your case, but when people go through, and they're having those types of conversations, or they're getting feedback in a new and different way, and getting an exposure and a new and different way, they're often getting realizations that help them to pinpoint where they might be interested in. So what did that look like for you? Did that happen for you? And how did that look?

Stephanie Bilbrey 19:30

Yes, it did happen for me. I would say what one area that resonated for me a lot was when I would talk to the internal communicators. And you know, it's funny. I mean, how many times have people said to you, "Scott, the writing was always on the wall, like, why didn't I see it? Like, it was like, duh..." But when you, you know, hindsight is 2020. But, you know, for so long and different organizations, you'd be in a situation where you would be at a table with your co workers, and somebody would ask you, "Why do you like working here? Why do you work here?" And my coworkers would have some mission based answer. "You know, I worked in higher education. I'm here for the students, and then it would get to me." And then I would...

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:09

Here for the white napkins.

Stephanie Bilbrey 20:11

Oh, y'all, I'm here for you. I mean, other people would say that too. "You know, I love my coworkers." But I worked in theater. Yes, the theaters, the art is so important. But I found myself saying, "I'm here for my coworkers. Before I'm here for the art, before I'm here for the students, before I'm here for the mission driven thing." So that was a huge realization for me. So then, kind of combining all of that together and realizing that that particular example, internal communications, that's my customer, is the coworkers.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:45

Okay, so that's such an interesting example, Stephanie, because I think there is so many different ways that that can go, first of all, you made a really great point that often when people go through this type of process, and they are trying to clarify what makes an amazing next step for them, and even beyond that, and what great looks like and you know, that we often, if we're helping with that type of change, then we'll often help in the form of creating what the ideal career looks like, and the profile of that, if you will. However, I think the great point that you made there is that so often it comes out on the other side where the writing has been there, and now you can clear enough away to be able to pay attention to it in a way that simply wasn't possible before. And I think so many people go into this process thinking, you know what, I'm going to discover something brand new, I'm going to be a beekeeper, or I'm going to be a, I don't know, insert your occupation here. That is just absolutely polar whitey from whatever, you know, people have been doing. And that's so often not the case, occasionally does happen. But so often, it's not the case. So great point. And then for you, my question becomes, as you were thinking about that writing on the wall piece, what caused you to begin to pay attention to it in a way that was helpful for you. And I'll preface that only to say that, I think so often people feel like, "Hey, I'm saying I'm here for you. But I really feel like I don't actually have an answer, or I feel bad about my answer, or I feel like I shouldn't have that answer, even if it is true." Instead of saying, "You know what this actually means something. And in your case, it really absolutely did mean something, meant everything in many different ways."

Stephanie Bilbrey 22:27

Yeah. You know, one of the terms that you hear a lot, one of the phrases in bootcamp is what can you not stop doing. And so for me, thinking about my co workers, and not that the customer is not important, the customer is very, very, very important. But when your knee jerk reaction, when you look at it process or communication or anything is internal versus external, that was a lightbulb for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:53

The other thing that I wanted to ask you, because it's easy to sit here and say, okay, you know, if we skip to the end of what the story looked like, for you, you got now one but multiple job offers, you did a fantastic job negotiating with both of those job offers. And you work, speaking of those conflict conversations, you had some more conversations that were way outside of your comfort zone. And you did a fantastic job with those. But aside from that, what would you say was the hardest part of making this type of career change? The type of career change where you're putting yourself in the way that you want to show up in the world first.

Stephanie Bilbrey 23:31

I would say that the hardest part for me was just taking risks in general, it's such an uncomfortable thing for me. But to that end, I moved across the country yet again, without a job, it really was the right decision for me. But the work was really hard and sometimes a confidence killer. And so to be so drained, you know, when it's and you're already trying to fight your fear. You know, like, I don't know if I can call this person, I don't know, if I can, you know, leave this job, in addition to just being kind of run ragged from the phone calls and trying to figure it out that I wasn't anticipating that drain and that challenge that uphill battle, I thought it was going to be ripping resumes apart. You know, it's like, oh, that's I'm embarrassed. Okay. It goes so much deeper than that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:27

If you were to go back for just a second to Stephanie, I think it was at the end of 2019, you said you're really starting to begin to act on this. What advice would you give to that person who's in that same place where they realize and recognize that what the situation they're in is not where they want to be, and they know that there is something much better out there but they're in that place where it's those fears are popping up. And in that beginning stages, it's such a hard place to be, to even come get into making this type of change and, you know, call it a career change. But really, it's a life change.

Stephanie Bilbrey 25:05

Yeah, I definitely would have told myself to start even sooner.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:10

Why... Hold on. Why is that? I'm curious.

Stephanie Bilbrey 25:12

I don't regret my career trajectory at all, but to have looked back and known that so many years were not spent as engaged as I could have been, as happy as I could have been just kind of miring through, that would be a motivator right there to tell, you know, 2019 Stephanie, because I mean, to tell 2011 Stephanie[g], "Hey, this kind of incremental safety net approach won't yield what your heart really wants" you know, that's like a big overarching. So 2019[h] kind of fast forward a little bit. And I had already learned a little bit of lessons, I would say, the advice that I would have given myself is to research more to be as curious as possible, I tend to be a doer, not that I'm not a thinker. However, if given the opportunity, I rely more heavily on go implementation, press the start button, knowing what I know now, creating more opportunities for research, more opportunities for curiosity, I think would have been really helpful.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:22

That's interesting. Any other pieces of advice that you would give to those people who are just now thinking about this, or maybe in the midst of a career change? Because you've done a great job going all the way through, and I know that some of the things that you've learned through this process will probably help you for many, many years to come, not just now, in the immediate future. What did you say? You're 60 days in to your new role, I use it in a different place, then two or three years ago. So anything else that you would encourage that person to think about as it relates to this process?

Stephanie Bilbrey 26:55

Well, first of all, it truly takes a village to change careers, in my opinion. I think there's this expectation that we put on ourselves that we can figure this out, that it's not rocket science, and it's my own personal journey. So it's just on me, and that is so not the case. Not only does it take a village of your immediate, you know, friends or family rely on some of those folks, as well, but it takes a village of like strangers, actually, you know, depending on the kind of research that you need to do and the connections that you want to make, you're like reaching out into the great unknown to say, "Hi, your LinkedIn profile story is fascinating to me. Do you have 15 minutes?" And that is.... that can be very uncomfortable. But some of those uncomfortable reach outs yielded such critical connections for me, and specifically, what I really latched on to and loved was make it easy for people to say "yes", so I worked on that a lot. And the other, oh, there was a podcast that you did, Jay Papasan. Yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:57

Yeah. Jay is great.

Stephanie Bilbrey 27:59

That piece of advice that he gives about relationships are like bank accounts, you have to put in deposits before he can make withdrawals is actually this specific piece of advice that got the ball rolling to get me to the job, where I am right now, I took that. And I realized there was a... specifically, one day I said, "I need to make some deposits." And there was a former coworker. And I reached out to her with no agenda whatsoever. And we had kind of like, kept in touch on social media, but I knew how connected she was on LinkedIn. And I said, "How was your holiday? How are your kids?" And the rest, I don't want to say like the rest is history, first of all, it's really trite. And the next, like, two or three months were[i], like, really painful on a roller coaster. But it was literally that idea. And therefore that moment of, you know, sending that email that set the rest in motion.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:54

That's interesting. So you're saying that taking that idea of building relationships or giving to others without expectation as part of how I'm interpreting that and making those deposits, if you will, then that is part of what led to this actual opportunity for you?

Stephanie Bilbrey 29:14

Yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:14

Very cool. Love it. We see that so often. But I think that's also a really hard thing for so many of us, because the thoughts that jump into our heads are like, but I need a job, or... but I need, like, where do I do the thing that then gets me to the job offer? Like how does... and it is in many ways going against those short term benefits or short term type of tactics that then allows to focus on long term. That's the big takeaway that I have more recently realized about this type of process and how we guide people through it. It requires long term approaches to get to long term solutions versus short term approaches get to short term solutions that you don't want to be in for very long jobs or otherwise.

Stephanie Bilbrey 30:00

Yes, and then, you know, just like totally on a granular level, the applicant tracking system traditional way, applying, resume, cover letter is terrible. And also way less likely in, from what I've seen, than the relationship pathway to not only a career change, but the actual job, it kind of does double duty, you know, in that way, like, I spent so much time on cover letters and resumes that went nowhere.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:33

Oh, my goodness, yes. I feel like you do seven hours of podcast on why not to do that. However, we'll make that into a series later on.

Stephanie Bilbrey 30:42

Right. I mean, you do live some success. But overall, it is not what got me where I am right now.

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:50

I think that it really depends on what your goal is. We've really toyed around with how to explain this in a way that makes sense. But it's hard to explain it in a soundbite. But if you think it, think about it, in terms of, if your goal is to get a job, maybe even a well paying job as quickly as possible, then that means that, you know, going on job boards and looking at what is open right this second, and what people need and trying to match yourself into that, that is the best way to go. If that's your goal. However, if you have goals, much more likely you've described, Stephanie, where you were looking for that fulfillment, you were looking for that calling, you're looking for that thing that was missing in one way or another or multiple things that were missing. And that's really what you want. And that's a priority for you. It requires a completely different solution. It requires completely different tactics, it requires completely different. So I think it really does depend on your goal. And you've done a really nice job taking steps that lead you towards what your goal actually was. One more thing I really wanted to ask you about. Partially because we were just talking through it before we even really hit the record button here at the beginning of our conversation, but you did such a nice job working through multiple offers. And that was very uncomfortable for you. So first of all, what's not always obvious is the work that it takes to get to more than one offer. You know, when we talk about two or three or four offers on this podcast, I think it gets glossed over and people don't realize how much work but what was your biggest takeaway in working through that type of situation before we end here.

Stephanie Bilbrey 32:28

I would say transparency and honesty were really, really helpful to call someone that, and I have to say that this particular human being was so so lovely, and saw value in me that other interview situations had not... I couldn't feel that, the way that I could feel this with this particular company, and individual. So hello makes it so much harder. But so then saying those kinds of things and saying, "I didn't envision that it would work out this way. And I was so genuinely excited for this opportunity. I hope we can stay in touch." We're helpful, I think, to kind of say there was a substantial amount of respect and excitement, but then a level of understanding as well, to help ease the flow.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:22

Stephanie, great job again, thank you so much for coming and sharing your story. I have said that earlier. But I absolutely mean it, I really, really appreciate it. And I know I've told you before too, but anything you need, don't hesitate to ask.

Stephanie Bilbrey 33:38

Thank you very much.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:40

Yeah, absolutely. My pleasure. Well actually shoot, it felt like 15 minutes of conversation. And we are at time. I'm looking at the time again. And oh, my goodness. If there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask. Otherwise, I know that you all are finishing up on the community side. So I really appreciate your work there too. And I know that Phillip has been especially excited about some of the feedback that you brought to the table. So thank you for that too.

Stephanie Bilbrey 34:07

Absolutely. It's been a pleasure throughout this entire process. I want to thank you for inviting me on to the podcast, but just the community that is the bootcamp has been such a delight as well. And the support of your team couldn't have done most of this, going to say most, if not all of this, without you guys. So I am very grateful for this team.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:30

You are very, very welcome. And I so appreciate that. I am way more happy than I'm going to be able to describe in the next 10 seconds here. That is wonderful to hear on so many different levels.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:44

Hey, many of the stories that you've heard on the podcast are from listeners that have decided that they wanted to take action and taking the first step of having a conversation with our team to try and figure out how we can help. And if you want to implement what you have heard, and you want to completely change your life and your career, then let's figure out how we can help. So here's what I would suggest, just open your phone right now and open your email app. And I'm going to give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com, just email me and put 'Conversation' in the subject line. And then when you do that, I'll introduce you to the right person on our team. And you can have a conversation with us, we'll try and understand your goals and what you want to accomplish in your career no matter where you're at. And we can figure out the very best way that we can help you and your situation. So open up right now and send me an email with 'Conversation' in the subject line scott@happentoyourcareer.com.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:49

A long time ago, I used to work forTarget. And I did Human Resource Management and Leadership for Target. And it was a pretty wonderful opportunity. I loved the company, they took great care of me, much of the leadership training that I got, and have to this day, came from Target putting time and money and effort into me. So I'm forever appreciative of that. Also, at the same time, I was working for them. And they decided that they wanted to move their HR that supported stores more and more and more into the stores and more into the standard retail environment. Now, that was exactly the right decision for them. But it really wasn't that great for me, to be honest. And that's something that I have seen over and over and over again, where people go through, they get a job, it's amazing opportunity. And then the company changes or evolves into something else. And it's no longer amazing. It's not even awesome. It's the opposite of that. That happens.

Nick Neves 37:12

I was in a job working in customer success, which for those who don't know, it's kind of like customer support, with like a little bit of sales mixed in. And I was doing this job, it was kind of morphing more into a sales role. There's a lot of pressure to kind of move into, like a sales type role, which is just not for me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 37:30

That's Nick. In less than two years, his Customer Success role began to change to, well, being almost all a sales role. And as it began to uncover his strengths and define what he really wanted in life, he knew that he had to make a change. But how do you move from a role that's no longer ideal to one that actually uses your strengths? Alright, well, spoiler alert, Nick does a really nice job of this. And as you heard in the introduction, he actually transitions to accounting. All that and plenty more next week[j] right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically. Even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

Life’s Great Question with Tom Rath

on this episode

Contribution is often overlooked as we look at creating a career that is fulfilling and meaningful.

Tom Rath joins us to help you discover how you contribute to the world. Tom has written many books, his newest out is out now and it is titled, “Life’s Great Question: Discover How You Contribute to the World.” He also wrote “Strengths Finder 2.0” and the Clifton Strengths assessment that goes along with it.

What you’ll learn

  • How fighting cancer led to Tom’s writing
  • The challenge leadership faces to help people see how they make an important contribution
  • How to find the intersection between passion, personality, and demand
  • The myth behind finding your purpose
  • How you can challenge yourself and your assumptions to grow and contribute in a more meaningful way

Books that Tom has authored or coauthored 

StrengthsFinder 2.0 

Eat Move Sleep – How Small Choices Lead To Big Changes 

Life’s Great Question 

Wellbeing – The Five Essential Elements

Strengths Based Leadership

It’s Not About You: A Brief Guide To A Meaningful Life

How Full Is Your Bucket?

Are You Fully Charged?

Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford To Live Without

How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids

Assessments that Tom has helped to create

Strengths Finder 2.0 now known as Clifton Strengths Assessment

Contribify

Success Stories

“It’s hard to find something that fits, that’s why so many people change careers. When I finally understood my strengths and how I could apply them it all made sense. It just made it easier to see what types of jobs and roles would fit me. In my new career I get to do the marketing that I love with a company I’m excited about.”

Kirby Verceles, Sales & Marketing Director

All the stars aligned and I ended up finding the right thing at the right place at the right time, and it was you guys! Everything that you said was speaking to me and the things that you had done in the job that you had transitioned out of and into. Also how finding work that you love is your passion for people! Honestly, it was you Scott, I mean, the way that you talked about it, how passionate you were, I was like, there's no way he's gonna put out a faulty product. So I'm gonna try it, you know… I recommend you to all my friends, you know, even if they don't realize that they're looking for a new job, I'm like this is the first step, let's do this! Even if you maybe don't move out of this career. This is going to help!

Maggie Romanovich, Director of Learning and Development, United States/Canada

With Phillip's help, I was able to believe that this is the area that I should be in because I just feel a lot of passion towards it. And the aspects of "what if I'm not paid enough, after transferring into this new field?" HTYC motivated me to not be afraid of those things, and just keep looking and connecting with people.

Vicky Meng, Treasury & Finaincial Analysis, United States/Canada

Tom Rath 00:01

The current apparatus and language we have for describing why we do what we do and kind of summarize in our careers, it's resumes and job descriptions, for the most part. And I couldn't imagine a more cold and sterile and lifeless way to sum up a person if I worked on it, than a resume.

Introduction 00:22

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what it does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change. Keep listening. Here's Scott, Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:46

Tom Rath, is a best selling author and researcher who has spent the past two decades studying how work can improve human health and well being. He's written a variety of books, his newest out is now available, and it's titled “Life's Great Question” discover how you contribute to the world. And if you don't recognize his name right away, I'm 100% sure that you'll recognize Strengths Finder 2.0, and the assessment that goes along with that book. We've talked about it many times on this show, but I'll tell you that additionally, while doing all of his research, his writing and many other contributions along the way, he's also spent the last 25 years battling cancer, tumors and other health challenges. And one other point is that even though he's written many books, he was also a reluctant author and Tom, that's where I would love to start. Can we go way back in your life for just a second? Your life and your career for a moment and can you share how the author part of your life came to be? Because as I recall, at first, you never really considered yourself to be much of a writer.

Tom Rath 01:51

You know, I still don’t, just for the record. It was fascinating. I grew up as kind of analytical, still I'm a numbers guy - I'm far more comfortable with a really good spreadsheet or a data set instead of in front of an audience or sharing my writing with people. But I've learned to do the latter out of necessity, for both out of necessity, I guess, and that really got the writing piece got started when, as you mentioned, I'd been battling cancer, I lost an eye to cancer when I was 16 and been battling cancer, my kidneys and pancreas and spine ever since then. And so when I was about 25, I'd been working with my grandfather, Don Clifton, on the real early versions and iterations of Strengths Finder, I was the project manager and we're trying to pull together all the science and ideas that Don had for many decades into one web based assessment and we were a few years into that project and we found out that Don had stage four gastroesophageal cancer. I was the one in the family, I was kind of the resident expert in cancer by that time. And so I decided to dedicate most of my time to traveling around the country with Don to various medical centers, trying to figure out how can we help him to live a little bit longer and keep him alive as long as possible. And as a part of that process, I remember at some point that when I was a kid growing up, Don always said he thought it was a tragedy that we waited to eulogize people until after they were gone. So, I was determined to make sure that didn't happen with Don and I wanted him to know everything that he contributed to my life. And so I stayed up for several nights in a row and wrote a 15 or 20 page handwritten letter to Don about the big influence that he'd had on my life when I needed it most and I gave that letter to Don on a hot summer day when we were in Houston at a medical center there. And one thing I've learned from that was it was a deeply moving experience. I highly recommend everybody do that for someone who's had a big impact on their life. But then what surprised me most from that was two days later, Don pulled out that letter and said, "You know, I've been reading and rereading this. And I think you have a real talent for bringing things to life with words." And he said, "Do you think we could write a book about your story?" And this kind of different bucket topic that he'd been talking about for years. "Do you think we could do that in the next two months?" Is what he said to me. And I was taken aback by a challenge, because I would never have shared a word for public consumption if Don hadn't given me that very specific challenge and said that he identified and saw something there. And to make a really long story short, we ended up finishing a draft of that book just before dawn passed away about a year later. And that book went on to be called “How Full Is Your Bucket” which originally took off in the business world and now it's used in, I guess most of the schools across the country is a core part of their behavioral strategy with kids and it's turned into a children's book that I worked on with Don's daughter, my Aunt Mary, and her very meaningful project. But there's no way I would have gotten into the writing at all if Don hadn't said he spotted something really specific there. And I think as you alluded to before I'd had an AP English teacher telling me to stick with math and numbers instead of writing. I'd been through StrengthsFinder, 15 times at that point, and every other psychological test you can imagine growing up in a family of psychologists, and no one had ever told me that I had a talent to write until that point. So big learning for me from that experience is that, you know, one of the most valuable things you can do for another person is to help them spot a talent they may not have uncovered.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:16

I think that's so interesting. And we see that again and again, and again, to the point when we end up getting the opportunity to help people, we actually embed that into the process to be able to, well, we've engineered some ways in order to solicit that type of feedback as well. You're talking about it from one pretext. The most important thing that you can do is be able to share that with other people, which I totally agree with and benefactor of that many times throughout my life and turned me on to things I would not have otherwise have done. However, I think that there are ways to solicit that feedback too and that leads me to my next question. Have you ever thought about it or experienced it from the other side, too? Well, I guess suppose you know, the Strengths Finder Assessment is actually one way to do that. Now that I think about it.

Tom Rath 06:03

Yeah. And, you know, I think it's a big leadership challenge for anyone who wants to lead in the future, is how can you view it as a big part of your job to, kind of, hold a mirror up, be observant, help people identify unique areas where they're making an important contribution, they may not have noticed, and in addition to just kind of spotting some of the raw talents and examples of excellence, to help that person connect their daily efforts, with the meaningful and positive influence it's having on other people. I think that may be one of the biggest and most valuable leadership exercises in the next 25 years.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:42

Well, when you think back to, I mean, probably everybody's had this conversation, when you think back to people that have made an impact in your life, you know, whether it be teachers or family members or whatever, I have noticed the pattern over the years that a lot of the times it's been those people that have believed, that's what people will say in conversation, like this person believed in me. However, in the functionality of it, it often is that sharing of that type of feedback that you're describing.

Tom Rath 07:14

It's a great point. That’s a unique insight there because I agree with you that the outcome is that a person testifies that a mentor believed in me, but in reality, what was probably occurring pragmatically in the moment was that person was identifying a few real specific things, and helping you to see that. So I think to break it down to that level is important.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:37

Well, I don't know that I thought about it in that way until this moment, this conversation. So I'm glad that we're talking about it. Before we actually hit the record button here, I was telling you a little bit about, you'd ask me how on earth did I get into this, you know, what we do now with our company and getting to impact people in this way? And I started sharing with you a little bit of the story where I had, you know, been in a role that was really unhealthy for me and certainly was not a great fit for a variety of different reasons, including strengths. But along the lines that you mentioned, most of us don't share what it is that we appreciate about somebody until they're gone often in the eulogy. I've got to say that I got turned on to your work, maybe I think it was approaching 15 years ago or so. And even before I knew, you know, all about you, I came into contact with this idea that strengths are a different way to look at it, a different lens to look at it through. And actually, that is what made it possible for me to begin to view work differently. So the reason I'm bringing that up is I want to say thank you, it's made a tremendous impact on my life. Actually, I can't think, now that I'm talking out loud about it, I can't think of any other guests that we've had on the podcast where they've impacted my life and my views for as many years. So thank you very, very much. I appreciate that.

Tom Rath 08:57

Thank you. I appreciate your saying that and it's meaningful. And I, you know, it's one of the things that I've been thinking about a lot lately is, I mean, really, what I've been trying to kind of continue to help a lot of those efforts that my grandfather and others started to continue to grow even more now that he's gone and continue to help more people. And I think maybe 20 plus million people have now been through the online tool that we put together back then, which is wonderful to see. But that's one of the things I've realized I worked on this most recent book, “Life’s Great Question” about what are the things that you and I and any of us can work on yet today that at least get a chance to continue to have a positive influence with someone a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, whether we're there laboring on that task or not, or whether we're even here a decade from now, or generation from now. Because the more time we have the opportunity to allocate to efforts like that, that can grow in our absence in a given day. I think it also makes days easier and smoother and less stressful, because it takes some of the pressure off of days where you're just responding, everything flying at you, and maybe looking inward a little too much.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:06

So here's what I'm curious about that, particularly as it relates to contribution. Actually, semi-recently, I had a conversation with Dan Pink. We were talking about it from a different standpoint, we're talking about passion being an overused and misleading word. And he was saying that he felt contribution was a much better way to measure what you're getting out of your work in a variety of different ways. But you have shifted some of your views, I'm going to call it for lack of a better word, over the years to focus more on this contribution element. And I'm curious, what are some of the events along the way that have caused you to really shift and place a lot more focus on, you know, how a person can contribute to the world?

Tom Rath 10:48

Yeah, you know, and some of it comes back to what you said, Dan was touching on who I've had good conversations with on that topic as well. And it's when you're giving someone guidance at a college, for example, to just follow their passions. I think the problem there is it assumes that that person is kind of the center of the world and all the needs of the world need to circle and alignment around that person when one the world usually doesn't work that way, unfortunately. And two, the problem is it's almost like we're ignoring the entire demand side of an equation and an economic model, right? Where I think it's important to focus on personality and it's important to focus on passion. And it's important to focus on things that you're interested in. But unless there's demand for that supply that is you, it's really not that helpful to the rest of the world and the big job market of what people need out there. So most of my work in the last few years has kind of been focused on, I think, what I like a lot of your work on, how do you begin to pull together the center between who you are and what the world out there needs. And so, on this project, I probably overcompensated and just focusing on what the world needs, because I think a lot of us have done a lot of work already on how do you look inward and have more self awareness and look at who you are personally, what your passions are. So now it's about mapping the other side of that equation. And then essentially bringing arbitrage a lot closer between the supply and demand of people and what the needs are out there and the rest of the world.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:18

You're absolutely right that I feel very strongly, that's a lot of the work that my team and I get to do every single day is help find, I don't know if you want to call it the intersection between a lot of those areas. But I'm curious when you think about that as a whole, what are some of the myths that surround it currently, particularly as it relates to contribution?

Tom Rath 12:37

Another myth that I stumbled on when I was being interviewed a couple months ago is, someone asked me about my purpose in life. And when I found it, and I hadn't given it much thought I just laughed when I heard the question, because I don't think I've found any purpose. And I'm not looking for one either. Energy, I mean, it just kind of hit me because there's so much talk about that I almost titled this book, something about pursuing purpose, I think. And then the more I got into the meaning of what were what I was really trying to say, I realized that, as I'm sure you've learned from all your work on careers. A career is kind of a spiky pattern and trajectory over years and over decades, and I've yet to meet a single person who fell out of college into the perfect job that they stayed with forever and just enjoyed as much as they could. It's usually, you might start off in a tough place. Make a little bit of progress after a year, you kind of backtrack for 18 months and things spike up again, when you get involved in something new at work, and it's this very erratic, bumpy pattern over time. But one thing that matters is that you're making some forward progress. And you have a good trajectory over the span of years, and especially over the span of decades. And for the most part I found that to be pretty true is people learn more about themselves, they learn more about how they can serve their community, they learn more about how they can find a job that also serves their life, like we were talking about a little bit earlier. At the very highest level, I think all of us need to rethink there were fundamental relationship we have with our effort and our work in life because organizations to be really frank, organizations have got it down to a science in terms of determining how much discretionary effort they're extracting out of us on a regular basis. But we as individuals have not done anywhere near enough work to ensure that our lives and our families and our communities are better off because of the work that we're doing, I think the more we begin to connect those dots, not only is it good for the trajectory of our careers over time, but it helps us to do more meaningful work on a daily basis as well.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:39

Part of what I believe I'm hearing you say in there that's behind what you said, for lack of a better phrase is, the more that you're taking control, or the more that you're taking agency in that process of determining what that is probably the more that you're going to be able to contribute to any given organization or determine what really is the right fit for you. Am I getting that right first of all?

Tom Rath 15:02

Yes. And it's an important point because I, honestly, you mentioned earlier, you know, a good day for me is when I prove myself wrong and challenge one of my existing assumptions. And 10 years ago, I was really convinced that after the big wave of employee engagement work that I've been a part of and seen companies get really good at showing how they can emotionally engage workers more during the day, I thought, well, hey, this big movement around, we can measure well being, we can quantify someone's overall well being. So now companies should care about that. And companies should begin to prove to workers that they're better parents, and they know how to manage your finances better. And they're better physical health, because they're a part of this organization instead of another one, and so forth. And to be honest, I've spent the last five or 10 years just running into wall after wall after wall on that topic. And I think eventually, a few organizations will get there. Where they're, they care about and they're proving that they're demonstrably improving a person's well being because they work for that company. But I don't think 99% of us as individuals, I don't think we can wait until companies finally get to that point. I think we probably need to take ownership ourselves to make sure that those conditions are present because companies just are not structured to be adapt, and good at that yet today.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:15

That so interesting that you say that and from that perspective and I'm very interested in some of the walls that you've run up against to, as we have looked at the impact, and I say we, my team and I, the impact that we want to make on the world, you know, we made some choices early on about are we impact it from a one on one level and, you know, consumer standpoint, or are we impacting it from an organizational standpoint? And I think the real answer is that we have to do some of both. However, part of our philosophy for choosing to go heavy on impacting one person at a time is that we believe if we can create enough movement in what people are expecting out of their organizations and taking control of their own career and what they want, then that will be able to set some level of new standard for guiding leadership in the organization too, and that will impact it in a different way, partially from the bottom up, if you want to look at it that way. But my question becomes, though for you is, how do you see that people can play more of an ownership role in that? What are the areas where you would encourage them based on your experiences based on your research?

Tom Rath 17:29

Yeah. And you know, it's also a part of the answer to the organizational question is, what I have learned works is when one leader individually can view themselves as being a role model for valuing the well being of employees throughout an organization. And that's the one thing that leaders I spent time with are comfortable with, and some of the best ones are learning to do. So I think if for a leader to understand that if they're talking about their need for kind of making the right physical health decisions, being more active throughout the day, value in sleep, talking to people about their schedule so they can get more sleep, talking to people about how they want them to be involved in their communities and talking about the importance of close relationships and being good parents when they get home and like if organizational leaders can demonstrate those values or each of us as individuals can, I think we can be very powerful role models. And over the span of years, that changes the cultural expectation where each employee of an organization knows that it's not only okay, it's valued that you should take care of your own well being unexpected. Not only is your life better off because you decided to join this team and this organization, but you really feel like your communities are better off your customers, your clients, the people you serve, their lives are better off because you chose to be a part of that organization. And you know, some of this gets back to the real practical kind of brass tacks of let's say you're in food service, for example, and you're preparing food in a kitchen. If you're stuck in the back of that kitchen and there are no windows and you can't see people out there in the booths eating the food and enjoying it. You make poor quality food, you feel less satisfaction about your job and you make less nutritious food when scientists study this and that holds true everywhere from cooks, to radiologists, to software developers to people in manufacturing environments, we need to find ways to see the positive impact of our work on a day to day basis, in order for it to give us that energy and well being so that, I really do believe that in the future, we should expect that we can go home after a day of work with as much or more energy than when we showed up in the morning and that's a good bar and litmus test for people to think about.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:42

I love that. Love that. Obviously, I'm a little biased, as you might imagine, however, I think that is a great way to think about it. And on a slightly different note, one of the things that you've done a lot of work over the years and is in the areas of energy and health and particularly as it relates to well being and when you're talking about this idea of you know, being able to go to work and then come home with as much or more energy as you had, you know, at the beginning of the day, I'm curious, what are some of the most impactful things that you have found? If you were to take what you've learned over the last, you know, X number of years and say, you know, here's some of the things that people don't realize or don't know, what would those be?

Tom Rath 20:29

Working on the book “Wellbeing” that I co-authored with my friend and colleague at Gallup Jim Harter, we learned a lot about, what the key determinants of well being and it sinks pretty well with what I've learned personally as well. I mean, a lot of it starts at just a basic physical level, where, if no matter how bad your day is today, if you get one good night of sleep, it essentially functions like the reset button on a smartphone or video game where you get to wake up the next day, you're more likely to be active throughout the day, you're more likely to eat a lot of the right foods. I realized that if I eat some of the right things early in the day, I have more energy in meetings or presentations later in the day. I have a lot more energy to keep up with my 9 year old, my 11 year old when I’m done with the work at the end of the day. And it also gets into I think, to have a really good day you need to have pretty frequent social interactions and regular contact with people. That's one of the biggest drivers of well being. The other big key in the workplace is just the minimization of unnecessary and chronic stress is one of the biggest factors and all of the research that I've conducted and looked at. So if you can help people to avoid those recurring constant moments of unnecessary stress throughout the day, and then as we talked about a little bit already, to be able to connect a little bit of your work with the influence it has on another person or on community or customers that you serve, that’s another big bar in the equation.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:50

That totally makes sense. But it also makes me think of a lot of those things we know already and I'm a total nerd for behavioral change and those type of topics. However, what do you see are the some of the biggest reasons why, even though we might know some of those things, that we just don't do them or we don't choose to do them or maybe we don't realize just how big of an impact that they can have in our lives?

Tom Rath 22:16

You know, I think there are a couple things. One, is that, I've grown up in, and seen a very admirable kind of hard working culture and mindset when it comes to work where I mean, when I was young, nobody I knew would admit to needing a whole eight hours of sleep or talk about it, I need more sleep. And it wasn't socially valued. And even to this day, every single day, I encountered leaders who I admire a lot, well meaning people, and they say, “Well, of course, I want all my employees to have good health and well being” but they say, “I don't need to.” So they're still up on email, midnight, shooting off emails to people and bugging people on the weekends and saying, oh, it's just me. I don't expect that. Well, if you're in a leadership role, you're setting the tone and that is expected of everyone whether you say it or not. So I think some of those cultural elements, you see where they come from, and they probably come from good intentions and good work ethic, we need to begin to turn that around back a little bit. I think one of the other challenges is, we just have so much stuff flying at us from text messages and dings and emails and phone calls that we don't take enough time to sit back and say, “here's what's important that I need to make sure I have the energy to be my best every day.” And so we need to begin to prioritize things like building some activity in your day, whether it's getting up to go for a walk or walking to the second closest Starbucks or just taking the time to go eat and digest a healthy meal in the middle of the day. So you can continue to get more done in less time throughout the afternoon. And a part of that I think, starts with building some of the right defaults into an environment. So if you know that there are only healthy snacks within arm's reach, and you structure your environment in your workspace for that to occur, and I mean, I know in my house if the sum of the unhealthy things like the chips or the peanut butter, pretzels make it into my cabinet, from the grocery store, they're going to get eaten...

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:09

They will be...

Tom Rath 24:10

Ours. And so to kind of structure your environment to avoid some of that temptation to make you need to go out and take a walk to, when I travel, for example, I know that I need to allocate about 10 hours to get eight good hours of sleep. And that means taking an earlier flight, going to bed two hours earlier, and working back from what I know I need to be sharp at eight o'clock in the morning when I'm on the road. And so I think to structure our days so that we can be our best is... that's one way to start to manage around it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:41

I have taken a ton of steps personally to remove myself from all the stuff that flies at you, like you mentioned a minute ago, you know, ranging from I have an amazing executive assistant that helps with a lot of that. I've set up a lot of systems in place, but even back I don't know, you know, 20 plus years ago or so, like keeping as gross as it sounds to a lot of people like I'd keep a can of tuna fish and a can of black beans in my desk so that I would never not have food available. But what I'm curious about is, what are some of the steps that you've taken personally, to filter yourself from all the stuff or remove a bunch of the stuff or be able to handle it differently, and then to build some of those pieces in or out of your environment.

Tom Rath 25:29

I've taken a lot of steps in the last few years to try and get myself more opportunities to focus time during the day on projects that can continue to grow when I'm not working on them. And a part of that gets back to a question that Dr. King post many years ago, it kind of anchored this most recent book where he said, “Life's most persistent and urgent question is, what are you doing for others?” And, you know, that may sound like a big broad existential question. I've actually used that exact question, try to ask myself that every single day before I start my work to say “am I anchoring at least an hour, ideally more in a given day towards efforts that really make a substantive contribution for other people and can grow in my absence.” And I've found that when you do that, it makes it easier to both literally focus time on those efforts. But it also makes it easier to be objective about tuning out some of the things that matter less. So I just this week had a conversation with a team that I'm working with. And we were all kind of getting to know one another and going through the talking about the contribify exercise. It's a part of the book. So we kind of understand why we do what we do. And I said, “you know, I'll be really honest, and I had to frame this up a bit. So it didn't sound too callous, I guess.” But I said every extra email that I don't get as a gift from above, I mean, even if it's I know a lot of times it's pleasantries, and we've been burst and thank you and thank you in person for thanking you and doing all this. But the more I can minimize what I need to go through every few hours when I check back into my inbox, that really does save a lot of time and a lot of cognitive effort. And I've learned that when I have some of those conversations early on with people, then we view it as appreciation of one another's time.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:12

I love that idea. It was probably about four years ago where I really got turned on to that idea to the point where when I work with my team now, and when we bring somebody on board to our team, we talk about, like, we don't necessarily need to say thank you to every thing that goes through our Slack channel, or we can do everybody else on the team a favor by putting in our end where it says no reply needed or, you know, little things that add up drastically over time. But what I've noticed in an average environment, that type of shift feels insurmountable sometimes. So I'm curious what you have found that people can just start doing to minimize those types of things that don't need to be there so that we can focus on contribution?

Tom Rath 27:56

There are some roles where you need to be just immediately responsive for emergency purposes and the like. And if you're in a role like that, I think to kind of bracket the time where you need to be in that mode, so that you at least hold out a little bit of time in a day where you can have more clear and productive thoughts. It's not being constantly interrupted is really important. But I do think one of the questions that Bill George, who's who I really admire and respect over the years asked me when we were talking a few years ago was about, you know, “how do you prioritize between what's really urgent versus what's truly important?” And there are a lot of things that fly at me in a given day that on the surface seem to be urgent. But when I take a breath and step back and say, “is it really important?” it changes my response. So instead of getting back to something that just claims to be pressing, but really isn’t, I've found that if I wait until tomorrow morning, and batch process and respond then, not only is that more efficacious for me getting things done in a day, it also sets a better expectation with the other person who maybe have never had a conversation with before about whether they can continue to email me. And I'm just going to be on 24/7 to respond to them instantly. And so I like where you were going with that, where it's really about learning to have more respect for your own time and showing respect for the time of the people you're interacting with and working with on a regular basis. So they know that you're working to value their time, just as much.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:32

One of the crazy things that on that note that you're mentioning, it seems like a lot of that is prioritization. And I feel like if we would really oversimplify what we get to do here, at Happen To Your Career, a lot of it is teaching people how to better prioritize and behave around, you know, what is actually most important, and I feel like that's a lot of what you're describing in one way or another, but also, I think about this idea that you're talking about, and, you know, how can I contribute and how can I make that important, and I still find that it can be really, really difficult. And I don't know if I necessarily have a question about that, except to say that or except to ask that so far, we've talked about, you know, those things that stop contribution. Yeah, our conversation up till now has been a lot about, hey, what is getting in the way of contribution. But when we focus on the profile itself, can you share a little bit about that so people can understand, you know, how they might use that tool or any tool or just an understanding how they can contribute better.

Tom Rath 30:39

One of the reason one of the things I've learned is I try to help people get more focused on contribution and some of the meaning that's connected to their work is that the current apparatus and language we have for describing why we do what we do and kind of summarize in our careers, it's resumes and job descriptions, for the most part. I couldn't imagine a more cold and sterile and lifeless way to sum up a person if I worked on it, than a resume. I think we've got to find ways to bring the humanity of what we do and why we do it back into the discussion. So the way that we're trying to help readers when people who buy the “Life Great Question” book or the e-book, get a code to go to this contribify, our website and assemble, they go through an inventory and ask a bunch of questions. And then they get to build this profile. That's, I hope, a far more human version of a resume about kind of a positive baseball card synopsis of a person. But what it asks you about is it starts with what are the big roles you play in life. So for me, that's being a dad and a husband and a researcher and a writer. And then it asks about the miles or most influential life experiences that you've had over your lifetime. And some of those are positive. Some of those, like I mentioned, my own example, were negative, or they were more challenging or traumatic events, but they really shaped who I am and why I do what I do. And then it asks about what your natural talents, your strengths are in your own words, and it takes people through a series of about 50 questions where they prioritize how they want to contribute to a given team they're thinking about and they can go back and take out as many times as they want as they join new teams and are thinking differently about how they want to contribute. But the product is a nice one page scorecard and then a lengthier report with ideas about how you can optimally contribute to a team. My one hope is just that people will use that and share the second code in the book with a friend or a team member or colleague so that they can have a conversation as a team, when ideally when you're forming a new team, to say, “here's who I am, here’s what's important to me, here's how I want to be known in life, here have been my most influential life experiences and here's how I think I can uniquely contribute to this team into this effort.” And I think if people have that discussion upfront, it should enable a bit of a negotiation process there so that you don't have a bunch of like minded people who are all trying to do the same thing. And so it should help teams to move a little smoother in parallel, and it should help individuals to continue making that connection between who they are and how that effort makes a contribution to customers, clients into the world.

Scott Anthony Barlow 33:16

I took the time to go through it and when it first popped up the instructions after I created an account everything it said something to the effect of it'll be a series of open-ended and closed-ended questions and like, “Ah, how on earth are you going to integrate the open-ended questions into the profile?” And did not disappoint. So that one page scorecard, as you're calling it, actually was really interesting to see and really helpful to see too because as you said, it's got those defining roles on one side and you know, some of your strengths on the bottom left and then those contributions that you're talking about as well, which for me are achieving, initiating and adapting. But one of the challenges we have had in working with people over the years is helping them put words to what creates more meaning for them, or how they can contribute, or what makes them feel more purposeful in one way or another because it's, quite frankly, slightly different for everybody. And everybody has kind of their own unique definition and in some way without getting into the weeds on it. So I thought you did a really, really nice job in doing that. I'm also curious, miles did you start with the word miles? Or how did that come about?

Tom Rath 34:43

I think I was drawing on a whiteboard and was trying to think about, what are these? One area we have not done enough work on is, what are the real influential and searing life experiences people go through? I actually think we need to kind of push people through intense experiences to sort out what they might be good at. They haven't even tried before. So I was trying to think through, how do you bring some of these stories to the surface that are a little more narrative than kind of the roles you play in life? So that's where that came from. But what I've been learning is you have five people on a team, for example, and you all go through and do that and bring that baseball card to the table and just talking through that could be a really good kind of relationship expectation setting experience, I hope. And it's a good way to get to know people quickly in a more human way than looking at LinkedIn profile or whatever.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:30

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, nicely done. I've enjoyed it immensely. And where can people get the... and the assessment?

Tom Rath 35:39

They can get the book anywhere books are sold, and each book includes a code. The first edition hardcover has two codes, so you can go through it with someone else and do it as many times as you'd like. And you can find more on that at contribify.com/ and more about any of my books at tomrath.org

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:56

Tom, just one last question, you know, for people that are in the place where they do want to a different level of meaning they do want a different level of contribution as many of our listeners are, what advice would you give them with where to start?

Tom Rath 36:11

I would suggest that they've probably done enough looking inward already. And that life in the end is really more about what you put into it now what you get out of it. And so if they can start to examine the world around them, the people they care about, the community that surrounds them, and find some of the most pressing needs of the people that they hope to serve, that they can start there and then work back to how they could meet some of those needs. It might enable more rapid growth.

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

Surprising Career Change Advice From 6 People Who Made the Switch

on this episode

Making a huge life change such as shifting careers can seem like an intimidating task.

It’s more than just handing in your resignation and then immediately moving onto something better. Sometimes it means letting go of a job that pays well and going through a trial and error process. 

But we’ve also learned that despite the risks, the journey allows you to discover what you really want to do and what you value in a job, so you know what to go after. 

In this episode, you’ll hear from 6 people who’ve successfully made career changes. More importantly they will all answer the question: 

What advice would you give to a professional or exec who’s ready to make a career change? 

From taking the time off to prioritize your health and well-being to asking for help when needed, to removing unnecessary pressure from yourself – they share incredible insights based on their own experiences that helped them secure the role they desire.

what you’ll learn

  • Why it’s important to determine what you want before going after it.
  • How taking care of your health and wellness translates to effectiveness and efficiency.
  • Why you should not see asking for help as a weakness, but a strength.
  • Why you shouldn’t settle for a “good” job.
  • How to reach out for support when you need to make a change.

Success Stories

as I was diving into the bootcamp at Happen To Your Career, and I was really trying to think broadly, I had this moment of thinking, "Okay, should I even should I be a lawyer? What should I do?" so I worked with Happen To Your Career really started trying to dig deep and lay a foundation… it was helpful to have Lisa through the interviewing process, and all the little events like "oh, someone responded like this, how should I respond?" How should I deal with all the steps along the way? I also had a tendency to form myself into what I thought they were looking for and Lisa helped me be who I actually am in the interviews.

Rebecca Maddox, Attorney, United States/Canada

The transition was so much easier than the last and so much more gratifying because of all that I learned with HTYC

Michal Balass, Social Science Research Analyst, United States/Canada

I think one of the reasons the podcast has been so helpful to me is because you talk to people in different roles, and all of a sudden I have exposure to people in different roles. Talking about why they got there and what they like about it.

Laura Morrison, Senior Product Manager, United States/Canada

I just remember from that visioning exercise, being able to say no to something, even if it's a great opportunity or a great experience. It shows that as we moved through these journeys, whether it's life or even business that we… we have to stay true to what we're really searching for and wanting to create.

Matthew Toy, Yoga Instructor, United States/Canada

Matt Toy 00:01

You allocate time to all the things that keep the machine going, that keep, you know, gas in the tank, essentially.

Laura Morrison 00:08

Particularly as someone who has been successful, it's hard to admit to myself, it was hard for me to say I couldn't do it by myself.

Introduction 00:20

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what it does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:44

Welcome to the Happen To Your Career podcast. I'm Scott Anthony Barlow. This is the show where we share stories of how high achievers find career happiness and meaning. Our team, every single day, we get tons of questions about everything you can imagine to do with careers. What should I do differently on my applications to get the interviews that I want? How do I narrow down the list of stuff that I'm interested in to make into a career? How do I translate my skills into something that would be amazing for a job or career opportunity? And here's the thing, we absolutely love that we get all these questions. It's the reason why we do what we do. We'd love to be able to help. And at the same time, what we've learned is that most of the time when we get these questions, they're just barely scratching the surface of what you need to know, to make really big career changes, to design a career in a life that you love. And many of the things that you want if you're listening to this show right now. So we thought, okay, well, we asked many of our students, and our podcast guests, what advice would you give other people that want to make a really big career change to meaningful work? And we do that, at the end of many of our episodes, we do that when people go through our programs and our bootcamps, and they've made a huge change. And here's the thing, these are people that have been there, they've done that, they've made the journey. And we thought it would be really incredibly valuable to take the advice that each of these people have given when they're on the other side. And they know all the things that you need to do and how to do them and what they experienced and what worked and what didn't work. So in this particular episode, we've taken that advice from six different people, most of them students of ours, and we share the things that you wouldn't even think to ask about what it really takes to make a big career change.

Louise McNee 02:46

We all put the pressure on ourselves, I think in a lot of situations, there's not other people putting the pressure on us.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:51

That's Louise McNee, by the way, she made a move to a completely different industry, in this case, broadcasting that she had never worked in before and move to a role that she absolutely loves.

Louise McNee 03:02

You have to take the pressure off yourself. And you have to think about not just the role, but the people, you've got to think about everything because I remember when I did the, you know, what does your ideal day look like? I felt like I was being a bit spoiled by saying certain things. You know, I want to be able to, you know, wake up whatever time in the morning, I want to wake up and I want to be able to have a cup of tea in bed before I go to work, and really get down into those details because I find that it's not those details as such is not going to make you figure out what's going on, that you find a pattern in what you actually really need in your day to get, you know, through the day in the most positive, fulfilled way. So you know, it's like take the pressure off, really get down into the detail. And one of the things to me was kind of realizing that potentially, which is so different from where I was, one of me, I come from making career everything.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:04

Yes.

Louise McNee 04:05

I've now realized that for me, career can't be everything.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:09

Louise's experience is interesting, because it's not that different from what many of us experience. We're adding pressure to ourselves that doesn't even need to be there. It's making it harder for us to make a real change in our lives. And then on top of that, many of us feel indulgent or she called it spoiled, if we really proclaim what we actually want. Now the thing that we've learned is if you never acknowledge what you really want, and you never asked for what you want, then you never actually get to what you want. Rebecca Maddox had a really similar experience.

Rebecca Maddox 04:42

I say you owe it to yourself. Just give it some time, give it... see what you think.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:48

By the way, Rebecca, was a burned out attorney who was also tired of life and the whole game that was being played in Washington DC and she made a pretty huge change to a completely different organization, across the country that truly met her needs.

Rebecca Maddox 05:02

Go look into, like, see what your options are. Reach out to someone, talk to friend, and say, "hey can you even get paid does this sort of thing? I think it's interesting.” And maybe meet up for coffee, because a five minute conversation or even 15 minute conversation, saying, “Hi, I think what you do is amazing. I'm really curious when you do your job.” I would say it's worth it. It's no pressure. And if it works out, that's how most people find their jobs anyways. And if you're in that moment and thinking, "Geez, I'm so entrenched in where I am, like, moving to a different opportunity is kind of a joke." I would say, "Maybe you're right, there's a good chance that you're probably wrong, unless you're an extremely niche field." Because skills are transferable. And if you're in that moment, where you're realizing this is something that's really hitting me hard and hitting, like impacting those around me, right, like, it's when it goes beyond just you and starts impacting those around you, like you may be having that impact on those around you, and realize that, if there are those people in your life who say, get your job, and you stick to it. And that's the one thing that you do, that's not the world we live in. It's more a game of rather than, like, plant your roots and see how deep they go, you feel a little bit more like a game of chutes and ladders. So it's just a matter of where you shift. And ultimately, like if people are telling you, you got the dream, but it's something doesn't feel right. That's fine. Trust that. And if people are angry, they'll come around. Especially if you're like, you know this wrong, you're going to make yourself happy, it's going to make everyone else happy. And we've looked into it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:56

There's a particularly funny thing about the way meaningful careers work. What's the dream, I'm using air quotes, for one person is the next person's nightmare. And just staying in your job or role because it seems like a good job won't actually make that feeling go away. Maybe you've already had that realization, though, and you decide you're going to make a change, whether it's a new career for you, or maybe it's even starting your own thing. How do you decide where to spend your time and what's going to be valuable for your time?

Matt Toy 07:27

The more that you can double down on your health and your wellness, the better. That will go back to effectiveness and efficiency of how you run your business. And also just the decisions that you make.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:38

That's Matt Toy. And in his case, he was starting his own thing. It was a yoga studio, specifically for men. But he found that he was faced with the same thing that everybody does, when they're making a big change like this. We all only have 24 hours in a day. So how you use that time becomes even more important when you're already busy. And now you're adding even more by trying to make a career change or start something new on top of it all.

Matt Toy 08:07

So what I loved about your course was the whole master schedule. So really looking down and saying what's my schedule look like on a day to day, weekly, monthly, maybe even yearly basis and really figuring out okay, where am I losing time? Or where am I not being effective? Or where am I just sitting by myself thinking and analyzing and judging and blah, blah, blah. So that was really helpful to look at it and be like, "Okay, cool. When I am going to be taking action and growing a business, am I still going to go to the gym? Am I still going to practice yoga? Am I still going to eat well?" You know, you allocate time to all the things that keep the machine going, that keep, you know, gas in the tank, essentially, because the downfall or the pitfall that I've seen, especially for younger people, you know, 20s, 30s is that they get all hyped up, they get an idea and they go full fledged, right. Whether or not it's the right idea doesn't matter, but they go full fledge, burn themselves out, just not losing those core principles while you build a business because it's going to be challenging when you build a business, there's going to be lots of unknowns, right. And that puts you in a lot of times an emotional state that's like a little bit frantic.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:19

Something else that Matt mentioned, is one thing that we see that's difficult for nearly everyone, for some reason, most of us think that we can do this thing all by ourselves, but honestly, these types of changes really rarely happen without the support of other people in this world.

Laura Morrison 09:38

Yeah, I think you know, it took me a few months to look for outside help. And that was the thing that I needed.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:46

Okay, you might remember Laura Morrison, she was back on episode 213 of the podcast. She was working in sustainability. She had a great job, but she'd pretty much topped out on growth with the organization and she had an 18 month old baby and knew that she may needed to make a change, but she was getting pretty stuck.

Laura Morrison 10:04

I think, particularly as someone who has been successful, it's hard to admit to myself, it was hard for me to say I couldn't do it by myself. You know, I'm smart person, I should be able to figure this out. But as soon as I, you know, had my first career coaching experience, it completely turned around my approach to finding a new job. And it completely gave me the power back and the tools that I needed to do it. So I think, you know, if you know exactly what you want to do, well, you're probably not listening to this podcast. But if you don't, just know that there are a lot of tools and resources and people out there who can help you. And for me, that made all the difference.

Michal Balass 10:48

Be kind to yourself, be patient to yourself, and that things do always work out.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:55

That's Michal Balass, her journey took over a year to make her career change. But here's the thing, if she would have rushed it, though, she might not have found the role that she's in now, or even started a side business in photography along the way.

Michal Balass 11:12

Keep on having conversations, don't have conversations, because you're looking for another job, have conversations with people who are doing things that are interesting, because you're interested in it. And that's going to open a whole world to you that you don't know about because you're not having conversations. And I want to say that I'm a very introverted person, when I walk into a party, I'm not the center of it, and never was, but I can have these conversations now. And I am still connecting. And, you know, even now, where I'm very happy with my current position, and I'm not looking to do anything necessarily, in terms of leaving or anything of that nature, I'm still having conversations, I'm having conversations with other people at universities, I'm having conversations with people outside of my department learning about interesting things, because I don't know what circumstance is going to change, which is going to spark another move or another desire for a career change. And I think that's really important. The important part of having conversations is about that it enlightens you about the possibilities. And when you hear about somebody who's doing something that is so fantastically interesting to you, very inspiring, it keeps me going, it keeps me growing as a professional.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:41

Michal kept doing the really hard things. And in her case, this meant having conversations and building relationships with others, even though this was incredibly difficult for her at first. But she later learned that she actually enjoyed this. But there were many times where she had to do those things that she didn't want to do to get where she wanted to go. Now, Dave Stachowiak, has found the exact same thing.

Dave Stachowiak 13:07

I said, "You know what? I'm not sure how this all gonna work long term. Yes, I'm struggling this week, or this month with putting my time and effort into this. But I said I was gonna do this. And so I'm going to keep doing it." And I love the quote, from... I forget which NBA player it was from. One of the NBA players said, "Being a professional is about doing the things you love to do on the days you don't feel like doing it." And that to me resonates because that's been my whole career, there's been days I've shown up for everything that I don't want to do what I need to do that day, or what I've committed to do to someone that day, or to my clients or to my organization. And so while it was frustrating at times, that also was not something that was... that I hadn't navigated before. And I said, "I'm gonna keep doing this and just see what happens." And it's also helpful and this is where what your listeners here are doing, Scott, is listening to other perspectives and listening other people out there and listening to people say things like, "If you do anything that is meaningful in the world, it's going to take time, it's not going to be an overnight success. And nor should it be." In fact, today that's, you know, it's just part of the journey. And it's very much adapted and grown.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:25

Hey, I hope you have enjoyed this episode. It's chock-full of advice from people that have been there, done that, got the teaser, all the things that you probably wouldn't have thought would be so incredibly important. And if I didn't do this day after day and hadn't made any of these changes myself, I probably went to realize that either. So we've actually taken all of this advice, everything and put it on to a blog post that can be even more useful and we put a little extra into, so you can go over to happentoyourcareer.com and find all of this advice, the transcript for this episode. And even more to get you started in your journey, all the things that you didn't even know, you didn't know would be critical for your career change.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:08

Most of our episodes on Happen To Your Career often showcase stories of people that have identified and found and take the steps to get to work that they are absolutely enamored with, that matches their strengths, and is really what they want in their lives. And if that's something that you're ready to begin taking steps towards, that is awesome, you can actually get on the phone with us and our team. And we can have a conversation to find the very best way that we can help. It's super informal. And we try to understand what your goals are, where you want to go, and what specifically you need our help with. And then we figure out the very best type of help for you, whatever that looks like, and sometimes even customize that type of help. And then we make happen. Really easy way to schedule a conversation with our team is just go to scheduleaconversation.com, that scheduleaconversation.com and find a time that works best for you, we'll ask you a few questions, as well. And then we'll get you on the phone to figure out how we can get you going to work that you really want to be doing that fits your strengths, that you love, and you're enamored with. Hey, I can't wait to hear from you.

Mike Bigelow 16:29

My name is Mike Bigelow, and I'm an engineer who was living in Portland, Oregon, and was moving up to Seattle, Washington to support my wife's career change. And kind of move back home. My folks are still up here as well. As we're speaking now I am sitting in my new apartment having unpacked and most of it in a gap week between when I left my old job, when I'm starting my new job. So yeah, right here. And now it's pretty cool.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:55

Having unpacked most of it, that in itself is a success.

Mike Bigelow 16:59

No kidding man, no kidding.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:02

We got the pleasure of helping Mike make his career change. And in this episode, you're going to hear exactly what the differences are between local versus remote job searching, because we get so many questions about that. And Mike did a really fantastic job with this, not just in his most recent change, but over the life of his career. And also how to maximize your time in both situations, which is incredibly valuable, and then how career coaching can take you from being a good job candidate to a great candidate by offering the path that you want to grow along. And Mike did something really particularly well in identifying what his big value ads were from his past job experiences. And then he gives some really great examples in how you can apply them to nearly any industry. We get pretty deep into how creating a conversational environment during informational interviews and what we call the test drive method opens so many more doors than walking into the conversation, expecting a job offer or traditional job search methods. So all that and plenty more next week[18:10][a] right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until, next week[18:30][b]. Adios. I'm out.

[a]@joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

[b]@joshua@happentoyourcareer.com

_Assigned to Joshua Rivers_

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

Your Signature Strengths: The Key To Unlocking Career Happiness

on this episode

If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk a lot about finding your “ideal” role, a role that “fits,” a role where you can “flourish” and be “fulfilled.” But… what does any of that actually mean? Believe it or not, there is hard science behind these concepts and it all points to one central truth – people are happier and more fulfilled when they use their signature strengths.

What is a signature strength? The best way to identify a signature strength is by recognizing certain feelings that a person will experience while using that strength. For example, when you use a signature strength, you will likely feel a sense of ownership and authenticity, like you’re unlocking your best self. You’ll feel a sense of excitement and euphoria, and will be able to learn about the strength rapidly, especially at first. You’ll be excited to find new ways to use the strength, as if it’s a new toy that you’ve just unwrapped and don’t want to stop playing with it.

Why does this matter?

Sociologists have found that people who use their signature strengths on a daily basis are happier, more fulfilled and more satisfied than people who don’t. And the more of a person’s signature strengths that they used on a daily basis, the happier they were. If you’ve seen “The Incredibles,” think of Mr. Incredible working a desk job at an insurance company, pretending not to be a superhero, not using his signature strengths. He’s miserable, wishing he’d never been born. Now think about Mr. Incredible later in the movie, doing superhero work, using his strengths – ecstatic, euphoric, insanely happy to get up in the morning. That’s what it looks like when you’re using your signature strengths.

what you’ll learn

  • The concept of Signature Strengths and why it’s important to know yours.
  • How the relationship between signature strengths and career fulfillment works.
  • How identifying your signature strengths can help you unlock your ideal career.
what are my strengths

Success Stories

“It’s hard to find something that fits, that’s why so many people change careers. When I finally understood my strengths and how I could apply them it all made sense. It just made it easier to see what types of jobs and roles would fit me. In my new career I get to do the marketing that I love with a company I’m excited about.”

Kirby Verceles, Sales & Marketing Director

I’ve been offered the job! It was great having the opportunity to speak with you prior to my interview. It enabled me to highlight my strengths as part of the conversation and I was able to be clear about my enthusiasm for opportunities to be proactive versus reactive. I also highlighted my desire to provide positive individual experiences. Our discussion not only assisted me in the interview but it also helped to increase my confidence!

Bree Hunter, Project Officer, Australia

All the stars aligned and I ended up finding the right thing at the right place at the right time, and it was you guys! Everything that you said was speaking to me and the things that you had done in the job that you had transitioned out of and into. Also how finding work that you love is your passion for people! Honestly, it was you Scott, I mean, the way that you talked about it, how passionate you were, I was like, there's no way he's gonna put out a faulty product. So I'm gonna try it, you know… I recommend you to all my friends, you know, even if they don't realize that they're looking for a new job, I'm like this is the first step, let's do this! Even if you maybe don't move out of this career. This is going to help!

Maggie Romanovich, Director of Learning and Development, United States/Canada

My favorite part was focusing on the signature strengths. I really liked that concept and hadn't heard it before. I realize I'll never be a singer or a triathlete… Then focusing on what it is that I really want to do. I also liked that both of you were pretty transparent with your stories regarding career and finances. That is always uplifting, knowing you speak from experience.

Lily Kreitlinger, Senior Instructional Designer, United States/Canada

Louise McNee 00:02

This was the first time I went, "Oh. I don't actually like this. And I don't know if I want to be doing this anymore." I just did not know what else to do, I did not know if there was another career out there for me. I didn't know how to get out of it. So I just stayed in it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:19

Wanted to make meaningful work that pays well possible for you? Well, guess what, this is an episode of our disappearance series on career happiness. What does that mean? Well, every day, this week, we're going to be sharing actual examples of people like you that have made massive changes in their lives. Every day will be a different story and brand new glimpse into how this career change process works. Every day a new episode, but then guess what? They disappear. So you'll need to listen to them now, before they're gone.

Introduction 00:59

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:24

How do you know when you've made the right decision about your career? Because honestly, sometimes it's pretty difficult. What if you think you know what you want, only to make the change, and then it doesn't work out. I got to talk to someone that has done that, they've been there, they've done that, they've got the teaser.

Louise McNee 01:44

So I'm a Commercial Manager. I've just started working for a great company. It's actually a radio station here in Australia. So it's a completely different industry than I've worked in before.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:56

Louise is a Brit who relocated to Australia, and now she has a job she loves. But before, it was not great for years, in fact, well, I mean, she had a ton of success in her career. But the only problem was that it wasn't the success she wanted. So she changed jobs. And then did it again. Turns out it didn't work. But let's go way back for just a minute.

Louise McNee 02:19

So I started out, and it's quite a sad story, when somebody asks you, "What you want to be?" when you're little. I don't actually know why, but I said, "I wanted to be an accountant."

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:31

Really? That is... Are you the only one in the world that said that when you were little?

Louise McNee 02:38

I believe so and I don't know whether I should admit to it. I think I was about age 6 and my background, I'm the first in my family to go to university and to do professional qualifications. I don't really know where this idea came from, but I used to enjoy counting, my mom and dad used to collect copper coins, and I used to enjoy counting them, so I don't know where that came from.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:05

That's amazing.

Louise McNee 03:07

It's quite sad. I didn't want to be... any of those other exciting jobs that people want to do.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:14

The ones people that I don't know, I want to be an astronaut. I want to be a firefighter. I want to be a doctor. I want to.... whatever else. You know what, I said accounting and jest. I actually know a bunch of people that absolutely love accounting. I don't personally and I don't have the strengths that are very suitable for accounting but I think that's super cool and I love how unique that is that, you know, 8 years old, like, I want to be an accountant.

Louise McNee 03:42

I probably could have told you what one did. Yeah, that's how I started. So I kind of, I did, you know, business studies at university I went through, and I had a very linear career path. And it's probably wasn't a huge amount of thought into my path. And I mean that in terms of, I was just in that traditional, you get a job, you work hard, you get a promotion, you do a slightly different job and that's kind of what I've done. So I started off studying Chartered Management Accountant and I just moved through roles, you know, with job descriptions of management accountant, financial accountant and yeah I just did that. Every move was a promotion and a chance to gain new skills. But over the last 15 years or so, I've pretty much been in the same career, just moving from, I don't do any day to day transactions stuff now, so I've moved from having to actually make sure that P&L is okay or looking at balance sheets. I hate that. That's not where my motivation lies, so thankfully that's all moved away, that's been learned, done, help me to be where I am today and now it's moving towards the strategic and the real business conversations.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:08

When did you realize, I'm curious. Like where along the way did you have some of those realizations that, you know, going from, hey, I'm 8 years old and want to be an accountant, moving into it and starting to realize that, I actually don't really like the balance sheet stuff. Do you remember any specific moments where you had that realization?

Louise McNee 05:27

No... I just think looking back at those... I just knew that there was part of my job that really frustrated me. And there is probably no specific moment and it's probably maybe only over the last three to four years that I've really thought about, "why do I get frustrated" or "what's not motivating me." And then it's kind of, I just don't like that day to day. Because the situation may change, the industry may change, but what you're actually doing doesn't change. So for me, I just got really bored.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:05

So after you recognized that you were getting bored then, what happened from there? Because you says, you sounded like, you know, that was three or four years ago at this point, and what ended up happening from there in your career as you acknowledged, hey look, this kinda sucks and I don't want to do this forever, it might be somebody's gig but it's probably not where I want to spend the vast majority of my time. What happened at that point?

Louise McNee 06:35

The first time I started thinking about this it probably, or definitely wasn't the way I think about it now. So it was like, okay, this isn't for me. It's not happening to me. Let's just go and do it somewhere else. Oh it's going to be completely different in a new business. So I had an opportunity to work for a company which the role never existed before. So it was a startup element of a huge corporate global company and they never needed somebody locally to look at the stuff that I look at. So I kind of thought that that would be a nice avenue to move away, try something different and see if I could you know crack that wall myself and make it do what I want to do. And I was promised that it would be a mix of the transactional and strategic. So I was like, this is great. You know it's the perfect opportunity for me to get that experience and really opt what I can say to people that this is what I do and really proves that I do more than the typical accountant. It didn't actually work out that way.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:51

I was gonna ask you how that happened in reality. It sounds like there's another shoe dropping here someplace.

Louise McNee 07:58

Yeah. I think, you know, and this is a huge line for me, as well, and it has really made me since when I've had interviews with other company. It really made me go to that for jobs, you interview the company as well, they don't just interview you. And the lesson for me that really helped, in fact that I really needed to draw down into bit more detail, because while the intention was there, they just went up the stage, right to have that person who was ready to do what I wanted to do and which had kind of done throughout my career, you know, it's always been a part of my role to do the challenging, the asking the questions, the looking at things a slightly different way. The day to day dragged me down more than I thought it would and more than they thought it would as well. And that, it also wasn't a very good environment. And it's the first time I think I've been in an environment I've really struggled with. A lot of people have been working together for a long time. I've been in similar industries for a long time. And so their thought patterns with, kind of automatically convened. And so you know, I come in, I've worked for multiple different industries, I've changed jobs quite regularly. And so I come in with a whole new different set of thoughts and ideas and ways of seeing things and I don't think they were quite ready for some of my questions.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:34

So you'd infiltrated the club and you've got all of these new different experience. And everything else that goes along with it. And at that point in time, it sounds like they were less than what you'd hoped for receptive. Is that fair to say?

Louise McNee 09:51

That's fair to say, yes. So that was the first time that I let... career is very important to me. It's probably... and I realized this after working with Lisa over the last year or so, I put so much weight on my career, it kind of defined me in a way. And I think some of that might be because of my upbringing. In fact I'm the only one to have done this thing so... and nobody else is going to feel this way but I've put it on me that I had to be great at this, I had to know what I was doing. Now I have to constantly, you know, progress. And that I would just be this one that had it all sorted. This was the first time I went, "oh. I don't actually like this. And I don't know if I want to be doing this anymore."

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:43

That is so interesting. If I might ask you about that for just a second because I think it's fascinating that when we, and I very much, I've done this a lot of different times of my life too where, I will define who I am in some ways by what it is that I'm doing at that particular time. Often it is also with my career. And it's interesting how that can cause you to, in some cases, like stay in a place longer than you probably should have. I'm curious, was that what happened there as well? Because it sounds like at some point you recognize that. But, how did you think about that once you started to realize that, hey this is... this definition of myself is causing some less desirable pieces?

Louise McNee 11:34

Yeah there's probably two things to it. One is, you know, you just tell yourself suck it up.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:42

Yeah, absolutely.

Louise McNee 11:43

You're in a really good position compared to other people, you know, your salary is great, you're working for big name companies, you've had a progression. When you go and speak to people, it's taken me a long time to kind of be able to... be proud of my achievements and be able to sell them to people rather than complain in them. And so it kind of, "oh, just what are you complaining about?" This is just, you've got it all. Don't just get over it, it just must be a phase. Go in three. And then the other side of that is, I just really did not know what the option was or what I wanted. So that was one of the hardest things. And so even from this role I moved again to another company and did almost exactly the same role. I still went through that. It must be the company. It's the company that's making me feel this way. Not the actual role. I just did not know what else to do, I did not know if there was another career out there for me. I did not know... I didn't know how to get out of it. So I just stayed in it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:57

What was that like? Because that's, you know, still semi recent for you. What was that like being in that particular place where you didn't know but realized that something's wrong?

Louise McNee 13:13

Yeah, really hard because I happened to get in the role afterwards. So this was two roles in a row that I was having these feelings and I was so trapped. And it really impacted, you know I'm normally a happy bubbly person. My friends say that I'm always up for a laugh, I'm the one that can have, you know, will try and look on the positive side. I went a complete opposite. I was a nightmare. I wasn't married at the time but my poor husband, I've never cried so much because I just felt completely trapped in not knowing what to do. And as well as, I know my pride myself on being the tough one. For me to just... I just... and I couldn't even tell him what point why I was crying. Because when you're trying to articulate to people why you're feeling, how you are feeling and if they're trying to give examples, I find a lot... they sound really minor when you're trying to give examples because it's hard to explain to people why you feeling the way you are. It's just, when you add it all together in a big bootcamp, it's obviously making you feel so bad. But I found it really hard to not only understand myself but also try to explain to other people. So I felt like I was in a cycle of, I didn't have anybody or I felt like I wasn't explaining to people well enough so they could help me. If that makes sense.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:55

Well, it's hard to understand. I mean, let's be honest, even when you're in it and you're experiencing it, it's hard to understand for yourself to really truly get what's going on, let alone be able to help other people understand as well, because in some ways too especially if you have done well and you have been continuously moving up the ranks, you've done a lot of things that most people would look at from the outside and say, "Wow. She got an amazing life and career" and everything else along those lines. And it is difficult to be able to articulate that in a way that really helps people understand what's going on from the inside looking out.

Louise McNee 15:46

Yeah. Especially because people, everybody gets days right, they hate their jobs, or things are not going well, or they might be lower than they normally are. It's just hard to kind of tell people that that's how you feel almost every minute of every day. And I felt like my energy is just taken all of my energy just to get through the day. Never mind thinking about what I wanted to be doing and how to get out of it. That was way past of me. It was such hard work to get up in the morning, get in the car, drive to work, do a full day at work, get home and feel like I had managed to get through the day.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:25

We see this really interesting phenomenon as we've worked with people over the years and we see that for that exact reason, it really starts to compound and actually it turns an already complex and frustrating problem into an even much larger and more complex one too, because not only are you doing exactly what you described, like you're in a role where it's totally zapping your energy. And at the same time, it's difficult to be able to explain it to other people, understand what is going on, but then even trying to think about what to do about it after you've already spent day after day after day where your energy is zapped and it's taking all of those pieces of you then it turns into this bit of a cycle where... and we call this "The Stuck Cycle" again and again. But I'm curious, what happened where you decided, look I've got to do something differently and how did you begin to get out of this?

Louise McNee 17:24

Yeah. I think I've always been a pretty, my personality, I've always been really big into self development, doing other things, challenging myself, so I do naturally have that mindset of, I don't like to sit and complain about stuff and not do something about it. That's just me. I think one of the and it's quite this being completely open and it's quite comfortable for me to be open. I was out for dinner with my husband let say, we weren't married then but we were planning a wedding. I was crying in the restaurant. And he's like, "This is not what life is. This is not, you know, we were trying to plan the wedding. Got so many exciting things to be looking forward to. Why you're crying in a public restaurant? Embarrassing me" and, you know, my poor husband didn't know what to do.

Scott Anthony Barlow 18:23

It sounds like, that is the ultimate test, by the way. Clearly you've got a good guy.

Louise McNee 18:32

Yeah. He's been very good. And I think it's very hard for him as far. Because when we met, and I have always portrayed that I've got things sorted. Career is really important and he saw a change from the person he met to somebody who was really the strong, knew where she was going, had everything in her sights, enjoyed life to this person's, "why are you crying again?"

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:02

Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

Louise McNee 19:03

He still married me. So thankfully, he's definitely a good one.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:09

That's funny. There's a test, might be hard to duplicate that exact test but if you find yourself in that place and they react this way, you know, you've got a good one.

Louise McNee 19:22

And then, talking him, you know, he really tried to understand. He does a similar role to me now and he came through in a different way. He did the audit background. I've never done audit. So I think, in one way, it was harder for him to understand because he just thought, while he was having the same experience as me, but it wasn't impacting him in the way that it was impacting me. And I just got to that point, and I thought, this is not me. This is... I've been crying on friends, I've been crying on Mark, down the line. But I can remember Lisa and I had to walk in a few sessions booked in. And I just derailed it completely because the minute she said, "hello" I burst out crying.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:10

So to give a little bit of context. At some point along the way as you recognize that you wanted to make changes, we got the pleasure of working with you. And Lisa, who's one of the coaches on our team, and you hear Lisa's story actually back in Episode 147. You got to work with Lisa and through our Career Change Bootcamp program, right?

Louise McNee 20:33

Yes, I did. And it took me a while to get to the point of asking for help.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:43

What did you perceive as the hardest part to get to that point of asking for help? Like you're talking about.

Louise McNee 20:50

So I think for me, it's just... I thought I had to figure it all out myself, you know, it's that kind of, thought verbatim, saying to somebody, I don't actually know and being open and so for me, I listened to the podcast on my way to and from work. I listen, you know, and re-thinking, yeah this sounds really great. This is something I definitely need. But actually you know, writing the email or making that step to actually say, I need this, was somehow really hard for me. So I remember having a, as I said, I've also got that fundamental part of me that doesn't just like to let things carry on. Once I know something needs to be changed, I will kind of know I need to change it. And there was one of my younger brother, he's just a few years younger than me, but he said something to me once, which I always resonated with me. He said, "things might not work out the way you want them to work out but you've never not done what you wanted to do. You've always found a way. You've just got to be remember that it might be a different way to what you wanted it to be." And that ,you know, I don't know if my brother knows how much that resonated with me and stick with me. And so for me, that was... that right. Okay, I know I need to change. I know I need help. I can't do this on my own, you know what, I have to let my, pride maybe it's not the right word, but I have to let that go a little bit and say to somebody, "I need help." So I actually took, I think I had a few conversations where I got in touch and discussed working on career change bootcamp and then I got a little bit of a cold feet and I backed off. And I went on holiday and then just the thought of actually going back to work after that holiday, so I can't do it. I've been away for two weeks, now I'm really need to be serious about this now and do something about it. And that's when I finally thought right, I'm committed, I'm going to get some help and that's when I signed up for a career change bootcamp.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:08

That is so interesting. And I think that that is so real world and I appreciate you sharing that because a lot of times that's how it happens for most of us. It happens in stages. It's not like this epiphany at the top of a mountain, I don't know, after whatever and all of a sudden like we know what we're going to do and we know how we're going to get help and we know how we're going to make it all happen and everything else along those lines that really happens in those smaller realizations and then that event leads to another event and another event and then all of a sudden we're at the point where it's like, okay, I've got to do something. But it's all of the other pieces that got you to that point as well. I so appreciate you sharing that. What do you feel like, as you went through and as you started after you made that commitment of, hey I have to do something and I've got to double down on this, what was that like for you? As you made the commitment to making the change and putting even more time and effort into that. What happened from there?

Louise McNee 24:16

Yes. So I think for me and kind of makes sense that after Strengthsfinder, write down my strengths. Once I've actually made the commitment and the ball was rolling, I felt like a weight to be lifted off purely because I was doing something. So rather than sitting in my head, you know, praying going over time, constantly thinking but not know which way to go. Even just a simple act to say, "not okay. this... I have a path. There is a structure to this and I have somebody there to help me through this. It really made me feel like there was a way out of this." So even just the beginning was like, okay, I can do this. It kind of, I was still feeling a bit nervous about opening up then, you know, sometimes you feel like you have to have all the answers. I mean you have to have the right answer. And I didn't. And I still don't have all of the answers.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:13

I wish I had all the answers, that would be fantastic.

Louise McNee 25:17

It's kind of, you know, I had to open, you know, get used to open myself up to that. You know being asked a question and not knowing how to answer and having that awkward, "I actually don't know this is going to taking me a long time to think about it." Knowing that there was a structure in the path, there was actually activities to take and also knowing that I really felt like I had someone in my corner. You know it was somebody completely understood what I was going through. So when you're talking to somebody like Lisa and the rest of your team, you don't have to go through the preamble of "why you're feeling the way you're feeling" they just get it, you know, you've worked with so many different people, you've had the same thought yourself. So it kind of cuts out a lot of the initial, you know, introduction of why are you doing this. And you can start off on the whys and you know the reasons why, or all the actual real details that are making you feel the way you feel to get you... become and get into it straight away which I think was great because once I thought I was actually doing something, you know, one is... like execution is one of my actually moving forward and getting things done and focus and finishing the task at the end of the day. That's what I figured out, what makes it work and it doesn't matter what task it is. It could be anything.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:46

You're gonna make it happen.

Louise McNee 26:47

Yes. I feel like I've been productive in the day and then that's me going to bed feeling like I've had a good day. And so the program helped me to know, okay, there's stuff to do, you know, there's a... you know, the StrengthsFinder test, the exercises, planning your day, what your ideal day would be, you know, what part of your job do you like, what parts you don't like. And then even taken it further than that. And, you know, outside of your career as well. What do you enjoy doing? I went through a couple of different notebooks. I just wrote everything down. And it took me a while to get used to it but looking back now, I liked the fact that Lisa would ask me a question and I wouldn't be able to answer it and I'd have to go away and really think about it rather than...

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:45

What's an example of that? I'm super curious. Do you remember any examples of that? What's one time where that happened where Lisa had asked you a question and you had, you're like, "I don't know, let me think about that."?

Louise McNee 27:58

Just the... first one is, "what would you do if you weren't doing what you were doing now?" Complete blank for me, complete and utter blank. And that meant I really had to go down into the detail of what it is. I didn't dislike the entire of my role in what I was doing day to day. I had to get down into, it wasn't specifically task related, the task related part is the easy part. I think you can always say, quite easily, I don't like doing that particular task in a day whether it be standard reporting or admin type work or whatever it may be. It more the interactions with people and what is fundamentally are not working and to be honest, one of the things I only just clicked with me recently and Lisa probably told me at the time that, you know, when your brains working overtime it's taken a while to click in, because I'm so... my strengths are so, you know, I'm in the learner side. I feel like I have to learn constantly. Doing the same role but for different companies wasn't enough for me because even though I was learning about different industries there was no real different thought process.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:30

That's so interesting.

Louise McNee 29:32

It's the same discussions.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:35

So for you, then was it that, it was not the right continuous scope or not the right level of challenge in terms of learning or not the right... What was it about that type of learning as opposed to the type of learning that is really good for you?

Louise McNee 29:58

Because it was... there was... I felt like there was no real development in the learning. So it was... I was learning about a different situation that when you are doing the role that I do, your brain works in a certain way and my brain was always working in that way. It was, find the problem, find the root cause, see who it's impacting, see which people you need to talk to to get it changed, what are your options. And so while the situations may have been very different it was the same process of going through. So you might get a few curve balls from a technical point of view or something different but it doesn't change the thought process for you. Did I explain that very well?

Scott Anthony Barlow 30:53

Yeah, that makes a ton of sense. And I think that I wanted you to dive into that, one, because I'm always curious about other people's perspectives but I think that's something that's a bit of a commonality with many of the people that listen to Happen To Your Career. A lot of us are very very interested in learning and need that measure of learning in different ways and actually in different ways and a lot of cases compared to the average person. So I appreciate you taking the time to detail that out. So here's a different question though and I'm super curious, you know, you ended up working with Lisa and had a lot of these realizations along the way. What caused you or what do you feel like allowed you to make the most headway on this? Aside from some of the realizations that you had, because now you're in this new role and it didn't happen by magic. It was a bunch of hard work, even before we hit the record button, you said, when you are in the moment it really just feels like a lot of hard work in some ways, right?

Louise McNee 32:07

Yes. I think the real realization and this was where Lisa was worth her weight in gold. It was the realization that I don't have to go from a bad situation to the perfect situation straight away. I just wasn't in that place, you know, going back to my mental and emotional state trying to do. So, I did go and I spoke to 10 or 20 people in the areas I thought I wanted to do in their companies, I wanted to work with. I was doing all of that. And that is actually, I'll probably come back to that later, that was really really beneficial to me but it wasn't getting me into a good place. And so a conversation with Lisa was like, "how do we get you into a place where you can then start thinking about that? Because going from that to that is not working." My brain could not cope with the thought process. I needed to get out of my mental state where I was at the moment, I needed to get out of a company and a role that wasn't making me fall short or was perpetuating this negative vibe. And so that was where the planning of, okay, so what's really important to you, really came into play. So for me, there was a couple of key buckets. So when you look at the culture of the company, location of the company, whether there is a different type of industry, whether you know flexibility plays a part. And also for me, I have such a huge social conscience. So I do quite a fair bit of mentoring through charities for either younger females who might find it tough and also I got one charity that works here in Australia. It's the opposite. It's the overachievers. And these are just new for everybody..

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:27

Amazing. What's the name of that one? I'm so curious now.

Louise McNee 34:29

It's called Aim for the Stars and they give grants or sponsorships to females who are doing really amazing things in the field and it could be any field. It could be musicians, scientists. They did have one lady will be the first commercial female pilot in Australia. There was a particular thing that she wanted to hit the sport. Because these people are so good at what they do, I think they realize that they still need help. They still need someone to talk through with, things with and you know they have those, they maybe have doubts more than other people because they are aware of what they need to do. So I... that for me, that social conscience and in a company where is a big through. The work with Lisa really help me narrow down and so we kind of, we decided that the best route for me, at the time, was to get myself into a really good company that ticked off those items and then we can potentially think about longer term, see how I feel about the role in a new company that does tick off those items. It can have everything flow through. I went to speak to lots of different people and I spoke to people in charities and foundations and worked up really quickly that wasn't the avenue for me because they have a lot of transactional day to day, frustrations that would just leave me from having that scenario of somewhere to somewhere else. Plus the pay and salary isn't exactly where I needed it to be. I had conversations with people who, we were started talking about where I might want to go and there's one lady who asked me to create a page deck and she really worked with me, and Lisa worked on with me as well to kind of create this five or six page deck that would explain who I am, what I want, very succinctly. But also in the most effective strong way. All these things really help get towards, you know, I was applying for jobs and I was going into some interviews and it all helped me sell myself better in the interview but also help me to recognize, "I don't think I want to work here." I'm going to be moving again to a company where it may not be the right fit for me. And so at the end of last year, I've been in my current role for three months now. At the end of last year this opportunity came up and it kind of excited me from a complete perspective, ends up being a radio station. It's got that different vibe and so. I've got myself into a situation now where I probably ticked off five of my main things and boxes of what I need; company, location, the culture, needs to be for me. So the culture at the radio station is amazing and everybody's really friendly. This sounds so small but I was in the kitchen making myself a cup of tea and people were coming up introducing themselves to me saying, "Welcome. We haven't seen you before." Whereas in past companies, I've been in a situation where people are just walking past each other without smiling.

Scott Anthony Barlow 38:11

Straight on by. That is... So here's what I think people might gloss over as they're listening to this or might not realize is that to be able to get to that level of specificity in terms of what you are looking for in a role to be able to recognize that in advance, "hey this organization and this opportunity really does tick off a huge amount of these boxes especially some of the most important ones to me." It is no small effort to get there and I think it's, I wanted to call that out. Just one, to say kudos to you because it is the hard work that most people on the face of the planet will not do because it is difficult. And it is challenging and it is thought work and it is hard to do alone too, let alone even with somebody, working with somebody like Lisa makes it possible. But it's still a challenge right. So I don't want to let that to be lost on people. But at the same time, you know really really nice work recognizing that and I love what you pointed out earlier that, you know what, it's about each individual step and it can't be about going from going from the place where you're at to the absolute perfect thing. One because there is no absolute perfect thing out there. Perfection is the enemy of a lot of different things. And in fact, we just, on a recent episode with Caroline, another coach on our team, episode 226, we dug into that bit on perfectionism. But here's what I'm curious about, you know after going through all of that, what advice would you offer, people that are in that same place that you've been where maybe they've changed roles a couple of times and and found themselves close to back in the same place or maybe they're realizing for the first time that I really do want something more and it is ok for me to want something different than where I'm at. What advice would you give those people?

Louise McNee 40:21

I would say, you have to take the pressure off yourself. And it's easier said than done sometimes. We all put the pressure on ourselves. I think in a lot of situations is not the people putting the pressure on us, it's us putting the pressure on ourselves. Take the pressure off but really think about, I found... because you have to think about not just the wrong but the people, you've got to think about everything because I remember when I did, you know, what is your ideal day look like. I felt like I was being a bit spoiled by saying certain things. Now, I want to be able to wake up what's the time I wanna wake up. And I want to be able to have a cup of tea in bed before I go to work and really get down into those details because it's not those... for me, I found that, it's not those details of search that will make me you, you know, have a cup of tea before you go to work. It is not going to make you figure out what's going on. You find a pattern, in what you actually will need in your day to get, you know, through the day in the most positive, fulfilled way. For me, I needed to know what kind of people I wanted to be around. And so, yeah, take the pressure off, really get down to the detail. And one of the things for me was kind of realizing that, potentially, which is so different from where I was, one of me, I can find making career, everything. I've now realized that for me, career can't be everything.

Scott Anthony Barlow 42:21

Interesting. I would love to wrap up on that. Why is that? What is it? What does it need to be in your particular life?

Louise McNee 42:36

Career for me, my role is, it's the fundamentals of the way it's what's going to pay me to make me be able to move. It's going to have a bit of structure in my day. Someone will give me a bit stracture of my day. It will get me around people. I do need to be around people. I need to have these conversations. I'm not one who could, I love working from home every now and again on my own. But I really need that connection. But it's, for me, knowing especially because I'm in the same role that I've been doing over the past couple of years, it gives me that comfort of, I know what I'm doing. I guess, I'm going to get new challenges. It's probably more challenges of how to influence people or how to make people go a certain way or think about things differently. And it gives me stability to then experience and explore other parts of my life that are really important to me. As I said, you worked on that social conscience. I'm going to pick up another mentee, if I've got the time, if I've got a role that, you know, at the moment, thankfully I can do, you know, not quite but I can do 9 to 5. So that gives me so much time then to spend trying to help other people. At one point, I thought would be good to go down as a career that I don't think it's the right career for me. But I can still get it in my life now because I've got the time and I've got the energy. From the learning perspective, I've always had it on my list, I used to be so fluent in French but haven't spoke French for about 15 years. We are going on holiday to France in September. So I now have a goal. I want to be fluent by September. So I know have the time to speak and know directions.

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:38

That is... valuable.

Louise McNee 44:40

I feel like I've got myself into a situation where I'm in a healthy state and I've realized that I can get fulfillment through other areas and not just through work. I've got the time to spend with my husband and with my friends who are in Austalia. My family is in the UK, so I have to make a lot of effort to keep in touch with family and friends. But I'm in a position now where I can do that and I can feel good about what I'm doing and I'm getting what I need, mentally, you know, I'm learning, I've got the comfort of working in a role I feel comfortable doing. It's a new company, so I'm still in that stage of everything is sort and kind of settling in. I actually feel like there is three or four different streams of my life now that I can work in and my company is setting up a foundation, social foundation. So you never know where that might go. I can hopefully spend a lot of time towards that as well that links my desire to do good in the world, in the workplace.

Scott Anthony Barlow 45:53

I absolutely love that. And I so appreciate you pointing that out, too. And that mindset change is huge in terms of looking that, not just your career as being the thing, but having it enable all the parts of your life, and having those work together. So I just want to say congratulations, first of all, because I've only gotten to congratulate you by email so far. And this is amazing to be able to have the opportunity to talk to you about this. And I so appreciate you taking the time to share with everybody else. And I know that so many people are going to benefit from this. Nice work, by the way.

Louise McNee 46:36

Thank you. Yeah, as I said, it's anyone you step back and realize how much work you've done that you can then go "huh. I've done this, this is good."

Scott Anthony Barlow 46:52

If this is not your first episode of the Happen To Your Career podcast, you've probably heard somebody on here that their first step to work that they absolutely love, that fits their strengths, and they're excited about, was going through our free eight day mini course to figure out what fits you. And we've had now well over 30,000 people have that as their beginning step to identifying what they want in their lives. And you can do the exact same thing. And if you're interested in that, it has some really amazing questions to get you started in becoming clear on what you want and what you need in your career. And it's a great way to kick it off and determine what is most important for you, moving forward. You can learn what you're great at. So you can stop wasting time in your job, and start working in your career, even identify some of the internal blockages that are keeping you from fulfilling work, and wealth and career success. And begin narrowing down what you should be doing for work that's fulfilling to you. All you have to do is go to figureitout.co that's figureitout.co and get started today, enter your email and voila will send you the very first lesson. Head on over there, figureitout.co or you can text HAPPEN to 44222 that's HAPPEN to 44222.

Scott Anthony Barlow 48:27

Our team, every single day, we get tons of questions about everything you can imagine to do with careers. What should I do differently on my applications to get the interviews that I want? How do I narrow down the list of stuff that I'm interested in to make into a career? How do I translate my skills into something that would be amazing for a job or career opportunity? And here's the thing, we absolutely love that we get all these questions. It's the reason why we do what we do, we'd love to be able to help. And at the same time, what we've learned is that most of the time when we get these questions, they're just barely scratching the surface of what you need to know, to make really big career changes to design a career in a life that you love. And many of the things that you want if you're listening to this show right now, so we thought, okay, well, we asked many of our students in our podcast guests, what advice would you give other people that want to make a really big career change to meaningful work? And we do that at the end of many of our episodes, we do that when people go through our programs and our bootcamps, and they've made a huge change. And here's the thing, these are people that have been there, they've done that, they've made the journey. And we thought it would be really incredibly valuable to take the advice that each of these people have given when they're on the other side and they know all the things that you need to do and how to do them and what they experienced and what worked and what didn't work. So in this particular episode, we've taken that advice from six different people, most of them students of ours, and we share the things that you wouldn't even think to ask about what it really takes to make a big career change. All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

Work You Love: From Hobby To Ideal Career

on this episode

If you’ve listened to the podcast for a while, you’ve probably heard me say more than once, that knowing what you want is the key to making a successful career change. But, for most of us, figuring out what we want can be difficult. We spend so much of our professional lives doing what we NEED to do, that we often lose sight of what we WANT to do. Or, just as often, we know what we want to do, but we don’t think we can do it for a living, so we don’t even bother to ask. We assume that if we enjoy something too much, it must not be possible to do it for a living. Not true!

This week on the podcast, I chat with Chris Bene, a true HTYC success story. Chris loves cars and loves helping people. So, combining these two interests, he loves to help people decide what car to buy. Compact, midsize or SUV? Front wheel drive or all wheel drive? Internal combustion, hybrid or electric? Chris loves to talk about this stuff. And when he participated in the HTYC Career Change Boot Camp, and really drilled down on what he wanted to do, the answer was clear. He wanted a job helping people find their ideal car. But he couldn’t do that for a living… or could he??

What you’ll learn

  • How you can identify what you truly want from your career.
  • Why it’s important to focus on what you want, in order to land your ideal role.
  • How you can turn a hobby into a career that you love.

Success Stories

The role is meeting my expectations… totally owning the marketing function. And luckily the founder/president is always forward-looking – he just presented us a huge strategy doc for the next year. So there will be an opportunity for us to grow beyond our initial audience, which is great. I applied (against conventional wisdom!) and went through a lengthy interview process. I did use the resume/cover letter chapter quite a bit to customize what I used to respond to the ad. I also found that using the Interview chapter was super helpful in formulating “SBO” oriented responses, and I even used some of them in the interview. Having those “case study” type responses was really helpful and I believe cemented my candidacy. BTW – they hired me completely over Skype and phone! I never met anyone from my company (in person) until last week at a conference.

Erica Fourrette, Marketing Director

The way you guys have it laid out it just, it makes it easier to move through the process, because the steps are laid out such a way that it's clear. It's that extra support to help you move through the process that helps you move through the program.

Kristy Wenz, Chief Communications Officer, United States/Canada

I've completed Figure Out What Fits, and wanted to express my appreciation for you for putting the course together and sharing so many valuable thoughts and concepts through it. I feel that I have gotten value from the money invested, and am so glad that I happened upon HTYC!

Anne-Marie Raymond, Functional Health Coach, Australia

Chris Bene 00:03
When senior leadership internally has a different avenue to go than the salespeople, who are business development, people that are actually trying to make things happen. That's not a good scenario.

Introduction 00:20
This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what it does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Chris Bene 00:44
Basically I've been doing this for free Scott, since I've been in high school.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:49
That's Chris Bene. He lives in Vancouver, Washington, which if you don't know is across the river from Portland, Oregon. For a long time, he was involved in business development in the corporate travel industry. However, he had this hobby he called car consulting.

Chris Bene 01:05
And it just started off that, people would say, well I'm thinking about this type of car and I would start to talk to them and do that. But I really always hesitated from going into the car industry because I'm just going to say it outright and very track sleazy industry that people they've been through the strategy of spending five to eight hours in a dealership just fishing drag through the mud on buying a car it shouldn't be that hard and it's actually a strategy of theirs that they're trying to use to wear you down to where is your conscience buy this car from them.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:10
Now I want you to fast forward here for 10 months after Chris had been working on his career change, here he is again.

Chris Bene 01:50
What I'm going to be doing is I’m going to be a consultant for AAA Oregon, and they have this services they call “AutoSource” and it's a car buying service. and what's great about it Scott is that they’re able to talk to me and I’m not a dealer. They'll be able to talk to me as a consultant just to talk him through the types of cars that they're looking for or possibly, like I said, selling and just to give them some great insight information on that. This is something I would, it would not be a job. And this is what you talked about Scott, it's really not a job that I'm going to, it's just something that I've liked to help people with. And I feel I'm pretty effective with that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:32
Okay, let's break down. What led up to this change and how this hobby that he now gets to do for a career actually happened? Here's Chris, with where he started out in his career.

Chris Bene 02:44
And it just started off that, you know people would say, well I'm thinking about this type of car and I would start to talk to them and do that. But I really always hesitated from going into the car industry because I'm just going to say it outright and very track sleazy industry that people they've been through the strategy of spending five to eight hours in a dealership just fishing drag through the mud on buying a car it shouldn't be that hard and it's actually a strategy of theirs that they're trying to use to wear you down to where is your conscience buy this car from them. And I think this is such an option through this AAA service that you don't have to do that, even if you want to test drive the car, I can bring the cars to our building and you can come there, you don't have a dealer or a salesperson right in your back while you're checking out these vehicles. So it gives a great option for people that are just... a lot of them, very adverse to going to an automobile dealership to purchase a car.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:48
You know what I think it's so cool here though is that, as you're talking about that like anybody who's listening to this right now can hear that is something that you're excited about and that is an industry and an area where it badly needs people that are really legitimately excited about that, versus as you said there and using different type of tactics to drag people through the mud and that's no good and I don't think anybody really wants that at the end of the day and that's very much an industry that needs more people that are aligned with what they want and need in excited about it in ways that other people aren't. So congratulations first of all, that's awesome.

Chris Bene 04:24
Thank you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:25
So here's my question, though, obviously, haven't always been in this role or are just going to start here pretty quickly. And prior to that, when you first came to us, we first got to have a conversation and encounter you and get to know you a little bit then you're in a totally different situation. So I'm curious what led up to you wanting to make a change in the first place? What happened throughout your career that led you to here?

Chris Bene 04:51
Well, my career is pretty much a lot of aspects of business travel and people don't know what that is, but you know there's leisure travel of course when you're going on cruises and doing a lot of adventure travel, things like that. But what I did was work with corporations, and typically senior management in corporations and putting together programs for their travelers, for their sales folks, for their engineers, for their technology people that would be traveling and then… So there's programs out there, Scott, that the corporations need, like, here locally, of course, the ones that come to mind are the large ones like Nike, Adidas, Freightliner all those huge companies have a lot of people traveling. And they want to save money on that right? They don't want to spend top dollar on everything from an airline ticket to a hotel, to a rental car. And so there's a lot of programs that we can put together for them even driven now more by safety, more than price to make sure that we know where Scott Barlow is today at this time.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:00
Oh, interesting.

Chris Bene 06:00
You know, on a trip. Yeah. Are you in Boston? Are you in New York? And where are you at specifically? So it's not big brother tracking you but it's really the safety of you if there would be something that would happen in Boston, that we'd need to track you down pretty quickly, and we would have that information out today. So I was on the business development side for that for many years. I've sold software to that program so I'm very familiar with B2B software. Typically, the old days, it was called SAS software-as-a-service. And so I have a lot of… I'm very comfortable, and putting together a value package for an item. And on my hobby side, it was automobiles. And on my professional side, it was software and professional services for business travel.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:50
So you did those for quite a number of years. What was the impetus for no longer wanting to be in that area?

Chris Bene 06:57
It's called “change of leadership”. And I know many of our listeners today have gone through, or can see change of leadership, and that's what my impetus was for signing up for the career change bootcamp, because I saw the new leadership coming through and they were on a different plane than I was, and I'm not talking about an airplane, I’m talking about a plane of thought. And I was a senior director of business development for the company. And so when senior leadership internally has a different avenue to go than the salespeople, who are business development development people that are actually trying to make things happen. That's not a good scenario. So, I saw this coming, took your 9 week class, very informative and really helped me to work together a plan on what was going to happen and actually did happen at the end of January, I was let go from the company and then so I was already on a head start just because of your class, Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:59
Interesting. I don't think I quite realize the timing of that as all of that was happening. So what prompted you, as you recognize, okay, there is a different set of leadership, different set of values. Obviously, there's no longer alignment, you have that realization and the foresight to recognize that that meant, you better do something about it, which is awesome. A lot of us have a tendency to, including myself, delay on that. I have been in the situation where that has occurred and I'm like "Nah, maybe, maybe it'll be okay" and I stay too long in some ways, but you recognize this, you saw it coming and you decided that you wanted to do something about it. So why did you feel at that point in time that you needed a plan? What was lacking or what did you feel like you needed in order to really make this change effective for you in ways that you wanted?

Chris Bene 08:51
Scott, great question. And when I think back to it, it's that I really did want to do something different because I had been in this industry for a while. And yes, to tell you I have a very strong network. But most of the network was in the industry, was in the business travel industry. And especially talking with Lisa Lewis, my career coach, I was able to get some thoughts going along some other lines of business that was turned out to be, one of these, is car consulting, the automobile consulting, really had me starting to think about that. And so my network that I had built up, I mean, I'll be honest with you Scott, I've told four people know, that are in the business travel industry during this journey. Because it just, as you know, with so many people talking in so many different industries, it just doesn't… it's not right anymore. I sent my daughters to private school the whole way through there, they both graduated. So that was kind of done and we just had reached some many milestones and my wife gave me a green light that I could get out of business travel and that was a big one.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:02
That is an important one, the part of green light.

Chris Bene 10:06
I thought about it. That's once you get the green light, then I'm going, “Okay, we're going to move here.” And so, the rest of the story is kind of along the lines of during career change bootcamp, one of the weeks was focusing on hobbies and interest that you could possibly turn into a business. And so when I was talking to Lisa about that, she goes "Right. You sound very knowledgeable about that" I said, “Well, I've been doing it awhile, and I've been having a lot of fun at it.” and she said, "Well what’s really key? I mean we talked about a lot of things but really high integrity." Like I said, I didn't want to be, quote, a used car salesman. I didn't want to do that. And so when I started looking this AAA showed up and they even advertised a 99.3 completely satisfied with their client’s figure. 99.3!?

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:00
Wow.

Chris Bene 11:00
And actually, they're the highest rated service from AAA Oregon and there's a lot of services, of course, in underneath that umbrella. So that impressed me. Once I was able to talk to the general manager and I actually had two conversations with him. The first one was kind of interrupted and so I actually had two telephone conversations that were set up as informational interviews, which I started out right away going, “I do not want a job. I just want to talk to you about how you do these things.” And like I said, we had two great conversations and we just kind of wrapped it up and he's actually giving me the feedback that he goes "Chris, I've talked to a lot of people about these informational interviews because I've never had anybody with the depth of questions that you're asking me about our operation." And I said, "Okay. Well, thank you." And like I said, it went away until almost a year later from me taking that class that I went back and I thought, “This is something I would... it would not be a job.” And this is what you talked about, Scott. It's really not a job that I'm going to. It's just something that I like to help people with and I feel I'm pretty effective with that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 12:13
It's a whole different feeling. And until you are there it is difficult to describe because it doesn't mean that, like, you're going to get into that role in it doesn't mean like all your problems are going to be solved or anything like that, by any means, that's not what we're talking about. But it is a completely different feeling going and spending much more of your time in those areas that either really are leveraging your strengths and interests. Or they are much more in alignment with what you want and need. And what I'm hearing from you is that this is much more of both of those.

Chris Bene 12:53
Absolutely, and I know with our listeners especially people are in roles, and Scott this is why you probably made this whole Happen to Your Career is that you're in there, you're getting the paycheck, you have bills to pay, everybody has bills to pay, and you're thinking "I'm never going to leave this place. I mean it's terrible, but I'm just going to stay here." That's where I really appreciated. You know that class that I took, the career change bootcamp really helped me throughout the whole curriculum, realized there are other things I can do and let's start going down that path.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:28
I very much appreciate you saying that. I'm curious and I think some of our HTYC listeners might be very curious as well. You know, you talked about what we call test drive conversations and in some ways, they’re a little bit more advanced version of an informational interview and clearly that was the impression that this person had in a variety of different ways and it's for a different purpose for example. So one of the things that you said, I'd love to go back to that for just a minute, cause I think that can be really helpful as people are thinking about or finding themselves in this exact same place and want to do things a bit differently, as they're trying to determine what really is right for them and get to the same type of situation that you are. So for you, why did you say earlier that you declared up front that this was, you weren't necessarily looking for a job? And I heard you mention that just a couple of minutes ago when you were there and you were talking to that person in AAA.

Chris Bene 14:21
I think I just like to be a person that's direct. So I like to put that up front going, I'm not going to ask you for a job at the end of this talk. I mean I put it right up front because that way it puts finding out. I sent an email to him beforehand that I just wanted an informational interview, but I think that's clear once they hear you saying, “That's not my goal right now. I'm just trying to find out information.” So that's why me, Chris Bene, just sent it out ahead of time when I did go through informational interviews, and it did put people at ease. And then once I started in this particular case, once I started asking questions, he knew I wasn't a drive-by job interviewer, that I had really worked at a pretty significant level, not a professional level but significant level with working with automobiles.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:12
For everyone listening a lot of times the next thing people want to know is "What questions did you ask?", and I want to ask you that question too, and I want to preface that just a little bit, because I know from interacting with you that you have a genuine interest in this area, and it comes off very clearly and part of the reason why this is one approach to learn more about a particular area or industry or role, or whatever it might be. And one of the reasons why it can work in building relationships is because you can't really fake that genuine interest part of it. So that almost is a prerequisite but with that in mind, what types of questions did you ask, help people understand a little bit about how this flows in this particular occasion since we already mentioned it.

Chris Bene 15:59
I don't know if you'd call it a flow, Scott, but there were questions. I'm going to go back to the one that I just remember in my mind so much and I just said, "Mr. General Manager, you know, how do you achieve 99.3 percent," I said "I’m doing a lot of customer service, you know, type of roles. I've done this a lot." And I said "That is one of the highest levels I've ever heard of" "Well Chris'’, he said "70-75% of our clientele is either referrals or repeats." and I go "Oh? So they were happy with you the first time and they're coming back third, fourth ,fifth time, to have you consult with them to help them purchase a vehicle" and he said “yes”, and so that opened up a lot of doors and then from there I just kept on asking about how they do things different. So if you say about a flow I wanted to know how they were different than Joe's dealership for Ford or Chevy or Jaguar, or whoever. How were they different? Because I kept on drooling, my main goal was I wanted to feel good about the integrity of that company when I walked out. That was my goal. Yeah, you got to make money and we could talk about salary and we did later on but at this time for information, my key go was ways that they showed integrity.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:28
And I know that you and Lisa, your coach, had spent a lot of time talking about how to make sure that your next role was really within that integrity. So it's not a surprise to me that that was one of the things that you were searching for overall, and even in those types of conversations and questions as well. I am also curious, why do you think that, that conversation where you were going in trying to learn more about what it is that they actually offered and how they were doing some of these things and expressing that legitimate interest, why do you think that left such an impression on them? Because obviously they like almost a year later they ended up hiring you and you never once asked them for a job for all intents and purposes at the beginning stage. So, why do you think that that was such a big deal or why do you think it made such a big deal?

Chris Bene 18:23
A lot of prayers Scott, a lot of prayers, not from me, not only me, but a lot of my friends and a lot of my network. I just really clicked with the General Manager and people know that I mean you and I click but there's sometimes you just go in there and in fact I had this back-up plan with Julie my wife and I had told her "Julie my appointments on Friday at 9:30," and I said "If I call you up by 10 o'clock, I'm saying this is gone. This is another no or another no good and I'm just walking out." Well, this is the one that's recent, not the one a year ago. One recent, two hours later, I gave her a call and she said "I bet you went pretty well." I said yes it is, and I actually had job offer which really shocked her also, and it could have gone three hours Scott. It was that comfort level because I'm always me. At this point, I'm always me. I'm not… right out of college trying to figure out what the whole business world is about. I've been in it for a while and I’m just me because I know that that's the best way to be and I know you have a lot of strategies with interview questions, which is awesome because it's helped me out a lot, especially responses. But as far as just being you when you're in there, there's no better way to be and I knew with this general manager who would be my manager that I can work with him. He did have integrity, he's proven integrity from being in the industry for quite a while to me that this was going to work like just unbelievably great.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:00
I suspect that both in the initial conversation as well as more recent conversations, you being able to go in and ask about and express what you feel is important to you and for all intents and purposes, I don't think I probably felt like this at the moment, but for all intents and purposes, taking a stand on that is one way to think about it. In doing so, being you then I expect that helped it along for them being interested in you too. I could be wrong, but I suspect that them being able to see that that was you and it was obviously genuine and you are legitimately interested in that way that probably moved it along in terms of their desire to have you on their team. Do you think I'm way off base? Feel free to say no.

Chris Bene 20:56
So well, I was just like I said, I was just myself and I felt very comfortable and I feel that we clicked as people and once again, that's my belief on that matter. I'm sure just like I saw things in the General Manager that I liked that we did talk about also. So...

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:16
It’s funny how looking back a lot of this stuff can feels organic people come to us all the time when they're looking for the tips and tricks and techniques and everything else along those lines, but honestly , a lot of what we teach is just how to make those things much more organic and get to real relationships or real value or real situations that feel good to all parties and are good for all parties and I love how you what you have done here, has been a great example of that. But here's another question though Chris, because not everything always went well. This took longer than what you had wanted it too, I think. Is that fair to say?

Chris Bene 21:56
Oh, absolutely.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:59
What was harder about going through this type of change for yourself? What was more difficult than what you anticipated?

Chris Bene 22:09
I think being totally human. I think it was the time factor, because it took me 12 months from taking your class , Scott, but from being let go it was a seven-month journey. And some people might say "Man, I've been out a year." Some people might not be out longer than that because of circumstances, but I didn't think it was going to take that long. I mean, of course, I'm very confident, I’m a business development guy and I’m like you, I have a very positive view, that’s one of my strengths. Of course my wife, the realist, said “It’s going to take longer, and you know why? Because…” and I’m gonna open up to kimono here a little bit, I am an older worker and I've been through some of those games already to where I told him, ''No”. I think I told you this already and maybe I did in this interview. I told four different companies “No” that I was offered positions because I knew they weren't the position I was looking for. I knew that. And I'd say three out of the four were in the field that I am a veteran, that I have experience in, that I've worked for a number of people with, including American Express, pretty big names, but it wasn't right. But the ending is a happy ending and I hope to be able to come back in a number of months and tell you how much even better it is than I thought it was going to be.

Scott Anthony Barlow 23:38
I am anxiously awaiting that update, Chris, I mean what we talked just a little bit before and you might be able to give me some of that update because we briefly talked about, I think I'm going to be in your area so we'll hopefully get the opportunity to meet up, have coffee everything like that, you can fill me in on what it is like as you're into month one and two. I'm anxiously looking forward to that.

Chris Bene 23:59
That'd be great Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:00
Yes, absolutely. I’m very much looking forward to that. And let me ask you one final question here. For people that find themselves in that same situation, where they recognize for one reason or another that they want to make a change and that there is potentially a much better situation as you pointed out for them out there and something that is a better fit well in a variety of different ways. What advice would you give them? What advice would you give them after making your own journey?

Chris Bene 24:30
Well, and they're not being cliché about it, that really more faith than fear because Scott you know what the people you talk to and work with and your whole team, fear is huge. It's fear of not finding something, it’s fear of changing, fear of change is huge. And that's what I would tell people is that it's going to be a little bit scary, the journey, but it's worth it. Like I said, I didn’t think a year ago, I'd be saying this but you know, I'm a success story, not only your class, but just the journey.

Scott Anthony Barlow 25:08
That is amazing and I think that sometimes it's really hard to understand that fully until you've seen all sides of it. But I very much appreciate that advice and it is so true. It really is so true. It's just absolutely fear, I think, is one of the biggest things that has a tendency to cause us not to realize or have things happen for us that we actually want or may want or suspect we might want. And you've just done a really nice job looking that fear in the face, and being able to move beyond any ways, even though it's hard. So congratulations again, sir.

Chris Bene 25:48
Cool. Well, thank you, Scott. And I appreciate you and Lisa and the whole team there and offering the class that did have one key component that booted me out and kept me going. So, thank you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:03
If this is not your first episode of the Happen To Your Career podcast, you've probably heard somebody on here that their first step to work that they absolutely love, that fits their strengths, and they're excited about, was going through our free eight day mini course to figure out what fits you. And we've had now well over 30,000 people have that as their beginning step to identifying what they want in their lives. And you can do the exact same thing. And if you're interested in that, it has some really amazing questions to get you started in becoming clear on what you want and what you need in your career. And it's a great way to kick it off and determine what is most important for you, moving forward. You can learn what you're great at. So you can stop wasting time in your job, and start working in your career, even identify some of the internal blockages that are keeping you from fulfilling work, and wealth and career success. And begin narrowing down what you should be doing for work that's fulfilling to you. All you have to do is go to figureitout.co that's figureitout.co and get started today, enter your email and voila will send you the very first lesson. Head on over there, figureitout.co or you can text HAPPEN to 44222 that's HAPPEN to 44222.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:39
How do you know when you've made the right decision about your career? Because honestly, sometimes it's pretty difficult. What if you think you know what you want, only to make the change, and then it doesn't work out. I got to talk to someone that has done that, they've been there, they've done that, they've got the teaser.

Louise McNee 27:59
So I'm a commercial manager. I just started working for a great company. It's actually a radio station here in Australia. So it's a completely different industry than I've worked in before.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:11
Louise is a Brit who relocated to Australia, and now she has a job she loves. But before, it was not great for years, in fact, well, I mean, she had a ton of success in her career. But the only problem was that it wasn't the success she wanted. So she changed jobs. And then did it again. Turns out it didn't work. But all that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically, even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week. Adios. I'm out.

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

Weak Ties: Maximizing Your Network To Land Your Ideal Role

on this episode

Friends! How many of us have them? Friends! Ones you can depend on?

Everyone has a network. And here’s a secret… almost everyone thinks their network isn’t big or strong enough to help them land their ideal role. Not true! 

The problem is that most people misunderstand how their network actually works. Studies have shown that it’s not the people closest to us who are the really powerful part of our network — it’s the weak ties, the friends of friends, who truly matter for making things happen. Sociologists call this the “Power of Weak Ties.”

And it makes sense, because the people closest to you probably know many of the same people you do, whereas your weak ties likely know other people beyond your normal networks. These weak ties are your bridge to career change.

On this week’s podcast, I chat with Tanya Malcolm Revell, an HTYC success story who used the weak ties in her network to get an introduction that led to her ideal role.

What you’ll learn

  • Why your network should be tapped into to unlock your ideal role.
  • How to discover the power of weak ties in your network.
  • How to use your network to land your ideal role.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 00:01

The job searches were pretty much leading me, I was very overwhelmed and very scattered throughout my searches, not really knowing where to focus or how to focus. And then of course, as I'm looking at the calendar, all of a sudden, a week has gone by, two weeks have gone by, and now than a month, and then two months, three months, and I was getting very bummed out, to say the least.

Introduction 00:30

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what it does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:54

Over the years, we've shown you a lot of career changes that most people would consider impossible. We know from being on the inside of these, that it can be really challenging to think about, how on earth someone would make this career change from one drastically different occupation to another or how they might go and get what most people would consider to be a... impossible dream job, and many, many other things between. So that's one of the reasons why we take great pains to show you how it works from the inside. For example, how does someone go from identifying a list of organizations that they might want to work for, and getting an opportunity with their number one company on that list?

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 01:46

I work with Wanderlust and if you're not familiar with them, Wanderlust started as a yoga studio, but now has branched out and produces festivals and events throughout the world.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:57

That's Tanya Malcolm-Revell.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 02:00

I got myself into a position where I am now a part of the production team involved in bringing Wanderlust into Europe and presently into London, into the United Kingdom.

Scott Anthony Barlow 02:12

Tanya's story is super interesting because she was trying to find her ideal opportunity in a completely different country. She's from the US, but her husband and her work relocating to London. The way she found her opportunity is even more interesting, especially since she ended up working with her number one organization that she had said "hey, this is where I want to work." So listen close throughout this conversation, as she shares exactly how she did it. Here she is, telling about where her career started.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 02:48

Well, it started in New York City in television production. So I really cut my teeth in the MTV Music Television arena, and was in there, gosh, for about 12, 13 years, on and off doing exploring within television production, and then jumping in and out to different facets of the Music Television arena. So I was, like I said, a TV producer, but I also did experiential marketing around events. And I worked on festivals. And until very recently, I was working as a tour manager for pretty big bands. And like I said, I've done this for years and years and years and the overwhelming process throughout every new job that I would take was, I really don't like this. I really don't like something in my job, because it's not fulfilling. It's not necessarily the work itself, although I'm sure there are bits and pieces that drive me nuts, but it's not that particularly, it's a bigger umbrella, and I can't quite put my finger on what the heck it is. But you know, there's a new job, and it's right in front of me. So I'll go ahead and grab that one anyway. And that been pretty much my story year over a year, you know, the available job and not really diving in deeply into, why am I having these thoughts? You know, why is this job career not really fulfilling? So why is this circle keep happening exactly? So, my journey started, gosh, you heard what I was saying about not being fulfilled about my position, but I’ve been really started to transition really happened when my husband and I decided to move outside of the United States and come over to the United Kingdom. And I was ecstatic for many reasons. But in terms of my career, I thought this would be a great opportunity to just not reinvent myself, but maybe just do that, reinvent myself. Look at what I've been doing and start from scratch, which you know, sounds all well and good and ideally that would have happened and I would have gotten a job the next month or day or whatever.

Scott Anthony Barlow 05:00

24 hours later, at least. “We've arrived!” Okay, Where's it at?

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 05:04

Fortunate, after a little bit of a longer deal getting a work be the spouse work visa, I just got sat down and said, I refuse to fall into my old ways, I really need to think about what I wanna get out of my next position. I'm in a great place to do that right now. There's no overwhelming monetary need for me to jump into something. As I felt that years and years living in New York City, it's just all about the next job and who knows you. So I felt like to slow down and really evaluate where I was at. And I tried to do that on my own and realize very, very quickly that I was going nowhere fast. The job searches were pretty much leading me, I was very overwhelmed and very scattered throughout my searches, not really knowing where to focus or how to focus. So getting more and more frustrated throughout the entire process, and then of course, as I'm looking at the calendar, all of a sudden, a week has gone by, two weeks have gone by, and now than a month, and then two months, three months, and I was getting very bummed out, to say the least. And then I think I went online. And I just said, I need to find a podcast about career transitions and finding a job. And I stumbled across your interview with on Mac's List. And I swear, I listened to you and the Happen To Your Career bootcamp, and you were talking about and I said, "Oh my God, that's me." This is what I need. I need some guidance. I need a voice who can help me get to the bottom of what I truly need to get not just for myself, but just that great work life balance for myself, my husband, my career, etc. And I went online and I think we were talking within the next couple of hours. I called or emailed you right away, and voila, I was inundated with the Happen To Your Career process.

Scott Anthony Barlow 06:55

I think I got your email, somehow ended up on a Skype call, like I’ll just gonna call her.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 06:59

Yeah, that's exactly how it happened. And I have to say, Scott, you know, it's when I was talking to my husband and I said, "this is the first time where I feel like I have found someone in something that is going to make me focus and give me purpose." But I feel like I, my purpose is about to explode everywhere. And having gone through a couple different conversations with you, I jumped into the bootcamp. And you know, the rest is history, so to speak, in the sense that ultimately, and I'll give you the abbreviated version and then dive in a little bit more deeply, but ultimately putting in the work and the effort throughout the bootcamp really paying attention to myself and my thoughts and kind of my gut as well, what worked, what didn't work throughout my career, what I was looking for, what my wants were, what my motivations were, my minimums, my ideals, etc. And just putting this all down on paper, you know, I realized it's not rocket science, at the end of the day, this is me. But what it did for me is it helped to put me into perspective. You know, it helped me to really think about myself in a different light by evaluating my skills, my beliefs, my needs, and my wants. I mean, it's almost like I was able to see myself through a bigger lens. And then in turn, now, I was able to properly position myself and focus myself like in this career transition. And that's the key that had been missing this entire time. I didn't know how to position myself, I didn't know how to focus and I didn't really know what I wanted at the base. So going through everything, coming out of it at the back end, with this great, like my career profile, and it's there and it's what I want, what I need, and then focusing my search on companies based upon that, that shared my belief system that had the values that I was looking for, I targeted Wanderlust and I think was one of the first companies that came out of my mouth once as soon as I had this great profile, and I was like, "I want to work for Wanderlust."

Scott Anthony Barlow 08:58

Really? That's pretty cool.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 09:00

Absolutely. And then a couple of other places on my list is as you should... That was always key. And number one, so yeah. And then I just did everything that you guys basically coached us to do the reach out, the network, you know, massaging your network to see who knows who and reaching out to them and seeing if you get introductions and being very bold and forward, which is part of what I do in my job. But in terms of a job search, I was very hesitant to do.

Scott Anthony Barlow 09:29

It's outside your normal conventional operating area, like...

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 09:32

And that was the other pieces, I was like, “okay, look, you want something this desperately or this badly, then why wouldn't you work outside of your normal operating levels or your normal conventions?” What's the worst that they can say? You know, but that's better than no answer whatsoever that you wouldn't have gotten in the first place. So I did all of that. And I got into one of the co-founders of the festival, I got directly to him. And he, in turn then, you know, obviously responded to my email. And then, because I'm now in the UK, he shot me through to that arm that deals with all of the branding outside of the United States. So then, of course, in bigger conversations started there with that entity. And it was a little bit of a painful process just because they weren't quite ready to have the deeper conversations, although they did recognize that I would be a good fit. It was one of those things. And you've mentioned this and Lisa, during many of our coaching sessions, reiterated this, it's not necessarily what they can do for you right then and there. It's about establishing a relationship and keeping that relationship going so that when there is an opportunity, you're the first person they're going to think of. And Scott, that's exactly what I did.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:49

Know this is so wonderful, because I'm not surprised by it anymore. I don't think that's the right word. But I'm always amazed at how when you define what it is that you want and when you know what you want and then when you take action or ask for what you want or go after what it is that you want, very often…

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 11:10

It manifests itself. Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 11:12

Yeah, yeah, it is just a really interesting phenomenon that I observe all the time, in my life, I've observed in a lot of the lives of our students, clearly this has happened for you. And just like you said, the other really interesting part of that is 100% of the time, or I should say, nearly 100% of the time, what we want is outside the realm of what we've done before, which means that by definition, it's outside our normal comfort zones or normal operations zones or anything else, which also by definition, makes it uncomfortable. So it’s, kudos to you for moving through that because that's not an easy thing to do at all.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 11:49

It wasn’t. But you know, Scott, at the end of the day, if you want something and you're determined to make a change in your life and in your career, I could not go another day saying, “oh, I'm not happy or I don't like my job or I wish I didn't have to go to work today” I was over that. I spent way too much time thinking of the negatives. So there was only one thing for me to do, and that was focused on me and the positive and the future. I couldn't dwell on the past anymore. And it wasn't beneficial for me, nor was it beneficial for my job hunt. So I still am flabbergasted that the conversations went very, very well, with wanderlust, but I'm still flabbergasted that they said, “Hey, by the way, the London events are starting up and we'd like for you to lead the charge on it. Are you available to start tomorrow?” So yeah, it was exactly like you had kind of presented it in the sense that the hard work, the dedication, having your career profile or dialing that far down into your wants, your needs, your beliefs, etc, like I mentioned, and coming up with that, you can only find something that is going to speak to you and represent who you are. Because that's what you're focusing on. And that's where your career search is going towards. So at the end of the day, whatever presents itself is going to be a positive outcome for you, no matter what. And that has been the biggest revelation for me, I will never go out for a job just because it's presented itself on some random LinkedIn, you know, job blast and it sounds good. Other than me, focusing on companies that I know that I will be appreciated in, I know that I will be able to grow in, I know that I will be able to work in some sort of collaborative environment, a big piece for me to having a flexible work schedule. I really don't like taking the tube during rush hour. I don't know too many people who do. Having a schedule where I could flex my hours and work from home when I wanted to. And also go into an office if I wanted to, and may are 100% on board with that, which I did a couple of fist pumps in the air when I heard that, but more importantly working with people whose values are really aligned with me in mind. So yeah, I've got all that. I've got everything I wanted. That's the craziest part, everything, not one, not two, not two and a half, like everything.

Scott Anthony Barlow 14:20

It feels crazy right now. But I think the cool part is that now that you've done that, you realize that, that is something that you can build for yourself every single time that you want to make a switch or I don't know if something changes in your life in which you need something different and you have to make a change for one reason or another because something no longer aligns. Then you now have the tools and the experience to know that, that's totally possible for yourself, which is super, super cool.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 14:49

Yeah, absolutely. And I have the tools to be able to pivot I mean, it's called a career pivot for a reason, right? And I feel more confident in being able to shift left to right, front or back, whatever, but knowing that I'm going to move forward in a direction that aligns with me. And again, I've never had that before. I've never had that feeling behind me.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:10

You're in such an interesting place because you've just moved through it. So I'm always really interested in people's opinions. Like, I'm a research not in this way. But what do you feel like were some of the key either events or things that had to happen in order for you to be ready to make this type of change and look at it in a different way? As you look back, what were some of those for you? I think it's a little bit different for everybody, but I’m curious.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 15:36

Yeah, absolutely. I think 100%, like phase one was figure out what the heck I wanted to get out of my career. What I wanted to get out of this next phase in my life, and I think everybody has to do that before they can be successful in anything period. And you can go through life, you can go through your jobs and be successful. But to truly get every drop out of the experience, and more positive obviously than negative, you got to figure out what makes you tick. And what's gonna keep you going 100%.

Scott Anthony Barlow 16:08

Well, let me ask you even a little bit before that, what caused you to get frustrated enough to the point where you wanting to do it differently than you had done it before? I know that you'd mentioned, hey, there was this move to London, and it seems like the opportunity time, and certainly timing had happened. But I know plenty of people that have made a move abroad or move to a different country. I've interacted with those people over email that aren't to the point and level where they're necessarily going to take action on it, if you will.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 16:38

Got it. Absolutely. Well, as I mentioned, I was working in television production and entertainment. And what I didn't mention is I was living in Los Angeles prior to moving to the UK. So being inundated in the entertainment arena, again was great stepping stone. It's gotten me to where I'm at today. But what it really quickly does is it frustrates you by the amount of ego that needs to be managed in throughout if its artists, producers, etc. The one thing that I through my search my profile, I've really understood that I'm very good at being that person that can morph myself into different situations. So I’m the very good at flexing and being supportive of others. And I was doing that more to it an extent where it was more detrimental to me and my career health.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:32

That's interesting.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 17:32

Yeah, I was giving out more to others than I was getting back. So and you know, okay great, this me choosing to do this. But the consistency of doing that year over year and feeling like, well yes, I was progressing in my career in terms of title. I wasn't getting anything back in terms of support, or just even if it was just a little kudos, “hey, by the way, great job” nothing, just nothing in that regard. And it didn't make me feel good, at the end of the day while you have the event, the project, the festival, the concert was success, I was still kind of at a, we can say 1 to 10, I was always at a 5, in terms of what I would get out of it. So I was absolutely frustrated with that. And every job even moved through different arenas, from television production to festival thinking, okay, maybe something new and different will happen here. At the base. I really did like a lot of the work that I was doing, it was just this overarching piece that I thought I could change up and unfortunately, it wasn't working, at least in that entertainment festival TV arena. So with the move, I knew I wanted to put a stop to that cycle and that I wanted to get a lot more out of myself and out of what I was doing for others and I wanted to be more empowering to a community but also something that I could feel proud of and say, “hey, Mom, Dad, take a look at what I just produced” you know, instead of some random show on MTV. So that was the impetus behind me really starting the journey. London was the conduit, and Happen To Your Career was the platform. So, yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:11

I love that, I'm gonna borrow that. Several look, it might change from London, I don’t know.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 19:18

Absolutely, no, but that's exactly, that's my story on the front end into a nutshell. And then other thing, it’s just in terms of what else had to happen to make this happen was very quickly, I've always been into yoga. I've always been into health and wellness, or have it been though ‘whoo’ you know, 24/7 type of person. But it's always been very integral in my life. No matter where I'd been. If I'd been on the road, I would always take out time to go to the gym, maybe take a yoga class, go to the wide, walk around the park or whatever, you know, have a good meal, that's always been a foundation of who I am. So, which was great. But I didn't have the network here in London. So the other part is I really had to establish a network and put my face out there, take those leaps that didn't feel comfortable and maybe present myself at an event where I knew nobody, and with business cards and a handshake, just make people know me like, I'm here yet again. And I did that and did with a couple of key influencers in the health and wellness market. And it just resonated. So I put myself in front of yoga studios and actually said, “hey, by the way, if there's an opportunity, I'd love to volunteer and help out and once a week, or if it's event based, I'm here.” And I actually got signed on with one of the largest yoga studios here in London.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:40

Really?

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 20:40

And funnily enough, this is a little secret, but funnily enough, we're going to try to see if we can get them on board at Wanderlust because it's such a great studio and I have all the contacts and now.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:49

Hold on. That's it. This is something that is really interesting that happens with nearly everybody that goes through this process is, and it's so fascinating to me, you go through, and I'm gonna call it just doing the work, you're putting in the reps, for lack of a better phrase. And inevitably, you start to build relationships.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 21:09

Absolutey.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:09

And then as you build those relationships, you don't know where or when necessarily, but those actually end up becoming useful or mutually beneficial for…

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 21:20

Like one degree separated.

Scott Anthony Barlow 21:21

Yeah, exactly. For a variety of different reasons, not necessarily just, you know, transactional, that's gonna get me to my next job, or whatever it happens to be. But this is super, super, super cool. So now, you not only got to know these people, and it sounds like people that you were really interested in knowing anyway, based on the work that you had done and said, hey, this is kind of where my values and interests and everything else fall. But then now it sounds like you're getting to work with them continuously or possibly, right?

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 21:51

Absolutely. And you're right, the people that I have met just by doing that, the world is large until it's not, you know, and the health and wellness industry in the UK is booming. But it's still I mean, compared to the US, it's still fledgling, so the people who shine and actually take an active part and participate, you will see them over and over again or you know, or maybe you recognize another person at the next event. So having the touch points with the yoga studios, having the touch points with the gyms, having the touch points with the great health platform aggregator that just kind of brings in the health, wellness news and not regurgitates that brings it in a nice condensed package to the consumers and they also have events, I would go to their events where you would meet influencers in the health and wellness arena, whether it's clothing lines or food products, etc. So just a bunch of different POV’s in this arena. Then, you know, afterwards you'd get to meet them, cards or exchange and so forth and so on. And that's just what I was doing. And I kept building and building and building so much so that with Wanderlust, you know, a big part of any event is the ties into the community and obviously for the the consumer draw, but also what can we present to the consumer that they're gonna like and appreciate. So having gone to all of these wellness industry events, where they presented the new and upcoming trendy thing or what's resonating, I already know, all of this stuff, the research is done. Now we just have to go out and engage them. So I could not have made this up, even if I tried. But no, really I couldn't. But just staying on top of it even when I know, here in London, the rain, you know, rainy day didn't really feel like doing anything. I didn't really feel like going up to Soho to go to an event but I just, you know what, Tanya, at the end of the day, what do you have to lose and just did it and every single time I've walked away saying, “oh my gosh, I got this person's contact. I had a great time. I learned more about X, Y, and Z out of everything, and nothing has been too small or too big.”

Scott Anthony Barlow 24:01

Let me ask you about a couple of different pieces of the process, for lack of a better phrase, like your journey, we'll call it that. You mentioned earlier, you'd sent an email and connected with one of main people for events. Right? So, I'm curious for people, we touched on that earlier, but I'm curious what you actually did in that particular case and why you feel that particular email, contact, etc. actually worked? What about it?

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 24:30

Ah, this is a great question. So it wasn't as simple as I, you know, wasn't as streamlined as that, what happened was, I came out of, I forget what week it was in the boot camp, and I was like, “Eureka! I know what I want. And I want to work for Wanderlust.” And again, I just started looking at a my network first and foremost to see if I had any ties with the Wanderlust. And on the first level, I didn't think that I did. And I just started mentioning it to everybody again, I'm trying to manifest it. So I'm throwing it out there. And every person that I met, or the person that I had worked with, I said, “hey, by the way, you know, I'm really interested in working with Wanderlust. Do you know anybody? Or have you been to one? Etc.” So I actually landed on a coworker who had, she said, I don't know anybody directly at Wanderlust, but I think I know somebody who's good friends with one of the founders, and I was like, you've got to be kidding me. So based upon my relationship with this woman, which was fantastic, my co workers, she then introduced me to reached out, yes indeed, that this other woman had a relationship with the co founder, and then in turn, based upon their relationship introduced me on the weight, the strength of my work, my ethics and just what I could bring to the party. So then this woman took it upon my friends word that I'm badass and introduce me to the founder. Now that was great. I've now got an email address. I have somebody who's setting this up. That was a big part. But what really sealed the deal, and this is something that Lisa and I had gone through, and you're sending these emails out to people and they're getting a crap ton of them day in day out, you've got to differentiate yourself one, but you also have to say, look, this isn't just about me trying to get something from you. I want to give something back to you as well if possible, and it's an information exchange first and foremost, and I know I'm a little, but you need to know what that means. And I think the person help in this your transition moving overseas. So more succinctly and more deeply than I've just kind of articulated it. I sent a really bad ass, excuse my French, email to Sean outlined all of this. And he said, “Yeah, you do seem like the best person. Let me introduce you over to the EMEA people, people dealing with Europe, Middle East and Asia.

Scott Anthony Barlow 26:55

Very cool.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 26:55

And that's how that transpired. It was really cool. But I don't think he would have given me the time of day if “A”, is the intro, weren't as strong as they were on me, from my friends, but be in terms of the written communication from myself. If that had lacked or didn't really show my enthusiasm, then I'm getting one of many, as much as I'd like to think I'm amazing, which I am.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:20

I agree.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 27:21

On paper that can fade and fizzle fast if you're not scintillating, or you don't kind of let them know that you're really willing to be the brand, or you're really into their brand.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:32

Especially recently, a lot of research on how these types of connections are made and why they're so effective at and first of all, it's so interesting that most, not all, but most, might someplace in the range of 70 to 80% of these types of opportunities, these types of it's my dream job type opportunities are found based on interactions through weak ties.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 27:58

Yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:59

Yeah. Meaning that it is not necessarily somebody you know, in your immediate network, because if it's somebody you interact with all the time, or somebody who you regularly see or regularly talk to or whatever else, then you're probably already aware of any people or opportunities that they know immediately. However, it's usually in the less strong ties and less strong relationships where you begin to find those type of things that aren't known to you when you're seeking it out. In this case, it was a former co-worker who…

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 28:30

Yeah.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:31

Yeah, and...

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 28:32

Absolutely.

Scott Anthony Barlow 28:33

People underestimate. I have, I did for many years underestimated the weight that is carried behind a strong recommendation and some of the psychological reasons that trust and credibility are already there when you have that initial weight behind it for somebody that you know and like already, and it just, it adds like 150 pound weight to whatever force you're already carrying. So you're really awesome written communication that you had sent off was, I don't know, it's like a parachute or something along those lines or sailboat or something like that. And all of a sudden, you get this huge gust of wind behind it in New Year's cruise and is struggling for an analogy, but we'll work on that.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 29:11

No, 100% agree. And again, it was just articulating, it's like, look, I am looking for a job in this company, or with this type of company or with this particular company in general. Do you know anybody or just keep me in mind? And again, that was my mantra.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:26

Yeah. This is so amazing for so many different reasons. I'm really curious, because we've got so many people that listen to the show that are in the place that you were not that long ago, where...

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 29:40

I was that person listening to the show.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:43

Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 29:44

In the same position. Absolutely.

Scott Anthony Barlow 29:46

Yeah, you're been in the cycle. You're there and you're frustrated, and you're not entirely sure what to do differently. But what advice would you give that person who's in that place?

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 29:58

Don't let the hard days or the days where you don't think you're moving forward or that nothing's happening, stop you or slow you down. I think that for me was the really, really, really tough part when I didn't see the end of the rainbow. You know, there the end in sight. I couldn't necessarily get that particular connection that I wanted, or I already gotten some sort of negative feedback or no feedback. Don't let that stop you. If anything should double down in your efforts. And I know it's harder to do than say, but you know what? Caffeine and chocolate will get you through it. Just do it. You've got to do it. Because I worked so hard that when this happened, it felt so friggin sweet, that much sweeter and I would have been happy no matter what. But knowing that I made this happen. It wasn't somebody coming to me. It wasn't me trying to throw my resume into a random lotto of 100 million other people for the same job. This was me networking. This was me, keeping my ships. This is me, top of me just kind of sticking with it when even when I wasn't getting a response on an email or a phone call, I was just calling back and making sure that they knew who I was. So stay strong, kick ass. And just remember that you are who you are, and you bring a lot to the table.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:20

Absolutely love it. You did such a great job. And I so appreciate you taking the time and coming on and being able to share your story so that everybody else can benefit from it too. And firsthand, congratulations. I hadn't even told you that yet. But… over your email. Yeah, very, very cool.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 31:39

Oh, gosh, I'm staring up at the sky and I'm still kind of flabbergasted. So thank you. Thank you guys. This was an amazing journey. You know, you held my hand along the way, and you've got me to the other side. And for that I will be eternally grateful.

Scott Anthony Barlow 31:55

Well, I appreciate you letting us take along for the ride. Tanya, thank you again.

Tanya Malcolm-Revell 32:02

Thanks, Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:03

Here's something else that's not obvious from listening to this conversation with Tanya. So I actually recorded this conversation quite a while ago. And since then, Tanya has actually transitioned into another organization. And here's what's really interesting about that. I think this is fascinating, because one of the biggest questions we get, or one of the biggest fears we encounter as it relates to career change is, well, what if I choose the wrong position? What if I choose the wrong position? What if I choose the wrong company? What if I... with all the what if's, right. So Tanya, actually went, got this great opportunity with Wanderlust which you heard about and then was there for about a year. And then it turned into, through a variety of events, turned into a situation that was no longer great for her. So she took literally everything that she learned through this process of career change that we got the opportunity to help her with, and use all of that to relatively quickly, far more quickly, make a transition into something that was even better. Pretty cool, right? So worst case scenario, that's what's so interesting about this process. I wish that we taught this in schools, because what is so interesting is that you can use this the entire rest of your life, these types of skill sets are worth developing, because they make everything else that you want possible, even when life gets thrown at you. So great job to Tanya, first of all, and if you want help, or figuring out how to make things that seem impossible happen in your situation, that's what we're here for. So here's what I would suggest, just open your phone right now and open your email app and I'm going to give you my personal email address, scott@happentoyourcareer.com just email me and put a 'Conversation' in the subject line. And then when you do that, I'll introduce you to the right person on our team. And you can have a conversation with us. We'll try and understand your goals and what you want to accomplish in your career no matter where you're at. And we can figure out the very best way that we can help you and your situation. So open up right now and send me an email with 'Conversation' in the subject line scott@happentoyourcareer.com

Chris Bene 34:29

Basically, I've been doing this for free since I've been in high school.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:33

That's Chris Bene. He lives in Vancouver, Washington, which if you don't know is across the river from Portland, Oregon. But for a long time, he was involved in business development in the corporate travel industry. However, he had this hobby he called "car consulting."

Chris Bene 34:50

And it's just started off that people would say, well, "I'm thinking about this type of car" and I would start to talk to them and do that, but I really always hesitated from going into the car industry because I'm just gonna say outright and very track it's like kind of a sleazy industry that people, they've been through the strategy of spending five to eight hours in a dealership, just being drug through the mud on buying a car, it shouldn't be that hard. And it's actually a strategy of theirs that they're trying to used to wear you down to where you're just buy this car from them.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:27

Now, I want you to fast forward here or 10 months after Chris had been working on his career change. Here he is, again.

Chris Bene 35:34

What I'm going to be doing is going to be a consultant for triple A Oregon. And this is their services they call the auto source, and it's a car buying service. And what's great about it, Scott, is that they're able to talk to me and I am not a dealer, they'll be able to talk to me as a consultant, just to talk them through the types of cars that they're looking for, or possibly like I said, selling and just to give them some great insight information on that. This is something I would, it would not be a job. And this is what you've always talked about Scott, "it's really not a job that I'm going to, it's just something that I'd like to help people with." And I feel I'm pretty effective with that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 36:16

Okay, let's break down. What led up to this change? And how this hobby that he now gets to do for career, actually happened? All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically. Even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week, adios. I'm out.

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!

Defining Your Ideal Role Based On What Success Looks Like For You

on this episode

Not only do we all want to be successful, we all want to FEEL successful. Often, that means getting a job that other people regard as important or prestigious…even if the job actually makes us miserable. It’s one more way we allow the expectations of others, the unwritten rules, trap us in a role that isn’t a fit. On the podcast today, Jackie Yerby discusses her distinguished career in public policy and how she escaped from the prestige trap.

What you’ll learn

  • Why a role that’s ideal for others may not be ideal for you.
  • How to not let others’ expectations keep you in a role that isn’t right for you.
  • Why it’s important to figure out what is your own concept of success.

Success Stories

I see much better now how my five Clifton strengths tied together and the ones that I had felt were really not that much of a big deal, I can see better how they are innovative to me as a person and to my strengths and where they come from. And that was a kind of a new thing. What I love is new situations and learning, and I actually actively look for opportunities to push myself out of my comfort zone. So, and if I look back at past roles, I would tend to have to go back to go to the land and to run a major program that had been failing. And I didn't know a lot of the nitty gritty, the detail of all the different projects, but I had the organizational skills, I wanted to learn about the different projects. I wasn't fazed by the fact that I didn't know any of that detail. So I had the challenge of learning and the environment initially and also the challenge of language as I learn to. And that satisfied my learning.

Judith Bhreasláin, LIBOR Discontinuation Project Manager, United Kingdom

I greatly appreciate your help in bringing this along because I wouldn't have had the confidence to negotiate and to be where I am today without the help of a lot of other people. You played a really significant role in it. I'm not going to be that everyday person that hates my job, I'm going to stretch and I'm going to aspire to be better and I'm not going to make that everyday salary. Thank you Scott for putting this out there for all the people that are trying to do a little bit better and trying to go a little bit farther. This is awesome. I love this. This thing that you do, the whole HTYC thing, from the paperwork all the way down to the podcast and just helping people understand that there is success out there and it is attainable but you've got to work for it.

Jerrad Shivers, Market Manager, United States/Canada

Getting clear on what I wanted helped me to recognize how perfect this opportunity was when it came along and the choice to switch was a no-brainer. Thanks for doing the work you do!

Austin Marlar, Frontend Developer, United States/Canada

I stumbled across HTYC through an article and it gave me hope again. After a Strengths Finder review session with your career coach and the Figure Out What Fits course, I've finally admitted to myself what I really want to do, what I really want out of life, and have made a decision.

Kevin Long, UX Programmer, United States/Canada

Jackie Yerby 00:02

So I will be the policy director for the Urban League of Portland. And you know, we work on civil rights issues for folks of color with a particular emphasis on the African-American community. My heart is singing at the prospect of doing mission driven work that feels really important especially right now.

Introduction 00:28

This is the Happen To Your Career podcast, with Scott Anthony Barlow. We help you stop doing work that doesn't fit you, figure out what does and make it happen. We help you define the work that's unapologetically you, and then go get it. If you're ready to make a change, keep listening. Here's Scott. Here's Scott. Here's Scott.

Scott Anthony Barlow 00:52

What happens when you have a job that seems prestigious, most people would love to have it, but you can't stand it?

Jackie Yerby 01:00

The work culture was pretty toxic. I didn't feel good about the work. So my first best day was the day that I decided I needed to leave that job.

Scott Anthony Barlow 01:10

That's Jackie Yerby. She is what, the kids today would call a boss, she's had a series of various prestigious high impact roles in public policy, although not all of them are fulfilling. And this is a fascinating aspect of career change in itself. We have shared a lot on the podcast about looking past what other people do to change careers or what other people think is fulfilling and trying to identify what you want, what you find fulfilling, even if it makes other people say, "really? are you sure?" Well, it turns out that Jackie's career brought her into some high powered circles of people who had very specific ideas about what it meant to be successful and Jackie felt like she had to meet their standard. Keep your open during this episode for Jackie's explanation of how she escaped other people's expectations and focused on what actually made her feel fulfilled. Here she is, explaining where her career began.

Jackie Yerby 02:13

So I have a Master's in Public Policy from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard. And I studied Health Care Policy. To the extent, there are minors by, kind of minor concentration was in international affairs and security. But I knew that I really wanted to focus on domestic policy. And I went to grad school in the 90s. And so that was when Hillary Clinton was working on health care reform. And I've always really been concerned about the lack of access to health care especially for folks who have been marginalized which includes lots of communities of color. So that's been something I've always really cared about and, you know I tried to do other things, but I kept being called back to health care policy. And as you can imagine, I mean even in the 90s going to grad school is expensive. And you know even with scholarships I took out a lot of loans. And so when the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association said, “hey we want to interview you.” And I'll just pause and say like you know they post in our career center. I looked at the job posting. I'm like, "No way. That's not me. I'm not qualified to do that." And they said, “No. We actually want to talk to you.” And so I was flattered. So I went to that on-campus interview and they invited me to Chicago to interview. And several folks within that organization had actually gone to the Kennedy School. And so, I didn't have to play my degree to them. And we hit it off and it was amazing. And then I ended up being in a horrible experience.

Scott Anthony Barlow 03:44

In what way?

Jackie Yerby 03:45

The work culture was pretty toxic and it was the kind of thing where I did form friendships within my department. But it was kind of like, in spite of all the energies trying to keep us apart, and I remember I had this one really good friend who, we would have lunch together on a regular basis, we were sneaking out, you know, we're like meet by the elevator or meet down stairs. And we think that we were conducting like a clandestine affair because like we didn't want the boss to know that we were becoming such good friends 'cuz we might be talking about them, you know.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:25

Oh, no.

Jackie Yerby 04:26

And I would say, my first best day... oh, let me just say to you, I didn't feel good about the work. I didn't feel like I could stand behind the work.

Scott Anthony Barlow 04:35

What was the work at that time?

Jackie Yerby 04:37

Yeah. And you know it was a consulting type work. And I didn't feel good about what we were selling. I also wasn't forming deep connections in Chicago. And like for the 14 months I lived there, I didn't spend a single three day weekend there. At that point I had the ability to just kind of like hop on a plane at a moment and used to be able to do that. And so I would fly to Washington D.C. where most of my friends were. Or I would fly to New York where my sister and brother in law live. And every time I went to D.C. I also traveled to D.C. once a month on business. I always felt like I was flying back into my life. And so really striking. So my first best day, was the day that I decided I needed to leave that job. And that was about seven months in. And it was like this huge weight was taken off my shoulders. So then I started looking for a job in Washington D.C. And so this is 1995. There's no Internet. There are no cell phones. This is back in the day when a friend of mine, friend of a friend, who has since became my friend had two Rolodexes. And I sat in her office in D.C. and she went through her Rolodexes and she said, "Get in touch with these people. Use my name." And then I read the letters that I have printed on that really nice paper that you used to buy. And I nailed them. And then you know then I called them on my landline to make appointments and then I set up all these appointments and then I took time off of work. I don't forget what I said I was doing, it really detailed clandestine meetings in Chicago because there was the possibility that I actually might see my boss in Washington D.C.. But it was amazing actually how much being able to use my friend's name, opened a lot of doors for me and this is my first experience with doing informational interviewing. And I was really struck by how generous people were with their time even in Washington D.C. Through that experience of networking looking for a job, I actually interviewed for a job as a legislative assistant to then candidate Senator Joseph Lieberman and other finalists. And they hired somebody had so much more experience than me. That's fine. But I asked a colleague at the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association if she would be a reference for me and she was. My colleague based in D.C. and I didn't get that job. But then she called me and she said, "I have a job for you. Do you want to come work for me?" And the answer was, "absolutely yes." And so I ended up going to work for her. And it was night and day from my experience of having worked with the folks and she got liked the leadership in Chicago.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:15

The culture in one section was completely different than the other section.

Jackie Yerby 07:20

And also I mean, just I felt like the boss I had with D.C. was warm, comfortable in her own skin. But I remembered, like my office was right next to hers. And had that been the case in Chicago. Like it just... it would have been untenable. And my new boss would say, "hey we haven't talked in a while. Let's go across the street and get coffee." And I'm having this moment of like, “Oh no, no. This is a different boss. It's okay”.

Scott Anthony Barlow 07:48

Oh dear, flat boss flashbacks.

Jackie Yerby 07:50

Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I felt like this kind of you know like a wounded puppy for a while. So I was in that job for four years doing legislative policy work focused on what was going on the state legislatures, got to travel around the country, got to meet lots of interesting people. But I got tired of living in Washington D.C. And I also felt like I was plateauing and not that I have this like this huge aspirations to be important and famous and whatever. And I feel like I'm on the East Coast where I spent a lot of time like status counts for a lot and I remember watching TV, so I was 30 and were watching TV on a Sunday, watching the Sunday news programs with the Washington post spread around me. And George Stephanopoulos, he was 37 at the time, was on TV and he was counselor to the president. And here's Jamie Rubin, was an adviser to Madeleine Albright, also 37, and I remember thinking, "in seven years, is that what I'm going to be doing? I don't think so." Not much less my life takes a really different path. And I just, you know, get a turbo charge. But I was also like that's a not, I don't actually want that life. It felt like unless I go down that path I'm not going to be seen as successful in this environment. Also I'm originally from the West Coast, I'm originally from California. I live in Portland Oregon now, and I really missed trees. And it's not like I'm somebody who goes hiking and camping all the time. But like when I worked in downtown, Portland, I could look out my window and I could see three park blocks in downtown that have dove birds, you know. In Washington D.C. there was rock creek park which I would occasionally ride my bike through on my way somewhere or walk with a friend. But as a woman, it didn't feel safe to be in that space by myself. I remember I was also talking with friends like "hey, let’s go camping this summer." And I think I did that for three summers in a row. We never went camping. I wanted to move to a place where like nature felt a lot more present and also where people valued things other than work. And so back in '97, I just was starting to feel really bored in Washington D.C. and also at that time the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal. Actually, I feel bad for calling it the "Monica Lewinsky scandal." 'Cuz she's actually turned into this really amazing and graceful person. But that was going on.

Scott Anthony Barlow 10:23

The book “Clinton scandal”.

Jackie Yerby 10:24

Clinton scandal. Thank you, thank you. And so the environment in D.C. just the atmosphere just felt particularly toxic and I just thought, I got to get out of here. So like I said I've been traveling a lot, have met a lot of people around the Blue Cross Blue Shield System and really hit it off with somebody who was the chief legal officer for the Blue Cross Blue Shield company in Oregon. And I was in Portland to do a presentation to the leadership team and he said, "If you're ever interested in working here, let me know." I was like, hey and I really liked Portland from the time that I came to visit. And so I followed up with a Christmas card with the like, "Hey, I'm actually kind of interested." and got, you know, the like, let's talk. And then he called me, I think in January and said, "I have something that you might be interested in." And I perked up and I said, "What is it?" And he said, "Ethics and compliance officer" and I literally said, “are you nuts?” And the field was really new at the time. And my experience of interacting with the ethics and compliane officer at my company who had, was the chief auditor and became that was, I mean he didn't have great social skills and so if I saw him like, I'd walk in the other direction and not that I had anything to hide. I just wasn't a comfortable person to talk to. Mark, the chief legal officer and I kept talking and he explained his vision for the job and that it wasn't to be that cop, sort of busting people, for behaving badly but it was to set a tone. To help create an ethical culture within an organization. And the thing that I loved about it was that there was an opportunity to learn and grow on the job. And I specifically asked that I've never done this. And lots of people have never done this. So I have ideas but you and other people I will be interviewing with can't ask me what I have done because I haven't. And that was kind of funny, I flew to Portland for a day and a half of interviews. I was like, "we need to have breakfast because I need to make sure that people understand again like, who I am and what my background is." And he's like, "absolutely." And I don't know that anybody else interviewed for the job. So you know, I had this like marathon day and a half of interviews and I got off the job. And they totally lived up to their commitment of letting me learn and grow on the job.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:01

That's awesome.

Jackie Yerby 13:02

Yeah. And I got to work with a great team of people, the other ethics and compliane officers in the other states where this company did business at work. And so Idaho Washington side, yeah, Idaho Washington and Utah. And it was the kind of thing where we didn't know each other before but we just really clicked. And it was the kind of thing where the kind of work we were doing it was really important that we trust each other and felt that we had each other's backs and we did. And we never became cynical about people which is how I was able to do that job for 11 years. There's some pretty stressful times and there's some very stressful investigations.

Scott Anthony Barlow 13:10

So then, that sounds great in terms of that lines up with so much more than some of the other pieces that we've talked about previously in terms of, hey it's a better location that matches up with what you really want, different people that aligned with what you really want, a cause that in a lot of ways, you could get behind that made sense at the time. So what ended up changing from that, that caused you to move on?

Jackie Yerby 14:11

So I switched jobs within the company. I became the Sustainability Program Manager and part of it was like our leadership changed. And I didn't so much care for that person. Smartest guy in the room consistently mansplain and also I just felt like my team had changed. So I was ready to move on. And the CEO, who was the person that originally recruited me to come work with the company, he had gone from the Chief Legal Officer to CEO, he created this position, the Sustainability Program Manager position, and I really care about sustainability. So this idea of triple bottom line that it's not just about the environment but it's also you know how to make economic sense and have to be good for people. And that just really resonated with me. So actually I was the second person in that role. The first person became a really good friend of mine, he's still a good friend of mine. And it was a growth opportunity for him but not a passion for him the way that it was for me. And he was just appointed to it. And I remember being really disappointed about that, that I didn't get a chance to raise my hand. And so I reached out to him and I said, "Congratulations. Then you have to let me help you." So I did. And so I became part of the unofficial team. And when it came time for him to move into another role, I became the most obvious person to step in. I had to interview for that. I think there was maybe one other person so I got the job.

Scott Anthony Barlow 15:56

Let's go back to that what you just said for just a moment because I think that is something that is not the first inclination for many people. But I think it's really important. And I just heard you say that, hey like you saw this sort of situation that wasn't... maybe wasn't necessarily desirable because it sounds like you wanted to be able to raise your hand to be able to have an opportunity at that role at least. And what has a tendency to happen for many people is, they will just write it off as, you know... didn't have an opportunity, so I'm just going to, you know, I'm just not going to worry about it or didn't have an opportunity and I can't believe that guy got the job or any number of other things other than what you did in what you did was say, okay, I'm going to... I'm actually going to continue to be involved in this in a really positive and productive way. And then not so long afterwards, it created an opportunity for you and that is, unfortunately, I think the polar opposite of what many people will do and what I've even done in the past in certain cases too. But what I've found is that when you do exactly what you did where you look at that potentially not great situation and turn it into something that really is really positive and productive and actually really legitimately helpful for everybody, then it almost always comes out so much better in ways that you can't anticipate. So, nicely done, first of all.

Jackie Yerby 17:30

Thanks. So I got that job.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:32

Yeah.

Jackie Yerby 17:34

And then I realized how much harder it was than the job that I had which was actually pretty hard.

Scott Anthony Barlow 17:39

Careful what you wish for, I suppose right?

Jackie Yerby 17:41

Yes, totally. And my friend, Dan, who had a job and then became my boss told me that it was like pushing rocks uphill that if he moved the program an inch forward in a day that that felt like success. I think him stepping into that job coincided with the start of the great recession. And so then it became about like waste and kind of productivity and, you know, streamlining processes which can certainly be a part of it but that's not a part of it. And to me, it never felt like there was a heart or a vision behind it. And I tried to articulate one like, hey let's get really involved around like childhood obesity. And here is how it affects the triple bottom line, you know, let's talk about how we're spending so much money on drugs for kids for type 2 diabetes that we wouldn't expect to see until decades later. And kids are really hard to treat because they're noncompliant, right. And then you know let's talk about food deserts and neighborhoods without sidewalks and parks and places for kids to like play in their own neighborhoods. And then there's no movement. And for that, you know, there's the environment he's in. And then the people he's about like, again, how it's impacting people. And I would tell them, I would have shot that around the organization and people would work in the right way. Is this about recycling? And I’m like, I am a master recycler. I actually really care, I’m a geek about this stuff but I just felt like I couldn't get traction. And when I came to realize from talking to other peers in our organization is that organizations that make things, that have a tangible inputs and tangible outputs like get sustainability a lot more because when you can use less material, less inputs you were saving, you were obviously saving money and you can tell a great environmental story about it. But in a service company, it's harder for that to pencil out, kind of hearts and minds to see, hey this really matters to employees and let's talk about employee retention.

Scott Anthony Barlow 19:53

It's not as pressing and in front of everybody in the same way. Unless it is already deeply ingrained into all of the other leadership messages and all of the other elements. So I totally get that. So what was the breaking point that caused you to decide to move on?

Jackie Yerby 20:12

Well I was laid off which is actually fantastic.

Scott Anthony Barlow 20:17

It worked out perfectly.

Jackie Yerby 20:19

And I mean obviously it's a hard thing but I was so ready to move on. So that was at the end of 2014. And in 2015, I started looking and this is like, I haven't looked for a job in a long time, probably not really since 1995 when I was looking at Washington D.C. and I didn't know how to look for a job, right? So I had like a one page cover letter that you know you can actually say a lot and cover a lot of ground in one page. And I didn’t know that I was supposed to parrot their words back to them in the application or the posting back to them so that their computer flagged it. And I was like, "oh, she's got this because she used our words." So I didn't get interviews for things because I didn't score, because I didn't understand their algorithms. So I'll just say it like, I do a lot of volunteer stuff. And I dove into volunteering to help save the LGBTQ community center which was in danger of closing. And I went there because I had the time, frankly, and also like a came from the board of basic rights in Oregon which is a statewide LGBTQ rights organization. And it was a great because I got my mojo back. It was like I had something unique to offer in this group. And I felt valued in a way that I hadn't for a long time. So I'm super grateful for that experience but also, I mean, I made some really great friends out of it and the Q Center the LGBTQ community center is still here. It's arising. It's the kind of place that when we are going through this which was like a weekly two-hour meetings that turned into four-hour meetings for six months. It's the place that I think, we all hoped it would become. But again a really great experience for restoring my confidence in myself and what I have to offer folks.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:35

I think that's really important though, Jackie. What has a tendency to happen to a lot of people is just what you described where they're in a role that, for all intents and purposes, is kind of sucking the life out of them, right.

Jackie Yerby 22:48

Yes.

Scott Anthony Barlow 22:49

In one way or another. And it looks a little bit different for everybody but you know I was just having this conversation with my wife last night actually because she's considering a transition from what some of the things that she's doing, she's been involved in a lot of different pieces. And one of those, she actually really loves what she's doing but doesn't really love the situation around it. It's sort of, in the same way, sucking the life out of her. And in order to really make a successful transition you kind of have to find ways in order to bring that mojo back, as you're putting it. And I think that that confidence that has a tendency to come back with that is really really important. And it's one piece of the process that a lot of people I think don't think about or don't realize. And you know we see it all the time as we're working with people where we have to create a situation where they're bringing that back and then do the rest of the steps.

Jackie Yerby 23:46

Well, you know, was my experience of starting to work with you guys, but before we get to that I'll say, so in 2015, I did some consulting. I did some like equity work, like racial equity work within the environmental movement. And I really enjoyed that and felt like this really spoke to... it felt important and valuable. So I did that. And then I also got recruited to work in a climate change campaign called The New Oregon. And I got recruited to be a faith organizer cause I'm a person of faith. But I loved doing that, didn't pay well. I was contracted for a certain number of hours. It felt meaningful and important. That was also the summer that the pope came out with his people on climate change among other things. So you know so I got to talk about the pope a lot you know and obviously it was in the news. But I just... it was like, it just felt great to be working on something that I really cared about. And that drew on a lot of things that I had to offer including my faith. I was like, I just... I don't know that I ever felt that. And so it was great. And I thought I wanted to do nonprofit work and in fact I think it's really important I serve on a lot of nonprofit works. I found I wanted to be an executive director. Actually a friend, somebody I have a ton of respect for said, "hey you know you should think about this one." And I was completely flattered like that this person would think of me in connection to this role at his organization that they were working at at that time. I made it through the interview process and then I was one of two finalists. But there was this long sort of lag between the last interview and when they made the offer which kind of soured me on the experience and I just, I remember joking with them that it sort of felt like junior high like I would totally date you. But you know I want to date this other person. You don't love about that. And I'm not gonna state that organization. But it was an organization for which I volunteered in the early 2000s when I first arrived back in Portland. So even though I hadn't stayed connected to it, it was special and important. What I realized when I got in there was just how all consuming the job is being an executive director is 24/7. I would dream about it, I would wake up in the middle of a night like gasping about like something I was stressed out about. I would think about it when I was gardening, you know, it just... it was hard to turn off. So the other thing is that, I did not love the job and I think I realized pretty early on that I didn't love it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:00

What didn't you love about it?

Jackie Yerby 27:03

I didn't love that being the Executive Director is pretty lonely and isolating. And I am somebody who likes working with the team. I like bouncing ideas off other people.

Scott Anthony Barlow 27:17

You're very collaborative. Every conversation I've ever had with you. It feels more like a collaboration than it is, I don't know anything else than a conversation.

Jackie Yerby 27:27

Yeah. Thank you. So yeah, I value collaboration and I value like making decisions that the lowest level that makes sense. And so you know people would ask me for permission for things and I'm like, you can make this decision you know and not like, 'hey don't involve me.' But it was like, well actually you can handle this and I'm happy to be a sounding board. But ultimately, you're the subject matter expert, you get to make a decision. And I felt that that wasn't valued. And in fact there were some folks that I worked with who I felt like, took advantage of that. And were actually kind of manipulative in terms of like, I know more than you, sort of made me or tried to make me feel like small and vulnerable. So it just didn't feel like a safe environment. I like challenges. But this was just a lot more than I wanted to deal with or something that I didn't love. I didn't feel valued and I didn't think that I could thrive in that environment. And that was reinforced by some feedback that I got... that gave me permission to say, "I'm done. I'm out of here." And I still reflect on that idea of needing permission to go as opposed to just deciding, this isn't working and going. I left that job almost a year to the day. And it is interesting. So I had actually interviewed for another Executive Director job at that time, the bicycle advocacy organization and I was a finalist. And I heard that I was the choice of the staff and I heard from a number of board members that they were really excited about me. But they went in a different direction which is probably good for me because I really don't think I want to be an Executive Director again. But I'm really passionate about active transportation and I had a lot of ideas for this organization. But anyway, so I was already like making plans for what would come next and not coming from a place of being anxious. But just as you know there are these opportunities. And I applied for another job doing equity and inclusion work which is a passion of mine at Central City Concern which works of people in recovery from substance abuse and alcohol abuse, great organization. And so you know there were things that were happening. And even though like I got right into that I wasn't feeling anxious about it. And I also knew that I needed some time to decompress after I was laid off in 2014. I realized how much, even in Portland, people identify with their work. And so people like, "What do you do?" You know and I'm like "oh I'm a consultant and I'm doing this training." And this time around people would say, "What do you do?" And I'd say, "I don't." And I would say like with a certain amount of glee. And I think it was in November, a friend of mine said, "you don't work for money." And I'm like, "okay, I don't work for money. I actually have stayed very engaged with different nonprofits that I'm part of." Yeah, I don't sit still well and so it's not been like oh I have breath and relaxed. I've definitely decompress from the last job. But I have been applying for things here and there, a number of government based equity and inclusion jobs. And get an interview because I had learned to play that game, right? Of like, I'm parroting your words back at you. And in some cases, you know I would get a second interview. And in some cases, I wouldn't, which didn't feel great. And then there was a job that had a community engagement equity component to it working for the Bureau of Emergency Management. And I was actually really excited about that. And for folks not listening from Cascadia, the last major earthquake was over 300 years ago and where the schedule is every 300 years and so we're trying to do and it's going to be bad. And so I care a lot about emergency preparedness. And here was an opportunity to work with communities of color around emergency preparedness. I'm really excited about it. They were excited about me, and they chose somebody else. And that's at the time, that's when I first connected with Happen To Your Career, because there was this job that I really wanted. And then you know they were super lovely about, "hey we think you're great, but..."

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:16

You're second place.

Jackie Yerby 32:18

And so in Portland, we have this thing called Mac's list, it comes out on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And Tuesdays when you know the job listings are. And usually I would go straight to the job listings. But on that day, I happened to read, you know what else is going on. And that's when they mentioned the webinar that you did the following day. I was like, "okay I'll sign up for this. I'll check it out." And I was in that headspace of not feeling confident. Like why can't I close the deal. Like, don't you know what I have to offer?

Scott Anthony Barlow 32:52

Don't you understand me?

Jackie Yerby 32:55

I'm starting to feel desperate and lacking confidence and starting to go down the path of the things that you folks talk about not doing which is just like, oh my gosh, I need to not just look on Mac's list but I need to look on idealist and all these other places. You know I need to apply more and I need to... I was starting to feel that scramble and I should say, like I have financed this year of not working. And I'll say like people ask me if I was going to do consulting. And I said "No." I like working with other people. I like working in infrastructure, organization has some infrastructure. I didn't want to be hustling for work. I have borrowed money from myself to make this happen. And so not looking forward to tax time next year. But I was fortunate and that I worked in the private sector for many years, I built up a very healthy retirement fund and I've got an amazing financial planner who has been taking care of me through my retirement resources for the last year.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:00

So let me ask you about that really quick because I think that that is important. And you and I have had conversation already about this, so I know some of the behind the scenes and everything. But why did you feel like, that was the right decision for you? Because it's probably not the right decision for everybody necessarily but why was that the right decision for you?

Jackie Yerby 34:20

So, I guess when I felt like I had the wherewithal to do it that I could afford to do it.

Scott Anthony Barlow 34:26

Yeah.

Jackie Yerby 34:26

When I was laid off at the end of 2014 and I first started working with this financial planning group who have just taken great care of me. One of the questions I asked was, "Should I be saving for retirement this year that I'm not working?" And they said, "if you didn't save any money for the rest of your working life, you would be fine." I mean that was a huge relief to hear because even when I was working there wasn't a lot in the way of retirement benefits. And so I just I felt like really confident that I was sitting on this comfortable nest egg which I still need to be responsible. So I've been making it work and it's been fine like learning to ride the bus again and like walking around and just noticing and being present. And it also really changed my relationship with time because I have to think about how long it's going to take me to get somewhere. And so I'm actually not, I mean there's still a certain amount of rushing but there's also a certain amount of like waiting and reading and noticing. And I actually really like that and I hope I can hold on to that even after I get back into the car owner.

Scott Anthony Barlow 35:40

Not to go too far in that direction. But I thought that was really interesting too because when we went and we lived in Paris for a month and were using, we were riding public transportation all around or when we were in London for a period of time doing the exact same thing. It was really really nice because I mean I live in Moses Lake Washington, and we don't have great public transportation. We don't have like, if I want to go anywhere, then it's about five miles away. And it's a hike. And I kind of actually loved that. I loved not having a car and not driving anyplace along those lines because I'd become used to it. But it really does, to your point, change a relationship a bit with time in that way.

Jackie Yerby 36:26

Well and also for me, also changed my relationship with people, you know because you get all kinds of people on the bus and sometimes I'm on a bus late at night because I like to work at a brewpub, you know less than a mile away from me. And so I'll hop on the 11:02 bus and you get some really interesting people on the bus at 11 o'clock at night. And it's just made me, in some ways, more patient with people you know like people have their own thing going on and I'm just not going to move my seat because of whatever. So the financial peace. I just... I felt like I had the wherewithal to do it. And I'm really really grateful about that. The other thing I'll say, I'm not a penny pincher and, you know probably would be better off if I were in a lot of ways but I didn't like change my standard of living a lot in the last year I'm not working. So again I felt like I could afford to do that. We'll see how I feel like, I said next tax time when I'm paying taxes and penalties on this early withdrawal that I've been taking to fund my life. But yeah and I just... I mean it gave me the headspace to not just take anything and certainly not take something I hate. And I guess the other thing too was coming out of a space of just knowing how soul killing that could be, to be in a space of like, I'm just doing this because I need to, you know, and it's hard to find like what you want to really be doing when all of your energy is being sucked away with just sort of going through the motions.

Scott Anthony Barlow 38:13

So that's a really interesting take because essentially what you were doing for all, intents and purposes, was you were financing your headspace and the regrowth of your soul as you were. And I think when you're looking at it like that, that really changes how you're looking, it changes how I look at value. But I think that having talked to you then because I got to have a pretty early on conversation with you after you found us, just as we were I can't remember totally how it happened but you and I, we found ourselves on the phone. You were telling me a little bit about this and it really did sound like it was the right thing for you based on everything else that you just shared with us. Like I don't think you would have gone down the same path and the same way, had you not created that space for yourself.

Jackie Yerby 39:04

Yeah, You and I like the first after I signed up, after I decided I wanted to do it. I was supposed to have a coaching call with somebody else. And then you hopped in and you're like, "is this okay?" I'm like, "yeah. it's totally okay." And I really appreciated that first conversation and it really set a very positive tone for my interactions with all the Happen To Your Career Career Change Bootcamp folks said that, "you're real, you're warm, your human, you listen amazingly well." Like I was talking to Caroline. She got like, "Hey so I heard you say that..." And it was like listening sort of below like behind the message, behind the words in ways that was almost spooky. So when you and Caroline asked me like, "what did I need from you" and what I needed was a confidence boost because at that time my confidence was flagging. And so going through Career Change Bootcamp and you know doing the different exercises like the strength thing which I kind of got bogged down in that. But I loved the piece about asking people like when you have us reach out and ask people to comment on our strengths. And I reached out to a bunch of people. And you know I figure they have good things to say about me but the consistency of those messages was great.

Scott Anthony Barlow 40:30

What did that do for you? Just curious.

Jackie Yerby 40:33

Well it's also for me, again, made me feel like, hey I actually have something to offer here. And just like reconnected with that. At that time when I'm like, nobody is wearing me. So that was that piece. And I said the other thing that was really really valuable was what you had is doing module one of creating a support network which you know I had once sort of informally. I mean I have one. But the formality of it, this is what I'm doing, would you be part of that. I almost didn't do that part and I'm glad that I did. And what having that support team made me do was I checked in with them at least every week, two weeks and a half and said, "Here's who I am." And you know some days it was, "I'm excited about this interview." And, "hey I'm really getting a lot out of this Career Change Bootcamp" and some days it was like, "Oh my God. I didn't get a second interview. I'm super stressed." And it was really great to have these folks like offer encouragement and support. So whether you're participating in a Career Change Bootcamp or not to have that and to have more than one person as part of that and doing it in a really, I don't wanna say formulaic way, but a more formal way. I found incredibly helpful today. So another thing that happened was in mid March, I started working with you in January, and in mid March, I think I was working on two job applications and the way that I applied for jobs and there were government jobs, the way I apply for jobs as I do a ton of research and you know go all over like this organization Website. And I had a coaching call with Caroline and she said, "don't apply for it" and I was like, "okay." And I didn't apply and I felt great. I also stopped looking at Mac's list. I focused on the Career Change Bootcamp and other things. And it just felt like this huge weight came off of my shoulders and it was interesting like at first it was hard to not look right? Because we're so programmed to like oh my gosh this email, showed up in my inbox and got all these things, I should be looking for this. And so I made myself not look. And so there was a job that I'd applied for, the Oregon Food Bank that I'm super excited about. Didn't I get a second interview. So again still not in the... I'm not looking stage. We're also still starting to have that, going back to where I was in January of like, "maybe I should be looking, maybe I should be like scanning all these lists because something's not happening." And in Portland and other cities as well there's a group called a civic organization called the City of Portland. I was a member a long time ago, recently re-joined, a friend of mine the Executive Director. Another good friend of mine was the Chair of the Board, she just started off of that. And the programming is really great. And so I was at the City Club and it was the state of the city. So another good friend of mine is Portland's small two degrees of separation was interviewing the mayor as the second part of a two part state of the city. And at that thing, afterwards I went up and was talking to people and saying hello to friends. I talked to the woman who will be my boss, who was the CEO of the Urban League of Portland. And we've known each other for years, where finally we hug each other when we see each other. And she asked me, 'how I was doing at the job I used to hold.' And I'm pretty sure that I told her that I'd left. But I reminded her that I'd left and she asked me, 'what I was doing' and I said, "I'm not", again with that like you know, 'what you do' "I don't." And she said, "why didn't you come work for me? I could use you. You should have come work for me. Come work for me."

Scott Anthony Barlow 44:29

Why aren't you here already?

Jackie Yerby 44:30

Yeah. It was basically like that and I was like "Hey." And she said, "We should talk." And I said, "Well I've applied to this other job" and she's like "Don't go work for them. Come work for me." And so you know really flattered by that. I think she is amazing. Like ever since she's originally an Oregonian. So native Oregonians are a big deal as in, you know most of us are not native. So she's a native Oregonian which was working on the East Coast, working politics, came back to Oregon a few years ago. And so I've followed her career. Her predecessor in the Urban League is a good friend of mine. And every time I've heard her name, Nkenge Harmon Johnson. Every time I heard her speak I thought, "Wow. This woman is amazing. She says what's on her mind. She doesn't dance around, she holds people accountable. She's a strong strong woman, strong voice, and a really great and important voice for the African-American community." So just nothing but admiration for her. So anyway there's the whole 'come work for me' thing. And about just as I was thinking 'oh I should follow up with her.' So this was 10 days after we had talked. And I think I was working on some other stuff. She emailed me to say, "hey you know legislative session is coming up, well, next year. And our state of Oregon report and we could really use you as a policy director. Come work for me." And it was more like elegantly stated than that. That was the gist of it. And I was like "Wow." And felt good and excited about it. Like it was around that time that I also realized that I wasn't moving forward with the food bank. And actually felt okay about that. That job would have been largely an H.R. job which were they were pulling equity people in culture. And I definitely could have done it. But it's not like my sweet spot. And you know the food bank is great. It does amazing and important work. But the thought of being a public policy space working on racial justice issues for, especially the African-American community, just feels really resonant right now. The other thing is Nkenge and I follow each other on Twitter. And on Twitter most of my tweets are pretty political. So you can get a good sense of what I care about and what I think about, and I'll just pause and say, before I started at the non-profit, it was right around the time that a group of people occupied the Malheur Wildlife Refuge, bird refuge in eastern Oregon. I had a lot of feelings about that. And I was vocal about them on Facebook. And one of my friends, an old friend, wrote me a note and said that she was worried about me being able to find a job because I was so political. And we're not friends anymore because that me being true is really important to me. And I'm fortunate in that I don't come from a family where it's awkward to have converse... like we care about the same things. Right? So I don't have to worry about not making mom or dad bad or you know, actually I do have one aunt who's, you know.

Scott Anthony Barlow 48:14

There's always that one aunt.

Jackie Yerby 48:15

Yeah, you know. And so it was just... it was like, you're telling me that I need to check myself in order to be palatable to other people. And I was like, that's bad.

Scott Anthony Barlow 48:29

That's exactly the wakeup call that could be needed but in the opposite way.

Jackie Yerby 48:34

Yeah. And so the fact that like one of the ways that Nkenge knew me was through like how I engage on Twitter like that told her something about me. And also I think through that and other avenues like one of the things that she talked to me about was she's like, "I need somebody who can help me hold people accountable, hold people in the community accountable for their commitments to the people we serve." And I love that. I can be tough, I can be fierce. I mean I want to be collaborative, right? But I'm also just like "yeah, we're not doing that" or you said, you need to do this. I need you to do this. And so I'm really excited to be in a role that values that and where I will get to use that. So yeah it was one of the things where there wasn't a formal interview process. And it's interesting because another good friend of mine, who was actually the board of the food bank, asked me about the Urban League's process. And I started telling her. And her response was, "Well that doesn't feel very equitable." And I was like a guppy and like "um..." And what I said was the equitable process is, I think I told you this Scott, the equitable processes that I participated in, felt almost dehumanizing. Like we're making it so fair. Like we were scoring you. We were not responding to ... like there's no asset in the room.

Scott Anthony Barlow 50:15

It's gonna be so equitable we're going to take all the humanness out of it.

Jackie Yerby 50:21

Yeah. It was horrible. And I'm trying to figure out how to give them that feedback and I think it's based on the false premise that we're going to strip relationship out of this. Right? And I was talking to another friend and I would say, my really good, both of these women are white, which feels important to say. And the second friend I was talking to said, "you know the Urban League's equity journey looks very different than the food bank's equity journey or most organizations equity journey. Like they don't have to work as hard to hire folks of color as an organization that isn't that diverse and doesn't have that history." I was like, I wish I had those words when I was talking to my friend. And the other thing that comes to mind is, I was at a friend's high school graduation a couple weekends ago. And this is a young friend who I've met him when he was four years old when his family arrived from Democratic Republic of Congo as refugees. And my church was part of the group that sponsored them. And so I've, you know I've known this kid for 14 years, and he is amazing. He's going to Georgetown in the fall. So I went to his graduation. And their keynote speaker was a graduate, I think she graduated four or five years ago, and she's giving advice to the graduating class. And I felt like she could have been giving advice to me you know someone a lot older than her. And one of the things she said was, "take advantages of opportunities that present themselves. So if the elevator door opens, get in. Don't feel like you have to go find a ladder and climb that ladder, get in the elevator." And I was like, "ugh! That is what I needed to hear." Because I feel like you know again out of this idea of equity and fairness. Like, oh no no no we need to make this hard. We need to go this way to create these you know perceptions of fairness. Anyway it'll be interesting to see. Like once I'm in that role, how that's perceived internally as well as externally. So I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate that. But most people have shared the story with her, like oh my god that's amazing and you're going to be great, you know?

Scott Anthony Barlow 52:43

I agree, as it turns out. Let me ask you this though, because here's what I know from our team being involved with your journey is that, this wasn't always easy and there was a lot going on behind the scenes. And even though it felt like in the end, if people were just looking at the end result, it felt like this happened very organically, there is a lot that took place in between in order to actually get to hear. So I'm curious from your perspective now that you're looking back, what do you feel like was the hardest part of going through that. Because it had you accepted or had you at anything, you know occurred differently had you not... does it made the decision to not apply for some of these roles and not worry about some of all the minutiae that was out there that probably wasn't a great fit for you. Then potentially you could have ended up accepting something completely different in a different place that might not have been a great fit. So what do you feel like looking back was some of the most difficult parts for you?

Jackie Yerby 53:53

Sorry, like most difficult about like being part of the bootcamp or just in general?

Scott Anthony Barlow 53:57

No, on this process.

Jackie Yerby 54:00

I mean, I think it was the... you know, there were definitely times that felt anxious, right? There were definitely times that again, like I would get excited about something, you know it's like you fall in love with the possibility of a job. And then you know you go into that interview and this is why you want me. Until you talk yourself into something even if there might be reservations about it and then to not have that. So there was, you know questions about my own judgement. And you know, what am I lacking? And I'm talking to friends who are also looking and you know not being hired for things and that feels like a common thread. And so trying to like weather that, you know and it again, my support system helped, Caroline helped. And you know like kind of staying connected to Happen To Your Career help. I was listening to a podcast. And I would just kind of like take a deep breath and be like, "Oh yeah that's right. Okay. Yeah." 'Cuz it can feel overwhelming and kind of lonely you know and then to hear about other people's experiences and be like, "Oh that's right. This is what this feels like." And there's another side, right? Yeah. So I mean... so I think that emotional roller coaster felt very hard. And also and I kept having to remind myself to find something that I really wanted to do and not just something that I could do. And Caroline kept like parroting that back to me like, "Well, you said this. So you know, remember this." Because there were definitely times when like, I could do that. And you know when I think about the different government jobs that I applied for and you know easy to say on this side of it when I didn't get it and I've gotten something else. But I don't know I have an idea of a good bureaucrat. I don't know that I would function well in that system and I, you know, works for a very large bureaucratic organization for a very long time and was successful most of that time, so I can navigate that but I think I'm done.

Scott Anthony Barlow 56:40

You don't want to in the same way.

Jackie Yerby 56:42

Yeah. I think I'm sort of done, like toning it down for somebody else. And you know having to navigate like big systems and silos and stuff. And I'd say every organization has their idiosyncrasies and their dysfunctions and so I'm not you know I'm not expecting everything in Urban League to be like, amazing. But hopefully a lot more nimble. And I feel like I'm going to get a lot of... have a lot of space to be myself, to bring like my best whole self and my connections built up over 18 years of living, 19 years of living in this community and the services I work. And that it's work that I really care about. I feel like it's work that needs to be done and I'm excited that I get to do it. So yeah, so I am... one of the things that I feel like, you guys do really well is to keep us focused on what's right for us and the way that I told that to friends to whom I recommended Happen To Your Career is a lot of times applying for a job is, 'Here's a round hole, you're square peg so let's get out the sandpaper.'

Scott Anthony Barlow 58:13

I feel like your next tweet should be what you said earlier that, "I'm completely done toning myself down for everyone else."

Jackie Yerby 58:25

And yeah. So I feel like you know Happen To Your Career is all about like what fits you, what do you need, what do you want. And I love that piece of it because a lot of times I feel like what we want like that we're being... we're asking for too much. Let's say, "I want this." And you guys are like, "No. that's actually really important. So can you find that thing that you want? Because if you don't, then you might be in a place of like it's a slog again." So it was helpful to have that sort of North Star of what do I want. And I should say this was... I mean, they definitely you know crawled all over the Urban League website. I'd rather see a black Oregon report. Talked to my friend who was the previous CEO but I didn't... I haven't researched it the way that I did the other ones. So how does this feels like a leap of faith? But again, I have a ton of respect for the Urban League CEO. I'm excited that I get to work with her. And I'm excited that she sees things in me based on having known me for years and observe me for years that I can benefit the organization. So again I feel like I get to be who I am, to bring like my best full self to this work in service of an important social justice effort. So yeah, I'm super excited about that.

Scott Anthony Barlow 1:00:16

That is amazing. And congratulations, by the way.

Jackie Yerby 1:00:20

Yeah, thanks.

Scott Anthony Barlow 1:00:21

And you know one of the things that runs through my mind as hearing you say all this and talking through the entire thing here and now is, it almost feels like in some way that you're going to such great lengths to do so much research. And I would never discourage people from preparing or would never discourage people from... just going in with no prep, no research, not understanding whether something is likely to be a fit necessarily. But it almost feels like a lot of those cases the more that you go into it, the more that you'd find ways to justify that this could be a fit for me. And I almost feel like afterwards, you know, having seen the full circle that I think it is less of a leap of faith, regardless of how it feels like outside looking at it it seems like it is actually less of a leap of faith based on all of the really important things are very aligned. And you have to like go find those things on a website someplace that it was said so that you could say them back to them or whatever else right.

Jackie Yerby 1:01:29

Right.

Scott Anthony Barlow 1:01:30

And I think that in itself is real. That is the important thing. So nicely done. Because that's not easy.

Jackie Yerby 1:01:39

Thank you. You know though, I think about... I don't necessarily want to say serendipity, you know but I think about it like having gone to that city club and you know not surprising that both of us would be at a Mayor's like State of the city address. But one of the things that, like the coaching that I've offered to other people is about being present. And you know about, I don't like to... I mean I don't like the word networking because I think it implies, like something that's transactional. And over the years like I have built a lot of relationships across a lot of different sectors and issues. And so I had my 50th birthday party last year, I invited tons of friends over. And one of my friends whom I knew from a project where they used to work and I was on the board, and they are a person of color, they said, "wow this crowd, like is truly intersectional." I had church friends and I had LGBTQ friends and I had friends from the different nonprofit, friends from like my biking circle. And yeah it was just a really interesting fun mix of people. And so I've developed a lot of relationships and friendships over the years. And it's not quite came from a transactional space but it feels like it has served me well in getting to this point. And I say this was someone who was an introvert. But introvert means I'd rather talk to someone one on one or in small groups than you know to be like interacting with larger people. So for example at my birthday party, I didn't actually want to talk to anybody. I wanted them to talk to each other or that I would party to them for like 2 minutes at a time. But I don't know, I just... you know I put myself out there. I talk to people. I got to know people. I think Nkenge also talked to like her predecessor about me and imagined she talked to other people about me. And yeah and I feel like that played an important role here. And so I've tried to encourage people to find the things like the city club that feel comfortable, that aren't just about I'm looking for a job. But, hey we have here shared interests. What did you think about that panel? And not just like I'm looking for a job and you work there. Although you know that works too, but that feels different.

Scott Anthony Barlow 1:04:37

It does feel different and I think the different feeling is a big part of it. I've got one more big question for you. No pressure or anything. But you know you've gone through this entire change, it's been quite a journey over the last year. And there's been so many elements of it that we've just talked through. What advice would you give to people who are kind of on the beginning of that, where they have realized that, hey I'm in the equivalent role where I know that I don't want to do this anymore and I am thinking about making this change and the right on the precipice. What advice would you give them when they're back there?

Jackie Yerby 1:05:17

Yeah. So I, you know I see... I usually reads comments in a Facebook group of Career Change Facebook group and I realize people are in lots of different spaces and have different situations, right. And I would say, "get out of the situation before it crushes you." And that's really strong language. But I think about the situation I was in before I was laid off where I felt like I couldn't hold my head up in terms of like, how I talked about the work that I was doing. And I wasn't excited about the work that I was doing, excited about like the kinds of contributions that I made which doesn't make for a great like, 'hey you want to interview me for this job.' I just I felt low energy or not. And so I'd say it's really hard, I mean certainly for me, it was hard to be in that headspace to think about what I wanted to do next. And I guess it also goes back to confidence and so I'd say, if you can get out of the situation before your confidence is gone and before you feel desperate about finding that next thing, so that's number one. And you know I think about like a bit earlier the climate change campaign that I worked on, and it was like, wow this is what this feels like when you believe in and love what you're doing. And I'll say, I mean, I worked for a large corporation for 16 years. And I believed in what I was doing most of the time that I was there. And you know believed in a lot of what the organization was doing. But body and soul we're kind of integrated. And so when I had that experience of working on the climate change campaign, I was like, "wow that's what feels like." It's hard to go back after that. And I think it was probably in the back of my mind when I was working... when I was running a non-profit. But it was really clear early on that I did not love that job. And so you know, and I get it. Like there's some people who, a job provides them the resources to do the rest of their life and to do things that they love and that's not where they want to put their energy, I get it. My friends are people who are listening to Happen To Your Career podcast and going through the Career Change Bootcamp, are those people that they're looking for meaning in work. And so I think to hold out for a place where that meaning feels like it's there and then the other thing too is that definitely been in situations. And I felt like this about sustainability job is, I'm going to make it meaningful. And it was certainly meaningful to me, but I struggled to make it meaningful for the organization. I wish I had realized that earlier and had decided to move on earlier when I still felt like my head was, I was holding my head high.

Scott Anthony Barlow 1:09:09

Most of our episodes on Happen To Your Career, often showcase stories of people that have identified and found and take the steps to get to work that they are absolutely enamored with, that matches their strengths, and is really what they want in their lives. And if that's something that you're ready to begin taking steps towards, that is awesome. You can actually get on the phone with us and our team, and we can have a conversation to find the very best way that we can help. It's super informal. And we try to understand what your goals are, where you want to go and what specifically you need our help with. And then we figure out the very best type of help for you, whatever that looks like and sometimes even customize that type of help. And then we make happen. The really easy way to schedule a conversation with our team is just go to: scheduleaconversation.com. That's scheduleaconversation.com and find a time that works best for you. We'll ask you a few questions as well. And then we'll get you on the phone to figure out how we can get you going to work that you really want to be doing that fits your strengths, that you love, and you're enamored with. Hey, I can't wait to hear from you.

Scott Anthony Barlow 1:10:33

You probably heard that you need to say 'no' to more things. We've all heard about drawing boundaries. And then if we're too busy, well, guess what, it's just our own fault. All we need to do is say 'yes' to less things. Which sounds easy in theory, and it's nice to write down. And it's great to read about on a blog post. However, it's much harder to do in practice, in reality.

Greg McKeown 1:10:57

All of a sudden, as COVID hit the, you know, like a quarter of the US population, almost literally overnight, had been asked to believe something like involuntary essentialism. Yeah, not unkindly, we were told, go to your room, and don't come out again until you've had a good thing about it. Like, it's a global teenager, we went and have had to think. And I think there's not almost not anybody who hasn't asked whether they said it in exactly these words or not. But the spirit of it is, what's essential now? All the things I could focus on, what should I focus on? All these things I no longer control which things even matter.

Scott Anthony Barlow 1:11:45

That's Greg McKeown. He's a huge advocate for pursuing less. What he refers to as "essentialism". His writing has appeared in places like New York Times, Fast Company, Fortune, Huffington Post, Inc. Magazine, lots of other places. And he's among the most popular bloggers in places like the Harvard Business Review and LinkedIn influencer scripts, averaging over a million views a month. Oh, also, he's the author of "Essentialism" which I read a while back and thought, hey, I have to get Greg on the podcast. So many months later, he's here to discuss the disciplined pursuit of less and where the idea of essentialism actually began. All that and plenty more next week right here on Happen To Your Career. Make sure that you don't miss it. And if you haven't already, click Subscribe on your podcast player so that you can download this podcast in your sleep, and you get it automatically. Even the bonus episodes every single week, sometimes multiple times a week. Until next week, adios. I'm out.

Ready for Career Happiness?

What Career Fits You?

Finally figure out what you should be doing for work

Join our 8-day “Mini-Course” to figure it out. It’s free!